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Probably his fault somehow

Stop the recycled paper presses, Whole Foods is gouging its customers! Wait, we knew that, didn’t we? Yes. We mean, more than we even knew! According to an EXCLUSIVE report by NY Daily News, the New York Department of Consumer Affairs has been watching the sneaky way grocery stores throughout the city, especially Whole Foods, have been free marketing customers, with inaccurate labels:

The most recent spate of violations came during a sting operation the Department of Consumer Affairs conducted in the fall that specifically checked the accuracy of the weight marked on pre-packaged products.

Inspectors weighed 80 different types of items at Whole Foods’ eight locations in the city that were open at the time. They found every label was inaccurate, with many overcharging consumers, agency spokeswoman Abby Lootens told The News.

Naturally, Whole Foods spokesguy Michael Sinatra says the whole thing is a misunderstanding, and the Department is just plain wrong, but in case it is not wrong, it was A Accident, and Whole Foods “never intentionally used deceptive practices to incorrectly charge customers.” Since 2010. For nearly a hundred products. In eight different stores. But nah, it definitely was not part of sinister corporate scheme to make the hipster Birkenstock crowd pay even more of their whole paychecks than they are already happy to pay. Except:

A source familiar with the investigation said a Whole Foods store employee told a DCA inspector that the mislabeled prices were ordered by corporate honchos.

But other than that … Oh, and also other than that time Whole Foods was busted for doing basically the exact same thing in California:

Whole Foods Market is paying $800,000 in penalties after an investigation found the supermarket chain overcharged customers throughout California. […]

Problems included failing to deduct the weight of containers when ringing up fresh food, putting smaller amounts into packages than the weight stated on the label, and selling items by the piece instead of by the pound, as required by law, the statement said.

Probably just a coincidence. Or another A Accident, that happened a whole bunch of times. Whole Foods would never intentionally treat its customers like a bunch of suckers who will pay any price for fancy food from the fancy store, much of which they could buy at non-fancy stores for non-fancy prices, but shopping at Whole Foods makes them feel good about themselves. Even though it shouldn’t because Whole Foods co-founder and co-CEO John Mackey is a climate change denier who once said Obamacare is “like fascism.” Oh, and also some years back, some yokels who don’t shop there anyway complained that Whole Foods was doing terrorism by selling Halal-certified food during Ramadan, so stores received an email from headquarters to SHUT IT DOWN, PEOPLE, don’t wanna “highlight Ramadan in signage in our stores as that could be considered ‘Celebrating or promoting’ Ramadan.”

So yeah. You’re probably getting screwed by Whole Foods, even harder than you thought, but if you shop there, you probably deserve it.

[NY Daily News / L.A. Times]

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  • Viva La Tabula Raza

    This will go down in Whole Foods corporate history as Al-Accident.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Even though it shouldn’t because Whole Foods co-founder and co-CEO John Mackey is a climate change denier who once said Obamacare is “like fascism.”

    According to SCOTUS this morning, if you like your fascism, you can keep it!

  • Dr.Zoidberg

    Major win for Obamacare – breaking news!

  • cousin itt

    Sinatra said that Whole Foods likes to do things My Way in New York, New York.

    • mtn_philosoph

      Yeah well, that’s life. That’s what the people say.

  • Bob@Bob.com

    When it comes to fruit I’d rather pay by the piece than by the pound.

    • mtn_philosoph

      It can get complicated when the cashier has to ring up each one of those blueberries, though. But hey, that’s their problem.

  • exinkwretch

    Grifting yuppies and hipsters is wrong. Just like letting the air out of the tires of a sports car driving asshole who takes three parking spaces is wrong. But like Chris Rock, I *understand.*

  • Lizzietish81

    At Gothamist, they spoke to an employee who dropped a wonderful amount of F Bombs…

    “A current Whole Foods employee, who spoke to us on condition of anonymity, says the issue is incompetence. He says the company was aware of the labeling issue but actually eliminated the job position responsible for checking price tags, sales signs and tare weights in a bid to save money.

