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Honestly, what do we know, even?

Jeb Bush has had just about enough of these people who think that science actually proves anything, and he’s not going to let Barack Obama get away with arrogantly telling people that climate change is real, or that we know why it’s happening. So Wednesday, after the President devoted much of his commencement address at the Coast Guard Academy to discussing the national security implications of climate change, Bush just couldn’t hold his tongue anymore, and not just because he had slobber all over his fingers again. Climate change may be real, Bush said, but let’s not get carried away and treat it like a significant priority or anything.

At a fund-raiser in Bedford, New Hampshire, Bush acknowledged — in that “the climate is always changing” way Republicans like so much — that the climate is changing, but added, “I don’t think the science is clear of what percentage is man-made and what percentage is natural. It’s convoluted[.]” Heck, if it’s complicated, then maybe we should just do nothing. That’s worked so well with other complex problems, after all. Besides, Bush said, people are just far too quick to assume that climate scientists actually know what they’re talking about:

“For the people to say the science is decided on this is really arrogant, to be honest with you,” he continued. “It’s this intellectual arrogance that now you can’t have a conversation about it, even. The climate is changing. We need to adapt to that reality.”

And by “adapt,” Bush explained, he means “drill, baby, drill.” The President, he said, just wants to “reduce economic activity to lower our carbon footprint. That’s not what he says, of course, but that’s the result of his policies.” Instead, Bush said, we don’t need to reduce the gases that those arrogant scientists say cause global warming, but instead, we should provide more incentives for fracking and drilling for natural gas, which is, admittedly, lower in carbon than oil and coal, but not exactly carbon-free. As for the significance of climate change, Bush was decisively indecisive:

I don’t think it’s the highest priority. I don’t think we should ignore it, either … Just generally I think as conservatives we should embrace innovation, embrace technology, embrace science. … Sometimes I sense that we pull back from the embrace of these things. We shouldn’t.

So, sure, let’s embrace just enough science that we can pretend that we might need to do something, but not so much that we actually do anything. Still, it’s the closest that any of the 2016 Republican candidates have come to even obliquely criticizing the climate-denying loons in Congress, so we’ll give Jeb a half-point of extra credit.

The Democratic National Committee issued a terse statement in response to Bush’s warning against getting all carried away with science:

Ninety-seven percent of climate scientists agree that human activity has led to climate change. Ninety-seven percent. But Jeb Bush thinks they’re wrong. Who’s being intellectually arrogant now?

Oh, Jeb, Ya BURNT! Happily, that one was carbon-neutral.

[Mother Jones / CNN]

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  • cousin itt

    Epistemology is not Jeb’s strong suit.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Coherent speaking skills are not John Ellis Bush’s strong suit.

      • NerdWithNoName

        It seems to run in the family. Neither prez Bush was very good at putting together a complete sentence off the top of his head.

        • SterWonk

          The thing is, W used to be far more coherent. There was this great video comparing his performance at a Texas gubernatorial debate, with one of the Presidential debates. It was night and day – he used to speak in complete, complex sentences, compared to the disjointed phrases later on. He was still wrong on most of the issues, of course, but at least he sounded like an adult discussing them. Alas, the video is long gone. :-(

    • Amy!

      ‘E pissed ’em all off, gee.

  • Callyson

    Just generally I think as conservatives we should embrace innovation, embrace technology, embrace science.

    Say, you know what else conservatives should embrace?

  • Blueb4sunrise

    Is the evidence better or worse than what was used to justify the invasion of Iraq?

    • Amy!

      Worse? I’m trying to think … like a prayer rug on the border, maybe?

      • Blueb4sunrise

        Hell, they’re selling those rugs on empty corner lots now.

  • SnarkOff

    I look forward to Jeb Bush being elected President of Waterworld in 2050.

  • Msgr_Moment

    The President, he said, just wants to “reduce economic activity to lower our carbon footprint.

    He’s just upset because reducing economic activity was one of his brother’s few strong suits.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I agree with Jeb. Does anybody really know what time it is?

    Geez- and they say he’s the smart one.

  • Kat Anyperson

    In other news, Oklahoma had 585 earthquakes last year that were confirmed as caused by fracking practices. How long before Jeb calls the scientists who study that phenomena “intellectually arrogant”?

