Hi, I'm Rick Scott, this is what I look like.

Florida is having quite a dumb fight right now, simply because gross reptile Gov. Rick Scott refuses to take federal money to pay for low-income people’s healthcare if it’s got Obamacare all over it. So let’s shut down the government!

Gov. Rick Scott told agency heads to prepare for the worst Thursday, asking them to list only the state’s most critical needs in the event the Legislature can’t reach an agreement on a budget that doesn’t expand health care to the poor. […]

“Prepare a list of critical state services our citizens cannot lose in the event Florida is forced to shut down on July 1st,” Scott wrote.

In writing the letter, Scott is further digging in his heels in his refusal to expand health care coverage to 800,000 Floridians, a move that could cost the state more than $1 billion in federal money to help hospitals treat the poor, which is called the low-income pool.

In the event that they are FORCED to shut down! So, who is forcing them to do that? Rick Scott is forcing them to do that because, as we all know by now, he is an asshole. Because you see, the Florida Senate was okay with expanding Medicaid, because as yr Wonk has explained before, the Senate is full of corporate whores, but they’re okay with being practical on occasion. The House, on the other hand, is full of morons, Jesus freaks and other sorts of characters who pick the corn out of their own poop, and they can’t handle the idea of expanding Medicaid, because that’s part of evil socialist Obamacare, therefore it’s different from taking federal money in other non-Obama ways.

It’s not that Scott isn’t cool with taking other kinds of sweet federal cash, either. You see, up to now, Florida has had a thing called the Low Income Pool (LIP), which exists to help pay for healthcare for poors, and that is totally fine. Scott would like to keep that thing, which is less effective and more expensive than the Medicaid expansion under Obamacare, because on top of being an asshole, he is holy fuck dumb. Oh, and LIP expires in June, which is why we’re having this current conversation about shutting down the government.

Scott says we should definitely have a conversation about how to give healthcare to the poors — as long as it’s not Obamacare — but that it’s just TOO FUCKING HARD to do that in a special legislative session:

“I believe the debate on how to increase access to healthcare while lowering cost and improving quality is an important one to have. However, it will need to be much longer and more thoughtful than we have time to accommodate during a budget special session,” he wrote.

Scott told agency heads that he is preparing a budget proposal that “excludes controversial and divisive issues like Medicaid expansion or using Florida tax dollars to fund the federal Low Income Pool program.”

“Controversial and divisive issues” are clearly above Rick Scott’s pay grade, and the same goes for his mouthbreather friends in the Florida House. It used to be that Republicans would pay lip service to their more idiot constituents, but eventually bend over for their corporate overlords, who, in this case, are happy to say “Jesus, let’s just expand Medicaid and MOVE ON.” But that was the old days, and being Gov. Rick Scott is NO FUN unless you get to do exciting things like shut down the government and fuck poor people right in the ass, just to prove how much you hate President Obama.



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  • JustPixelz

    Gov Scott has ways to shut that whole thing down.

  • Shibusa

    Needz moar Columbia/HCA $1.7 billion Medicare fraud…

  • JustPixelz

    “gross reptile Gov. Rick Scott”

    I am Rick Scott, ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8!

    • Also one of the biggest Medicare scammers, EVUH!

    • Antonin Dvorak

      That is a Lrrrrrbelous statement!

      • data_ninja

        I’m not sure I’d want to watch “Floridarama”. It’d be a glimpse of a dystopian present.

    • SterWonk

      Oh Ndnd, it’s time to rein in your husband again…

    • JohnBull

      I’m Rick Scott and so’s my wife!

  • exinkwretch

    France. He’s from France.

    • BackDoorMan

      ISWYDT. Nicely done.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …as a Florida resident I can assure you that the chromosomally challenge knuckle draggers in the senate look like astro physicist compared to the members of the house

    • memzilla

      Must be all the Alabama that leaks over into Talahassee.

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …I honestly think we may be contaminating Alabama, not the other way around

  • memzilla

    Dear Gubbner Skeletor:

    To over half of America, shutting down Florida is not as big a threat as you think it is.

  • janecita

    Hard to feel sorry for people in Florida. This jerk just got reelected.

    • If Jesus wanted the poors to have health care, he would have made sure they were all white!

      – Panhandle Bible-thumpers

      • kindness

        I’d be happy if Jesus made the poors vote but apparently Jesus doesn’t like me being happy.

