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Yeah, those are totally the same.

The Confederate “Rebel” flag has stood as a symbol, for decades upon decades, of black people being enslaved, oppressed under Jim Crow laws, being LYNCHED simply for who they are. The rainbow gay pride flag is a pretty rainbow that means something like “ohana” for all the gays, we don’t fucking know, we’re bad at gayness. But did you know, that in the perpetually aggrieved and butthurt fever dreams of anti-gay “Christian” wingnuts, the gay pride flag is LITERALLY lynching them, and also Holocausting them? IT’S TWOO! Grab a box of Kleenex, because you’re going to need something to wipe up all the tears of laughter empathy you’re about to shed for America’s most oppressed majority.

You see, with all this talk of the Confederate flag coming down, wingnuts are seizing the opportunity to say, “Oh yeah? You gonna take the flag that makes us feel good about hating The Blacks? Well fair’s fair, take down your fag flag too, because it hurts our pussy-ass FEELINGS.” Bryan Fischer will start us off, because nobody can top Bryan Fischer in the bugfuck insane department. All others who repeat his words are simply Bryan Fischer’s Big Nelly Bottoms:

“If we are going to remove symbols of oppression from our culture, if we come to the point where we say any flag that represents bigotry, any flag that represents hatred, any flag that represents slavery or oppression needs to be removed, then I want to suggest to you that the next flag to go ought to be the rainbow flag of the Gay Reich. The rainbow flag represents the homosexual lobby, it represents Big Gay, it represents what I’m calling for the first time today, I’m introducing a new term: the Gay Reich. They’ve got a flag just like the Nazis had their flag.”

Now look, he’s NOT SAYING GAYS ARE NAZIS, even though he just used his made-up, sure-to-catch-on term, “Gay Reich.”

I’m not saying that they’re Nazis, I’m not saying that, I’m saying the Nazis had a flag, the Confederates have a flag, the United States has a flag, and the gay lobby, Big Gay, the Gay Gestapo, they’ve got a flag. And it’s the rainbow flag. And I’m suggesting to you that that flag is a symbol of slavery and oppression and bigotry and prejudice and bias. So if we’re going to go after symbols of oppression, we oughta make the rainbow flag the next target for removal in our culture.”

See, the gays are just like all the murderous regimes, and also the United States! The fact that he also uses the phrase “Gay Gestapo” is of no consequence. He’s just saying that gays are exactly like Nazis, except instead of rounding up Jews, we’re rounding up fundamentalist Christians and gassing them in concentration camps, which really interferes with brunch.

Of course, in point of fact, the rainbow flag and any other symbols of gay liberation, like the pink triangle THE NAZIS FORCED GAYS TO WEAR, represent freedom from bigotry and oppression and prejudice and bias, but Bryan Fischer is a motherfucking loon, who believes that gays did the Holocaust.

Now, many people on the Right, to their credit, acknowledge that Bryan Fischer’s picture probably should decorate the front of the DSM-IV manual, and pay him little attention, but Dead Breitbart’s John Nolte is dumber than a bag of syphilitic fucks, so he’d like to to expand on Fischer’s diatribe, please:

nolte1

nolte2

noltle3

In this reading, we assume “hasn’t been paying attention” is synonymous with people who are “current on their shots.” Nolte followed up his little Twitter diaper-loading session with a short column:

Under this banner of hate, people are outed against their will, terrorized out of business merely for being Christian, bullied and harassed for thoughtcrimes; moreover, “hate crimes” are being manufactured to keep us divided, Christians are refused service, death threats are hurled, and Christianity is regularly smeared as hate speech.

Poor John Nolte is far too stupid to understand that none of the examples he lists are true, the way he says them, but briefly: Politicians have been outed for trolling Grindr for strange dick while voting against the interests of the LGBT community. This is called the “Barney Frank Rule,” and it is fair game. Nobody has been “terrorized out of business” for being Christian. Nolte refers to the Deliverance extras who run Memories Pizza in Indiana, who got near a million ameros on GoFundMe for saying they’re such bigots they’d never cater a gay wedding, not that a gay wedding would ever want their shitty pizza. The thing about “thoughtcrime” refers to the dumb rich gays who decided it would be a good idea to suck Ted Cruz’s cock and are now OPPRESSED! because other gays think they’re assholes. Sigh.

The rest of Nolte’s leaking abscess of a paragraph is just more whiny “we’re the REAL victims!” bullshit. Check his links if you don’t believe us.

