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Baby did a bad bad thing.

Try to contain all your surprise, but Jeb Bush has been A Idiot for a LONG TIME. We know about his recent string of fuckups — “Knowing what we know of knowing about Iraq and stuff and things, it was not a mistake to invade Iraq, except totally was, QED!” — but today we present to you a Jeb Bush fuckup from 20 years ago, in his 1995 book Profiles In Character. How do we get unwed pregnant ladies and welfare queens and other miscreants to stop being all pregnant and moochy? By bringing back public shaming, of course! Here is your pull quote from the book:

One of the reasons more young women are giving birth out of wedlock and more young men are walking away from their paternal obligations is that there is no longer a stigma attached to this behavior, no reason to feel shame. Many of these young women and young men look around and see their friends engaged in the same irresponsible conduct. Their parents and neighbors have become ineffective at attaching some sense of ridicule to this behavior. There was a time when neighbors and communities would frown on out of wedlock births and when public condemnation was enough of a stimulus for one to be careful.

Back in the olden-timey days, when Jeb Bush had to walk uphill both ways in the snow to pull his big brother’s car out of whatever ditch he drunk drove it into, they had STANDARDS. Real ladies held aspirin between their knees to protect their downstairs holes from dick invasions, and if some bitch got knocked up by some sumbitch, everybody pointed and laughed at the lady for letting a gentleman do sex to her, like Jesus intended. Then the family would disappear the lady so she could go birth her shame-baby away from polite society. The men what impregnated the sluts? There doesn’t appear to be a historical pattern of shaming for them, dunno why.

But now these days everybody’s just running around getting teenaged and pregnant, especially in red states like Mississippi, where if they do sex ed AT ALL, they inevitably end up teaching the kids about how girls who let dudes have sex with them end up all worn out and used, like a dirty, sticky box of half-eaten chocolates. Or in this one Texas school district, where they teach abstinence so good that 1 in 15 of their high school kids has the chlamydia kind of crotch crickets. So maybe this whole “shame the dirty ladies for being dirty ladies” approach Bush is advocating isn’t the MOST effective thing out there.

Of course, Bush wasn’t done being weird and gross and bad:

Bush points to Nathaniel Hawthorne’s 1850 novel The Scarlet Letter, in which the main character is forced to wear a large red “A” for “adulterer” on her clothes to punish her for having an extramarital affair that produced a child, as an early model for his worldview. “Infamous shotgun weddings and Nathaniel Hawthorne’s Scarlet Letter are reminders that public condemnation of irresponsible sexual behavior has strong historical roots,” Bush wrote.

Yeah, those were the days. According to HuffPo, Bush’s idea of shaming and ridiculing people for their bad behavior also extended to the welfare queens and the juvenile delinquents, who ought to, according to the book, be dressed “in frilly pink jumpsuits and [sweeping] the streets of their own neighborhoods!” Yeah, that’ll work! When everybody’s done slut-shaming the unwed pregnant ladies, they can point and laugh at the criming kids in the gay outfits.

Of course, in 2001, Bush had a chance as Florida’s governor to put some of these ideas into practice, when he didn’t veto a “Scarlet Letter” bill, which said that pregnant single ladies whose men had not put a ring on it had to consent to having a history of all their various sexy times published in the newspaper, if they wanted to give their babbies up for adoption. To his credit, he also signed the bill to repeal the very bad law, after the courts said it was somehow unconstitutional to require ladies to write up their History Of Fucks and run it in the paper next to the Jumble.

This is all just really good stuff, to learn about Jeb Bush. It’s amazing, but he may actually prove to be the dumbest, weirdest Bush of all, which is QUITE a feat.

[Huffington Post]

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  • maman

    Men suffered a stigma for walking away from their responsibilities. Those WERE the “good old” days

    • jesuswasablack

      Does he mean Men that walk away from the mess they create, say destroying the entire fucking middle east, those kind of messes?

      • jmk

        Of course not. That kind of thing could happen to anyone…and knowing what we know now then but now if we knew it now…wait…what? Squirrel!!!

  • lucidamente

    Let me guess, Jeb was watching Murphy Brown re-runs with Dan Quayle when he wrote that.

  • God, times like these I wish the April Fool’s Joke some blog did about Barbara Bush being the secret love child of Aleister Crowley was true.

  • Kat Anyperson

    Jeb… sunshine… Mccarthyism is dead. Most of the American public has learned that policing each other’s life choices leads to animosity, violence and the suppression of minorities.

    I sincerely hope Hillary supporters put some of this more sexist, absurd quotes to good use during The Shrub III’s run for office.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    Ha ha, what does he want? A scarlet letter?

