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They work!

Who would have guessed that the “pro-life” sex education plan, which is essentially “do not have sex ever, you whore,” doesn’t work? Everyone would have guessed that! But Colorado has a lesson to teach America about what DOES work, and it is free birth control for everyone, so that ladies can do sex without worrying about unplanned pregnancies. We’re not sure the religious right will like this news, because it also means that ladies can do sex without asking their permission:

Over the past six years, Colorado has conducted one of the largest ever real-life experiments with long-acting birth control. If teenagers and poor women were offered free intrauterine devices and implants that prevent pregnancy for years, state officials asked, would those women choose them?

They did in a big way, and the results were startling. The birthrate for teenagers across the state plunged by 40 percent from 2009 to 2013, while their rate of abortions fell by 42 percent, according to the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment. There was a similar decline in births for another group particularly vulnerable to unplanned pregnancies: unmarried women under 25 who have not finished high school.

Stunning! Because, despite what Republican lawmakers, the self-appointed hall monitors of America’s womb parts, seem to believe, the fact has always been that teenagers fuck each other. They just do, and they have in every society that has ever existed, due to their dumb, non-functioning hormonal brains. So it is a good idea to keep them from getting pregnant, so that they can go on to become responsible adults and have kids when they’re ready, instead of trapping them in a cycle of poverty forever.

The Times reports that in the poorest sections of Colorado, the average age a woman gives birth for the first time has jumped from 21 all the way up to 24, which “gives young women time to finish their educations and to gain a foothold in an increasingly competitive job market.” But if the ladies do that, how can we adequately shame them for being Slutty McSluttertons? Unfair.

Of course, this amazing success is in danger, because of course it’s in danger:

The private grant that funds the state program has started to run out, and while many young women are expected to be covered under the health care law, some plans have required payment or offered only certain methods, problems the Obama administration is trying to correct. What is more, only new plans are required to provide free contraception, so women on plans that predate the law may not qualify. (In 2014, about a quarter of people covered through their employers were on grandfathered plans, according to the Kaiser Family Foundation.) Advocates also worry that teenagers — who can currently get the devices at clinics confidentially — may be less likely to get the devices through their parents’ insurance. Long-acting devices can cost between $800 and $900.

Yes, because despite the fact that teens are always doing sex on each other, they don’t always want to tell their parents about it. Weird!

The program has been funded up to this point by grants from the uber-liberal Buffett family, but the Colorado Assembly wouldn’t step up and keep their money flowing, because SLUT PILLS or whatever. Maybe the folks who run the Colorado Springs-based Focus On The Family could step up and use their money for an actual good cause for once. They could say they’re actually doing something to decrease the abortion rate, for the first time in their lowly existence. They won’t do it, because they don’t actually care about unborned babbies as much as they care about controlling ladies’ sex parts, but it’s a good suggestion nonetheless.

[New York Times]

 

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  • Skwerl King

    What’s Bristol Palin’s take on this?

  • PubOption

    “There was a similar decline in births for
    another group particularly vulnerable to unplanned pregnancies:
    unmarried women under 25 who have not finished high school.”

    I note that Bristol Palin is 24. Should Alaska try the same plan.

    • Bob@Bob.com

      You gotta be smart enough to take advantage of the plan. Don’t know about you but I usually don’t hear the words “smart” and “Palin” in the same sentence…unless “not” is there too

      • SnarkOff

        Come on — “Plan” is just “Palin” without the letter I, and the L and the A reversed.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Or you can remove the L entirely, and make PAIN, which I somehow feel is more apropos.

  • Bob@Bob.com

    The fellas can do their part by smoking lots of weed. It makes the swimmers lazy.

    • cousin itt

      They do love the breast stroke.

  • JustPixelz

    “…their rate of abortions fell by 42 percent…”

    That argument would be persuasive if Republicans were truly anti-abortion. But they are locked into their forced birth policies.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      And their intense, psychotic desire to punish the sluts.

  • Lizzietish81

    Free condoms at every high school!

    • cousin itt

      Free Willy

      • FauxAntocles

        Both

    • lesterthegiantape

      This, of course, is the image that will be placed on mankind’s tomb.

      Probably by a robot from another universe that can turn into a Camaro.