  • goonemeritus

    Based on the limited time I have spent in Florida the most
    critical services seem to be strip clubs and pawn shops.

    • david green

      Cheap T-Shirt store libel!

      • BackDoorMan

        … chintzy Seashell Memories Souvenir store libelz!

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    It would be funny except for all the misery and death. But since we’re talking about Florida, maybe the misery is already included.

  • Skwerl King

    “other sorts of characters who pick the corn out of their own poop”

    Is this something we are not supposed to do now? Because… um.. nothing.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      nothin wrong with a little second harvesting.

      • Skwerl King

        I’ll never look at the Second Harvest Food Bank the same way again.

        • Jen_Baker_VA

          To be fair, people only did that when the lived in horrendously inhospitable environments where there was so little food it ain’t even funny. And it was a sanitary process though certainly not something I am willing to try.

          • david green

            We should all be in favor of recycling.

          • BackDoorMan

            Compared to some impoverished people who eat dirt – literally – to survive, recycled corn from poop almost sounds preferable. Not to mention those who are forced to drink their own urine because potable water is so scarce. Isn’t this a wonderful planet we all share?

  • FauxAntocles

    Rick Scott announces he is running for Preznit in 3, 2…

  • Reddishrabbit

    We all know who’s fault this really is. Nobama!!!1!!!1!!
    His devilish trick of expending Medicare, then have the Supreme Court make it voluntary just to trap poor republicans.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …in the pantheon of governors that deserve an ATOMIC UPPERCUT to the GONADS, Rick Scott is a solid #3

    • Lot_49

      Somebody’s been watching professional rasslin’ again…

  • Nounverb911

    Wouldn’t the state of Florida be better off if Scott shut himself down?

  • Tallmutha

    The House, on the other hand, is full of morons, Jesus freaks and other sorts of characters who pick the corn out of their own poop

    At least this puts them one up on Texas, where the House is full of characters who pick corn out of other people’s poop.

    • Skwerl King

      How else are you going to tell if the poors are cheating on their foods stamps if you don’t examine their poop?

      • kindness

        Entrails. Be thankful the right wingnutz haven’t discovered reading entrails is a twofer. 1) you can read the poorz entrails to see if they’ve been living to large for their poor. 2) when you cut their entrails out to read them the poorz die.

  • Fly

    Rick knows that if you give healthcare to the poor moochers, republican Jesus will forsake him.

  • deanbooth

    Ponce de Scott has discovered the mythical Fountain of Derp.

  • Florida’s “Low Income Pool” kills more chilrens than guns. Just ask Ted Nugent.

    • CapnFatback

      In this case, he’d probably be right.

      • HogeyeGrex

        It probably doesn’t kill very many guns.

  • MrBlobfish

    Gov. Rick Scott shuts down the gov’t with hilarious consequences. Let’s watch…

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Right at the beginning of tourist season too. This ought to be REALLY GOOD.
      I give it ten days, tops.

      • Left Coast Tom

        I thought Florida’s tourist season was mid-winter? At least South Florida…can’t imagine wanting to go there in July for daily thunderstorms, mosquitoes, and hurricanes.

        • bozilingus

          People who live in Florida try to leave during the hottest months and let furriners and Northern peoples endure their vacations in the land of the Giant Rodent God, Mickey.

  • Lizzietish81

    Not even noon and FL makes an appearance.

  • jesuswasablack

    “which is called the low-income pool”
    Yuck I’m stayin out of that nasty pool those people don’t wash!

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    Still trying to get it right today. LIP is more expensive than ACA, but we want to keep that because it does not have the stench of the O on it? Is that it?

  • weejee

    Does this mean the airports will get shut down? Asking for some expert witless persons who were to soon be going to Miami.

    • Lot_49

      ¡No es un problemo! Just fly to Savannah and drive down.

      Better yet, fly to Savannah and stay there. Very cool place.

      • jmk

        Is Mrs. Wilkes’ still going? That was maybe the best lunch I ever had outside of Paris.

        • Lot_49

          Never been there; haven’t been to SAS in a while. Still got a web site, so maybe so!

          • jmk

            It’s worth the wait in line… believe me.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    It almost makes the OT Yaweh seem reasonable in his spat with Noah. At least his flooding is over after 2 months.

