SHARE

Serves you right!

DELETE YR ACCOUNTS, SHEEPLE. If you are one of the gross pervs who has been gross perving it up on the Ashley Madison website — tagline “Life is short. Have an affair” — your wife or husband or life partner may be about to find out about how gross you are, at which point they will be divorcing you and taking all your money for the rest of your life, because the judge will agree that you are a very bad gross perv cheater. And how will they find out? Because Ashley Madison got hacked, and the hackers took all the info on 40 million people, from the United States and that cute snowy “Canadia” country that sits just to the north, and they are threatening to release it if their demands are not met:

Reached by KrebsOnSecurity late Sunday evening, ALM Chief Executive Noel Biderman confirmed the hack, and said the company was “working diligently and feverishly” to take down ALM’s intellectual property. Indeed, in the short span of 30 minutes between that brief interview and the publication of this story, several of the Impact Team’s Web links were no longer responding.

“We’re not denying this happened,” Biderman said. “Like us or not, this is still a criminal act.”

Besides snippets of account data apparently sampled at random from among some 40 million users across ALM’s trio of properties, the hackers leaked maps of internal company servers, employee network account information, company bank account data and salary information.

Now you’re probably thinking, oh, the hackers are morally outraged that 40 million people out there have an actual website where they can go and say “Hello, I am a married man who would like to fiddle with the G-spot of another man’s wife, and you are a married lady who would like to do BDSM fantasy stuff with a married man, instead of with your boring husband, IT’S A MATCH!” But that is not the truth! They’re actually pissed because Ashley Madison’s purported ability to keep all its users’ secrets, through an outside service called Full Delete, apparently does not Fully Delete profiles, and well, that’s just maddening and unfair:

According to the hackers, although the “full delete” feature that Ashley Madison advertises promises “removal of site usage history and personally identifiable information from the site,” users’ purchase details — including real name and address — aren’t actually scrubbed.

“Full Delete netted ALM $1.7mm in revenue in 2014. It’s also a complete lie,” the hacking group wrote. “Users almost always pay with credit card; their purchase details are not removed as promised, and include real name and address, which is of course the most important information the users want removed.”

So now they’re releasing this data a little bit at a time, and they say they’ll release more and more for every day Ashley Madison and another one of its affiliated properties stays online:

“Avid Life Media has been instructed to take Ashley Madison and Established Men offline permanently in all forms, or we will release all customer records, including profiles with all the customers’ secret sexual fantasies and matching credit card transactions, real names and addresses, and employee documents and emails. The other websites may stay online.” […]

“Too bad for those men, they’re cheating dirtbags and deserve no such discretion,” the hackers continued. “Too bad for ALM, you promised secrecy but didn’t deliver. We’ve got the complete set of profiles in our DB dumps, and we’ll release them soon if Ashley Madison stays online. And with over 37 million members, mostly from the US and Canada, a significant percentage of the population is about to have a very bad day, including many rich and powerful people.”

A pox on ALL your whore houses!  Now, because there are “rich and powerful people” doing gross whore dalliances behind their spouses’ backs, we are very curious about who the hackers are. Could it Gawker possibly Gawker be Gawker? Nah, they are not that S-M-R-T. Besides, ALM’s head honcho says the company is pretty sure it’s figured out who is behind this, not a former employee but maybe a contractor, and he says that’s probably why all this leaking is happening right now.

But we promise that if they release all that secret information and we learn that Donald Trump likes to be peed on, we will post on it, for journalism, but we won’t post on randos who aren’t newsworthy, because #ETHICS.

[KrebsOnSecurity via Jezebel]

 

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • BearGHAZI

    Does this mean heterosexual marriage is Over?

    • Ilgattomorte

      No, silly Bear. Heterosexual marriage is not dependent on fidelity. We can have multiple affairs, multiple marriages and yet, the sanctity of marriage is not blemished. It’s just like any other arranged property contract.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The problems start when you’re looking at the issue from the marriage (yes, Joffrey Baratheon, we’re talking about YOU!) that may not be actually issue from the marriage.

      • Vecciojohn

        I’m not sure I agree 100% with your theological work there, Lou. Addressing one’s membrum virile to an unsanctified vessel and being betrothed or wed to another at the time of such address is still a crime to be adjudicated by the secular arm.

        • Ilgattomorte

          All that you say is true, but you can’t argue that in our society, as a heterosexual, I can commit all all manner of awful transgressions and yet somehow the sanctity of marriage remain unscathed. However, two guys holding hands outside of a Baskin and Robbins ruins the whole thing for everybody. Go figure.