    (reads second half of article)

    Oh.

    • FauxAntocles

      Also, too, wooden stocks with rotten fruit on hand.

  • Angry_Cop

    I do agree there’s a paucity of shame in today’s society. For example, back in the day, a politician would be ASHAMED of rigging an election, instead of bragging about doing it. Rich people were ASHAMED if people found out just how rich they were, and took pains to avoid that.

    I can think of lots of examples, actually, where a healthy dose of shame would do no end of good in today’s society.

    This is not one of them.

    • Toomush_Infer

      I didn’t realize this discussion was about Denny Hastert, but…ok….

  • goonemeritus

    I blame all the young men who are willing to lower their standards and consort with fallen women. When I was single I was very careful to only sleep with the most pious and virtuous girls.

    • mtn_philosoph

      You knew that they were pious and virtuous because half the boys in your class swore to it.

  • Tom Wilder

    He does realize that Hawthorn’s book is a pointed
    condemnation of the type of public shaming he supports? Oh, wait a minute it’s Jeb “Bush” – so sorry, I forgot.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Reading is HARD!

      • Bush then went on to explain how sinners are like flies, and we need the Lord to save us from the righteous bugzapper of Hell, as described in the 1954 novel by William Golding.

    • Michael Smith

      lol I know. Pretty bad. Next he will justify NSA spying by citing 1984.

      • Michael Smith

        “And that was 29 years ago!”

        • arglebargle

          You do the math. Oh wait…

    • Gleem-McShinez

      “Knowing what we know now about the actual content of books compared with the content of what my supporters know, I still would have mischaracterized that novel.”

  • maman

    Did Dingbat Bush realize that the slut shaming did not work in the Scarlet Letter? or did he just read W’s Cliff Notes?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Ouch, beat me to it by seconds!

    • FauxAntocles

      It’s ok, his followers can’t read either.

  • lucidamente

    This wouldn’t have anything to do with his parents getting married six months before Dubya was born, would it?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Ooh..

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I checked the ol’ Wikipedia. George and Bar were married January 6, 1945, and W was born July 7, 1946, so, clearly, George HW didn’t want to fuck Bar until he absolutely had to.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    This kind of thing is such standard Republican social-mores boilerplate that it barely needs mentioning. Except for that scarlet-letter bill/law sign & repeal; that’s kinda weird that he didn’t notice how weird that was until the courts pointed it out to him.

    • mtn_philosoph

      I am pretty sure that the very same complaints have been voiced by sanctimonious blowhards for centuries, if not millennia. If you have absolutely nothing of substance to say, a good fall-back strategy is to tut-tut about the state of morality these days.

      O tempora! O mores!

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Jeb’s misreading of “The Scarlet Letter” is on a level with Ted Cruz’s oblivious interpretation of “Green Eggs and Ham.” If you’re not going to actually read “The Scarlet Letter,” at least take a glance at the Cliff’s Notes.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Didn’t read the book, but I assume after the public shaming, the woman went on to reform herself and live a godly life and there were never any more pregnancies out of wedlock and they all lived happily ever after?

      • FauxAntocles

        Pretty much, but the real point is true love crushed by over-pious assholes.
        Oh, and the guy died just when it looked like they might be able to run away together.

      • MrBlobfish

        Hester Prynne got her own radio show and a weekly column at WND.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I can’t wait to see Jeb’s interpretation of Moby Dick.

      • Amy!

        There’s a whole chapter on whiteness.

        It’s chapter …

        … 42!

        Not that that’s meaningful, in this life, or the universe, or anything. No.

        • Biff52

          And William Jefferson Clinton was the 42nd US Preznit. Makes sense to me!

  • Mehmeisterjr

    On the Wonkette Home Page, that poster comes out as “Unwed Moth,” which sounds like a classic Roger Corman sci-fi picture.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      That’s the one where Godzilla and Rodan fight on the Jerry Springer Show.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        “Her heart took wing and she was drawn to him like a moth to the flame! (Because she was a moth, duh!)”

        • Anarchy Pony

          The light was on.

          • bobbert

            Nice shaggy moth joke.

    • Lizzietish81

      Had to check, no Moth movies, but there is this…

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5zAPCwCh40

      • Mehmeisterjr

        So they did a movie about Phyllis Schlafly! Who knew?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        How could you miss The Mothman Prophecies?

        • Lizzietish81

          That wasn’t Corman

  • mrFawkes

    The Bush boys have always confused character with being a character.

