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This fuckin' guy.

There are, like, 5,000 black rhinos left in the wild, tops. And now there’s one fewer, thanks to Texas oil heir Corey Knowlton, who legally shot an endangered black rhino and then legally brought it back to the United States, because that made Corey Knowlton feel like a big strong hunting man. What, how even, please explain to us NPR.

Corey Knowlton won an auction last January for a hunting permit that would allow him to kill a black rhino weighing around 3,000 pounds. […]

The permit came from Namibia’s Ministry of Environment and Tourism. Each year it targets several older rhinos that are no longer able to breed but still pose a deadly threat to younger males. The proceeds are meant to go toward anti-poaching and conservation efforts.

Oh! That is almost Nice Time, if you can put aside the sad, post-colonial reality of a sovereign state so desperate for cash that it auctions off part of its wildlife conservation efforts to the highest bidder. We will focus now on the Nice Time aspects of the story, for science:

  • Old male rhinos are apparently jerks, we guess. Boo jerk rhinos, down with jerk rhinos!
  • Knowlton paid $350,000 for one of the five permits, and the proceeds will support conservation programs.
  • The Namibian Ministry of Environment and Tourism identified 18 potential targets across the country, and the permits were only valid for these rhinos. Shooting any other rhino would be straight-ahead poaching.

Not a bad toll, karmically speaking. Maybe this guy paying to get his Great White Hunter jollies will actually help save the endangered black rhino, who knows! So what can we get mad about here?

  • The permit was originally issued not to Knowlton but to the Dallas Safari Club, which told NPR that it hoped to raise between $225,000 and $1 million for conservation efforts. Who says you can’t be a bargain shopper at a charity auction?
  • Knowlton knows that the haters are gonna hate, telling CNN: “I think people have a problem just with the fact that I like to hunt.” Everyone feel bad for oppressed Corey Knowlton!
  • Corey Knowlton’s daddy is a member of the exclusive Dallas Petroleum Club — where some of the plutocrats bankrolling Karl Rove occasionally like to meet — which helps explain how Knowlton fils was able to afford the permit, a flight to Namibia, a super-expensive rifle, an experienced hunting party, and transoceanic shipment of a dead rhinoceros back to the terrifying animal graveyard Corey Knowlton keeps in his house.
The horror...the horror...
Corey Knowlton’s trophy room, where the relentless pace of the slaughter now precludes the playing of billiards. Image via Facebook.

Did that last point hit you right in your class grievances, Wonketeers? Yeah, we know, us too. But it gets smarmier! Take us home, CNN:

I ask Knowlton if he still feels that killing this black rhino was the right thing to do and that it will benefit the future of this endangered species.

“I felt like from day one it was something benefiting the black rhino,” Knowlton reflected just moments after the hunt ended. “Being on this hunt, with the amount of criticism it brought and the amount of praise it brought from both sides, I don’t think it could have brought more awareness to the black rhino.”

Maybe not more awareness, but probably more money if we’re being honest with ourselves, right?

[NPR / CNN]

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  • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

    What is it with right wingers and this “we have to kill them to save them” shit?

    • Portia Elm

      They’re saying it was “culling” and that rhino should feel right honnered to take one for the team…they are never ones to keep their freakin’ hands off Nature. Which is why we are all in the soup right now. Parasite assholes…

      • bikerlaureate

        Agent Smith was right.
        We are a virus.

  • TeenLaQueefa

    Killing ain’t hunting ya fuckin’ douchebag.

    These people are sick in the head.

  • Catstro
  • JustPixelz

    “Old male rhinos are apparently jerks”

    Old male RINOs too.

    • Portia Elm

      you could leave off the “too” and be more accurate

  • “the proceeds will support conservation programs”

    I get extremely annoyed to hear this excuse used by the MC (Micropenis Club). Of course he’s also an oil heir, the energy sector is well-known for their “conservation efforts” by raping the environment.

    http://www.TheLibCrib.com (open all weekend if you’re lucky)

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Conservation programs to keep just enough endangered beasts alive so that they can be shot later by club members.

  • schmannity

    In Tulsa, if you donate a couple of cruisers and some body armor, you can hunt black “rhino” for a lot less.

    • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

      In Tulsa, if you donate a couple of cruisers and some body armor, you can hunt black “rhino” for a lot less. Too soon?

      FIFY!

  • memzilla

    Meanwhile, the white rhinos were served artisanal fruit punches and shade-grown foilage.

    • Steverino247

      Actually, the LAST white male rhino is guarded 24/7 in the hopes he will mate.

      • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

        I suppose artificially inseminating rhinos is a kinda high risk endeavor…

        • JustPixelz

          Naturally inseminating may also be high risk … which is why that last male is hesitating.

      • Fly

        There are plenty of white RINO’s in my neighborhood.

      • memzilla

        If we could find the right piece of their DNA and inject it into him, we could finally have some use for the Duggar gene.

  • They obviously preserved a huge amount of DNA from this specimen and are going to preserve it for future cloning purposes, right? RIGHT?!

    • chiefkurtz

      I’ll assume you’re referring to the Rhino’s DNA, and not this pampered greaseball’s.

      • Wee Mousie

        Unfortunately, greaseball, Texas, Oil Heirs are no more of an endangered species than oily, Texas heirballs.

  • JustPixelz

    Did he step on a butterfly by mistake? Because that would be bad.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Ik,r? I’m always making that rookie mistake.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Texas oil hair. Now it makes sense.

    • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

      Pronounced “ol har.”

    • Catstro

      Ted Cruz libel!

      • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

        Pretty sure his is Alberta tar sands.

    • eggsacklywright

      A little dabble do ya.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        A little Dubya do ya.

  • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

    I don’t care how rich you are, if you spend $350K on shit like this, you are one dumb motherfucker.

    • Doug Langley

      As Garfield the cat observed, “It’s amazing the things people would rather have than money.”

    • Catstro

      A fool and his money…

  • JTQ

    He is so tough and rough and rugged for killing animals in hand to paw combat. Give him a break, people.

    • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

      He should try his had at a Cape Buffalo.*

      *apparently, they kill the most hunters of any big game – kinda evens the score. And no, not with votes.

  • Steverino247

    Wait unitl somebody breaks into his house with a chainsaw and cuts off the horn from his trophy to send it to China.

    • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

      Where it’s worth $350,000.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    This guy’s the entire bro-hole package…the hat, the shades, the smirk…

    • janecita

      He has douche bag written all over his smirking face.

    • guppy06

      How many BMW’s does he own?

      • cousin itt

        AOT,K duh.

    • Wee Mousie

      Rhino’s are good at goring and trampling. Pity the one Knowlton got didn’t get a chance to trample Corey.

      Of course, knowing the way these “mighty hunters” hunt, it was probably just as canned as the ones Cheney and “friends” went on.

  • cousin itt

    I would get creeped out by all the dried human semen in his trophy room.

    • bikerlaureate

      That’s the semen of your betters, you class-obsessed poltroon.

      • cousin itt

        I often find it bitter. And if I do it in the poltroon that’s my own lookout.

  • Beaumarchais?

    Taxes are too low.

    • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

      No kidding.

  • Blender_415

    They’re going escort this assclown within a few hundred meters of the animal, which will be stationary, and he will shoot it from the deck of an armored SUV. That is not hunting. Micropenis douchebaggery, yes. Still hope something happens and the rhino wins.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Makes you wish for a Namibian version of that episode from “The Simpsons” when the dolphins got the upper hand.

      • H0mer0

        “I’m your sea captain now!”

    • JohnnyZhivago2

      For $400,000 they get the Rhino to shoot himself.

      • cousin itt

        After being forced to watch all the episodes of the Duggars.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    Aren’t animals allowed to open carry in Texas now?

    • cousin itt

      I think the members of bikeris gangus showed it doesn’t work too well

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Theoretically yes. But if the cops see a deer with a gun, for example, they taser it, plant some weed, and take it in.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    Send this idiot to New Jersey to shoot some deer and donate the meat to homeless shelters.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Send this idiot to New Jersey” would be enough.

      • JohnnyZhivago2

        Sentence him to being shouted at and berated by Chris Christie for a month.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Allowed only water and “stadium food”.

