Surprise! Americans Love Socialism, Want To Kiss Bernie Sanders Right On His Man-Lips

Is Bernie Sanders going to take away Hillary Clinton's tiara and crown himself King of America, with votes? MAYBE! It turns out that, unlike the 19 Republicans running (one per Duggar child, as the Bible instructs), Sanders is real serious about his candidacy, and people are really liking what he has to say. Some of his events have even been standing-room only!

The latest sign came this weekend in Wisconsin at the state’s Democratic convention. In a straw poll of delegates at the meeting, 49% party officials and activists who cast ballots picked Hillary Clinton as their top choice for the Democratic presidential nominee. No surprise there – Clinton is dominating every poll and has a stronger lead than any non-incumbent presidential frontrunner in modern history.

But Sanders was within striking distance, just 9 percentage points behind Clinton, capturing 40% of the vote.

It sounds like 40 percent of US American liberals have started to "feel the Bern," which is apparently a gross slogan some old pit-hairs in Vermont gave him. But Sanders' commie-tastic socialistic message -- of investing in jobs and infrastructure, paying the ladies what they're worth, and saving the planet during lunch -- is resonating with people, so much so that he's handily beating all the other not-Hillary Democrats:

Other Clinton declared and potential challengers didn’t even come close. Vice President Joe Biden and former Gov. Martin O’Malley, who declared his presidential run last weekend, each got 16 votes. Former Sen. Jim Webb got 8 and former Gov. Lincoln Chafee, who also recently declared his run, got 5. Sen. Elizabeth Warren, who is not running, got 4 write-in votes.

Everybody be like "Martin O'Malley who?" and "Lincoln Chafee who?No, seriously, who?" Also, LOL to the four Elizabeth Warren writer-inners,she's not running, ya losers!

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So, since you all love Bernie Sanders SO MUCH and you would kiss him right on his purty mouth if you could, why don't you do the next best thing, and put Bernie Sanders right on your man-body (OR lady-body, if you swing that way) with the official Wonkette Bernie Sanders tee shirt, pictured above? You will be the life of the liberal San Francisco values swingers party if you do! Buying it is the easiest. You just click here and pick your size (in guys' sizes, figure it out, everyone) and then you put it in your shopping cart and decide whether you want to pay Wonkette in credit cards or whore diamonds.

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Yay, if you are reading this paragraph, that means you have completed your purchase and now feel good and qualified to read to the end of this post. If you have not bought your shirt yet and are somehow reading this, please scroll up and take care of that, for Bernie, for socialism, and for Jesus, why not.

[ MSNBC ]