His brain is broken.

Ben Carson made a Dumb again! He was trying and failing, like so many other Republican candidates before him, to answer the question, “would you have invaded Iraq?” To his credit, he said it was a mistake! But he said he would have gotten rid of Saddam Hussein anyway. How? He would use WAYS:

“I’ve said definitively that I was never in favor of going into Iraq,” Carson told The Hill in a phone interview, noting that he has previously addressed the matter in some of his books. “And since we did go in, the big problem is that we didn’t secure victory there, and that’s a huge problem.”

“I would have gotten rid of the problem of Saddam Hussein some other way,” he continued. “When you go into a situation with so many factions and such a complex history, unless you know what you’re doing or have a long-term strategy, it just creates more problems.”

When pressed on how the U.S. should have toppled Hussein without sending troops into the country, Carson said that “there are a lot of ways to get rid of people.”

Ooh, maybe because he is the world’s best brain surgeon, he could have gone in with his scalpel and renovated Saddam’s brain, so that he wouldn’t be such a baddie anymore. Or maybe Carson is talking about those “ways” we aren’t supposed to know about, where the CIA goes in in the black of night and kills people and makes it look like an accident, ALLEGEDLY.

But don’t think that’s the only war Dr. President Ben Carson could have avoided, with “ways.” He didn’t even want to go into Afghanistan after 9/11, because obviously he does not love America. No More Mister Nice Blog points us to an article from Tucker Carlson’s Internet Home For Transgender Bathroom Panic, detailing how Carson told George W. Bush that invading Afghanistan would be really dumb, and if only Bush would be a statesman like John F. Kennedy (and Ben Carson, obviously), we could have Jedi mind-tricked all the Ay-rabs into handing us bin Laden and stopping terrorism forever, because that is a thing that makes sense:

“I actually wrote President Bush a letter before the war started and I said, you know, what I would do is I would use the bully pulpit at this moment of great national unity and, very much in a Kennedy-esque type fashion, say within 10 years we’re going to become petroleum independent,” Carson told TheDC.

“And that would’ve been much more effective than going to war because, first of all, the moderate Arab states would’ve been terrified. And they would’ve handed over Osama Bin Laden and anybody else we wanted on a silver platter to keep us from doing that.”

“They” would have handed him over on a silver platter, because all the Ay-rab states were holding him at the time, obviously. Somewhere in a cave in Afghanistan. But Carson is right, he would have just turned on some of his Kennedy magic, which, to remind Wonkers, looks just like this:


What about Vietnam? Could Carson have saved us from Vietnam by being like Kennedy again? OF COURSE! Because yeah, we were all about fighting communism in those days, but some people LOVE communism, therefore we should just let them be. Carson said this in his book America The Beautiful, which you all read on the beach every summer:

In the case of Vietnam, we were trying to stop the spread of communism, which seems like a noble cause to those who hate communism. However, many people love communism, and certainly everyone should have the right to live under the system of their choosing.

Ben Carson: Hurray For Communism! Somehow we don’t think that he is going to adopt that slogan, but it would be funny if every other Republican 2016 hopeful did.

[The Hill /Daily Caller via No More Mister Nice Blog]

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  • Callyson
  • coozledad

    We know he wouldn’t have bitten Saddam.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    “Very much in a Kennedy-esque type fashion” is an expression very much in a Palin-esque type word salad.”

  • whatwhomever

    I’m surprised Bush invaded Iraq after receiving a letter from Ben Carson telling him not to.

  • LarryHoudini

    I say, if Ben Carson can be president, then zombie President Kennedy can be a brain surgeon! Which is to say that neither will ever happen.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall


  • lucidamente

    A lone gunman in the Texas School Book Depository of derp.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Shut the fuck up, Ben.

    Just shut the fuck up.

  • BearGHAZI

    without my glasses I read ‘transgender bathroom picnic.’ good times!

    • deanbooth

      We always had problems with the aunts.

