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Why is the little prince bringing flaming asparagus to a wedding?

Thanks to protests by easily-outraged parents, a teacher and an assistant principal at an elementary school in Efland, North Carolina, have resigned after the teacher read third-graders a perfectly innocuous book about a gay prince who finds love. The teacher, Omar Currie, read the story to his class after overhearing students taunting a boy in his class, calling him “gay” and saying he was acting like a girl. He’d borrowed the book from Assistant Principal Meg Goodhand, so she had to go, too — far too much gay propaganda thrown at innocent children who were simply exercising their constitutional right to bully a little homo.

All this happened at “Efland-Cheeks Elementary School,” a name we swear we are not making up.

The terrifying gay-indoctrination book, King & King, by Linda de Haan, is the story of a young prince whose parents insist he marry, but none of the princesses catch his eye until one shows up with her cute brother in tow. It’s love at first sight, and the two princes get married and live happily ever after, or at least until Christopher Nolan gets the movie rights and does a darker, grittier reboot of the story.

Currie had said that he would resign because he didn’t feel that school administrators supported him. While Goodfield and Principal Kiley Brown agreed that the book was age-appropriate and promoted diversity, Currie says he was also given two new rules for his classes:

  • Teachers must give parents a list of all the books they plan to read in class. Currie estimated that during a 180-day school year, he may read 500 books.
  • Teachers must fill out a form for each bullying incident.

Nothing like having to submit every single bit of curricular material to parents for review — that should keep teachers in line, and reading limited to safe, insubstantial fluff.

The Charlotte Observer notes that some members of the community got really, really into protesting the filthy bad homobook:

A parent who does not have a child in Currie’s class came to the school to protest the book – and Currie – last Friday. Three sheriff’s deputies were present as a precaution, Sheriff Charles Blackwood said. The man exited the school but carried a protest sign along a nearby road.

Currie said administrators pulled him out of his classroom to tell him about the man. A short time later, he said, officials told him and another teacher who had taken their students outside for recess to come back indoors.

“Here I am with my children and we’re running back into the building,” Currie said. “That moment was very scary for me.”

And now Currie and Goodhand are out, justly removed from working with Efland’s children after their utterly unspeakable act of kindness to a bullied child. Oh, and it’s also worth noting, maybe, that after Currie read the book to his class, the bullying stopped, and even more worrisome, the bullied kid LIKED THE BOOK:

“I think he probably felt reassurred (sic) for the first time that he was okay just the way he was,” the [school’s literacy] specialist wrote in an email to Currie.

So it’s pretty obvious that Currie was recruiting children to the Gay Agenda, when as all good Christian parents know, their sons must have the freedom to bully effeminate boys to straighten them out.

Still, there is at least this silver lining:

Currie said he has had five job interviews, including for positions in the Durham Public Schools, and that all have been positive. “It’s nice to be told by administrators that my actions were correct,” he said.

Sounds to us like Efland has lost a hell of a teacher, and one of five lucky districts is about to gain one.

[News & Observer / HuffPo / Charlotte Observer / Queerty]

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  • Rocky

    Efland Cheeks. Still mostly known for her big booty in the porn world.

  • Nounverb911

    “Teachers must fill out a form for each bullying incident.”
    Does that include each time the district bullies the teachers too, also?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      There’s no problem that can’t be hidden by making anyone who wants to complain about it do a shit ton of paperwork on top of all the other stuff they don’t have time to do anyway.

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      Dog forbid a teacher should gently intervene and make the problem go away after informal consultation with colleagues.

  • Nounverb911

    What is the Ef in Efland short for?

    • BadKitty904

      “Effluent”, apparently…

    • 01Jack

      I kept reading it as “Elfland.”
      I like Elfland better. Cute little elves.

      • Amy!

        I always mispronounce it that way. The locals always get annoyed and correct me. I do not know why it irritates them so much. Well, possibly because I ask them if they’re bright elves or dark elves, but who could that offend?

