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now that's what i call journamalism

Last week, the media-hijinks website Gawker made a wee oopsy. It posted a story about some guy — literally, just some guy — attempting to step out on his wife with a gay porn star who then tried to blackmail our hero. (It was not, bizarrely enough, an expose of the blackmailer but of the blackmailee.) The Internet responded poorly to the outing of a private person on the word of an extortionist with mental health issues, and after so much outcry, Gawker’s board of directors took the unprecedented step of removing the post from the web. It was long after the horse was out of the boxer briefs, but you do what you can. Now all the top editors are quitting their jobs at Gawker, and also losing their shit! It’s about editorial independence! And the right to out closeted married guys!

After they outed the dude, and the board of directors removed the post, Gawker editors and writers pissed the Internet off even more by posting how U MAD they were about having the post removed. They were the real victims. Even as Gawker Media faces a YOOOGE lawsuit by Hulk Hogan that could be earth-destroying, and the outing post was opening the company up to a second suit by this new guy, editorial employees should have the right to determine what content lives and dies under the Gawker Media banner. Many Gawker employees commented that they thought the post was shit, but, fuck, that was for them to decide, not their bosses.

Those employees are incorrect.

Let me sexplain to Gawker editor Max Read (whom I like) and executive editor for all of Gawker Media Tommy Craggs (whom I don’t know from Saddam but who edited and approved the awesome journalism in question) a few things about ethics in journamalism independence, with which I’ve got some experience. (I’m not the first person to quit a journalism job for the sacred principle of telling the publishers to go fuck themselves, fuck themselves right in the eye, though I don’t know many other people who’ve done it twice. Which is probably why, eventually, I had to buy my own job.)

See, it wasn’t “the business side” dictating to editorial, no matter how huffily you say so in your VERY too long and super whiny (not Read’s so much as Craggs’s) resignation letters. The guy in charge of getting Best Buy to purchase native ads didn’t go into your Kinja and yank the marvelous muckraking journalism about how a media company CFO was trying to get his dick wet with poo. It was Gawker Media’s board of directors who deleted that post, including, rather relevantly, its founder and owner (who, yes, actually gets to determine what is published on the thing he owns, especially if it is GOING TO BANKRUPT HIM TO LEAVE IT THERE BECAUSE YOU ARE A FUCKING YUTZ).

All those times you laughed at BuzzFeed for taking down posts because they hurt advertisers’ feelings, because advertisers suck? This isn’t that. The married closet case guy wasn’t an advertiser who wanted special favors; he was a private citizen whom you skullfucked, and nobody but you really understands why. The board of directors didn’t memory-hole the post. The URL is intact, with an explanation about why the story is gone. That’s about the best you can hope for in a situation like this. When Wonkette wrote that dumb fucking thing about Trig Palin (BEFORE MY TIME, TWITTER ASSHOLES), Ken Layne — who owned this bitch before he sold it to me for $47 and a sandwich — also didn’t want to remove it, in the spirit of transparency and the freewheeling web. He ended up taking the post down even though he didn’t want to, because not everything that’s typed into WordPress deserves to be read, and not every shitty little thing we write is worth a FIRST AMENDMENT FREAKOUT!!11!ELEVEN! And that story wasn’t even actionable. Yours is. (Of course, if it weren’t for sustained boycotts and advertiser blacklists over that dumb fucking Trig Palin post — TO THIS DAY! — I probably wouldn’t have been able to buy Wonkette for $47 and a sandwich. So if you are trying to break Gawker so you can swoop in and vulture up the remains, yeah, keep doing you.)

In addition to facing, according to your owner Nick Denton, possible million dollar losses in advertising — which you would possibly care about once there were a million dollars’ worth of layoffs — your story put a fucking fat target on your company for people who would like to sue it into oblivion. Couple the itchy-trigger-finger lawsuit folks with the stupid, relentless people who suck and who have nothing better to do in life than ring up advertisers and tell them you love to make fun of retarded babies, or out private citizens like you’re fucking Roy Cohn, and guess what then? Sorry if I sound like a capitalist — or, worse, a boss! — but you sound like whiny-ass millennial titty babies. The only thing missing is your mom complaining to the board on your behalf.

In your bright shining world, you seem to think that once you decide to post something — no matter how indecent and objectionable and actionable and crap — there is nothing the owner can do about that because you, the employees, have made up your minds. I think you don’t understand how “bosses” work. Or lawsuits. Or decency really. And when Wonkette is telling you that, sons, you done fucked up. Now, I’d understand if you’d quit your jobs because your boss, Nick Denton, said this:

That post wasn’t what Gawker should stand for, and it is symptomatic of a site that has been out of control of editorial management. Our flagship site carries the same name as the company, and the reputation of the entire company rests on its work. When Gawker itself is seen as sneering and callous, it affects all of us.

From recent research, it is clear that the Gawker brand, for both flagship website and the company, is both confusing and damaging. A friend of the sites attests:

“First thing I’d say is being called Gawker is a big problem – all their other sites are more advertiser-friendly than Gawker itself. All the other sites are innovative, sharp, have a focused point of voice but not too snarky. Gawker itself is too snarky for me to recommend to advertisers, too risky. They’re really bitchy. The other sites are bitchy too but with Gawker itself it feels like it’s bitchy without a reason.”

The Hogan case has shown we can’t escape our past, and I can’t escape Gawker.

Yeah, when your boss calls you “damaging,” and wants to “escape” you, you can probably quit. But it looks like he sent that after.

I’m not responding to anything else in your resignation letters, out of kindness. The sooner you can memory-hole those high-dudgeon, self-righteous, caterwauls of cat shit — I’m talking to you, Craggs; Read, you’re mostly fine — the better off you’ll be. Well, okay, just this one:

All I got at the end of the day was a workshopped email from Denton, asking me to stay on and help him unfuck the very thing he’d colluded with the partners to fuck up.

Oh, I get it. You’re a massive twat.

Yours in Christ,
Rebecca Schoenkopf,
Arbiter of Twats

[Gawker]

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  • ArgieBargie

    “Rebecca Schoenkopf, Arbiter of Twats.”

    Nice. Will you be moderating the first or the second GOP Presidential debate?

  • Msgr_Moment

    Ah. So this is why we’re not allowed to have comments.

  • Michael Smith

    I feel like I left a conference room meeting in an episode of The Newsroom.. still don’t really understand the rules of journalism, but I definitely feel fired up!

  • schmannity

    Gawker something something something something 1970s Faye Dunaway! Gotta download Chinatown.

    • Jaime Oria

      It’s a politix blog! SLAP! It’s a mommyblog! SLAP! It’s a politix blog! SLAP! It’s a mommyblog…

      • Spotts1701

        I thought it was a WAR!blog. Is that only during the holidays?

        • ThePuckStopsHere

          You got your mommyblog on my WARblog! You got your WARblog on my mommyblog…

        • Anarchy Pony

          Yes, the war on xmas.

      • SterWonk

        From Editrix’s first post (linked above):

        As to the rest of the site, all the bloggers you know and love will continue until I have run it into the ground and can’t afford to pay them anymore, which is part of my SECRET PLAN to turn Wonkette into the one thing I’ve always really wanted: a Mommy Blog.

        (emphasis mine)

        • rebecca

          RATS YOU HAVE DISCOVERED MY WICKED PLAN

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Curse you Red Baron!

          • Smibo

            Too cool! Let’s watch while Gawker self-immolates, then we can swoop in like a raptor and buy the name. Then we can position Gawker as the vile snark mob, Wonkette as the mommy blog, and franchise out that whole “recipe hub” thing.

            Win/win/win!

            P.S: No, Rebecca, I won’t be your “Chief Strategy Officer” (wtf is that?), but I’d be happy to serve as a highly-paid consultant and occasional snark contributor. Just sayin’.

          • Jaime Oria

            But as Chief Strategy Officer, you get to wear an awesome hat!

    • vivian

      Forget about it Jake… it’s tripe.

    • arundel

      That picture of Faye in Network is too awesome.

      And so is the post above by Rebecca, I agree with every word. So well done, I need a cigarette after reading it. It’s all too true.

  • Msgr_Moment

    So, has Trump asked Denton about naming rights yet?

  • Anarchy Pony

    Arbiter of twats, great title or greatest title?

    • kindness

      Does anyone REALLY want that job though? Might be fun for a bit then it would be endless twat hell.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Me: Journalism for $2000, Alex.