    • Zippy

      I’d stay away from the hotdogs- you don’t know where they’ve been

      • Wee Mousie

        Or, who…er…”cooked” them.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Seriously, you could come out and state that if we needed to take out Saddam or bin Laden, there are more subtle, less expensive, less overkill ways of doing so. You know, like the way Obama actually directed the military to do, in the case of bin Laden. Which the deserting coward seemed to want to avoid doing, period, for fear of somehow offending his best buddies in the Bandit House of Saud.

    But that does not play to the bloodlust of the GOP base, so it’s a no go. A “law enforcement” solution is just not good enough. They want red meat dripping with blood, and by gosh, those seeking their favor will deliver red meat dripping with blood.

  • BearGHAZI

    Narcolepsy, or just bored by his own genius?

    • SK

      or just bored by his own penis

      LOL, that’s… oh wait, you said genius, didn’t you?

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    He did not need to go into the communism is A-OK thing to ensure that he will never, in a bajillion years, get his party’s nod.

  • cousin itt

    Ben does brain surgery because he needs one.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Christ, what an asshole.

    If i ever need brain surgery, pls remind me NOT to book this moron.

    • SK

      But what if he needed brain surgery? What then? Will you perform it or still stick to your principles?

      • chiefkurtz
        • Villago Delenda Est

          “Brain and brain, what is brain?”

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Well, I am pretty handy with tools.

        Give me a nice sharp stick, and I’ll take a stab at it :)

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I’ve got your better choice for brain surgery right here:

  • Spotts1701

    He has WAYS people! He knows things!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      And he can’t share them with us or it will spoil the surprise!

      • Bitter Scribe

        The surprise of finding out that he’s got nothin’.

        • marxalot


      • mardam422

        Like Nixon’s secret plan to end the Vietnam War.

        • Zippy

          or McCain’s plan to get Osama

  • geoffalnutt

    Mind rays! He’d do it with mind rays! Why didn’t I think of that?! He is, indeed, the absolute nemesis!!

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Would there be a copy of this letter he sent to Dubya?

    • Shibusa

      Dr. Carson gave W a piece of his mind. (A large piece, apparently.)

      • Virginia Dreaming

        A mind is a terrible thing to waste. (And unfortunately Shrub is an expert at wasting minds.)

      • Wee Mousie

        Any amount was too much, obviously.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    The Bay of Pigs went well, I hear….

  • whitroth

    But there *are* other ways. For example, we could have sent him an exploding cigar, like they did Castro….

    mark “wish I was joking”

    • marxalot

      LSD in his toothpaste. And underpants. And all over the steering wheel. Because LSD. Man, back when the CIA was just pushing drugs, you know?

      • Whale Chowder

        You mean the ’90s?

  • Bitter Scribe

    From what I understand, to keep the Republican presidential debates manageable, Fox, CNN, etc. are thinking of limiting them to the top 10 in the polls. I really, really hope this guy makes the cut. Think of the comedy potential.

    • CalvinianChoice

      And don’t forget the Donald. And Piyush Jindal yapping at the door demanding he be let in.

    • Virginia Dreaming

      Maybe they could have two divisions. The top 4-5 in each division get to debate for the championship. That way everyone of them gets a chance to show off their derpitude.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Too much like the Premiere League. Too British.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          Can we just thunderdome the lot of them and whomever walks out more or less in tact we can declare the winner?
          until they lose to Hilary of course.
          That sounds murrican

          • Bitter Scribe

            Only if you get Tina Turner to run the place.

          • bozilingus

            Let them fight it out “Texas Biker Gang” style.

        • Virginia Dreaming

          Shh. We’ll tell them it is more like SEC football. That includes violence and cheating so they’ll love it.

    • Wee Mousie

      The GOP Goat Rodeo Pre-Seaon Finals. First they hold state debates, then regional debates, and then the final ten get together for a real old-fashioned donnybrook. Blood, snot and fecal matter everywhere!

      • Whale Chowder

        But please, no Santorum.