    “So they replace these people who actually know what the fuck they are doing by making the position a part time one with cheaper employees under the umbrella of a different department,” the employee told us. Team leaders were instructed to take special care in advance of this DCA investigation going public. “Except [the part time employees] are still barely trained and have almost no idea what the fuck they are doing.””

    http://gothamist.com/2015/06/24/whole_foods_ripoff.php

  • Squirrels05

    Yeah, I figured as much. But WF is preferable to Kroger here in the SE.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      there is also Martins, Food Lion, Wegmanns (at least, there is one of those in VA) and other places aside from the Kroger, which sucks and costs too much so I do not do the shopping there

      • PubOption

        Does Food Lion still sell bleached chicken?

        • AntiDerpomeme

          Seriously? That’s a thing? For those people that want their chicken extra-extra white?

          • PubOption

            Not exactly, it was past-its-shelf-life chicken, bleached to take away the smell. There was quite a stink (pun intended) about it, because Food Lion sued the reporter who worked there for a time, and documented the practice.

          • AntiDerpomeme

            Well of course, the poor corporate types need to protect themselves from those troublesome whistle-blowers. Because profit comes before product safety and accountability to the customers, natch.

          • Amy!

            Reminds me of Cas Walker’s, an east Tennessee (only) grocery chain from my misspent youth. Cas was also a deeply corrupt local politician, so even though he was caught, multiple times, making the meat look fresher with embalming fluid, I don’t think he ever got shut down.

          • AntiDerpomeme

            Oh, so much “ew!”

      • mtn_philosoph

        Damn, when I was a kid Kroger was a decent supermarket.

  • Lizzietish81

    As for the Ramadan thing, the other day I was walking through the upper parts of my neighborhood where I saw plenty of “Happy Ramadan!” signs on the various Halel places (that serve amazing falafal) and yet I was not terrorized.

    • Viva La Tabula Raza

      You were not terrorized because you are a sheeple. Open your eyes!

    • Rocky

      I love it too when a new Ramada opens.

      (Wait, did my whiteness just show?}

      • cousin itt

        At least you didn’t say Howard Johnson’s.

        Oops.

    • BeliTsari

      Well, the halal guy on W77th chased my Ashkenazy girlfriend up Broadway once? She’d bought me great shāwurma & veggies in a proper pita & handed him a $5, sauntering off, since he was BUSY… suddenly he’s running up through the packed streets, “Lady LADY… I owe you $1.50!”

  • Bob@Bob.com

    True confessions time: I like Trader Joe’s and Mom’s. Hemp seeds make a tasty addition to salads and other things. Hemp milk is nasty though.

    • Lizzietish81

      The TJ’s in New York are fucking insane!

      Before I left Boston last time we stopped in a TJs so I could get snacks for the train ride. I made sure to also get the Ginger Snaps, because all other Ginger Snaps are inferior, but getting them in New York is a blood sport.

      • AntiDerpomeme

        I have friends in the DC area who claim that you can lose a limb thanks to the competitive spirit in the local TJs there too. Funny, because living in Boston for a long time, shopping at TJs was generally a pleasant experience, although best avoided on weekends.

        • beatbort

          The greatest threats are from the self-satisfied employees dancing around in their Jimmy Buffett-knockoff shirts and being all chipper cheery while they stock the shelves.

          • beatbort

            And don’t get me going on Panera…

          • jmk

            Those people with their box-cutter-holsters worry me.

        • Lizzietish81

          I can believe it, the squirrels in DC are aggressive enough!