    • SnarkOff

      “Hey, Oklahoma! What’s shakin’?”

  • Callyson

    Um, er, um…from the CNN linky:

    Jeb Bush massages New Hampshire woman

    Capital WTF?

    Salem New Hampshire Chamber of Commerce President Donna Morris was in for some unexpected caressing from likely Republican presidential hopeful Jeb Bush during this afternoon’s meet and greet.

    Morris, who was winded from running to grab her introduction remarks she had forgotten, apologetically greeted Bush, who in turn reassured her to take her time. She then joked, “oh, you take my breath away.”

    Bush then shifted in behind her for a brief, but golden, shoulder massage

    http://media.tumblr.com/3a2c2f0f16cfcb77d2673ea1dc9fca97/tumblr_inline_nfz18cDaRc1s6y4l2.gif

    • Msgr_Moment

      You just can’t merkel this stuff up.

      • arglebargle

        is that comment even germane to the subject?

        • pstockholm

          Well he is sort of a Deutschbag.

    • RoyalUglyDude

      Now she knows how Angela Merkel feels. So does Dubya.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, it’s all about the gynecologists sharing their love with their patients, don’t you know?

    • onedollarjuana

      Give ’em a break. Look who raised those boys and tell me they know what normal human interactions are.

      • david green

        They were raised by Mitt?

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      What, no loofa?

    • Virginia Dreaming

      Damn, what is it a Bushes and unwanted touching?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Didn’t the deserting coward clean his glasses on the skirt of one of David Letterman’s staffers?

        What a fucking boob.

        • SterWonk

          Say what now?

    • mailman27

      A brief golden shower???? What the..? Oh, never mind…

  • Kitsapian

    Shrub II: Ignorance is its own reward.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    To be perfectly honest, Heb does not know the meaning of the phrase “to be perfectly honest.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      No one in the Crime Family does.

  • Nounverb911

    “People Need To Stop Being So Uppity About Climate Science”

    Translation: “I plan to live in DC soon and don’t really care if Florida washes away in the next hurricane”.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Those fuckin’ Pentagon generals and admirals are just sucking up to Obama for promotions and hookers and shit, they don’t really think that climate change is a national security threat.

    Just like they didn’t think that the Iraqi occupation would be all candies and flowers and shit, and sure enough, it was!

    • willi0000000

      “candies and flowers and shit”

      i don’t remember the candies and flowers

      [but there was, and is, shit . . . lots of shit]

  • Lizzietish81

    A yahoo on yahoo was all “hah gotcha” when he told me that increases in CO2 are caused by climbing temperatures because water warms up and loses some of the CO2 and I replied that he had just described run away green house effect. He claimed that clearly I was ignorant of the science.

    • Callyson

      Ugh, Yahoo commenters are the worst. I can’t even go on Yahoo Sports without hearing racist dumbfucks babbling about my hometown team’s coach. “Mike Tomlin was a Rooney Rule hire! Fire him now!!!”

      • Virginia Dreaming

        At least your hometown team isn’t a racist slur!

        • Shibusa

          I am a big booster for the Fighting Inbred Toothless Hillbillies of Gainesville, MO. Go ‘billies!

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      It would make me chuckle if it did not make me want to cry so much.

      https://lbrbblog.files.wordpress.com/2015/02/natgeo.png

  • AntiDerpomeme

    Bush just couldn’t hold his tongue anymore, and not just because he had slobber all over his fingers again.

    Dok, turning a finely snarked phrase into art!

  • Thaumaturgist

    It’s a “hidden hand” job Mama Nature’s doing on us. Just like voodoo economics.

  • Me not sure

    Didn’t Jebbie have a home in Miami at one time? If he’s smart he has sold it by now.

    • Nounverb911

      Maybe Norman Braman can buy it and give it to Marco Rubio.

  • onedollarjuana

    “Just generally I think as conservatives we should embrace innovation…”

    Uh, Jeb? I’m not sure you understand what conservative really means.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Contemporary “Conservatives” have not the first fucking clue as to what “conservative” means.