  • Angry_Cop

    “I actually wrote President Bush a letter before the war started and I said, you know, what I would do is I would use the bully pulpit at this moment of great national unity and, very much in a Kennedy-esque type fashion, say within 10 years we’re going to become petroleum independent,” Carson told TheDC.

    “And that would’ve been much more effective than going to war because, first of all, the moderate Arab states would’ve been terrified. And they would’ve handed over Osama Bin Laden and anybody else we wanted on a silver platter to keep us from doing that.”

    1. This was a far better plan than what ended up happening.
    2. He’s not wrong.
    3. He will never be president.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They actually did offer an offer that could not be refused, and it was refused.

      The failure to respect your adversary is one of the hallmarks of GOP stupidity.

  • Virginia Dreaming

    Has anyone checked him for beta-amyloid plaques?

    • CalvinianChoice

      Alzheimer’s Libel.

  • jw

    Just think of the sheer volume of stupid that will be on-stage at the TeaThuglican debates! it’s going to be comedy gold

    • marxalot

      I don’t think any of us at the (soon to be rebuilt) Soviet will survive the Primary Debate Drinking Games unless we radically reform the rules.

      • jw

        True! Otherwise, you’ll miss the end. Cause by the time they’re
        done, they should have pushed each other so far to the right, hopefully they’ll fall off the flat earth I’m sure they all believe in.

      • Whale Chowder

        You’ll be Lenin over in your chairs.

  • Tom Wilder

    How can a guy so educated be so freaking stupid?

    • jw

      The more I hear him speak, the more convinced I am that he obviously cheated his way through school. There is just no other logical explanation.

      • Boscoe

        I thought he already admitted that? ;))

        • BackDoorMan

          … apparently it’s not cheating if Jesus gives you the answers. It’s not like you can drag the Son of Gawd into the Dean’s office.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Narrow expertise in a field is no guarantor that an individual can figure out how to cut and paste in Word.

    • BearGHAZI

      OH MY GOD AUTISM. He’s a savant!

    • CalvinianChoice

      I’ve been in more than a few surgery lounges- they all have a big screen tuned into Fox News 24/7.

      • Virginia Dreaming

        I always thought that was because Fox required less brain power to process than a three stooges video.

    • Jared James

      He’s a retired surgeon. He probably hasn’t read three words that weren’t directly related to neuroscience in thirty years.

      And I have to say, the likelihood he read more than five words that were related to anything political or economic before that seems vanishingly slim.

    • jte

      He wasn’t educated. He was trained. A lot of people go to very prestigious schools and come out with some very good training in a profession. But they don’t have an education. They never invested time in learning about other cultures, languages, philosophies, religions, etc. Consequently, they can do the thing they trained for well, and think this makes them just as good at everything else which, as the good doctor’s musings on foreign policy here show, is a deeply misplaced confidence.

      • Dee Andee

        Well said!

  • mailman27

    Serious political woo-woo.

  • dslindc

    Fortunately, there are nonspecific ways to get rid of clown cars full of people who won’t ever be President too!

    • Shibusa

      “Amen, bro.” ~Chris Christie

    • weejee

      Some of the clowns have nonspecific urethritis? That’s something to clap about.

    • Msgr_Moment

      With votes!

      No, this time I mean it. For realz.

      • dslindc

        I’m not a scientist, but that seems very specific and factual.

  • MrBlobfish

    Who’d he send to take out Saddam? This guy:

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Like you’ll ever get that vile asshole into harm’s way in any way, shape,or form, just like his worthless sire who avoided service in Vietnam by hiding in Paris as a “missionary”.

    • Anarchy Pony

      He does look like a terminator.

