So a short while back that feels like a million years ago now, we quite presciently told you Josh Duggar proves “reality shows are bad, the Duggars are the worst, bigots are terrible, and don’t homeschool your kids.” And that was before we knew garbage person Josh Duggar used to touch his sisters in their bathing suit areas; we just thought he was your standard issue dumb homeschooled bigot, gay-bashing on behalf of the hate group Family Research Council — not an actual criminal who did the kind of things we are pretty sure Jesus would not approve of.
We were so innocent then, in April, but now we know all this disgusting stuff about disgusting Josh Duggar and his disgusting Duggar family, and their disgusting homeschool lesson plans about how you should resist your slutty sisters’ tempting vaginas, not because that makes you a sick child molester, but because of how you should save your sacred sperm for putting inside of your wife to make an army of dumb bigoted maybe even molesty babies, like the Bible says. Yeah. BRB, rolling our eyes.
Anyway, here is some more gross for you:
“Abuse” is the new “racism.” As soon as you’re accused of it, you’re considered guilty. Just what would you like the Duggars to have done? Turn all their kids over to a godless psychologist? Maybe one supplied by the local public school system where “abuse” is so unheard of? Should they have skinned Josh alive, rolled him in salt and hung him on a meathook?
That charming defense of Josh Duggar and his scumbag parents comes from Quiverfull Homeschooling Hero Rick Boyer, who wrote The Book on how to have have 10,000 kids and counting, for The Lord, and is a big fan of keeping them at home, so they don’t get education cooties and learn real stuff. Apparently, Boyer did not hear that, according to his best friend Jim Bob Duggar, who loves Boyer’s book very much — what a nice incestuous-but-not-in-a-criminal-way relationship they have — why yes, Josh should have been skinned alive because that’s what you do to rapists and incesters. At least, that’s what Jim Bob Duggar believed when he was running (unsuccessfully) to be the next Republican senator from the WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? state of Arkansas.
Boyer, like presidential contender (LOL) and former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee (see above re WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?), thinks Josh has already suffered enough, from molesting his sisters, so we need to stop talking about that now, because Josh has forgiven himself, and his parents have forgiven themselves, and it’s all good now, SHUT UP:
The guy sinned, repented, changed, and lived an exemplary life for TWELVE YEARS before a tabloid spent thousands of dollars sending a team to Arkansas to go door to door trying to dig up dirt on this exemplary family. How much would it cost them to find dirt on YOU? Would they have to dig that hard? Do you hear Josh’s sisters railing against him? Not, it’s not the victims howling for scalps, it’s pagans and gullible Christians, eagerly grabbing the bait and shooting their own wounded. Ok, go ahead and follow the crowd. I am taking a stand here and now, and you may quote me anywhere you care to. The Duggars are an exemplary family and I wish I were half the man that Jim Bob Duggar is. I hope I have made myself clear. Let the chips fall where God guides them.
We’d hate to casually toss around unfounded accusations of abuse against anyone who wishes he were just like the guy who covered up his son’s molestation of his daughters — and god forbid we sound like some hysterical liberals who unfairly cry “ABUSE!” when someone admits to, you know, abuse — but wow, this Boyer fella really has us scratching our heads. Not only is he real mad at everyone for persecuting the Duggars, but he thinks Bill Gothard, the guy who developed the How To Not Rape Your Sisters lesson plan, and was accused of doing some maybe criminal sex stuff himself, is also innocent and should be left alone, and he heartily endorses Gothard’s homeschooling curriculum too.
All these Duggar defenders sure do seem nice, don’t they? Keeping their kids home, away from dirty sinful schools, so they can teach them not to do sex or even think about sex — but hey, if they happen to sex any kids, well, that’s their own business, and don’t you dare call it abuse.
Ugh, sooo gross. And that just goes to prove how smart we are, because we went to real schools and learned actual stuff, for knowing that you shouldn’t homeschool your kids for many reasons, but now also too including that they might end up like these sick bastards who think it’s NO BIG DEAL TO MOLEST YOUR SISTERS. And now we’re going to go back to rolling our eyes. Forever.