      • nmmagyar

        Other than “white” there seems to be no cohesion in the modern conservative movement

      • Kind of like how the current “libertarians” Ron and Rand don’t understand that a tenet of that belief system is TO STAY OUT OF MY UTERUS.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          As far as they are concerned, unless you’re a white straight “Christian” male, you’re not actually a person

          • Querolous

            Or a corporation.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      *checks thesaurus for synonyms of Conservative*

      unchangeable, firm, fuddy-duddy, unimaginative, unprogressive, timid, traditional, fearful, stable, inflexible…
      Hrm. I do not see embracing of innovation on here at all. Is this a librul Thesaurus, thesaurus.com?

  • OldWhiteLies

    That “arrogant” argument is really starting to wind me up. I want to grab people who use it by the shirt collar and shove their face a few inches from a mirror and tell them: “THIS, this is what arrogance looks like.”

    • willi0000000

      would work . . . if they had reflections.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    “Still, it’s the closest that any of the 2016 Republican candidates have come to even obliquely criticizing the climate-denying loons in Congress, so we’ll give Jeb a half-point of extra credit.”

    Sorry, but once again: No. No credit for half-way acknowledging reality.

    Shrub II is so stupid, it’s a wonder he can dress himself.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      That’s why he married that Meskin woman. At least she knows how to shop and dress.

  • diogenez
  • OneYieldRegular

    “For the people to say my corruption on this is decided is really accurate, to be honest with you.”

  • FauxAntocles

    Remember when acid rain was destroying the NE and Canadian forests and we did nothing and it just went away?
    Neither do I.

  • JohnBull

    This is better than I expected; at least he acknowledges that a majority of people give a shit. He could have said, “Only ivory-tower eggheads and metrosexual pinkos pay attention to ….climate! Real Americans want God and guns.” He could carry at least 20 states on that line alone.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Huckabee’s entire platform, well, if you toss in grits and gravy, of course.

      • Gleem-McShinez

        toss in grits and gravy

        What, did the squirrel get away?

  • “We need to adapt to that reality.”

    I know people like this. They say, “We should do something this evening!” And then they shoot down everything you suggest, and you end up staying home and watching Netflix while they go on Facebook and complain about how nobody wants to spend time with them.

    • SK

      Hey, don’t dismiss binge-watching Pauly Shore flicks. Especially his early work.

      • I’ve been lost since I ran out of Scrubs.

        • nmmagyar

          The Mr. and I are currently binging on The Mindy Project

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I think I’d rather be waterboarded.

        • Whollyholeyholy

          I like to use Pauly Shore to explain white privilege. I am not expected to explain him because we are of the same race.

  • Virginia Dreaming

    Why can’t conservatives embrace conservation?

    • Jeff Furlington

      Then what would the conservationists do? Conservationists aren’t going to conserve foolish beliefs including racism, and conservatives are not going to conserve resources.

  • Slithytoves

    Expertise=intellectual arrogance. That’s what stupid people say to smart people.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Also, too, stupid people look at Newt Gingrich and thing he’s a smart person.

      • I genuinely believe he’s mentally ill. But I’m not a psychologist, so I’m right about this.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      And being “elite” is a bad thing, also too.

  • Whollyholeyholy

    But the Pentagon says…and isn’t their word better than the word of God in these circles?

  • marxalot

    Damn, and I was really hoping that the “rebranding the climate-change driven end of the world as a military/industrial/security issue” thing was going to work.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Anyone with two synapses that rub together and has any sort of high level military training knows it’s true. Which explains why the scum of the Bush Crime Family don’t.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The Pentagon, NSA, and CIA know the score, and are making plans and projections accordingly . . . without regard to what GOP assclowns spew out while pandering to their moron base.

      • Shibusa

        One wonders if the Foxbots are conflicted about it since they’re generally so worshipful of all things military (except for funding the VA).

        • david green

          They loves the military for the defence contracts, not so much for things that con;t generate massive profits. If one can figure out a way to make climate change uber profitable, the GOP will be all over it.

  • Antonin Dvorak

    That teleprompter in the picture makes it look like he has one fairy wing.

    • SK

      Looks more like a canoe paddle down the shit creek.

