SHARE

Oh look it's his War Face.

Bombastic semi-human dipshit Donald Trump has been telling his esteemed supporters lately all about how ISIS is going to “be in such trouble” when he’s (LOL) president, and how he’s the “most militaristic person in the room” — all rooms, in fact. Even if he’s in the room with the SEAL team that killed bin Laden, he’s still the most militaristic motherfucker in the room, and everybody is like “Oh, Donald Trump, why do we feel like such pussies right now? All we did was killed the world’s most wanted terrorist, but you made all those ugly hotels,” and Trump says, “It’s because you’re weak,” and then he gets on Twitter to do REAL WAR against an escaped Mexican drug lord and swears to “kick his ass!” Typical day for Trump.

But guess what, and SURPRISE, Trump is a draft-dodging pussy. Here are some facts from a 2011 Smoking Gun investigation:

Selective Service records reveal that Trump, the fortunate son of a multimillionaire real estate baron, took repeated steps to avoid serving in Vietnam.

By the time his number (356) was drawn during the December 1, 1969 draft lottery, Trump had already received four student deferments and a medical deferment, according to military records on file with the National Archives and Records Administration. An extract of Trump’s Selective Classification record … was provided in response to a TSG records request.

In fact, the December 1969 draft lottery occurred about 18 months after Trump graduated from the University of Pennsylvania, where he studied business at the Wharton School. So, while claiming that he would “never forget” being at Wharton watching the draft numbers being drawn, … Trump seems to have misremembered, as candidates are fond of saying.

Trump’s last get-out-of-draft-free card, in 1968, was different from the others, in that he was out of school, and also in that it was a 1-Y classification, which listed him as fit to be drafted “only in time of national emergency.” In other words, a medical deferment, according to a 1992 Trump biography. We don’t know what medical issues he was having then, but maybe that’s when that thing with his hair started.

Anyhow, we’re still all excited to hear about Trump’s extra secret, super tough guy plans to murder ISIS dead, since his “militaristic” experience hosting reality shows and doing Twitter wars surely makes him the only candidate “militaristic” enough for the job.

On second thought, maybe Trump thinks “militaristic” is a synonym for “dumb pompous asshole whom everybody laughs at,” in which case, he’s correct. He is ALWAYS the most “militaristic” person in the room.

[Little Green Footballs / The Smoking Gun via AddictingInfo]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • AngryBlakGuy

    …I suspect that Trumps medical deferments were caused by an acute form of VAGISITIS

    • marxalot

      One of the earliest documented cases of Affluenza in this country, many other young men of his class contracted it, but the symptoms went unrecognized.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        True fact: American public opinion changed on Vietnam as the draft got more and more into taking middle class sons away to die in the shit.

        • Msgr_Moment

          So, you’re saying that The Donald helped shorten the war?

          • marxalot

            Thus TOTALLY refuting his point about being the war-y-est.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    That’s not a roadkill marmot on his head, it’s a medical condition!

  • Viva La Tabula Raza

    Trump spent the Vietnam war playing the part of Rush Limbaugh’s anal cyst.

    • Rebecca Gardner

      I thought he was playing the part of Ted Nugent’s underwear.

      • Callyson

        All of them, Katie.

  • Dr.Zoidberg

    When did being a major idiot become a medical condition?

    • WIDTAP

      For the military – it’s a qualification for being an officer.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Me know this. Me waz one!

    • r m reddicks

      So you’re saying he WAS in the military? “Major Idiot please report to Colonel Cargill.” Learned everything he knew from Lt. Milo Minderbender.

  • Notreelyhelping

    Wearing a helmet proved impossible.

    • Billy Rubin

      Everyday since then, he’s also proven a helmet would have been completely unnecessary for him.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        That Kevlar hair spray he uses to keep the comb-over is place is more effective than wearing a helmet, albeit less natural looking.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Yes, but I do believe Trump’s Skull Merkin served two tours in NAM with the 4th Infantry Division.

    • Antimassacree

      Proud to be a merkin, ’cause at least I know I’m free.

  • docterry6973

    Lindsey Graham would kick his ass. Nobody wants more wars than Lindsey.

    • Rebecca Gardner

      Lindsey has loved the military since The Village People came out with In The Navy.

    • Lot_49

      And Lindsey is a combat-hardened Air Force Reserve jagofficer. If by “combat” you mean struggling to put new toner in the copier.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Oh, come on. Putting toner in the copier is work for the enlisted swine.

        • Lot_49

          That’s the kind of leader Miss Lindsay was: down there in the trenches with his men, leading from the front!

          • willi0000000

            are you implying that they wouldn’t let him lead from the rear?

    • Antimassacree

      There’s a pay-per-view cage match for the ages: Miss Lindsey vs. The Donald!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Well, young Donald Trump has this in common with the deserting coward, Darth Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, Ted Nugent, and gawd only knows how many other Rethuglican chickenhawk wusstards.

  • schmannity

    Mid-town Manhattan. Shit. Every minute I stay in the Trump Tower, I get weaker and every minute Charlie squats in the bush, he gets stronger.

