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Hahaha, you know what’s funny, you guys? Transgender people! At least, if you are Mike Huckabee or any of the dildo-brained malcontents who respect him. Back in February, Huckabee spoke to the National Religious Broadcasters Convention, but WorldNetDaily just uploaded the video to its YouTube account, so now we get to see it! Huckabee’s speech was about, of course, “religious freedom!” and how Christianity is under attack from all corners. And of course, some of those attackers are transgender people, who would like to use the restroom please. Of course, since Huckabee and like-minded wingnuts are equal parts stupid and bigoted, the scientific reality of transgender people is reduced to “I wanna pretend I’m a lady so I can go in the girls’ locker room and see the boobies!”

“Now I wish that someone told me that when I was in high school that I could have felt like a woman when it came time to take showers in PE. I’m pretty sure that I would have found my feminine side and said, ‘Coach, I think I’d rather shower with the girls today.’ You’re laughing because it sounds so ridiculous doesn’t it?

“And yet today we are the ones who are ridiculed and scorned because we point out the obvious, that there’s something inherently wrong about forcing little children to be a part of this social experiment.”

Wingnut jokes! Wouldn’t it be fun to do something sexually predatory, to girls? Those transgender people have all the luck! “Wait, maybe if I tuck my Huckabee Penis back between my thighs and stand just so, everybody will think I’m a girl and I can pull this off! HEYA GIRLS, SHOWER TIME!”

So this would be a good time to point out that Mike Huckabee was the first wingnut to rush in and defend little girl-diddling Josh Duggar. Because Josh Duggar, unlike your heathen asses, is saved by grace, which means Jesus has washed all Duggar’s kid-diddling sins right outta His Divine Hair. Same goes for Huckabee’s son David, when he murdered that dog. Everybody makes little mistakes sometimes!

Oh and MAYBE we should also point out that whole thing, to the specific “point” Huckabee was making, about how they all paint trans people as sexual predators out to get your little girls, when time after time, it’s rapey wingnuts we should be protecting our children from. Hell, the Duggars have made a political career out of attacking LGBT people, with Michelle The Clown Car Vagina going so far as to robocall against a nondiscrimination ordinance in Fayetteville, Arkansas, warning that protections for LGBT people would put “the safety of Northwest Arkansas women and children” at risk, and would encourage “child predators.”

Pardon us, but we think the very LAST people in America who need to be talking about who is and isn’t a child predator are Mike Huckabee and the Duggar family.

But keep making your jokes, Huckabee. We’re sure you’ll get to sneak a peek at some high school boobies one of these days.

[BuzzFeed]

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  • Lizzietish81

    At this point he has reached performance art.

    • Then I very much hope the NEA cuts him. With votes! Or funding! Or whatever is handy.

  • memzilla

    Keep fucking that demographic trend chicken, wingtards. Get back to me in about 20 years and let me know how it’s workin’ for ya.

  • NotReveen

    The biggest threat to Christianity is people like Mike Huckabee.

    • JMPesq

      In some ways, maybe horrible bigots like Huckabee deserve some thanks for helping to drive people away from organized religion and shrink it’s insidious grasp on our politics and culture.

      • NotReveen

        Yes, definitely. Huckaabee also seems a lot more comfortable with the idea of showering with gay men, now that Bruce Jenner is a girl.

  • OneYieldRegular

    “I wish that someone told me that when I was in high school that I could have felt like a woman when it came time to take showers in PE”

    Now there’s a line to take on the campaign trail.

    • jmk

      “I regret my missed voyeurism opportunities… vote for me!!!”

  • FauxAntocles

    The classic point to the distance and yell WHAT IN THE WORLD CAN THAT BE?

  • beatbort

    Huckabee is still steamed about that one time he picked up a girl at a bar and got her back to his room and “she” was a “he.” Lola, L O L A, Lo oh la.

    • Viva La Tabula Raza

      What made it really devastating was that “Lola’s” dick was bigger than his.

      • janecita

        But Mike’s boobs were bigger than Lola’s

    • weejee

      Kinky that.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Well, he’s not the world’s most passionate guy.

      • Tallmutha

        But he knew what he was and he was glad he was a man and so was Lola.

        • starfanglednut

          He fell to the floor. He got down on his knees..

          • Vecciojohn

            Maybe 40 years and 95 pounds ago.

  • Lizzietish81

    He has campaign managers right? People who should be telling him this isn’t the kind of thing you want to be talking about in public.