    • Grokenstein

      Well, yes, but only because we let the fairies marries, not because of AshMad.

    • ThePuckStopsHere

      No, that ended a week ago Friday. The final score was 5-4. Mrs. Puck and I remain however somewhat unsure what we are supposed to do. Is there a form we have to go downtown and fill out? Are we to call a bunch of lawyers? Or is this one of those “with all deliberate speed” deals? We haz a confused.

  • sw19womble

    Sorry to have obviously been living happily under my rock for the past few months/years, but there’s a website for spouses to cheat on their partners? And it’s really, really popular? :/

  • Nounverb911

    And how many republican teabagger congresscritters are getting screamed at by their spouses now?

    • elviouslyqueer

      MOT, K.

      • deanbooth

        M? You’ve gone soft, eq.

        • Seek

          The remainder are on Rentboy or similar. This was for all of the straights. Between the Ds and Rs that would be MOT not AOT

  • Nounverb911

    INFIDELITYGHAZI!?

    • JoeChristmas

      Soulmateyndra!!1!

  • goonemeritus

    Doesn’t anyone cheat the good old fashioned way anymore, why
    do we have to bring technology into everything?

    • kindness

      No Chatroulette for you!

  • Nounverb911

    This is good news for the divorce lawyers of America.

    • Sharkey

      But not for John McCain.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Somewhere, on an immaculately tufted chaise lounge in an apartment just off DuPont Circle, Lindsey Graham breathed a huge sigh of relief before getting up to mix himself yet another frosty mint julep.

    • HolidayinCambodia

      Then, sitting down, picked up his iPhone 6, tapped on the little orange icon with the black mask, and swiped down to load more boys.

      • And checked “block Brodie Sinclair” off his to-do list.

        • HolidayinCambodia

          “Shit! Too late!”

      • kindness

        Well now I know what Grindr’s site tag line looks like.

  • Barbara Delaney

    Wellity, wellity, well, as Homer would say. Get your republican candidate Bingo cards ready, this should be fun.

  • JMPesq

    It’s when everyone involved in a story is an loathsome asshole, and it’s kind of hard to feel sorry for the victims.

    • natoslug

      But enough about the Trump/McCain kerfluffle . . .

  • Esteban Rey

    I’m guessing there will be a lot less traffic at Yr Wonkette today, as yr readers will be occupied with other matters. Because they are gross whores who have to fix their whore problems.

    • nmmagyar

      I thought we were the kind of gross whores who didn’t give a shit that people knew we are gross whores.

      • Esteban Rey

        Think about that moment when your gross whore moms and dads see your gross whore names right next to theirs on the whore list.

        • sw19womble

          You seem to be fixated on whores for some reason.
          Well, makes a change from buttsex I suppose.

          • Esteban Rey

            Okay. Direct a portion of your indignation at the title of the article. I’ll absorb the rest. I don’t recall any recent buttsechs! remarks, but I take responsibility for those too.

          • sw19womble

            Hey, it’s all good in my mind, as long as it’s voluntary exchange ;)

        • Celtic_Gnome

          And then the whore mommy and whore daddy love each other very much, and a whore babby grows in the whore mommy’s stomach.

      • Letting people know it is the entire basis of my marketing strategy.

        • Blank Ron

          And I have to say, you are damned good at it.

      • deanbooth

        A whorticulture, so to speak.

        • kindness

          A whoreocracy? Isn’t that what the Koch brothers are already doing?

    • sw19womble

      The sex workers aren’t the problem. In fact, if prostitution were legalised, there’d be no need for…. oh, wait, you were just trying to be rude!

      • Esteban Rey

        Oh no offense to sex workers. I am most definitely talking about people giving it away for free.

  • Mary Sandoras

    It would be wrong not to speculate. Do you think Santorum has a secret account looking for some frisky man on dog stuff, using the screen name Lassie?

    • coozledad

      I’m seeing Rick more as a “Peggy.”

      • Antonin Dvorak

        data:image/jpeg;base64,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

        • sw19womble

          Still a better love story than Twilight.

          • nmmagyar

            …and better erotica than 50 Shades

        • mtn_philosoph

          Ha! Upvotes by the boatload, AD!

      • Whale Chowder

        I imagine he’d spell it “Peg-ee.”

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …well this should thin the GOP field a little bit!

    • Msgr_Moment

      What?! Did grindr get hacked too?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I just startled the cat with my reaction to this. For shame!