  • Tallmutha
    • Msgr_Moment

      Well,

      • elviouslyqueer

        That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

    • calliecallie

      Nothing can trump that photo.

      • Tallmutha

        This meme is gonna be yoooooooge.

    • WIDTAP

      Please – It must be properly labelled.

  • AntiDerpomeme

    You know who (else) used images of Nazis in his campaign publicity? Guess: http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2015/07/donald-trump-campaign-ad-nazi-soldiers

    • marxalot

      Oh, gawd, did you see the thing from his AZ rally where he was talking about “peace through strength”?

      • AntiDerpomeme

        Oh Lord! No I did not, but his campaign is taking an interesting thematic turn, yes?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Evan, please. Pussies are tough. Ask your mom. The Donald is not tough.

    • Callyson

      Indeed:

  • cousin itt

    According to army genetic testing, Trump’s DNA contains many genes known to exist only in the Equine species. A hybrid, if you will.

    • Viva La Tabula Raza

      There’s a guy down in the Maricopa Country hoosegow that would like to get Donald’s contact information, if that’s the case.

  • SecludedCompound

    Hmmmm…. weaseling out of fights with Ho Chi Minh, weaseling out of fights with El Chapo…. I see a trend here. Don’t tell the Caliph, we need that guy quaking in his boots.

    • Viva La Tabula Raza

      “Look at our current situation with that camel fucker over in Iraq. Pacifism is not something to hide behind.”

    • elviouslyqueer

      Oh, he’s already poked that anthill:

      Trump: “ISIS, believe me, I would take them out so fast.”

      • SecludedCompound

        But we can’t let on that he’s actually an enormous weenie! Then who will save us!?

        • Zippy

          I’m pretty sure they already know…

        • Villago Delenda Est

          That’s easy. Paul Ryan, the Oscar Meyer-mobile driver.

  • mrFawkes

    Some folks are born, made to wave the rebel flag
    Ooo, they’re red, white and gold
    And when the band plays “Hail to the Chief”
    Ooo, they point the short fingered vulgarian at you, Lord

    • cessnadriver

      Spy Mag….I do miss it!

  • Tallmutha
    • Villago Delenda Est

      That poor cat.

      • Lori

        I want to know how many fingers are now missing from the hand of the person who did that to that poor cat.

        • elviouslyqueer

          All of them, Kitty.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            When you’re lobbed a softball, it is your duty to slam it out of the park so far it has to get a visa because it’s on its way to South America.

          • Usedtobeyellerdawg

            You win. You win all the things today.

          • ThePuckStopsHere

            Absolutely right. No gimmes here. Tap ’em all in.

    • dslindc

      Animal cruelty!

    • Blackest Noobs

      Pussy Trump….still tougher than the Real Trump who is a Pussy.

    • WIDTAP

      Fixed.

      • Virginia Dreaming

        I am not sure if that is more insulting to cats or women.

    • JohnR

      The cat does not appear to be happy.

  • Gorillionaire

    Hey, he would have totally joined the fight, but twitter didn’t exist in the Vietnam era.

    • Come here a minute

      What about GeoCities?

  • elviouslyqueer

    Bears repeating, with minor edits, but this is mighty big butch talk coming from someone who, if actually threatened, would leave a trail of pooped pants from Battery Park to Yonkers on the way to boarding the first jet he could find bound for the Galapagos Islands.

    • dslindc

      Pooped pants made in China, probably.

    • TheBidenator

      But enough about Ted Nugent….

    • marxalot

      Hey, it’s not his ass he’s volunteering onto the line, ya know? Real easy to be a bombastic shitstain when you’re not the sucker in the troop carrier.

  • MrBlobfish

    He’s the most fantastic person in the room, as in everything is fantasy.

  • Legion32

    “Look, here’s the thing with Vietnam – I WANTED to go. I did and there are people, lots of people who will tell you that I was screaming to get into the fight. I even had friends, several friends who were in the Army, not just the Army but the Marines too – recruiters. I told them – I’lll go in a heartbeat, a friggin HEARTBEAT but you gotta let me fight this thing my way. I’ll make Mai Ling look like a friggin charitable food drive. I will go in and wipe these VC fuckers off the face of the map. I would have made Audie Murphy look like a pussy. Nobody would have ever heard of Carlos Hathcock because I would have killed all the VC that he ened up killing before he could have killed them. I would have killed twice as dead. But the Army, they decided it was for them and our allies if I didn’t go so, they gave me deferments. I never asked for them though. I wanted to fight more than anyone.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You know, channeling The Donald could cause drain bamage. You should talk to your doctor about possible side effects.

      • Legion32

        Just looked in my mirror and now I’ve got fish lips.

    • bluejayray

      I hear tell that it was Trump who dumped NBC, Unvision, Telemundo, Macy’s, and so on, not the other way around. They all called him and apologized and said that they’d made a YOOOGE mistake…according to Trump anyway…

    • DahBoner

      VC, as in Venture Capitalists? He murders ’em in Bankruptcy court…

      • Legion32

        Outta the parkkkkk

    • TheBidenator

      I rate this comment to be both YOOOOOGGEEEE and classy.

