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Expressions of wingnut support for Josh Duggar and his molesty past are starting to drip in, now that they’ve remembered that the focus of the narrative is REDEMPTION, because they have Jesus and you don’t. They are saved, you are going to hell. They can fuck kids, and you don’t fuck kids in the first place, but they said sorry to God, so ALL BETTER.

Mike Huckabee, Arkansas BFF of the Duggar family, would like you all to know that Josh Duggar Did A Bad, but he is forgiven, and all these people who are attacking them now are just doing it because they’re bloodthirsty Jesus-haters:

Janet and I want to affirm our support for the Duggar family. Josh’s actions when he was an underage teen are as he described them himself, ‘inexcusable,’ but that doesn’t mean ‘unforgivable.’ He and his family dealt with it and were honest and open about it with the victims and the authorities.

See? Jesus saves and forgives.

No purpose whatsoever is served by those who are now trying to discredit Josh or his family by sensationalizing the story. Good people make mistakes and do regrettable and even disgusting things. […] Those who have enjoyed revealing this long ago sin in order to discredit the Duggar family have actually revealed their own insensitive bloodthirst, for there was no consideration of the fact that the victims wanted this to be left in the past and ultimately a judge had the information on file destroyed — not to protect Josh, but the innocent victims.

Oh, see, maybe Mike Huckabee does not understand that part of the reason the Duggars are hated by so many good, decent Americans, is that they are EXTREMELY anti-gay, they tell people that transgender people are going to rape their little girls in the bathroom, and other stuff and things. These are people who portray an entire minority segment of the population as predators. It’s not that people are “bloodthirsty,” and they’re certainly not HAPPY the Duggar girls were sexually abused. God, no. This is a story about how wingnuts really shouldn’t go around baselessly calling entire groups of people child molesters, especially when they’re hiding their own child molesting past.

Huckabee concludes by saying that “we are all sinners” and “need His grace and His forgiveness.” We just apparently need it for different things.

Of course, Mike Huckabee has walked the same path as Jim Bob Duggar, in having to cover up that the boy the Lord dun gave you hath gone astray. Huckabee’s boy didn’t diddle little girls, he just murdered a puppy dog, that’s all. As yr Wonkette reported all the way back in 2007:

Word is that David [Huckabee] and his best buddy hanged a stray dog while they were counselors at a Boy Scout camp, but no charges were ever filed and David eventually became an Eagle Scout despite being fired from his “job” as a Boy Scout camp counselor for torturing a fucking stray dog. While neither confirming nor denying the incident, Huck told Newsweek “There was a dog that apparently had mange and was absolutely, I guess, emaciated.”

You know all those lovely stories you see on the FaceSpace, about “they found this dog starving in a ditch, and you’ll never believe what he looks like now”? Yeah, two roads diverged in a wood, and David Huckabee instead took the one that had the emaciated stray dog on it, and he hung it up to die.

Mike Huckabee was Arkansas’s governor at the time, and he did what he could to sweep it under the rug, just like Jim Bob Duggar did, because BOYS WILL BE BOYS, we guess, and also as long as you ask Jesus to wash your sins away, all is well.

[Mike Huckabee on Facebook via The New Civil Rights Movement]

 

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  • Shut the fuck up, Huck. And die, also.
    ~

    • nothingisamiss

      I can’t even say “with votes” to be a good little commentor for rebels. These people….Lake of fire is too easy.

  • BadKitty904

    I reckoned the Huckster would be one of the first of the Professionally Righteous™ to weight in on incest-boy’s skullDuggery…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Duggars are part of the tribe. They’re whiter than white, so they get the “your sins are forgiven” line, unlike screeching about “where is the father!” which takes place when the melanin enhanced are involved.

      • QHarp

        Well, I mean they have a point. God intended families to have a mother AND a father– that’s why He made women more nurturing and men better at covering up sexual abuse and animal torture allegations.

  • Beowoof14

    And as least as far as we know, Huckabee didn’t fuck the dog before he executed it.

    • Zippy

      it would be irresponsible not to speculate

    • Wee Mousie

      It would be logical to do so to kill the dog to keep the it from bearing tails of its molestation to the authorities: ie, Parents, S.P.C.A., & Iams Dog Food company.

  • Me not sure

    Dear Rev. Huckabee,
    “O, Brother why art thee?”
    Your’s in Jebus,
    Me not sure

  • marxalot

    There’s nothing about this that was “open” or “honest,” and keeping the predator in contact with his victims is about the worst method of protecting the victims I’ve heard of in a while.

    • BadKitty904

      Of course there wasn’t. This is simply another “reflex lie” on the part of the Huckster and his ilk…

  • Jason M

    Josh and Huck both have the “Evil Bloat”. You know what I mean?

    • Beowoof14

      The sin of gluttony from which there is forgiveness except from your coronary arteries

      • Jason M

        That congressdude that gave away his adopted girls, he had it too. I dunno what it is, it’s not being fat. It’s like all their shittiness and hypocrisy is swelling inside them or something.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Legislatordude, actually, but points for bringing it back to Arkansas.

          • Zippy

            I’m starting to wonder if mebe Slick Willie isn’t actually the most morally upright person from that state, blow jobs and all

          • Villago Delenda Est

            He actually admitted that he got involved with Monica “because he could”. That’s one of the most honest things he’s ever said.

            I think Hillary was every bit as pissed about his political blindness to his acts as much as she was about his infidelity, because it was stupid, stupid, stupid to hand his vile enemies a ready made scandal. Total unforced error.

          • Wee Mousie

            Speaking of dog, what I found unforgivable was, if you are going to imperil your presidency over a piece of tail, couldn’t you at least imperil it over a decent looking piece of tail?

          • nothingisamiss

            Amen.

  • cousin itt

    Blood libel thirst11!!

  • tihond

    Shorter Huckabee: IOKIYAR or “At least Josh hasn’t went on to kill a cop yet.”

    • BadKitty904

      Nor is he black. Court adjourned!

  • Mary Sandoras

    Liberals need not apply for forgiveness from Jeebus.
    ~Mike Huckabee

  • JohnBull

    Too bad “molestation” isn’t as alliterative as God, gravy, guns, and griftin’.

    • Fun with Cthulhu

      Gonad grabbing…

    • Wee Mousie

      Groping, gravy, guns and griftin’.

    • Billy Rubin

      Gizzards, gums, and gonorrea

  • middleclassman1

    Huckster probably got them to give him a dog hanging badge. What’s wrong with these people? They want all gay consenting adults condemned to hell for all eternity but child molesters are welcomed back into the church with open arms?

    • Wee Mousie

      Don’t be ridiculous, how else was David Huckabee to earn his lynching badge if he didn’t hang something. At least he didn’t hang the undocumented Messican maid, or gardener.

  • CosmoLupertazzi

    Keep talking Huckelberry, and keep digging that hole you won’t be able to climb out … deeper and deeper … the Duggars will be taking you with them even farther away from that Presidential race you’re just in to sell books! AND … now you’ve reminded dog lovers that your son is a demented animal killer. You’re two for two Huck. Stick to playing bass with Joe Scarborough, that’s more your speed.

  • timpundit

    Get Duggered, Huckleberry.

  • Lazy Media

    Wouldn’t “those who are trying to discredit” Josh include the Patriarchy Research Council, who FIRED Josh? Did Huck just call out Bryan Fischer? WINGNUT FIGHT!!!!

    • tihond

      I imagine that as something similar to the gasoline fight from Zoolander.

    • BackDoorMan

      … CNN (the Clearly Not News channel) is going with Josh “resigning” from his position – but I’m willing to bet he was given the choice of “resign or be fired”. Added bonus: you can spin a resignation as showing how “sorry” you are.

      • Blank Ron

        Who wants to bet that he is quietly rehired as soon as this ‘blows over’?

  • tihond

    Every time Huckabee speaks, he should be legally required to be followed by some Seinfeld-esque slap bass.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Or a Law and Order “Cha-Ching!”

    • Randy Riddle

      Or the “Price is Right” loosing horn.

    • Lot_49

      “Yakkety-Sax” fits in there somewhere too.

    • marxalot

      Sad trombone.

    • tinker12

      Hilarious! The Huckster actually plays the bass guitar.

    • Billy Rubin

      A plastic kazoo would work nicely

  • cousin itt

    Scouting has really come along way–now you can get a Dog Hanging merit badge.

