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Republican presidential “candidate” Mike Huckabee is in trouble with liberals like CBS’s Bob Schieffer for, among other things, appearing in infomercials hawking “Diabetes Solution Kits” (yours for just $19.95!), which encourage healthy eating, exercise, oh and also curing diabetes with cinnamon. Because that’s totally real. Appearing on “Face the Nation,” Huckabee got ALL KINDS of defensive, because first of all, you are not his real mom and you can’t tell him what to do:

“You know, I don’t have to defend everything that I’ve ever done,” Huckabee shrugged. “I’m not doing those infomercials obviously now as a candidate for president.”

“But if that’s the worst thing that somebody can say to me, that I advocated for people that have diabetes, to do something to reverse and stop the incredible pain of that then I’m going to be a heck of a good president.”

See? He’s not doing them anymore, and besides he was just trying to help diabetic-Americans feel better, and now he will make all Americans feel better, by making all the ladies stop saying cusses and ignoring Supreme Court rulings on things like gays. Schieffer, of course, had to ask him a gotcha question, in the form of a statement: “I have diabetes.” Schieffer then asked, also, too, weren’t you “selling pills of some sort?” Oh, that was a tiny part of it, said Huckabee, but it’s all about livin’ right and stuff, so no harm, no foul. (We must repeat, for journalism, that he was hawking a miracle cure where you pray the diabetes away by sprinkling cinnamon on it.)

The liberal science propaganda rag The New York Times points out that “[t]he American Diabetes Association and the Canadian Diabetes Association caution against treatments like the one peddled by the company Mr. Huckabee represents.”

And the Times ALSO points out that Huckabee has done this before, with this one thing where you cure your cancer by rubbing this one page of the Bible on it, we guess:

One ad arriving in January in the inboxes of Huckabee supporters, who signed up for his political commentaries at MikeHuckabee.com, claims there is a miracle cure for cancer hidden in the Bible. The ad links to a lengthy Internet video, which offers a booklet about the so-called Matthew 4 Protocol. It is “free” with a $72 subscription to a health newsletter.

It seems that all kinds of fun advertisers get to hawk their fraudulent wares to the subscribers of the Mike Huckabee newsletter. On top of diabetes and cancer cures that don’t work, they also can buy SURVIVAL FOOD!

In the Times article, wingnut commentator and founder of Red State Erick Erickson, to his credit, describes this sort of marketing as a “plague on conservatives,” because he is obviously aware that hucksters see online wingnuts as particularly low-hanging, easily fooled fruit. Erickson may not like it, but marketing is marketing, and these marketers know their target market. If you’re a wingnut and you go to WorldNetDaily or TownHall.com, ready and willing to absorb dishonest, bigoted swill from the likes of Joseph Farah, Pam Geller and Bryan Fischer, and you’re also willing to cheer for Mike Huckabee’s fearmongering, prudish campaign platform, you are PROBABLY also a wingnut who is willing to believe that you can cure cancer with this one little trick that the “experts” won’t tell you about.

Republican presidential candidates and online fraudsters have one thing in common: they know their audience. Ka-ching, motherfuckers!

[Raw Story / New York Times]

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  • weejee

    low hanging fruit

    Hucksterbee is well endowed and ghey? Who knew?

    • Barf.

      • weejee

        Hey, it’s Monday.

    • chicken thief

      My money is on “absolutely no one”.

    • elviouslyqueer

      DO NOT WANT.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    It’s a great qualification to be the next Republican President. If he can sell that quackery, he can sell anything: abortion bans, privatized social security, a new war or three…

    • MsAnthropesMr

      I think you have the causality backwards. Let’s try this starting with assumptions about the supporters, not the candidates.

      • SullivanSt

        I think the real fault is attempting to distinguish things that are the same.

  • Toomush_Infer

    You’re harshing my Huckabee! buzz….

    • fka_donnie_d

      I heart huckabees?

      • Toomush_Infer

        Cinnamon….let me in….

        • weejee

          I find the Huckster too bass.

          • Toomush_Infer

            I’m waiting for the Nuge’s rendition of “I wanna Huckabee With You”…

          • MrBlobfish

            Well, you can yank me
            And you can crank me
            But don’t you wake up
            And don’t you try to elect me

          • coozledad

            Ah yes, Ted and Huck .The Baconstripes. Coverin’ a little Neil Young for shits and giggles.

            I wanna sell you a cinnamon cure
            you’ll see us together
            shaking down dumbfucks
            My cinnamon cure

          • Blank Ron

            *golf clap*

          • Blank Ron

            *golf clap*

    • chicken thief

      Is a huckabee buzz like a regular buzz but more Jesusy and down homey?

  • fawkedifiknow

    Most of the Huckabee supporters already own the Brooklyn Bridge. They’re S-M-R-T that way.