Nolte’s compatriot at Dead Breitbart, the never-nude Vestal Virgin Ben Shapiro, is being oppressed by rainbow flags AND crosswalks:

shapiro

Of course, a gay conservative wouldn’t read all this and agree with it, would they? Let’s visit the Stupidest Homosexual On The Internet, Gay Patriot, and see what he has to say:

John Nolte has a point, if you’re on the wrong side of gay marriage or any other agenda items, then this is the flag of your oppressor.

Ha ha, that dumbass Quisling never fails to deliver. Yr Wonkette may not know all the history of the gay flag, but when you’re sucking anti-gay talking points out of John Nolte’s winkie right after Bryan Fischer deposited them in his throat, YOU’RE DOING GAY WRONG. Unless that’s what you’re into, no judgment.

[Right Wing WatchThe New Civil Rights Movement]

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  • Tallmutha

    I’m suggesting to you that that flag is a symbol of slavery and oppression and bigotry and prejudice and bias.

    That’s not what you’re suggesting to me. To me, you suggest a jackoff-fevered hyena.

  • marxalot

    For the last time, the leatherboys are just wearing the hats, they’re not actual Gestapo.
    The Lavender Mafia is totally a thing, though.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The Lavender Mafia wears hats like that guy from Raiders of the Lost Ark. No, not Indiana Jones, the guy who grabbed the hot staff headpiece.

      • Jaime Oria

        “- hot staff headpiece -“
        IYKWIMAITYD

    • BackDoorMan

      … wasn’t that an episode of Will & Grace? With Sir (or Madame, take your pick) Elton John playing the Prima Don?

  • ArgieBargie

    I didn’t know Al Bundy was such a opinionated, bigoted asshole.

    • Tallmutha

      Oh God, I knew somebody was gonna do that.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Your avatar looks like it has its head on backwards, sort of like C3PO after Chewbacca tried to re-assemble him.

  • Spotts1701

    Sure, sure. You just show me an actual army committing assault, battery and destruction while wielding the rainbow flag as their banner, and we’ll talk.
    Until then grab some pine, meat.

  • Ricky Gay

    beautifully written!

  • Rocky

    Well…owning some people is just not the same as being some people.

  • dslindc

    Achievement Unlocked! Wingnuttery Bonus Level!

  • dslindc

    You know who else was called a Reich and a Gestapo?

    • JohnBull

      Less than half of the Supreme Court in 2000?

    • Spotts1701

      The assistant principal of the middle school I attended?

    • CalvinianChoice

      Major Hochstetter?

    • MrBlobfish

      Robert and Jimmy?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Reich&Gestapo, the infamous comedy duo from the 1920s that were denied success because Laurel&Hardy were actually funny?

      • Zippy

        I thought Reich&Gestapo wrote that song-

        save a horse, ride a cowboy

  • elviouslyqueer

    I’m still trying to cipher exactly how that rainbow crosswalk is discriminatory to Ben Shapiro. I mean, does it come with a sign saying “Whiny Petulant Douchebags Shall Not Pass” or something?

    • Lizzietish81
      • elviouslyqueer

        Yup. One of my idols!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, Ben takes accurate descriptions of him very poorly.

    • marxalot

      Obvs, its for gaymos only. Poor Ben will have to run across the street like a common jaywalker, barred from using the crosswalk, at risk of being run down by a malicious queer in a Prius.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Or some lesbian in a Subaru.

      • elviouslyqueer

        The rainbow, it BURNS!

      • sw19womble

        Or a bisexual on a …. dammit, writer’s block!

        • elviouslyqueer

          Seesaw?

          • sw19womble

            ISWYDT :)

        • kindness

          A bisexual with Grindr & Tindr windows both open?

        • mtn_philosoph

          … in a Subaru, rollin’ coal?

      • BackDoorMan

        … the really malicious ones are driving a Priapus. You’re definitely going to feel that.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I don’t know, but if it’s because wingnuts have a superstitious fear that they will burst into flames if they walk on a rainbow painted surface, I suspect we are going to see a lot of thresholds and porches protected by rainbow power from now on.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Now, if they only couldn’t comment until invited, like vampires crossing a threshold.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Shapiro badly needs a dictionary. He can’t tell the difference between “discriminatory” and “inclusionary.”

      • Bearpaw01

        We’re discriminating against him by being inclusive of people he wants to discriminate against.

      • BackDoorMan

        … he has a dictionary. The trouble is, all the pages after ‘D’ were torn out and used in the outhouse.

    • Maybe he doesn’t own a go-kart.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The Gay Gestapo has ways of making you talk, and they are fabulous!

