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That's it, moving to Canada.

Ehrmagerd, the Surperm Curt upheard Abummacurr! This was not met on the right with universal approbation, although many Republicans were quietly breathing a sigh of relief that they won’t have to reveal that their ready-to-implement fix was really just a copy of the 1996 Houston Yellow Pages that they’d been lugging around in a briefcase.

That doesn’t mean that Republicans were letting on that they were relieved the Supremes took the task of coming up with a fix off their hands. Not at all! Mike Huckabee seems to have been first out of the gate with an insta-reaction, calling the decision “an out-of-control act of judicial tyranny”:

“Our Founding Fathers didn’t create a ‘do-over’ provision in our Constitution that allows unelected Supreme Court justices the power to circumvent Congress and rewrite bad laws,” Huckabee said in a statement provided to The Washington Post.

“The Supreme Court cannot legislate from the bench, ignore the Constitution, and pass a multi-trillion dollar ‘fix’ to ObamaCare simply because Congress misread what the states would actually do,” his statement continued. “The architects and authors of ObamaCare were intentional in the way they wrote the law. The courts have no constitutional authority to rescue Congress from creating bad law. The solution is for Congress to admit they screwed up, repeal the ‘nightmare of Obamacare,’ and let states road-test real health care reforms.”

The Post notes that Huckabee took a break from campaigning in Iowa so he could “[pull] over at a gas station to review the court’s King v. Burwell ruling.” That’s true dedication to the news cycle!

Matt Drudge was apparently in a nihilistic mood over the whole thing, the poor dear:

drudge tweet ACA

And poor Antonin Scalia was so angry about the majority decision that he proclaimed in his dissent, “Words no longer have meaning if an Exchange that is not established by a State is ‘established by the State.’” We would comment on this, but banana dust intriguingly parses our kleptomaniac vertebrae. Moist colander prevails! Justice Scalia needs to ask himself: Has Anyone Really Been Far Even as Decided to Use Even Go Want to do Look More Like? Truly, we say, armadillo.

Rand Paul flugelhorned vibrantly, also too:

rand paul ACA case

Dear god, it’s a wholesale triumph of overall context and congressional intent over a drafting error! Cats and dogs living together!

Some doofus calling himself “@Patdissent” worries that since mere anarchy has been loosed upon the word, the center cannot hold, and now no one can ever simple English ever again!

business contracts

Liberty Hangout, which is what you get when Liberty Valance lets himself go, is pretty sure that this one decision proves that our hallowed system of government is doomed, doomed, doomed:

liberty hangout

Let’s see — Congress passed a law, the executive branch implemented it, and the Supreme Court interpreted it. Yep, obviously the system is broken beyond repair.

Michelle Malkin decided that it would make sense to cite constitutional scholar Cole Porter, because god knows the man’s amusing little ditty about changing mores was actually a dirge lamenting the loss of decency and the Rule of Law:

malkin anything goes

Egad! Nudist swimming parties, too?

Michele Bachmann recognized that America is OVER, exactly like it was over every time Barack Obama ever did or said anything. This country has been completely destroyed more often that Toho Studios’ scale models of Tokyo, and the SCOTUS has once again put on its rubber monster suit and stomped all over America:

bachmann ACA tweet

All those “millenias,” completely wasted. Much like we intend to become after reading a few more of these.

Professional victim and urine connoisseur Todd Starnes knows that the next step is … turning old people into Soylent Green, maybe?

starnes grandma

Or maybe the hospitals will just be so full of poor people on government health care that old folks, whose Medicare is not government healthcare at all, will be turned away?

And Dr. Ben Carson, who apparently never treated a Medicare patient himself, wants to get government out of healthcare altogether, we guess:

carson ACA tweet

We’re looking forward to his “clarification” on that when the AARP starts asking questions.

As an act of generosity, Mississippi Gov. Phil Bryant wanted to make sure that nobody ended up with any blank spaces on their Rightwing Nutjob Bingo cards:

Today’s decision does not change the fact that Obamacare is a socialist takeover of health care forced down the throats of the American people without proper review, and it does not slow the massive and unprecedented transfer of wealth that is at the heart of the subsidy system. Make no mistake—Obamacare is not about helping those in need or improving health care delivery. It is about destabilizing our health care system, ceding more control to centralized government and replacing individual liberty with government dependence […]

Mississippi was right, as were numerous other states, not to willingly entrench Obamacare by establishing a state-based exchange, and I will continue to resist any efforts that attempt to shove Obamacare deeper into this state.

Republicans know there is a better way, and I call on Mississippi’s congressional delegation to immediately renew its efforts to repeal and replace this train wreck of a law.

Oh, crap. He left out “Benghazi.” Damn you, Bryant, you brilliant trickster!

Congressional Republicans are pretty certain that what the Supreme Court really meant is that it’s time to elect a Republican president and to repeal every last word of Obamacare.