  • Angry_Cop

    Richard M. Nixon: “”Oh, he’s okay, he can do his job. He’s just not very interesting. Now Barbara Bush, she’s interesting. She knows how to hate.”

    Says a man who knows hate. If you were curious where the rage in the family comes from.

  • Toomush_Infer

    He’s just fundiraising…

  • Michael Smith

    Wait a minute, why would they have to be in frilly pink jumpsuits?

    • tomamitai

      It’s his masturbation fantasy, he can imagine them dressed any way he wants to.

    • jmk

      Because frilly and pink = unmanly. It’s not enough to punish bad behavior – you have to belittle and humiliate people as a social control mechanism, to teach them their place …because the 1950s look like the perfect era to rich, straight, white, Christian men in America, whose place is, oddly enough, at the top of the pyramid.

      • Michael Smith

        I don’t know if you watch Game of Thrones, but Tyrion had a line this week that pretty much sums up our current political moment:

        “It’s easy to confuse “what is” with “what ought to be.” Especially when “what is” has worked in your favor.”

        • jmk

          I’ve read the books – tore through them like a hot knife through butter – but I made the choice not to watch the series to give my own imagination free reign…the only exceptions being the Wall (I couldn’t imagine the size) and Sean Bean.

  • Lizzietish81

    Kids should be made to wear P’s on their shirts to show they’re Permanently Punished.

  • Guest

    So, Jeb, please call out the first unwed mother/whore, Bristol Palin.

  • Lizzietish81

    Actually what usually happened was the family would move to a new neighborhood with their teenage daughter and infant son.

    Ask Bobby Darrin, or Jack Nickleson.

  • Bill Slider

    Ah yes, Jeb is the smartest Bush of all, just like someone, likely his mother, once said. Hell, these Bush boys ate right up there with the Duggars, Ma and Pa Kettle, and those two Blue Ridge Mountain families that have been a fighten for a couple hundred years, the Hatfield’s and the McCoys. There is a reason they hid that boy down in Florida all these years. It may be time for the Repubs to turn to Daniel Quayle to take on Hillary. More popcorn, please.

    • Querolous

      5X5=14 (if you know this you are old like me)

      • Bill Slider

        I’m likely as old as you, if not older, since those ahead of me are in nursing homes or dead. However, I don’t recall 5 x 5 equallying 14. Yes, those mentioned by me above are all of the 5×5 equally 14 variety.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …Great idea Jeb, can we start with BRISTOL PALIN?!

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Or Josh Duggar?

      • Biff52

        Nah man, don’t hate the playah, hate the game!

    • OneYieldRegular

      Just tell her the scarlet “A” stands for “Abstinence.”

  • elviouslyqueer

    Barbara, you might want to re-think that whole “smart one” comment.

    • Lizzietish81

      Sad thing is, he probably is

      • arglebargle

        The only thing that scares me more than a dumb Bush is a semi-smrt one. Cheney (R-7th ring of hell) is the exception that proves the rule.

      • Anarchy Pony

        It’s a pretty low bar.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    If we’re all for public shaming now, could we get a bank to admit wrongdoing just once?

    • AIO_7

      Or a cop.

  • Michael Smith

    In Jeb’s defense, you used to be able to pander to your idiotic base without having non-idiots read the stuff you said.

  • Lot_49

    Fuck it, why even have elections and primaries’n’shit? Make this guy king for life, Bush the XLV or whatever, by acclimation NOW.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      No way I’m ever getting acclimated to another Bush in the White House.

  • memzilla

    ….look around and see their friends engaged in the same irresponsible conduct. Their parents and neighbors have become ineffective at attaching some sense of ridicule to this behavior.

    300 million Americans and your mom on Line One for you, Jeb Jeb Binks.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …why stop there, why not just go full SHARIA and lash them in the public square?!?!

    • Hardly Ideal

      Hey, he’s already relying on books like The Scarlet Letter. May as well draw inspiration from Starship Troopers while he’s at it.

  • Malmborg Implano

    WHAT an ASS.

  • Randy Riddle

    Well, Babs Bush did parade around a fetus in a jar in front of these kids. It’s no wonder they’re touched in the head.

    • fawkedifiknow

      I can tell you’re not from Dixie. Down there, the word is “tetched.” And, they don’t bother saying “in the head.” It’s almost redundant.

      • ‘Tetched’ is for your great aunt who talks back to Billy Graham and soap operas on the TV and drinks RC Cola all day.

        Them Bush Boys is what we’d call “ain’t right (in the head)”, which loosely translates to criminally insane.

        • bozilingus

          I thought that was “tain’t right”.