          • JohnnyZhivago2

            You could feed Nanimbia on Christie’s snack budget

          • Fly

            I’m not sure rat dicks are a major part of their diet.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Beat me to it…his “snacks” seem to consist of some form of reconstituted pork anuses. The Namibians might blanch at that….

          • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

            My brother and I were going to open a restaurant called “Jesus Chicken.” All that would be in the box was fried chicken assholes, and when people got it home and opened it they all said “JESUS!”

          • Wee Mousie

            That wouldl make the Namibans more acceptable to the Republican Party

        • janecita

          We just need to tell Christie that this asshole is a public school teacher, that should get him going.

      • janecita

        Hey, some of us like it here!

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Shit, I live in Arizona…I’m the last to cast stones.

          • janecita

            To be fair, we have a lot of stinkers here:-)

          • HarryButtle

            I was born in New Jersey and live in Arizona now! Out of the landfill and into the fire.

    • Kat Anyperson

      Or PA. There are so many deer and so few predators here, were it not for hunters we would have a lot more residents dying of deer-related traffic accidents.

      Heck, they’ve started calling the cities Deer Nirvana and Deer Heaven in local papers because they just wander around grazing on manicured lawns all day.

      • SterWonk

        I have co-workers in Pittsburgh and the surrounding areas. One of them refers to deer as “rats with antlers”.

    • Wee Mousie

      Following the advice of our ancestors, Christie would be the only one who should be allowed to kill a 3,000 pound rhino. According to the brighter lights amongst our forefathers, one should only shoot what one can eat.

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    How long before they start auctioning off rights for rich people to hunt The Most Dangerous Game?

    • Lancelot Link

      The Tulsa Sheriff’s Department already offers that.

  • Fly

    Isn’t Ben Carson a black RINO

    • cousin itt

      Or a rare black Dodo.

    • JohnnyZhivago2

      That would be Colin Powell.

      • cousin itt

        You mean the accessory to a crime against humanity?

  • Sam Hain

    “I don’t think it could have brought more awareness to the black rhino.”

    So killing shit is cool cuz…publicity.
    So by that logic if someone were to kill trophy hunters then we’d all pay more attention to theses sad, overcompensating “men” w/ lil’ weewies….OK.

    • JohnnyZhivago2

      Could have made a video game: Angry Black Rhinos

    • Fly

      If black rino’s had more awareness it would have gotten that fucker.

    • DemmeFatale

      Reminds me of how “exposure bucks” are cool.

      • eggsacklywright

        Or exposure doe?

  • “Each year it targets several older rhinos that are no longer able to breed but still pose a deadly threat to younger males.”
    This is bad news for Jim Bob Duggar.

    • JAWs

      No he still has 200 more kids to conceive.

      • Msgr_Moment

        Maybe the missus should be auctioned off.

  • Anarchy Pony

    Just hunt white tail, douche.

    • cousin itt

      Oh I’m sure he’s popular with the ladies.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Jungle fever, brah.

    • Kat Anyperson

      ikr? Dude can use an atlatl if he wants a challenge.

    • Vecciojohn

      I have no luck with white tail. I’m going to try hitting on black chicks for a while.

  • shastakoala

    That’s a lot of rhino jerkey.

  • zerosumgame0005

    Oh my, a oil trust fund babby getting his caged “hunt” on. Gee no way he could have used a trank gun and sent that trophy to a nice retirement instead of pumping high velocity death pellets from hiding into an old guy…I bet that severed head brings his living room together.

    • cessnadriver

      It’s a “look at the cool stuff I get to have because my greatest achievement was being born rich” room.

    • Wee Mousie

      Brings the room together? I hope it pulls down the wall and collapses the fucker’s house.

  • Tom_Has_Doubts

    It’s only a matter of time…

    • guppy06

      Hunting Belgians?

      • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

        Please?

      • Msgr_Moment

        Tasty in mayonnaise.

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      Oh, that’s an arrowhead, I thought it was a trowel and was all ” that movie poster makes no sense”

      • H0mer0

        In “The Cask of Amontillado” Isn’t there some guy who gets lured into a cellar and sealed in behind a brick wall as he is looking for the Amontillado? He prolly used a trowel.
        Besides, aren’t living beings considered “soft targets”?