    • ThePuckStopsHere

      And that, my friends, is the funniest thing I will read today. Yesterday’s winner was the Hitler Selfie. That just kicked my ass. Which is better? Is it even fair to compare literature and art? Asking for a friend.

      • Legion32

        Which article was the Hitler/Selfie comment under? I’m always in search of a good laugh

        • ThePuckStopsHere

          Fuck, it was in Monday’s comments which do not exist. I can’t remember the post but will try to think of it.

        • ThePuckStopsHere

          Stle, er, saved the picture tho.

          • Legion32

            Aww fuck man, that’s awesome. Gonna save that one to my phone haha

          • ThePuckStopsHere

            I know, right? Can’t find the commentator rom whom I would have stolen that were comments allowed. He needs a thank you card or something.

    • Gregory Brown

      Well played, sir. well played. And extra liked for the Carlos Hathcock II reference.

  • VandeGraf

    This vet will open a can of salmon bits in gravy for The Donnie. Here ‘lil Donnie, here kitty! Come getcher din din!

  • DahBoner

    We don’t know what medical issues he was having then, but maybe that’s when that thing with his hair started.

    Doc, you gotta feel this growth on the top of my head. It’s as fine as a motherfucking pussy…
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/tLIYkp9rxq5dC/200_s.gif

  • Callyson

    And the scale goes off again…,

  • cousin itt

    This is all a lie. The Viet Cong captured Trump and sent him home just to get back at us for bombing the shit out of them.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Alex Jones on line 2. Wants to use that in his next broadcast.

  • VandeGraf

    It would be interesting to see (T)rump with a basic training haircut. He does sorta look like a wuss, but without hair? Probably would spend his time crying during bayonet training and wound up as Trainee of the Recycle!

  • Ruhe

    Maybe he actually meant to say that he’s the most supercalimillitaristic-expyalladocious…which would still be quite atrocious.

    • r m reddicks

      that should bring us back to Doh!

  • Suse

    Donald Trump – the original Agent Orange.

  • Zippy

    Speaking of horse fuckers…

  • Ruhe

    Trump et al at the repub debates…#pussygalore.

  • georgiaburning

    Another Republican spouting off about how he would have won the war in Vietnam if only he wasn’t so busy avoiding it.

    • Zippy

      it’s what they do

      • CognizantImpiety

        Fucking Cheney. Grr.

    • TheBidenator

      They don’t call ’em chicken hawks because of the other implication for the term, after all….

      • r m reddicks

        It’d be nice to see the hawk in action.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Trump was so famous and militaristic, even back then, that Monsanto named it Agent Orange after him.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Puh-leeze! Agent Orange is the Speaker of the House.

  • coozledad

    Put silver wings on my son’s chest
    from Wharton school, then let it rest.
    He’d be a danger, anyway.
    give this douche his MBA.

    • cessnadriver

      THIS is why I love Wonkette!

  • BearGHAZI

    you can get a medical deferral for micropenis now?

    • r m reddicks

      could have been the rat head. They don’t want you to buddy up until after.

      • nmmagyar

        Boca Raton Libel!

  • TheBidenator

    The five deferments are just the classic Trump skunkhead ruse….in fact he was ova there, being both YOOOOGGGEEE and classy and was personally responsible for killing 300,000 Vietnamese. Part of Nixon’s secret peace plan was withdrawing Trump because he scared the NVA too much and Nixon knew we’d never get a peace treaty while the Donald was over there, slayin.
    READ A BOOK, SHEEPLE!

  • Mavenmaven

    Hey, he’s tough against the Ayrabs and Messicans, but against the Vietnamese, he was a bit yella.

  • elpinche

    Aw man, Trump is not a lifeless stump in the Guadalupe desert yet?

  • Narcissa Trump probably figures wars are for lesser people to fight.

  • proudgrampa

    That guy… A real class act.*
    *You do know I am being ironic, yes?

  • r m reddicks

    I want to see his birth certificate – the real one – to see if 356 was his number.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReklDIQS-n8

    • Virginia Dreaming

      It might be his credit score.

  • CognizantImpiety

    The Donald walks into a doctor’s office. The doctor says, “What’s the problem?” The Donald’s hair says, “Doc, can you get this hemorrhoid off my ass”?

    • eddi

      Comment of the day. I don’t care how old the joke is.

  • Virginia Dreaming

    You know damn well that if El Chapo does get caught, Donald Trump will try to take some of the credit for his capture.

    • chazmanr

      I also suspect that the tweets from El Chapo didn’t actually originate from El Chapo, but rather from a computer being used by someone in ferret-head’s employ. It would be nice if twitter would release the sending IP address.

      • richardgrabman

        Of course it’s a fake. Mexican love mordant jokes, and the Chapo escape is just too funny for us to not turn into a fake twitter feed

        .

    • Legion32

      “I brought him out of hiding”

  • george gonzalez

    Ho hum, Trump too?