          • Actually, ’tain’t right’ refers to something that is not generally sociably acceptable; ex. “It tain’t right the way them Duggar gals keep tempting poor lil’ Josh! Everybody knows he ain’t right.”

  • diogenez

    The Scarlet Letter was a cautionary work and not a blueprint, Jeb.

    I would much rather see politicians be forced to wear Dunce Caps.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      He also thinks The Crucible had some useful tips from our forebears.

      • Dee Andee

        And “The Prince” by Machiavelli.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Hey, The Prince does have very useful tips!

    • MrBlobfish

      It was was a delightful romantic comedy

    • MrBlobfish

      It was was a delightful romantic comedy

  • dslindc

    Well I do know that I’m solidly for the public shaming of stupid public officials and stupid candidates for public office.

  • bumfug

    You know how old that movie at the top is? Robert Vaughn played “The Fetus”.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      That was some months after his first-ever role as “The Blastocyst from U.N.C.L.E.”

      • Zyxomma

        Her UNCLE knocked her up? Gross. Ewww.

  • Lizzietish81

    Once again Conservatives point to a litarary work and completely miss the point. Remember all the “Obama is the Manchurian Candidate” because they obviously hadn’t read the book or watched the movie, cause then they would know that it was the McCarthy like Republican who was the real Manchurian Candidate.

    • AIO_7

      They don’t care…….BENGHAZI !

    • Anarchy Pony

      And karl “ham” rove thought 1984 was a how to manual.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        All of them think that.

        They are the people Orwell was warning us about.

        • Reddishrabbit

          Wasn’t Orwell a die hard republican who loved the Tories? If you listen to the GOP, that’s what you’d think.
          Not yet 5? Sad…

          • Jared Garlock

            Orwell would read the comments here and be disgusted by the fall of the English language which, in his opinion, would mean the subsequent demise of our politics.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Ham.

      • Jared Garlock

        Rove is so 2007.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, you’ve got Rafael Cruz not getting the point of Green Eggs and Ham. It’s the perfection of derp that they’re working on.

    • OneYieldRegular

      “Good fences make good neighbors!”

      • Come here a minute

        Something there is that doesn’t love a wall.

        Frost.

  • VandeGraf

    Sounds as if Jeb is going to go into the stocks and pillory business.

  • jesuswasablack

    “dumbest, weirdest Bush of all”
    Wasn’t one of them in a jar, even dumber than that?

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      JarJar bush was 100000000 times smarter.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The were all in a Bar. That’s pretty weird in and of itself.

  • SK

    Is he gonna wait to see if Bristol tricks Dakota into marrying her, or will he start shaming her immediately?

    The suspense is killing me!

  • Toomush_Infer

    And that’s why his mom called him her “special snowflake”…

  • Villago Delenda Est

    I have a better idea.

    Let’s give the Bush Crime Family what they deserve. Tumbrel rides.

  • Hardly Ideal

    Okay, crackpots. Tell me again how there is no War on Women being perpetuated by the party of Small Government.

    Actually, don’t. Don’t tell me about it, and I might be kind enough to not slap you with a day-old tuna.

    • A Bashful Nobody

      MMMMMMMMMM………………..Tuna!

  • Oblios_Cap

    He really isn’t the “smart Bush”. Neil has been staying out of sight and making tons o’ cash from his forays into “educational testing”. And he likes him some hookers.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Neil just didn’t understand why a hooker showed up at his hotel door in Bangkok.

      Seriously!

      • jmk

        Hey! He’s a friendly guy…talks to a lot of people!

        Some of them offer him – unsolicited! – seats on their S&L boards of directors….

        Some of them advise him – unsolicited! – to make three stock trades on the exact day those trades make him 800K…

        And some of them show up – unsolicited! – at his hotel door in Bangkok!

    • Rick Hill

      I think he got the smart Bush nickname because he went to the effort of beating up the smart kids to have them do his homework.

    • Toomush_Infer

      We just didn’t believe anybody could be stupider than George….

    • Incoming Ham

      Try a meeting with him sometime…

    • Incoming Ham

      Try a meeting with him sometime…

  • chicken thief

    ‘Scuse me if someone pointed this out before (I did scan, but I scanned, not thoroughly read each post of the non-existent comments) but there is a grievous error in the article:

    “…knocked up by some sumbitch.”

    Uh, hum, we all know that’s just boys being boys and if the little slut girl wasn’t wearing that [dress, top, whatevz] then none of this would have happened.

    • Thaumaturgist

      The blanket. Don’t forget the blanket. The blanket that got Josh in trouble.