    What’s that, Lassie? Timmy hanged FiFi?

    • Lot_49

      Once the possibility of ghey scoutmasters was even raised, this was the inevitable result, even though it happened in the past.

  • diogenez
  • Rick Hill

    And they certainly need to understand that everyone else they demand go to jail for a long time, regardless of whether they even commit a crime but when you are in a certain group that says the magic words, bingo-bango-bongo they get to go on with a normal life.

    • Duckbudder

      You forgot Irving.

  • Anarchy Pony

    Anyone other than a Duggar and they’d probably being itching to hang him from a lamppost.

  • BadKitty904

    Which of the Harkonnen’s is that on the left in that photo?

    • cousin itt

      All I see are swollen pustules.

    • Treg Brown

      That red headed one you’re referring to scares the bejeebus out of me.

  • tihond

    Theory: If the state trooper that Jim Bob took Josh to was a member of their church, they might have been aware of his sins and knew he wouldn’t blab about Josh.

    • Zippy

      he’s too busy serving hard time for child porn to talk

  • Villago Delenda Est

    So, Mike, the Duggar boy made a mistake like you did in pardoning Wayne DuMond?

    Squeak up, Mike!

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    Jim Bob is so pissed he didn’t take the result of the family vote and throw Josh into the wood chipper at work.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    With all the guns in the house how come one of the sisters didn’t blow his head off one night?

    • tihond

      Do you think they let the girls learn how to use the guns?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Not allowed to listen to Aerosmith and get any ideas.

  • Randy Riddle

    Yeah, ‘dem boys will be boys when committing felonies…

  • Joshua Norton

    I don’t watch a lot of Reality TV. Are there any shows that aren’t about bigoted scumbag hypocrites?

    • tihond

      That one where everyone hits on Bret Michels.

      • tihond

        The only lie in that show was Bret’s attempts to pretend to still have hair.

        • Zippy

          or a voice

    • AnOuthouse

      The Amazing Race? Its more about privileged white people getting carried around by third worlders.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Something, something, something, Katie.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “No beer and no TV make Homer something something!”

    • Kat Anyperson

      There is a reason I mostly watch food porn of the Chopped Canada nature. There isn’t enough time to establish large amounts of douchebaggery, but there are usually a few good cooking tips for using up leftovers ^^b

      • DemmeFatale

        But the host gives me the creeps.

  • memzilla

    *poof* You get Forgiveness! *poit* You get Forgiveness! *poom* Everybody in the audience gets Forgiveness!

    • Zippy

      except teh gheys- no forgiveness for them

      • BadKitty904

        “Or anybody else who disagrees with us.”

        • Wee Mousie

          In fact, you can get forgiveness *poof* for the very same thing for which they get forgiveness *poit.* But, if at anytime afterwards, you disagreed with them *grrr,* your forgiveness *FOOP* is rescinded retroactively.,

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Huckabee concludes by saying that “we are all sinners” and “need His grace and His forgiveness.”

    My friends, this is the party of personal responsibility.

    • Zippy

      Redemption for me, hell and brimstone for thee

    • elviouslyqueer

      This is also why religion in America is sinking faster than a turd in a vacuum toilet.

      • frrolfe

        The numbers of fundies in US is grossly overstated, mainly by multiple counting of the same people who “got saved” by local chuches, esp in a geographically mobile country like US. ie, when you move to a new church you’re counted as a member by both old and new church.

        What seems to be undisputed is that the number of “baptists” getting baptised continues to decline year by year.

        Plus, also too: Lying about membership figures.

        • Wee Mousie

          I left the church I was brought up in as soon as I could, at eighteen, but it wasn’t until I was thirty-two that someone started checking on who hadn’t been tithing enough to to support the Church Building Fund. I told him I had quit years ago and hadn’t been back since. He made sounds like someone having a coronary, and hung up. He also struck me off the church member list. I know because my mother found out a few weeks later and called me on it.

          Most people don’t leave their church with a “flounce,” they just quite coming. So, I wouldn’t give too much credence to church membership numbers.

          • BackDoorMan

            … so much for the church being interested in your “salvation”, they didn’t miss you for all those years until they needed a “donation”. Yup… sounds about right.

    • harryeagar

      And besides, we are not all sinners.

    • Gil

      How true ! And me sitting here in my cotton-polyester blend shirt. I hope I don’t have to go to Hell.

    • BadKitty904

      AND Family Values!

  • Flashman

    Huckabee’s shadow once killed a dog.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “I cast a shadow on a dog in Reno, just to watch it die.”

  • Zippy

    No purpose whatsoever? How about the idea that shining a light on this fucking pervert and the sick Xtian cult they call a family might prevent even more abuse? At every step of the way these sick fucks blocked any attempts to deal with Josh’s perversion. Who knows how long it went on and with how many victims? who knows if his own kids were in danger from him? Who knows if there are other sickos in this cult? Given that sexual abuse is quite often a generational problem, time to shine a light on daddy Jim Bob the enabler too.

    • MonaLisaFrown

      Oh AMEN! I was waiting for someone to say this… I greatly fear we have not heard the last of the fuckery going on here… the single biggest obstacle being the victims being shamed and hushed into silence. I think it’s well past due that the fucking FBI swoop in and investigate this entire disgusting family… and you can start with removing every last one of those children from this suppressive, misogynistic hell-hole. This family needs to go downtown REAL fast, starting with the patriarch who decidedly chose to protect his pedophile son’s freedom over the innocence of his own daughters. Fucking perverts, the lot of em. Prison for all of them, I say!

      • Drew Miner

        Yes, and am I the only one suspicious that the lawman that THEY select to take their young sex offender to JUST SO HAPPENS to be a pervert of EXACTLY THAT SAME PERSUASION?!

        • Blank Ron

          And now we know: child molester support groups ARE a thing.

  • Joshua Norton

    not to protect Josh, but the innocent victims.

    Just for that statement alone, Huckabee should be required to have his own personal laugh track follow him around for the next couple of years.

    • FlownOver

      This is the Wonket Mission Statement.

    • Querolous

      Or Stewie

  • elviouslyqueer

    Bears repeating:

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oh, he’s very serious.

      He’s Yahoo Serious.

    • Lot_49

      Never noticed it before, but that movie has some distinctly homerotic overtones.

      • Blank Ron

        How did you miss them?

  • Relativicus

    Believing you know God’s thoughts is blasphemy, pastor.

    • Lot_49

      This should be:

      (1) on the call board in front of every church,
      (2) run as a crawl under every televangelist broadcast,
      (3) said by the muezzin before every call to prayer
      (4) handed out on a holy card at every mass…

      etc etc…

      • Villago Delenda Est

        But it will not be, for very good reasons. This has always been about power and grift.

        • Zippy

          the Jebus business is quite lucrative

    • marxalot

      The “sin of presumption” was taught as up there with “rejection of the grace of God” back when I was wearing plaid and doing the sit-stand-kneel-mumble with the rest of the godly Commies.

      • FlownOver

        The Xtian Teachings Cafeteria is the only one where the Huckster doesn’t take a little of everything on offer.

  • AnOuthouse

    One person’s “insensitive bloodthirst,” is another person’s religious freedom. I’m sure people would be willing to forgive Josh if he was an upright citizen making contributions to society but he isn’t, so we don’t.

    • HogeyeGrex

      What, you mean lobbying for a hate group isn’t upright enough? But he wears a suit!

  • Bren

    There’s a whole lot of ‘Merican prime beef in that picture. I guess the Fuckabee family haven’t been paying too much attention to the Commie gay muslim socialist President’s wife telling them to eat healthy.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s mostly marbling, not actual meat.

      • BadKitty904

        Aka, fat.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          I was trying to be discreet!

          • BadKitty904

            Look at that photo again – *how* can one be discreet?

          • tinker12

            Q: Does this shirt make me look fat?
            A: No, the fat makes you look fat.

    • Logic of Color

      I think the shit-food lobby finally got to her. Now she’s talking more about exercise.
      .

    • doubt’n T

      I see lots of pork but NO beef.

    • Gil

      They misunderstood what “big man on campus” means.

      • Bren

        President Fuckabee’s limit the size of Government idea will be to sack the White House gym staff.