      • BeliTsari

        I’ve been waiting for CCW Reciprocity to hit NYC since the 2014 elections. I haven’t the nerve to buy a ceramic helmet with Lexan face shield & body armor… and I’ve requested overseas work for about three months, once New York yuppies are able to tote guns into Trader Joe’s. But I’m pretty sure there’s enough security cameras down 72nd, 23rd and 14th Street stores to capture all the gory action? Just Imagine how pleasant this island will be with, say 1/4 million pleasant, cheerful Sikhs, Chinese & islanders, still surviving? How they’ll manage to clear the heaped corpses from the clotted-up escalators I can’t picture?

        • mtn_philosoph

          New York State has very strict gun laws (the strictest in the country) and NYC’s laws are ten times stricter. You will never see open-carry or concealed-carry in the city become legal, ever.

    • Callyson

      TJ’s hemp granola with greek yogurt and banana is a favorite post-run breakfast. Yummy!

    • MrBlobfish

      Whatever we can’t find at Trader Joe’s, we pick up at the local health food store. Haven’t been to WF since the owner opened his stinkin’ trap and doing just fine.

    • Blank Ron

      How in the gods’ names do you milk hemp? How do you find its udders?

  • “Problems included failing to deduct the weight of containers when ringing up fresh food,…”

    This explains my chronic indigestion as I just figured the containers were edible.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      You paid for them, might as well eat them.

  • memzilla

    Not mentioned in the NYDN article is how crime-free the blocks are with Whole Foods stores, since the thieves know the people have already been robbed.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    There’s a simple explanation. Every Whole Foods scale has a robotic version of John Mackey’s thumb pressing down on it. Now any service person can be as dishonest as the founder without even thinking about it.

    It’s difficult to keep a businees’s culture alive across such a large organization, but technology gave them a way.

  • Who would have expected this from a business run by a Libertarian except those millions of people?

    • Shibusa

      Whole Shrewd.

  • geoffalnutt

    Gak!!! There’s nothing worse than ersatz tofurky, anyway.

    • VandeGraf

      Izzat a double secret reverse negative?

      • cousin itt

        Is it related to turducken?

  • cousin itt

    But ya gotta love their organic, non-GMO, free-range Soylent Green.

    • Blank Ron

      Soylent Green is healthy people!

  • Spotts1701

    Get someone from CSI: Weights and Measures on it.

    • jmk

      Law & Order: Special Measurements Unit

      (*duh DUNN dundundundun dunnnnnnnnnn*)

      • cousin itt

        Frankly, my dear I don’t give a gram.

    • Doug Langley

      Do you any IDEA of the penalty for not going metric??

  • Which is why I shop at the local hippy cooperative market. I like to keep the graft local.

    • eggsacklywright

      Same here. Puget Consumer’s Coop in Seattle – excellent quality, not the cheapest, but better than WF.

  • memzilla

    I live in Gramercy, a neighborhood that is So White (– how white is it, Johnny?) — that the neighborhood not-a-Whole-Foods-supermarket doesn’t sell pork rinds. NO. PORK. RINDS. Oh, but if you want your organic, vegan, gluten-free, shade-grown, free-trade, no-cholesterol Sweet Potato And Kale chips at a dollar an ounce… two brands and three sizes!

  • VandeGraf

    If this investigation follows the usual pattern, there will be a fine against the company, it will be low enough that it can be easily paid without lengthy repercussion on the bottom line, and the managers who worked the scam will not be indicted, tried, or convicted.

  • Vecciojohn

    Their used to live near a Whole Foods. I walked in there once and set off the poor people alarm.

  • Zippy

    OT it would appear that Obamacare gets to live another day…

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/25/obamacare-supreme-court-decision_n_7346048.html

    (edit-that’ll teach me to not refresh)

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      No shit o.O

      Edit: They didn’t decide on it, they threw it out like it was a piece of shit stupid suit to begin with. Which it was but still.

      • Zippy

        I had been cautiously optimistic that Roberts would side with Kennedy and the four sane justices, given his blatant pro corporate bent. I had been pretty confident that Kennedy would come around, once he finished wallowing in his role as tie breaker.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          He just liked the attention.
          I sorta expected it to get upheld and all, but I thought they’d drag it out and there would be this big time face saving disenting thing

          • PubOption

            There’s certainly a long dissent, written by Fat Tony.