        Alex: And it’s the Daily Doubte

        Me: I’ll make it true Daily Double.

        Alex: It sounds like a dream job but maybe isn’t.

        Me: What is Arbiter of Twats?

        Alex: Correct!

        • William_C_Diaz

          Well, if you ar biting them, the owners get pissed….

          Have a great day!

          • Mehmeisterjr

            I have done a little research and determined that according to the Bible (1 Kings 3:16-28,) the first Arbiter of Twats was King Solomon. Oh, wait, that’s Arbiter of Tots!

          • vivian

            I heard he bit one in two!

          • Amy!

            Sounds like something from talk-like-a-pirate day. “Arrrr, bite ‘er twat!”

        • guppy06

          I thought they called those “gynecologists”…

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    All the upfists for the post tag.

  • kindness

    No more wire hangers for those Gawker putzs.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Man, I haven’t seen that much butthurt since the last Amateur Flogging Night at the Eagle.

    • Tio_Doidinho

      Amateurs should ALWAYS remember: pain without injury is all in the wrist.

  • Snarknado

    ::standing ovation::

    • toomanyrappers

      Spoiler: It’s a sled. ;)

      • Jaime Oria

        And he called it “Sleddy”.

  • Big Puppy

    Rebecca, you go girl! Wonkette would never post a piece like that under your administration. If I’m ever looking for a boss again, I’ll drop you a line.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Reminds me of the time Rebecca almost fired Kaili for green-lighting a lentil soup recipe . . .

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Look, if your Mommyblog doesn’t publish soup recipes, what kind of Mommyblog is it?

    • drbloor

      DIETARY FIBER LIBER–ER, LIBEL.

    • SterWonk

      And hey, were are our recipes, Fitzgerald? I haven’t seen one since February; the Recipe Hub grows thin…

  • Ricky Gay

    kaboom y’all

  • Jaime Oria

    Those Gawker folk seem nice.

  • ThePuckStopsHere

    A couple of weeks ago Deadspin (a Gawker joint which I visit for the sportsball but which for the past several months has pretty much just been posts about fistfights in the john at Safeco Field), crossposted the article in question. A couple of weeks ago Deadspin featured 10 minutes of video of some chick getting fingerbanged (is that one word or two?) at Fenway Park. I wonder if that’s what they mean by advertiser-friendly.

    • Snarknado

      Honestly my favorite bit of contextualizing isn’t a couple of weeks ago, but 18 months ago, when Gawker (along with Gawker sites Deadspin and Jezebel) joined in the tut-tutting Grantland for their piece outing that golf putter inventor lady as trans. Somehow the Gawker crowd understood *back then* why outing someone in a story of limited news value was deeply, deeply harmful but in their defense, that was someone else doing it so it’s totally different y’all.

      • ThePuckStopsHere

        I’d forgotten about that. The trick for me was picking the titillating parts of their articles from the information and or funny parts. If they’d have stuck with the funny they’d have been alright.

      • NationalGalleryofClipArt

        Dr V was not a doctor, but was a charlatan, & deserved no sympathy. But maybe they could have taken a different tack in the story & done it up as The Music Trans, starring Harriet (formerly Harold) Hill.

    • I didn’t realize Josh Duggar was a Red Sox fan.

    • Catstro

      They’ve fallen so far from Brett Favres dick pics. Which, incidentally, is how I became aware of the Gawker empire.

      I still read Deadspin for the Margary, but only for the Margary.

      • ThePuckStopsHere

        That pretty much nails it.

      • NationalGalleryofClipArt

        What about the Washingtonienne, which broke on Our Wonkette?

  • BloviateMe

    “…Gawker itself it feels like it’s bitchy without a reason.”

    So, that’s where my ex-wife ended up. Mystery solved.

  • blogslut

    Bless you, in a good way, not that passive-aggressive x-tian way.

  • Spotts1701

    Look, Craggs. Getting up on your high horse that is the First Amendment is all well and good when you haven’t committed fairly clear and actionable defamation and libel (as well as possibly being an accessory to a blackmail scheme).

    • weejee

      Blackmail isn’t protected by the First?

      • Amy!

        You can’t expect a simple editor to be aware of such legal nuances!

    • arundel

      Craggs and Read are unbelievable with their snitty high-horse flounce. Good, fuck off, nice they had not a hint of remorse or sympathy to the blackmailed guy whose life they possibly helped ruin. No, they’re the victims here. Spectacularly tone-deaf.

  • I almost peed my pants laughing at that sign off, Ms. Schoenkopf. (Which is a lot more fun than actually peeing your pants over some scary black person you just insulted by waving your KKK flag at him.)

  • Gawker’s post is about first amendment rights in the same way that carrying a fully automatic rifle aboard an airplane is about second amendment rights.

    • sw19womble

      NOT,K?

    • Or Gawker’s post is about first amendment rights in the same way not letting that sailor you picked up spend the night is about third amendment rights.

      • Beaumarchais?

        I have an extra bunk.

      • guppy06

        That only applies during times of peace, and clearly we’re in the middle of the War on Dry Spells!

  • weejee

    Major cloven up-hoofs! You da one Trix.

  • MsAnthropesMr

    One of the many this I don’t get is why Gawker has such a hard on for Conde Nast. And why an editor thought this was an actual story, I mean, this isn’t really even clickbait, particularly if when told someone is gay, the average reader goes,”who?” And, as Ms. Schoenkopf points out – when can an owner not decide what to publish? I mean, if Ms. Schoenkopf decided to cut the dick jokes, it’s her choice. We’d have to find somewhere else to go. In short it seems like everyone involved, except for the unfortunate outer, are a bunch a whiny titty babies.

    • weejee

      decided to cut the dick jokes

      Gasp. Could she do that?

      • Wait, is there no editorial firewall to prevent that?

      • Beaumarchais?

        She did it with those little white nearly-weightless spheres used in international sporting events at which the Chinese excel. And Coke™ bottles.

        • sw19womble

          “The Prisoner” LIBEL!!!!six!!!!!

        • TheBidenator

          Ah yes, used in that game that is so very like tennis only played on a table with tiny paddles and a tiny net….

      • sw19womble

        Will nobody think of the poor sideboob?!!!?!!

        • Vecciojohn

          Whatever happened to old Sideshow Boob?

          • cousin itt

            S/he is a GOP presidential candidate.

        • Historicat

          You guys are not spending enough time at Gone But Not Forgotten sister site HappyNiceTimePeople.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Dick jokes are part of our glorious Heritage, as witnessed by the flag picturing a coiled dick and the legend “Don’t Tread on My Dick (Jokes.)” Damned Yankee oppressors!

      • MsAnthropesMr

        Yes.

      • data_ninja

        A la Mel Brooks?

        • Playonwords

          Do you know why Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world? He found he could get round quicker by taking short cuts

      • Amy!

        Be thankful that it’s the jokes she’d be cutting, not the subjects of same.

  • bumfug

    Well it’s a sad day for journalism when we see how far Gawker has fallen since those glory days in 2010 when they were publishing their daring exposé of Republican wackaloon Christine O’Donnell’s pubic grooming habits.

    • anniegetyerfun

      That was the day I stopped reading. I honestly don’t know why I ever started, though.

      • AnneBoleyn

        If it wasn’t for Gawker, I’d never have known about Double Dick Dude.

        • anniegetyerfun

          I know I read about him somewhere else. The Guardian?

          • AnneBoleyn

            The Guardian (clutches pearls)????? I would never stoop to such utter tosh. Besides, Gawker had pictures. Very NSFW store in the back of my mind for later fantasizing pictures. The Guardian has, like, reporters and stuff. Ew.

    • Bitter Scribe

      I know, right? All that did was inspire sympathy for O’Donnell, which I didn’t think was possible.

  • sw19womble

    Say, you know what other website is innovative, sharp, has a focussed point of voice but isn’t too snarky?

    • Jaime Oria

      Stormfront?

      • Stormfront is very focused. But it is not innovative, sharp, nor does it have a voice that sounds more intelligent than a two year old having a temper tantrum.

    • Pornhub?

      • Jaime Oria

        And they allow comments! Or so I’m told by a friend…

        • They certainly allow upfisting.

          • vivian

            But then they out you for it.

      • Beaumarchais?

        Is that for car fetishists?

        • Jaime Oria

          I’ll just leave this here –

        • drbloor

          Should be its own category any day now.

    • JMPesq

      Geocities?

    • Tracy

      Prodigy?