  • Rick Hill

    *sigh* Ok, I guess it’s my turn this hour. (clears throat)
    “Fuck these people, Fuck them and leave them in a desert for the sun to bleach their bones”

    Damn this is tedious.

  • willi0000000

    all the tenacity of a leg-hold trap . . . and all its charm.

    [ just ask Michael Schiavo ]

  • Reddishrabbit

    I wonder if you could have just listed God as the father. He has had at least one kid out of wedlock after all.

  • MrBlobfish

    Pining for the 1640’s? Is it any wonder the Puritans were persecuted? They were a bunch of assholes.

    • TheBidenator

      Persecuted and then England at the first chance told them to GTFO to ‘Murica. My favorite part of that period is the French even though they wanted to get rid of them refused to inflict the Calvanists onto the New World. Maybe we should have thought about that before letting settlers move to Texas and ‘Zona…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The Puritans problem wasn’t persecution. It was that they were not doing the persecuting. The Dutch took them in and then, after being exposed to them for a period, said GTFO. So they crossed the pond and inflicted their assholishness on the New World, and they proceeded to persecute to their hearts’ content.

  • Alex Grey
  • Sadly, there’s never been a stigma against being a gossiping, judgmental busybody.

  • there is no longer a stigma attached to this behavior, no reason to feel shame.

    This is coming from a Bush, of all people.

  • middleclassman1

    I was just thinking about why our representative have no qualms about taking money in exchange for favors while screwing everyone else now I have my answer. There is no longer a stigma attached to it , It’s now a race to see who can get the most, It’s just SOP.

  • laineypc

    I just think it’s interesting how the lady in the picture who is all distressed and ashamed managed to pull it together enough to set her hair in her ’50s rollers, probably sat under the hair dryer for an hour, styled it with a teasing comb, put on her slutty tight blue party dress and pumps and I imagine is now smudging her carefully applied make up with her shame tears.

    • OneDemin EOr

      That was the 50s. The Beav’s mom used to vacuum wearing pearls!

  • LA Julian

    So I take it his reading skills are what pushed his mother to campaign for increased literacy? Since he took The Scarlet Letter as a polemic IN FAVOUR OF SLUT-SHAMING instead of a diatribe against societal hypocrisy and the sexist double standard?

    • OneDemin EOr

      Actually, Poor Barbara had to work with Dummy Double-Yoo every single frickin day…just to get him to 6th grade proficiency. Which enabled W to pass high school. Jeb must have looked brilliant.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Say – you know what else has “strong historical roots”?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I have a vague inkling. Something, something, “Triumph des Willens?”

      • Unforgotten

        That Le Pen lady from France (I use the ‘lady’ word a bit too freely…)?

    • Incoming Ham

      Hard to pick just one.

  • MikeyArmstrong

    That seventies weed must have been shit because, thanks to today’s more powerful strands, millenials aren’t as badly behaved as their parents.

    • Friday

      I think it was peak lead exposure, really.

    • steve damon

      No, they aren’t as badly behaved as their parents because they can’t get away with it. Cameras everywhere, images instantly uploaded to the world. Tracking apps. More to come. The children of millenials will be SO WELL BEHAVED.

  • Spurning Beer

    The flaw in Jeb’s argument is that at least some exemplars of naughtiness are incapable of being shamed. *cough* Palins *cough*

    • Unforgotten

      ‘Why are those tools barking at me? Do they think I care about their opinion? I am interested in their usefullness, nothing else… it’s a waste of my time to subject me to this! Unless… I can manage to profit from this somehow…’
      Sociopaths, psychopats and all the other ‘paths’… can’t care less about the shaming placed on them.

  • Callyson
    • Anarchy Pony

      In the case of my single mother, daddy didn’t run off, he died, so fuck you Jeb.

      • Unforgotten

        My parents never tied the knot. Legally speaking my mamma is a divorced woman (she met a guy before my dad), not his widow.
        On behalf of them both, FUCK OFF YOU *******************!!!!!!!!!

  • malsperanza

    I think we all know who to blame for Jeb and George: Poppa Bush may not have been World’s Greatest Dad, but it’s always really the mother’s fault, isn’t it?

    • steve damon

      “Son, tonight when I get home, I’m gonna kick your momma square in the ass.”
      The old man and Sheriff Buford T. Justice have something in common.

  • malsperanza

    I don’t suppose it ever occurred to Jeb that Hawthorne was writing a satire, did it?

    The Bush family seem to have all been born without the irony gene … which is a surprise, considering how incredibly good they are at generating the stuff.