  • Gristle McThornbody

    I would just like to inform the Duggars and the Hucksters that if there was a loving god of any sort he would hate you people. Jesus would hate you people. Too bad neither of them exist to smite the shit right out of all of you. You can’t be decent even though you believe in a god. In fact, you use your god to expunge yourselves of any accountability for whatever freakishly immoral thing you happen to think is a good idea at the time. You are truly some of the most vile, loathsome assholes on the planet.

    You may tell yourself that you have redemption for any hateful thing you do, but if you really believed in your god you would realize he went on genocidal rampages and wiped out countless people for behaviors pretty close to your own. And many of the people he rid the planet of were guilty of far less hypocrisy, hatefulness, bigotry, and general fuckwittery than you. You make me wish I believed in hell.

    • Logic of Color

      Damn decent rant

      • Gristle McThornbody

        Awww, garsh, thanks. I prayed for divine guidance, but I think I still might have sworn a little more than Mikey likes in a lady.

        • tinker12

          That was one of the most eloquent, spot-on things I’ve ever read. Anywhere.

    • doubt’n T

      You win! I hope the vile thing actually reads these comments. Can’t wait to hear what sayeth Pat Robertson!

    • Querolous

      I find it mildly annoying as an atheist that saying “God Damn It” doesn’t actually mean anything.

    • riledupone

      Major ups for that. Well done.

  • OzarkTroutBum

    New show pitch for TLC.

    19 Molested and Counting starring the Buggar Family!

  • RumAddled

    Wow, the Republicans are just trying to get The Onion to go out of business. The shit writes itself.

  • JohnR

    The Huckster seems to gravitate to the molesters of little girls, he’s friends with Ted Nugent and now he can add Josh Duggar to the list, oh and he’s running for President so send money, amen.

    • Zippy

      Palling around with pedophiles

      • BadKitty904

        “Tonight, on TLC!”

  • tihond

    This is great news for John McCain (in that I haven’t seen a picture of him with Josh yet).

  • Kat Anyperson

    Of course Huckabee would defend the Duggars. We already know he thinks “bitches don’t count”, which seems to be the general consensus at the Duggar camp.

    Hmm… I might have a campaign song suggestion for ol Huck…..

    • FlownOver

      Right up there with Wang Dang…

  • JohnR

    This is being blown out of proportion, what about all of the sisters that Josh didn’t molest? As far as we know.

    • BadKitty904

      Yet.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Or brothers. Also too.

    • Sharkey

      To say nothing of the babysitters.

  • JohnR

    You could not make a fake photo of the Huckabees better than that.

  • Dick Hertz

    This asshole gets all over Michelle Obama for being a bad parent because her teenage daughters listen to Beyonce. But looking the other way about your son feeling up your young daughters is perfectly fine parenting.
    Fuck Huck.

    • Sam Hain

      Well he asked Jeebus for fergibness, makes all crimes Okey-dokey wit da lord our savior from our sticky pervy hands and actions…besides that dog had it coming…

  • elviouslyqueer

    the victims wanted this to be left in the past and ultimately a judge
    had the information on file destroyed — not to protect Josh, but the
    innocent victims

    And the award for Most Odious Example of Victim Blaming goes to: MIKE HUCKABEE!

    • Zippy

      How the fuck does he know what the victims want?

      Oh yeah, he considers Josh to be the real victim here

      • BadKitty904

        The same way he knows what God wants – he makes it up.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Now, that’s totally unfair to the voices in Huckleberry’s haid.

      • HogeyeGrex

        To be fair, I believe it was one of the victims that petitioned the judge. Not that she wouldn’t have been acting on orders from daddy, or anything.

      • guppy06

        Simple: Those who lack a Y-chromosome have no will of their own, so what “they” want is actually what their father/husband/father-husband wants.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Mother of God, now I’m dry heaving. What do you think the odds are there’s some bedwetting and arson in the family closet?

  • harryeagar

    Actually, Jesus and I talked it over, and he has not forgiven the Duggars. He really does care about works more than faith; that’s why he did all those miracles. And when to comes to forgiveness, you have to stop it first; it’s not like a permanent hall pass.

  • Rimshot101

    Christians make forgivable mistakes. Not-so-Christian people commit repeated sexual offenses on multiple victims. Got it.

  • geoffalnutt

    Vertical stripes are SO slimming…on most people. We may be talking hazmat tarps, here.

    • Zippy

      more like Ringling Brothers tents

      • HogeyeGrex

        Those kids are certainly as creepy as any clown ever was.

  • tihond

    Huckabee: “Let he whose son hasn’t killed a dog cast the first stone… Wow, really. Where did y’all get rocks so quickly?”

  • diogenez

    “Wherever morality is based on theology, wherever right is made
    dependent on divine authority, the most immoral, unjust, infamous things
    can be justified and established.”


    Ludwig Feuerbach,

    The Essence of Christianity

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Do you know which infamous 20th Century personality claimed he was doing Gott’s will?

      • PubOption

        Osama bin Laden?

      • diogenez

        David Hasselhoff?

      • w9anthimos

        Ronald Reagan?

      • Gil

        Dick Nixon ?

      • dshwa

        Timothy McVeigh?

      • Lancelot Link

        Jim Jones?

  • Iron Monkey

    With all do respect to Huckabee: Who the fuck are you to forgive anyone for anything in this sorry story?

    • elviouslyqueer

      Honey, he doesn’t deserve any respect.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Respect must be earned with deeds, it is not just handed out like hymnals.

    • Blank Ron

      Like all these wastes of oxygen and carbon, he is God’s Appointed Representative On Earth. So he gets to say. Nyah.

  • Spotts1701
  • Jinmichigan

    Funny who Mike Nevergonnabee thinks is deserving of his forgiveness.

    • Zippy

      like that rapist he pardoned because the guy mouthed the right werdz about jebus

      • Logic of Color

        Hey, those little Duggar hussies shouldn’t have been sleeping so provocatively

      • Axomamma

        And she was a relative of Bill Clinton.

  • Iron Monkey

    I just realized why the family picture at the top of the post is so creepy–or at least creepier than I originally thought. The daughter seems to have a really forced, I would rather be anywhere else, smile while the two sons look like real predators,

  • Lefty Frizzell

    That really is just about THE perfect family portrait!

    Just squeeze up a little to make room for Josh Duggar, Justin Harris, The Nuge, Rick Scott and maybe that guy from The Hills Have Eyes…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Do you know who else posed for family pictures?

      • Zippy

        Charles Manson?

      • Logic of Color

        Everyone I know?

      • bobbert

        Sister Sledge?

      • riledupone

        Everybody named Kardashian?

      • gedjcj

        Is it Hitler? I bet it’s Hitler!!

    • guppy06

      That really is just about THE perfect family portrait!

      Santorum concession libel!

  • JohnBull

    New on QVC: Uncle Huck’s patented “Redemption” books-on-Kindle for all those not-so-Christiany times so you too can get square with the Almighty. Call now and we’ll double your Redemption for the low price of $39.99, PLUS we’ll send you the former governor’s diabetes-bustin’ cinnamon rolls.
    (offer not available to democrats.)

    • FlownOver

      At least when you purchased indulgences you didn’t have to carry the damn things around.

  • Incoming Ham

    We all know what prisoners think of child molesters. When they are sent to prison they are classified as the scum of the earth and are immediate targets. This is the case whether or not the molester says they found Jesus.

    But pastor Huckabee is cool with child molesters (if they are friends or relations), being under the impression that he is the better man for forgiving and rising above it all. Somehow I think his response would be different if he didn’t know him personally. It would be “unforgivable” and he would be screaming for blood.

    Sanctimonious twit.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      If there were more melanin involved in the perp, you know how Mike here would roll.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    The Huckabee clan obviously signed up for the Chris Christie Stadium Food Diet.

  • Ryan Denniston

    I know how you can redemption for any crime the “government” charges you with with this one weird trick.

  • Sharkey

    Free Jinger!

    • DemmeFatale

      Really.
      She looks like she has some stories to tell!

      • Blank Ron

        Assuming she is allowed to talk to strangers.

  • VirginiaLady

    I hope all those self righteous fucksticks fry in hell. I want to watch. For having to hear all their crap for so long….AAARGH.
    Today’s stories require a double cute kittehs and free ice cream as well as the usual Scotch.

    • Ryan Denniston

      And sexxytimes.

      • Sharkey

        Too soon!

        • Ryan Denniston

          Fitting.

      • guppy06

        Ice cream and scotch can work well with sexxytimes (though perhaps not at the same time, because dairy + alcohol = no). Cute kittehs, not so much.