      • nmmagyar

        ManHunt

    • Biff52

      Yeah, I’ll miss iCarly most of all.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Where does one go to search for names? For a friend, obvs.

  • nothingisamiss

    Let us now lay waste to the morally upright who lecture us all.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Your move, Christian Tingle.

    • Nounverb911

      Isn’t that Rick Perry’s porn name?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I thought it was Rainier Wolfcastle.

        “The glasses, they do nothing!”

      • coozledad

        I thought he was “The Narcissist of N-head.”

      • Mary Sandoras

        I thought it was Perry does Dallas.

        • SK

          I thought it was Dallas does Perry.

      • Fartknocker

        It’s El Jefe goat fucker.

    • Grokenstein

      “You don’t have to be lonely, at FarmersOnly dot com.”

    • Msgr_Moment

      That’s the name of some STD, correct?

      • NanBullenshede

        What Josh Duggar calleth his finger.

  • Whollyholeyholy

    “Get an account; you just have to see it.” Not a f’ing chance. I’ve always been the boring one in my social group. Guess there’s all kinda drama I’m about to hear about, though.

  • Grokenstein

    Wow, there are still people out there who think websites willingly “scrub” data that they can sell to third parties for a tidy sum? Heh!

  • STOP PEE-SHAMING, EVAN!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    “Ashley Madison got hacked.”

    Surprise, surprise surprise! Didn’t see this coming like a giant Snoopy up Broadway on Thanksgiving, did we?

    • Whollyholeyholy

      I assumed it was an inside job. “You know how we could make even more money…”

      • Spotts1701

        Hey, it works for the Five Families.

  • Randy Riddle

    Ashley Madison is a website for cheaters?

    I thought it was some Disney cable sit-com for tweens

    • Nounverb911

      Cheaters ‘tween wives?

      • nmmagyar

        “Tween Wives”? Is that the new reality show on TLC to see who gets to marry the 12 year old?

    • calliecallie

      I thought it was a preppy clothing and home furnishings designer.

      • proudgrampa

        Heck, I thought it was a shoe designer.

      • deanbooth

        I thought it made those cakes we like.

        • Respiteini

          Hoecakes?

        • data_ninja

          That’s the Dolly Madison website – for eaters.

    • Fred Wertham, Jr.

      I thought they sold nerdy hipster eyeglasses.

    • It’s not a lifestyle site that sells flowery wallpaper and has tips for how to organize your wrapping room?

  • Spotts1701

    Again, can I just root for mutually assured destruction?

    Oh, and speaking of Gawker – Craggs and Read are out. Though as expected, Craggs is making it all about him and how he’s quitting because ethics in journalism and editorial freedoms.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oh, just as GamerGate was all about ethics in journalism? Those sorts of ethics?

    • Treg Brown

      But is Caity Weaver okay??!
      She’s the only reason I still visit Gawker , and I think she was promoted to a senior position. Now all I have left is 500 Days of Kristin. And it sucks.

      • deanbooth

        HamNo is OK. His report on last weekend’s Republican presidential thingie was hilarious.

  • Beowoof14

    Hey, think about it, you are married to say Donald Trump, and you are horny and the thought of sexy time with Donald doesn’t do it for you anymore. Ashley Madison is providing a needed service, for Mrs. Trump, Mrs Bush (take your pick which one) Mrs Cheney, (although from her book the word is she likes hot lesbian sex). Think about the public service being done for these women.

  • Msgr_Moment

    These are END TIMES, PEOPLE!!

    • Blank Ron

      Again? That’s the third one in the last week, and I gotta say, it’s playing merry hell with my schedule.

  • JoeChristmas

    Marriage means one man and one woman!11!1!!

    • bobbert

      At a time.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        What do you have against traditional marriage?

  • natoslug

    As long as LonelyFetishPenguins is still secure, I’m not too worried.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Opus, that you?

      • kindness

        Well Opus did have a coming out party last week, sort of. Not a moment too soon either.

      • natoslug

        I thought Opus was into nun BDSM.

    • deanbooth

      Tastes like chicken?

      • natoslug

        Nah. Tastes like armadillo.

      • Whale Chowder

        Herring.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    The 38 million dudes who signed up but never got any action now also have to face the fact that their spouse knows how desperately they tried,

    • Seriously. I assume the profiles are roughly a 50-50 mix of actual horny straight married folks who are never actually going to hook up, and in-house-generated dummy profiles that serve as the come on to make you think you might hook up. Or so my friend surmised from his time on that site.