        Dwarves, maybe. I bet that’s it. They’re all secretly dwarves, and hate being mistaken for elves.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Ef-billies.

  • BadKitty904

    Efland? Goodhand? You’re making this up, Dok!

    • Amy!

      And the Barefoot family has a long history, nearby (that’s more Chapel Hill than Efland, but same county).

  • Rocky

    Smiting, talking snake, torture, misogyny, selling children into slaves.

    Can read that to children. But two dudes in love…Holy fire and eye-carving for All!!!11!!!

    • Logic of Color

      I may have to create additional accounts to upfist this more.

  • elviouslyqueer

    A majority of the Review Committee determined that:

    1. The book did not violate the constitutional or other legal rights of the complaining parent or student.

    2. It was “not appropriate to accommodate the complainant’s objections.” In particular, the committee concluded that the fractured fairy tale form of the book and its diverse subject matter met third-grade curriculum objectives.

    BOOM. Eat it, you whinging motherfuckers.

    • Vecciojohn

      But, but, but — buttsechs!!

      • Msgr_Moment

        Also, too, Effing Land of ButtCheeks.

  • VandeGraf

    I suspect the teacher and the administrator knew they were playing with fire. They should not have been working social politics with third graders, no matter the ultimate rectitude of their views. They knew what they were up against. This only makes the effort more difficult and reinforces anti-gay sentiment. These two were bound to be losers Their tactic was flawed and counter-productive.

  • Randy Riddle

    Keep in mind this is a state with a town called Climax and two intersecting streets called “Aycock” and “Lovett”.

    • FNMA

      Do you have to go through Efland to get to Climax? Does Goodhand know the way?

  • Msgr_Moment

    Richard III (in blue) has really let himself go.

    • I suppose if the children’s book was about Richard III practicing ‘open carry’ and gunning down his two nephews for “fearing for his life”, that would have been just peachy.

      • Msgr_Moment

        Stand your crown!

    • Suse

      Being buried under a parking lot probably didn’t help.

  • middleclassman1

    How dare he teach children too be tolerant of others even if they are a little different. Why can’t he just read them stories about two guns who get married?

    • Mary Sandoras

      Or teach them the fundamentals of Russian roulette/advanced statistics.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        That just means God loves you 5 out of 6 times.

        • Mary Sandoras

          That’s the xtian version/stats, obviously.

          • weejee

            The Efland xtians use automatics.

          • Mary Sandoras

            That’s bibble college level statistics.

    • Blank Ron

      But no same-calibre marriages!

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    It gets better… when you get out of Efland.

    • OneYieldRegular

      “Ef-in’ run!”

  • NC doesn’t have the evil teachers’ union to worry about, so no support for him there, either, no sirree. Hope this turns out okay, but without a teachers’ union, teaching there is mighty precarious.

  • timpundit

    They still teach school in NC? Well, that is good news.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      It looks like they’re sort of phasing it out, though.

    • Dimitrios M.

      Have schools, yes. Allow teaching in them, no so much.

  • MrBlobfish

    FU, Efland

  • shastakoala

    Truly a grimm tale, but with prince charming optimism.

  • Treg Brown

    Man, I’m glad I went to elementary school in librul and damned California.
    #Teachersareeverydayheroes

  • Lady Bug

    No snark, he sounds like a great teacher. Hopefully he’ll find an even better job soon. I do feel sorry for his class though.

  • weejee

    Is there a proper salve to use if you get efland on your cheeks?

    • Mary Sandoras

      Neosporin

      • chicken thief

        Applied by Miss Goodhand.

        • Dimitrios M.

          She was formerly a James Bond villian, wasn’t she.

  • SK

    Common core sucks!