          • Zippy

            chock full of butthurt and vitriol

          • eggsacklywright

            Eat it, Tony. Eat it raw.

          • bozilingus

            Raw, raw, raw!

          • eggsacklywright

            That’s the spirit!

          • Jen_Baker_VA

            I missed that! Weird, how do you disent to a non-judgement? I did not realize that was a thing. Thank you!

  • vivian

    Whose d’Fool?

  • beatbort

    I remember the one and only time I went in a Whole Foods in Boston and, being an aging sort of ex hippie, I was walking the aisles, thinking, “I’m supposed to like this, I’m supposed to like this, I’m supposed to like this”. And by the third aisle, I was saying, “I hate this place, I hate this place, I hate this place…”

    • BeliTsari
    • cousin itt

      The Revolution will be co-opted.

      • Anarchy Pony

        The co-ops will be co-opted.

    • marxalot

      That’s been my reaction every time I’ve been inside one. “These are supposed to be my people, these are supposed to be my people, I hate these people…”

    • nightmoth

      You’re making me feel much better about my WF experiences in the college town near me. I’m in your demographic, and belonged to the Sevananda food co-op in Atlanta many years ago. Trying to shop at the nearby Whole Foods made me feel un-hip, old and poor. I suspected all that organic stuff with the cooler-than-Dr. Bronner labels was way over-priced—nice to have that confirmed.

  • Thatsitfor Theotherwon

    Hole Foods.

  • Toomush_Infer

    OT: I hear the Supremes just gave the GOP a secret sigh of relief – they said (6-3) “Go fuck yourselves”…

  • Callyson

    OT and I am sure we will get to this:

    My wishful thinking was not for naught.

    • Zippy

      C’mon Dok, write faster! We need a SCOTUS story to snark on…

      • Skwerl King

        Patience, Scalia has made applesauce and “interpretive jiggery-pokery”

        Also FOX and the wingnutosphere went right into Roberts on cue.

        • Zippy

          I’d pay good money to watch fat Tony stomp around the room all red faced

          • marxalot

            SCOTUS webcam, like the Panda-Cam but more judicial. Still run by the Smithsonian Zoological Garden, though.

          • Beaumarchais?

            He’s a guy who’s definitely gonna need health care.

      • cousin itt

        Go easy. Dammit, he’s a Doktor not a joke machine.

  • Ryan Denniston

    What’s the over-under on the fine exceeding $50k?

  • cleanfront

    No joke, the BBQ at my local Whole Foods in VA is decent. And they have a good beer selection.
    I don’t buy anything else there. (Really, who needs more?)

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      chocolate or gtfo

  • Skwerl King

    I never understood the appeal of Whole Foods. Costs more, same bad crap under a different label, and people are rabidly religious about it. Oh SuperValue, where have you gone you lovable corporate giant? Nevermind. I’ll just shop at the co-op.

    • In terms of a decent selection of (mostly) decent food, they’re hard to beat. If you need something particular, they’ll usually have it. The vegetables are gorgeous.

      Their steam table and deli items can be excellent as well. (Try the pastrami!)

      And the prices are utterly stunning.

  • marxalot

    Whole Paycheck is well-named.
    Who knew it was on purpose? How sinister.

  • They recently opened a nice shiny new Whole Foods in my neighborhood. I went in there once and wound up being seduced by the cutey-pie Cheesemonger to buy 50 bucks worth of moldy milk products. The yuppie in front of me at the check out was buying “THANK GOD AT LAST!” several ugly lookin’ critters called ‘Dragon Fruit’ – much to the consternation of the young check out girl.

    Fortunately our local soul food meat and threes, rib joints, and murky seafood markets remain untouched by creeping gentrification – so far . . .