    • bluejayray

      This story is so sad and so preventable on so many levels…

  • Steven M. Harries

    They’ll have to pry my Miss Piss Mistress away from me and my cold, sweaty palms . . .

  • Tendernob

    Ah, remember back in the day when the only time you could get caught cheating is if both you and your old lady liked Pina Coladas?

    • Msgr_Moment

      What a coincidence! I have half a brain!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Along with walks in the rain, making love in the dunes by the cape, and all that rot.

      • schmannity

        That’ll get you 20 years in the pen in Florida.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          A lot more time than “defending yourself” against some kid with skittles in his pocket.

    • calliecallie

      Now I will have that song in my head all afternoon.

  • Biff52

    Status update: “It’s complicated.”

    • Dee Andee

      Kind of like a Confederate flag, those words. Lets everyone know the user is a dickweed.

  • exinkwretch

    Adulterers can now go back to the tried-and-true, old school tactics of fucking neighbors, coworkers and the babysitter.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      As has been fully documented at pornohub.com.

      Obviously, the created link is NSW. You knew that before you clicked it. Yes you did. Don’t try to pretend you did not. You’re not fooling anyone, you know.

      • Wait, what? I thought I was already at porhnohub. No?

        • Dee Andee

          That’s what happens when we have photos of statues fucking taxidermied chickens. Pornographic chaos ensues!

    • the_steamer

      Like they ever stopped

  • Mary Sandoras

    Are the Yiffing sites secure? Asking for a friend.

    • Mhael

      SO glad there’s no one else in this office, `cause I just LOL’ed LOUDLY over this comment.

  • Mhael

    SHEESH. Guinevere & Lancelot, Sophie & Nathan, Oliver & Barbara Rose, EVERYONE on Ashley Madison…. ya know, a little polyamory would solve a lot of problems, folks…
    #JustSayin ;)

  • Steven M. Harries

    “O yeah, Ashley Madison. She’s the lovechild of Oscar and Felix.”

  • Michael Smith

    They must not be that rich and powerful if this hacker is still alive.

  • calliecallie

    Cheating? There’s an app for that?

    • Beaumarchais?

      Equally clueless here. I thought Ashley Madison sold those flowered sundresses.

      • david green

        Not dresses, cupcakes.

  • Michael Smith

    I will be curious to see who’s on this list – if this really ever happens. I hope its a lot of dudes that told Jennifer Lawrence that if she didn’t want her naked pictures leaked, she shouldn’t have taken naked pictures.

    • SK

      There are sixteen GOP klowns, surely one of them must be on there.

      • Mary Sandoras

        I’m hoping for a pew full of evangelicals to be exposed.

        • Whollyholeyholy

          I thought they came in quivers.

          • sw19womble

            They’ll certainly be quivering now.

          • NanBullenshede

            Be that what thee call it now?

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Amy Schumer did a spoof of an Ashley Madison type site for evangelicals.

      • AnOuthouse

        Was it a closeted gay site?

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Ashley Madison has a sister site for married men looking for “encounters” with other men.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    A whole lot of shit stained boxers in the USofAdultry today.

  • HolidayinCambodia

    Josh Duggar’s reaction: “Thank the Lord it wasn’t ‘PlentyofBabyFish[dot]com!’

  • Mavenmaven

    All they will get from this is the actual names of the Nigerian scammers that post on all those sites.

  • Vecciojohn

    “Every time I hear the words ‘intellectual property’ I reach for my pistol.” – Field Marshall Hermann von Munster.

  • TundraGrifter

    Today they are all Bill Cosby.

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…..

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    That’s why I stick to the Russian hotties who are so anxious to meet me that they send me e-mails out of the blue.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, the Russian hotties are slightly less annoying than the offers to augment my tits, get a full payment on my structured settlement, or meet my perfect Jewish date.

      • david green

        Russians? There is a hot MILF living only three miles from me and she is constantly asking for a date.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          You too? She must be a slut.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I could have half a bilion in HAARP loans by now. Whatever the fuck they are.

  • Donna Rail

    I will not be found on that site. No one has been interested in having any sex with me for years.

  • disqus_0lWqMBoD8b

    This is just terrible. We should assign all of our best fictional detectives to get to the bottom of this.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Inspector Clouseau is on the case as I type these words!

      • vivian

        Uh, just one more thing… could we, uh, maybe get Columbo on this? You see, I was just talking to Mrs. Columbo about this and she, well, she’s smarter than me, and she thought maybe he could get to the bottom of it.