  • NerdWithNoName

    Hey! I’m an old male and I’m a jerk. I hope no one decides to cull me.

    • Just leave the younger breeding males alone and you should be fine.

      • Wee Mousie

        Just remember, when a rhinoceros mates with a human, it mates for life.*

        * Not the rhinoceros’, but the human’s.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Don’t cull me, bro.

    • HarryButtle

      Are you white or black? It makes a difference…

    • Mehmeisterjr

      The GOP has a plan for that in the works. It’s called Social Security Reform.

  • ThePuckStopsHere

    The animals crime was Rhino-ing while black of course.

  • cousin itt

    Does the Dallas Safari Club take a wide stance on its members?

  • Does he get the Ancient Chinese Magic Dick Powder that comes with the horn . . . or was that the whole point in shooting the poor ol’ beastie in the first place?

    • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

      Ancient Chinese Magic Dick Powder you say… And only $350,000?

      Asking for a friend.

      • Wee Mousie

        Do you have any idea how much Viagra you can buy on the Internet for 350,000 dollars?

        • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

          Down to the exact number of pill, yes.

  • DemmeFatale

    Fuckin’ Texas!
    (And don’t tell me how cool Austin is.)

  • janecita

    Texas really owns the patent for “horrible human beings”. Is every person from Texas a douche bag?

    • Anarchy Pony

      No, but it’s a very high percentage.

    • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

      I worked on the first two of this guy’s campaigns in Texas. He was the anti-douchbag.

      https://tshaonline.org/handbook/online/articles/fra98

      • janecita

        What an amazing man. Too bad that he died so young.

    • Kat Anyperson

      My cousin is a teacher in Dallas. She is so dedicated to protecting her students she has adopted some when she discovered abuse in their homes and the kids had no where else to turn.

      So, not every person in Texas is a douchebag…. although her son *was* murdered in cold blood by a man who is currently free on bail, so I’d say the ratio is pretty high. :/

      • Biff52

        No good deed goes unpunished.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      The Derpweeds are ubiquitous in Tejas. They are everywhere, seed like crazy. they produce nothing useful, are hideous to deal with and when they take over an area pretty much choke out anything that tries to establish a foothold. There are still some flowers in Tejas but they are spread thin and not easy to find.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Hey, at least he didn’t drive drunk or rape a littte girl or something.

    • Fly

      He hasn’t been caught yet.

    • I have a feeling that if there were an impoverished nation somewhere raffled off rape after a night of drunk racing, he’d be first in line. “Hey…it’s legal in their country!”

      • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

        Cough, ehem, cough, Thailand…

  • Latverian Diplomat

    So, given that only very specific rhinos were legitimate targets, I’m guessing this guy had a teem of guides who basically took him out and said “You stand here, look that way, see that one over there, point your gun at it, aim carefully, shoot.”

    And like all hunters who go through these carefully curated hunting experiences (like the guys who “hunt” farmed quail) Knowlton thinks he’s had a real, manly, outdoorsy experience, instead of a charade for numbskulls.

    I don’t blame the Tanzanians at all, culling can be useful in managing a population in a disrupted ecosystem. But it’s too bad it has to be financed by catering to boneheads.

    • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

      He’s also got a PH* or two standing beside him in case he chickens out or just wings the rhino and it takes umbrage.

      *Professional Hunter

    • Biff52

      Sadly, wealth has been concentrated amongst the boneheads.

      • Wee Mousie

        Amongst themselves they refer to themselves as “hard headed” businessmen.

        Meh! To-may-to/ to-mah-to.

  • Callyson

    “I felt like from day one it was something benefiting the black rhino,” Knowlton reflected just moments after the hunt ended. “Being on this hunt, with the amount of criticism it brought and the amount of praise it brought from both sides, I don’t think it could have brought more awareness to the black rhino.”

    This asshole reminds me of a thief who tells the victims “Well, now you know better: I did you a solid.”