    • Anarchy Pony

      But they keep wondering when that toll money will start rolling in…

      • Seriously. Every time I call the Port Authority to ask about it, I get the run-around.

        • Nounverb911

          You should be calling Christie’s bank in Switzerland instead.

  • chicken thief

    “I’m not doing those infomercials obviously now as a candidate for president.”

    So I have a way more lucrative gig now, the Huckster hucked.

  • Nounverb911

    “I don’t have to defend everything that I’ve ever done,”
    Try telling that to St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when your day comes.

    • Lizzietish81

      Thoth libel!

      • After all the abuse it’s suffered over the years, his heart is no doubt just ITCHING to testify against him. Also, with all the cholesterol, no way does it balance with Ma’at’s feather.

    • chicken thief

      Now that Kenyan in the White House – just why is he hiding his kindergarten transcripts?!

    • Toomush_Infer

      Like that time on the highway west of Vegas…..

      • Msgr_Moment

        I wondered who snuffed those underaged hookers.

        • Lancelot Link

          Wasn’t that Glen Beck?

    • PubOption

      Does not apply to Hillary.

      • SullivanSt

        Duh, Clinton Rules.

    • OneYieldRegular

      St. Peter is going to bust a gut when Mike Huckabee arrives expecting to go to heaven.

  • Lizzietish81

    Those pinko commies at WebMD say that, while some researchers have found great health benefits from Cinnamon…it’s mostly inconclusive

    http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-and-supplements/lifestyle-guide-11/supplement-guide-cinnamon

    • Callyson

      From the NYT linky:

      David Schardt, senior nutritionist for the Center for Science in the Public Interest, said: “When you look at good studies, cinnamon and chromium don’t have an effect. There are some crumby studies that show they have some effect.”

      Another day, another quack…

      • SullivanSt

        Need I even bother inquiring who sponsored the crappy studies?

  • Me not sure

    To quote Captain Kirk, “I. HAVE. HAD. JUST. ABOUT. ENOUGH. OF. YOU!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      And I’m going to kick you into the abyss….with votes!

      • Me not sure

        And this flaminco boot

  • Spotts1701

    “I don’t have to defend everything that I’ve ever done,”
    That’s rich coming from a candidate who, if he had evidence that young Hillary Rodham shoved someone in the sandbox in kindergarten, would be touting it as evidence of her unfitness to serve.

    • fka_donnie_d

      IOKIYAR

      (and Forgiven)

  • schmannity

    If Huckaboob doesn’t have to defend everything he has done, then I guess we won’t be hearing anymore Benghazi questions since Hillary has laid off the murdering (for now).

    • jmk

      Well spotted!!

  • Callyson

    “At least Viagra actually woirks, FFS.”

    – Bob Dole

    • chicken thief

      TRUE DAT!!!

      ~ Liz Dole

      • HobbesEvilTwin

        eww. Just, fucking eww.*

        * unless Liz screamed that while she was running away from a senile old man yelling about his boner and himself in the third person.

  • chicken thief

    But how does he plan to stop Nobama and his Jade Helm 15 takeover of Tejas is what I wanna know since his main man, Chuck Norris, is pretty fucking sure it is real.

    • Rabbit_Rebozo

      I reserve judgement on Jade Helm 15 until The Nuge weighs in.

  • schmannity

    These simple trick exercises and our sekrit herbal formula will give you the ample bosom you always wanted. Get the Huckaboob system today!

  • NerdWithNoName

    A fool and his money are soon parted. One way to judge the quality of a publication is to count the number of obvious scams advertised therein. Right wing pubs have more than their share. That said, Wonkette has some pretty weird click bait sometimes.

    • Hemp Dogbane

      One Local Mom and a 60 year old Grandma want to have a word with you.

      • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

        Not to mention the “skinny pill” that is sweeping the nation. (It seems to turn pale plump pretty ladies into tanned skinny pretty ladies)

        • Villago Delenda Est

          The “one weird trick” seems to be Photoshop

    • Enfant Terrible

      I’ll get back to you on that after I’ve tried out Dad’s trick for seducing 19-year-olds. After I’ve tried that one weird trick for popping enormous boners.

      This could take a while.

    • SullivanSt

      There should be this new rule in (your area) against that.

  • Callyson

    “I don’t have to defend everything I’ve done” is right up there with “Some of these people frighten me,” “Where’s the beef?” and “Who am I? Why am I here?”

    http://i.minus.com/iI4qGA2S6erfb.gif

    • Nounverb911

      Where’s the beef? Look in the mirror.

      • JVisconti

        at least they didn’t eat the dog too.

        • Toomush_Infer

          Yelp!…

        • chicken thief

          Yet.

          • Land Shark

            that cute dog survives because it isn’t even an hors d’oeuvre

          • nmmagyar

            With enough breading it would

          • Land Shark

            That’s a lot of breading ….