  • jesuswasablack

    “However, it will need to be much longer and more thoughtful than we have time to accommodate”

    Yeah I’ve only been governor for five years and before that I was busy ripping off Medicaid, what do I know about helping the unwashed masses obtain healthcare? See how shiny my head is!

    • MrBlobfish

      And they’ve known that LIP was ending for how long? Well over a year?

      • SterWonk

        And the ACA has been the law of the land for well over five years now.

    • david green

      Ooh! Shiny!

  • JVisconti

    he best leave his visage off the soon to be GoFundMe page and go with a more likeable one like a gator.

    • bozilingus

      This will sound silly, but what if the state governments started GoFundMe sites for all the items we are typically taxed to pay for. Citizens could then choose what programs they would be willing to fund. (I would love for my Federal Income Tax forms to have check boxes asking where to allocate my tax dollars.)

  • Lot_49

    “Prepare a list of critical state services our citizens cannot lose…”

    Let’s think, what would go at the top of that list? Here’s a hint: its initials are medical care.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Something we could afford to lose: Rick Scott.

    • Me not sure

      That leaves out the lottery, almost everybody loses .

  • Mehmeisterjr

    This article by reporter Steve Bousquet analyses the entire megafuckup:

    One passage that caught my eye:

    “Scott continues to use the term ‘continuation budget’ — a term that he has not defined and has never been used in the Legislature and does not appear in Florida statutes. However, a ‘continuation budget’ is a common practice in Louisiana, where Scott’s chief of staff, Melissa Sellers, worked for Republican Gov. Bobby Jindal before coming to Florida.”

    When you are attempting to demolish an entire state government, you can do no better than to hire a Bobby Jindal-approved henchwoman.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      Makes you wonder when, o when, the voting masses that keep electing these dipshits are going to realize that they are out to destroy the states, not save them.

      • Lot_49

        The voting masses are okay with destroying government, as long as they keep getting their disability/Soshecurity/civil-service retirement checks.

      • ohpaleasegivemeabreak

        Truth is – I don’t think they will be satisfied until there are LITERALLY dozens of people dying on the streets from starvation every day in America.

        Maybe not even then – because I know several gagger types who RELISH the though of people they hate (because they effin hate everyone except their hateful useless selves) DYING on the streets after lengthy periods of massive suffering. I know these types exist because they have made it clear in no uncertain terms that they wish to witness massive suffering of the people they hate.

        They are CONSUMED with hatred and a desire to witness misery and be the cause of much more in the future.

        Such sick bastards.

        I’m losing hope for our country.

      • bozilingus

        /Snark off… This will only change when progressives stand up on their feet on every Election Day and march, en masse, to vote!

        • david green

          Sure, that will happen.

  • beatbort

    Fiddling while Rome drowns.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Or in our case, Naples.

      • Me not sure

        Ah, to be in Italy in the Springtim….Oh, …..It’s Florida.

        • 24601
          • JVisconti

            looks like the high renaissance is still thriving.

          • beatbort

            The one in the pool is Leonardo da Hatfield. And t’other one is Michelangelo Snopes.

          • Me not sure

            Pour me another glass of Soave, Gianni.

          • Logic of Color

            I wonder how many innocent children that pool has slaughtered.

          • david green

            I think those very people just outside of Milan, Italy.

      • jmk

        Or Venice.

  • FZsdaughter

    What the hell is up with all these legislators refusing to legislate?!! They have ONE JOB, and it’s not sucking the Koch’s off for kickbacks! (oh wait, I guess it is.)

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      It is win win for them. If they shut down the gubmint, there is smaller gubmint (except their pre-approved grifting partners in big business). If the other side caves and compromises, they STILL get to give most of the tax payer money to pre-approved grifting partners.
      The only people who lose: the poor schmucks who voted them in, and the poor schmucks who didn’t vote them in, oh and also everyone who makes money from the government, like teachers, doctors, lawyers, judges, the people who run hot dog stands outside of city hall…etc etc etc. So pretty much everyone who is not them or one of their BB grifting partners.

      • georgiaburning

        Of course, it will be Obama’s fault

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Sucking Kochs is their job and their passion.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Can they leave the Governor and the House off of that list? Because the state can definitely get by just fine – indeed, it will be much better off – if those assholes never set foot in the capital again.