    You’re forgetting all the other chickenhawks, all real ardent war-whoopsters:

    Dick Cheney,

    Bill O’Reilly,

    Mitch McConnell,

    Trent Lott

    Jon Kyl

    John Cornyn

    John Ensign

    John Boehner

    House Minority Whip Roy Blunt

    House Republican Conerence Chair Adam Putnam

    House Republican Policy Committee Thaddeus McCotter

    National Republican Congressional Committee Chair Tom Cole

    Rudy Giuliani

    Mitt Romney

    Fred Thompson .

    Dennis Hastert

    Dick Armey

    Tom Delay

    Roy Blunt

    Bill Frist

    Rick Santorum

    GW Bush who spent 4 years of a 6-year NG hitch protecting Texas and NOT volunteeriong for Vietnam.

    John Ashcroft

    Jeb Bush

    Karl Rove

    Newt Gingrich

    Ronald Reagan

    Phil Gramm

    Sean Hannity

    Donald Trump

    Joe Scarborough

    Bill Kristol

    Tom Tancredo

    Dana Rorhbacher

    Vin Weber

    Mark Souder

    Ken Starr

    Bill Bennett

    Michael Steele

    J Edgar Hoover

    Paul Wolfowitz.

    Richard Perle.

    Douglas Feith.

    Eliot Abrams.

    Ari Fleischer.

    Andrew Card.

    Ken Adelman.

    Wayne LaPierre.

    Don Evans.

    Michael Ledeen.

    Lewis “Scooter” Libby.

    Frank J. Gaffney, Jr..

    John Bolton.

    Rudy Giuliani.

    George Pataki.

    Frank I. Luntz.

    Grover Norquist.

    David Alan Stockman.

    Roger Stone.

    Emmett Tyrrell, Jr..

    Gary Bauer.

    John G. Roberts, Jr..

    Clarence Thomas. .

    Antonin Scalia.

    Samuel Alito

    Rush Limbaugh

    Ben Stein

    David Limbaugh.

    George Will

    Pat Buchanan

    Pat Robertson

    James Taranto

    Sean Hannity (FOX).

    Bill O’Reilly: (FOX).

    Glenn Beck (FOX).

    Steve Doocy (FOX).

    Brian Kilmeade (FOX).

    Chris Wallace (FOX).

    Brit Hume (FOX).

    Roger Ailes (FOX).

    Carl Cameron (FOX).

    Matt Drudge.

    Ron Kessler = propagandist

    Marvin Olasky = propagandist

    Joe McQuaid = propagandist

    Steve Forbes

    Michael “Savage” Weiner

    Paul Gigot

    Bill Kristol

    Ralph Reed

    Michael Medved

    Charlie Daniels

    Jerry Falwell

    Alan Keyes

    Ted Nugent

    Chris Matthews

    Neil Boortz

    “P J” O’Rourke

    Paul Harvey

    Tony Snow

    Donn Tibbetts

    Dinesh D’Souza

    oh, I forgot a few. The Internet reminds me about:

    George Will

    Anne Coulter

    Neil Bush

    Laura Ingraham

    David Duke

    John Wayne

    Clint Eastwood

    Arnold Schwarzenegger

    Pat Buchanan

    Adam Sandler

    Taylor Swift

    Kid Rock

    John Voight

    Jack Kemp

    Andrew Breitbart

    Roger Clemens

    Frank Sinatra

    Pat Boone

    Dennis Miller

    Sylvester Stallone

    Brett Favre

    Tom Selleck

    Mel Gibson

    Bob Hope

    Pat Sayjak

    Tucker Carlson

    Kelsey Grammer

    Don Shula

    Dennis Prager

    Whew!

    • Suttree

      Basically aot,k.

    • natoslug

      In other words, AOT,K!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Ronald Reagan bravely fought WWII from the confines of Camp Roach. And imagined that, when viewing footage of the liberation of KZs in Germany, he had actually been there at the liberation of said KZs.

      Compare and contrast with Jimmy Stewart and Clark Gable, among others.

      • cessnadriver

        I do believe they called it “Fort Roach”.

        John Wayne bravely drove everyday from his boyfriend’s house to the studio where he pretended to be a soldier, for ‘Merka and the flag which makes him a true ‘Merkin hero!

      • Charles Cates

        One of my favorites is Eddie Albert of Green Acres fame. (He was a lifelong organic gardener.) His wiki:
        Prior to World War II,
        and before his film career, Albert had toured Mexico as a clown and
        high-wire artist with the Escalante Brothers Circus, but secretly worked
        for U.S. Army intelligence, photographing German U-boats in Mexican harbors.[7] On September 9, 1942, Albert enlisted in the United States Navy and was discharged in 1943 to accept an appointment as a lieutenant in the U.S. Naval Reserve. He was awarded the Bronze Star with Combat “V” for his actions during the invasion of Tarawa in November 1943, when, as the pilot of a U.S. Coast Guard landing craft, he rescued 47 Marines who were stranded offshore (and supervised the rescue of 30 others), while under heavy enemy machine-gun fire.

        • tex7

          That gave me the chills. Impressive.

      • Gregory Brown

        Ah yes, brigadier general Jimmy Stewart. Enlisted as a private, rose to colonel during WWII. Col. Stewart often made it a point to fly the lead bomber, though he was not required to do so and kept assigning himself to combat bombing missions long after he could have curled up behind a desk. After the war he remained in the reserves, and during his active duty periods, he remained current as a pilot of Boeing B-47 Stratojet and B-52 Stratofortress intercontinental bombers of the Strategic Air Command.