  • AntiDerpomeme

    Those fiscally conservative types should be well pleased that there are fewer uneducated and poor single mothers with babies that their argle-bargle hard-earned tax dollars need to support. LOL, just kidding, of course they are outraged that women are having the sexxy times. That’s somehow way more important or something.

    • Bob@Bob.com

      But who will they look down upon?

      • D_C_Wilson

        Bristol Palin? Oh wait, she’s “brave” because, reasons.

  • CutterTeam

    Fuck you and your facts, logic, and statistical evidence. I want no part of it.

    Sincerely,

    The Republican Mind

    • willi0000000

      OBJECTION! . . . your use of the word “mind” presumes facts not in evidence.

      [ i’ve got reflex arcs smarter than republicans ]

  • JustPixelz

    Has anyone tried banning hugs? I read somewhere that that is 100% effective.

    • cousin itt

      Hugging just leads to tugging.

    • Bob@Bob.com

      Naw, just leads to rear entry

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I’m ok with that. I mean, if she is.

    • AngryBlakGuy

      …errrrr, yeah I’m not so sure about that

  • exinkwretch

    I can hear the fundies’ response right now: “The only number we need is 10 — The Ten Commandments!”

    • Nounverb911

      How Sharia of them.

    • Bob@Bob.com

      You’re a fucking genus Gump

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Crap like this makes me stabby and shooty.

    • Antimassacree

      Thought it was up to Eleven now.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Only if you’re Nigel Tufnel.

  • jviscont1

    in light of this news, Hobby Lobby will be relocating all their jobs to CO.

  • Vecciojohn

    It ain’t the babies, it’s the fucking. Babies are God’s way of punishing women for the sin of having sex. Birth control lets them fuck without consequences in clear contravention of god’s will. Now, I hear some woman have actually come to like sex. This is what led to the fall of the Roman Empire! (That and bathing too much.)

    • Thaumaturgist

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who understands these things. Including the Fall of the Roman Empire. But especially that children are God’s punishment for sex, and that rejecting God’s punishment is an even graver sin than sex.

    • Equs_1776

      That and going Christian, after which the Roman Gods fucked off and said ‘have fun with the Germans, jerks’

      • Vecciojohn

        The rot set in with Constantine.

        • Blank Ron

          Keanu Reeves isn’t THAT bad an actor.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …how else could the Republicans blame the failures of America on single parent homes if they got rid of all of the single parents?! Modern conservatism in this country is nothing more than vehicle to direct blame of your own failures on to someone else!

    -Can’t get a job? Blame affirmative action!
    -Can’t get a raise? Blame welfare queens!
    -Don’t want to pay your fair share of taxes? Blame single parent homes!

    • BeliTsari

      Can’t find your shriveled, useless dick, beneath all that lard? THANKS Obama!

    • sosuume

      They want a permanent underclass of cheap labor. Keeping women pregnant and their children poor accomplishes this quite well. Just look at 3rd world countries.

  • “I never had a problem refraining from sex when I was a teenager. It was my choice!” -Ted Cruz

    • Dudleydidwrong

      He’s still only dating his right hand.

    • Scribe57

      I would think it had more to do with the choice of the girl Teddy was trying, and failing, to have sex with

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Rafael couldn’t get laid. How unsurprising.

    • SadDemInTex

      I vomited a little in my mouth when I read that…

    • HogeyeGrex

      Keep telling yourself that.

  • schmannity

    Weed and contraception. It must suck to be an admissions officer at the University of Colorado these days.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Say, you know who else wanted to stifle the rate of reproduction among certain segments of the population?

    • schmannity

      Leave my high school dating life out of this.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Your girlfriend too? Bummer!

    • toomanyrappers

      Bob Barker?

    • calliecallie

      Captain Kirk?

    • Lord-Nash

      Bill Cosby?

  • PsycWench

    How are you going to maintain your main voting block if you support a policy that might increase the population of educated people?

  • SnarkOff

    Jimmy Buffet’s family funds birth control studies? Who knew.

    • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

      The inspiration was seeing multi-generational families of parrotheads.

    • Spurning Beer

      Something about “Lookin’ for my lost shaker of saltpeter.”

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I blew out my flip flop,

      Stepped on a pop top,

      Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home.

      But there’s booze in the blender,

      And soon it will render

      That frozen concoction that helps me hang on.