  • cousin itt

    Herr Nolte,

  • marxalot

    Damn, we must be hot stuff. Us just existing is an act of aggression, and walking around admitting to our own existence can erase or oppress the dominant Western religious/political faction of the past thousand odd years.
    Let’s party!

    • willi0000000

      how about after you do some more of that “walking around admitting to our own existence” . . . because if anything needs to be destroyed it’s the political xians.

  • Joshua Norton

    They’ve got a flag just like the Nazis had their flag.

    Jokes on you bub. It never started out as an intentional “gay flag”. Originally is was just some pretty bunting hanging along Market Street during the original SF Pride parades. It kind of took off from there.

    • For those of you not from San Francisco, “pretty bunting” is slang for a transvestite little person.

      • sw19womble

        I knew Pretty Bunting. I worked with Pretty Bunting. You, sir, are no Pretty Bunting!

        • Latverian Diplomat

          I knew her when she was just Baby Bunting.

    • mtn_philosoph

      It started out in the ’60s as a hippie flag.

  • The Big Truth

    Those who fly the Big Gay flag are discriminating against those who want to discriminate against those flying the Big Gay flag.

    540° slam dunk for the win!

    • BackDoorMan

      … I love it when someone understands Republican Logic! Lawd knows I’ve tried, but I’ve never been able to manage it. It always seemed to be a Derpius Strip to me.

  • Lizzietish81
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Actually, the kitchen table is quite the conversationalist compared to this biddy.

      • BackDoorMan

        … I know mine is. Sure, she’s older, and she does groan and squeak if I overload her, but I understand exactly what that means. This woman OTOH… I’m not sure she could even reach that level of discourse.

  • Metadude

    I once knew a member of the Gay Gestapo. Well, he had the uniform and everything.

  • Randy Riddle

    Meh. It’s not like we’re flogging them with the Leather Pride flag.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Pix, or GTFO

  • say wha

    Say, you know who else has their own flag?

    • Lizzietish81

      The moon?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      France?

    • toomanyrappers

      Super Mario?

    • Rocky

      And when you have a flag:

      https://youtu.be/UTduy7Qkvk8

    • MrBlobfish

      Scout troop 54?

      • Zippy

        they put it on their car

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Company B, 8th Signal Battalion, 8th Infantry Division (Mechanized)?

      Oh, wait, that’s a guidon. Never mind.

      • Steverino247

        What about the 2/72 Prophylactic Testing Detachment at Ft. Hymen, Utah?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Prolly also a guidon.

          • Steverino247

            Their motto? “Cover me. I’m going in.”

    • sw19womble

      That nice Mr Gadsden?

      • Zippy

        I wonder where he purchased it?

        • say wha

          South of the Border

    • sw19womble

      Henry Rollins?

      • Zippy

        I’d love to turn Henry Rollins loose on that asshole Bryan Fischer

    • JohnBull

      This guy?

    • FlownOver

      Leonard and Sheldon? It’s in the Roommate Agreement.

    • mtn_philosoph

      The House of Baratheon?

    • mtn_philosoph

      Old-fashioned railroad semaphore signals?

  • MrBlobfish

    OK. Fine. Take down the rainbow flag from in front of the South Carolina statehouse. While your at it, remove the statue of Liberace from the rotunda.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Also too, Mr. Nolte, we gay brethren and sistren don’t hate all Christians. We do, however, hate dumbass motherfuckers who make decent Christians look like complete bigoted assholes.

    Just so you know.

  • ibwilliamsi

    I say we gay marriage John Nolte and get his gay oppression done and over with now. Poor sucker can’t stand the slow burn.

  • PsycWench

    Everything Bryan Fischer knows about logic was gleaned from the hearing scene in Animal House

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Blowjob! (cough cough cough)”

    • CalvinianChoice

      Ladies and gentlemen, I’ll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests – we did.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        (wink)

    • Mintie

      Will you tell those assholes to shut up?

  • Mary Sandoras

    “Check his links if you don’t believe us”

    I do not have enough disinfectant to take that journey.

  • Lady Bug

    Hmm, “Big Gay” Wishful thinking there Mr. Fischer?

  • OneYieldRegular

    GOD HATES FLAGS!

  • Tallmutha

    Well, these guys have their presidential candidate now. A man who cried “Never retreat, never surrender” to the gay fascist agenda. A man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the dogs, the filth. Ladies and gentlemen, BOBBY JINDAL is officially running for President!

    • MrBlobfish

      *swoon*

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The GOP has to stop being the party of stupid, which is why Piyush is in the running!

    • OneYieldRegular

      I assume his campaign logo is going to be “Jindal!”

      • say wha

        Jindal, the Other White Meat!