        • cessnadriver

          Gen. Stewart had to enlist as a private because he was so underweight!

          He already had a multi-engine rating and was exactly what the Air Corps were looking for.

          • Gregory Brown

            Very true. He had to pull strings and nag the crap out of people to get combat assignment rather than training stateside.

          • cessnadriver

            The military wanted to use celebrities for propaganda purposes, but a lot of guys like Stewart and Ted Williams wanted to go out and fight. John Wayne wanted to keep driving his Cadillac around LA and Reagan was safe and sound at Ft. Roach….but, who do we hear about as “American heroes”?

        • Unforgotten

          James Stewart had no issues doing KP as soon as he became a buck private.
          And all those stories you may hear about he playing a snob and refusing to take pictures with fans, from the 50’s on, are due to the partial hearing loss he got by flying those loud iron monsters… he really did not hear the fans!

          • Gregory Brown

            I never heard those stories, about the fans, but I do know that he was very firm about his military exploits not being publicized, a big reason why so few people know about them. When he returned from the war, instead of being lauded as a decorated war hero, he just wanted to be known as Jimmy Stewart, actor. I cannot imagine Stewart ever being deliberately mean to anyone.

          • Unforgotten

            He wasn’t, but imagine the scene: A guy sees James Stewart like across the street and yells ‘Hey, Mr. Stewart! A moment please!!!’ and there’s nothing preventing Simmy from hearing him, but he is solemnly ignored… that used to happen more than once a year. You had to be within his eyesight or else.
            PS: Did you know that he flew a mission or two in Vietnam? Me neither, until I checked his military record more closely…

          • Gregory Brown

            He went along on one Arc Light mission in a B-52 as an observer. His military career therefore spanned four decades. An amazing guy, a modest and genuine patriot.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Also, too, Pat Robertson was in fact a Marine officer. Now, admittedly, when he was being shipped to Korea, he bragged to those in the ward room that he wasn’t going into combat, that his dad the Senator would fix things so he’d get a job in Tokyo or something. And, sure enough, he did.

      Now, the problem with him was that when he was running for President in ’88, he was talking about how he was a Korean war combat veteran. It just so happened that Pete McCloskey was in that ward room when Pat boasted that he wouldn’t go into combat, and called Pat out on it. Pat sued McCloskey for libel. Too bad that the truth is an airtight defense for libel. The trial was scheduled to start on Super Tuesday, and Robertson realized he had no case, and dropped the suit the day before and paid McCloskey’s legal and other court costs. Robertson got clobbered on Super Tuesday and dropped out of the race.

      • Anarchy Pony

        Mmm, justice.

      • Gregory Brown

        That’s a beautiful story.

      • AnOuthouse

        Karma. It’s foreign and cruel.

    • Ergoetal

      Great list. Keep it handy and use it often.

    • bobbert

      Brett Favre?

    • The Other Tim

      Sajak kinda went to ‘Nam.

    • M H

      “The Aristocrats”!

    • Unforgotten

      Frank Sinatra? He was 4F (something about one eardrum, small stuff but enough to disqualify him as 4F). Respect ‘The Voice’!!!!

    • Equs_1776

      in other words, all of ’em, Katy!

    • Jukesgrrl

      Brilliant!

  • Antimassacree

    If only he had marched into the draft board and sung a verse or two of Alice’s Restaurant and marched out. That I would respect!

  • Joshua Norton

    Donald Trump promises to grow the DOD really long in back and then comb it over the trouble spots.

  • Incoming Ham

    He is a walking id.

    • Anarchy Pony

      He is a walking it.

      • Querolous

        The word “id” is latin for it.

        • Anarchy Pony

          Yes but id has a far more significant connotation in modern language that I think makes trump seem more intriguing than he deserves.

    • Run2Live

      iot.

    • Run2Live

      iot.

    • glennisw

      Actually, he’s a talking id.

  • Anarchy Pony

    Why should they go out to-oo fi-ight?
    They leave that all to the poor, yeaaah!
    Ba dum
    Bum bum bummmmm
    Ba dum
    Bum bum bummmmm.

  • Joshua Norton

    And of course Mark Halperin continues to shine as a colossal douche bag.

  • MrBlifil

    “Who wants to send somebody else’s kids to die America!!!” “WE DO WE DO WE DO!!!!1!!…oh wait…”

  • Spurning Beer

    He’s really rich, he’s really smart, he’s really militaristic. He should run for President.

    • eddi

      Of Iraq. They need a strong leader.

  • JoeChristmas

    Maybe he was busy defending the border.

    • eddi

      … of his estate… from poor folk. Accidentally got the gardener deported.

  • r m reddicks

    Considering his latest ad I’d like to offer him this. I’ll accept payment in post war marks please Donald.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1sEt3NjHNA

  • Charles Cates

    Whoever researched that should get the ones on Ted Nugent and every chickenhawk in Congress. Starting with McCain and McConnell.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Pretty sure you can’t classify McCain as a chickenhawk. Whatever you can say about his warmongering, on the record he’s the real deal.