  • steve damon

    Excellent media opportunity for a little comparative analysis. Instead of calling Bush out on these comments, I think it would be more fun and interesting to get the other GOP candidates take on this, with an eye toward the general election, of course. Like sending greyhounds out into a minefield. Which ones will get through?

    • KenRob

      It will be more like sending an extinct DoDo bird into a minefield. Greyhounds are too agile. =)

  • Karen Anderson

    I know the Rs want to put it in reverse back to the 1950’s, but seriously Jeb — The Scarlet Letter??? You really want to go back THAT far?

    Listen to your momma, Jebbers… We don’t need anymore Bushes in The White House.

  • glennisw

    Their parents and neighbors have become ineffective at attaching some sense of ridicule to this behavior. There was a time when neighbors and communities would frown on out of wedlock births and when public condemnation was enough of a stimulus for one to be careful.
    But now, they get to be Candies Foundation spokespeople!

  • Callyson

    BTW, Jebbers, you might ask your dad how well it worked out for the GOP presidential ticket when Dan “Potatoe” Quayle slut-shamed single mothers in 1992…

    • KenRob

      Yes, by slut-shaming a fictional TV character. LMAO. These Rethuglicans – treasure & praise stupidity & then put them in office.

  • bargal20
  • RJ (TO)

    Wonder how momma Sarah would feel about a good public shamin’ for Bristol?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Public shaming is only for the blahs and democrats. Good white Christian girls always have a really good reason.

      • sillyclucker

        Awww. ..let her wear the scarlet letter. It’ll be the only A she ever got.

        • gedjcj

          Since she’s technically guilty of fornication, the letter will be more appropriate.

  • Callyson

    Jesus fucking Christ, from the HuffPo link:

    As governor of Florida in 2001, Bush had the opportunity to test his theory on public shaming. He declined to veto a very controversial bill that required single mothers who did not know the identity of the father to publish their sexual histories in a newspaper before they could legally put their babies up for adoption. He later signed a repeal of the so-called “Scarlet Letter” law in 2003 after it was successfully challenged in court.

    Oh HELL fucking no…

    http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–QWjUvhnQ–/vvulmivavwvfzq8ev1ry.gif

    • Bill Slider

      It would have helped newspaper sales, I guess.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        The Jacksonville Times-Ledger is here? I’ll be in my bunk.

      • frambley1

        But it’s Florida, who would read the sordid detailsto them?

    • MikeyArmstrong

      Jebby is going to crush that lady vote.

      • Teto85

        That lady vote is going to crush Jebby.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    he may actually prove to be the dumbest, weirdest Bush of all

    I dunno, you never hear about Prescott, who I can only assume is so awful they couldn’t let him run for public office at all.

    • sneakiki

      George Sr.’s father? Oh, I’ve heard some stories about that one. Grave robbery of Native American graves, Nazi sympathizing, war profiteering…

    • Bill Slider

      Prescott was the would be one to run for President of all of them, but he found himself up to his eyeballs in the S & L scandal. I’ve long forgotten the details, but it ended any hopes of a political future.

      • EmmettGrogan

        S&L scandal was Neil, Jeb’s brother. Prescott was found guilty of Trading With the Enemy in WW2 but they changed the laws so he wouldn’t have to go to prison. Prescott was bag carrier for the 1% in America, who backed and funded the Nazis.10 yrs later, he won election as a senator. Only in America.

    • Incoming Ham

      Then there is Neil.

  • tinker12

    Wait a minute…weren’t the GOTPers just saying that even rape babies are a gift from god? Which is it?

  • buckguy

    How did he ever get promoted as “the smart one”?

    • frambley1

      By default!

  • TootsStansbury

    So they’ll put the lustful, sinful women in stocks or better yet; flog them through town mostly naked! While we upstanding Christian men pop boners! How very civilized.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    The Man From U.N.C.L.E. was in a movie called Unwed Mother? To the Netflix!

    • Incoming Ham

      From a “poverty row” studio even.

  • Biff52

    The stupid that keeps tumbling out of his mouth has me convinced that not only is he not the smrt one, but that Poppy and Bar are secretly cousins.

  • Teto85

    Jeb Bush will solve teen pregnancy by pointing and laughing at unwed moms, handing out Scarlet Letters. Yeah, that’ll fix it right there.

    Asshat.

  • shelwood

    Twitter had some fun with #JebBushInEnglishClass today.

  • ThePuckStopsHere

    Like I say, if numbnuts here had a lick of it, he’d do the sensible thing and change his last name. Trevino would be good. People love that guy and it’s a Messican name and everything. (If he does this, I demand many monies!!!)