  • Virginia Dreaming

    The sad part is the idea of using 9-11 to unite the country behind becoming oil independent could have been a great idea. It would not have done anything to remove Saddam Hussein or the Taliban from power, but it would have made our country, and the planet a lot more liveable. And we would be a lot less hated around the globe. Which probably would have made us much more safer than the war and destruction pathway Shrub chose.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, Unca Dick and his cronies had, and have, absolutely no interest in US energy independence, because they fear, above all things, be rendered obsolete, and having to find new jobs. So fuck the 99%. We’ll deal with the mess we imagine we’re good at (which explains Cold War nostalgia amongst these cretins) thank you, not learn to adapt and change to fit the real world’s terrible tendency to refuse to be static.

      It’s like actual free markets in which they have to compete. They don’t want them, and do everything they can to crush any potential competitor who will force them to get off their lazy asses.

    • marxalot

      I also wrote letters encouraging a different strategy which focused on energy independence but went on to urge appeals to compassion, resistance against fascist/militarist responses, and a refusal to compromise liberty in the face of attacks. Can I haz Prez’dent?

    • Zippy

      Why can’t we do that right now to scare all the Muslins?

      Oh yeah, the blah guy in the white house can’t get credit for anything

    • Boscoe

      Before you give Ben too much credit, I strongly suspect he was suggesting Dubya LIE about becoming oil independent, not actually DOING it…

      • Virginia Dreaming

        Probably true. If you use the metaphor of a race, we seem to have moved from the idea of running the best race possible to throwing shit at the other racers in hope of slowing them down enough to we can stumble to the finish line.

        • willi0000000

          USA! *flings shit* USA! *flings shit* USA! *flings shit*

    • SterWonk

      I almost cry when I think about the sane reaction President Gore would have had to 9/11. Then I actually cry when I remember that he wouldn’t have ignored the PDB, would have taken appropriate steps, and there’s a good chance that 9/11 would have been just another Tuesday. <sigh>

  • OneYieldRegular

    “…certainly everyone should have the right to live under the system of their choosing”

    I choose socialism. What about my rights, waaah?

    • Zippy

      everyone but us…

    • jmk

      Carson (in common with many of the other clown car occupants) has clearly chosen theocratic oligarchy.

  • Hemp Dogbane

    The Republican Clown car has 2 pair of bucket seats up front and 2 bench seats in back that each seat 3. Also, suicide doors. Clown cars gotta have suicide doors. Funnier watching the clowns get in and out that way.

    • SterWonk

      The suicide doors rear-opening doors (not “suicide”, because they can’t open w/o the front doors open) were the one thing about the Honda Element that I found at all redeeming, because they allowed for getting larger cargo in and out; leaving that aside, it was a horrible looking car. :-P

      By contrast, there was nothing redeeming about e.g. the Scion xB.

      • Hemp Dogbane

        I’m on my second Element. A guy called the Car Talk Guys asking what would be good for hauling his goats. They said “have we got a car for you!” I was hooked.

        • SterWonk

          But I think the undisputed champion of “Worst-looking car sold in America in the Past Twenty Years” still has to be the original Pontiac Aztek.

  • Fly

    I think Ben may have traded his brain in for a gently used one from Jesse Helms.

    • Zippy

      Abby someone

  • weejee

    JFK, Ike it gets so confusing. Carson thinking likely derives from John Foster Dulles’ Operation Ajax, which has worked ever so well in Iran over the years.

  • the_steamer

    If you like your communism you can KEEP it, period. If you like your dictator you can KEEP them, period.

    • arglebargle

      If you like your commas you can keep them, period. If you like your periods you can keep them periods, period.

      • Zippy

        so bloody confusing

        • SK

          Simple rule. ‘i’ before ‘e’, except after ‘c’ as in ‘receive’

          No wait, except for ‘science’.

          That’s i… no wait, also ‘society’

          Dammit, it is confusing.

          • Zippy

            Neither of those deign to follow the rule either, so I wouldn’t give it too much weight

            weird, eh?

  • Boscoe

    Ben *REALLY* needs to stop showing up for these things stoned out of his gourd…

  • This week all the underwear ads here have young women. Last week it was young men.
    I am so confused.

    • SK

      Ben Carson has an app for that.