        • Zippy

          just look at his painting!

          • BackDoorMan

            Not again. Once was enough. I used to like Alfred E. Neuman. Even when he was mashed up with Chimpy McFlightsuit. But now, all I see is Jindal E. Neuman and that gives me a sadz.

        • BackDoorMan

          … it just stayed a little too long on the barbecue.

      • BackDoorMan

        … I assume his campaign theme song is going to be The Piysusher – if he can steal get the rights from Steppenwolf/Hoyt Axton.

    • Zippy

      There were three people I think you would agree my wife Supriya and I had to tell first.

      Ummm, the three people stupid enough to vote for you?

      • dshwa

        The Father, the Son, and The Holy Ghost?

        • Zippy

          They caught the last train for the coast…

          • dshwa

            The day his campaign died.

          • BackDoorMan

            … I believe his campaign was stillborn. It’s whatchacall one of them ‘Holy Abortions’.

      • BackDoorMan

        … from what I saw of his announcement, there was at least one who abstained. The other two didn’t look none too fucking enthusiastic either.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Bless his heart, but that campaign website looks like something he cobbled together in 15 minutes on WordPress.

      • Suse

        The best thing on the page: “Look, a Turtle!”

        • BackDoorMan

          … Jon Stewart had his usual wicked fun with that on his program tonight… Man, I am so going to miss him at the desk of The Daily Show!

  • 1Centrist

    I think the author should have warned his readers to watch the Bryan Fischer clip after reading the whole article. Reading something isn’t the same as hearing it in realtime. When Fischer said “Big Gay,” I almost choked and sprayed my coffee.

    • PsycWench

      ” choked and sprayed my coffee”…is that what you kids are calling it nowadays?

      • 1Centrist

        I see I’m going to have to sharpen my wit for this website. (If that isn’t a straightline for someone in this crowd, I don’t know what is.)

        • Blank Ron

          Nah, we don’t do that to each other.
          Not very often.
          Okay, less than 75% of the time.
          Most days.

    • Lazy Media

      “I’m super, thanks for asking!” He meant Big Gay Al, right?

      • 1Centrist

        Please explain this to me. You got two thumbs up and I don’t get it. TIA for your response.

        • Amy!

          Let me Google that for you.

          • 1Centrist

            Thanks, Amy!. Jeez! What a rip. I don’t watch South Park. I’m hard of hearing and can barely understand the dialogue, but YouTube is your friend.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    The false-equivalency generator has outdone itself this time.

    It’s quite a good “can’t lose” set up – to point out that the comparison is ludicrous is to admit being part of the vast conspiracy.

    FEMA, FEMA, FEMA – where ARE you in this hour of deepest need?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I blame Obama for not having the reeducation camps up and ready. He’s had six fucking years!!

      • PsycWench

        In this case, I think it would be more appropriate to term them “education camps”.

        • sw19womble

          Or just creches, given all the whiny titty babies involved.

  • Michael Smith

    This is going to be really bad news for the gay southerners who want to both pull their pistols and whistle Dixie.

    • Michael Smith

      Hmm.. I was trying really hard to find a way to work that line into a joke

      • Jack C. Hall Jr.

        Alexander Stephens, Vice President of the COnfederacy would be so upset……you know he was GAY

    • elviouslyqueer

      The only Dixie I know is Dixie Normous. FWIW.

      • Virginia Dreaming

        I was actually typing Dixie Normous into google to figure out who they are, when the joke hit me. Now I’m not sure if I am laughing more at the pun or myself for being so slow to recognize it.

        • Lady Bug

          Sounds like a great Sister of Perpetual Indulgence name!

        • sw19womble

          Sounds like we’d better break the news about Florida’s Hugh Johnson to you slowly…. :)

          • Virginia Dreaming

            Probably :-)

      • marxalot

        Does a turn with Helena Handbag on Thursdays and for Sit Down Stand Up Sunday brunch?

        • mtn_philosoph

          “Stand up! Sit down! Rah Rah Rah!” More often heard on Friday nights in autumn.

      • BackDoorMan

        … was she in that trio The Chixeat Dicks?

  • Reddishrabbit

    Does anyone know if Wamblances are listed on the stock market? So much but hurt, they have to be rolling in dough.

  • Zippy

    Crank up the right wing outrage Wurlitzer and turn it up to eleven. It’s time to play the greatest hits, starting with an old favorite- we’re the real victims here…

    • mtn_philosoph

      Seventh circle of hell inning stretch time already?

  • timpundit

    Oh god. Just like the whistle dicks that STILL claim “we took prayers out of the schools!”, the racists are going to be claiming “we made confederate flags illegal”.