    • JMPesq

      But that would presume he was actually interested in running for President, and not just getting attention to help get a raise upon his return to Fox “News”.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Seriously, though, when you consider the kind of person who’d be working for Mike Huckabee as a campaign manager

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I think Huckabee is too much of a narcissist to listen to anyone’s good advice. Besides, he seems to want to pander to the lowest common denominator anyway.

      • SK

        Lowest common denominator? No, he divides by zero and that results in infinite derpitude.

    • MrBlobfish

      It’s his whole platform.

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      I suspect he hires buddies, not smart people with actual filters.

  • weejee

    Oh, and Mike iffin’ you delete all that kiddie porn from your ever so hard drive, the Federales can put your chubby cheeks in the slammer for 20 years.

  • dslindc

    I think we need some more cinnamon, stat! We’re still getting a terrifying amount of stupid.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    The hell of it is, he sounds so nice and reasonable. You have to stop and think – just for a second – to realize how 100% wrong he is. Guys like that are scary. It’s easy to recognize a Fischer or a Perkins for what they are. It’s harder to see a Huckabee or a Warren for what they really are.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      His aw shucks pose is wearing thinner and thinner. I think his Duggarphilia is going to ruin him with anyone who isn’t connected to Fox News at the hip.

  • onedollarjuana

    Can’t he just look in the mirror for boobies?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Well, technically moobies but 44DD of one, 44CCCC of another.

  • chicken thief

    Right, Mike. Like you were tight with the Coach in high school.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      He probably was, if that coach was Hasty- it would be wrong not to speculation if he meant /that/ coach

    • MrBlobfish

      Are there pictures of him in his cheerleading outfit?

    • AnOuthouse

      His tightness with coach is probably what originated his obsession with locker rooms.

  • Tallmutha

    Well, he’s locked up the 13-year-old-boy vote.

  • Relativicus

    His high school had “little girls” in it? Is this about pedophilia, or heightism?

    • JMPesq

      These idiots often even call women in college “little girls”; I don’t think all elderly people do so, and they don’t say the same about the men, so it seems to be part of the conservative pathology to infantalize both teenage and young adult women, while hyper-sexualizing them at the same time.

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        What JM said. I once had a very drawn out argument with someone over Clinton the Pedophile because poor little monica was just a girl.
        Full grown able to drink and eat and legally screw and vote girl, but they did not understand why he was not a pedo and eventually I gave up.

        • jmk

          Well, to these twits, she wasn’t married, so she was still her daddy’s property…thus, “girl.”

  • cousin itt

    Trigger warning? Has Josh been beating off a dead horse again?

  • Rocky

    And all these years when Mike said trans I thought he meant trans-fat.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Partially hydrogenated oils LIBELZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!11,!!!,!!!,1,1!1

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …can someone point out which chapter in the bible discusses “who should use which bathroom”? Considering that indoor plumbing was essentially non-existent during the time of Christ, I’m pretty sure Jesus could care less about which bush you poop behind

    • JMPesq

      Why are the transphobic bigots so obsessed with bathrooms, anyway? Do they think it’s somehow a winning way to promote their bigotry, or they they have from some deep pathological paranoia about who pees where? It’s weird, and I don’t get it.

      • marxalot

        #wejusthavetopee is possibly the only excuse for hashtags

      • Latverian Diplomat

        They don’t like to have their genitals uncovered with the lights still on.

      • chicken thief

        Agreed. When I use a public restroom it’s because I have some business to attend to. Usually urgent business. The furthest thing from my mind is who else might be in there.

      • janecita

        Huckabee would probably have a heart attack if he ever saw the public urinals in Amsterdam.

      • Tallmutha

        Well, they’re emotionally arrested at the stage of early puberty where a boy can only stare in fear and desire at the door of the Girl’s Room and wonder what in the world is going on in there?

        • AnOuthouse

          I’m sure he has a very active imagination about what goes in there – everyone scantily clad, hot oil massages, etc.

          • Querolous

            I’ll be in my bunk now.

          • jmk

            Pillow fights…

      • Gleem-McShinez

        I have never seen a single genital in a men’s restroom, other than my own. I tend to keep my eyes on my own business THANKYOUVERYMUCH.

        I guess I should probably look around?

        However, judging by their obsessions with this, I’m going to end up looking at a Conservative Voter just cold staring at my junk, contemplating if it is a Real American peen, or one of those surgical fake dongers, and also what kind of orifice it might get stuck into, and how it totally probably is wanting their own b-hole right now, they bet.