Eventually, the real serious explanations begin to trickle in, just as they did the last time the Court upheld Obamacare. Judicial reasoning? Looking at the full intent of the law rather than narrowly reading six words? Nah, obviously, the Fix Was In (again). From Tucker Carlson’s refuge for scared white people, we have this, from “former Libertarian Vice Presidential nominee” Wayne Allyn Root:

It’s time to start asking the question. It’s time to be cynical. It’s time to assume the worst of this government.

Has Supreme Court Justice John Roberts been blackmailed or intimidated?

I would put nothing by the Obama administration that lives and rules by the Chicago thug playbook.

Cool story, bro! That video of Chief Justice Roberts gay fucking a goat must be super explicit!

And finally, the virtual guarantee that not only will the ACA remain settled law, but that Democrats will keep control of the presidency in 2016: Bill Kristol has made a prediction.

kristol ACA

Whew! Guess that’s settled, then. And Sarah Palin will win America’s hearts.

[WaPo / ThinkProgress / National Journal / Daily Caller]

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  • Pollos Hermanos

    Confederate Flag, Obamacare and perhaps tomorrow THE GHEYZ!!! This has been quite a bad week to be a wingnut.

    • eddi

      (world’s smallest violin playing “Cry Me a River”) Aww…

  • Skwerl King

    Has Supreme Court Justice John Roberts been blackmailed or intimidated?

    Alright folks, it’s time to give Robert’s puppy back. Who has it this week?

  • Oblios_Cap

    It looks like Bill Kristol’s in no danger of losing his perfect record of having every prediction he makes result in just the opposite actually happening.

    • Zippy

      I felt that much better about 2016 after reading his prediction

      • HogeyeGrex

        I’m actually having a bit of hope that we can take back Congress now.

        Thanks, Bill.

    • marxalot

      Yeah, you can basically take that one to the bank. Of course, now that’s he’s made his pronouncement, you won’t get great odds.

  • Zippy

    a bunch of whiny little fuckers, ain’t they?

    • Nounverb911

      When haven’t they been?

  • PsycWench

    Time to start writing some Sympathy Cards “Sorry U R riding the struggle bus”.

  • Nounverb911

    Rachel Maddow and the Daily show will both be classics tonight.

  • memzilla

    Does anyone know what the new ICD-10 medical codes are for throat-cramming and butthurt?

    • OneYieldRegular

      Code Blueballs.

  • PsycWench

    Normally I see this level of parsing select words when I give a multiple choice exam. Who knew that a whiny frat boy was in the heart of every wingnut?

  • elviouslyqueer

    Malkin should’ve saved the Cole Porter reference until after Obergefell, seeing as Porter was quite fond of the penis.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Birds do it, Bees do it,
      Even Freepers with disease do it.
      Let’s do it,
      Let’s cram it down America’s throat.

  • leemoder

    I thought Liberty Hangout was when Liberty forgets to zip its fly.

    • Zippy

      Roll over, Liberty

      • bozilingus

        “Play dead, Liberty. Good dog!”

    • Msgr_Moment

      The Statue is Trans?!?!

      • eddi

        As Pete Venkman said, “Hey, she’s from France.”

  • elviouslyqueer

    Also too, I want to take “Rand Paul flugelhorned vibrantly” out on a date, ply it with a bottle or two of white zin, get its consent, and bonk its brains out.

    And then turn it over and do it again.

  • WiscoJoe

    Words no longer have meaning!

    Also, can someone explain to me exactly which specific state John Kerry is secretary of?

    • Nounverb911

      Confusion?

      • WiscoJoe

        I’m sorry. I don’t understand your response because I just see a bunch of random squiggly lines.

        Words no longer have meaning!

        • RevZafod

          ضصثقفغعهخحجطكمنتالبيسشئءؤرلاىةوزظ

          • Zippy

            that must be that creeping Sharia law I keep hearing about

          • RevZafod

            I dunno. I just ran across the top row on the Arabic keyboard of Google Translate, then back the center row, then across the bottom row. In English it came out Dsthagafgahkhhjtkmentalbasciearlayhozz. Which is what Scalia said.

          • Bitter Scribe

            الرائعة!

          • RevZafod

            Ran your reply thru GT and got “The Wonderful”. It asked if I meant [something else script] and when I clicked that, I got “Fantastic”.

            Should we go balls to the wall and get the Arabic script for “fuck Mohammed”? Maybe not to post on Wonkette. We don’t want ISIS attacks against Dear Leader Trix in Montana…..

            After all, there’s Jesusandmo.net for that, and the ‘toonist is still anonymous.

          • Doug Langley

            Wasn’t that a song in Mary Poppins?

          • RevZafod

            Now that you mention it, Dsthagafgahkhhjtkmentalbasciearlayhozz does sound a LOT like Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, doesn’t it?

          • Zippy

            I did college work study in our school’s international library for a year and actually got pretty good at being able to figure out lots of different languages even though I didn’t speak them- FWIW, reshelving books all day long sucked ass

          • Blank Ron

            Hey, it’s inside work with no heavy lifting.

          • BackDoorMan

            … isn’t that how the GOP recruit their representatives? As part of the benefit package?