      • FauxAntocles

        something something It’s the woman’s own damn fault if she gets pregnant something something

    • mtn_philosoph

      I thought it was the Phoebe Buffet side of the family.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Because, despite what Republican lawmakers, the self-appointed hall monitors of America’s womb parts,…

    I got to go to the restroom, ma’am. Real bad.

    • Whale Chowder

      < waves hand fallopian tube wildly above his head uterus >
      I got to go to the restroom, ma’am. Real bad.

      Fix’d, for relevance.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    “So it is a good idea to keep them from getting pregnant, so that they can go on to become responsible adults and have kids when they’re ready, instead of trapping them in a cycle of poverty forever.”
    But if we stop all those Trump-labeled evil Messicans from ever setting foot in the US we’ll need cheap labor for our roofs, lawns, and housework. We don’t need no “responsible adults.” We need more desperate Amerikuns to do our dirty work. Ban the slut pills and such. You kidz just go fuck and don’t worry about no aborting.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      At the rate people are being evicted from the middle class, there’s no shortage of desperate ‘Merkins.

  • FauxAntocles

    As always, conservatives reject the practical and effective solution to the problem.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They’re about being moral scolds. It’s the center of their fucked-up lives. They cannot live and let live.

      This is why I want to vote them off the planet…nay, out of the galaxy.

      • willi0000000

        the Large and Small Magellanic Clouds are setting up border security as we speak.

        [ no word yet from the Andromeda Galaxy ]

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          They’re gonna need a yooooooge wall. I know just the person to send out in advance.

        • Blank Ron

          Customs and Immigration for z8 GND 5296 is paying close attention as well. Can’t be too careful.

  • goonemeritus

    My mother just sent me to my first day of school in Lederhosen. I found it amazing how long the memories of my classmates were.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Child abuse if she didn’t shave your legs.

    • FauxAntocles

      I have to check whether my brother-in-law had a similar experience.

      • goonemeritus

        I can still hear my classmates humming songs from the Sound
        of Music whenever I was within earshot.

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      Cruel or clueless? Only your mother knows for sure.

  • jviscont1

    since CO GOP legislators can’t budget the program with without offsetting cuts, vasectomies comes to mind.

    • Antimassacree

      We got your offsetting ‘cuts’ right here. And bring your own goddamn bag of frozen peas.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I’d go for geldings, myself.

  • OneYieldRegular

    So in other words, 42% more abortions would have occurred if pro-life Colorado Republicans (or “murderers” to use the pro-life lexicon) had had their way,

    • Equs_1776

      72% more actually.

  • BillWestern

    I heard this issue come up on a right-wing talk show “Point of View”. A caller very calmly said doesn’t this seem like a good idea, reducing abortions and the cost to society. The host pivoted on a dime and said, basically, we need more children in the world, look at Greece, they don’t have enough young people to pay the pensions of retirees.

    Can’t win with these folks.

    • Thaumaturgist

      Unfortunately, the children of the poors, that will result from cutting off birth control, are going to vote Democrat when they grow up, and then theyre going to want to raise taxes, increase gubmint regulations and say we don’t need no more wars. Then what?

    • SpaceCaptainWarlock

      It’s a sporting event. Their team vs yours. Fuck intellectual honesty. They concede nothing. When a progressive program succeeds, it was either, somehow, their idea or they twist it so that it’s considered a failure. Even if they receive direct, measurable benefit, it doesn’t matter. Facts be damned in the high stakes game of politics. It’s about perception. Because when it comes down to it, most people will only accept the narrative that is most comfortable to them.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Before the folks handing out contraceptives pat themselves on the back, they should consider that over the same period of time, the rate of being ugly has increased four-fold in Colorado.

  • OooShiny

    Elsewhere, one commenter was outraged that said birthing controls were given to teens who wanted them without said teens’ parents’ permission.

    By show of hands, how many of ovaried Wonkettes got your parents’ permission before making the sexy-time, ever? Not permission to use birth control, but permission to have the actual sex. Boys don’t count in this survey because the bible clearly says “Thine boys shalt be boys, thus sayeth the Lord.”