  • Wall Street is known for the exact sort of long-term, big-picture thinking you need to control global warming.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I have a friend who has friends who work in the Wall Street telecom support arena, and everyone gets the exact same length of fiber from their servers to the router. Because they will exploit nanosecond differences in trading times for profit.

      • Doug Langley

        Isn’t someone build a microwave relay system from Chicago to New York to get that stock info a millisecond before everyone else?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Insurance companies, for whom a grip on reality is a vital asset, yes.
      Wall St. money-mongers, not so much.

  • MrBlobfish

    You’re having a heart attack. You go to 10 doctors. Nine say “HOLY CRAP YOU’RE HAVING A HEART ATTACK GET TO A HOSPITAL”!! The tenth doctor tells you to walk it off, ya big baby. Who do you listen to?

    • Virginia Dreaming

      The one who tells you what you want to hear? The one who tells you are going to be fine?

      • SK

        Doctors, schmoctors, sometimes the voices in your head are all you got. So you better listen to them. At least the loudest one.

        • Hardly Ideal

          You wouldn’t need to listen to those guys if you just enrolled in an Obamacare plan!

          • SK

            Billy says “hi”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The one who will take some chickens as his fee.

      • SK

        Sharron Angle libel?

    • nmmagyar

      The one with the most liberal prescription pad, obviously

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Not even one doctor in ten. A tiny percentage of a doctor, not even coming up to ankle-level, tells you you’re good to go.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Here’s your ankle level medical expert:

        • Shibusa

          Akita good health care is wanting to smell your medical expert.

    • arglebargle

      rub some dirt on it

  • BearGHAZI

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I am surprised to find that I agree with El caudillissimo Heb that the climate is changing. It isn’t so long ago that he appeared to be a plausible, though unwelcome, candidate for the Presidency. But repeated blasts of hot, dry air emitting from his pie hole, accompanied by the fetid aroma of a deliquescing Dubya-era foreign policy suggests that the political climate dooms him to political extinction.

  • Fly

    Republicans need every educated person to make an effort to make them not look stupid.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    Stupid scientists with their “we’re so smart” act!

  • Bitter Scribe

    If I were a Coast Guard academy graduate, I had made it through a physically and mentally grueling program, and was ready to take my place as an officer safeguarding my country’s coastlines, and my prize was to sit and listen at my graduation ceremony to Jeb fucking Bush, I would be royally pissed.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Just think of how all those West Point and Annapolis grads had to endure listening to the blatherings of a deserting coward.

    • bobbert

      I believe it was Bamz who spoke at the graduation ceremony.

  • Joshua Norton

    Jeb Bush calls belief in climate science “arrogance,” as opposed to the quiet act of humility that was the invasion of Iraq.

  • jw

    Well, I mean, what else is he going to say if he’s trying to get votes from the TeaThuglican Morans? I see he’s keeping up his perfectly stupid track record of pandering.

  • Electric Ukelele Land

    The only way you’re going to get conservatives to admit that climate change is real is to convince them they can make money from it or bomb it.

    • FauxAntocles

      That’s part of the stupidity – moving to green tech would be a huge boost to the economy. Just not for the “right” people.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Precisely. Big Oil would be left out. They know what happened to the buggy whip makers.

        • Kat Anyperson

          Did you know the US Navy (among others) figured out a way to convert seawater into jet fuel at a price of about $3 a gallon?

          I wonder why THAT technology hasn’t become more widespread /eyeroll

          • david green

            Didn;t Congress prohibit DoD to spend any more money on the project?

        • Whollyholeyholy

          Conservative Texas leads the nation in wind power production. The ranchers have found it a smart use of their land. Duke and Shell have already diversified in that direction. Policy changes under Perry (of all people) helped. The concept has not trickled down to the base, that’s for sure.

          • SK

            Wind power? Why, those windmill things are ugly as fuck!

          • willi0000000

            . . . and the least they could do is shut them down at night . . . the wind they make whistling through the eaves of my house is keeping me awake!!!!!

    • Joshua Norton

      The main reason they’re in such a loud state of denial is because of the costs involved in working on a solution. If it were free, they’d be screaming bloody blue murder because Obama wasn’t doing enough about fixing it.

      • Shibusa

        The other main reason they’re in such a loud state of denial is the billions or so dollars that have been fueling the climate denial movement, which is given lots of air time in right wing media.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Professional liars are being paid, very well, to be loud.