    • Spotts1701

      Also get those CSI folks on it, on the double.

      • disqus_0lWqMBoD8b

        You mean the ones on the TV Show, right? Maybe a special episode or two?

      • shelwood

        This sounds like a case for CSI: Cyber! Also, I’m pretty sure there will be at least one unexpected murder if we bring them in… so that’s a plus.

    • Malmborg Implano

      Definitely we should call Sherlock. It’s probably Moriarty dancing to “The Thieving Magpie” again.

    • yellowdoggie

      Miss Marple is clutching her pearls.

      • Mintie

        Actually, if anyone wouldn’t be shocked, it’d be Miss Marple. She probably already has the users assigned to a Mary St. Mead Villager archetype.

        • yellowdoggie

          Too-shay, Mintie.

    • bluejayray

      Columbo is on it!

    • bluejayray

      Columbo is on it!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      McMillan and Wife will not be helping with the investigation. Something about some computer problem with some website that has Mr. McMillan in hot water with the Mrs.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I’m sorry, but if you provide your real name and address to a site like that, you are just *asking* for it. Actually, how the hell did they get to 37 million subscribers if they ask for personal info? Does no one have a healthy sense of paranoia anymore?

    • disqus_0lWqMBoD8b

      They’re cheaters. It’s like asking if kleptomaniacs are missing a healthy sense they might get caught.

    • Michael Christian

      They are a premium service and unlike most actually charge a fee. Your credit card requires a real name and address. Though from what I understand they had pretty good security. If someone on the inside helped them (as they’ve indicated) the security won’t do much.

  • cessnadriver

    Wouldn’t it be really gross if we found out that Phyllis Schafley was on that list?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Would you be willing to have sex with an older lady?”

      • VandeGraf

        “… with a cadaverous older lady?”

        • vivian

          “necrophiliac, but scared to go all the way?”

    • preachy

      I wouldn’t do her with a stolen dick!!!!

    • bluejayray

      Personally I would love it. Even better if she was seeking female companionship for a little discipline.

      • cessnadriver

        Ewwwwww…..no woman would stoop that low. Men, on the other hand….

  • VandeGraf

    And to think, I’m embarrassed that last month– for the first time in years, I swear!– I pulled into the drive thru and ordered a Big Mac. There. I said it. I outed myself. I’m both ashamed, and relieved. Now let’s put this behind us.

    • Logic of Color

      Lets hope McD’s never gets hacked. Can you imagine the havoc that would ensue if records of who ate Big Macs was ever released?

      • preachy

        I’m in the clear (no, really!) never had the pleasure of a Big Mac (at least not the kind they sell at McBurgers).

      • JeffWest

        You can kinda tell just by looking.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “But lately I’ve been spotted with a Big Mac on my breath
      Stumblin’ in to a Colonel Sanders’, with a face as white as death
      I’m afraid some day they’ll find me, just stretched out on my bed
      With a handful of Pringle’s potato chips and a ding dong by my head”

    • vivian

      Not the Drive Thru! For shame! ; )

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Is this going to cause an epic divorce spike? Sort of like the Baby Boom or other major population/demographic events?If even half of those 37 million subscribers legitimately exist, that’s 18.5 million people. And even if fully half of those people (okay, let’s admit it’s mostly men) are forgiven by their spouses, that’s still 9 million divorces, all filed in 2015! It’s going to be chaos!

    I know this is kind of salacious/schadenfreude stuff on the surface, but it might actually kind of be a BFD.

    • disqus_0lWqMBoD8b

      If 37 million spouses who have been cheated on, gas lighted, etc set themselves free, I call that progress.

      If you want to have an open marriage, best to discuss that with your spouse first, and then they can divorce you straight away if they do not agree.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        …I’m detecting a certain lack of sympathy here!

      • splashy79

        Agreed. It’s the lying that is the problem. Can’t have a relationship with lots of lies.

  • azeyote

    now you can’t even cheat in privacy – what is this world coming to – orgy’s for everyone i guess – get in line –

  • Logic of Color

    37 million registered cheaters. Are people still blaming gays for any perceived decline in morality or the corruption of the institution of marriage in this country?

    • disqus_0lWqMBoD8b

      Don’t be silly, they don’t just blame the gays for peoples’ marriages failing. They also blame the gays for the weather and terrorist attacks.

      • bluejayray

        What they are really afraid of is that gay people will show them up in the marriage department. A lot of the gay couples who can just now finally get married have been together 25-50 years already.