        (You think it’s bad when they chase feet under the sheets…)

    • Kat Anyperson

      Not even Kitty wants to be on this planet right now.
      Just in case you don’t already have this bookmarked-
      http://cuteoverload.com/

      • Logic of Color

        Oh great, now I have aNOTHer new favorite site

      • BadKitty904

        Given this past week’s news, as a Feline-American, I endorse this message.

      • dshwa

        Is that a Babylon 5 patch on that suit?

        • BadKitty904

          Kitty may be a spy for the Imperial Centauri Republic…

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Yeah I noticed that too.

          Per Bad Kitty below, definitely a Centauri vibe there!

          • dshwa

            Cats are clearly aligned with the Shadows though.

      • Blank Ron

        Ground Control to Major Mittens…

    • And Chinese food. Lots and lots of Chinese food.

    • Baby_Raptor

      Might I recommend emergencykitten.com ?

      • VirginiaLady

        Thanks.

  • SpaceCaptainWarlock

    It’s sort of despicable how quickly they jump to the defense of one of their own even when the offense is something like kid touching.

    • Zippy

      sort of?

    • jmk

      And by “sort of” you mean “absofuckinglutely completely,” right?

  • dslindc

    This must be the same magic Jesus who will fix the climate if everyone will just shut up about it.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Do you know what REALLY pissed the dirty fucking hippie off the most?

    Hypocrisy.

    Huckabee and all the defenders of the Duggars are wallowing in it.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Either that or Jeebus was a complete asshole. Separate stores for poor people to buy food indeed!

  • dslindc

    Maybe the Huckster has some cinnamon that will help Jesus fix it faster?

  • Swampgas_Man

    What’s the good of having Someone forgive you if you never do nothin’ to forgive?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Don’t laugh. This is what they tell kids about confession. You end up making shit up because the priest just wouldn’t believe you otherwise.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        True dat. My go-to’s were disobeying my parents and fighting with my brother, because how much evil can a ten-year-old do? (If you’re not a sociopath?)

      • BackDoorMan

        … I could never figure how to calculate how many lies I told since the previous confession if I had to include all the ones I was telling in this confession… I kept losing track.

  • Swampgas_Man

    Seems to me I remember something about the mote in your brother’s eye and the beam in your own, something in that Book Huckapoo likes so much.

    • Kat Anyperson

      True, but I don’t think Matthew took Dunning Kruger into account.

      If the beam is too big, that eye was gone on impact.

    • BackDoorMan

      … was that in red text? Because, you know, that means… “ignore”.

  • MrBlobfish

    Clinton got a blowjob.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, that settles that! Let’s move on now to how Obama is the secret leader of ISIL.

    • BackDoorMan

      … yeah, but it wasn’t from his underage sister, so… unforgivable.

  • Kat Anyperson

    lol… man.. and Poor Rachel Maddow’s Outrage-o-meter was already at apoplectic last night. XD

  • Bren

    Breaking Fox News: Huckabee rushes out reprint of his last book.

    • RecreationalPilot

      Mike’s follow-up book “Taint Misbehavin

  • MrBlobfish

    May I cast the first stone?

  • Hollywooddeed

    Glad to see someone is standing up for incestuous child molesters.

    • DemmeFatale

      And equating them with animal killers.
      (Animals, girls, what’s the diff?)

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Thought I’d never see it; a whole family who eats paste.

    • BadKitty904

      Or pretty much anything else, really.

    • Mintie

      Well, if your parents don’t tell you to stop doing it because they do it, and don’t send you to kindergarten because they think the teacher is going to indoctrinate you into a homosexual satanic cult . . .

      • Villago Delenda Est

        A homosexual satanic cult that encourages balanced meals, with sensible portions, and exercise.

        Yup, that’s Satan for you.

      • Logic of Color

        Neither Homosexuals nor Satanists fuck their siblings

        • JoeChristmas

          Or, worst of all, atheists!!1!

          • Logic of Color

            You know, I specifically recall not fucking my siblings.

          • Gil

            Well then, Jesus can’t forgive you for that. You’re SOL .

        • Mintie

          Pfftt. You and your fancy logic.

    • diogenez

      I thought it was an ad for a fat farm.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Sort of a Spock-With-A-Beard-Universe fat farm, one that helps you put on fat, not take it off.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Close. An ad for a fat fuck.

    • jmk

      It looks to me like a Portrait of the Descendants of Augustus Gloop…and every time I see it, I think of circus tents.

    • BackDoorMan

      … the paste being the dip for the lead paint chips.

  • Joseph

    They may have Jebus but if I catch one of them I’ll be going to hell with their testicles in my pocket. I may spend my summer scouting deep fried lard restaurants in Arkansas.

    • Mintie

      Ozark Mountain oysters, anyone?

    • Logic of Color

      “My favorite food is prepared in a deep fat frier. And I don’t even care what it is”

      –Trace Adkins (paraphrased)

  • JoeChristmas

    BUGGERGHAZI!!1!

    • bluejayray

      Excellent. Even more fun because their name is Duggar and it rhymes.

  • MrBlobfish

    Please, people! It was 12 long years ago. Everyone was molesting their sisters back then.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It was the style at the time. You know, like an onion on your belt.

      • SnarkOff

        Wait…the onion thing is no longer cool? [Glances down worriedly at outfit.]

        • GDleftyPart2

          It’s 2015…turnips man, turnips.

          • anniegetyerfun

            The memo that I got said “parsnips.”

          • tinker12

            Rutabagas.

          • Blank Ron

            Please, root vegetables are SO five minutes ago. It’s legumes for the with-it fashionista!

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            Well, that relieves my Doki Doki Panic.

        • bikerlaureate

          Fear not. It’s so retro it’s cool again.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Remember the Catholic priest who claimed he didn’t know molesting children was against the law?

  • Poly_Ester

    Now that you mention it, Josh looks like he could be trans. So the Duggar’s bigotry could be based on experiences within their family.

    • MOG253

      That would make a great episode.

    • bluejayray

      I wonder how many of their children were born gay. I feel sorry for them and hope they get out OK.

      • Donna Rail

        I figure at least four.

  • SnarkOff

    So, molesting one’s little sisters is totally OK. Posting a tweet showing the president with a noose around his neck, or calling him the N-word, also totally OK. Jesus would be so proud.

    • RecreationalPilot

      Not the Jesus I grew up with, but my parents weren’t TV hucksters and grifters.

      • BackDoorMan

        Hucksters and grifters and liars… oh my!
        Remember when The PTL Club with Jim and Tammy Faye was a big thing? Back in the early 80’s I referred to it as “the Pass The Loot club” in a radio script… almost got away with it too, if it hadn’t been for those meddling callers flooding the switchboard.

  • Baby_Raptor

    General Mills has made the decision to drop 19 Kids. Go hit up Twitter/Facebook and let them know they did the right thing. There’s a martyrbation shitstorm coming.

    • SnarkOff

      I kind of hate to give any cred to Corporate America for doing the right thing.

      • Baby_Raptor

        It’s a lesser evil than letting DuggarBots convince them that continuing to support bigoted, child molester hiding ass waffles is a good idea.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          You might be thinking of Kellogg’s. I don’t think General Mills makes ass waffles.

          • Blank Ron

            Leggo my Eggos!

    • bluejayray

      They were behind the bi-racial cheerios commercial that created such a racist shitstorm awhile back. (There was an excellent parody of it that came out featuring a bi-racial GAY couple! It was great.)

  • Ilgattomorte

    I’m an atheist, so if I molest my sister I can only say I’m sorry directly to her. Even if she forgives me, I’m not sure that it counts. Boy, not having an omnipotent, invisible middle-man really limits your options.

    • bluejayray

      That’s why it’s so much easier for atheists to do the right thing–simply because it’s the right thing to do.

      • tinker12

        Exactly! I don’t need religion because I have a conscience.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          If this story is any indication, having a religion means you don’t have to have a conscience.

        • bluejayray

          From what I’ve seen in my lifetime, religions get in the way of doing the right thing.

          • Blank Ron

            Not always, but all too often.

  • Poly_Ester

    So if Hitler had been an avowed Christian he would have been forgiven? Or at least gotten a Mulligan.

    • BeliTsari

      Actually, I think der Führer had Dr. Haase test the cyanide on Blondi, so being Catholic… he shot himself & his girlfriend? Some silly-ass shit like that? Some other guy shot her puppies. Nazis!