  • BRONY KILLA

    MOTHERS; IF YOU BIRTH YOURSELVES A BRONY, TAKE THE ADVICE FROM THIS TRACK:

    https://youtu.be/7g63E0mRhsw

  • Everhope

    Being stupid, as we and the rest of the world have so sadly learned, not only is not a strike against a candidate, it has been lauded as genuine, a positive attribute by the elite who “know” that a little stupid with a dash of daring ignorance is just the thing for a Republican presidential candidate. Disingenuous stupid isn’t rooted out as long as it is convincing. Quite a destination at which we have so recently arrived.

    Bush Pere, an obviously intelligent man somehow with his equally intelligent wife sired two all American red, white and blue ignoramuses.

    This must be qualified: in this age of disdain for above average intelligent presidents-Clinton and Obama-we have witnessed the excoriated, lied about and dismissed Presidents by the minions of American Stupid.

    I suppose it’s possible that Bush the Greater and his intelligent Barbara sired two intelligent offspring who, having gauged the American Stupid zeitgeist, prompted George the Lesser to cynically adopt Stupid to win the presidency.

    There is every reason to believe this latest copy of the Bush manliness has already adopted Stupid as his guiding principle. He tours the unsuspecting country sprinkling fairy dust in the voters eyes thus making them believe that Stupid is just the ticket to the promised land.

    Next up: Drooling and Campaigning with the final Bush the Lesser.

    • Jared Garlock

      Yeah you’re right. It’s just the Republicans who are the problem. The 260-some Democrats in the legislative branch, the President and Vice President and the left leaning Supreme Court justices just sit quietly and only speak when wisdom is needed. The rest of the time, the Republicans just throw feces at each other until that glorious moment when the saviors are needed and thank goodness they are then able to come in to courageously use the citizens’ checkbook in order to rescue the country from it’s dire straits. Or, really, if they can just convince a handful of people that they’ve done something, when in reality, not a single person, democrat or republican, has accomplished anything whatsoever well sir it’s been a damn good day at the office.

      • Everhope

        Well, Jared, you’ve hit the proverbial nail on it’s proverbial head.

        It’s as if those off us who can see the oligarchs and their reactionary running dogs in Congress who got there solely because the GOP got away with rigging gerrymandered districts beyond recognition while suppressing minority voting. We have become, as Sheldon Wollin wrote so compellingly, if a bit densely, in Selling Democracy that we were on the verge of becoming an inverted totalitarian state and now in the intervening years it has happened. Worse, we’ve become a fascist totalitarian state.

        I highly recommend Wolin’s book and the early works as well. Everyone in our shredded democracy should read it and anything they can get their eyes on by Chris Hedge, Noam Chomsy, Sara Alexander & Marx’s first volume on Capital.

        We are going to have to take back our country from the imperial capitalists who are running our environment into the ground. As long as we suffer the end stages of capitalism, read Marx, that monster will not be able to respond to the already worsening global catastrophe upon us. Their model of gouge the earth, produce with whatever pollution is required, and mass consumption of things we don’t need, gouging more resources from other countries, or right now Shell in the Arctic that our Pres signed onto. The catastrophe that is capitalism has to go sooner than later. And it will not go voluntarily. We are going to have to force it to its knees and that will take forethought, courage and commitment by the masses here and around the world.

  • rebecca

    Jeb Bush loves abortions so much, wants to marry it and make more little abortions. It’s the only possible explanation for making women advertise their slutdoptions, no?

  • sallyedelstein

    So did Jeb Bush take a page out of Poppy Bushe’s playbook…who could forget the good old days of 1992’s public shaming when Vice President Dan Quayle attacked fictitious Murphy Brown for having a child “out of wedlock” causing a huge debate on family values during the 1992 Presidential campaign? http://wp.me/p2qifI-2Tw

  • Michael Rappaport

    When Jebya ran for governor of Floriduh in 1994, he was the “smart” Bush son. But he lost, and after watching his retarded brother’s success in Texas and Washington, he now realizes that the stupider he appears, the more likely it is America will love him.

  • Me not sure

    Why stop there. We need to shame drug abusers too…

  • Incoming Ham

    I don’t ever want to meet the kind of people who laud him for coming up with this idea.

    • dshwa

      There’s one two comments up, if you want to meet one to play with.

      • Incoming Ham

        Darn it, deleted before I could see it in all it’s glory.

  • Santana999

    The author had me until I got to “crotch crickets”, and spewed soda all over my phone. Wonkette owes me $900.

