Mike Huckabee's Secret Trans Fantasy: High School Sex Boobies For Everyone!

Hahaha, you know what's funny, you guys? Transgender people! At least, if you are Mike Huckabee or any of the dildo-brained malcontents who respect him. Back in February, Huckabee spoke to the National Religious Broadcasters Convention, but WorldNetDaily just uploaded the video to its YouTube account, so now we get to see it! Huckabee's speech was about, of course, "religious freedom!" and how Christianity is under attack from all corners. And of course, some of those attackers are transgender people, who would like to use the restroom please. Of course, since Huckabee and like-minded wingnuts are equal parts stupid and bigoted, the scientific reality of transgender people is reduced to "I wanna pretend I'm a lady so I can go in the girls' locker room and see the boobies!"

“Now I wish that someone told me that when I was in high school that I could have felt like a woman when it came time to take showers in PE. I’m pretty sure that I would have found my feminine side and said, ‘Coach, I think I’d rather shower with the girls today.’ You’re laughing because it sounds so ridiculous doesn’t it?

“And yet today we are the ones who are ridiculed and scorned because we point out the obvious, that there's something inherently wrong about forcing little children to be a part of this social experiment.”

Wingnut jokes! Wouldn't it be fun to do something sexually predatory, to girls? Those transgender people have all the luck! "Wait, maybe if I tuck my Huckabee Penis back between my thighs and stand just so, everybody will think I'm a girl and I can pull this off! HEYA GIRLS, SHOWER TIME!"

So this would be a good time to point out that Mike Huckabee was the first wingnut to rush in and defend little girl-diddling Josh Duggar. Because Josh Duggar, unlike your heathen asses, is saved by grace, which means Jesus has washed all Duggar's kid-diddling sins right outta His Divine Hair . Same goes for Huckabee's son David, when he murdered that dog. Everybody makes little mistakes sometimes!

Oh and MAYBE we should also point out that whole thing, to the specific "point" Huckabee was making, about how they all paint trans people as sexual predators out to get your little girls, when time after time, it's rapey   wingnuts we should be protecting our children from. Hell, the Duggars have made a political career out of attacking LGBT people, with Michelle The Clown Car Vagina going so far as to robocall against a nondiscrimination ordinance in Fayetteville, Arkansas, warning that protections for LGBT people would put "the safety of Northwest Arkansas women and children” at risk, and would encourage “child predators."

Pardon us, but we think the very LAST people in America who need to be talking about who is and isn't a child predator are Mike Huckabee and the Duggar family.

But keep making your jokes, Huckabee. We're sure you'll get to sneak a peek at some high school boobies one of these days.

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[ BuzzFeed ]