  • Lazy Media

    Somewhere, a bloodthirsty plutocrat is trying to figure out how to legalize hunting the most dangerous game. Poachers, nobody likes them, right? Surely there’s a government desperate enough to license poacher hunting. Displaying the trophies might be problematic, though. Stupid, politically correct 21st Century.

    • Vecciojohn

      Maybe they can learn from this example. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kVzqzcgNcBE

      • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

        Nearly got it boinked, as well!

      • guppy06

        North American English with French overdub? Pffft, he’s just a Canadian, doesn’t count!

        And it sounds like his wife just stood there filming it.

      • TheBidenator

        Hah! He was bow hunting too…is there any way to photoshop Nuge’s face onto the guy? Talk about catharsis…

      • Wee Mousie

        You go, Bambi!

    • guppy06

      Who will hunt the poacher poachers?

      • MyLovelyNose

        More important–who will poach the testicles?

        • r m reddicks

          In white whine?

    • Biff52

      Convince the Chinese that Great White Hunter testicles are an aphrodisiac?

  • JD Mulvey

    Wonderful education for all of us this young Master Knowlton is providing.

    You know, if I rob a bank, I’m really providing a valuable service to humanity by raising the awareness of the scourge of bank robbery. If I go take a crap in the reservoir, I’m perfoming important education on the vulnerability of our water supply.

    Murdering some puppies? A powerful public statement on the fragility of life.

    It’s all about raising our collective consciousness.

    • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

      That guy in your av… I know him from somewhere…

  • Mehmeisterjr

    For his next trick, he’ll get a permit to frack the Grand Canyon. To raise awareness.

    • beatbort

      I’m hoping for his next trick he tries to re-create Evel Kneivel’s leap over the Snake River Canyon. He pays $500,000 for the privilege and he and his bike are never seen again ..

  • A movie idea!: Corey, not just a Texas douchebag, but THE Texas douchebag hires a young person (male or female, it doesn’t matter) to inventory his dead animal collection. While cataloging the items, the young person finds a box made of rare Afromosia with carved arcane figures on it. He/she opens it, releasing an ancient Congolese curse. The curse brings all of the animals back to “life”. The heads are flesh, but the bodies are ghostly. They go on a rampage through the mansion attacking everyone they see. The animals are too rage filled to separate the good from the bad…plus, they’re you know…animals. In the beginning, several of Corey’s guests are killed in gruesome and inventive ways. (Can we get a Dick Cheney lookalike? I envision a scene where he tries to dispatch an attacking lion but accidentally shoots his friend in the face blows his friends head off. The lion uses this opportunity to disembowel Cheney…slowly) Meanwhile, the cataloger has managed to gather together a group of mansion staff (message about class) and maybe one or two spouses of hunters who are actually against hunters (message about environmentalism) and tries to lead them to safety (think Poseidon Adventure with Texans). Corey hasn’t been idle during this time. He too has been leading an escape party made up of his hunter friends. They have some of the mansion staff with them too, but just to use them as bait and distractions (another message about class).

    Finally, both groups wind up at the same time in the room that leads to safety. A showdown ensues. Ultimately all of the catalogers group escapes, none of the hunters do and there’s a final show down between employer and employee (another class message). Corey gains the upper hand only to be gored by a ghostly springbok (another environmentalism message) and the young person escapes.

    Music swells, roll credits.

    • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

      You should write.

      Oh, well, I guess you do!

      • You should see my blog. I’ve had hundre…er, doze…a few visitors.

        • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

          URL or GYFO!

          • See my profile.

          • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

            OK, so I’m riding my road bike up this little pass that separates one valley from anther on Sunday near where I live, doing 6-7 km/hour, and I hear all this squealing from the farmhouse on my left. I kinda look over and don’t see anything, but suddenly I hear the sound of a bolt, not a bullet but maybe an air pressure driven bolt. And at that exact second the squealing stops.

            Yeah, they slaughter the pigs on Sundays here. And I read your blog.

          • Thank you.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      “Born Free – Rebooted”

    • Wee Mousie

      At the beginning of the sequel, before the opening credits, Cheney is seen lying on a striker bed, surrounded by millions of dollars of technology, to keep him alive.