    Okay I count exactly zero sexers getting mom and dad’s permission for said sexing. So if kids are not asking parental permission to have sex, what are the odds that same said kids will ever ask parental permission for farking birth control?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      And who the hell wants to talk to their kids about the boyfriends/girlfriends they may or may not be sexing? I, for one, would be GLAD to have the state/city/whatever handing out the birth control. I’ll talk to my kids about sex in the abstract, no problem. But I do NOT want to have to hand my daughter a pack of birth control pills or condoms and say “these are for you and Steve.” Gaahh!!!

      • Oh, sure, Steves are nice enough, but would you wouldn’t want your daughter bringing one home…

        • Villago Delenda Est

          The real problem starts when she moves on from Steves to Mikes, Richards, and…brace yourself…Joshes.

          • YayConspiracy

            No! Not Josh!

          • HogeyeGrex

            Well, as long as it’s not every Tom, Dick and Harry.

      • BeatriceC

        Maybe it’s easier because I’m a mom* and have boys, but my house is kept stocked with condoms (stash refilled regularly, no questions asked), Plan B and home pregnancy tests (my boys have girlfriends who may not have parents who they can turn to in case of emergency). Those emergency supplies have been used once, and the girl involved was extremely grateful to have a nonjudgmental adult helping her out, even though she was initially rather upset with my son for getting me involved. My state has laws that help teen girls get BC without the knowledge/consent of their parents, and you bet your bottom I’d help a girl get to those services without a second thought if she asked me.

        *I’m assuming from the name and comments that you’re a dad of daughters. Forgive me if I’m wrong.

    • janecita

      I sure as hell didn’t! My mom cried when she asked me if I was a virgin and I said no:-( I was almost 18 at the time.

      • Catstro

        My mom cried when she found out I was using tampons because she believed that I was no longer a virgin. Not like, shoving a tampon in my vagina was proof that I was cool with shoving other things (dicks!) in there, too. Like, the actual tampon had somehow taken my virginity. I seriously have no idea how I ended up with a sex-positive attitude.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Did you and Carrie have the same mom?

          • Catstro

            Somehow I missed both seeing AND reading Carrie (weird because I devoured all of his other books from that time period). So, I use teh Googles, and Wikipedia informs me that yeah, my mom was pretty much the mom in Carrie. She also wouldn’t let me go back to VBS at the Methodist church because she found out they had a lady pastor. And she wouldn’t let me join Girl Scouts. I don’t think it was because they were feminist sluts-in-training. She just said she knew I’d drop out. Oh, and I begged to take ballet lessons but she made me take clogging lessons instead. My senior prom was a pretty good time, but maybe I’m risking getting some pigs blood dropped on my head if I go to my high school reunion?

          • lesterthegiantape

            DIRTY PILLOWS

          • Playonwords

            Do not knock clogging, especially not in Lancashire otherwise you’ll have The Cloggies after you

        • Herasmus B. Lyon

          Are you my sister?

          • Catstro

            I hope so, because I hate to think anyone else on the planet has been forced into clogging lessons.

            But you spelled everything in your post correctly, so probably not.

        • BeatriceC

          Are we sisters? I had to save quarters to buy tampons from the vending machine in the ladies room at church so I could have tampons, since my mother thought the same way yours did.

      • lesterthegiantape

        *almost 18 = 15 and three months

        • janecita

          Philip, is this you?

          • lesterthegiantape

            OMG did I just step into some horrifying role from your past life? [re-enacts shower scene from Crying Game]

    • Callyson

      One of the best things my mom did for me was to tell me that when I started having sex, I should go to her and we would go to Planned Parenthood together.

      No, of course I didn’t do that (tell Mom that is–of course I got BC), but I was glad to know that she wasn’t going to freak out when that day came. Thanks, Mom!

    • lesterthegiantape

      I had to get permission, but I was having sex with my Mom so it would have been weird not to ask.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I haven’t been a teenager for so long it doesn’t even help to take my shoes off to count anymore, but the idea of telling my parents I was having sex – jaysus. I still haven’t broken the news.

      • minidriver

        I will have you know that my parents never had sex.

    • Truthiness2U

      My mom, and grandmother for that matter, would have been beyond fine if I announced I wanted to start having sex in high school. With girls or boys (both), wouldn’t have mattered to them. My mom would have provided me with birth control, as she provided condoms to brother when he was sexually active in high school. But that’s my godless commie pinko hippie Librul childhood. We told we should wait until we were in love (that it’s better when you’re in love), and ideally be older than high school, but sex was fine, as long as we were safe. Ironically I’m an Ace, so unlike Bristol I actually live a life of (godless) abstinence just fine.