  • fawkedifiknow

    How could he help but to be a total fuckwad, sharing the names of two of the biggest dicks in politics today, Rick Perry and Scott Walker?

  • Me not sure

    Note to self : Pitch Florida State Healthcare Lottery to Scott. Need a new liver? A $1 Renal Rampage
    scratch off ticket and maybe you get one.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      By a daily double and get two kidneys!

      • Me not sure

        See! The money will positively roll in!

  • CapnFatback

    Lizard, meet LIPs.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I’m not advocating (with votes) anything, mind you, but the smart money is investing in rail, feather and tar futures. I’m just sayin’.

    • mailman27

      Votes don’t count in Florida anyways.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “excludes controversial and divisive issues like Medicaid expansion or using Florida tax dollars to fund the federal Low Income Pool program”

    Maybe he can find some dead doctors to hide behind? It seems the Florida Way.

  • Silver lining: George Zimmerman will be paying out-of-pocket after his little ‘run-in’ the other day.

    • jmk

      Look at you, finding the silver lining!!

      Crazy optimist!!

    • david green

      Sounds like a GoFundMe account in 3.. 2.. 1…

  • Relativicus

    “…The House, on the other hand, is full of morons, Jesus freaks and other sorts of characters who pick the corn out of their own poop…”

    Great job, Wonket. The light has just come on in the noggins of two dozen Florida reps about an exciting idea regarding their SNAP program.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz


  • Latverian Diplomat

    So, basically, Florida not only wants a free lunch from the Feds, but they also insist that it be Cheetos and Slurpees. and not that yucky “food” stuff.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    To bad for Florida. You gave this jackoff the keys to the state house and now will live with his Derpassholepublican shut down of your state government. Next time, you should try thinking really hard about the future before voting. I’m comfortable in the belief that Jesus wants you to use wisely the few brain cells more than a squid that god’s infinite wisdom provided to you.

    • chicken thief

      But they have their freedum guns and freedum unwanted babies so it’s a great day to be a Floridian!

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Yep. Let’s hear it for freedumb.

    • A Big Sarcastic Fairy!

      I sure as shit didn’t vote for this asshat.

  • Mary Sandoras

    So I guess the next step for Scott is to announce his run for the presidency.

    • georgiaburning

      He looks like VP material if Jeb or Romney lead the ticket. Got to have some crazy or else the wingnuts might stay home

      • Bill Slider

        Too bad the US Constitution says that the President and Vice President must be from different states. I seem to remember Mr Chaney moving from Texas to Wyoming so as to accommodate that provision.

        • david green

          I think the “move” of Cheney was for just as long as it took to sign the form. After all, the rules didn’t really apply to him.

  • VandeGraf

    Rick Scott is divisive, and that’s not controversial. He is also a hypocrite, and probably a stubborn old dumb person. Then again, probably not probably.

  • DahBoner
  • Paperless Tiger

    In these times of deindustrialisation, it’s comforting to know Republicans can still manufacture a crisis.

    • Riggsveda

      You win the thread!

  • schmannity

    And guess which GOPeePee presidential candidate used to be the Speaker of this august legislative body?

    • ohpaleasegivemeabreak

      Mr OPs Credit Cards Hisseff – MAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRCo Ruuuuuuuuubio.

  • Steverino247

    People of Florida!

    I want you to enjoy every fucking minute of this, you stupid bastards.

    • Zippy

      the ones who most need to are the least capable of doing so,

  • VandeGraf

    Guys like this are a sort of anti-Robin Hood. Take from the poor and give to the rich.

  • chascates

    If we can just figure out a way for Scott to skim some money off the Medicaid expansion he’d OK it in a minute.

    • docterry6973

      You don’t just give something like that away.

  • Jinmichigan

    Sympathy for Florida? Pretty thin from where I stand.

  • mcnc

    Give us your Lupins!

  • TheBidenator

    Rick Scott checks his account: yep the Medicare fraud money is still all there…that’s right, fuck government funding health care!

  • bobbert

    THERE’s our Floriduh story.

  • JAWs

    “What are you dumb Libtards talking about? This is all Obama’s fault!”
    –Luis Lang

    PS: “Gimme money, you lazy moochers!”

  • ohpaleasegivemeabreak

    All they had to do is to complete the criminalization of poverty.