      • data_ninja

        I’ll see your Prodigy and raise you a CompuServe!

    • sw19womble

      Boy Scouts of America?

    • toomanyrappers

      2girls1cup?

    • AnneBoleyn

      Fleshbot!

      • NationalGalleryofClipArt

        Like Wonkette, it split with Gawker.

    • Wombat

      Logical fallacy referee?

      http://imgur.com/a/QDbyt#11

  • Thaumaturgist

    I liked the “Yours in Christ” part. You a reforming nun?

    • vivian

      I believe she is a forming renun.

      • SterWonk

        A few months ago, she was forming a potential future nun?

  • anniegetyerfun

    Wait a second – what kind of sandwich?

    • sw19womble

      If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.

  • willi0000000

    thank you, Ms. Schoenkopf.

    well said!

  • “From recent research, it is clear that the Gawker brand, for both flagship website and the company, is both confusing and damaging.”

    Say, you know who and/or what else is both confusing and damaging?

    • Donald Trump and the rest of his racist band of presidential wannabes?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        My very first thought was of The Donald.

    • BloviateMe

      The aforementioned upfisting?

    • sw19womble

      an addiction to nitrous oxide?

    • gay reparative therapy? (yeah, I don’t know exactly how to spell it, and frankly it isn’t worth looking up.)

    • Jaime Oria

      A man in the depths of an ether binge?

    • sw19womble

      an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Fox. And Friends.

    • BloviateMe

      Mrs. Bloviate’s onion ring farts. Final answer.

    • data_ninja

      Removing a paper jam on a copy machine?

    • Spotts1701

      Vacuum-sealed packaging?

    • Wombat

      English “bacon?”

      • Playonwords

        American “bacon” – There is more to life than overcooked streaky bacon re-formed from meat scraps.

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          Yeah, this. American bacon is fucked-up bullshit.

        • Wombat

          Imma say the same thing to you that my hairdresser said to me when I asked to be a ginger (and for the same reasons, namely wrongness): Oh, honey. No.

    • Playonwords

      Donald “Baldy” Trump?

    • riledupone

      Deep-fried beer.

  • memzilla

    One of the most important things I learned on the way to my twenties was that just because a thought congealed in my brainpan did not mean I had to let it out of my mouth-hole. As soon as I acted on that, my success with teh wimmenz and jerbs went way up.

    And as Calvin Coolidge once said: “No man ever listened himself out of a job.”

    • Me not sure

      I’m sorry, did you say something?

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Free Republic?

  • Mr Corrections

    So apparently one of the resigning editors paid for a $400 meal on the company credit card, and added a $150 tip, right before he resigned:

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/tommy-craggs-gawker-meal-expense

    Always classy to do something like that.

    • bumfug

      $400 meal in NYC? Must have been at a food truck.

      • SnarkOff

        …for one.

      • Spotts1701

        Isn’t that the price of a dog and a beer at Yankee Stadium?

        • That is the price according to Chris Christie’s expense account anyway.

    • rebecca

      See, now that’s a move I can actually get behind!

      • Mr Corrections

        Nothing will ever top one of my co-workers, who – when he left – dropped his pants and ran down the corridor rubbing his naked ass on the office windows.

        Here is the best part, though: he got hired back.

        • rebecca

          HOORAY!

          • Mr Corrections

            I’m only sad that I missed an opportunity to say “Speaking of getting behind” at the start of that post.

          • scrutatrix

            L’esprit de l’escalier.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Well I have to admit that bareassed window rubbing is a rare job skill.

  • TheBidenator

    Well uhm that’s the first time I’ve seen in the modern era dumb editors try to defend content that clearly constitutes malice toward a private figure as being protected by the first Amendment….I have a tiny violin for you guys.

    • clubseal

      If that’s true, then you are obligated to teach tiny hamster to play it.

  • Charles Cates

    Nice to see the return of karma, even if in small amounts.

    How’s that babby doing, Editrix???

    • rebecca

      she’s smiling when she’s not screaming our heads off. at the moment, she’s PISSED.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Someone failed to sign the lease for the Jag in 16 years, apparently…

      • riledupone

        Gee, where she’d get that from? Cute babby noises to Donna Rose, stealer of vile, snarky little hearts.

  • Zippy

    Like I said the other day when the shit was mid-fan, a labor contract is not a suicide pact. Your boss is still your boss and he’s not obligated to sink the whole freaking ship just to please your sense of journalistic integrity. Besides, if you idjits had done your jobs as editors, they wouldn’t have needed to take such an extraordinary and unprecedented step. And people might have just a smidge more sympathy with you if you weren’t being so damned selective with that self righteous “integrity”, because you showed zero integrity when you allowed that hit piece to run and skewered some poor nobody for the lulz. Last I checked, integrity doesn’t involve aiding some nutcase blackmailer, but you had no problem bending that rule then.

    • Spotts1701

      The people trying to defend these two are something else – they seem to boil it down to:
      – It’s public interest because a member of the “oligarchy” refused to help a Poor
      – Anyone who wields any amount of tangible power deserves to be outed, scrutinized and embarrassed because if they didn’t want that, they shouldn’t be rich and powerful
      – The story is true, and when the guy doesn’t sue we’ll be vindicated
      – All the people supporting management are just trolls from the competitor making Gawker look bad
      Seriously, with friends like these who the hell needs enemies?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The way I understand this thing, the blackmailer asked for help from the blackmailee, who said that he could not give that help because he had no way to do it, offered to pay the guy anyway without the service being rendered, and so the blackmailer (and the idiots at Gawker) went forward to out the guy anyway. The guy was operating honorably, and that was apparently not a reason to avoid outing him.

      • Zippy

        – It’s not public interest just because someone refused (or more accurately, wasn’t even in a position) to help someone. People in power tell other people no every single day.
        – It’s not a crime to be successful, or even rich. The people yelling ‘hang the rich’ are the idjits who give any of us concerned with income inequality a bad name.
        -We don’t even know if the story is true. He denies it and the only side we’ve heard is the incoherent ramblings of an admitted blackmailer. Even his version is crazy. The fact that this guy may just let this all go away rather than sue means nothing. There are all kinds of reasons not to pursue, first and foremost obviously being not wanting to put your family through more of this shit.
        -Many of the people piling on are in fact trolling from Reddit. But a great many of them are people whose names I’ve seen commenting there for years. When it’s trending roughly 99-1 against publishing that shit story, it’s a bit dishonest to try to dismiss them all as outsiders. In fact, my guess is that the opposite is true. The only ones defending this crap are likely writer/editor sock puppets.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Rebecca, one of the reasons I like this site so much (quite apart from the non-existent comments section; you should really look into allowing them, they might add value to the site) is that your writing always brings a smile to my face, even on non gloriously sunny days like today in my neck of the woods.

    Also, too, upfists.

  • Bitter Scribe

    However whiny those editors were, at least give them credit for quitting. It’s not like Jim DeRogatis at Rolling Stone bitching to another publication what a no-taste shit Jann Wenner was for spiking his review of Hootie and the Blowfish, and then expecting Wenner to go on signing his checks.

    • Catstro

      There was a kerfuffle over a Hootie and the Blowfish review? I have just enough of a buzz to spend the next 30 minutes looking into that.

    • James Donnaught

      Maybe, but who the hell picks such a crappy hill to die on? It’s not as if their shocking expose of the senior senator from Jesustan got spiked.

  • vivian

    This ranks among the finest posts I’ve come across, in that it successfully conveys a coherent opinion and does so with an appropriate amount of passion and snark. 10/10 Good work!

    • Jaime Oria

      What this guy wrote –

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Thanks Ms. Schoenkopf.
    I used to browse Gawker once or twice a week. Did these guys really think they could over-ride the owner. They would even get fired at TMZ for crap like this.

  • AnneBoleyn

    Oh my dog I just came over here to see if you guys picked up the story (derp, of course you did). The whole post announcing Craggs’ and Read’s resignation is one giant tone-deaf WTF kind of post all “whaaaaaaaa, they pulled our glorious story we’re gonna QUIT SO THERE NANER NANER”. I’m totally smh over these fucking idiots. And they get to walk away whilst Nick & Co are left holding the soon-to-be-sued-into-oblivion bag. If they do go belly up, can you guys hire Caity, plllleeeeeeeeeeease? I’ll be your best friend I swear!!!!!!!!!

    • SnarkOff

      Don’t cry for Nick Denton.

      • AnneBoleyn

        It was allergies, I swear.