    • dshwa

      I do know a few sets of parents who have let their kid’s significant others sleep over at their houses in the same bed, but they’re all realistic liberals who figured “they’re gonna do the sexytimes anyways (bcause we sure as hell did) so what does it matter?” It also meant honest conversations about birth control and safe sex.

      • BeatriceC

        I wouldn’t go so far as to let my sons’ girlfriends sleep over in the same bed (I do have some limits), but I have allowed a particular girlfriend to say over a few times due to extraordinary circumstances. However, they all (my sons and their girlfriends) get very honest and open conversations about sex and birth control and know my house is a safe place in case of emergency.

  • Aileen

    It’s estimated that for every dollar spent on that program, the state saved $5.80. There is literally no good reason not to keep funding it.

    • natoslug

      Basing funding on good reasons is unamerican. We like our crumbling infrastructure and hate-based decision making, TYVM. If you can’t kick someone while they’re down, who CAN you kick?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The human sewage that constitutes “Focus on the Family” does not care about the utilitarian justification for the program; they care about the “moral” issues, which are that these sluts are having sexytime and not facing the consequences that Dobson and his howler monkey followers want to impose on the sluts.

      • minidriver

        Yeah, only rich white men are allowed to enjoy sex.
        /snark

        • Blank Ron

          Thank you for making me imagine rich white men having sex. Ew.

  • Vienna Woods

    “The birthrate for teenagers across the state plunged by 40 percent from 2009 to 2013, while their rate of abortions fell by 42 percent”
    That is seriously stunning good news. Rest of the world, get on that NOW!!

    • Callyson

      Seriously. Paging Jerry Brown as I type this…

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “That is seriously stunning good news” Not if you’re in the business of grifting fundies.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Or in the business of “counseling” pregnant young women to keep them that way. But I repeat yourself.

        • minidriver

          Too bad we can’t require “Pregnancy Crisis Centers” to meet the ambulatory surgical requirements they pushed on abortion clinics.

    • That’s the thing. The “Rest of the world” (ok parts of it at least) has ALREADY been “on that” for a while now. As usual the US is the one that’s late to the table (while insisting that it’s right on time.)

  • essbird

    The actual grifters who run Focus on the Family don’t care about babbies, and they don’t actually care about ladyparts. What they care about is that you care about these things so you will keep sending them your muneez to fight the good fight. Always, once something gets bigger than your PTA or local food coop, follow the money.

    • toomanyrappers

      Yep. It’s really about making sure that rich white men stay rich and in control. Everything else is just bullshit.

      …and their co-conspirators: the neoliberals. The ones that figured out they can get elected fighting the soft culture wars and use it as cover to maintain the economic status quo.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Pretending to fight.

        If they ever actually overturned Roe v Wade, the jig would be up.

  • VandeGraf

    Everyone on Colorado is apparently on the Road to Perdition. It is well known in Creation Science circles that to be godly you have to be fertile and willing, but then just say no. Creation Science Fack: any interruption of fecundity except not doing it like a bunny is evil. One of these days Jeebus will come back with a squad of heavenly biotesters and lab the shit outa everyone to find who could, but didn’t. He’d do it for free, but with Obamacare he’s planning to make some jingle. He’s tired of not having change for the heavenly Pepsi machines.

    • lesterthegiantape

      Coke has the Paradise franchise. Nduh!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    We’re not sure the religious right will like this news, because it also
    means that ladies can do sex without asking their permission

    And here is the TRUE issue here. It’s all about those damn sluts having sexytime and thus driving the broomstick-up-the-ass crew bonkers. Someone, somewhere, is having fun, and they just cannot stand it!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      And I can’t stand it either! But at least I have the good sense to keep my mouth shut about it.

      Except for now, that is. Ahem. Carry on, you perverts.

      • lesterthegiantape

        It’s the ‘Lance Thrustwell’ that really sells this.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Hey! Don’t you make fun of my self-created retarded-adolescent internet handle, you big ape. Btw, I noticed that the original article didn’t say anywhere that Republicans were actively opposing re-funding the initiative. But I suppose it’s a safe assumption.

  • Whale Chowder

    Oh sure…emphasize the upside of this program. But who’s going to police the fucking and dole out the opprobrium without the babbies to keep score on, huh? Ya gotta think ahead here.