      • TundraGrifter

        SK: Unfortunately, not an aptitude.

    • Virginia Dreaming

      You have to be more consistent in the type of porn you watch when you aren’t reading the wonkette?

      • Jen_Baker_VA

        Or Wonkette is giving us equal opportunity oogling time. Though I am getting mostly tie ads and men in undies myself

        • Virginia Dreaming

          I keep getting car ads. I assumed it was because we bought one last fall, and I spent weeks researching and finding a good deal.

          • Boscoe

            Maaaaan, you guys get all the GOOD ads… I just get shoes and backpacks… >:(

          • TheBidenator

            Dude…you’ve been watching people have sex with cars? That’s sick, I dunno about this site, some of you guys are freaks. That’s it, I’m going back to watching tentacle porn. Ah, cartoon giant squids…is there any female orifice you won’t stick a tentacle into and writhe around in? I wish I had some tentacles….

          • Zippy

            get the donottrack and the disconnect apps for FF or Chrome. no more tracking cookies following you around the internet and no more facebook spying on you everywhere you go. the only downside is you have to whitelist any site that uses facebook logins for their comments section if you want to see them

        • Zippy

          you guys see ads?


          • TheBidenator

            Nah, just lazy :eats PB and J with a large wooden spoon:

        • Bill Slider

          It’s Googles fault. They tailor ads to your interests as the perceive them to be.

  • nmmagyar

    Only a fucking surgeon would have enough ego to think that a personal letter from a citizen to POTUS would be answered.

  • Joshua Norton

    I’m surprised he even needs glasses since his hindsight is a perfect 20/20.

    • Boscoe

      SOMETHING involving his ass, anyway…

  • Electric Ukelele Land

    It’s like that song “50 ways to depose your mid-east dictator”

  • TundraGrifter

    “And since we did go in, the big problem is that we didn’t secure victory there, and that’s a huge problem.”

    Actually, the huge problem is there was no path to “victory.” It’s like taking on a lion with a butter knife – it’s just not going to end well.

    • Boscoe

      I think it’s pretty clear by now that the GOP would have no difficulty lowering the bar for “victory” far enough until whatever clusterfuck they achieved finally “fit” the description.

      • BackDoorMan

        … President Chimpy Codpiece and the Mission Accomplished photo-op comes to mind.

    • arglebargle

      But, but, but… we’ll be greeted as liberators. Thus victory is assured and no exit strategery needed. Plus, all the oils will pay for the whole shebang. Or should I say sheBANG! But I’m mixing my cheneys, rumsfelds and carsons. Very unseemly.

    • Doug Langley

      I’m fascinated by people who seem to think they could have “secured victory” where Bush failed. They don’t seem remember Bush screaming at his generals to pour it on hard, harder, hardest, until every last enemy was ground to dust. What could have Carson have done differently – yell a little louder?

  • Enfant Terrible

    Don’t quit your day job, Dr. Carson.

    • SK

      NO. Do quit your day job, Dr. Carson.

  • Thaumaturgist

    I feel we should begin our discussion of Dr. Ben and his “ways” by admitting to ourselves that no one ever called Namcy Reagan’s astrologer “the stupidest fucking person on the face of the earth.”

    • Wee Mousie

      Why should they? Dubya has a death-grip on that honor, but Joan Quigley might qualify for “the stupidest fucking person beneath the face of the earth” (As of something in October, 2014, or thereabouts) when they hold the competition.

      • Thaumaturgist

        Can’t agree that W got better advice from his new-cons than Nancy got from her astrologer. Based on the results, I’ll go with the astrologer over W’s wiz kids any day.

  • ThePuckStopsHere

    Do you know how many Americans had died in Vietnam as of 11/22/63? It was 100. I am one of those who believe that JFK would have gotten us out of there after the ’64 elections (even as I fully acknowledge the cynicism of his keeping us there until then, but also knowing that a pull-out prior to the vote would have left him vulnerable to a “soft on communism” charge which could easily have cost him the re-election he would have needed to bring the troops home). Thus, I believe Lee Harvey Oswald, acting alone, actually killed something like 58,000 Americans that awful day in Dallas. And, Ben? John F. Kennedy would have laughed in your stupid-assed face.