      • DemmeFatale

        Stop it with the dog killing! I can’t take anymore!
        (Crazy dog-lady.)

        • BadKitty904

          We crazy cat-guys stand with you in solidarity, sister! Enough vileness for one week!

          • BeliTsari

            You KNOW who else was crazy?

    • bluejayray

      He was a good christian. “Gott Mit Uns!” In Huckabee’s world, as long as Hitler said he was sorry then it would be all good with Jesus.

      • Toomush_Infer

        I’m sorry….were you speaking Mormon?….

        • bluejayray

          Actually it’s the rallying cry of all god-based, male-centric religions, and every football team, too. The gods seem to spend a great deal of time deciding the outcomes of sporting events. It’s a wonder they have any time left over for damning and smiting.

      • Toomush_Infer

        I’m sorry….were you speaking Mormon?….

    • FlownOver

      Gottdamn slice! I aim for Denmark and hit Poland!

      • badphairy

        Now ya gotta keep it!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Ah, but Hitler committed suicide, the one unforgivable sin. He really fucked that one up. If he’d let the allies catch him, he still would have died, but it would have been quick, and he could have repented at the last minute and spent all of eternity worshipping at God’s feet with all the pedophiles who repented at the last minute.

  • MOG253

    The quiverfull folks are all “boys will be boys”. No wonder Momma D made the girls wear denim sleeping bags for the first 6 years they were on TLC. She was trying to keep Josh “pure”.

    • Whollyholeyholy

      I have always fixated on that horrible look. Now I’m trying to feel bad.

      I’m coming up with nothing.

    • TheBidenator

      True, it’s a sick thing that amongst the quiverfull freaks they see nothing wrong with wedding a 15 year old girl to a 60 year old man because womens are only there for spitting out babies. The younger they are the more they can have…

  • bluejayray

    What’s really funny as all get out is that Jesus said nothing at all about gay people, but he had a whole lot to say about hypocrites and grifters like Huckabee and the Duggars.

    • Portia Elm

      Look over there®™
      nothing to see here…

      • gedjcj

        Where’s an SEP field when you need one

        • Portia Elm

          They are not fluent in bistromathics, obviously. Look over there®™ is taking them exactly nowhere.

        • Portia Elm

          they are not fluent in bistromathics–Look over there®™ is getting them exactly nowhere…

  • Bitter Scribe

    Jesus is big
    Jesus is strong
    Jesus’ll kill you if you don’t get along

    Jesus can swing
    Jesus has skills
    Go on and try it if you don’t believe he will

    –David Byrne, “U.B. Jesus”

  • Silence Is Golden

    Another, as if we needed another, good reason to never vote for you!

  • frrolfe

    The lamb shank redemption redemption

  • BillWestern

    Reading the posts and comments on RW religious sites, it is very clear that everyone in that community (subculture?) knew that young Master Duggar was a perv. And not a one of them said a damn thing.

    Ask me about the girls wavy hair…

    And Yer W please never show that pic of the Hucks again. Nightmares tonight.

  • Me not sure

    It’s a good thing that dog had mange or he might have been eaten on the spot.

    • RoyalUglyDude

      Don’t be so sure. Them’s some hungry hungry huckabees.

      • tinker12

        Huckster said he once cooked a possum in a popcorn popper. I am not making this up.

        • Kat Anyperson

          I reaaaally hope it was dead *before* it went in…

        • BadKitty904

          What alarms me most is that he’d admit that.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          That will give him the title for his next book: “Popcorn, Possum, Poop and Pedophilia.”

          • badphairy

            You…you went there. And it was glorious.

  • TheBidenator

    These people are why I’m agnostic to the point of being atheist….the god they think so hard must exist can’t possibly exist otherwise they’d have all felt wrath at some point or another. Because their sanctimonious asses continue to profit from their little fan club while being raging hypocrites and adhering to few of its rules I’m just going to go out on a limb and say the god of the bible can’t exist.

    • tinker12

      I always say that the bible couldn’t stand as evidence of anything in any court anywhere.

      • BackDoorMan

        … not even if you try the old “credo quia absurdum” defense.

      • Blank Ron

        How about proof of the existence of books in general?

    • BackDoorMan

      … something I have found useful when having to listen to sanctimonious self-righteous assholes go on ad nauseam about the superiority of “their God”… it usually stuns them into silence. At least for a few blessed moments.

    • Blank Ron

      Whether Yahweh/El exists or not is irrelevant. The god they claim to worship and follow is one they’ve made up to suit their psychopathic agenda and bears only superficial resemblance to the one found in that book they don’t seem to have read.

  • janecita

    That picture reminds me of this Soviet book I read as a kid, The Three Fat Men. If I remember correctly, they were as disgusting as the Huckabee family.

  • RecreationalPilot

    Huck’s new book “Taint Misbehavin

  • D_C_Wilson

    That photo always make me think they must have a couch and love seat comb made of human skin.

  • Duke

    The whole thing makes me feel sick

    • Donna Rail

      You are correct.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Well, it’s not like he was a 12 year old with a toy gun. Jeez, have some perspective.

  • John

    What’s the polite way to say “fuck you Mike Huckabee and fuck your evil vile, pieces of shit Christian friends”

    Could someone help me find the right phrasing for that? I seem to be at a loss for words on all of this.

    Thanks!

    • ExRepug

      Ooh, ooh — I got one! How about this one? “Fuck you Mike Huckabee and fuck your evil vile, pieces of shit Christian friends.” The verbiage seems to capture just the right sentiment.

      • Toomush_Infer

        Can we alter it to “pseudo-Christian friends”?….there are some lovely old ladies, friends of mine, whose Christian beliefs are truly endearing….

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Rabbit ears work too in separating the wheat from the chaff.

    • sweetiepie317

      John, your phrasing is spot on just as it appears. Or as my husband often says, you have called “a spade a fucking shovel!”

    • Whale Chowder

      Hm, I’m no southerner but I think it might go something like this:

      “Mike, you and your pious friends might want to take a moment to reconsider your position here.

      Bless your heart.”

    • fuzzwald

      Just say it with Christian Love. That will work.

  • Marie Shannon

    Well, and because their system obviously works. It is not his sin I hate so much as his upbringing that handles this with hypocrisy and hate.

  • TootsStansbury

    Dog murdering, sister diddling; aren’t these precursor behaviors for serial killers? Fucking cultists.

    • Bren

      Isn’t sister diddling a way of life in Huckabee’s southern states?

      • Vienna Woods

        “making flowers” – ayup

    • freakishlystrong

      You’ve described “conservatives”. Now, if only the fucking national media would take a fucking page already.

  • Paperless Tiger

    3 Kids and Counting but They Eat Like 19.

  • malsperanza

    “Good people make mistakes”

    Dear Mr. Huckabee, if your definition of good people includes child molesters and the people who protect them and profit from them, you might want to reconsider that.

    Alsotoo: while your loyalty to friends is admirable, your chance of becoming president just sank from zero to hahahahahahahahahahaha, which is one notch lower than Herman Cain.

    • BadKitty904

      ALL people make mistakes, Huckster – you might want to consider that whilst you’re busy passing judgment and casting first stones.

  • sick of the ignorance

    This smacks of the “entitlement” of men, especially men who hide behind their religions and damn others as just not as righteous and holy as they are, that they are different and not subject to the rules. Huckabee hides his ugly family crap and then damns others which is the same as the Duggars. They are hypocrites.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Huckacrites?….

    • Querolous

      Hippo-crites??

    • fuzzwald

      Yeah, an overblown sense of entitlement is a huge component in this pathology. I suspect that fundie world is a perpetrator assembly line of sorts.

  • Bill T.

    I hope this sticks to Huckabee like a used condom on a work boot.

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      “… like a used condom on a work boot.”
      I’m going to steal that phrase.

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      “… like a used condom on a work boot.”
      I’m going to steal that phrase.

      • Bill T.

        Thou canst not steal what thou has been given freely. Take ye and repeat.

      • Bill T.

        Thou canst not steal what thou has been given freely. Take ye and repeat.

    • toomanyrappers

      Wasn’t that an episode of Dirty Jobs? ;)

      • Bill T.

        A dirty job is having to clean the Duggar daughters’ bedroom.

  • Ellis_Weiner

    That photo offers more proof that vertical stripes aren’t as slimming as we had previously supposed.