      • Charles Cates

        You’re completely right and I’m wrong. As my defense I just had my afterwork ‘bowl’ and one of the kittens was messing with the keyboard. (They always do.)
        McCain has my admiration. I’d like to see his medical records though.

        • The Other Tim

          Google “wet start.”

          • Charles Cates

            I knew he was the ship at the time and only recently read something about him being on deck in his jet. I’ve seen the video of the chief that jumped on the wing of a burning jet to assist the pilot just as it exploded in a fireball.

            His high school classmates referred to him as ‘McNasty’.

      • AnOuthouse

        The real crasher of several expensive fighter jets. Plus all those civilians he bombed in North Vietnam. A real hero.

      • bbayliss

        The other POW’s referred to him as “the canary”.

      • tex7

        Actually, McCain’s actual Vietnam war experience has been reported only once, by Rolling Stone magazine. Once McCain was shot down, he traded favors with the North Vietnamese in exchange for better medical treatment, favors that his follow detainees weren’t valuable enough to offer. McCain was an active admiral’s son and he made Tokyo Rose radio tapes for the N. Vietnamese government for broadcast to US G.I.s and the Vietnamese public. He was used for propaganda. Some of the men who were detained with him still hate him for cutting a deal that they couldn’t or wouldn’t, them not being admirals’ sons or unwilling to turn against their own country.

  • MadMoh

    Donald Toad

    • Blank Ron

      Remarkable likeness!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I think it’s really great the way Trump’s kids served in the military.

    oh. wait.

  • Me not sure

    Add moral bankruptcy to his others.

    • Ulricii

      Me not sure about that, Me Not Sure. Doesn’t it require some original moral value to go morally bankrupt at a later date? I think Trump lacks that original standing.

      • Me not sure

        You can’t leverage morality, who knew?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    My oldest brother is about the same age as Le Donald. The minute he graduated from college, they scooped his ass up and sent him to Viet Nam. Of course, our family net worth was just a LITTLE below the Trumps.

    • Ulricii

      My guess is that your family value, on the other hand, was multiples ABOVE the Trumps. Or Tramps. Or Dumps. Or however it’s spelled

  • smitallica

    His militaristic plan against ISIS is to bomb Iraq until all the oil catches fire and then they will have no oil.

    No, seriously. That’s his fucking plan.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    I’m waiting for the real showdown: El Chapo vs. El Chumpo. Chumpo is no doubt hiding in his closet with his hair pet.

  • WIDTAP

    Somebody please start a GoFundMe to buy one of these for each delegate to the Republican Convention.

  • Ulricii

    I’ve always thought being a chicken hawk was a basic requirement for advancing up the GOP hierarchy. There’s King Ronnie who served in WWII by donning GI garb in Hollywood; Dick Cheney who was “too busy with other stuff” to serve during the Vietnam Era; George Dub who took an early out in the Vietnam Era to do political stuff, and that whole crew of Neo-Con slackers in Rumsfeld’s Defense Department who pasted together the war for other guys to fight in Iraq.

    Sounds to me like the Donald fits right in.

  • Serolf Divad

    Hey, guys, shhhh…. we want Trump to be the nominee.

    • crisptickle

      In 1980 the idea of a former B-movie actor becoming president seemed too absurd to become reality. Now it’s 2016.

  • AnOuthouse

    What a huuuuuuge pussy. Tremendous even.

  • 24601

    Stop, Evan. You had me at Bombastic semi-human dipshit.

  • glennisw

    “Militaristic.” I don’t think it means what he thinks it means.

    • eddi

      Judging by the picture, he knows what it means. Dolphie and Donald do have something in common. Everybody laughed when they announced their candidacy. Just sayin’

    • Lizzietish81

      In that he likes wars and will send poor kids to fight them

  • zerosumgame0005

    Just one more chicken-hawk wannabe war crimer

  • handyhippie65

    he was one step away from going full on ted nugent and needing a block of instruction on potty training. prolly a good thing he didn’t go. no telling how many american lives were spared by not having to lead LT. trump through the jungle..

  • Ducksworthy

    “we don’t know what medical issues he was having”. Silly. He was the son of a rich person. That automatically made him ineligible for the draft for medical reasons.

    • OldMayfly

      Republican ladies in Alabama remember W. “helping” with a political campaign there. He was supposed to be at a national guard base in TX. Apparently W. wasn’t doing much work in Alabama either. Word was he showed up at campaign hdqrs late and hung-over.

  • AnnieW

    Well obviously he had other priorities, like Cheney. Making $$$$. I have no doubt other posters downthread of me have said similar, I just haven’t read that far yet.

    • crabbyolddad

      And let us not forget W. He too was a pussy when it came to military service. He supposedly did serve, but nobody seems to recall exactly what he did or where he was.

      I know where I was. Right up on the DMZ carrying a fucking M16, 1969-1970. 11B which is military speak for Infantry.

  • Markuserektus

    So militaristic that that Nazi dudes were included in his campaign tweet. Bad intern or Freudian slip?