    • rebecca

      Caity never responded to my plea to accept so many millions of whore diamonds for her work. if I ever have actual *money* to pay her, I will hire her in an instant.

      • Zippy

        Caity or Adam…

      • AnneBoleyn

        We’re of one mind then. She’s a gem.

        Can I have a couple of those whore diamonds? My tiara has been looking a little sad lately.

  • Joshua Norton

    I’m still at a loss as to why they printed that. It’s like they’re trying to revive some kind of “Children’s Hour” type of BS.

  • SnarkOff

    You know what really grinds my gears? I know about 100 MSM reporters and editors over the age of 40 who have been laid off over the past five years, to make room for dumb, cheap millennials with no experience beyond the knowledge of what the letters in “CMS” stand for. You know what journalism needs? ADULTS WITH FUCKING JOURNALISM CRED.

    • bluicebank

      That shit started in the ’80s when they brought in the Yuppies. Or as one scribe put it, brought in a city editor who’s seen more beats go dark than jumped a fence in the dark for a story.

      • cousin itt

        Lou Grant libel.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      When the short-term beancounters took over, that’s when the rot set in.

    • cousin itt

      It happened to my brother in video production a few years ago and this year with myself thanks to corporate education “reformers” like Bill Gates and the Walton clan. The millennials aren’t all dumb, that would be unfair. Some are just clueless. And lacking any sense of history. Or perspective. Or humanistic values.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “Lacking a sense of history” seems to be a very common trait in this country. The entire “let’s toss out these fuddy-duddy financial rules” thing that we did in the 90’s failed to comprehend that the “fuddy-duddy” rules were there for a REASON. Because some people cannot be trusted around other people’s money.

        • clubseal

          Yes, let’s not forget that the lack of historical knowledge is an epidemic, and not just for the young ‘uns.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Yup, the young ‘uns are rank amateurs at forgetting the past next to boomers, and I be a boomer who decries people who forget history.

          • richardgrabman

            And I write and pushing history.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      ADULTS WITH FUCKING JOURNALISM CRED.

      Grups cost money, though. They have all these expectations and shit. And families. Don’t forget the friggin’ families. Anyway, that’s not where American capitalism is headed these days. Where are they headed, you ask? Off a fucking cliff is where. The pile of bodies at the bottom will cushion the impact. They hope.

      • richardgrabman

        Would any of us adults spend 500+ bucks for … LUNCH?

        • James Donnaught

          Brunch, actually. :-o

  • JBenningfield

    Bad-ass!

  • drbloor

    This little thought experiment on the First Amendment is going to look great on Cragg’s and Read’s resumes.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I’m sure it won’t hinder them if they look for a new gig in the Village, just so long as they swear to hold to The Narrative, and defer to those senior to them at the cocktail weenie chafing dish.

  • bluicebank

    “I’m not the first person to quit a journalism job for the sacred principle of telling the publishers to go fuck themselves.”

    Ah, a kindred spirit! When done well, it’s because the publisher is the fucker, not you, and your fellow word smithies do it en masse. And the ship sinks soon after.

  • PTK65

    I hope this final lawsuit destroys gawker for good.

  • ferrarimanf355

    Can someone save Jalopnik, at least, once Gawker goes under?

    • Biff52

      That’s the only part of the “empire” I pay attention to anymore.

  • Joshua Norton

    I usually do a quick walk thru at Gawker after Wonkette is put to be for the night. Some of their stuff is interesting, but most of their commenters are tiresome finger-wagging scolds who are in a perpetual state of indignation over whatever has been written. It gets real old, real fast.

    • rebecca

      I often enjoy Gawker! (I’ve yet to actually read a 500 Days of Kristen TVperson.) But these boys are giving me a headache.

      • Zippy

        nobody reads 500 days

        • shelwood

          I do! Every day! It’s basically a chat room at this point. It’s actually pretty amusing.

          • Zippy

            So you’re that person keeping it alive…

          • shelwood

            There are actually a few dozen regular posters, but I’m sure they’d keep doing it even with no one there. It’s a thought experiment, after all.

    • I used to glance at it for the comments, but they killed that when they first ignored to violent gif problem and then claimed to solve it by banishing everyone except a small cadre of trolls and elite posters to the greys.

  • PTK65

    Wait … the two “editors” resigned because someone would not let them run this “story”? What fucking assholes

    • Takoma DC

      Perhaps they were “fired”?

  • Hemp Dogbane

    That was refreshing, but I’m easily amused today.

    • SterWonk

      “even better than the post on hemorrhoids.”

      I’m not sure that’s humanly possible; that post was Trix’s magnum opus.

      • Dee Andee

        ROFL! That was the first post I read on here. I was dying. Then I read a couple more, and knew I was home. :)

  • PattyCake

    You go, Rebecca. (Is it just me, or does Faye look a lot like “Atlantic City”-era Susan Sarandon?”

  • Bill Slider

    Yours in Christ is my favorite part when you use it to close. I know you are really pissed, and I can only imagine the look in your eyes. Of course you are correct. But you know that. One day, you will rule the world of snark, if you don’t already. Your humble servants applaud you, and your family.

  • Beowoof14

    Oh you know guys, you may want editorial independence, but that is always limited by the people who sign the checks. And if you’re going after someone who is hiding in the closet when did it become your job to out him.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      There’s this thing about dragging people out of the closet. If they’re fundie assholes who are preaching about how terrible the ghey is, but they’re hiring rent boys and snorting meth off the well-muscled asses of the rent boys on their off days, well, you’ve got a case. But that’s not the case here. The guy’s major sin, apparently, was being an executive at another media outfit that the Gawker guys were having a feud with. His extracurricular activities provided a convenient excuse to strike a blow in the feud.

      • SterWonk

        That’s called the Frank Rule:

        Frank’s stance on outing gay Republicans has been called the “Frank Rule” whereby a closeted person who uses her or his power, position, or notoriety to hurt LGBT people can be outed.[75] The issue became relevant during the Mark Foley scandal of 2006, during which Frank clarified his position on HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher: “I think there’s a right to privacy. But the right to privacy should not be a right to hypocrisy. And people who want to demonize other people shouldn’t then be able to go home and close the door and do it themselves.”[76]

      • Takoma DC

        Does Conde Nast support gay rights?

      • There are comments over at Gawker to the effect that if you’re rich enough and powerful enough, that’s enough – no sin is private. This is how I know I’ll be sent to a re-education camp pretty soon after the revolution, because I think possibly some sins are private, even for at least some of the rich and powerful, and I’m not sure a broad definition of “rich and powerful” is enough of a basis for exposing people.

    • jqheywood

      Freedom of the press is for them that own the presses…

      • Beowoof14

        Unfortunately it’s true now more than ever in America. 6 companies control 90% of the media in this country. And the bullshit we are being fed is obvious.

  • Vecciojohn

    Journalistic ethics: another one for the oxymoron collection.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Like military intelligence, corporate responsibility, and my favorite, compassionate conservatism.

    • proudgrampa

      Don’t forget “satirical conservative!”

  • AzertyQwerty

    Am I the only one here who sees a sort of an inconsistency in the tone used toward the doxxee in this story and the potential doxxees in this other story also posted just today? http://wonkette.com/591555/if-youre-one-of-ashley-madisons-40-million-gross-cheating-whores-we-have-bad-news

    …no? Just me? Carry on then. By all means.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Just you. The Ashley Madison thing was “we’ll keep your info secure!” and then they didn’t bother to do that very well.

      • AzertyQwerty

        You’re misunderstanding me. Compare how Rebecca talks about the victim to how Evan talks about the victims. They’re both in the “people-who-tried-to-cheat-on-their-spouses” category, no? Granted this dude was publicly and singly shamed, but that’s a difference of degree, not a difference of kind.

        • BloviateMe

          I get what you are going for here. I don’t know that I can add anything unbiased to the conversation. As someone who was cheated on by his wife, I don’t know that I could be unbiased if I tried. You want to sleep around, risking disease, obsessive lovers, etc, then have at it, but have the decency to divorce first, instead of potentially bringing that shit home to an unknowing and likely unwilling third party in your trysts. At the very least, TELL your partner you want to experiment, and let THEM also make their choice, whether they are OK with an open relationship or not. It’s not all about you, you self-centered fucks.

          While I get why the Gawker boys did wrong, fuck the cheaters too. I have zero fucks to give about them, quite honestly.