    I think that is one of their tactics. To be overwhelmingly wrong on so many topics at once it’s impossible to swat all the derp down, therefore , like a spermatozoa of white-hot hate, at least one gets thru and starts replicating itself, spreading derp to others nearby.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Yes, the Confederates enslaved human beings and tore the country apart defending their right to do so.
    But the gays…EXIST!!! And now they’re not even hiding!
    These two things are exactly the same, which is why the rainbow flag has to stop flying over…whichever state capitols it’s flying over.
    I am not a crackpot.

  • Tallmutha

    I think the thing to do now is invite Bryan Fischer and John Nolte and Ben Shapiro to have a serious conversation, an honest dialogue about exactly how much gay people are like the Gestapo.

  • goonemeritus

    Brain might be on to something both the Gestapo and the Gay community
    have always been known for the sartorial flair.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Can one of the delegations at the UN hoist it over the headquarters pretty please? I want to see the results of some epic trolling!

  • Ryan Denniston

    I would pay good money if someone would compile some sort of wingnut bestiary, replete with descriptions of Thoughts and Theories.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Isn’t that conservapedia?

      • Ryan Denniston

        Oh good Lord and savior! This exists! What a wonderful invention. Forgive me while I steep myself in filth for the next week and not comment here, because commenters are not welcome.

        • Left Coast Tom

          Oh, if you want another such…invention?…there’s also a ConservaBible project, where Phyllis Schlafly’s idiot son tries to re-write the Bible, replacing all the hippy-sounding words with “strong conservative words”.

          • BackDoorMan

            … that one’s my favourite – especially the part about ignoring the whole “let he who is without sin cast the first stone…” so go ahead and be just as judgmental as you damn well please, it’s the Conservative Jeebus Way!

          • BackDoorMan

            … that one’s my favourite – especially the part about ignoring the whole “let he who is without sin cast the first stone…” so go ahead and be just as judgmental as you damn well please, it’s the Conservative Jeebus Way!

  • we’re bad at gayness

    Practice makes perfect.

    • BackDoorMan

      … it’s like riding a bicycle, everyone can do it but not everyone makes it to the Tour de France.

  • Virginia Dreaming

    I wonder if Fischer goes to the Nazi allusions so quickly because he and his boyfriend like to cosplay in nazi uniforms, or if he just likes to fantasize about it.

    • Lazy Media

      NTTAWWT

      • nmmagyar

        Hugo Boss’ designs will always be timeless…

  • Relativicus

    I’m glad this came up because the whole “History stopped in 1960, so it’s a Democrat flag!1!1!” thing was getting tiresome real fast.

    God help these people, and God save us from them, if they ever experience real oppression.

    Oh, and off-topic, but did anyone else see Congress is about to give the lawless, Constitution-shredding, tyrannical, anti-Christianist ObamaHitler fast track authority for the TPP? Because that’s how you fight your oppressor.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Corporate oppression is just fine by them, as the bribes, favors, and revolving doors to industry positions are just super.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    If you think being criticized for your opinions is “oppression,” please deposit a complaint in the box, conveniently located inside the lion cage.

  • Electric Ukelele Land

    Man, people will say anything to get themselves on the Internet.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Doesn’t noting that the Gay Flag is An Oppressive Symbol make them Gay, the same way pointing out racism makes YOU the REAL RACIST?

    Twisted way to come out, Brian Fischer, but maybe now it gets better.

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    The Gay Reich is not retreating! It is advancing toward the rear.

    >I’ll show myself out now.<

  • sw19womble

    To be fair, it’s an open secret that the Asexual Agenda want to drown babies and forcefully sterilize all breeders.

    • sw19womble

      ..

  • Come here a minute

    The holocausting wouldn’t be so bad if the flag wasn’t so RELENTLESSLY gay!

    • Blank Ron

      It just keeps coming, and coming, and coming.

      • BackDoorMan

        … that’s what happens when it’s always being crammed down your throat, or constantly in your face, or giving you perpetual butt-hurt (“y’er doin’ it rong”)…

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Let’s see, have there been any lynchings or mass-killings where the perpetrator carried or was photographed with a rainbow flag?

    I bet there must be at least none.

    • cmb

      That also the number of state capitols that are flying the Gay Swastika.

  • shastakoala

    The gay rainbow flag represents tolerance and celebration of a very important part of our citizenry. And it’s about time the intolerant accept this message. Besides, unlike racist flags this flag is color wheel complimentary.