    • Guinnessmonkey

      So you think JFK didn’t actually buy into the domino theory or think that fighting communism was important; he was just pretending to be a cold warrior for the voters? Not sure how you can back up that analysis. Keeping Americans in Vietnam wasn’t exactly controversial (among the vast majority of voters) in 1964.

  • Zippy

    Technically, Carson is right about Afghanistan. Recently released info shows that the Taliban tried to negotiate a deal with us to take out Osama. initially, they tried to set up some sort of independent court for a trial, but the U.s. rejected anything short of trying here. After the 1998 embassy bombings, the Taliban were increasingly worried about Bin Laden’s presence and even more willing to make a deal, up to and including a targeted cruise missile strike. They wanted some sort of face saving concessions in return, but they clearly knew that Osama was going to bring the wrath of the U.s. military down upon their country. But at that point no one on our side was willing to listen. Clinton was too busy dodging ‘wag the dog’ allegations and his BJ fiasco, so by the end of the 90’s into the early 2000’s the state dept and CIA were solely looking at war options. In fact, the Taliban even gave us a non-specific warning about Bin Laden’s impending attack here during the early days of the Bush presidency and continued to try to negotiate right up to the days before 9/11. Where Carson is wrong is the idea that the Taliban gave a shit about oil- but they did care deeply about their country getting bombed into the stone age and they knew it was coming sooner or later- they’d already gotten a taste of it when Clinton lobbed some cruise missiles in after the embassy bombing

    • Boscoe

      “Where Carson is wrong is the idea that the Taliban gave a shit about oil”

      lol Look at you giving Ben the benefit of the doubt that he actually KNOWS anything about anything or actually even thought this crap through before spewing it out of his weed-smoking hole… ;P

      • Zippy

        he’d probably be a much better human being if he did smoke weed. but yeah, Ben “Stopped clock” Carson stumbled into getting something right

    • dshwa

      I think they were less worried about being bombed back into the stone age and more about maintaining their grip on power, but they were willing to negotiate. Unfortunately, the people on the other end had grand delusions of creating their own reality of an empire.

      • Zippy

        basically both. handing over Osama probably would’ve ended their regime- their only hope was some face saving excuse or enough sleight of hand to avoid the wrath of the faithful. Plus, having their cities get destroyed is bad for morale

  • VandeGraf

    Why does everyone trip lightly past the history that shows Rumsfeld being sent to Iraq to help the transfer of weapons and technology to Saddam Hussein when Saddam was fighting Iran. Later on, of course, it’s all Bush I and II, GWB has enough to answer for–certainly well beyond the gas attack his media hunds foisted on the American public– but the rest of these current electioneering klowns were not long out of short pants when the US internal duplicity about Iraq began. Carson is a putz, and won’t be president. But that has absolutely nothing to do with Iraq or awkward answers about it. We should be putting questions to the war hawks. We should be putting questions to GWB, Cheney, Wolfowitz, and Rumsfeld, among others. Maybe we should consider putting some of them in the pokey– except they probably already have pardons, sitting in a safe (for crimes perpetrated during the commission of perfectly innocent decisions based on flawed intelligence that got a shitload of people killed). It will never happen, but I’d love to see manslaughter indictments.

    • JohnR

      Oh sure, history, we are not historians and and therefore can not learn anything from it, mistakes are made to be repeated until everyone is dead, last man wins.

  • TheBidenator

    “However, many people love communism, and certainly everyone should have the right to live under the system of their choosing.”
    – This guarantees monocles falling into chardonnay glasses at every rich donor golden shower party for GOP contenders. Ben Carson just made sure none of those billionaires will make it rain on him….