      Two men enter. One is a taxidermist and the other the “friend” whose head he blew off. Both the head and body have been stuffed and mounted, with animatronic devices fitted to work his jaw, and a speaker mounded in his chest cavity under his shirt.

      The “friend” is set up with an electric eye, so that every time the door opens the “friend’s” jaws begin to move and a simulation of his voices is heard to speak.

      “I’m terribly sorry, Dick, old pal, for stepping in your way and ruining your shot,” the “friend” is heard to say, “Damn it, Dick, it was all my own damn fault!”

  • D_C_Wilson

    So, basically, he dropped a few hundred thou on a canned hunt. What a manly man.

  • Kat Anyperson

    Here we go… appropriate counter Nice Time. Humans can fuck things up, but we can get em right too on occasion.

    Heres a video of a lion (rescued from cruelty) playing in grass for the first time in his 13 years of life.

    http://blog.theanimalrescuesite.com/lion-grass/

    • Msgr_Moment

      Kittens, yeah!

    • shoeflyin

      That is beautiful, thanks

  • guppy06

    the proceeds will support conservation programs.

    When all the money is held by douchenozzles, only douchenozzles can spend money.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      And judging by what they spend it on, we’re all fucked.

  • VandeGraf

    I can’t think of invective sleazy enough to cover this self-absorbed asshole. He gives narcissistic trust-fund punks a bad name. The problem is, you can’t teach a fool anything important, so he’s beyond reclamation.

  • Me not sure

    I’ve got no problem with this as long as he has to personally eat every bite of that fucker.

    • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

      Gonna need a couple kilos of dick salt for that one.

      • Me not sure

        They don’t come pre-salted? Who knew?

  • Biff52

    All this talk about awareness, yet young Master Knowlton has none self-awareness…

  • cessnadriver

    Is is wrong to wish that the rhino gored this putz before dying?

  • Helena Handbag

    No caption required.

    • willi0000000

      nice handbag.

      • Helena Handbag

        A girl should have a bag for every occasion darling

      • cousin itt

        Special Memorial Day sale at Hell’s Dept Store.

  • dshwa

    I will never understand killing something just to watch it die. Killing to eat I get, but just for the sake of killing? I don’t get it

    • Msgr_Moment

      Well, there was this guy in Reno once…

      • MyLovelyNose

        Yeah, but that guy went to Folsom.

        • NotALiar

          Yea but he really came into his own at San Quentin.

    • ohpaleasegivemeabreak

      Desire for power.

      Ineffective male sexual organs – possible too small to be of much use – like James in the first season or two of Sex and the City – Gerken.

  • RoyalUglyDude

    I hope this man dies lonely and alone.

    • spacecat in space

      Of genetic-specific necrotizing fasciitis that starts in his groin.

  • JAWs

    Give him a break, Wonkette. He’s only doing this because the commie pinko libs won’t let the 1% hunt the poorz like they REALLY want to.

  • TheBidenator

    You know I’m all about bringing awareness to endangered species but the only difference between a poacher and this guy is a license. Let’s not break our arms patting ourselves on the back there great white hunter….also what a fucking ghoulish room. I’ve never understood trophy hunting, it’s a totally disgusting practice for guys who are very insecure in their masculinity- MRA’s idolize these douchebags for a reason.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Yet another fine argument for progressive taxation.

  • beatbort

    I despair that people this evil are awarded with money and power in this world.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Interesting thought: does having money and power make one evil? Not everyone of course, probably, but it doth seem that those who never actually had to work for it tend to, well, not be the goodest folk on the planet. Funny that

  • SadDemInTex

    That trophy room…Norman Bates land. I can imagine him with a knife in a shower….(cue violins).

  • senigma

    There’s more sport in getting a cab on a rainy day in Manhattan than there was in this “hunt”.. I think there should be a rule that they have to eat whatever they shoot.

  • Enfant Terrible

    Eat what you kill or GTFO.

  • Biff52
  • Joseph

    I’ll kick in $500 to start a fund to auction a liccense on Knowlton.

    • Wee Mousie

      Knowlton is a big enough dick already. Wwhat he need is dickendectomy, except there is nothing undickish to leave behind.