    I am ready and willing to welcome our Trader Joe’s overlords, though.

    Oh and: Yea! for SCOTUSCare!

  • Callyson

    I will admit that they have a great salad bar…but it’s not good enough to pay even more than the weight of the actual food I am eating. Fuck Whole Foods with a chainsaw of declining profits.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      You and me both. When I was doing a job in RI, I worked near one, and was often there for the salad bar; nice, fresh veggies and good toppings. Did seem expensive, now I guess I know the reason for that. But this was all before I knew about their moral corruption. I won’t shop their any more, although I admit that their produce was some of the best that could be found in the markets when I lived in New England. Now I live in a spot with multiple local farmers’ markets, so I feel pretty good about the quality and the vendors.

  • JohnR

    John Mackey is a RWNJ, that aside I do buy my oats from the bulk bins because it’s the cheapest I can find and occasionally buy a few other things but not much.

  • Redgyal

    And to think that they got their start in the “liberal” capital of Texas.

    • marxalot

      Where we go to the Wheatsville co-op or a farmer’s market for our produce and the HEB or carniceria for everything else.

  • I’ve found some really delicious steel cut oats at the much more sincere local ‘Big Lots’.

    • BeliTsari

      I’m actually thinking about Portland, OR, since there’s a Big Lots* right down the street from the terrifying, atavistic nightmarish HORROR of Trader Joe’s PARKING LOT! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hUrcGCQV1g

      * I’ve filled my car, down Birmingham, with stuff the locals won’t touch & driven it 1,000 mi to NYC.

      • Anarchy Pony

        Are Trader Joe parking lots madness everywhere?

        • cousin itt

          Yes. I think they provide amusement for the employees. I tend to go for street parking and avoid the whole debacle.

        • BeliTsari

          My very-most-favorite, was an elderly couple, in a 1978 Bonneville, very casually backing into a yuppie’s Porsche Cayenne in Pennsylvania. He was on his phone.
          Another was out Sebastapol, CA. A lizard lady in a X5 driving into a lizard lady in a Q7… trying to exit, text & drink lattes simultaneously, at 45mph. I LOVE California!

          Librul hippys in Volvo’s & Subarus are simply too scary to watch, EuroNCAP-wise!

          • david green

            Must be something Trader Joe’s seek in a location. The one here has a tiny parking lot, which means cars are lined up out of the parking lot and into the street. Which is a narrow two lane road with a lot of traffic. I’ll part two blocks away and walk rather than try to enter that Death Match.

          • BeliTsari

            At first, since Theo owned so much of BMW, I’d simply assumed Trader Joe’s acquisition was to enhance their sales, repair & service departments? Then I wondered if the whole thing was some psychological experiment, y’know the lizard people getting-off on security camera live feeds, as we’d watch fire ants eating a primate or a particularly malevolent laiissez faire zoo, full of wolverines feeding on cobras & rabid bats? Now, I realize they just like to see yuppie ladies pull each other’s just grey enough hair, throw Teva sandals, i Pads & try to claw each other’s eyes out, devoid of nails & seriously, just who can blame them?

      • That’s the ticket.

        Find the Big Lots closest to the fancy pants expensive stores and welcome to the world of $1.50 imported organic pickled cauliflower. If you’re lucky, they may still offer the ‘Duck Dynasty’ designer hot sauce collection.

        • BeliTsari

          I’ll get two carts & EMPTY the irrdiated, mylar-wrapped Indian MREs, Kraut jars of pickled red cabbage, Norwegian sardines, Turkish pomegranate juice, Polish ANYTHING… and all the REAL, glass jars of truly marvelous small, independent REAL food start-ups, who tried to make good, wholesome products to sell at reasonable prices… that fucking Whole Foods & Trader Joes wiped out, with overpriced crap, imported from death-squad enforced, monoculture, CAFOs & inspection-free toxic waste farms… and furthermore… RANT, RAVE… Snif!