  • toomanyrappers

    “Since Sept. 11, 2001, nearly twice as many people have been killed by white supremacists, antigovernment fanatics and other non-Muslim extremists than by radical Muslims: 48 have been killed by extremists who are not Muslim, compared with 26 by self-proclaimed jihadists, according to a count by New America, a Washington research center.”

    Source: The New York Times

    mobile.nytimes.com/2015/06/25/us/tally-of-attacks-in-us-challenges-perceptions-of-top-terror-threat.html?_r=0&referrer=

    • BackDoorMan

      … “doesn’t fit the narrative we’re crafting, ignore.” – Faux News Infernal Memo

  • Bureaucrap

    The Rainbow Reich in action:

    • Lady Bug

      Check out the latest dance craze kids: “Goosestep, the new step today”

  • Lazy Media

    MAN, those liberal Nazi Gestapo Big Gay lobbyists are oppressive. They’ve intimidated and bullied Republican governors in South Carolina and Alabama into calling for removal/removing the Confederate flag. Cuz errbody knows how powerful the Bama and Sakerlina gay lobbies are. No one dare say them nay.

  • Incoming Ham

    Godwinned it right out of the gate.

  • Wild Cat

    Jeez. What’s their problem? Everyone knows Stonewall Jackson not only cross-dressed, but he was also a Bro-ny.

    • Blank Ron

      So that’s why he’d say ‘Great Wickering Stallions!’ when the fighting went against him!

  • Lazy Media

    Why are there so many Reichs about rainbows?
    And why do they rule our lives?
    Rainbows are vicious and lead to delusions
    and rainbows leave nowhere to hide

    So I’ve been told
    And you better believe it
    I saw it on the teevee…
    Some day they’ll find us
    The rainbow Gestapo
    And that’s when we’ll all need to flee…

    • Blank Ron

      Beautiful! Arthur! Arthur!

  • Kat Anyperson

    I love these bigoted small minded twits who think they speak for all Christians when they gay-bash. There are many Christian (and non-christian, how quickly these idiots forget this isn’t a theocracy) denominations that celebrate the idea of lifelong love and dedication, even between same sex couples.

    The Gay pride flag is a reminder to all us LGTB people out there that we have bled and died and been socially suppressed because of who we are and who we love. It is a reminder that things will get better after the storm passes. That damn thing means hope and by golly, you can’t take that one away from us- not even by making sad comparisons to Hitler.

    Kiss my LGTB ass, bigots. We’re here, we’re queer and ya can’t get rid of us.

    • sw19womble

      TBF I’ve found that a keenly terrible dress sense and saving money by cutting my own hair tends to keep Big Gay away from me with deadly efficiency.

      • Kat Anyperson

        A good defense, but you must be careful. If you go too far with it, you’ll slip into Hipsterism. :P

        • sw19womble

          Lumbersexuals!

          • Kat Anyperson

            I think that particular subculture came from the “Bear” scene, come to think of it…

      • BackDoorMan

        … obviously you’ve been lucky. I hear tell Big Gay will swarm you and force you to dress fashionably as well as coif your hair if you offend their sensibilities. And if you resist, you’re getting a mani-pedi too. Keep a low profile is all I’m sayin’…

  • VandeGraf

    So, this guy is saying that if he cannot propagate bigotry and hatred he is literally (?) being lynched? More John Thune logic

    • AlanInSF

      No bullwhip or noose stings so great as a snide Tweet.

  • blaid droog

    They’ve got a flag just like the Nazis had their flag. yeah,but ours is much nicer. plus at the end of it there’s a pot of gold.

  • handyhippie65

    when theses azzholios can show proof of any victimization of christians by gay people,
    (not allowing the christians to inflict their religion, and punish the gays for being gay, is NOT being victimized.) i might possibly be willing to hear them out. but we all know they won’t ever find it.

  • deanbooth
    • Hardly Ideal

      I don’t know about everyone else, but flags have always creeped the hell out of me. Do we really need to be reminded of where we just happen to live with every front porch we pass? I hate to sound like Bryan Fischer, but that’d be less warm and fuzzy if all those Stars and Stripes had swastikas instead.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        The only place flags have any real value is on the battlefield. That shit can get messed up real fast, and visual cues are always welcome.

      • Blank Ron

        The very first thing Canadians notice when we cross the border (okay, the second, after the speed limit signs in miles) is all the flags. They’re EVERYWHERE. Sometimes in multiples. As if, as HI points out, people needed constant reminding of where they live.
        Up Here you see flags in front of government buildings, the odd business, and now and again a nice house, but even on Canada Day (Dominion Day for us olds) you don;t see many flags out and about. Heck, the two FLAG STORES I know of don’t fly the maple leaf out front.