          • shelwood

            I was very amused when one of the Gawker commenters tried to argue that this was definitely this guy’s first and only attempt to step out on his marriage. Yes, a guy who wants to experiment with DL cheating is going to spend $5000 to fly a porn star in to initiate him into extramarital love. Total rookie move.

          • Zippy

            I dunno. Considering all the mistakes he made and the fact he didn’t follow through, it’s possible it was his first time. I’d think that someone more experienced at this would have the connections not to hook up with a random psycho and probably wouldn’t feel the need to spend all that money and go halfway across the country.

            (Then again, I’d assume that Spitzer could have managed to get his strange on without spending $5000 a pop- maybe I just don’t appreciate how easy it is for guys like that to throw money around)

          • shelwood

            I learned from arguing with that guy that there are “agencies” that hook guys up with these ex-porn dudes, so he maybe went through that (and must have chosen this guy specifically because he liked what he saw in the movies). I just think if you’re wanting some strange, paying $5K and importing it from out of state on your very first go has to be kind of an outlier, especially when you live in a major city with plenty of strange to be had. And if he did just have to have this one particular porn guy, then it’s odd he didn’t follow through, if this was some compelling specific thing, you know?

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            That’s my take on it – if a straight guy had a thing for his favorite porn star, and he had the money and connections to actually set something up, we might seriously question his judgment but I doubt anybody would find it unfathomable.

          • shelwood

            But I also doubt anyone would say, “Oh, I am certain this is the very first time he ever attempted to cheat on his wife.”

          • actor212

            Just the opposite: Spitzer needed to use those accommodations precisely because they promised discretion, something he couldn’t be assured of by walking into a bar and saying “HEY! I am the governor of the largest state in the Northeast! Kneel for your meal!”

            If you recall, it was only when he tried to get a refund that things spun out of his control.

          • lukewarm

            We don’t actually know that he didn’t have an arrangement with his wife, do we? I thought that was part of the problem.

          • Zippy

            No, it could be an open marriage

          • shelwood

            It’s never an open marriage.

          • BloviateMe

            That’s a valid point. I admit the blackmail aspect had me thinking this was a privately secured operation. I still think is was, TBH, but I could be wrong.

          • Zippy

            Even if he and his wife were OK with it, it still could have been blackmail material, especially with teh ghey angle

          • BloviateMe

            There’s a weird irony, for me, that you are replying on this topic, as I thought about using your “this is not a hill I want to die on” argument for defending a supposed cheater against Gawker.

            In any case, I admit that I assumed they didn’t have an open relationship. Mea culpa.

          • Zippy

            I honestly don’t know their situation. My main point was that it could still prove to be blackmail material even if the wife was OK with it- being outed may have consequences elsewhere, especially if it involves an escort. I’m not defending the guy’s marital choices (to the extent I even know them), my gripe with Gawker is that it’s not their place to do what they did. I personally don’t approve of infidelity, but I’m of the school of thought to MYOB if someone I know cheats, unless there are some serious issues that justify my sticking my nose in. And I’m having a real hard time thinking of any circumstances where sticking my nose in would involve publishing for the whole world to read it so that the spouse and everyone else find out when it hit the news. If he was cheating on her, regardless what else happens he’s going to have to deal with that, but that sort of thing shouldn’t be a spectator sport.

          • Takoma DC

            Agree with you completely. I don’t really give a shit about the wealthy bored Conde Nast bicurious creep. I do feel sorry for the kids though.

          • actor212

            Try this on for size:

            The Gawker story was written only because of Geithner. The Ashley Madison story was written because, yes, cybersecurity is an illusion.

            In neither story did Wonkette endorse or cheer on outting the actual victims of the crime, but focused instead on the ramification and repercussions of the events as they unfold. In fact, reading Evan’s piece, I find no evidence of “HAHA! YOU’VE BEEN SERVED!” towards the victims, except for one or two instances of clearly sardonic hardball with some wordplay.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Well, the Ashley Madison folks volunteered all that info as part of getting in on all that “YOLO and have an affair!” action. And assumed that the info would be put in an inviolable lock box. NOW all the sudden it’s out there that they have Ashley Madison transactions in their checkered recent past. Evan’s tone is more of the “well, gosh, what did you expect?” sort of thing, while the Gawker case is different, in that the individual did nothing, apparently, but be an executive for Conde Nast, the archnemesis of Gawker. He didn’t even follow through on the deed contracted for, from my understanding.

          Bottom line: once it’s on the ‘tubes (or the cloud…cripes, I hate that term, it’s all marketdroid BS for “someone elses’ hard drive”), its out of your control. You have to trust someone else to treat it as confidential as you do, and sometimes that trust is misplaced.

    • rebecca

      it’s a good question, and I don’t particularly know the answer. but thank you for asking!

    • rebecca

      So! I have actually gone back and read it now. The answer is, “they haven’t actually been doxed,” and if they were, we would only write about them if they were Duggars. So sure, we had a hilarious tone because Evan is hilarious, but we weren’t actually in favor of outing them.

      • The more analogous situation would be if Wonkette reported the names of people who use “a marital dating site we’ll call ‘Ryan'” who had been threatened by “Ryan” with disclosure. Although the outing aspect of Gawker’s story bugs me, what bothers me much more is the apparent participation in extortion/blackmail.

        Edited to add: which was probably meant to be a reply to something else somewhere else in this thread.

  • Vecciojohn

    Now go away, or she will taunt you again!

  • FukuiSanYesOta

    Awesome, rebecca. Well said.

  • Gawker, the Donald Trump of pop-pol blogs.

  • The last remaining question given Cragg’s impressive freak out is, will he resurface at WND, Breitbart, or Chuckie Johnson’s butthurt, outrage site?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      WND or Breitbart is certainly a possibility, as they have some revenue streams from which he can slake his thirst. Chuckie Johnson, OTOH, probably is unwilling to share either the lucre or the spotlight.

      • Amy!

        Also, Chuck doesn’t need an editor. Obviously. Just ask him!

        Come to think of it, Craggs would fit there perfectly. He’s not an editor.

      • H0mer0

        Di’int Newell end up at Reason or similar?

        • rebecca

          Salon. Equally as annoying, from a whole different angle.

          • H0mer0

            mebbe I was thinking of Ken Layne.

  • Helena Handbag

    I only have two things to say at this moment.
    1. Faye Dunaway was heaven on earth and I would eat her with a spoon if I could
    &
    2. Bit of advice for Shypixel: do not ever, and I repeat EVAH, piss off this hellchick you are married to. She is awesome and she is your overlordess. Second only to the wain what spawned from yer loins.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      My advice is to have video capture fully online and available when Donna Rose hits the terrible threes, and starts saying “no” to everything. This is when you did what a friend of mine in college did: ask her questions like “Do you want a sports car for your 16th birthday?” She will of course answer “NO!” and it’s of vital importance that you retain the evidence when the 16th birthday arrives, which I alluded to in my earlier comment to ‘Trix.

      • Helena Handbag

        I don’t know why (two glasses of wine) I am reminded of this right now and it’s only tangentially related to your comment but at PUBLIX yesterday (yes, THAT store) I overheard a typical, sadly all too typical, mother of today asking her 4 year old to make all the grocery shopping decisions. “Do you want the Fuckberry froot rollups or the Assapple froot rollups? Do you want the Jiff peanut butter or the PeterfuckingPan? I always want to slap these women. Am I so wrong? Also, I am a mother and qualified beyong fucking belief to make these judgements. There.

        • Bitter Scribe

          Once I was in a grocery checkout line, and behind me was a mother with her son, who looked to be about 2. The kid was just starting to talk, but could he ever talk.

          I unloaded a bag of tortilla chips onto the belt. He pointed at it and said to his mom, “I want dat.”

          “You shouldn’t,” I told him. “It’s not good for you.”

          “It’s yummy,” he said.

          “Yes, it is,” I told him. “And my mommy isn’t around to stop me from eating them. But yours is.”

          The kid thought about that, looked at the chips, at me, at his mom, then pointed at me and said, “I wanna go wif him.”

          We all broke up, including the cashier.