    • Msgr_Moment

      AOT,K, FTW.

    • SnarkTank

      I just love how one of the guys who crammed “A corporation is a person” down our throats now has the gall to say that with this ruling “words have no meaning”!

      • WiscoJoe

        If I understand the Supreme Court ruling the first amendment protects my right to attach whatever meaning I want to whatever speech I want whenever I want and everyone else has to accept it otherwise I’m being censored. Isn’t that how it goes?

        • HogeyeGrex

          Only if you’re a corporation.

  • Note to Bill Kristol:

    Conservatism’s finest hour will come when your elected representatives begin to work as allies of the American people, not as their primary enemy.

    Jesus Christ on a rolling donut.

    • eddi

      Jay will have been back for 20 years before that happens.

  • marxalot

    I thought Liberty Suitcase was what you got when Liberty Valance lets himself go.

    • memzilla

      No, that’s Liberty Carpetbag.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Liberty Valance coordinates so nicely with the new Tyranny Drapes from Laura Ashley.

      • marxalot

        Yeah, you can go Valance or Valise with that, but “Liberty Curtains” sounds like a euphemism for a regrettable haircut or something done to trucks.

    • No, that’s Liberty Valise. When Liberty Valance lets himself go, it’s Liberty Drapes.

  • Nounverb911

    Greg Abbott to demand that Texas secede in 3…2.. Hey Greg, no one’s going to stop you.

  • docterry6973

    I’d like to see President Cruz and a GOP congress do a tenth of the things they promise to do. Of course, I’d like to see it from Canada.

    • marxalot

      I’d like to see them do it from the island we ship them to. The Congressional Survivor ratings oughta be great.

      • Nounverb911

        Bikini Atoll?

        • Bob@Bob.com

          Republicans thing bikinis are sinful

          • Zippy

            whereas I HOPE they are…

          • marxalot

            In this, like sex, and many other things, “only if it’s done right.”

        • leemoder

          Monster Island

          • Blank Ron

            I’d pay to watch ‘Godzilla vs McConnell.’

        • Msgr_Moment
    • Nounverb911

      You in Canada or Cruz in Canada?

      • Blank Ron

        Oh, come on, just as we’re about to get rid of OUR conservatives?

  • memzilla

    I’m putting even more schadenfreude sprinkles in my vodka right now!

  • OneYieldRegular

    Republicans: just show us this Obamacare replacement plan you’ve yapping about for months but have yet to produce. We’d like to see it now.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Oh, that’s easy: “Mumble mumble tort reform* mumble mumble compete across state lines** mumble mumble medical savings accounts***”

      *”Sorry your doctor crippled you by accident. Here’s your maximum $100,000, minus attorney’s fees. Enjoy living on that for the rest of your life, since you’re unable to work.”

      **”George, why has every health insurance company moved to
      Mississippi?”

      ***”Your cancer will need immediate surgery and aggressive
      followup. Hope you have half a million bucks stashed away.”

    • marxalot

      “I have in my hand a copy of the Republican replacement plan! And Santa’s Nice list! And the secret recipe for Coca-Cola!”

      • Amy!

        Communists in the state department LIBEL!

        • SnarkOff

          Obama’s long form birth certificate libel!!

      • Spotts1701

        But you don’t have the 11 herbs and spices, so I don’t care.

  • LarryHoudini

    We shouldn’t be celebrating if Bill Kristol predicts a backlash. After all, has he ever been wrong?

  • Tony Alexander

    if you need me, i’m the pissy sot passed out in the corner!

    • Antonin Dvorak

      You’re going to have to be more specific.

      • memzilla

        Seriously! Put a Day-Glo ping-pong ball on your antenna so we can find you!

        • Zippy

          ixnay on the ping pong balls

          you don’t want to see Trix in the midst of post partum depression

      • Tony Alexander

        pissy robot sot!

        fify

    • QHarp

      Understood, Speaker Boehner.

  • PsycWench

    “Words no longer have meaning if an Exchange that is not established by a State is ‘established by the State.’”
    Somewhere, somehow, someone is looking at their LSD lab and thinking “That’s weird, I had ninety tabs right here…”

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Is anybody surprised that Rand Paul pounced on the piece of nonsense that made the very least sense of all and agreed with it?

      • nmmagyar

        Nope

    • Boscoe

      D’oh!

  • FauxAntocles

    Well, if “well-regulated militia” means nothing, suck it butthurt conservabears!

    • WiscoJoe

      Also, the second amendment as passed by Congress referred to “the security of a free State” whereas the amendment that was actually ratified referred to “the security of a free state.”

      Either these are two completely different amendments (and therefore passed unconstitutionally) or words no longer have meaning. That can be the only explanation.

      • Boscoe

        -OR their intent was that only ONE of the states got to be free. :)

    • WiscoJoe

      And clearly “well-regulated miltia” is completely different than “well regulated militia.”

      And don’t even get me started on the use of commas in the various recorded versions of the second amendment.

      Punctuation hasn’t had meaning since 1791.