          • Viva La Tabula Raza

            I think that’s an old picture.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Not much beef there. Plenty of lard, though.

        • Land Shark

          and hot air, too, also.

      • timpundit

        “Vertical stripes are slimming.”

        Another false fact from Huckleberry’s past.

    • Me not sure

      Well put, but you are no JFK.

  • Hemp Dogbane

    Correction, E. Erickson, it’s a “plaque on conservatives.”

  • Toomush_Infer

    Anyone who can’t keep the “deer in the headlights” look out of his eyes when talking to Schieffer doesn’t have a Huckaprayer ™ toward becoming president…just sayin’…

  • SnarkOff

    “You know, I don’t have to defend everything that I’ve ever done.”
    Actually, Mike, when you’re running for president, you kind of do.

    • Exactly. Look, Mike: you certainly have to defend stuff you do in public that is directed towards the public. You have to defend the public positions you take – and hawking a product counts as a “public position.” It’s certainly relevant whether you understand the technicalities of the positions you take. For example, if you encourage people to use cinnamon to treat their diabetes, you should know whether that works and if it works, how it works. Because knowing that kind of stuff (or not knowing it) reveals how you would approach more complex issues – the kind of complex issues presidents routinely handle.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        There you go, being all reasonable, logical, and scientific again.

        You must be an agent of Satan.

        Yeah, that’s the ticket.

      • Me not sure

        Gay Medal Winner.

    • Shalimar

      The diabetes infomercial was from 2 months ago. “All this stuff was from literally days and days and possibly more days (I’ll have to count on that to be sure) before I was running for president. I was really young then.”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “Youthful indiscretions”. Yup, that’s it!

      • riledupone

        Devil was in the house and came out of his mouth?

  • Callyson

    A spokeswoman for Mr. Huckabee declined to say how much he earned from these efforts. But she said he had broken off as a spokesman for the diabetes cure a couple of weeks ago, suggesting concerns that the unusual endorsements may appear un-presidential.

    Nice to know what Huckabee’s priorities are: note that no fucks were given about the fact that he was pushing a product that didn’t fucking work

  • chicken thief

    You’re right, Mike, let’s not get into where we got our money.

    ~ Hillary, Scott, Jeb, Ted, Carly, and Ben

  • chicken thief

    Hey, Bernie Sanders was up next. I wonder if Bob asked him which Burlington micro-brewery was his favorite.

    • Nounverb911

      AOT,K?

  • cousin itt

    Huck knows how to pray on the faithful.

    • chicken thief

      He prays and preys. That’s just the kinda guy he is.

  • Callyson

    Pressed about the dietary supplements promoted by the company he endorses, for which he was paid an undisclosed fee, he said: “I’ll do anything that promotes good health. Yes, sir.”

    “Just as long as I can make bank from it!”

    • BearGHAZI

      one pill maybe: amphetamines will definitely slim you.

      • Boscoe

        And meth!

        oh yeah, that’s what you said… sorry.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Mr. Huckabee, who earlier this year released a book, “God, Guns, Grits
    and Gravy,” celebrates the populist culture and values in the “flyover”
    states

    In other words, keeping folks sanctimonious, shooty, and suety.

    • Kakkeltje

      “Gold, Guns, Grifts and Crazy”, sounds like a more fitting title

  • Callyson

    Mr. Huckabee, who earlier this year released a book, “God, Guns, Grits and Gravy”

    His manifesto appeared before he endorsed the diabetes cure, which includes numerous foods to cut from one’s diet. One of those on the list: grits.

    Passing on Huckabee’s grits sounds like a good idea to me…

    http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–N6bQH8pk–/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_320/l6xohzaqixot7txnhfp9.gif

    • Spotts1701

      Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Callyson to Huckabee: Kiss my grits!

    • Msgr_Moment

      I thought you were talking about Daddy Duck Dynasty’s book, “God, Gunes, Girls, and Gits”.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Grits, gravy and cinnamon – God’s Inerrant Cure for Cancer, Diabetes, Boils and What Have You.

  • WiscoJoe

    It’s just like when George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and then promised his father it would cure typhoid. So presidential!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Theofascist shitstain’s feewings are hurt because he’s asked questions about his highly questionable activites.

    Boohoohoo.

  • sw19womble

    Soo… great news for diabetics who love cinnamon buns?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      The all-Cinnabon diet is going to be very popular.

      • Me not sure

        …and then your foot falls off.

        • SullivanSt

          But it’ll be all fun and games until then.

          • Me not sure

            What game? One legged sack racing?

          • SullivanSt

            I said until. You know, like your mother almost told you: “It’s all fun and games until someone loses a foot”.

          • Me not sure

            Sorry, my mother said at a very young age “you’re on your on, now go out and play.”

