What Are Dumb Duggars Trying To Hide Now?

If your family was once famous for making babies all day long, every day, for Jesus, but now it's known as that sick reality TV star family that covered up the oldest son's repeated sexual molestation of his kid sisters, you know what you should definitely NOT do? You should definitely NOT refuse to cooperate with a fresh new investigation into your family. But apparently the Duggar Homeschool Textbook of Homeschooling doesn't cover that.

According to "In Touch Weekly," which first broke the story about Josh Duggar molesting five girls when he was a teenager, the Arkansas Department of Human Services is looking into a recent allegation regarding a minor in the Duggar household:

A representative from the Washington County DHS called 911 on May 27 at around 11 a.m. asking for police assistance when DHS was not allowed to see the minor they were concerned about. [...]

After identifying himself as a Washington Country DHS employee and stating the Duggar family address, the caller tells the 911 operator, “We have an investigation and I guess they’re not being cooperative. We have to see the child to make sure the child is all right. So we just need police assistance.”

Is that just about the dumbest fucking thing you have ever read, besides all the other dumb fucking things you have already read about this dumb fucking family? Let's just pretend for a moment to give Ma and Pa Duggar the benefit of the doubt, even though they've proven they don't deserve it. Maybe they're all living clean and pedophilia-free these days, and telling the boys and girls they can't play hide-and-seek really keeps all of them safe. Maybe there's nothing to see here, and the investigation was prompted by some jerk prank calling the state to lodge a bogus complaint about someone doing Bad Stuff to a minor at the Duggar home. You know, again.Afterthe family has already been exposed,afterJosh has already admitted he molested some kids -- or as the family and Fox News likes to call it, some "mild inappropriate touching." And that prank-calling jerk is a real jerk and shouldn't do that, Jesus Christ. BUT. BUT! BUT!!!

Given that the family hasadmittedto its history of repeated sexual abuse and endangerment of several children, refusing to cooperate with an investigation is the last thing in the world they should be doing. And yeah, it sure sucks that someone would cause trouble for them like that, but the state is required to follow up even on anonymous tips, just to make sure, becausewe're talking about children here.(We're also talking about Arkansas, which is a terrible place for children and, up until a couple months ago, allowed adoptive parents, like Arkansas state Rep. Justin Harris, to "rehome" kids they didn't want any more, with any old person willing to take them, and they maybe do some rape to one of them, oh well. Which is a whole OTHER story we've already covered extensively, with our words and vomit.)

None of the Duggars who've appeared on Fox in the last week -- Jim Bob and Michelle and then Jill and Jessa, two of the sisters Josh molested -- mentioned this new investigation. Can't imagine why. (Just kidding, we totally can. The Duggars really REALLY want that TLC spinoff, please.)

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Maybe there is nothing to whatever the allegations are -- we don't know because those records are not public -- but that seems like a mighty fine reason to cooperate instead of refusing to cooperate, wouldn't you think? Because to a skeptic, thiscouldlook like the Duggars are trying to hide something. Again. And yeah yeah, we know, they are all real hurt that the media is invading their privacy like this, even though they've happily invited the media to invade their privacy since their show started in 2008, for money.

If some jerk is making things up about the Duggars, that's terrible and wrong. DON'T DO THAT. There's no need. What they've admitted to is plenty bad and gross already, and despite their best efforts to rehabilitate themselves, we're hoping they'll fade into obscurity soon enough.

But the Duggars could have spared themselves all this humiliation and unwanted attention and investigation into their lives if they hadn't decided,afterhaving lived through this horrible traumatic tragedy of abuse and neglect, to expose themselves and their children -- including the molested ones -- for fortune and fame in the first place.

[ In Touch Weekly ]