  • dshwa

    My +2 Rusty Garden Weasel of Votes is going to worn out by the end of the day.

  • radsenior

    Mike Huckabee sucks canal water – cause he can’t walk on it no matter how many times he tries!

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    ‘inexcusable,’ but that doesn’t mean ‘unforgivable.’

    Erm, Huckybaby, you are precisely excusing his behavior. Absolutely 100% excusing the behavior of an admitted incestuous child molester.
    Just thought you’d like to know.

    OHHH and edit: Good people make mistakes and do regrettable and even disgusting things.
    No, Hucky, good people make mistakes, but good people do NOT do disgusting things. That would make them not good people, see.

    • JAWs

      Also when Good People make mistakes they are willing take responsibility for those mistakes and be held accountable for them.

  • ExRepug

    Okay, maybe someone can explain this “they were honest and open about it with the authorities” part to me. It’s my understanding that Jim Bob and Michele sent him off to some kinda rehab involving remodeling houses and when he returned they wouldn’t let the police talk to their son, so I’m a tad bit confused how this honesty and openness with authorities model operates.

    • They were so honest and open that we’re only hearing about it 13 years later.

    • They told “the authorities”, if the authorities mean that one deputy who was later busted for ALL THE KIDDIE PR0N.

    • Lancelot Link

      “They were honest and open about it with the authorities” after the Statute of Limitations ran out.

  • ExRepug

    Can we assume Huck has the same loving support for Bill O’Reilly? Bill deserves forgiveness for wife draggin’ ’cause he loves Jesus, too.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      O’Reilly isn’t actually a “Christian” as Huckabee defines them. Papists don’t count. They’re practically Hindus.

  • leadingedgeboomer

    Huckabee was and is never actually running for president. In this round, his visibility has waned and he needs publicity to hype his next books to his evangelical righty disciples, and improve his brand for more lucrative contracts with Fox News.

    But he has now disproved the adage that “there is no such thing as bad publicity.” His “campaign” boat has taken a fatal hole-punching hit—from the inside.

    • zerosumgame0005

      sticking up for a kiddie-diddler will sure boost his visibility…

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Same with Ben Carson. He’s not running for president. He’s auditioning for Fox News.

      • Blank Ron

        He needs a better makeup artist, unless he’s trying out for Token Negro.

        • badphairy

          Boehner has three and poor Carson doesn’t have any.

    • Politics_Nerd

      It had to happen some time. The GOP primary season clown car act has barely gotten started, tho… :::sadface:::

  • chascates

    Huckabee could have had an incredible reality show: “Pious Southerns Try To Lose Weight, Learn Fashion Rules”.

    • BackDoorMan

      … spoiler alert: they fail on all three.

  • Pontificate

    Fucking hypocrites. This is why I intensely dislike republicans and “christians”. Fucking hypocrites.

  • Goposaur

    Duggar is a kiddy diddler, and Huckabee wants to protect him?

    • LeftCoastLeftie

      “Give us your poor, your tired, your dog-murderers, your kiddy diddlers, and your diabetics — we’ll take everyone’s money.”

  • texasace00

    Well, I’m hitting them pretty hard at Fartbart, more have joined the chorus…Seems what we have here is a Teabagger candle burning Jesus-in for support, plus hey “If Bill Clinton did it, then why are we dragging this Duggar kid through the mud?” Yep, 9 out of 10 wingnutz don’t have a problem at all with molesting ur sis…are we not entertained?

    • How do you even get so fucking crazy that you’re willing to defend a child molester? You would think that would be a bridge too far, but I guess not.

      • Politics_Nerd

        Part and parcel of being that Conservative Crazy is the Living In Denial Of The Facts, and putting whatever nutjob beliefs you have as truth before your own eyes. This is why I think fundamentalism causes brain damage. You live like that long enough and you simply lose the ability to actually think like a normal person.

    • ryp

      I haven’t gone to Breitbart, but I did drop in at freerepublic to see how they were taking the news. Surprisingly, not a lot of patience for excuses there. Breitbart must really have declined if they’ve lost the freepers.

    • Enfant Terrible

      “If Bill Clinton did it”

      with a consenting adult. The concept of “consent” is completely opaque to wingnuts.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    So, evidence of molestation often suggests similar actions occurring earlier against the molester by a friend or family member, and torturing and killing small animals is a warning sign of sociopathy, but Da Huck can just forgive and forget because he’s that kind of Christian.

  • Helena Handbag

    Christianity is a cloak worn by those with something to hide.
    Edit: make that RELIGION is a cloak…

    • Politics_Nerd

      The Bible instructs (Matt 6:5) people not to wear their religion on their sleeve, and says people who do this are not going to Heaven because they have already gotten everything out of such displays here on Satan’s Playground as they deserve. That and they’re probably hiding something….

  • VandeGraf

    So, it’s okay to publicly sensationalize their religion, but when they have some nastiness, that’s personal and water under the dam? I absolutely agree that the entire family should not be tarred with the same brush (They are probably not all Friggin Perverts!) because one of the boys “made a mistake” and committed criminal acts (multiple, numerous, lewd, lascivious) for which he was not legally punished. However, the whoopee yahoo awesomeness of the family religion is something that had either withstand seriously detailed scrutiny, or be summarily dumped in the trashcan as rancid consumer fare.

  • jviscont1

    forget the diabetes scam Huck, as selling indulgences seems to have a built in market.

  • Pinball or Submission

    Don’t forget that Huckabee was governor of Arkansas at the time these crimes were swept under the rug, in Arkansas. Did the governor’s office have a hand in the cover-up? As always, it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  • nycmcmike

    That’s it, I’m done. I will never refer to myself as a Christian again. The hypocrisy coming from these people is sickening especially how they’re defending this child molester and are still trying to demonize gay people.

    • PeedroPaula54

      It was Christians, not Satan, who drove me away from Christianity.

      • If there were an afterlife, Jesus, Muhammad and Buddha would all be hiding from their fanclubs in a secluded corner of it.

        • Me not sure

          Moses sits in for poker night.

        • Me not sure

          Moses sits in for poker night.

          • guppy06

            Nobody trusts him to be the banker in Monopoly.

          • Blank Ron

            Ouch

            Then again, the only time they let Jesus do it he overturned the games table.

      • Politics_Nerd

        Don’t be so sure. ALL these modern-day pharisees are anti-Christs and (accidental) Satanists, whether they know it or not. Precisely for this very reason. I try not to let the outspoken false prophets drown out the Grace. Forgive them, Father, etc. ;)

        • Blank Ron

          Hmm. So far all the Satanists I’ve come across have been pretty decent people, and walk the walk that most self-styled ‘Christians’ only talk.

    • Politics_Nerd

      Try to keep in mind that the outspoken minority do NOT speak for Him. False prophets, etc. I also have to swallow a knot when I just say “Jesus” or “Christian”, especially when referring to myself. I learned that His real name isn’t Jesus anyway. Yeshua, His name in Hebrew, actually translates to “Joshua”, not “Jesus”. Although “Joshuan” doesn’t really roll off the tongue, either

    • grandma jones

      I am starting to thinki the same thing about Christianity. Maybe it’s just insanity.

  • nycmcmike

    That’s it, I’m done. I will never refer to myself as a Christian again. The hypocrisy coming from these people is sickening especially how they’re defending this child molester and are still trying to demonize gay people.

  • sillyclucker

    If that dog had asked forgiveness for having mange, he’d be alive today.

  • Joshua Norton

    Don’t laugh. Mike Huckabee has outmaneuvered the other candidates and totally sewn up the white male Christian child molester vote. That’s a huge segment of right wing voters.

    • PeedroPaula54

      *gigglesnort*

    • freakishlystrong

      Pretty much the vaunted Republican “Base”.

  • ThePuckStopsHere

    Where was the father when this was going on, hengh? Oh, right. The very next room. Fuck Huck.

  • SK

    Disappointed. I thought this article was going to discuss the weird trick by Fuckabee that would unmolest the Duggarinas.

    I’d have donated the $19.95 to Josh.

  • Alex Grey

    Yep, just a felony sex assault mistake. Nothing to worry about, kind of like illegitimate rape…

    • Politics_Nerd

      The whore Huckabee children were clearly asking for it. Why did these sluts fall asleep with Huckaboys in the house? AHA! Gotcha, you little skanks.