        • jmk

          I don’t get the bathroom obsession, either.

          In half a century of visiting ladies’ rooms, I can honestly say that not only have I not seen a single genital, but that I’ve never encountered one in which stalls with doors were not a feature, so I’ve never so much as seen semi-public urination happening, either.

          In fact, to answer a question that mystifies guys, one of the reasons we go to the ladies room in groups is to have someone available to hold the door closed for a friend if the latch is broken.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          “I guess I should probably look around?”

          Nah, Hucksterbee, Jim Bob and the Nuge have it covered.

      • mtn_philosoph

        What does it say about them that whenever they talk about public restrooms it is always in the context of “places to have sex”?

    • MrBlobfish

      It’s all they got left. They lost on Blacks. They’re gonna lose on Gays. They’ll soon be losing to the Mexicans. They cans still kick around the trans for a while more.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Not for long. Caitlyn Jenner just took the air out of that tire.

        Maybe they can redirect their fundamentalist, fundraising anger towards fat, bleeding Belgian bastards.

    • Biff52

      Not much in the way of plumbing when the Constitution was written, either!

  • janecita

    Even Iran is more sympathetic to Transgenders than the United States. The Iranian state pays for half of your sex reassignment surgery, and you can get a new birth certificate with your new gender. Hell, in Cuba your surgery is free!

    • PubOption

      And that’s why Cuba should never have been taken off the terrorist list, they can terrorize us in the bathrooms.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Aside from noting the usual wingnut conflation of being transgender with being a crossdresser, I have to note that people properly educated by TV (as I was) know that the only gentlemanly way to use crossdressing to get access to the ladies is to cross dress to get a sweet apartment in a women’s only apartment building, preferably next door to a hottie.

    • JMPesq

      I always wondered where the hell women’s only apartment buildings come from – maybe that type of thing existed back in the early 1900s, but by the 80s I’m pretty sure that was not actually a thing that existed (and they would violate the housing accommodations portions of the Civil Rights Act).

      • Latverian Diplomat

        I think even on the show it was supposed to be a weird anachronism (like something some old lady had endowed).

        But it seems like they still exist, and are apparently legal:

        http://www.websterapartments.org/about-us/

        Also, while googling, it appears that some hotels are offering women-only floors now.

        • richardgrabman

          I had a friend who was working on a several month contract, renting a room in a monastery. Not my thing, but the guy just wanted to have his personal space without any distractions, and nothing wrong with that.

          • starfanglednut

            Sounds quite pleasant, actually.

        • DustBowlBlues

          I actually like that idea. Men can be creepy.

          • Blank Ron

            We can? Cool!

      • Peripatetic Poltroon

        When boy apartments get together with girl apartments, they can touch their HVAC ducts together & that’s where little apartments (called duplexes) come from. Sometimes something goes a little haywire & the new little apartment only does ladies or only does gents. No one knows why.

      • richardgrabman

        Back in the day when you didn’t let your daughters go out unescorted. Lowell, Mass was considered progressive for providing dorms for working girls … back in the 1830s.

      • Joshua Norton

        I think it was a take on the Barbizon Hotel for Women in NYC.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        It was because of men like Mike Huckabee.

    • JMPesq

      I always wondered where the hell women’s only apartment buildings come from – maybe that type of thing existed back in the early 1900s, but by the 80s I’m pretty sure that was not actually a thing that existed (and they would violate the housing accommodations portions of the Civil Rights Act).

    • Tallmutha

      Or you could join an all-woman orchestra on tour.

      • jviscont1

        Tony Curtis was kinda cute. Lemmon, not so much.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Hey, only some like it hot. It says so right in the title! :-)

        • Tallmutha

          Nobody’s perfect.

    • Tallmutha

      Or you could join an all-woman orchestra on tour.

    • Joshua Norton

      And, if I recall correctly, any time one of the wimmenz in the show would attempt to undress in front of them they always acted embarrassed and looked away while the laugh track went into hysterics.So there’s that.

    • nmmagyar

      But if you do that you become mentally challenged, get AIDS and die and pirates hold you hostage. So there is that…

      • nmmagyar

        Or, ever worser, you’re Peter Scolari

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Or you might just end up anchoring Honey, I Shrunk the Kids: The TV Series. Life is funny that way.

  • chicken thief

    If he was in high school today, Bill Clinton would claim to be transgender just so he could RAPE the coeds in shower.

    ~ Megyn, taking Huck to the next level

  • chicken thief

    If he was in high school today, Bill Clinton would claim to be transgender just so he could RAPE the coeds in shower.