    Then they have those LOVELY guys from Wackenhut come in and open up some new prisons for the incarcerated poor, disabled and elderly and feed the inmates out of boxes marked “Not for Human Consumption” the way those Wacky Wackenhut guys were doing to the inmates in their OK prison a few years back.

    Yay ‘murika

  • Chick_Tract_Fil_A

    Please join me in prayer that eventually Rick Scott will earn himself a big fat LIP.

  • SprayedMilkOutMyNose

    We need poor people. NEED them. If we didn’t have poor people, our big screen tvs would cost too much, as EVERYONE could afford to have one. Then we would have poor people again, because the people who make big screen tvs could realize, “hey…we can’t SUPPLY enough to keep up with DEMAND, which means we can charge MORE for our big screen tvs.” Our economy must have poor people and will constantly readjust to create poor people. Its facts! And facts is facts…

    So why are there assholes out there who want to just crush the poor under their bootheels. I mean really, just grind them into the dirt, knowing full well if poor person “A” pulls-up-his-socks and becomes “unpoor” someone will be there to take his place amongst the unwashed. Why can’t poor people who come down with cancer or emphysema or a broken skull get help like more well off people? Where in the ten commandments does it say “Thou shalt fuck the poor in any orifice thou shalt choose as often as thou shalt like”?


  • fratdawgg23

    Instead of putting the healthcare of our own people first and foremost, we Americans would rather spend billions of tax dollars on spreading “freedom” and spilling blood.

    Sadly, we Americans are too docile to demand healthcare as a right.

  • Pauline Szwaczkowski-Estrada

    All you need to know about a “Great” Country is shown in how they treat their poor. If anyone thinks that America is the “Greatest Country in the world’ then they just aren’t paying attention! A great country takes care of her people and provides healthcare at no cost or at least minimal. not here, 1 in 4 people are bankrupt because of medical bills that just couldn’t be paid to the for profit insurance companies.Our American jobs have been outsourced to China and India so the “Job Creators’ can pay those people slave wages of 2 dollars a day as opposed to paying us a living wage and keeping the jobs in the USA which is the right thing to do! Yep, God Bless America because she sure needs a HUGE blessing!!!!

  • KT

    Rick Scott is a Moron and so are the house republicans and every Floridian who voted for Scott.

    Rick Scott says ” The medicaid program is a broken system”
    He forgot that he already fixed it by privatizing it so it should no longer be broken. It is now private managed care insurance which is superior since it is private. Hello!!

    He is also basically saying that “No health care at all ” is better than Medicaid. Really so why are we abusing the people who are still on medicaid. Should he not be fighting to improve the health care of the existing medicaid recipients by taking them out of such a broken system.

    Rick Scott says ” It is important to have a conversation about how to help the poor people with no insurance but the special session is not the place and time to do it”

    He also didn’t think the regular session was the time and place to do it either and they had 60 days then. Also they have had 2 years prior to that after the supreme court upheld Obama care. Nope he couldn’t find time in the past two years to have the conversation. Also he has been governor for 4.5 years- but nope that wasn’t enough time either. Apparently there is never enough time and there will never be enough time. I suspect that Rick Scott Hopes all the poor people in Florida will leave and go to the other states that expanded Medicaid and he can then claim to have eradicated poverty in the state.

    Rick Scott says ” We cannot trust the federal government to honor their commitments- just look they are refusing to continue funding the LIP and all these poor people will suffer. Because they are ending the LIP this proves that I should not expand medicaid. However I will sue them to get them to keep the LIP.

    He is such a bright bulb that it did not occur to him that if he can successfully sue the government over LIP that he could just as easily expand medicaid and then if they do not fund it in the future that he can “Sue them” over not honoring the medicaid expansion. Just how dumb is this guy.

    Rick Scott says ” My heart breaks for those poor Floridians who Obama is refusing to help by ending LIP. I care about them so much I will fight for them to get this emergency care.”

    He thinks that it is much better to have a diabetic show up at a hospital with gangrene and get the devastating news that their leg will have to be amputated- but hey it is covered by LIP-yippee!! Vs the medicaid alternative. They get private insurance and sees a doctor routinely who monitors their diabetes. Puts them on medication and makes sure they do not need to end up in the hospital emergency room in the first place. Seems to me that Obama loves and cares about poor
    Floridians more than the House republicans and Rick Scott does. I rest my case.

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