      • Alex Grey

        They were clearly asking for it…

  • Pugsandcoffee

    You know, I keep thinking the day is going to come when I’ll actually feel sorry for one of these rabidly religious asshats getting caught doing what they advocate against…but nope! It’s still funny (and sad, but mostly funny!). GOOD RIDDANCE.

  • Politics_Nerd

    How many prostitutes and/or homeless people has David Huckabee tortured and killed since the Dog Incident? What is Mike Huckabee hiding, and why won’t he answer these Serious Allegations regarding his son the serial killer?

    EDIT: Forgot the linkie:

    https://www.animallaw.info/article/link-cruelty-animals-and-violance-towards-people

  • intlet9949

    Huckabee translated….”You leave my pedophile friend alone!”

  • gr8risrael

    Fuck-a-Huck will never make it as president.

  • Ranina

    This picture is beautifully symbolic: The females wearing red (we all know what that means) and the obese males are wearing vertical stripes in the belief that it will disguise their proclivities (also a foreshadowing of prison.) The dog is smiling because it is well-fed and therefore not in danger of being executed.

  • guppy06

    Good people make mistakes and do regrettable and even disgusting things.

    Though he’s no Rick Perry, Governor Huckabee has executed 16 people.

  • guppy06

    and David eventually became an Eagle Scout

    Hey, it’s not like he was gay or anything.

    • Incoming Ham

      Charles Whitman was an Eagle Scout.

  • Rickyphoo

    Mr. Huckabee, if the Daggars weren’t such fucking hypocrites we probably wouldn’t be so happy that this “long ago sin” has come to light. However, when mean people like the Duggars, (and I am sorry, but they are not “good” people), step on their own dicks one can not help but laugh at them. Their one claim to fame and their reason to act all superior to everyone else is the mom has a vagina that can shoot babies out like a machine gun.

    And as an added bonus, it is enjoyable to see TLC, whose producers scrape the bottom of the trashcan for new shows, with egg on their faces yet again.

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    Saaay, you know who *else* tortured a dog while on vacation?

    • badphairy

      *snerk*

    • Socialist Cubone

      Michael Vick?

    • Lynn

      Romney?

  • Goposaur

    fuck him and his panty sniffing kiddy diddling rapist BFF

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Hucksterbee is taking a pounding from his own Fessesbook fans. Welcome back to the real world, people. Just don’t fall for the next phony, ‘kay?

    http://www.rawstory.com/2015/05/mike-huckabees-facebook-fans-tear-him-to-shreds-for-defending-josh-duggar/

    • Politics_Nerd

      was just about to post this. :)

  • Joseph

    There is more bio-mass in the Huckabee family than in the entire state of Arkansas.

    • Amanda Stockham

      I think someone might want to remind Huckabee that “glutony” is a DEADLY SIN for a reason. It kills you…and you’re eating more food than you need while others starve or eat out of garbage cans.

  • laugh or retch

    Duggar gets a pass on being a registered sex offender for the rest of his life because … Jesus. Must be one of those “strongly held religious beliefs” to shield child molesters. How *special*.

    • white_day_black_river

      Not all children who commit sex crimes are on the list for life:
      http://www.texasobserver.org/observer-subject-josh-gravens-taken-off-public-sex-offender-registry/

      • grandma jones

        No but they don’t go around accusing the LGBT community of being child molesters when they are guilty of the crime themselves.

        • white_day_black_river

          Fair point.

    • grandma jones

      No they failed to report it in a timely manner and the statute of limitations ran out. Plus Josh was a minor at the time and the statute of limitations have gray areas.

  • Politics_Nerd

    Was the stray dog that Michael Huckabee hung up to die (lynched) black, I wonder? #justaskin

    • cleos_mom

      No; but it was carrying a toy gun he absolutely believed was real.

  • RoseFlorida

    “we are all sinners” and “need His grace and His forgiveness” may be true, but people are tired of what appears to be a formula. And it is not just for “family values”. There is something about the human character – maybe if you feel guilty about something you need to shout out your opinions to everyone else to hide something from yourself.
    We see it again and again. Sure, the politicians who talk about family values while hanging around public toilets or chasing young interns, but also those who talk about raising everybody’s taxes while cheating on their own, or fighting for more public and affordable housing while going through contortions to illegally hang onto an apartment in which the rent was set in the sixties. Talk about bombing here or there while they make sure their own children are not in the military. Decry the role of money in politics while raising as much cash as possible from foreign donors eager to influence US policy. The most selfish person I know is a relative who always accuses others of being greedy and selfish.

    I don’t think that a family with 19 children has to have Jesus in order to stop any of the children from becoming a molester. I certainly think that anyone who has a despicable sin in their history could find the way to deal with it in Jesus. But live your life and shut up about it, most of the people around you have sins, but they are not as bad as the one you are living with.

    • white_day_black_river

      That’s a pretty amazing summation.

  • Chris F*ing Christie

    No, this Is HuckaBuck trippling down on bad parenting.
    These Arkansas hillbillies make my kids look like saints.
    #smh

  • OTamandua

    Weird. Oprah Winfrey, billionaire since 2003, allegedly had the Duggars at her Chicago Harpo studio, just ready for a taping at 6:30 AM (not making this up), December 7th, 2006, but got a tip about the Dugger boy’s molestation record. She/they canceled the interview and called a child abuse hotline…and then said nothing further.

    And about 21 months later, on September 29th, 2008, the first episode of “17 kids and counting” aired, eventually making the Duggars household names…until we learn of all this 7 years later making them even bigger names.

    Something is very strange about all this.

    • grandma jones

      Nope — it’s been out on then internet for years. Television without Pity. Duggars without Pity. I don’t know who thought of contacting the media to print the police report. I don’t think this is the publicity the Duggars want. They are going to lose money and prestige over this.

    • Amanda Stockham

      Not really. Obama and Oprah are pretty tight and have been for years. I lived in Illinois during his senator days and…lol he was NOTHING to write home about. Cocaine, homosexual cowboy western themed gay bars, 3 of his gay lovers were killed before the 2008 election, the white one ran to Duluth, MN to keep from getting killed lol, he is into pedophilia… Oprah is IN this already. I don’t know where that broke out into news or the blogosphere…that Oprah called the child abuse hotline but please…she has children she doesn’t even associate with and all sorts of messed up crap in her closet. I don’t believe for a second she reported them to the police but had NOTHING to say when 3 black lovers of Obama’s all ended up DEAD in close time frame….who all happened to be a part of Reverend Wright’s DL club that he runs out of the basement of his church. Lol

  • Priest Apostate

    Personally, I’m surprised that they didn’t use the “if it wasn’t a
    legitimate molestation, then the body has ways of shutting it down”
    defense…

  • paisa71

    If Josh had been of a different demographic, he would have been tried as an adult and sentenced to multiple consecutive terms.

    It’s like everyone around that family is some sort of abuser.

    — The trooper to whom the report was given did not investigate the allegations; subsequently (in a separate case) that officer was himself charged and convicted on counts related to childpornography.

    — The pastor that ran the clinic where Josh was sent to deal with his “issues” was accused by 30 young women and teenagers who came forward claiming they were sexually harassed.

    — Huckabee appointed the judge that ordered the police file destroyed and is the first to come to their defense. Let me reiterate, the record wasn’t sealed or expunged. It was destroyed.

    — And of course the parents that covered it up.

    It’s like the state is overrun by a pedophile cult. But that is okay. Apparently, all good conservative religious fundamentalists know that incestuous pedophilia with multiple victims over the course of several years is okay with god if you just pray for forgiveness and devote your life to casting stones at gays.

    • mo_dem

      “It’s like the state is overrun by a pedophile cult.” Uuummmmmm, this is Arkansas. You’re aware of that…right?

    • Amanda Stockham

      yeah…it IS run by a pedophile cult. That is exactly who ran it for decades…Bill and Hillary Clinton. They have a CIA protected, CIA RUN child sex trafficking ring but they also sell OTHER vices out of their trunks. Including cocaine. HUGE seller in Arkansas in the 70s and 80s! If you looked at any of the WikiLeaks emails one of them Hillary tried to invite her Islamic, Muslim Brotherhood staffer Huma Abedin, to her house in New York state to chillax with her that weekend while she sacrificed a “chicken” (now Pizzagate says this is a small male child…but so does “hot dogs” so, who knows…) to Moloch in her back yard for hell’s sake.