    • eddi

      Thank you. I just heard about this picture. (late starter) “Springtime For Donald” is the theme for this article.

    • OneYieldRegular

      The truth will out. Not only that, but this may well be the worst case of flag desecration I’ve ever seen.

    • Walter Wellstone

      I say subliminal porn for his target voters.

  • John Lupien

    I feel sad for the Trump family. Perhaps for political reasons El Chapo will have mercy on him,
    but the record does not support such a prediction. Maybe not the entire family, I mean about
    being sad…

    • Walter Wellstone

      I would not fuck with Chapo Guzman if I were Trump. That dude ain’t playin’.

      • tex7

        Absolutely my thought. I live across the border from Cd. Juarez. The narcos don’t mess around, although all el Chapo has to do is read the media to see what a joke Trump is. Then again, Mexicans are very patriotic and really resent what Trump has said. I guess if he becomes president, he won’t be taking any trips to summits in Mexico.

  • Ya know, he could win the GOP nomination and. . . . that would be the greatest fucking thing ever.

  • Theodora30

    You must not understand the rules. Avoiding combat with deferments or National Guard service is not a problem for those who supported the war, only those like Clinton who didn’t. Clinton did exactly what Trump did, minus the medical deferment. He eventually decided to forgo deferments and leave his name in the draft pool. He got a high number in the lottery. He, but not Cheney, Bush, Rove, had to deal with accusations of being a draft dodger ’cause we all know expecting others to fight in a war you strongly support is OK if you are a Republican. Cheney getting away with the explanation that he had other priorities says it all.

    • Legion32

      Good points but there’s a part of me that wonders if it was Clinton who didn’t follow the rules? I can’t remember which rule it is but one is NOT to take an honest stand aginst war – people are expected to publicly support every war and then weasel their way out of serving in it. It’s in the book!

      • Theodora30

        That seems to be the media rules which explains why only Clinton was excoriated for not serving in Vietnam. Of course if he had that would have been turned against him. Look what the right did to Kerry and how little the media did to debunk their despicable lies about his genuine heroism.

        • Legion32

          I’m glad that somebody gets my sarcasm! ;-) All snark aside, I agree with you 100% on Clinton but Kerry…never liked the dude and hated the Swift Boat folks. Always thought he (Kerry) was a jackass, although he would have likely made a better pres than Bush or more likely, more of the same. Bottom line is he also voted for the Iraq war resolution and as such, can eat a bowl. Also agree with you on the media but the media did a fair job at putting out the facts of Kerry’s awards. I’m not sure the media is to blame for Kerry.

          There should have been a legitimate question regarding Kerry’s awards because he was running as a decorated vet but and I say BUT! The swiftboat people were deplorable tools. I’ll be the first to tell you how many tough sounding conservative types I’ve known who backed down when their time came to serve or who embellish their records to this day. Kerry was brave as hell to join the fight as a frontline troop, a lot braver than rightwing chicken hawks who’ve been banging the war drums for the past generation. He’s also a complicated dude like the rest of us who may have ran too hard on a questionably inflated record. He also voted for Iraq II. For that vote alone he is either a coward, an opportunist or has piss poor judgment.

          I’m with you on Clinton though. I’ve never had a problem with him being against the war and writing to his civilian leadership stating it. He is the guy who made this former 22 yr old Army paratroop register as a Dem in Fayetteville, NC. I liked the fact that he didn’t believe in the Vietnam thing and even as young person displayed the courage to state why.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Trump did what his kind are supposed to do: watch the poors go off to war to defend freedom and liberty and liberty and freedom while they inherit their fathers’ money. That’s how things are. What country do you think this is?

  • Lizzietish81

    And will the super Military Fetishists be like, well fuck this guy? HAHAHA of COURSE not because they’re hypocrites!

  • Good thing Bill Clinton and Barak Obama were war heroes, eh?

    • tiredofdogma

      Don’t forget George “aWol” Bush and Dick “I’m too busy” Cheney.

      • sgtsmacks

        Hey dumb ass, Bush volunteered for Vietnam as an Air National Guard pilot, only wasn’t selected. He flew the very sophisticated F-102, something you probably are not even qualified to wash.

        • tiredofdogma

          Oooohhh, he ‘volunteered’ before he disapoeared.

          Plausible deniability for the gullible grunts. Mission Accomplished! Booya!

          And of course I’m not qualified to wash it. That’s for the enlisted ranks and crummy contractors.

    • Theodora30

      John Kerry was and the Republican chickenhawks trashed him by lying about his record. He is still serving this country with honor, as the Iran nuke deal clearly shows – not that anyone cares.

      • Um, Kerry wasn’t anything close to a war hero. He wore a uniform, but that’s about it.

        • Drew Miner

          When you enlist in the military you put yourself at their disposal. Their is no dishonor in being chosen for something other than battle. The fact that you enlisted is quite enough to distinguish you as a man. It also separates you from those whom’s closest brush with bravery, is when they puff up their chests while impugning the honor of other, better, men; from the safety of their armchair.