        • BackDoorMan

          … I fly our flag on Canada/Dominion Day, but only because the government was giving them away free to anyone who asked, and I figured since my tax dollars already paid for it, I might as well have one. It hangs in an upper floor window, mostly because I haven’t gotten around to buying drapes for that room, but only until the end of summer. After that, I like the sun to keep the room warm. Still, I’m in a minority in my neighbourhood because as you say, there just doesn’t seem to be this incessant need to festoon everything everywhere with the flag.

  • jviscont1

    these guys have been looking to bash rainbows ever since they were told the pot of gold thing was a hoax perpetrated by the Irish.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Didn’t God give us the rainbow as a promise to never flood the entire globe ever again?

      • Blank Ron

        … it just hit me, is THAT why the RWNJs refuse to believe global warming is a Thing?

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I always get chills/thrills when I hear “Big Gay”.

  • DahBoner

    I wish the Bible would stop “misrepresenting” and “twisting” the true meaning of the Rainbow Flag.

    Basically, a rainbow is God’s promise not to go all mental and drown everyone again…

    http://media3.giphy.com/media/HeQRNGvgwxoNa/giphy.gif

    • Celtic_Gnome

      The fucker does have a temper on him. I bet he’s a mean drunk.

    • BackDoorMan

      … and a reminder to behave because you’ve seen what He can do when He’s pissed off.

  • Howcome you think they got a GAY called JANE ‘LYNCH’ HMMMMMMMM?!?!?
    WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      But, the fundies have a preacher named Oral.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Slightly o.t., but if you want to sob yourself to sleep some night, watch the PBS/Independent Lens doc, “God Loves Uganda”; about the American evangelical push to turn Uganda into a petri dish of virulent fundie gay hate. Somebody post a copy to dead Breitbart.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I used to think that a sense of entitlement only existed for rich people. But it’s actually stronger in a lot of the dumb, poor ‘conservatives’. They don’t have much, so the things they DO have or think they have – they cling to even harder, and make it a zero-sum game where if others get it, then they lose. Marriage is OURS. How DARE those gays go and try to TAKE it from us. Those schools are OURS. How DARE those awful negro children come and take them over. And so forth.

    They’re frightened, angry children crying over the toys they never thought they’d have to share.

    • zerosumgame0005

      you rang?

      • sw19womble

        ohhhh… umm… now this is embarrassing…. :<

        • zerosumgame0005

          that’s my specialty, making people uncomfortable!

          • Mark Lee McDonald

            But for every person you make uncomfortable, you comfort another right?

    • Amy!

      Lot of people don’t got much food on the table. But they got a lot of forks, ‘n’ knives. Gotta cut somethin’.
      — Bob Dylan

  • YayConspiracy

    I thought it said in the bible: ‘Thou shalt love thy neighbour’ not ‘Thou shalt pity thyself’.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Xtians tend to ignore all the hippy crap that Jesus guy said

      • OrdinaryJoe

        They turn the pages of their Bi-bulls at the parts where Jeebuzz starts sounding a bit jewishy.

  • Steverino247

    I guess the rainbow was really God’s promise not to come in your mouth.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “I’m from the Inspector General’s office and I’m here to help you!”

      “The check is in the mail!”

      • Steverino247

        Actually, the IG did wonderful things for me both times I had to consult with them. It helped that things were exactly as fucked as I described them, though.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    A much better analogy would be flying the Mexican flag at the Alamo.

    • BigDumbWhiteGuy

      Yeah, but since when has a conservative been capable of recognizing a false equivalency?

  • Anarchy Pony

    Unhinged doesn’t even begin to describe these nutbars…

    • Swampgas_Man

      So unhinged all their doors fell off long ago.

  • Callyson

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      *pats in sympathy* take heart. The more they compare their beloved Stars and Bars to the rainbow flag, the more even their most stalwart supporters start going…wait a minute

  • w9anthimos

    First they came for the intolerant fundagelical wingnuts, and I said nothing because fuck those guys.

    • Unforgotten

      And, besides, there was a Julie Andrews marathon on TV…

  • Gristle McThornbody

    Oh no,say it ain’t so, Shapiro! If I walk through the gay crosswalk or enter the city hall in West Hollywood will my straight marriage no longer be recognized? Will there be hateful gay people who will refuse to deal with me, or perhaps even scream and catcall things like “breeder” at me? Grow up, dipshit.

    • AlanInSF

      Is this crosswalk any more discriminatory against straights than the approximately inifinity “straight” crosswalks in America are against gays?