    ~ Megyn, taking Huck to the next level

    • But he isn’t, so he won’t, and he never said he would publicly, to a meeting of “religious” people, on tape. Huckabee appreciates your donations.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    wait a minute . . . Josh Duggar is a transgender person?!??!1?/?!

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      transspiecied. He is a scum sucking bottom dweller trapped in the body of a RW leech.

      • nmmagyar

        Not seeing a “transition” in that…

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    If you say it in a deep southern drawl, it sounds like “gay rats” and ain’t that a hoot!

  • MrBlobfish

    Must suck being sexually repressed.

  • LarryHoudini

    Ha ha! I wish I were transgender too–then, even though I’d live with the open disgust of a country half-full of dipshits like Mike Huckabee, I’d finally get to see what 16-year old tits look like.

    • marxalot

      Well, when Mike was a nipper, there wasn’t the Internet, a 24-hour all singing, all dancing, all moaning service piping hot fresh tits directly to your smartphone. You can see how he’d be confused.

  • marxalot

    Who amongst us hasn’t thought “Well, it’s hopeless- you’re going to have to shave your legs and call yourself Tansy. No way you’re ever seeing boobies otherwise. Hope the hockey team doesn’t string you up the flagpole by your frilly panties.”

  • Kat Anyperson

    I think it’s particularly telling that these jackasses think something rapey and exploitative when they try and guess “what would I do if I could pass as female?”.

    For Trans people, the answer to that question is “Pee in peace”.

    • Lizzietish81

      If I had a penis, I would pee standing up.

      • starfanglednut

        I have always wanted to write my name in the snow.

        • nmmagyar

          Trust me, it’s overrated. And hella cold.

          • OrdinaryJoe

            When I was young and a bar boozer, I was always grateful for being able to drunk pee in the alley on the way home.

          • Vecciojohn
        • coozledad

          Me too. But all writing implements are not created equal, and some names are longer than others.

          • Querolous

            It helps to have a big blatter.

          • bobbert

            Sepp?

        • Gleem-McShinez

          SEE YOUR NAME IN LIGHTS PISS

          It’s really not that great

          • BackDoorMan

            … although it’s pretty impressive if your name is something like Rumpelstiltskin… and you write in cursive with no breaks.

      • coozledad

        You can do it. There’s probably a website.
        My wife says it does tend to trickle back on your shorts.

        • Kat Anyperson

          I’ve done it since I was little thanks to camping and scouting.. and not wanting to get my sensitive bits anywhere near snakes, spiders or other crawlies.

          It just requires practice and some good finger placement for “aim”. The shower is the best place to learn. I really don’t want to be more specific than that. XD

      • DustBowlBlues

        The first time I took LSD, about a hundred years ago, I was with friends in the Olympic Rainforest. Being a girl, as I was at the time, I had to pee in the bushes. As is familiar to most women, I had to keep moving my feet to make sure I didn’t pee on them. When I stood to zip up, I saw I had peed on a giant banana slug. Talk about tripping.

        • coozledad

          I stepped on one of those things once and it looked like a crushed melon. They’re huge.

      • marxalot

        You can buy a quite discreet device to help with that, if you really want, but it’s possible without.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    WWJDD?

    What would Josh Duggar Do?

    • Beowoof14

      Fap

    • Barley_Brains

      Assault minors? Salt miners??

  • intlet9949

    After showering with the girls they would have nicknamed him “The angry inch!”

    • Beowoof14

      I see a movie here, Huck and the Angry Inch.

      • dshwa

        There’s actually a play called “Hedwig and the Angry Inch.” It’s about a botched gender reassignment surgery that leaves the main character with one remaining inch.

        • Beowoof14

          I know it just seemed to fit Huck.

  • Joshua Norton

    Huckabee was the first wingnut to rush in and defend little girl-diddling Josh Duggar.

    Hey Huck. If you’re gonna spend all of your time being two-faced at least make one of them nice to look at.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    that there’s something inherently wrong about forcing little children to be a part of this social experiment.

    Is he referring to the “Quiverfull” movement here?

    If he is, I agree!

  • onedrewthree

    Boys will be boys

  • coozledad

    Coach. We’d rather shower with the girls today. We’re tired of you sliding your dick up our ass.

    -Denny Hastert’s wrestling squad.

  • Hemp Dogbane

    The Huckster is just hoping to score one of those Don’t Stop sports bras lying on the bench in the locker room. He could hold it up to show the wingnuts at one of his “speeches”.