    That said, it is clear that shame doesn’t work. If it did, Barbara Bush would have died of it a long time ago.

    • Jared Garlock

      I guess I’m having a little trouble understanding. Is Barbara Bush supposed to feel shame because she married a President of the United States and also gave birth to one? Actually, I guess you might be saying that she should be ashamed because Jeb was only governor of Florida and not president of the US. I guess I could see how she may harbor some resentment because of Jeb’s lack of success.

  • Dave6034

    The only difference between now and the olden days is that we print an endless stream of money to feed single mothers and their fatherless babies. When that doesn’t work any more, we can either shame young girls away from unwed motherhood, or let them and their babies starve. You already rejected the first option, so…

    Of course you’ll *try* to tax the rich, but the rich didn’t get that way by being easy to tax!

    • dshwa

      Or we could do something effective, like improving access to birth control, comprehensive sex education, and getting a living wage so government support wasn’t needed as often. Of course, all that is opposed by the very people who want to do the shaming.

      • Dave6034

        Every single voter in Argentina, Greece, Ukraine, and Zimbabwe wants a living wage, but they’re not getting one, because their governments are completely broke. If you think that can’t happen in your country, you’re in for a shock. And if the rich intervene to save people who hate them from mass starvation, the rich will dictate the terms of that aid. They could e.g. spay and neuter all indigents with sub-100 IQs, which would obviate the need for birth control and sex education.

      • Jared Garlock

        You say “people,” but I don’t see any mention of anybody besides Jeb Bush wanting to do the shaming. Was there someone else that I missed?

        • LegionOfDo

          Bush was speaking for all conservatives.

          • Jared Garlock

            I could go on and on and on about what is wrong with your statement. But, I’m just going to say that I am a conservative and Jeb Bush absolutely does not speak for me in any sort of way. As a matter of fact I disagree with 95% of the conservative social agenda. How’s that for mind blowing for you? Who the hell am I going to have to speak for me now? Oh crud, does this mean I’m going to have to speak and think for myself? That’s a shame, I was so ready to grasp the new American dream of being lazy and blindly mimicking the agendas of our wretched political parties.

          • LegionOfDo

            I wasn’t saying you agree with what he says, but he thinks you do, and he thinks he speaks for you. That is the arrogance of the Republican party.

          • Jared Garlock

            And how is the DNC different? You think Obama, H. Clinton, etc. don’t think they speak for you?

          • LegionOfDo

            The subject at hand is Jeb Bush. I thought this might be one of the few times a conservative didn’t attempt to deflect and change the subject, but I was wrong. Sigh.

  • Not Sayin

    Oh shit. Crotch crickets. I’m dying here and I can’t tell the kids why I’m cracking up.

  • JEng

    I look forward to Third Revelation becoming the face of American leadership in dealings with the supporters of the Comfort Women and Piepel atrocities. He won’t even have to say anything but if he doesn’t support raising fatherless children without guilt or self-approbation, what’s he going to think about the self-pardoning of rapists because the victims were officially (according to the descendants of the unpunished rapists) “whores.”

    If you want to fight evil, you have to know who to fight so get your hands on a copy of Piepel if POTUS 45 offends you so much.

    I won’t care about Jed Bush once he gets elected and inflicts upon us aggravating misdirection as he indicates he will do. Mrs. Clinton is perfectly capable of doing the same thing but her party seems to be burning bridges by being overly liberal and irritating everyone to vote against her because of her party affiliation.

    • Jared Garlock

      I’m glad to see that somebody out there recognizes that it’s not just one, it’s two, political parties that are working together to destroy this nation. And I’m not some tin foil wearing conspiracy theorist either. The destruction they bring is all meant with good intention but we just haven’t learned over the years that good intentions tend to have unintended consequences. Nobody is maliciously attacking our country from the inside. In my opinion, the problem is that every politician thinks the solution to everything is the throw more money around. it would be nice to get somebody on the national stage who would think outside of the box and be able to articulate why more money is not always the answer. I’m old enough to have a very clear recollection of every presidency since Reagan and I don’t recall one of them who attempted to use something other than more and more debt financing to clean up our mess. The Republicans may as well have their own national holiday for Ronald Reagan fellatio day. They prance around a metaphoric golden statue of him as if he was the Messiah but, come on, if he’s the best we can do then our problems are much deeper than I thought. And while the Democrats hang their hat on Clinton, well again it’s just very very sad. Oh well, I’m done and everybody can commence with the ever so constructive amateur name calling and vicious insulting while simply disregarding everybody else’s point of views. Sorry to have taken up your time by not backing either of your political parties.

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