      • Gristle McThornbody

        Only against the straights who consider anything rainbowy to be an assault on their sincerely held religious beliefs. It would be a tragedy if they would decide to jaywalk and get creamed by an ice cream truck playing Liza Minelli show tunes.

        • Dee Andee

          I would play at their funerals…

    • PDX Realness

      Everyone knows that walking through a rainbow crosswalk immediately turns you gay!!! That’s why, in any neighborhood with a rainbow crosswalk, there’s usually a huge gay population in the neighborhood!

      • Amy!

        Logic!

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Not the kind you can argue against, anyway.

          • Blank Ron

            Not without having your brain try to escape via your ears.

      • Maybe if the cretins follow that rainbow crosswalk to the end, the Wonderful Wizard of Gay might grant them a brain.

      • Dee Andee

        That would be cool, because androgynous people turn me on.

      • Dee Andee

        Are their neighborhoods RELENTLESSLY GAY?

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    ok so on one side there is the stars and bars, a symbol of a failed ex-country that declared war on our country and then sulked about it so hard that they lynched black people for about a hundred years (and counting) afterward.
    On the other, a rainbow suggesting that people be allowed to have buttsechs.

    I TOTALLY SEE THE SIMILARITY NOW(too lazy for 11!)

  • Charles Cates

    I remember some of these same Sentimental Sons of the Soil protesting immigrants from Mexico openly displaying the flag of their former home. “You’re in America now, Pedro. If you are so proud of that thing go back and take it with you” or similar witty repartee. In a shoebox in my closet are all the papers I need to join the Sons of Confederate Veterans as well as Sons of the American Revolution and I’ll celebrate the retirement of the Flag of the Long-ago Fantasy by burning said papers as I BBQ a hamburger this weekend.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      You win the internet today for “Flag of the Long-ago Fantasy”

  • Alex Grey

    Yep

  • UnsaltedSinner

    “You have a flag? Then you’re just like the Nazis! That’s the rule that I just made up. And I’m backing it up with this gun that was lent by the NRA.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEx5G-GOS1k

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    This bullshit makes me wish we could get endless posts about Josh Duggar back.

  • Swampgas_Man

    Nolte and Gay Schmuck probably think making the WHOOOOLE month of February Black History Month is bigoted.

  • Swampgas_Man

    Seriously, I’ve been re-reading this and how the almighty fuck does anybody this dumb find their way out of the house in the morning? Even if they live in a single-wide trailer?

    • Jared James

      I’ve long suggested that we should probably dial back on the user-friendliness of computers, in the interest of encouraging only people able to grasp relatively simple concepts like analogies and trigonometry to appear on the internet.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Login by answering SAT questions.

      • NellCote71

        The syllabus didn’t’t say anything about math.

  • Ugh a topic combining my least favorite rhetorical inanities: the “Both Sides Do It” argument and “I Know You Are But What Am I” vapid sense of projection.

    I mean the only legitimate way “Both Sides Do It” should be applied is during bisexual porn

  • sillyclucker

    There’s a rainbow in the Bible! That means God loves you and wants everybody to be gay!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Why is God oppressing me?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Because that is what the God of asswipes like Bryan Fischer DOES. He’s an asshole. They worship a fucking imaginary asshole.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    “He’s just saying that gays are exactly like Nazis, except instead of rounding up Jews, we’re rounding up fundamentalist Christians and gassing them in concentration camps, which really interferes with brunch.”

    That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Fundamentalist Christians do not do brunch. It’s way too gay.

    Oh, wait, you’re talking about the gassing interfering with the Gays’ ability to have lunch? Never mind.

  • I’m introducing a new term: the Gay Reich. They’ve got a flag just like the Nazis had their flag

    Was it over when the gays bombed Pearl Harbor?

  • LeftyHands

    Rather than a Barney Frank rule, how about a Larry “Wide Stance” Craig rule? Too old a reference?

  • Fly

    Nothing is more intolerable to Nolte than a symbol of tolerance.

  • There is a similar crosswalk on Castro Street in SF. I am happy to say it has never discriminated against letting anyone walk on it.

  • Ranina

    Wow, I’ve always flown a rainbow flag as a symbol of tolerance and acceptance of EVERYONE. So now it means we only tolerate gays in our place of business (and home)? Christians are not welcome? They might even get shot or something? No wonder some of my relatives won’t come over anymore.

  • Em

    Conservatives are always projecting. They’re the ones who want to deny service and throw gays in prison like back in the good old Oscar Wilde days, so they pretend the gays want to do the same to them. Their imaginations are severely limited.

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