      Lol yeah…that is EXACTLY what Arkansas IS. NO “like” about it.

  • elpinche

    Huckabee seems to be digging himself a hole considering he appointed that judge who swept the crime under the rug a decade ago. Smells like a cover up.

  • sandan

    The three guys in the striped out fits look like they’re about to enter a “Whose the Fattest Family in the World” contest. Can you imagine any one of these Heroes serving in our military? Now Rev. Mike Pluck a Flea might make a mediocre unit Clerk, otherwise, he would do Great as a Latrine-Boy!

    • docdonn

      Veritical stripes are slimming… whatever you do, don’t look at this picture sideways!

      • fredoandme

        horrors! the onliest way i CAN look at them is sideways.

        • Larry Larson

          try crosseyed

    • Amanda Stockham

      It is odd that people on the left make HUGE deals out of fat shaming when it happens to women but when a moron GOPer says something stupid and morally repugnant…y’all are the first people to start name calling and picking on EVERY flaw someone has. If you think that is going to help nudge Christians into ostracizing those idiots…you’re wrong. No Christian will condone what they’ve done, and we all believe in redemption but we don’t hand out forgiveness either. Acting like Huckabee saying it means that we have any authority to condone OR condemn is giving people WAY too much power. One of the most notable 2 occurrences in the Bible for ME were when Christ walked into the temple where the money changers were hangin out and conducting business…on the Sabbath. Jesus went NUCLEAR on them and was yelling and flipping the money changers tables over. SO…people who think Christians never get angry or have NO reason to and should ALWAYS “turn the other cheek” maaaay want to sit down with a Bible at some point in their life. Then the second one….really clear cut on where Christ comes down on “harming children”. He pretty much tells them they’d be better off DEAD than they would be if He (Christ) got His hands on them. I believe the actual verse says “But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.”…yeah that is the New Testament…Matthew 18:6. Christ doesn’t mess about with those 2 sins in particular. So Huckabee can say that and stand there preaching forgiveness but, he’s going to have a hellova shock when Jesus touches his arse and takes his soul to HELL for molesting a child and the other kid for killing a defenseless animal.

      Anyone speaking FOR Christ or God Almighty isn’t speaking with God’s authority if they are condoning or handing out “passes” on sins against children and harmless animals. He should have sat there with that idiotic grin on his face and said he was gonna pray for their souls instead of acing like he knows God’s will and mind….and that God’s mind and will would be to forgive them.

      Where much is given…much is required. Christians who KNOW better and were raised in Christ have a higher responsibility to NOT fall into sin, abuse, or anything else. It is damn near impossible for some but, it doesn’t change that the people who “know better” will be held to a different standard than those who “never knew” God in this life.

  • Andrea_Rae

    Evangelicals are mentally diseased

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  • BelligerentBruncher

    Can we at least just agree that all child molesters are bad people and stop giving those a pass if they have the same political party (or religion) as we do?

    This goes for Duggar. And for Lena Dunham and ALL child molesters.

  • Karie Ryan Ordway

    This article nails it. Huckabee is deperately trying to deflect the focus away from the continued character assassination of the LGBT community. Duggar was only too happy to put himself front and center, (and get paid for it as his job) all the while knowing he was living a lie and had done the very crime he ascribed to others. His parents, his church, and his family continue to villify a group of people of imagined crimes because they don’t like their sexual orientation. Duggar projected his own crimes on to others and Huckabee is projecting an image of Duggar as victim from people who will not be redirected. Christians can forgive Duggar and praise Jesus all they want. They can spin this as a real prodigal son story. The fact remains that the Duggars and Huckabee and all the other Christians who support them are still knowingly and willingly engaged in slandering a group of people with unsupported accusations of sexual crimes . Exactly who is the blood-thirsty crowd in this story? Sickens me.

  • The Duggers, Huckabees, what a bunch of hypocrites. But, it’s much more disgusting than that. They make millions by encouraging hate of others and claiming to be spokespeople for God.

  • Paul Duca

    Far more of the wingnuts are denouncing Huckabee and the Duggars…

  • GarlandRemington

    Huckabee is 100 pct correct!!!

  • Cowpocalypse_Now

    Glass houses + stones…

  • snowlover09

    Seriously Huckabee, most serial killers start out killing animals, you think this is OK? Josh should have been prosecuted and since they did such a good cover up the Duggars should be cancelled. There are plenty of good people to watch on TV.

  • joseph ferrante

    Sure Mike he made a mistake a BIG mistake

  • Lizz Huie-Fulks

    Huckabee, I am ashamed that you are from Arkansas. To think you are throwing support to a family who allowed their son to molest their daughters over a course of 3 years is disgusting. I won’t be voting for you!

    • Amanda Stockham

      …who ever really has? Just…I think about this all of the time. Who the HELL is voting for Huckabee, McCain, Maxine Waters, Diane Feinstein, Sheila Jackson Lee, Mitch McConnell, Harry Reid (he retired finally!), Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren, Orrin Hatch, Cummings, Hillary, Bill…these people need to GO away.

      When the hell are Americans going to do something about term limits?!

  • Laura Sehkzy

    I think we’re conflating Mike’s actions with his son’s. What his son did is definitely fucked up, but a dad using his influence to protect his son from his own mistakes and trying to downplay his flaws? Sounds pretty normal. It’s easy to say that the right thing for Mike to do is to publicly condemn David like he would if it were anyone else, but the truth is that there’s very little a parent wouldn’t do for their child. Really, if he had been harsh and unforgiving about his son, people would just accuse him of being a hypocrite about family loyalty.

    • cleos_mom

      Torturing and killing an animal is beyond “definitely fucked up”; it’s a serial killer’s dress rehearsal. Rationalizing that away would take more than a pointed use of first names.

    • EmmettGrogan

      Torturing and murdering animals is pretty much one of the first signs of being a psychopath and/or serial killer. The child usually does this behavior because of how he has been raised, so, yeah, it pretty much reflects on Huckabee’s parenting skills and his own mental health. While it might be “normal” to protect your child from their own mistakes, it’s bad parenting. Period. Decent, reasonable, ethical people, who really do love their kids, want them to do well so they don’t protect them from their own mistakes, they teach them better behavior.

  • BC1335

    Hey, ya’ll, it was girls he molested, not boys. Somewhere in the Bible, I don’t exactly know where, it clearly tells us that to molest a girl is nowhere as bad as molesting a boy. Hallelujah!

  • Carol

    Old Mike’s son David sounds like a evil doer that needs to come down South & get his Azz kicked for killing an innocent animal…I bet these bunch of molesters, animal abusers, liers, hyprocrites give themselves high fives for their backwards accomplishments on hurting innocent lives…This one really Blows…
    Rabid animals in Arkansa…

  • Amanda Stockham

    What about the folks that believe in nothing and no one…call themselves atheists, then molest continuously….and eventually MARRY their adopted daughters.

    I think the left is going to have to just call a stalemate on this one. Weinstein, Sheen, Cosby, Louis C.K., Kevin Spacey, Chris Tucker, Jeffrey Epstein, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Ruth Markus (deputy editor of the Washington Post who was invited to a “pool party” where 3 young grandchildren of Tamera Luzzatto were being offered for “entertainment” at a “Podesta Pool Party”… P.S. Tamera Luzzatto works for the Pew Charitable Trust…puking yet?), Ruth’s husband Jon Leibowitz who works for the Federal Trade Commission (yeah, if anyone wonders why there hasn’t been a crack down on child SEX TRADE in this country, it is because the guy that runs the office is A PEDOPHILE…), James Alefantis, John & Mary Podesta, Tony Podesta, StratFor (the company that made a website so people could buy their “pizza” with CREDIT CARDS on the internet….pizza meaning young children…cheese pizza is a girl…are you puking now?), Kline still works in

    https://disobedientmedia.com/2017/01/tech-figure-in-dot-com-child-sex-scandal-was-a-clinton-global-initiative-member/

    https://disobedientmedia.com/2017/01/pedowood-the-hollywood-complex-at-the-heart-of-a-celebrity-child-sex-ring/

    https://disobedientmedia.com/2017/10/additional-weinstein-company-revelations-point-to-wider-culture-of-abuse/

    https://disobedientmedia.com/2017/11/kevin-spacey-accused-of-attempting-to-rape-an-additional-14-year-old-victim/

  • Squeegee

    Someone must have told them that striped shirts can be thinning

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