      • JustPixelz

        #ThanksObama

    • RoyalUglyDude

      Speaking of the Constitution, Article I uses the phrase it’s laws (instead of its).
      I’m pretty sure that invalidates the whole document.

      • JustPixelz

        97% of political scientists agree. So you’re wrong.

  • Bob@Bob.com

    So how many millenias in a gram. I forget

    • Msgr_Moment

      AOT,K.

    • BigBoppa

      Depends on how much Gram had to drink.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Did the Court address standing at all? I would love to see those plaintiffs held in contempt.

    • pstockholm

      Yeah I don’t get standing here either, can anyone wonksplain?

  • Tony Alexander

    mommy, why are all those people in a fetal position?

    hush up and enjoy it, son!

  • Notreelyhelping

    They’re utterly shocked and dismayed that they lost on a bullshit case that never should have before the court? These guys must think the ant and the rubber tree plant derive from a biology textbook.

    • Zippy

      a biology textbook from Texas, mebe

  • memzilla

    You’ll notice that all of this came to pass as soon as Donna Rose entered our world. And (fingers crossed!) ghey marriage will make it a hat trick.

    Congratulations, Editrix and Mr. Editrix, most successful communist plot EVAH!

    • marxalot

      Also, too, can we confirm/deny that the top pic is, in fact, Doctor Babby?

  • Antonin Dvorak

    millenias

    Stop cramming polypluraism down our throats!

  • Tony Alexander

    man, their pain feels AWSOME!!!

    • MOG253

      Why yes, yes it does. Ahhhhh.

  • Relativicus

    They really do love that “shove” imagery, don’t they?

    • essbird

      Are they still breathing? I’m surprised there’s room for all this throat-cramming we’ve been doing.

    • SnarkOff

      Oh, god, yes! Yes! That’s why they keep using it. And repeating it harder! Again, and again and again. Yes!

    • david green

      Whatever happened to “jackboots”, anyway?

  • cousin itt

    Squeeee!

  • CalvinianChoice

    When I saw the headline, I thought it meant the start of another Wonkette Drinking Tour. Now I’m broken.

  • WiscoJoe

    Conservatives claim that words no longer have meaning and then they take to Twitter to prove themselves correct.

    • proudgrampa

      A thousand virtual upvotes for you, my friend!

  • deanbooth

    The Liberty Valance hangs above the Overton Window.

    • SnarkOff

      It’s a nice decorative touch in front of the Iron Curtain.

    • OneYieldRegular

      For that, you get to pick the curtains.

  • malsperanza

    Dear Patdissent, you nitwit, the reason Roberts and Kennedy voted to uphold is that #AmericanBusiness LOVES Obamacare, especially #Corporations and #TheFuckingInsuranceIndustry.

    For chrissakes.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Truly, we say, armadillo.

    And the Lord saw that it was armadillo. And it was good.

    • RevZafod

      Let’s buy po’ Dok a cask of armadillo.

      • BigBoppa

        And a box of “millenias”.

  • You can actually see the heart breaking!

    “In a six to three decision the Supreme Court upholds the ACA . . .”

  • Reddishrabbit

    Why, god, why do I have to work and not be able to get drunk celebrating the tears of conservatives!!!

  • little g
  • MOG253

    These guys are totally harshing my mellow. Drinks for everyone!!!

    • proudgrampa

      You are awesome! I’ll get the next round.

  • deanbooth

    Jeb!:

    This fatally-flawed law imposes job-killing mandates, causes spending in Washington to skyrocket by $1.7 trillion, raises taxes by $1 trillion and drives up health care costs. Instead of fixing our health care system, it made the problems worse.

    YOU LIE!

    • nmmagyar

      The only thing in his! entire response! that wasn’t a lie is that the ACA is a law.

    • cousin itt

      Will the MSM dare call him on it?

      If yes, text “what was the question?”
      If no, text “No.”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Trillion is just a nonsense word like gazillion, right? It doesn’t mean anything so I can pretty much make stuff up. I like words like that. Values, integrity, and competence are in the same category, they way I use them anyway.” — Jeb!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Trillions of years of judicial restraint…

      • Msgr_Moment

        ” No, Trillion, like Bazillian, refers to a brown-skinned people living in Latin Amurrika.” — Dan Quayle Alfred E. Neumann George Dubya

        • Gleem-McShinez

          “Trillion? That was some Brit ladey in that funny two-headed spaceman guy show”

          GWB

  • cousin itt

    replace this train wreck of a law.

    The only trains that are wrecking are the ones conservatives like you refuse to pay for while awaiting the inevitable carnage and death so you can say government is broken.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    When a pro-lifer like Ben Carson can talk about “removing government from the Dr./patient relationship” without having his tongue turn into a serpent, I’m pretty sure there’s no divinity, or at least, not one that’s paying attention.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Honestly? I think this was judicial activism, and thankfully so. The wording was as it was deliberately, to pressure states into creating their own exchanges, but woefully underestimated states’ willingness to be petty and vindictive towards their own poor. This could have been sent back to congress by the SCOTUS for a 4 word fix, but given the previous point they knew that congress could not be trusted to get that fix right, so they took it upon themselves to paste the fix over the existing words. It was a win win, since the liberal SCOTUS faction knew the ACA would fall without the fix, and the conservative SCOTUS faction knew the Republicans would fall without an alternative healthcare plan.

