Sexting Missouri House Speaker Resigns, For Sexting, KTHXBAI!

Well, that was pretty darn quick! Just a day after his sexxytime texts with a college freshman intern became public, Republican Missouri Speaker of the House John Diehl is stepping down from both the speakership and his seat in the state legislature, to spend more time with his Emoji.

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In a brief press release, Diehl said that he was proud to have had the opportunity to cut a bunch of taxes and do some gerrymandering, but acknowledged he'd made "a serious error in judgment by sending the text messages" and said that he was truly sorry. Except that he's super-really sorry, for real, he wants us to know: "Too often we hear leaders say they're sorry but are unwilling to accept the consequences. understand that, as a leader, I am responsible for my actions and I am willing to face the consequences."

Diehl didn't specify when the resignation would take place, just that he would leave "in a way that allows for an orderly transition." Presumably, that would include steam-cleaning his office furniture.

It seems awfully unfair, seeing as how Diehl apologized already, you guys, but that wasn't enough? Guess he wasn't quite able to "restore the trust of those closest' to him, after all, and now he must go sit in whatever time-out box the GOP has for straight-marrieds who preach family values and then do more to wreck their own marriages than any sodomites could ever manage to do with their penis cakes. Based on the record of Mark Sanford, look for Rep. Diehl to be running for Congress in 2018, 2020 at the latest.

[ AP / Twitter ]