  • nightmoth

    Obama won N.C. in 2008 and the GOP went into overdrive getting the state back in the fold. They took over the legislature on the strength of a toadying-to-evangelicals anti-gay marriage amendment. They’ve refused salary raises for N.C. teachers and made it easier to fire them. They’ve supported real estate developers who are still building vacation homes on the rapidly disappearing Cape Hatteras beaches. I’m so ashamed of my home state. We used to call it the “GOOD Carolina” but no more.

    • nmmagyar

      The fucked up thing is that North Carolina is still the good Carolina.

      • nightmoth

        Ha! Sad but true.
        N.C. still has more hip educated urban areas going for it than S.C.

    • jmk

      Not to mention the delightful campaign to declare a state religion (no prizes for guessing which one), and the recall drive to remove an open atheist from the Asheville city council on the grounds that it is still illegal under the state constitution for an atheist to hold public office.

      US Constitution? What’s that?

      • nightmoth

        Damn—I’ve been thinking about retiring to Asheville—maybe not as cool as it claims to be?

        • Amy!

          Asheville’s pretty wonderful (and … mountains! *sigh*). It’s got a lot of good people, and the local traditionalists are hillbillies rather than rednecks (I think this is a good thing, but tastes differ). I think I’d move there, except I built a house in the Piedmont and I don’t wanna deal with that shit ever again. There are outbreaks of nonsense there, both from the conservatives (a largish minority) and from the new-age crazies (also a largish minority). This sounds like one of the conservative outbreaks (and it will get swatted down, because the NC law (constitution, in fact) that they’re using is (US) unconstitutional (and it could be, at least in part, false-flagging by rational folks to take down the NC state constitution’s illegal provision)).

          • nightmoth

            very interesting–thx!

        • jmk

          Well, they did elect an open atheist to the city council to begin with, which should probably count for something. From what I understand, it was a disgruntled minority in Asheville who started the recall petition, and then Nosy Parkers from all over the state signed it.

  • sundaytrucker

    Silly teacher, books are for burning not reading.

  • goonemeritus

    Aren’t most kings gay?

    • chicken thief

      Those would be queens.

    • bobbert

      Well, there is Gay Butler.

  • JohnR

    As therapy for the traumatized gay bullying students they will stone the little gay acting one during recess tomorrow, in cheezus name amen. I just made that up, hope no one gets any ideas.

  • PDX Realness

    Btw, I remember from reading about this earlier that the school board is now going to debate banning the book from their schools. I bet that will be a calm and logical school board meeting.

    • Spotts1701

      Has the betting window opened on the number of people who’ll be ejected for “disrupting” the meeting (re: trying to inject reason into the bibble-thumping)?

      • Swampgas_Man

        Apparently there’s one good citizen who’ll be ejected for the other side.

  • SadDemInTex

    Thanks Carolinas…Texass thanks you

  • Spotts1701

    The teacher was expect to list every book they planned to read to the students? How is that even realistic – you’d be essentially locking your curriculum in on Day 1 and can’t adjust based on how fast the kids are learning or if something comes up that would allow a change to respond to events.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      I woulda just circulated a list that said “Green eggs and Ham” on it 400 times.
      Then read what I wanted to.
      …Of course, I know a lot of ways to get fired.

  • Joshua Norton

    Teachers must give parents a list of all the books they plan to read in class.

  • Lady Bug

    personally, I think the prince on the right could do so much better than the prince on the left.

    And WAIT, is that a WOMAN officiating the ceremony?!

    Heaven to Betsy, Someone grab me a fainting couch and my Barbara Bush pearls.

  • Bill Slider

    Efland-Cheeks, aka We wear our panyhose in a very tight knot as we proudly wear our Faggot Police badges as we promote Hate, Intolerance, and White Jesus.

  • BearGHAZI

    Works both ways. Catch a teacher with a Bible? WHAM! FEMA camp.

  • chicken thief

    The reaction of the wingnuts aside, this is a pretty happy story: teacher dealt with issue, issue resolved, he looks to move up in the world. Not bad, not bad….