    And I don’t have a problem with that. The problem never would have arisen if the red states and not gone out of their way to contravene the spirit of the law and punish their own people in a childish attempt to discredit Obama and curry favor with the nastiest elements of their own base.

    Sometimes somebody has to be the adult if the position is vacant.

    • Amy!

      Since none of the folks who wrote the law agree with you, I’ll dissent as well. The intent of the federal backstop was to be a working backstop, not to destroy the insurance industry.

      • Lefty Frizzell

        You could well be right, it’s just my opinion, but can you imagine any of the framers actually saying something like “Our scenario didn’t pan out because the red states fucked us over, so can we redo that bit?” if it was true, especially given the likelihood of getting the fix through the current congress?

        Don’t get me wrong – the opposition has been making shit up, relentlessly, since day one, and will continue to do so, and this won’t be over for a while yet – so I’m overjoyed at what I see as the tiniest bit of chicanery to get this thing on more solid ground. The end result is in practice exactly the same as sending it back to a rational congress for a 4 word fix.

        (And yes, I do concede that none of that might actually be what happened!)

  • marxalot

    Obamacare and housing today. Tonight: Stonewall party at the Capitol.
    Tomorrow: US vs China in the Women’s World Cup. Possibly between now and
    Saturday: SSM ruling. I’ve got a lot of shaking it to do.

  • Spotts1701

    Oh, this is just Christmas! Weep! Weep, wingnuts!

    http://stream1.gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs5/2224861_o.gif

  • TheBidenator

    Uh hey wingnuts…according to the definition you use for “judicial restraint” SCOTUS shouldn’t have even HEARD King V. Burwell because the entire case was initiated by judicial review you dumb trailer hitches….

    Now stop whining and just you know, go to hell.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      shhh you are harshing their narrative that the Court is only a Good Thing when it rules in their favor

  • malsperanza

    Oh the 2016 campaign is gonna be batshit. The good Doktor has nicely captured the tone of discourse we can expect. Let’s all sit back and watch the Gops tell America – in, er, plain English – they’re gonna take away their health care on Jan. 21, 2017.

  • SK

    It does take a special brand of crazy for Minnesota Palin invoke the Magna Carta.

    The bats have officially run out of shit on that one.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      You have to wonder what she means by “millenniums” of judicial restraint. Is she thinking of the famous ancient Egyptian Supreme Court?

      Edit: “Millennias”, I mean. Grr.

      • SnarkOff

        I think she’s talking about the Baby Boomers’ entitled children.

      • borninatrailer

        “Is she thinking…”

        I may have spotted the root of your confusion.

  • Ryan Denniston

    All those “millenias,” completely wasted.

    Also too, the Magna Carta and its ability to restrain kings is a myth (http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2015/06/the-magna-carta-and-marbury).

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Cole Porter did have a message … for the wingnuts:

    Just think of those shocks you’ve got
    And those knocks you’ve got
    And those blues you’ve got
    From that news you’ve got
    And those pains you’ve got
    (If any brains you’ve got)
    From those little radios.

    Obmacare grows!

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Has Supreme Court Justice John Roberts been blackmailed or intimidated?”

    He knows the Hillz is gonna be the Prez, and if she can whack Vince Foster and four Americans thousands of miles away, just think what she’ll do to some lowly Chief Justice.

  • cousin itt

    Tears of a Boehner.

    • nmmagyar

      a. k. a. dog water

      • Callyson

        “Oh HELL no–we’re not drinking any of that!”

        – my two dogs

  • GDleftyPart2

    Hey look over there, it’s a mushroom cloud that used to be ‘Merica, thanks SCOTUS!!!!111!!

    Oh wait, it’s just another cloud in the otherwise blue sky….never mind.

  • mtiffany

    Words no longer have any meaning, indeed, if Rand Paul can put the title “Dr.” in front of his name. Carry for, furious blue odor, where mangoes potato wrench; bottle jockey.

    • GDleftyPart2

      May I mambo dogface to the banana patch?

      Apologies and credit to Steve Martin.

      • Spotts1701

        Let birds go further loose, maybe. Shout easy play.

        • elviouslyqueer

          Ah freddled gruntbuggly,
          Thy micturations are to me,
          As plurdled gabbleblotchits,
          On a lurgid bee

          • willi0000000

            Bqhatevwr

          • beatbort

            Sam with the showing scalp flat top.
            Particular about the point it made.
            (RIP Capt. Beefheart)

          • Axomamma

            Scott Brown is going down in history for that one. Not quite what he had in mind, but bqhatevwr.

        • Msgr_Moment
          • Vienna Woods

            Damn I loved that show.

          • HogeyeGrex

            Violent pizza

      • Dorothy Nelson

        Yum yum di buckety
        Rum ting phutaow!
        Ni ni ni….. yaoooow!