    • Relativicus

      The simpler solution would be to just have Obama denounce man-made climate change, and the scientists who love it so much.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Not sure that would work. His support of the TPP hasn’t exactly turned Republicans against it.

        It’s like the old joke. Murphy’s Law is recursive. Washing your car just to make it rain doesn’t work.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Jeb is betting on innovation. Any day now that process for turning atmospheric CO2 directly into Apple Watches will be perfected. Boom! Health care and Climate Change solved in one go. Innovation, baby!

    • Hardly Ideal

      Unless someone has made SpaceChem a real thing, I think I’ll keep my money on that sissy green tech.

    • david green

      But what all the children who will be put out of work assembling Apple Watches?

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Hoo-boy! From Obama’s Hersh-debunking document dump:
    “Among the many letters, videos, and audio recordings is
    an undated document apparently written by bin Laden discussing the
    “massive consequences” of climate change, a phenomenon he describes as
    having more victims than wars.”
    http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2015/05/read-bin-ladens-thoughts-climate-change
    Can’t wait for the denialist wingnutz to latch onto this!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Coming soon to a billboard near you:

  • an eye for a jedi

    the truth is a lie if you’re anything but nice about it.

  • VandeGraf

    Someone needs to tell Jeb that when you have a round lodged in your foot, you are well past “should have put the weapon down,” and deeply into “Oh, my God, Oh, my God, what do I do now?!”

  • Enfant Terrible

    The science is settled because the scientists have stopped arguing about it, Jebbie.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    JEB is trying to cater to the moron teabagger base without appearing to be too stupid for the presidency. It didn’t work for Mittens, either, and the more divorced from reality the base gets, the more impossible the task becomes.

    • SufferinSuccotash,Entitled

      Squaring the circle. With the next outbreak of ear-splitting paranoia in Teabagistan–an impending takeover by Elvis impersonators from the Planet Zontar–watch Jebster’s tapdancing.
      Butter on that popcorn?

      • david green

        And a large Dr Pepper. I get thirsty during these long shows.

  • ThePuckStopsHere

    Man who was the governor of the state sinking more rapidly into the Atlantic Ocean than any other sez what?

  • TheBidenator

    Jeb Bush calls climate science “arrogance” but sticking his fat face right into the Terri Schiavo tragedy and attempting to have his DA mount a wingnut butthurt jihad against Michael Schiavo after the fact was humility….

    • SterWonk

      THIS. As far as I’m concerned, his interference in the Terri Schiavo case is pretty much an automatic disqualifier for any office.

      • Unforgotten

        Not in his eyes, obviously, or in the eyes of many ‘pro-lifers’ out there…

  • TheBidenator

    The Bush brothers have to suffer from fetal alcohol syndrome, no one from ostensibly intelligent parents is that stupid.

    • david green

      Genetics can be a crapshoot.

  • Boscoe

    meanwhile, somewhere in space, Jesus facepalms while wondering why his dad ever invented irony…

  • Gleem-McShinez

    If the scientists only said “well, we might possibly have a little idea, a stupid lame one, and definitely not anything like your awesome ideas, guys, but an idea that we might think we understand some little teeny unimportant bit, about how the climate might possibly get changed by some insignificant things or other. If you get some free time, or are really bored, I could tell you about it. Don’t go out of your way though, really.”

    That’s how to not be so arrogant, jerk science-doers!

    • laineypc

      When the hole in the ozone was discovered (or what was causing it or how fast it was happening, I can’t remember the details) the scientists were all “oh shit this data is scary, we probably got it wrong. We better go and recheck it a few times” Not to say that happens all the time, but scientists get so beat up for getting something wrong (insert notable exceptions here) that they generally don’t get arrogant until they are good and ready to.

      • Unforgotten

        The ozone hole was ‘discovered’ almost accidentally. The data about it was there, for anyone to see, for years and years, but nobody took a close look at THAT data. And then some guy wrote a paper about it, NASA & co. said ‘He can’t be right! Let’s check the data!’ and… ‘discovered’ the ozone hole.

        • laineypc

          Thank you.