  • geoffalnutt

    Mike Huckabooby aspires to go to high school…someday…maybe. Nah! Just kidding!

  • VandeGraf

    Time for social conservatives and paid hitpersons (Meg, et al) to circle the wagons and mount a defense of the poor Duggars, who have come to represent all that is good and holy and righteous and clean and nice…. Well, they can’t be seen as actually being okay with molestation, so they have to dial it down a bit, create straw persons, go on mild counter offensive (like, liberals are mad rapists also! yes they are!). It comes out almost as strange as the original acts, the molestations, except wider and more social. Sort of like going into the street and doing a brush pat on everyone and saying, see, no one was harmed during this act of molestation! And, besides, Bill Clinton….!

  • cheetojeebus

    Mike Huckabee, for when you really wonder what fucking idiots think.

    • nmmagyar

      Which, unsurprisingly, is never. But he won’t shut his fucking mouth.

  • SnarkOff

    So a bonafide transgender person often frequents my gym locker room and I can say with all honesty to Mike and anyone else who’s curious: Not sexxxy. Not threatening. A little surprising at first, to be sure. But, really, just a person in the locker room, along with the rest of us people.

    • AnOuthouse

      I get a strong vibe that the only time he was in a locker room, he was molested.

  • Callyson

    RWNJ and major league grifter says what now?

  • Ryan Denniston

    It’s always about the women’s restroom with these people. Um, HELLO. Trans people may also prefer the men’s room.

    • SFRealness

      I think that the fact that there are also trans men has rather eluded them. If everyone was required to use the restroom of their sex-as-assigned-at-birth, trans men would be in the women’s restroom. They seem a little clueless as to this fact…

    • AnOuthouse

      I think he’s never been in a ladies potty place. I once got to clean them so I know. He doesn’t realize there are STALLS in them. And all the marble and gilded fixtures.

    • cleos_mom

      I’m starting to suspect that these bathroom obsessors have the idea that womens’ restrooms have some equivalent of a urinal. Sorry guys, we don’t drop our drawers in the public loo.

  • Zippy

    Yeah Mike, that’s EXACTLY how it works- dumbass

    • OrdinaryJoe

      In his f’d up world view, I’m sure he believes that men transitioning should be treated as men and women transitioning also should be treated as men. Pukeabee.

      • jmk

        In his world view, women transitioning are improving themselves, which needs no explanation, while men transitioning are diminishing themselves, the only reason he can think of to do that is to see bewbies.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Damn right there’s a war on Christianity. Every Sunday morning when I pull into the church parking lot, I expect the Southern Baptists across the street to stage a commando attack on us not-hating-the-gayz Methodists. Thank the good Lord we’re in Oklahoma, where we can conceal-carry our crosses and wave them at the blood-sucking Baptists.

    Okay, kids. That’s enough theology for you to absorb today.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    A guy who is treated seriously by the media and punditoria as a candidate for president but who makes locker room jokes in public speeches that would be considered as showing a lack of emotional or intellectual maturity that defines “sophomoric”. Or is he just moronic? WTF????

  • DustBowlBlues

    Wingers always love the bathroom argument. Back in the 70s. (The 1970s, I mean), when I was marching for passage of the ERA, the argument against was always bathrooms and who would pee where. That said, urinals are disgusting.

    • AnOuthouse

      You’re not supposed to sit on them.

      • VirginiaLady

        No? Then how do you guys….is there a way you guys have found to do it standing up or something? My poor girl brain is confussed!

        • Doug Langley

          It’s like a superpower.

          • Vienna Woods

            my only form of penis envy

        • BackDoorMan

          … a popular sign in toiletten facilities all over Germany…

    • nmmagyar

      Urinals are fine if you don’t actually touch them

    • dimplasm

      Okay, true story. I was in 6th grade and was at band camp at a University in Arkansas. Apparently, one of the girls didn’t know what a urinal was. It was summer and they had housed us in one of the (during the usual school year) men’s dorms. Anyway, this girl thought it was awesome how they had this special thing just for washing her hair…

  • AnOuthouse

    “yet today we are the ones who are ridiculed and scorned ”

    I’m pretty sure you have always been ridiculed and scorned because stupid.

    • Swampgas_Man

      I figured ridicule and scorn in childhood is what made Huckapoo this way.

  • bumfug

    Sure, that’s why Bruce Jenner transitioned to Caitlyn – it was just too damn hard to get a glimpse of naked titty at the Kardashian compound.