  • Callyson

    Maybe the folks who run the Colorado Springs-based Focus On The Family could step up and use their money for an actual good cause for once

    • eddi

      That hurts.

    • splashy79

      Yes!

  • Playonwords

    The only real problem is that the Abstinence Only freaks say that all birth control works by causing abortions. The actual facts about the mode of working are ignored because Lie-brul Scientists lie because they want to kill baybeez for Beelzebub.

    • clever_sobriquet

      Well, we atheists do have to eat.

      • Playonwords

        And remember that we want rejuvenating lotions … :-)

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Sure the rate of abortions fell by 42 percent . . . but that’s not actually what the reilgious fucknuts are all about.

    • splashy79

      Nope. They are sadists that want easy prey to use and abuse. This gets in the way.

  • SecludedCompound

    I really is just that they don’t want to have anything do do with anything that has been empirically observed to be factually correct, help the common good, or, you know, work,

    It’s seriously become a policy position for the right wing to just be incorrect.

  • Pugsandcoffee

    Fuck these guys right in their tiny little dickholes.

    • blaid droog

      if I may, a modest proposal. I have heard of a torture technique employed by the nazi’s. insert a glass rod into the urethra and then break it. there must thousands of wingnuts in office who would quickly come round to believing in birth control.

  • lesterthegiantape

    Pleasure = bad. Denial and suffering = good. That’s all the math they really need.

    • toomanyrappers

      Conservatives don’t deny themselves anything. They are the most selfish, hypocritical, and hedonistic people on the planet.

      In a word: assholes.

      • lesterthegiantape

        They deny they’re gay. That’s something.

        • HogeyeGrex

          Only in public.

  • Me not sure

    From a purely humanistic point of view, providing contraception is both the intelligent and moral response to the need to prevent unwanted pregnancies.
    It is therefore predictable that religious fundamentalists with their external, magically derived, moral strictures will oppose it.

    • Kat Anyperson

      The religious right opposes contraception and birth control because the Oligarchs and the Theocracts *need* women to be babby pez dispensers. Keep em dumb, keep em oppressed, keep em popping out children that they can’t afford.It ensures a permanent underclass of Poors that they can use for slave labor.

      • Me not sure

        I hate Pez. They suck. I will now shake a symbolic fist at said Oligarchs and Theocrats, because they suck too.

    • mailman27

      Also, too from a purely realistic point of view. These fucking people.

  • atalex

    At this point, I think the question needs to be asked: Are all Republicans sadists and sociopaths? Or is it just a plurality and the rest goes along because they think they’ll get a tax cut out of it?

    • YayConspiracy

      “the question needs to be asked: Are all Republicans sadists and sociopaths?” Is the pope catholic?

      • atalex

        The current pope? If you asked Shiite Catholics like Rick Santorum, William Donahue, and the five conservative SCOTUS Justices, I suspect the answer would be “no, he’s too squishy to be a Catholic.”

        • eddi

          Francis is hinting at approving divorce for no cause. The head explosions at Conservative Catholic Central will set off seismometer alarms in Beijing.

          Not sure about birth control, he may save that until the day before he retires to avoid excommunication before then.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      AOTK

  • aureolaborealis

    I think what we have here is a tell: They say they just want abortion to go away. But when abortion starts going away, we see that they are not happy. They are not happy because this thing that they hate is going away because of an increase in that other thing that they hate, but are mostly too canny to publicly declare war on.

    • SadDemInTex

      They want half the population to be pregnant and uneducated, poor and easily manipulated, working for shit wages. And they especially would prefer that ALL the browns and blahs be in that population of underclass forever. Win/win for the old white Xtian dicks.

  • YayConspiracy

    Bristol, how’s that abstinence-schmabstinence thing workin’ out for ya?

    • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

      How did it work for the mother of Jeezus?