  • Ergoetal

    I may be wrong, but the use of the word “arrogant” has a funny feel to it (and not just because it comes from a Bush).

    Doc’s subhed tips us off — I wonder if the word was chosen for its dog-whistle value a la Obama’s particular skin color.

    • david green

      Instead of “arrogant”, they mean uppity”?

  • Eric Boyer

    Jeb Bush working so hard to explode the “Smart Bush” myth.

    • Jinmichigan

      Beat me to it.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      It’s the only myth he is working hard to disprove and he isn’t even doing it on purpose.

  • nelore

    That face is a mirage. the real one is lodged down below.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Jeb is trying very hard to be the third consecutive Republican candidate to lose the Presidential Election. I hope he wins the nomination so his dream can come true.

  • willi0000000

    he’s got to stop holding his tongue with his foot!

  • Badbadger

    Those three percent of “scientists” who are climate change deniers are soulless vampires who work for big energy. I don’t know that it makes sense to count them. Expose them to sunlight or garlic yes, count them as actual opinions havers no.

  • laineypc

    Nothing makes me so ragey I can’t think straight as Republicans denying/discounting climate science and its implications. Of the many hateful things they say and do, this one just really really is up there. It’s real, action should and can be taken, it can make economic sense to do so.

  • pursang833

    Sorry but the supposedly smart Bush just comes across as being a condescending mean ass prick. Having read about all his actions during and especially after the Terri Schiavo case he’s about as vindictive as they come.

    I sincerely hope if he gets past the primaries that the Democrats are ready to question him about the Schiavo case and his poor excuse for a family. Yes I know that families for the most part should be off limits but the Jebsters show what a hypocrite he is in regards to their “values” and also how he uses his power and influence to get them off the hook for some serious crap.

    The last thing this country needs is another Bush in the White House. One was far too many especially when it was Poppy who lied his way through Iran Contra and all of his CIA ties.

  • Everhope

    My Dear Doktor Zoom,

    Is there not some brainy treatment kinda thing you could prescribe to republikkens suffering form that incipient brain death sorta thing? Now I realize how hard it would be to, you know, surgically intervene as these folks have been known to have concrete behind their eyeballs and between their earballs. So I guess jack-hammering might be just too invasive.

    So how ’bout this: Maybe some kind of enema thingy where common sense could be distilled into a liquid and shot up the, well, as a Doktor, you know what I mean. I make this humble suggestion as it’s been pointed out by other diagnosticians that these guys brains may have migrated out of the concrete, south to their badonkadonks, if you get my meaning. What say, Dok? Any hope for these characters?

    • Eric Bacon

      You misspelled Republikkens. Here, use this extra k.

      • Everhope

        Well thanks for sharing thar part of your alphabet, but I’m a bit confused as to where that 3rd K should land.

        • Eric Bacon

          after the other two

    • doktorzoom

      I have a PhD in rhetoric. I’d just prescribe a bunch of enthymemes.

      Or Ponies.

      • Everhope

        I get the prescription for the enthymemes, Dear Zoom, but Ponies; that one bucked me off.

      • Everhope

        I take it back, I do get the Ponies, methinks.

      • Everhope

        I’m, among other things a writer and the idea of a “bunch of enthymemes reduced to a liquid state and applied to these people appeals to my rather, at times, I will admit, sick imagination. But that sickness just may be the thing that helps me discover a treatment for these…well… whatever they are.

      • Anarchy Pony

        Season 1 definitely makes me feel better when I’m down.

    • SomeOtherDude

      Why not just make use of the Gweneth Paltrow Vagina Steam and Clean?

      • Everhope

        That one is just too creepy. But just maybe, by virtue of its creepiness, it could actually work on them.

  • JoeChristmas

    And he even translated his “please send me your big donor fossil fuel contributions” spiel into Spanish! For the double hit!!1!

  • Paperless Tiger

    Natural gas seems to be their preferred solution. You can tell by subtle shifts in the war zones.

  • chascates

    Jeb manages to have the most annoying qualities of both his father and his more stupid brother.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Based on his recent performances, I’m not ready to cede the More Stupid Brother to W just yet.

      • david green

        Seemed like GW had a solid lock on the title, but dark horse Jeb is coming from behind to challenge for the supremacy.