    • Bear OmNomNom

      Arugula limousines dancing in sesquipedalian loyalism! Enchilada sharply, allergy children!

      • bikerlaureate

        Right-to-work!

    • Werewolf

      Gorbachev sings tractor! Turnip! Buttocks!

      • CognizantImpiety

        Opus? Is that you?

        • Werewolf

          Oliver Wendell Jones, at your service (“Avast, ye scurvy corporate swabs! Yer about to be boarded!”)

    • HogeyeGrex

      A semiotic blancmange of post-structural teakettle barbecue hatstand fishmonger.

      • DrNoSexForBenghazi!!11!,MD.org

        They mean to win Wimbledon!

  • AnOuthouse

    toddstarnes,
    my grandparents are all dead, #you insensitive clod.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    All I can think of is this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rm81LSKJC2k

  • Callyson

    Shorter Huckabee:

    “Dammit, this was supposed to be our Supreme Court!!!”

  • Slithytoves

    The only thing more enjoyable than watching the wingnuts on a day like today is reading Wonkette on a day like today.

  • Lord-Nash

    2012 GOP Campaign: Repeal Obamacare, no replacement plan, and no real info on how it would work once in action.
    2016 GOP Campaign: Repeal Obamacare, STILL no replacement plan, and this time, REAL data on how it works in action (hint, people kind of like it!)

    • Step 2…
      Step 3: Profit!

      • Callyson

        Step 2: do whatever our billionaire overlords want us to do!

    • UnsaltedSinner

      2020 GOP Campaign: Keep the government out of our Romneycare!

  • shastakoala

    My ObamaCare law can beat up your phone book.

  • Callyson

    Yo, Scalia? You were asking about definitions?

    state

    4.

    a. The supreme public power within a sovereign political entity: the state intervening in the economy.

    b. The sphere of supreme civil power within a given polity: matters of state.

    c. A specific kind of government: the socialist state.

    d. A body politic, especially one constituting a nation: the states of Eastern Europe.

    e. One of the more or less internally autonomous territorial and political units composing a federation under a sovereign government: the 48 contiguous states of the Union.

    tl;dr: Scalia is unfamiliar with the concept of multiple meanings for a single word.

    • natoslug

      The State of the Union address must completely fuck up his world. WHAT STATE ARE WE ADDRESSING????!!!!!11!!! DO WE HAVE ENOUGH POSTAGE!!!ELEBENTY!!!!!!!!??????

      • bobbert

        I’ma refrain from introducing him to the idea of a state machine.

  • cousin itt

    “the 1996 Houston Yellow Pages”

    Well Bruce, I quite preferred the ’94 Yellow–bouquet like a Ted Cruz armpit.

    • Bear OmNomNom

      Well, there goes MY axillary fetish for good. And right before Pride, no less…

  • Kat Anyperson

    *pops the cork on a bottle of wine she re-labled “Republican Tears”*

    A toast! To butthurt wignutts everywhere and to health insurance for all!

    • Sam Hain

      They can even see a doc now about their butthurt.
      Thanks O’Bummercurr

  • Callyson

    sensible consumer empowering solutions that remove govt from the patient/doctor relationship

    I couldn’t agree more, Dr Carson…

    • eddi

      Single payer forevah!

    • Zippy

      not one of them will see the irony in that statement

      • JustPixelz

        Irony is not a river in Egypt. WAIT! That’s not it. I don’t know what irony is either.

        • handyhippie65

          my tap water?

        • Blank Ron

          It’s like goldy and bronzy only it’s made out of iron.

        • BackDoorMan

          … I think it’s “that San Fransisco treat!” ™.

  • I suppose that Scalia’s incomprehensible musing on this are better than “argle bargle”, which he actually used in his musings on his dissent on striking down the Defense of Marriage Act.

  • Callyson

    Well, that was quite a list of insane ideas and idiotic individuals…

  • toomanyrappers

    Scalia is a tool. See? Words still have meaning. :)

    It’s also hilarious to hear a man that talks about “interpreting” the Constitution using the “founders’ original intent” complaining about decisions that are not absolutely literal.

  • Ryan Denniston

    I love the sound of wingnut heads popping in the morning. Sounds like…. victory!

    • Krat

      Damn, beat me to it.

  • whitroth

    Y’know, I could have *sworn* that the US of A federal gov’t could be referred to, correctly, as “The State”.

    And dammit, it’s *not* good enough, thanks to the Heritage Foundation (R-Koch). I WANT MY SOCIALIZED MEDICINE!

    mark

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      As in Department of?

  • jw

    I love the taste of TeaThuglican tears in the morning. Tastes so sweet!

    • Krat

      I love the smell of TeaThug tears in the morning. Smells like ….. victory. Someday
      this war’s gonna end ….

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Whee! That is some weapons-grade wingnut butthurt. I can hardly wait for the king-sized pineapple of gay marriage to be crammed up there next.

    • eddi

      We may actually hear heads exploding south of Mason-Dixon.