  • Poly_Ester

    Any wounds suffered by christianists are self-inflicted. That’s what happens when willful stupidity meets reality.

  • Incoming Ham

    Christ on a bike, even if there is a lumber shortage they will *never* run out of nails.

  • VirginiaLady

    Selling tickets now for the Jenner/Huckabee cat fight. Bets can be placed at the usual Wonkette bookie location.

  • whitroth

    Think of the children! I think we need laws to force every funnymentalist to register as at least a potential sex offender. Yes?

    mark

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Someone in the press should measure the actual bounds of Huckabee’s adolescent voyeurism fantasies, and ask him some pointed questions.

    “Hidden cameras obviously were too expensive back in the day, but nowadays, technology makes them small, inexpensive, and wireless! Couldn’t you get your jollies from a hidden camera, rather deal with the fallout of gender swapping?”

    “Peek through a neighbor’s windows, or mirror on your shoe?”

    “Are you one of those really dedicated, driven fellows? Like, have you ever considered hiding out in the pit under outhouses, to get a really good look?”

    • Mintie

      Jerking off to public scandal is legal. Hiddle cameras and peeking through windows is not.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Wouldn’t it be awesome if this comment backfired, and his crosseyed Evangelicals took it to mean that he was actually saying he wanted to become “Michaela Huckabee: America’s First Trans President.”

  • Vecciojohn

    A plea to all transgenders – If you ever see the Huck and he goes into the men’s room, please follow him in, especially if you are dressed in women’s clothing at the time.

  • dimplasm

    Creepy Uncle Huckabuck Sugarbee. Gross. No one wanted you then, no one wants you now.

  • raptorjesus

    I think Mike Huckabee is what happens when a chicken fried steak becomes self-aware.

  • John

    Mike Huckabee’s campaign slogan’s just write themselves.
    Cue manly voice over (probably Ted Nugent if he’s not too busy shitting his pants):”Vote for Mike Huckabee, pro-child-molesting, pro-sexual predator, pro-animal cruelty, but very, very anti-gay,. He’s everything I want in a man”.

    • cleos_mom

      Maybe he could take a leaf from the old Bob Newhart show’s playbook and nickname himself “The Peeper.”

  • I_Buttle

    I can’t believe a idiot of such staggering, colossal idiotness. Fuck you you idiot Mike Huckabee, you fucking idiot.

  • Spotts1701

    Dude, if you wanted to see boobs why didn’t you just swipe the neighbor’s Playboy?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      That would have been a sin.

  • Spotts1701

    Dude, if you wanted to see boobs why didn’t you just swipe the neighbor’s Playboy?

  • sqeptiq

    God must really hate Huckabee to have made him less hip and modern than Rick Santorum.

    http://www.cbsnews.com/news/rick-santorum-clarifies-comments-on-bruce-jenners-identity/

  • grmpy

    I’m not gonna lie, I was expecting good things out of Mike Huckabee based on that title. disappointed again :(

  • idiotboy

    Ok, here is my bathroom trauma which has sat in the foremost part of my memory for 50+ years and will not leave.

    1st grade, 1st day, St Francis Jane grade school Los Angeles. Name has been altered. 1965.
    White Bread as it gets. 90 year old sister motherfucker says it’s time to go to laboratory en masse. I am freaking because I have been in laboratories and they take your blood and make you pee and shit for reals, and the ones mentioned or seen on the TV or movie screen are not ever fun.

    So we march across the playground in our uniforms herded by sister mary c word to a large LAVATORY, a word I had never heard.

    She lined us boys at the urinal, helped us pull down our uniform trousers and instructed us on the proper way to hold onto our dicks and pee together in the trough, shake three times, reverse procedure.

    It was the scariest few minutes of my life. I have had a number of near death thingys since then but they were of my own doing and involved outdoor activities. None of them sits in my twisted brain like this does. Plenty more catholic school stories but for whatever reason it still wakes me up.

    You heard it here first, never written this down before.

    Going to re-listen to Desmond Decker now, that made my day.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Mike, Mike, Mike. You haven’t thought this through. If you’d claimed to be trans so you could shower with the girls in high school, people who could be described as “your followers” would have beat the living shit out of you and possibly cut off your dick and balls so you’d fit in better in the girls’ shower.

    In Jesus’s name, of course.

  • Alex Grey

    Um, yeah…

  • cleos_mom

    Kiddie diddling? Killing harmless stray dogs? The Repugs sure know how to tickle their voters’ groins.

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