  • Poly_Ester

    The Republicans have developed a fetish for manufactured evidence. Then, the Iraq “intel.” Now, climate change. The amount of anthropogenic CO2 pumped into the atmosphere is known, if you are confused you are either too stupid to be President or too dishonest.

    • MrCanoehead

      The best evidence money can buy.

  • Yeah, Obama’s a Communist

    By increasing atmospheric CO2 by ten percent over the last 50 years,
    we have halted global warming. No warming for the last 18 years.
    Based on that observation, we should increase CO2 concentrations without delay.

    • Eric Bacon

      I can’t take anything you say seriously because you think Obama is a communist. Worst communist ever just added 11,000 to the DOW.

      Now, your simple analysis or repetition of talking points completely ignores that the climate science community is near unanimous on this issue. But, I guess if you isolate a couple of numbers from the WHOLE context.

      Cool,cool. McCarthy.

      • Yeah, Obama’s a Communist

        And as it turned out, McCarthy was right about everything.

        As am I.

        • Eric Bacon

          No. You don’t take away people’s rights and their abilities to make a living by blacklisting them for their beliefs. I hope you are like 50 or older because young people should not make the same mistakes as the ignorant generations before them.

          You are wrong. And the fact that you think you are right shows that you are not to be taken seriously. No one in their right mind thinks this president is a communist. If anything he is a moderate- he acts too much like a Republican half the time. Now, maybe in the teabagging bubbles he ‘s ultra-liberal, but I would counter that with- he is ultra liberal to people that don’t understand what liberal is.

          • Unforgotten

            Simple thing, people who are against him or his policies and goes on public and make that clear… are still alive, still have a career and are not being ‘followed’ by the not-so-‘secret police’.
            If at least ONE of this things was happening then maybe anyone calling Obama a dictator could be taken seriously.

          • david green

            I have noticed that the morans who insist Obama is a “communist” have no idea of what a communist, a Marxist, a socialist, a fascist, or a social democrat might be, or if there is any difference between them. They throw the word abound because communism used to be the boogeyman, and they haven’t moved beyond that.

  • Eric Bacon

    It might be arrogant to say humans are changing the climate of the entire world. That doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

    On the other hand, it is ignorant to say a politician is more knowledgeable than climate scientist.

    • frambley1

      I don’t think even think its arrogant. Humans in US America made the Dust Bowl Happen. Somehow they figured out that it wasn’t Jebus’ fault, even though it was the south. They let the Gummit Sciencers tell them how to fix it and they did.

  • Fly

    They all know better, the GOP politicians have to play to their base, who get all the science from Rush.

    • Zhu Bajie

      They’re no smarter.

      • Fly

        You got me. I’ll be damned if I stick up for them.

  • EverythingsConnected

    And one of the big petroleum companies doesn’t believe the average temperature on Earth will rise 2ª C… Recent Shell Oil internal documents state that they believe that’s too *LOW* an estimate!! And so they are preparing their operations for a world where the temperature will rise 4ª C by the end of the century!

    http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/may/17/shell-accused-of-strategy-risking-catastrophic-climate-change

    Who says conservatives don’t believe in AGW, they just won’t admit it in public…

    • Rufus T. Firefly

      Shell has one of the best and oldest futures shops in the corporate world. They know their forecasting.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Can you imagine what the conversations were like around the dinner table when these guys were growing up?

    • Rufus T. Firefly

      No. No, I cannot imagine.

  • Metadude

    And I thought his brother was the special needs Bush?

  • Magic Juan

    All these republican presidential candidates keep repeating the same bullshit on this and every subject.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “if it’s complicated, then maybe we should just do nothing”

    Actually, had he used that as his answer on Iraq…

  • Adam Pack

    Anyone who says stuff like ‘we don’t know what percentage of climate change is manmade’ isn’t allowed to have an opinion, sorry. If I’ve got a set of scales with a tonne on each side, and I add a kilo, the scales are going to shift. Technically, I’ve only added .1% to one side, but it’s still my fault that the scales move (or, in climate change terms, that we’re all going to fucking die).

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    A thousand canoes can’t be wrong.

    http://www.thestranger.com/issues/22240162/2015-05-20

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