    • Dee Andee

      Based on their rhetoric, I think they prefer oral to anal…

  • VandeGraf

    In my nudist swimming party, we’ll have no Michele Bachmanns, but will consider Michelle Malkins. Depends on how that Wicket Weaseling hangs. And if she brings the potato salad.

  • MAZS

    Hey Governor Bryant—how about that massive governmental “transfer of wealth” that goes from blue states to red states like yours? Mississippi is literally the #1 welfare state–receiving back $1.77 for every dollar it sends to DC.

    • beatbort

      Oh, please don’t use facts or statistics to back up an argument with them. They never work. They simply just need to be kicked in the balls.

      • vivian

        which I believe requires aiming for the head, given the tendency toward self-fellating

    • malsperanza

      And yet it’s still dead last in infant health, upward mobility, and education, first in poverty and disease. The joy of a thoroughly gerrymandered legislature.

  • beatbort

    “Our Founding Fathers didn’t create a ‘do-over’ provision in our Constitution that allows unelected Supreme Court justices the power to circumvent Congress and rewrite bad laws,” Huckabee said in a statement provided to The Washington Post.
    Seriously, what the fuck is Eric Halfabee talking about here? What is this “do over shit”? What is this “circumvent Congress” shit? Congress PASSED Obamacare, you dumb piece of shit. My 8 year old knows more about how the government work than HuckaHalfabee.

    • rocktonsam

      Bernie/ beatbort’s 8 year old kid 2016

    • DemmeFatale

      Yeah, thanks for the schadenfreude, Huck-a-fuck!

    • Logic of Color

      Eric Halfabee PYTHON LIBELZ!!!!

    • arealbaby

      Cirsumvent… circumverate… the oooolll’ reach-around.

  • karma-based_lifeform

    Moist colander prevails! Justice Scalia needs to ask himself: Has Anyone Really Been Far Even as Decided to Use Even Go Want to do Look More Like?

    James Joyce libelz!!

  • beatbort

    Please, GOP presidential candidates, please run on an “abolish Obamacare” platform. It has proven to be a winner twice already!

  • “Mike Huckabee seems to have been first out of the gate with an insta-reaction, calling the decision ‘an out-of-control act of judicial tyranny'”

    I thought the Brit’s were the ones with the tranny judges….

  • JustPixelz

    “the right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed”

    ARMS! Not guns. Not legs. Not spleens. ARMS!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Words mean nothing…

    • nmmagyar

      Applesauce!!!!

    • whitroth

      For decades, I’ve wanted the contract to arm bears… and sell bullet-proof vests to Bambi….

      mark

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Currently, 47 percent of Americans approve of the law — more than the 44% who disapprove, and a historical high in five years of Times/CBS News polls on the subject. And the tend is steeply upwards.
    I’m looking forward to where the numbers will be by November 2016, as the GOPtards continue to blindly campaign against it.

  • rocktonsam

    HELLOOOOOOOOOOO Scott Walker…

  • Msgr_Moment

    Jiggery Pokery, muthafuckas!

  • AntiDerpomeme

    LOL, if these winger yahoos really, really cared about words truly having meaning, they would have thrown the likes of Bush, Cruz, One-L and Griftypants overboard a long time ago.

  • Logic of Color

    The REAL analysis won’t begin until Mrs. Palin weighs in, of course.

    • M H

      She’s been so lazy, lately!

      • janecita

        Lately? LOL

    • Blank Ron

      That gives us something to look forward to in September.

    • ottercliff

      She’s busy getting the birthin shed cleaned out for Bristol’s latest project.

  • Manhattan123

    Michele Bachmann is on Sprint with a 3G signal? What a fucking moron.

    Seriously, the only thing that almost made me happier than the ruling was seeing the outraged reactions from the right-wing nuts. I turned on Fox for a few seconds to wallow. Oh my, the somber tones, the doom and gloom permeating the place – it was like the two times they had to reluctantly announce Barack Hussein Obama was elected president. I didn’t stay long enough to see if Karl Rove had a meltdown. LOLOLOL

  • DemmeFatale

    I don’t drink Republican tears very often, but when I do…

    • Beaumarchais?

      Leave some to water the Tree of Tyranny!

    • janecita

      I enjoy them like a fine, French wine. I savor them, and make them last a long, long time.

  • Vienna Woods

    OT, but how can I be happy now that Patrick Macnee has died?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Damn. Damn. Damn.

    • malsperanza

      Age 93, not too shabby. Drink a nice schadenfreude cocktail in his honor and be glad that Dame Emma Peel is still with us.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      A life that included working with Diana Rigg is a life well-lived. I’ll raise a gin & tonic to him tonight.

    • Blank Ron

      Don’t be sad because he’s gone, be happy because he was alive.