          Jesus, was that all ONE run-on sentence?

    • BeliTsari

      PPS: If you’re talking about Bob’s steel cut oats, you can get his stuff lots cheaper @ VitaCost?

      • david green

        Bob’s Red MIll makes some good stuff.

        • BeliTsari

          It’s CRAZY: I moved to Manhattan’s UWS from some ridge-line in the Poconos (bears on the porch, saucer abductions & beryllium filled coal mines). I’m buying about 15% MORE online here, between Zabars, Murray’s Sturgeon & Trader Joe’s, than I ever bought up in ‘Deliverance’ meets ‘The Painted Bird’ land. We still buy dried provisions at the Indian & Middle Eastern markets here. But, MAN, do I ever miss the Amish Farmer markets, smokehouses, road stands CSA & food Co-Ops!

  • The non-hipster Food Lion chain got busted for this in the 1990s, but got off on a technicality. The douchebag CEO should’ve done his research.

  • jmk

    In my pursuit of acceptable vegan food for the offspring, I have developed a few strategies for navigating Whole Foods:
    1. Go to Trader Joe’s across the street first and stock up on as much as you can at decent prices, using Whole Foods only for specialty items.
    2. Assume you’re going to be ripped off.
    3. Monitor everything the offspring puts into the cart with hawk-like attention …firmly reject idiotic items like $10 jars of pickles, $15 pasta sauces, and $35 boxes of matcha.
    4. Assume you’re going to be ripped off.
    5. Deploy your cart defensively, always being aware that there’s no ruder fellow shopper than a patchouli-scented, dreadlocked white lady wearing an Indian skirt and t-shirt with a few poorly-behaved kids in tow.
    6. Assume you’re going to be ripped off.
    7. Don’t forget to bring your own bags or dreadlocked white ladies who, though oblivious to their own rudeness and the poor behavior of their kids feel free to judge you instantly for the slightest thing, will aim withering contempt in your direction.
    8. Assume you’re going to be ripped off.

    • MrBlobfish

      I sense a pattern here.

    • cousin itt

      Which aisle are the dreadlocked white ladies on?

      • jmk

        AOT,K

        They do seem to lurk most aggressively in the frozen aisle, the baby food aisle, and the paper goods aisle, though.

      • They’re in the wine aisle, slipping the chardonnay underneath the quinoa.

    • Relativicus

      Wait, you have a Trader Joe’s with decent prices?!?

      • jmk

        Comparatively, yes.

        Grocery shopping is an all-day event in my house. First we hit up the Asian grocery for the offspring’s favorite tea and any silly packaged ramen crap he fancies to feed his addiction to all things Japanese, then swing by TJ’s for some stuff, cross the street to spend too much money at WF, go to the farm stand for actual fresh veggies, then to the regular grocery store for regular groceries.

    • r m reddicks

      2, 4, 6, 8! Who do we appreciate. Oh, and organize to smash the state also and too.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      But should I assume I’m going to be ripped off?

      • jmk

        Hmmm… maaaaybeeeee….

    • BeliTsari

      Once you’ve survived the melee in the parking lots, glance wistfully, longingly to where the long abandoned, “hippy” Food Co-Op store USED to be, back before Reagan’s Miracle…

      Then proceed to Big Lots & buy Polish, German, Turkish, Indian & out-of-business Mom & Pop USA made Organic/ non-GMO products, from the huge piles on the shelves, way in the back?

      • jmk

        Such is the area in which I live that there is no Big Lots nearby.

        When I leave Whole Foods, though, I’m often overwhelmed with the urge to go next door to Petsmart and ask if I can hug some of their puppies to recover.

        • BeliTsari

          Free range, non-CAFO, reduced cruelty, non-GE, fair trade puppies? HMMmmm…

          We could make us a FORTUNE!