      • bluejayray

        What they are really afraid of is that gay people will show them up in the marriage department. A lot of the gay couples who can just now finally get married have been together 25-50 years already.

        • disqus_0lWqMBoD8b

          Naw, gays have just been safe to hate until recently, and they’re behind the trend.

        • ICDogg

          It’s an interesting question: do gay couples (on average) cheat any more or less on one another than straight couples?

          • bluejayray

            In my experience, less.

      • JeffWest

        I blame the gays for a shirt that my wife bought me at Marshall’s that I’m never ever gonna wear.

        • Sorry about that – collateral damage in the War on the Sanctity of Marriage.

  • AnOuthouse

    Pfffft! No one cared that a sitting senator liked to wear diapers while visiting prostitutes. Its a new day and age. Good luck getting a quarter for the info.

    • Mintie

      We don’t, but his constituents do.

      • anniegetyerfun

        Is that why they reelected him?

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I’m afraid this affects me on a personal level. As the God-chosen King of the USA, my 700 wives and 300 concubines are going to be totally pissed off when they find out I’ve been canoodling with an Ashley Madison Ubermistress.

    • JeffWest

      The old couple who lives in the downstairs apartment must hate you.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        When Wife #274 (Desirée) and Concubine #103 (Shirley) get a little too vocal, the couple downstairs bang on their ceiling with a broom stick and hollar, “Hey, Your Highness, stick a sock in it!” They have no sense of duty to their Sovreign, those people.

    • Doug Langley

      And you have enough strength left to blog??

  • preachy

    Ima guess that their subscriber list is really like maybe around couple hunnert cheaters, all using like a whole bunch of multiple logins.

    • preachy

      Heh Heh, I said “log in”.

      • bluejayray

        Was that so hard to say? (heh heh)

  • Dee Andee

    I told y’all…perving is exhausting.

  • bluejayray

    How stupid do you have to be to have a website arrange your sexual play times for you. I’ll bet these are the same folks who send samples of their DNA to the mormons. (Ancestry.com)

    http://thefreethoughtproject.com/ancestry-com-caught-sharing-dna-information-police-warrant/

  • bluejayray

    How stupid do you have to be to have a website arrange your sexual play times for you. I’ll bet these are the same folks who send samples of their DNA to the mormons. (Ancestry.com)

    http://thefreethoughtproject.com/ancestry-com-caught-sharing-dna-information-police-warrant/

    • Jamasiel

      Didn’t know that about Ancestry. But because they ~never~ clean their front windows, the local church has samples of my DNA anyway.

    • But I thought Ashley Madison were the DNA collectors?

  • Christopher Boscarino

    So Ashley-Maddison was cheating on it’s users? Huh.

  • Tracy

    KrebsOnSecurity?

    Is their name an ironic salute to the majesty that was Pete and Pete?

    • gallbladder

      …or the citric acid cycle.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Clan of the Cave Bear father figure, also.

    • Querolous

      Is Krebs angry?

  • planetwingnuttia

    how many republicans congressmen/lawmakers/governors ? don’t care about democrats cause theyr’e not saying family values and anti marriage equality.

  • pragmatizm

    I was wondering when this was going to happen.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Since it would be irresponsible not to speculate, I was about to suggest by name a prominent politician who is eating extramarital pussy thanks to Ashley Madison. But then I stopped myself because it’s unfair to hit a man when he’s going down.

    • Blank Ron

      *rimshot*

  • anniegetyerfun

    Pretty sure that my husband is not among these particular cheaters, because if he had been getting some on the side, he would have been a lot more cheerful these past few months.

  • toomanyrappers

    Well, asshole awards all around: cheaters and hackers.

  • DahBoner
  • Lord-Nash

    Well, the site is essentially built to provide people with a hook up, right? Maybe not everyone who’s a member is in any kind of committed relationship. I mean, do you HAVE to be in a relationship to join? Do you get charged MORE if you’re single and not actually cheating on anyone? Will your hook up be pissed if you tell them you’re not sneaking around behind someone’s back? I’m asking for a friend.

  • Sterculius

    When will people ever learn that there is no privacy on the internet. Go back to using airport bathrooms.

    • Yep no chance of getting caught there!

  • mtn_philosoph

    Ashley Madison? I always liked their Ho-Hos.

Previous articleDonald Trump YOOOOGE Fan Of God And Those Little Jesus Crackers
Next articleKKK And Black People Celebrate Post-Racial Harmony, With Their Fists