    • bobbert

      Leaving one former assistant principal hanging.

      • finette

        I’ve been covering this story for another site–I don’t think she’ll have a problem finding something else either. But I certainly feel for the kids in the district who will no longer benefit from their inclusive model.

  • say wha

    And yet no one is concerned that the school’s literacy specialist can’t spell?

  • Angry_Cop

    Population 734. Must be an awesome place to move away from.

    • Hardly Ideal

      I heard a Patton Oswalt sketch about how being born somewhere like that is actually a blessing in disguise. You have been handed a test, and you pass when you say “I’m LEAVING before I kill everyone around me and then myself,” and move away to become awesome. But you fail when you go “I can get a job at the Citgo and get free gas!”

    • alnnc

      Just a few miles from Chapel Hill, home of the University of North Carolina, known by the right wingers as a hot bed of communist and liberal thought since the 1950’s. Strange how different universes exist side by side.

  • Angry_Cop

    Currie says he was also given two new rules for his classes:
    1. Teachers must give parents a list of all the books they plan to read in class. Currie estimated that during a 180-day school year, he may read 500 books.
    2. Teachers must fill out a form for each bullying incident.

    My wife is a teacher here in the great state of California. Number one has been SOP here forever. Number two ought to be SOP everyone in the nation. Catch that crap in elementary school and you won’t have high school kids hanging themselves later.

    • unclemike

      Different districts have different rules. I’ve taught in 4 different CA districts and never had to submit a list of possible books to parents.

      If I did, I’d probably do it in 8pt font, listing a couple thousand titles.

      • MrCanoehead

        This. Exactly what I was thinking.

    • toomanyrappers

      You can’t stop bulling when the entire community (both young and old) is full of assholes.. for Jesus and stuff.

    • finette

      Really, each bullying incident? I was bullied by a group of boys all through middle school and it consisted mostly of calling me “moron” (a bad pun on my real name) every time any of them saw me, multiple times per day. It would have been downright impossible for teachers to document every incident, and a pointless undue burden to make them try.

      In this case, Currie found a way to effectively STOP the bullying, but the district is hiding behind the “each incident must be reported” rule to blame him for parents not having advance notice that he was going to read King & King to the class.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Why is the little prince bringing flaming asparagus to a wedding?

    Because it’s flaming, duh.

    • Catstro

      Don’t cast aspersions on his asparagus!

  • Suse

    Why don’t these intolerant RWNJs just homeschool their little special snowflakes and bullies and let the other kids learn from caring and compassionate teachers like Mr. Currie? This is just sickening.

    • nightmoth

      I said the same thing to a science teacher in north Georgia when he told me he was not allowed to mention “evolution” because it went against community standards. A SCIENCE teacher, ya’ll!

      • Suse

        Why do they have a science teacher? No such a thing as science.

      • YayConspiracy

        By not mentioning evolution it’ll just go away.

        • Blank Ron

          For those particular parents it probably did, more than a few generations ago.

  • Suse

    Isn’t that Ruth Bader Ginsberg officiating?

    • Me not sure

      Good eyes!

    • anniegetyerfun

      That was my first thought, too!
      I almost bought this book for my kids, but all the reviews said that the pictures seriously sucked. Also, I keep trying to find books in which same sex relationships are treated as a matter-of-fact, so that my kids grow up not thinking that it’s anything remarkable. Hard to find.

      • Blank Ron

        When mine were growing up they were non-existant anywhere I could look, so instead we just brought them along when we spent time with our many gay friends. For them, it WASN’T remarkable.

  • Callyson

    Here’s hoping Omar Currie gets a nice pay hike along with that new position.

    • alnnc

      Maybe a little. Most teacher pay in NC comes from the state, but most local district give various supplements of a few percent. After average teacher pay dropped to 46th in the country, they finally gave some raises last year. But most of that went to new teachers – seems we were losing teachers and couldn’t replace them. But the state decided it was easier and cheaper to concentrate on getting inexperienced new teachers than worry about keeping the ones with years of experience.