  • Logic of Color

    I love it when a plan comes together

  • anniegetyerfun

    I feel better knowing that Bill Kristol has weighed in. Since he is always wrong.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      And he isn’t wrong by a little bit, he is off by gigamiles. If he told me the sun would rise at 6:38 tomorrow morning, it wouldn’t mean that the real sunrise would be a little later. It would mean that an asteroid hit during the night would plunge the earth into a suicidal spiral towards the sun

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Stay Thirsty, My Republicans
    (primarly because you cried so much you got dehydrated)

  • the_steamer

    Let’s apply that logic to the 2nd amendment and see how they like it…

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      You think “well regulated militia” are words that have meaning?

  • “Our country is ruled by an oligarch Supreme Court…”

    Wow, a broken clock is right twice a day. (Which is as you’d expect when the executive and the legislature are at loggerheads, of course – the judicary splits the difference.) But funny she didn’t complain when the oligarchs handed down Citizens United or Hobby Lobby.

  • cheetojeebus

    I’ve had schadenfreude for several hours now, should I be worried? should I put ice on it?

    • borninatrailer

      And this is just the appetizer for the schadenfreude buffet that is gay marriage crammed down every throat!!!

    • Me not sure

      Someone should create a cocktail called a Schadenfreude. Any suggestions?

      • just_jim

        No, but here’s a recipe for Schadenfreude Pie

        http://whatever.scalzi.com/2006/09/26/how-to-make-a-schadenfreude-pie/

      • LIT_Fag

        Not to mention an “Obamacare” shot. I’m thinking something big, brown, and creamy.

        • Me not sure

          Drink up!

      • malsperanza

        Ok, I’ll give it a go.

        1 part Kentucky bourbon
        1 part Republican tears
        Dash of bitters

        If tears and bitters are not available, fine.

        • Me not sure

          Just salty enough.

  • Me not sure

    I fear that by using the words “forced down our throats” instead of “crammed down our throats” the governor of Mississippi has tweaked the message just enough to turn the tide of public opinion. Obamacare is doomed.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      “Jammed down our gullets” would make for a refreshing change of pace.

      • Me not sure

        The gullet gambit! Well played!

  • cheetojeebus

    A slight correct re Houston phone book…Mcturtle was over heard this morning on his walk to his office, ” Gimme the ringer, chop chop” So in all likelihood, contents are his dirty tidy whiteys….

  • malsperanza
  • Dr. Carson, I seem to remember six years recently where the Republicans controlled both Congress and the White House and failed to do anything about healthcare. Talk is cheap, asshole.

  • Me not sure

    Does Michelle Malkin realize that Cole Porter was gay? Just askin’.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Of course not. She also doesn’t realize that the lyrics are not only cheerful but cheerfully pro-hedonism.

      • Me not sure

        I should think the title would be a dead giveaway.

        • Blank Ron

          Why? It’s not like it has any meaning.

    • Rick Hill

      At this point she doesn’t even realize Murdoch isn’t her Daddy.

    • malsperanza

      Probably not. Does Rachel Dolezal realize that black isn’t really white today?

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I think my special favorite from the selection above is from Buck O’Fama (evidently a graduate of U. Nucking Futz) who twatlets:

    If words don’t mean what they say, how can I ever again create a contract?

    Signed #American Business

    Uh, Bucko, me lad, American Business spends enormous time and treasure in courts and before arbitrators litigating what words mean in contracts. It’s an important part of what courts and arbitrators do and if they stopped doing it, American Business would collapse and American Business knows it. I assume you don’t know fun thucking wing about American Business.

    • bobbert

      And, just for chuckles, consider the term “meeting of the minds”.

  • Pugsandcoffee

    I can literally smell the shit in all of their pants.

  • Love and hate tattooed across the knuckles of his hands,
    Hands that slap his kids around cos they don’t understand.

  • MikeyArmstrong

    Why weren’t they this sad when SCOTUS legalized bribery?

  • Charles Cates

    Fucking NIXON agreed to universal healthcare but the plan fell apart in Congress. Whether it’s St. Reagan making that video about ‘socialized medicine’ or the much more recent drumbeats from the hate echo chamber even people who would benefit from ACA are brainwashed that it’s another nail in the coffin of impossible fantasies American exceptionalism*.
    Eventually the horse can be beat any more for it’s already fallen apart.

    *Exceptionalism disappears eventually and you can have a great country even if you can’t threaten everyone on earth.

    • Jayleia Green

      Reagan didn’t make a video…he made a record. Not just a recording…but an actual *on-vinyl* record.

      • Charles Cates

        I got confused because I listened to it on YouTube!

  • VP’s Heart

    Love Scalia assuming the position for Roberts, again (non lub wimpering, no?).

  • Wombat

    Wow. That’s a whole lot of derp indicating that your basic #tcot has NO CLUE (or feigns having no clue) exactly how things work around these here parts.

    You know what would be awesome? If we had a branch of government that could — when there’s confusion about what a law means, or was intended to mean, say — hear different sides of the argument about what it maybe means and then come to some kind of decision.

    Oh, wait…

  • CripesAmighty

    A note seen over at LGF that I just had to share with the class:

    “Just wait–If SCOTUS upholds SSM, then the shit’s really gonna hit the floor.”

  • CripesAmighty

    Plop.

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