          • H0mer0

            Thanks a lot! Now we have strangers offering chips in addition to candy, ice cream and other tasty treats to children!
            My offspring were “DD” and as I might have mentioned here, one of them was faking it for the attention that he saw his brother get. His brother had and still has texture and sensory issues. After discussing the “clusterf—” of textures with a patient who had a similar issue with tomatoes, I suddenly realized why tomatoes might pose such a “threat” to “orally defensive” children (being unable to predict whether contact with said object would produce a thin liquid, a slime, a seed, a smooth thin skin or a spongy or grainy texture.) My son was still appreciative of the understanding I offered to him of this tomato-phobia 14-15 years too late. It is possible that the parent offering such choices to a toddler is hoping to avoid such a scene, if they haven’t caught on to what they perceived was arbitrary decision-making on the part of their child. I also watched my dad foist an avocado upon a brother with similar sensory issues back in the day, thinking that eventually he would come to like it (he still doesn’t.)

        • OneDemin EOr

          You are not wrong. Such parents are insufferable. They are incapable of realizing kids do not give a fuck about that shit, nor should they have to. Christ, be the adult!

        • anniegetyerfun

          It’s called Love and Logic. The idea is that you let the kid decide a bunch of inconsequential shit that don’t care one way or another about, and then when they whine about other stuff, you say: Mommy let you choose all the groceries. Now it’s Mommy’s turn to make a decision.

          Note: This method only works on dumb kids.

          • James Donnaught

            “Mommy’s turn to make a decision” might be what the Gawker editors needed to hear.

  • Playonwords

    Thanks for this. BTW I thought you were the Gauleiter of Twats

  • b-rar

    Why is “Former cabinet secretary’s brother offers to use his influence with the Obama administration on behalf of his hooker” not newsworthy? So what if some rich creep gets outed in the process of reporting that?

    • Joshua Norton

      Mainly because that is SO not what happened!

      • b-rar

        No? Maybe we read different articles. I saw a screenshot of him promising to get the escort’s HUD case in front of high-ranking officials in the administration. That to me blows up the whole “private citizen” angle.

        • Joshua Norton

          No. He got weirded out when the trick started pushing him to get involved after he discovered who his date really was. The brother ended up cancelling the whole thing.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Exactly. He told the guy upfront that he could not help with that particular issue, and the guy went nuts…and to Gawker.

          • H0mer0

            or else, the commercial sex worker might have a certain relationship to the writers who were especially butthurt over this “editorial overreach” (because nothing strengthens first amendment rights like crying movie at a crowded firehouse or having a “mock the prophet” contest “judged” by wingnuts who don’t understand humor or irony.)

    • Takoma DC

      Agree. There’s more than journalistic ethics going on here.

  • Redgyal

    Wait….Trigg is retarded???

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The entire Trigg thing is one of the issues I had with Our Sarah from day one: stop using your developmentally disabled kid as a campaign prop if you don’t want people to snark on him. You’ve opened the door, and you had every opportunity not to, but apparently you didn’t do a cost/benefit analysis when you decided to put your kid out in public like that.

      • malsperanza

        True enough, but it still behooves decent people not to go there.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Oh, I agree with you…the kid didn’t ask to be paraded around.

          • Absolutely. Think of how hard it is to be up there on stage with a complete moron, if it is your mother.

      • Takoma DC

        GOP ladies don’t understand why getting pregnant at 40+ with their scrambly old eggs is not part of God’s plan from his “be fruitful and multiply” campaign.

        • rebecca

          ME LIBEL!!!!

    • Thomas Mc

      Well he does take after Sarah.

  • AND THIS ALSO HAPPENED TOO:

    March of the KKK with Farty Sousaphone Accompaniment

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rs4P1kKK-5k

    If you look closely you’ll notice several of the marchers get ‘in step’ with the music.

    • BloviateMe

      That is some high level trolling right there.

      I belly laughed. Thank you.

      • Dave

        It has been a good day for snark.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I like that little “Ride of the Valkyries” interlude.

    • Vienna Woods

      Nice line: “This is what stupid looks like.”

    • LesBontemps

      Hooray, snarky sousaphone is a thing!

  • ganmerlad

    As a parting gift, Craggs had a *really* expensive lunch on his Gawker Amex today and instagramed the receipt. I guess taking the high road was never gonna happen.
    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/tommy-craggs-gawker-meal-expense

    https://igcdn-photos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t51.2885-15/11349190_912833528796520_276207370_n.jpg

    • David Ferguson

      Mmmm. Smell the class.

    • Amy!

      That’s a 37.5% tip. Is that a thing? I usually tip well, but … dayum.

      • nmmagyar

        I tip very well on a company card (even better than I usually tip, and I used to be a waiter)

        • Dee Andee

          Nothing like former wait staff for an excellent tip! :)

          • jmk

            Hellz yeah. I tip 25% for even barely-adequate service. I’ve had more than my fair share of bad days waiting tables.

      • mmeetoilenoir

        I got a more than 100% tip on a $100 tab recently, and 30%+ tips a few times a week! Yaaaay, serving!

        • Mayday!

          I’m glad for you, yay. Having served in the past I’m a dedicated 25% tipper, myself. When you’re out of the kitchen-to-table-and-back-again business, pay it forward.

      • Jukesgrrl

        I used to tip that much when it was the money of the Fortune 100 I worked for. It’s called “desperately trying to close the gap between rich and poor.”

      • actor212

        Hey, he ain’t paying.

    • shelwood

      Nice tip. Guess they can just deduct $400 from his severance.

    • Takoma DC

      Well he certainly knows how to tip for good “service”.

    • James Donnaught

      At 11:05 AM? That’s a lot of scrambled eggs.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Must have gone heavy on the trufles.

      • actor212

        This is Noo Yawk. We drink early. And often.

        But mostly early. I’m betting Balthazar is short a bottle or two of Dom Perignon.

        • ganmerlad

          They have a selection of $300 champagnes at Balthazar, that’s definitely what comprised the “screw you” course of the meal.

    • jmk

      I’m happy for 145 Brian The Server.

      • actor212

        He comes from a long line of Brian the Servers, a reputable house from Scotland, second in age only to Robert the Bruce’s lineage.

  • David Ferguson

    I’m just frankly amazed at their chutzpah. Even as advertisers run from them, these two stunods are painting their faces blue with highlighter pens like ‘Braveheart’ and jumping up in their cubicles in their skinny-fit chinos, shouting, “WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SHIT THE BED AND ROLL IN IT!! NO MAN IS FREE UNLESS HE CAN LIBEL WITH INPUNITY!!”

  • Land Shark

    The Yiddish language has such fine words … words that need no explanation or definition for those who are not Yiddish speakers to understand. Schmuck. Schlemiel.

    Though, I would have chosen PUTZ as the word to describe those Gawker editors.

  • proudgrampa

    Rebecca, may you be touched by his Noodly Appendage. BTW, how is Trixel? She is really a cutie!

  • Joe Roberts

    Dear heavens, that was great.

  • Ilgattomorte

    The importance of this issue is being lost simply because of the vapid dickishness of the content. Yes, we all agree that the article was written by a twat-monkey who attacked a non-public figure with a piece that was inherently wrong, totally unnecessary and possibly evil, but is that the important thing?

    No! The important thing is editorial independence, not fair and reasonable reporting. Where would we be if back, when this country was founded, the press was not able to report about Ben Franklin’s lady-boy fetish? Where would we be today if Jefferson’s battle with bulimia was kept secret from the public? Would you want to live in a country where we, as a nation, could not explore the George/Georgina Washington dilema? I say no!

    We need to support these brave editors for standing up to the man and say, “Yes! We need to know more about Kim Kardashian’s boobs”. We need to chant, “Yes! We want to know who is and who is not gay.”, and most importantly, “Yes! We want dirt on people who have no bearing on our lives”. We need this because, more than anything else, it’s the American way.

    (A side note. I know you’re a new mommy now, but I love when you can find time to post. Damn girl, you can write.)

    • Zippy

      I thought it was Kim K’s ass we were all supposed to be fascinated with

      • Ilgattomorte

        My mistake.

        • Zippy

          don’t feel bad- I find nothing about her fascinating

          • H0mer0

            in some of the advertisements, it (KimKay’s arse) HAS lost its fascination. I have a grudging respect–no, respect isn’t the word….uh, maybe penisenvy? nawh, maybe just a grudging acknowledgement of one who makes a well compensated “ars” out of selling their “arse”

            I gotta go to bed on my mattress reeking of cat piss after a two week vacay on the opposite coast (he (the cat) appears to have used my bed as a litter box for the entire two weeks) My right hand is paining me after draining the scalding pasghetti water in an attempt to give my kids their first “meal” since this morning.