  • SadDemInTex

    On face place one of my “friends” was horrified and deeply indignant about the idea that 11 year old girls in Seattle could get IUDs (the article is a stupid word salad intending to shock)

    http://thefreethoughtproject.com/11-yo-girls-birth-control-devices-implanted-school-parents-knowing/

    because she didn’t want her daughter to EVER have a medical procedure without her knowledge. It was a decided hate fest with me saying if you don’t want your kids to be exposed to nefarious influences at school then homeschool so you can control every moment of their lives (look how well that worked at the Duggars…no don’t I just had lunch) This person called me arrogant because not everyone can manage to home school to solve this problem and something something getting child care was a nightmare something something. I know for a fact that their household income is something beyond $200k…which just goes to show that money is apparently no help in getting people to help you with your kids when you have no help from ANYONE.

    I am so tired of the vagina police. Because articles that absurd belong on Faux News.

    • Ok Gyna-cops! Arrest the lady with the Brazilian!

    • Ceci Pipe

      Liberty: Except for anyone and anything we control.

  • splashy79

    They are forced birthers, that want anyone that gets pregnant, no matter who or how, to give birth. They also want to make sure that if they have sex, no matter who or how, they are punished by being forced to give birth.

    They don’t really care about fetuses at all, they want to sadistically see girls and women suffer and be easy prey for abusive
    men with money.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Every time I have been in Denver over the last three years my friends there have taken me on a brew pub crawl. My impression looking at the younger patrons of these fine establishments was always there must be a lot of mile high f*king going on. I guess my impression was correct.

  • Jeffrey Barber

    My issue is these Republitards want every woman who is pregnant to give birth to their babies. Yet at the same time they take away all means of support, SNAP, Medicare you name it. There is no support from the Republican side for the care of these babies. Hypocrisy in the greatest degree.

    • LegionOfDo

      Republicans love unfunded mandates, so this fits right in.

  • kfreed

    Focus on the Family should step up and provide the funding? That’s not even good snark. Focus on the Family and their Tea Party lunatics are the reason the birth control program is in the tank (with an assist from progressives’ libertarian pals, natch): http://valerietarico.com/2015/02/18/the-junk-science-and-bad-faith-behind-colorados-iud-controversy/

  • VandeGraf

    Getting screwed, conceiving, aborting, over and over! It’s…it’s… it’s boring!

  • Doesn’t matter. Republicans don’t do facts.

  • tihond

    Channeling my winger uncle… “TEENS NOT GETTIN’ PREGNANT IS THE NEW HOLOCAUST!” Uhhh, my head hurts, I’m never doing that again.

  • Grokenstein

    Edited excerpt from Monty Python’s “Python Panel” (originally printed in one of their books–the faux-feces-smeared The Brand New Monty Python Papperbok, I believe):

    VICE-POPE: Oh. Well our main worry at this stage is intra-marital sex.
    PYTHON: Oh. Sex within the marriage.
    VICE-POPE: Oh yes! You see, it’s within marriage, people tend to forget, that most of this carnal knowing takes place.
    PYTHON: But that isn’t wrong from a Catholic point of view?
    VICE-POPE: Well, actually… it is. Yes. I mean we don’t often come straight out with it because our problem is that…like it or not, sex, at this moment in time, is still the best method we’ve got of reproducing ourselves. I mean we certainly recommend virgin births where possible, but we can’t rely on them, so for purely practical reasons we’ve been forced to turn a blind eye to intra-marital sex for the time being. But only of course for outnumbering purposes; not for fun.
    KRASZT: Which is why you will not allow any form of contraception.
    VICE-POPE: Exactly.
    FRAMPTON: But you allow the rhythm method!
    VICE-POPE: Ah, but only because it doesn’t work.
    PYTHON: But are you not worried that the population explosion may lead to greater poverty, disease and eventually war?
    VICE-POPE: Well you must remember, our concern is for the next world. So the quicker we can get people there the better.

    http://www.heretical.com/miscella/mppanel.html

  • Dog Gone

    The GOP and those even further right hate sex and don’t really give a damn about women or children. It parallels the way they give empty lip service to caring about our military, while screwing military families, like cutting food assistance etc.

    We’re under the tyranny of the new ignorant prudish Puritans.

  • splashy79

    They like easy prey, and desperate impoverished teens are the tastiest.

  • akita96th

    Not one republican goes to bed every night worrying about a bunch of teens who dont belong to them getting all knocked up n shit…All their battle cry’s over religion and family planning, abortion etc are just political BS….In reality they could care less if teens get abortions as long as the idiot lawmakers complain make speaches and cry about it gets them votes from the ignorant assBags of their base….Really people! they dont give a hairy ratz ass.

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