          • Agreed. But we’re talking about the proper use of the word “hero” not military honor.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    What’s worse, draft dodging chicken-hawks like Cheney and Trump, or Iraq veterans like Dan Sullivan (R-AK,) Joni Ernst (R-IA,) and Tom Cotton (R-AR?)

  • mcnc

    Putting the SS back in business (saw that on the internets)

  • whitroth

    Now, wait a minute: he was in Philly, and running around Univ City? Ugh, polluting my home town.

    On the other hand, 1-Y was what I got, and was “uncallable, except if the Vietcong are sailing junks up the Delaware River”.

    It may *say* “medical”, but it was their catch-all for “we *really* don’t want any part of you”. And if anyone runs into me at, say, a con, and wants to listen for 10-12 minutes, I’ll cheerfully tell you my own personal version of Alice’s Restaurant, in two part harmony an’ feelin’.

    mark

    • Blank Ron

      I might just take you up on that. Which con?

  • DAK27

    So Trump and Ted Nugent are one and the same, huh? Just as I thought, like all Republicans they are all talk and no walk. However, with that being said I hope and pray that Trump gets the nomination as he really does speak for the GOP. Trump is their POSTER BOY, their MOUTH PIECE and their PRIDE and JOY so he NEEDS to be the nominee as he IS THE REPUBLICAN PARTY!!

  • Charles Wolf

    We don’t know what medical issues he was having then
    His dick was too small.

    In those days if you could stand up without crutches, you were declared 1A,,, meaning You’re in the Army now boy!
    At the draft board, after all the regular tests that everyone always passed, they lined up all the naked draftees and the militarists did a final dick inspection before announcing the results.

  • mikeland1000

    Don’t fret, turd relief is on the way.
    http://wikisend.com/download/190076/#Current.iim
    Then load into Imacro for Firefox.

    It votes down Cessnadriver more than 100 times for posted comments.

  • Drew Miner

    I’m pretty sure the donald trump hair is the fur of the critter of what McRibblets are made from. In my mind I can see a hunting scene, much like the ones in bugs bunney cartoons, Except it’s like john McCain and Cindy McCain and even saucy Meghan McCain all ina tall striped, floppidy hats chasing the things of donald trump hair of what McRibblets are made from, which is also Donald. With the yelling and the tweeting, and the donald trump hairs running and scampering and climbing of trees much in the manner of a sloth.

  • yaymccheeks

    Trump got his deferment when physicians discovered he was inexplicably so inflated with gas that he might have been a danger to his unit.

  • William Urmson

    I’m not a fan of Trump but I believe he was right about John McCain not being a hero. It doesn’t make you a hero to be captured it only makes you stupid. John Kerry is a certified war hero. Remember McCain’s the guy that wanted to make an air headed cheerleader VP. Very irresponsible, very stupid. I wrote this song back in 2008 called The Sarah Palin Smackdown but it slams McCain every bit as much maybe more. Please listen to The Sarah Palin/John McCain Smackdown. Trump finally got one right~ WJU

    https://www.reverbnation.com/williamjurmson/song/21278353-the-sarah-palin-smackdown

    • not ted danson

      All it takes is a little Googling to find out that yes, he was a war hero, aside from getting captured (which happened because his plane was downed, not because he was ‘stupid’). The things he’s done since do not negate what he did back then. As a lib, i’m definitely no fan of John McCain, and him foisting Sarah Palin on our country is almost unforgivable. But the dude was a war hero, and he endured a lot of shit over there for his country.

      And just because Trump is technically correct every once in a while (which he wasn’t on McCain), does not mean that he’s ever right. No matter what he does, Trump is always wrong.

    • Joe Schmuccatelli

      You are a nincompoop.

  • So Trump insults McCain for being captured in a war he got multiple deferments to avoid, and didn’t think anyone would ask him what he was doing during the Vietnam War. The man is a jackass, much like the man he insulted.

    We wonder what his pathetic excuse will be…

    Trump Says He Is Now Ready to Serve in Vietnam War as POTUS
    http://www.theniladmirari.com/2015/07/trump-says-he-is-now-ready-to-serve-in.html

  • Steve E Ames

    Why he would fire them of course

  • Romy

    What heroic deed had John McCain performed in Vietnam? name one…. More…

  • Mimihaha

    If you can’t think of anything worse to call someone than a rude word for a part of the female anatomy, maybe you’re in the wrong business.

    • CommShooter

      Oh the irony in that statement.

  • Frank Lazar

    Trump realized early on the essential truth of history. Wars are started by the rich, and the poor are conscripted to fight them.

  • Frank Lazar

    Actually I find it poetic justice that McCain is receiving his share of the medicine his followers forced down John Kerry’s throat.

  • Duke Dookerson

    I notice his poll numbers with veterans and military are very, very strong. For what it’s worth, I’m a former paratrooper and Gulf War vet, it doesn’t bother me that he didn’t serve. I think vets like him because for all his ridiculousness and bloviating populism, he doesn’t want endless military interventions all over the globe via Bush/Clinton/Bush/Obama

Previous articleMan Nabbed In Horsef*cking Sting, Not Even From Florida
Next articleButthurt Missouri County Decides To Stop Being Butthurt, For The Troops