  • TootsStansbury

    Greedy, conspicuous consumption asshole is a greedy, corrupt motherfucker. I won’t continue, it would violate the Rules; but it does involve something about a wall.

  • deanbooth

    Maybe the Humane Society could raise money with an auction to euthanize pets.

    • KenRob

      Huckabee’s son would be first in line, only he’d ask to “Do It His Way.”

  • Ilgattomorte

    Many years ago I worked in a museum with a young African man named Muwanna. He had worked in the hotel service trade back home, before he moved to the U.S. We became good friends and he would tell me about his life back there and the trials of dealing with wealthy assholes, especially those from America.

    He and the other employees would have to cowtow to these people who treated them quite rudely, at least to their face. I won’t go into detail on what actually occurred in the kitchens, bars or empty guest rooms when these guests weren’t looking, but use your imagination and then double it.

    If Mr. Knowlton is even half the asshole that he appears to be, then I take great pleasure in the belief that, in addition to an old Black Rhino, he has returned home with a fine collection of African DNA.

  • elpinche

    Remember asshole game hunter Ian Gibson who died after being trampled by this magnificent creature?

    http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/elephant-kills-professional-game-hunter-ian-gibson-9.gif

    Well, I have the rest of the video. When elephants win they make a big mess. I only hope the same for that piece of shit Knowlton.

    • Me not sure

      I thank you for showing (for here anyway) remarkable restraint. Hooray for Pachyderms of the non-Republican persuasion! ….With thundering votes

  • AnOuthouse

    Assholes are assholes.

  • AnOuthouse

    You would feel differently if you ever had to spend time with an old crabby black rhino. They just go on and on about what they ate yesterday, the baseball game they just watched, and how the kids won’t stay off their lawn.

    • Enfant Terrible

      Do they tie onions to their belts?

  • Wee Mousie

    Now, to raise even more money and awareness about the plight of the black rhinoceros, we are going to auction off a permit to hunt Corey Knowlton, whose age has outstripped his intelligence, and is useless for breeding.

  • btwbfdimho

    This is probably his Maserati…

  • mtn_philosoph

    It sure sounds creepy and all, but I am not so sure that this was an evil thing, either in intention or in execution. If the older males chase off the younger males and essentially hoard large numbers of fertile females without mating with them, then removing them from the picture would presumably increase the birth rate and help the species return to a healthy and sustainable population. The Namibian conservation ministry could do the culling themselves at their own expense, or they could auction off permits and have wealthy first-worlders do the job, at their personal expense.

    I don’t feel bad that some rich white guy put up the money and got the permit. What other private money source would Namibia tap to support this effort? Rich white dudes have the money for this; if you want to get some of it, you need to offer something to the banker. Namibia essentially contracted with a private individual to carry out a needed service, and had the contractor cover all of the expenses.

    Quite a few US states do exactly the same thing when they sell deer hunting (and sometimes moose hunting) permits every year. The permit fees are a big source of revenue for the states.

    I don’t care that the dude hauled the carcass back to the US and had it mounted, since he did all of it at his own expense and didn’t stick the Namibian government with any bills. Mounting it and displaying it in his own home is his business. I don’t hunt nor have I ever hunted, and I don’t care for stuffed hunting trophies. But hey, it’s not my house.

    • gingerland62

      They can separate it from the herd. The term donation should only be used when nothing is gained in return. At some point we need to decide these animals are more valuable to us alive than dead. I stopped reading after the 1st paragraph because I think you started comparing black rhino to deer.

  • Arcturus

    How could this entire piece be written without one single use of the word ‘douchebag’?

  • GarlandRemington

    Way to go Corey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    If they have to cull the herd, I suppose there’s no reason not to take money from rich douchebags who get their rocks off by shooting animals.
    Calling it a “hunt” is a bit much: I imagine they led this dolt around for a while, “tracking” the rhino (along its well-worn path) before “discovering” the rhino in its usual hangout.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Old male rhinos are apparently jerks, we guess. Boo jerk rhinos, down with jerk rhinos!”

    All I can think about is John McCain shaking his fist and yelling at a passing cloud.

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