          PS: About your 5th point, above: Here in NYC, it’s Asian au-pairs, using prams as battering rams. Granted, the indigenous Yuppy churls do this as well (multi- child prams, while texting), but since the most precious commodity on this island is a studied, dead-eyed obliviousness to one & all, only the au-pairs MEAN business!

          This IS the UWS… so I’m picturing them all with bayoneted CTAR-21 rifles with grenade launchers, some day REALLY quite soon, piled hip deep at the escalator?

          • jmk

            I have been to the UWS, and know this to be truth…

            For us, here in… ahem!… a university town out on the Island, there are fewer au pairs and more hipster-wannabees, but the stink-eye and the clear trajectory toward actual armaments is the same.

          • BeliTsari

            Oh, my LORD! So you weren’t exaggerating? You have to PARK there???

            Oh, the HORROR! http://www.wired.com/2015/06/heres-can-buy-russian-tank/ I’d go for the old T34: taller, easier to park!

  • Callyson

    By the way (and beware of the auto-play from CNBC):

    Despite this cheap-ass move, Whole Foods’ same-store-sales figure of less than 3 percent obviously disappointed investors, and the stock was hit hard:

    there is an increased amount of competition in the organic and natural food space, which has reduced traffic and lowered prices. What used to be a niche corner of the market has been adopted by the masses, even as Wal-Mart and Target get in on the action.

    tl;dr: even grifting does not always pay.

  • Poly_Ester

    Perhaps weighing and measuring are against their deeply held religious beliefs.

    • Jared James

      I’m just waiting for the Todd Starnes/Eric Bolling article about how this is Big Government persecuting Christians free market Alinsky something something Soros plot FEMA camps.

    • Relativicus

      Scales are the work of the devil.

      • cousin itt

        Especially the pentatonic.

        • MrBlobfish

          Devil’s interval libelz!1

          • eggsacklywright

            No scales on MrBlobfish?

      • eggsacklywright

        Prunella libel!

  • Walter Wellstone

    Who cares? The SCOTUS just did the right thing on the ACA.

    • Battle v. War

    • david green

      Well most of them did the right thing anyway.

  • SCOTUSCare or GTFO.

  • exinkwretch

    If you’re lucky enough to live in a western state that has them, do your grocery shopping at Winco. Prices on staples are at least a third less than elsewhere. They have an awesome bulk food section — including spices (no $10 bottles of bay leaves!!!). Even better, they’re an an employee-owned company and everybody who has worked there more than a few years has a fat 401 (k) because it’s growing so fast.

  • Beaumarchais?

    But croutons taste better when they cost $16 a pound!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      The thumb on the scale intensifies the taste.

  • Joshua Norton

    A friend of mine went to Whole Foods today to buy $27 cruelty-free aluminum foil and $43 free-range water. She was thrown out for not wearing yoga pants.

  • Sebastian Melmoth

    Well, you have to realize Whole Foods is based in Texas. I haven’t set foot in a Whole fods, even if it is the closest supermarket to my house, since I read the John Mackey interview in the New York Times Magazine. You can read it for yourself: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/20/magazine/john-mackey-the-kale-king.html?_r=0

  • notanncoulter

    stopped shopping there after the dickhead obamacare comments.
    have not been back since.

    • H0mer0

      Sometimes I get a hankering for Loakers cappuccino wafer cookies and only wf sold them so when I had a gift card, I went there. When Mackey made that ACA comment, I thought, if people are willing to pay ten dollars for a f–king cantaloupe, I’m sure they would be willing to pay more to help pay for health insurance and other benefits for the clerks and stock people. This business model does not surprise me.

  • docterry6973

    But it’s ORGANIC!!!

  • Bill Slider

    So, leaning on the scales with one’s elbow while weighing the lettece has consequences, who knew?

  • Bitter Scribe

    Whole Foods is going to open a new line of stores called 365 Markets that will offer the same wholesome, natural/organic foods they already sell, but at affordable prices.

    Which kind of opens the question: Why not just lower the prices in the stores you already have?

