Former Rep. John Dingell Bored At Airport, Wins Internet All Over Again

It has been well Wonk-stablished that Former Michigan Rep. John Dingell (D-Badass) is the best congressional Tweeter ever, past, present or future. Like remember that time former Rep. Aaron Schock (R-Hey Gurl) resigned from Congress, and Dingell, all eighty-nine years of him, tweeted this? 

Or that other time when, in honor of Constitution Day, he threatened to tweet the whole Constitution? He's GOOD AT INTERNETS, y'all.

Yeah well, he ain't in Congress no more, but his wife Debbie Dingell is keeping his seat warm for him, and goddamn, it is Friday, has Congress not gotten out for the weekend yet? When is she going to show up at this airport?

BORING. Guess he'll have to entertain himself for a while:

Hahaha, GOT IT. You buy candy, but fuck those dying "newspapers," what do they even do? Of course, people are Twitter are always like "stealing is wrong!" and "that's a microaggression on newspapers!", so he had to clarify that he was just makin' a silly:

Whew, we were worried he was going to get arrested for thieving before Debbie arrived! Dum-de-dum, waiting, bored, waiting, bored, look at watch, eat all the candy, steal every newspaper in America, WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?

BYE FELICIA DINGELL!

One hour later, having heard no reply, figured he'd send a picture, just in case his wife didn't know what he meant by "this plane and I." This is the specific plane he's leaving you on, Miss Congresslady Of His Heart!

Finally, Rep. Debbie Dingell decided to reply to her bored husband, and was adorably amused with his antics, WE LOVE BOTH THESE PEOPLE AND WANT TO GAY-MARRY THEM RIGHT NOW.

ALLEGEDLY stole a newspaper. He'll never tell.

Of course, this is all in the news now, which led Dingell to twitter-twatter one more time:

That's right, because you're fucking delightful and you make all our days better, now have a safe trip home, you two lovebirds.

[ John Dingell on Twitter   via   The Hill ]