      • unclejeems

        Oh, that’s right. You Tarheels now have a Republican governor and a Republican legislature and have officially joined Mississippi in the race to the bottom. Congratulations.

    • Catstro

      Maybe, maybe not. I have a ton of friends in the DPS, and I don’t think their pay situations really improved this year. Looks like DPS will be more than happy to hire him, though. All the LOLs at the district losing a teacher over this (only ok LOLing because he’s gonna land on his feet). NCs teacher retention situation is terrible right now, what a stupid reason to let someone go.

  • celtic_buddha

    Why ain’t these parents home skewling like good god-afearin’ folks? Public schools are the devil’s playground.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Seriously, just read a Calvin Thomas editorial that DEMANDED that all REAL Christians withdraw their children and home-school, to fight not only the homodemon but the modern-day transdemons. Looks like trans rights is gonna be the gay rights of the teens and ’20’s.

  • YayConspiracy

    is the poor bullied boy still in that class? What a horrible thought.

    • Suse

      I hope he has supportive parents.

    • doktorzoom

      School year’s over, so the whole bunch will be shuffled off to a different teacher for fourth grade, just as they would have if Mr. Currie had stayed.

      • Blank Ron

        Unfortunately, the bullies will be shuffling off with him.

  • Suse

    We need to get busy sinning it up so the rapture will happen right quick. It will be so nice when all of these idiots are off the planet.

    • Meccalopolis

      win-win!

  • Swampgas_Man

    Boy, if Mr. Rogers were alive today. . . .

    • Blank Ron

      You get the shovels, I’ll warm up the generator.

  • marxalot

    Upfists for tackling a Teachable Moment in exactly the right way. A bag of rat dicks (lightly salted, we’re sure there’s a blood pressure problem out NC way) to thin skinned gay panic types.

    • MrCanoehead

      And not the name brand kind, either.

  • OneYieldRegular

    It may have been Efland before, but now it’s totally F’edland.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Please explain to me why the crazy parents are the ones who get their way? Is this a lowest common denominator thing? Not that anyone is going to know what that is if we keep getting rid of teachers.

    • JAWs

      Because too many people who should know better have been indoctrinated to confuse civic service with customer service. So being dedicated to helping citizens improve their way of living by say, educating and nourishing developing minds, our society is suppose to focus on and keeping consumers placated enough to become punctual drone-like spenders. Therefore we must appeal to appeal to any wants (needs schmeeds, amirite?) that coincide with that goal and appease the angry consumer back into thier sheep-like state. After all “the customer is always right” right?

      • Blank Ron

        Beautifully put. If you don’t mind, I am gonna steal and promulgate this wherever I can get it to fit.

  • Me not sure

    Good luck, Mr. Curry. Hope you find an even better position over the summer.

  • toomanyrappers

    Gee, those people’s kids are little fucking assholes that bully and “fag” shame others at school?

    Shocking.

    They are stupid little shits and future GOP voters, you know. :)

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “Who would Jesus hate?” is a question they actually try to answer.

    • Antimassacree

      Perhaps one day they will figure out that they are this era’s Pharisees. Jesus didn’t much care for them and their petty and public religiosity one bit.

  • Dylan Black

    As someone who makes the Durham to Winston-Salem run with some regularity, I can tell you Efland (which is about 20 miles from durham) is such a distinguished community that their single I-40 exit lacks any type of gas station or convenience store. Having had to stop on that exit twice over the last decade for various car-related issues, I can confirm that any Deliverance-style imaginings you may have about the look of the place are more or less accurate.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Wow. “Efland-Cheeks Elementary School”.

    You don’t even have to come up with up a joke here.

  • Ryan Denniston

    As a denzien of Durham, I suspect he would be welcome to teach here, so good for our kids.

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