    • BeliTsari

      Now, just HOW did W. C. Fields put it? Sorry, simply can NOT remember…. Damn!

      • H0mer0

        I remember how PT Barnum put it.

    • Mintie

      Obviously 365 will be for poor people.

      • Bitter Scribe

        I know you’re being funny, but if you have some time, check out this Slate article about how Whole Foods, with much self-congratulation, opened a store in inner-city Detroit. What I especially liked was how the writer initially had open access to Walter Robb, their co-CEO, but it dried up as she began to push back against his breezy assertions.

        • Mintie

          I’m being funny in the sense that I’m using it as a weapon of social criticism. ;)

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    You can make a lot of dough if you short-weight the right products.

    • elviouslyqueer

      I have not one but TWO cilantro bushes in my backyard. I’M RICH!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I plan to start a chive plantation, and retire.

  • jangoodell

    Just checked–the nearest WFS is 9 hours/600+ miles away. I’ll buy my tofu elsewhere.

  • PTK65

    Last time I went there, about 8 years ago, was when I decided to get some plum tomatoes for a sauce I was making. I picked out about 3lbs worth, neverminding the price. On checkout, they weighed in at $85. I left them there and never went back. They didn’t even give me a massage. Fuckers.

    • essbird

      WF tomatoes don’t come with Vaseline.

      • H0mer0

        what about a happy ending?

    • Mintie

      Well duh, the guy who’s throat-cramming you isn’t the one who gets the massage. And besides, you should be grateful they’re letting you pay for the privilege of being assaulted.

  • Charles Cates

    When Whole Foods had a single store on Lamar Blvd. in Austin (the one that always flooded) a friend was shopping and overheard a wine rep telling an employee they had marked the wine $2.00 more than other places (this was in 1981 or so). The employee just chuckled and said “they’ll pay it”.

  • Gorillionaire

    I did go to a Whole Foods over the weekend and I saw a Prius there with a “Ben Carson 2016” sticker on it.

    • BeliTsari

      Yet, many religions persist in contending human’s are incapable of perfection?

    • Official Teabagger

      Are you sure what you saw wasn’t a Hoveround?

    • H0mer0

      not a deadhead sticker on a Cadillac?

  • missannthrope

    There’s no WF where I live, unless I want to travel 200 miles north to Albuquerque. We would kill for a Trader Joe’s or Aldi’s here, though. Most of the hipsters here shop in the local co-op. Most of the time when I go in there, I look at the prices, look at the selection of produce that looks like it’s seen better days and then go across the street to Albertsons, our very run of the mill normal supermarket. Or to Big Lots, where I can get a very nice variety of imported foods at a reasonable price. But I’m constantly amazed at the number of so-called liberals who are so willing to shop at WF, where the business practices are shader than at Koch Industries. And where employees are lucky to make more than minimum wage.

    • starfanglednut

      Actually, as evil as they are, they pay pretty well for a retail job, including gainsharing, etc.

  • L.A. Lady

    So people shop at Whole Foods, pay too much, then the government steps in and collects a fine? That’s like someone hitting a pedestrian with a car and the cop on the scene gets the insurance money.

  • MikeyArmstrong

    I’ve only been there a handful of times and I have employed the five finger discount on several visits.

  • chethardy

    Happening a lot here at our Whole Foods, thousands of miles away. Wife catches all this stuff. They are pretty nasty about it when they get caught, too.

    We figured they had the subtlety to hide it with some kind of incentive program for the managers. I guess in this day and age, they don’t need to cover their tracks.

  • Scott K

    I work for whole foods. They make it seem like a great place to be. ITS HORRIBLE! They price gouge, talk down to employees and are crooked. I developed severe anxiety and depression from working there in that hostile work environment I was even suicidal for a wile. They really aren’t that good to there “team members” they just care about making money and only carrying things with a high enough margin (at least 40%) if it’s not a 365 product

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