            Good on Trixie for this post. I too had to buy my own job after the a-hoe sexist boss “severed our business relationship.” It’s entirely possible that the motivation for outing an innocent might have something to do with business related grudge with exposed media exec.

          • Vienna Woods

            The cat pee issue: pour vinegar on the mattress, and let it dry. The vinegar neutralizes the ammonia. Then rub in some baking soda, sprinkle with hydrogen peroxide, let dry, vacuum. This does work. (although after re-reading, if it was for two weeks- hmmm)

          • H0mer0

            I’LL DO IT! (Beats throwing out a mattress, for now.)

    • Amy!

      Chant with me now!

      TMZ! TMI! TMZ! TMI!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Finally, someone who has cut to the core of this issue! People who are of no interest whatsoever revealing details which are none of my business about people who I have never heard of and, with any luck, I will never hear of. And those who delivered this scoop, in the process, screwed their former employer out of a biggggg dinner tab.

      In other words, journamalism in the post-Murdoch era.

      Hey have you seen the film of QE2 making fun of the Nazi salute at age 7? Thanks, Rupes! Class act.

  • WJS

    I’d say there’s more going on than the loss of these two editors; nobody really seems to be posting on Gawker.

    • YEVGENYTHERASKOLNIK

      But the other sites are chugging along. Funny, that.

    • actor212

      There could be an editorial lockdown to review everything in the hopper. Or they’re all just sober for the first time in years.

  • real_piewacket

    Well said. I love people taking the supposed high road for journalistic freedom when the damn story had no journalistic value at all. None. Absolutely zero.

  • NationalGalleryofClipArt

    Anyway, what is Jack Steuf up to? & is Riley Waggaman along for the ride?

    • Wait, was Intern Riley involved in the naliP girT debacle? I thought he just got his balls fondled by now-dead Breitbart.

      • NationalGalleryofClipArt

        Nah. I was just riffing on former staff. But, I will say, there is no truth to the rumor that Steuf, Waggaman, & Megan Carpentier are doing a Three’s Company inspired run of episodic comedy on a personal YouTube channel.

  • What’s it

    Sounds like a job is opening up -Editor, hmm.., I might submit my résumé.

  • Cuberly
  • you sound like whiny-ass millennial titty babies. The only thing missing is your mom complaining to the board on your behalf.

    Eye heart you, Trixie.

  • My least favorite part of this is it puts us on the side of Nick Denton, a terrible human being who only gets on his high-horse about this shit when it bites him in the ass.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    So, where’s the sex in the story? Gory crime? Political malfeasance? I’m sorry. How am I supposed to get all outraged and shit? I need chips.

    • actor212

      Oh come on…there was a Fedex receipt, surely that raised a little bile.

  • Walter Wellstone

    What kind of sandwich?

    • sundaytrucker

      Now THAT’S real journalism.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Applauds!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      A sammich. On wry.

  • Emcee Fravel

    Rebecca, love you gurl.

    J. Christ

    • Unforgotten

      Me too!!!!!
      PS: That Cragg dude is what, 6 MONTHS old? Grow the fuck up loser!!!!

  • Alex Grey

    What Gawker’s status on FB should be…

  • James Donnaught

    It’s interesting that there’s an officially-sanctioned version of this in many communities, where the newspapers gleefully publish the names and mugshots of johns arrested for patronizing prostitutes. Maybe their editorial ethics ought to be called into question as well.

    • Alex Grey

      Yeah I hear you. I was in a convenience store here in Portland, and saw a “newspaper” called “Busted,” which published all the most hideous mug shots they could find from the past week. It made me feel ashamed, that there were people living around me, that actually wanted to see this Scarlet Letter rag.

      • Smibo

        That same rag is available here in SW Florida! I’ve never bought it, but I couldn’t help but notice that the hottest crime-chick-mugshots are always above the fold on the front page. Co-inky-dink?

        • Alex Grey

          No, marketing shame on others. (As I am sure you have already deduced.)

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The ethics are the same (low), but they justify it with the fact that the guys broke the law, and for that reason aren’t entitled to their privacy.

    • actor212

      But there, there’s a police record involved, which is public information accessible to anyone with the time and energy to review it. Here was a situation where the poor shook got outted (assuming the story is true, not a safe assumption) because the sex worker in question tossed a hissy fit.

      • And let’s remember that the Duggars already tried to parlay that bit of false equivalency to pseudo-martyrdom (It’s false, of course, because the Duggar info was obtained through proper channels using the Freedom of Information Act because, surprise, the public might have a compelling interest in knowing that a guy who’s in the practice of denying the rights of those who commit “sexual sin” likes fondling little girls.)

    • jmk

      I think this is more along the lines of the delightful charmers who advocate the posting of the names and photographs of welfare recipients in the local newspapers.

  • As one of the most lastest commenters to not be allowed to comment on this pretty much impeccably written post – with all y’all punctual-ass peeps probably just cold passed out by now in your own puke and someone else’s pink parts, or vice versa – I’d just like to say DIZZAMN.

    Becca, this is, pants down, the best-to-the-max read [<— SWIDT?!] yet on the whole navel fucking, knee fellating, news fisting cluster-felch that was Gawker’s – terrarium-raised editors, Uber-dwelling executives, and shart-fingered Hungarian owner included – super sad face emoticon-handling of this petty Condé Nasty-directed hatchet job.

    Much respect as well for having the integrity to raise, and then clearly Trixplain, the whole shitty Trig sitch (especially because I’ve been dying to, but no longer have a death wish.) As a fellow The Onion alum, Jack’s horribly executed “satirical” stab at Ma Palin made me want to bludgeon him to coma with a Big Mike’s sub. C’mon, man, you were trained better than that! The fact that it basically handed a small army of trigger (heh) happy keyboard kommandos a lifetime supply of free ammunition made it even more extra ill-conceived and D-U-M, dumm.

    Superficial similarities aside, though, there are some YOOOGE differences between The Troubles that beset Wonkette, and those currently potato-gaping Gawker: Unlike with Jordan Sargent’s piece – which was assigned by his superiors; assisted, edited, and amended by several other writers and editors; and ultimately approved by online editor-in-chief Max Read and executive editor Tommy Craggs – Jack went all lone wolf on that shit, writing and publishing it without Ken’s input, overview, or knowledge. (At least that’s my understanding.) And even though Ken’s ink-stained old school news man’s fingers didn’t want to hit “Delete” for the reasons that you stated, he did so expeditiously with an accompanying earnest apology-apology, not with the mewling, self-serving, disingenuous non-apologies reluctantly deployed by a half-dozen different Gawker Media dudes, Nick Denton’s being the worst of all.

    TL; DR:

    Good Kinja, Rebecca!

    • LesBontemps

      You had me at “pants down, the best-to-the-max read [<— SWIDT?!] yet on the whole
      navel fucking, knee fellating, news fisting cluster-felch that was
      Gawker's – terrarium-raised editors, Uber-dwelling executives, and
      shart-fingered Hungarian owner included."

    • How does one fellate a knee? Or do you mean fellating while on your knees?

      TRiG.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Thankyou Rebecca for a well-written view of the whole Gawker business. I think their sites have some great writers, and like them (and, lest we forget, that’s where Our Wonkette got started back in the days of AMC). But this? I saw that and the wails of the editors (some are writers too and I enjoy them) and thought “*this* is the hill you want to die on?” Sh*t Mountain? It was crazy. So of course the advertisers will jump ship. This wasn’t hard-hitting journalism; this was an attack on a private citizen. It was wrong and the readers picked up on that right away. And said so.
    Well, *that* unpleasantness aside, when do we get more pics of Donna Rose?

  • VandeGraf

    Sounds as if Nick Denton really wishes Gawker was something other than what it is. Perhaps he’d like to become a green grocer, so he’d only have to worry about lettuce wilting.

    • D0nald Trump

      HE SHOULD REPLACE GAWKER WITH A PAGE THAT HUNTS BRONYS, BECAUSE THEY ARE EVIL. READ THE BIBLE AND THE QURAN. FUCKER.

      • Blank Ron

        Oh, dear, Dok’s boyfriend is back.

  • actor212

    Looks Like Gawker’s Got Some Job Openings, Y’allRead

    I anticipate the Rothstein hiring any minute now.

  • actor212

    Here’s what I cannot fathom:

    First, Gawker is presumably in the business to earn a profit, right?

    Second, David Geithner’s only claim to fame is that he is the younger brother of a former Obama administration cabinet member.