  • Bill Slider

    Can’t say that I disagree with him, on either Iraq or Vietnam. But I refuse to give him any points. Like I learned long ago, hindsight is cheap.

  • Making Saddam’s mustache fall out would have been traditional. (Try it enough, maybe it would work?)

  • Zippy

    I’d love to hear Dr. Dumbass explain how taking out Saddam without invading Iraq would be any less likely to create the same power vacuum we see now- either way, all the usual suspects would seize the opportunity they’re seizing now

  • Gleem-McShinez

    “Yes! I said, we’ll be petroleum independent in 10 years! Which totally is possible, you guys.”
    “I said it is totally possible, maybe you didn’t hear because of all that laughing you haven’t stopped doing. Which is actually rude, in my country.”

  • JDM

    Becoming petroleum independent was once high on the agenda, circa Jimmy Carter. We know how the Republicans embraced that one. And since becoming independent requires using alternatives, we know how high on the agenda that was for Bush and Cheney, not to mention the rest of the GOP.

  • Steverino247

    The GOP and its presidential candidates are only in it for the money.

  • Anarchy Pony

    Cause it’s America’s right to assassinate any head of state we don’t like because freedumb!

  • Paperless Tiger

    Regime change, how does it work?

  • dshwa

    Oh Ben, we could drill every square inch of where oil is available in the U.S., and it STILL wouldn’t keep up with out current rate of increasing demand. Got any real solutions rattling around up there?

    • Rick Hill

      Well, obviously. You know he would have had no problem securing enough support and backing to embark on an ambitious renewable energy program, spending a hundred bil. or so on new tech…..bwahahahahah! I couldn’t get it all out. Yeah, repubs are going to spend money on leds and solar panels instead of killing brown folks. Shut down coal mines too..

  • Zen Diesel

    If I am not mistaken Dubyah had the opportunity to Seal Team Six Bin Laden and opted not to do so. Uncle Ben is going to the lead court jester for the Republican Clown Winnebago during the primaries.

    • Jacman Rasta Bicycle

      It wouldn’t have looked good for Bushco the whack the relative of one of their BFFs.

  • Goposaur

    “Damnit Hannity, I’m a doctor, not a president”

  • Santana999

    I am from Philly. We invented “ways of getting rid of people”. I can tell you that Bin Laden would have been tough unless he decided to take a stroll down South Street. Then a couple of miles and a few bags of lime later, he would be taking a dirt nap in Jersey.

  • LarkintheAM

    When did flag pins on the lapel become a requirement for anyone running for political office? I’d love to see someone be all bold and daring and go without it for awhile to see if anyone would notice.

    • doktorzoom

      See also Barack Obama for twenty minutes in 2008…

  • stevola

    The Bay of Pigs worked out really well.

  • Incoming Ham

    He needs a cape.

  • Me not sure

    I think somebody was gettin’ his lemon squeezed in that picture.

  • Scott Richmond

    The more this guy talks, the less I am able to believe he was competent as a neurosurgeon or anything else.

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    Ben, that exploding cigar trick really doesn’t work.

  • Magic Juan

    True communism might not be bad to live under.
    Unfortunately most countries that say they are communist are actually
    totalitarianism dictatorships.

    • Guinnessmonkey

      Nah, true communism would suck. When you have workers committees deciding what we all do based on need or whatever, you don’t get all the stupid stuff that we really, really like but don’t actually need, like smartphones or snarky political blogs or whatever. Under Communism Wonkette’s staff would be working on newsletters for grain cooperatives or whatever instead of making fun of nutjob right wingers. Personally I LIKE being able to spend my money on nonproductive stuff like video games or superhero movies or whatever.

  • Nikato Muirhead

    It was a surgical strike that got bin laden. The war was already over. Though the war in Iraq is still ongoing the target in Iraq is different. It was also a surgical strike which got Saddam Hussein. The strike to get Castro did not have the technological advantage of today’s strikes. Drones and various satellite technologies make this easier.

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