    Third, the entire story sounded like a shakedown of Geithner, who or (more likely) may not have had a tryst on a business trip.

    How in the fuck do points two and three support point one? How did Gawker ever imagine this story, even if it was gospel truth and sent down to Nick Denton on a silver platter by the archangel Michael himself, would encourage clicks? WHAT FUCKING EDITOR LOOKED AT THIS STORY AND SAID, “HM. CLICKBAIT!”

    • rebecca

      they’ve made piles of money off non-famous people for years. “look at this dumb idiot who sent a dumb email” or whatever. but in most cases, those people had outed *themselves.* it wasn’t a “disclosure of private facts.”

      • actor212

        Did they break that “story” about that ham-hand on Wall Street who sent a really nasty email to some woman he dated about what an awful date she was but he’d still like to bang her so she’d better shape up?

        Because that was funny. That I could see doing, but this story doesn’t even have the charm of being a ha-ha.

  • actor212

    The only thing missing is your mom complaining to the board on your behalf.

    Trix? There’s a “Mrs Denton” on line 1…

  • Little Lulu

    Excellent post, Rebecca!

  • Michele

    Well. The final word has been spoken, I’d say.

  • FullCourtPress

    Lately it seems Gawker is fast becoming the sort of shit show that is painful to read.

    I hated to read that Adam Weinstein got shitcanned, and I have heard whispers that Hamilton Nolan is getting the ax as well. Which is a damn shame.

    • Andrew Galley

      wait what? how did I miss this. What the hell?

      Do you happen to have a link? Do you know if Adam has been picked up by any other outfits, or if he’s writing on his own somewhere?

    • Austin Williamson

      Biddle could be going “bye-bye”, too. :-( Biddle can be a twit, but I actually like his writing and how he pokes fun at Silicon Valley.

      • FullCourtPress

        He can be more miss than hit at times, but I liked his SV stuff too. Apparently Biddle isn’t well liked among some of the suits, so I wouldn’t be shocked if they did get rid of him.

        I can’t help but feel a little sorry for him if it’s true.

  • LarryHoudini

    Hold on here—Tommy Craggs isn’t a total asshole. If he were, he’d do something totally classless, like expense a $500 meal right before he walked out the door, then post the receipt on Instagram.

  • GenuineClass

    This is the best piece I’ve read on the whole issue. I’m raising a glass full of Communism to you, Rebecca.

  • MrPendent

    Preach it, sister!

  • teddy21

    Thank you for bitch slapping those two for me. I’ve had an itchy hand for their faces for a week now, but I had no platform on which to scratch said itch…. well except the hundreds of comments I’ve left on Gawker which I’m sure never make it out of gray.

    • timpundit

      Yours,either? I’ve given up.

  • Rooby_Roo

    You ROCK!

  • timpundit

    God bless Rebecca. I’m sending money.

  • MrBlifil

    I came for the sternly crossed arms and finger wags, I stayed for the dicks wet with poo.

  • guppy06

    Yours in Christ,
    Rebecca Schoenkopf

    She had a babby and done found Jeebus! Hallelujah!

    • Takoma DC

      First Ana Marie Cox and now Rebecca?

    • Could be Peaches Christ. She is definitely worthy of worship!

    • Boojum

      She found Jeebus when he popped out of Heaven, right into her doctor’s hands. And Shypixel, you know what I’m talking about (whereas I do not. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink).

  • guppy06

    None of this would have happened if the blackmailee had just gone through Ashley Madison.

  • allthedings

    This is brilliant. Thanks for posting it.

  • Best $47-and-a-sandwich purchase EVER.

  • calliecallie

    Coming to this very late, but NICE JOB!!

  • Natticus89

    Private person, private matter…. That’s like, Defamation 101. Fucking bloggers, amirite?

    • Mintie

      But it’s on the internet, and the internet is the “virtual” world, which means it isn’t real, so logically nothing you do or say on the internet is real, so you can’t be held liable by meatspace rules! Right?

      • Boojum

        A party to a sexual encounter can tell his/her own story. A pseudo-journamalism website can report on said story, by using the word “alleged” a lot. However, this does not make it wise, nor prudent, nor journamalism. And, if said website fucks up and leaves out an alleged or three, said website changes owners for less than $47 and a sandwich.

  • not ted danson

    This.

  • Lord-Nash

    May I buy Wonkette for 52 dollars and a soup and sandwich combo from Panera? I know it may not sound like much, but by my math, that would be a profit…

  • Lazy Media

    Shit, I pay $120 for Wonkette every freakin’ YEAR. Where’s my fucking stock split, dammit?

    Contribution? WHAT? Was I DRUNK?

    Oh, yeah, that’s right. I was drunk. Carry on.

  • Joel Abrams

    The Sandwich

    Possibly by Rebecca Schoenkopf (probably not)

    With apologies to MP

    Many years had elapsed during which nothing of Los Angeles, save what was comprised in the theatre and the drama of my going to bed there, had any existence for me, when one day in winter, on my return home, my friend, seeing that I was cold, offered me some website, a thing I did not ordinarily take. I declined at first, and then, for no particular reason, changed my mind. He sent for some of those squat, plump little sandwiches called “grilled cheese,” which look as though they had been molded in the fluted valve of a Panini press. And soon, mechanically, dispirited after a dreary day with the prospect of a depressing morrow, I raised to my lips a spoonful of the tomato soup in which I had soaked a morsel of the sandwich. No sooner had the warm liquid mixed with the cheesy crumbs touched my palate than a shudder ran through me and I stopped, intent upon the extraordinary thing that was happening to me. An exquisite pleasure had invaded my senses, something isolated, detached, with no suggestion of its origin. And at once the vicissitudes of life had become indifferent to me, its disasters innocuous, its brevity illusory – this new sensation having had on me the effect which love has of filling me with a precious essence; or rather this essence was not in me it was me. I had ceased now to feel mediocre, contingent, mortal. Whence could it have come to me, this all-powerful joy? I sensed that it was connected with the taste of the soup and the sandwich, but that it infinitely transcended those savors, could not, indeed, be of the same nature. Whence did it come? What did it mean? How could I seize and apprehend it? Oh, right, I’D JUST BEEN OFFERED MY OWN GOING CONCERN WEBSITE. I calmly handed my friend forty-seven dollars and the rest of my sandwich.

  • gedjcj

    Oh, I get it. You’re a massive twat.

    Yours in Christ,
    Rebecca Schoenkopf,
    Arbiter of Twats

    If comments were allowed I would recuse myself from commenting, having already gotten in trouble (hypothetically) for objecting to that kind of language.

    • gedjcj

      In general I would count being upvoted by OBE (Our Beloved Editrix) or any of the other Comment Czars as the next best thing to being elevated to a post. In this case I’m just going to humbly assume I’ve been forgiven.

  • Obot 50549535

    I do not recall Jack Stuef throwing a hissy fit when his Trig Palin piece was pulled. (Which I never read, it was pulled by the time I heard of it.) He did not seem to regard it as an intolerable injury to his extremely important personage. He seemed more like, oh I don’t know, apologetic that he screwed up.

    I wonder if there is any relationship between this, and the fact that Wonkette is funny, and Gawker is too boring to read.

  • MrRobotoLA

    Going home right now to build an altar to Rebecca in my living room.

  • Pooh Percy

    Millennials suck across the board.

    • randomhookup

      Previous generations have figured out you can suck through the board by using a glory hole.

  • Mayday!

    The crying Gawker babies are still milleni-splainin’ themselves, pissy with Nick Denton, and trying to be funny while continuing to irritate the core commenter audience that’s arguably the best thing about Kinja-world. It’s a whole new level of obtuse.

    http://blackbag.gawker.com/gawker-is-changing-its-name-to-the-ultimate-nice-websit-1720154688#_ga=1.124207372.722049621.1437852514

  • Boojum

    I love you. Jessica Cutler loves you. My dog loves you, but she is a bad judge of character, because she loves me.

  • The Kinja community is not being too kind about this brand of fuckery the staff is engaging in, and I really don’t blame them at all. You can snark, still use common sense, and not be a complete whiny liarpants ass bandit at the same time. It’s not that damn foreign of a fucking concept, but all things considered with how long I’ve been reading some of the other Gawker sites, that’s something that seems to still fail to be ingrained in many of the vets of the site.

  • btwbfdimho

    Only Gawker can be a job creator and blow job creator at the same time.

  • randomhookup

    I appreciate that the boss lady’s name translated to “beautiful head” in English.

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