          • SullivanSt

            Guess that works when said to the remaining foot, also.

          • Me not sure

            Ouch!

        • nmmagyar

          But you’ll be blind and haven’t had nerves that work in months, so you won’t even notice

          • Me not sure

            Go….innng… fuzzy!

        • Boscoe

          That’s just the miracle weight loss effect!

          • Me not sure

            Brilliant!

  • Poly_Ester

    I’m waiting for a Republican candidate with a deeply held belief in reality to emerge, but I’m not holding my breathe.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Deeply held belief in reality does not poll well with teabangicals.

      • Boscoe

        Reality has a well-documented Liberal bias…

  • Virginia Dreaming

    So basically Huckabee is a chubby, religious version of the food babe?

  • chicken thief

    Those infomericlal dollars really make his pussy purr.

    • D_C_Wilson

      That’s just Lindsey Graham.

  • timpundit

    Nominate this guy, please. Please be taken in by his plain talking, folksy attitude and charm. Please Teajects, do America a favor. For laughs AND the disinfecting power of sunlight.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Why do you hate cinnamon?????

    • D_C_Wilson

      Stop Obama’s war on cinnamon!

    • toomanyrappers

      Which one? Does she work at Crotch Town or Bootyville? ;)

    • nmmagyar

      Raj’s dog is kinda an asshole

    • sillyclucker

      Because the first syllable sounds like “sin”. Shame on you, Huckabee!

  • D_C_Wilson

    Republicans believe that if you aren’t making gobs of money, you’re doing something wrong. That’s why hucksterism is so prevalent among them.

  • toomanyrappers

    rant

    “…I don’t have to defend everything I have ever done…”

    Yes, you do. That’s called accountability, you stupid GOP prick. Intelligent and productive people live by that standard.

    /rant

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, seeing as Mike Huckabee is borderline intelligent and not productive at all (being a baptist preacher) then he’s got excuses.

  • Virginia Dreaming

    Off topic, but related by republican scam theme. This weekend, Rand Paul raffled off the chance to have his wife call your wife or mother and wish her a happy mother’s day. So on mother’s day, he has the mother of his children make a campaign call for him?

    • jmk

      It’s better that he doesn’t talk to women.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Grifting is the family business of the Pauls. You marry into them, you become a grifter. It’s how it works.

    • Land Shark

      So Mrs. Rand Paul calls to tell a random mom that their children are moochers and non-bootstrappers?

      Sounds lovely.

    • Boscoe

      Aw, that was so sweet of him to let her take the wheel and steer the Grift for a few minutes…

    • Rabbit_Rebozo

      “Hello, for all you know, this is Mrs. Rand Paul calling to wish you a happy Mother’s Day! Thank you so much for contributing to Senator Paul’s… I mean… my Dear Husband’s… campaign.”

    • Doug Langley

      “Hello, this is Rand Paul’s wife. Please deposit 25 cents.”

      Sorry, Randy, but Prez Obama did the same thing, and he didn’t charge.

  • dslindc

    ““You know, I don’t have to defend everything that I’ve ever done,” Huckabee shrugged.”

    Actually, you do. That comes with the territory when you decide to ride in the GOP Candidate Clown Car™. Sorry, not sorry.

    • nmmagyar

      Considering the fact that Obama has had to defend his mother’s decision to move to Indonesia (and her choice of sex partners), and Hillary is having to defend shit her husband did; I think it’s fair that Huck should defend shit he actually did.

  • Virginia Dreaming

    Even presidential candidates should not have to defend everything they have done. But they should have to account for all the stupid, dishonest, money-grubbing bullshit they have tried to pull off on the American public. It kind of puts their campaign rhetoric into context.

    • Boscoe

      You might even go so far as to say it directly reflects their personal integrity and ethics. :)

  • Bear OmNomNom

    As a Beetus-American, I can say with confidence that Hucksterby’s brain is about as functional as my pancreas.

    • Blank Ron

      Maybe we could try filling him with insulin?

  • SullivanSt

    Our Wonket probably shouldn’t feel too smug about all the obvious bullshit being hawked at wingnut sites given a decent chunk of it also appears under that “Oh Look, Sex” heading on the right.

    Of course, there’s a wide chasm between accepting an advertising stream you don’t have complete control over, vs using your mouth-hole to say your band of dupes should buy particular snake oil products, so FYVM still will-never-be-President Hucksterbee.

  • Fly

    I can help you guys with chronic butthurt. I sell the worlds strongest placebo that will not only cure butthurt, It will make you irresistible to voters. call now, my operators are standing by.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Is it homeopathic? I do so hope it is homeopathic.

      • visiblegirl

        Something something homeo something butt something Supreme Court.

      • vivian

        In this case its homeophobic

  • MrBlobfish

    Not intended to be a factual statement

  • jesuswasablack

    ” It is “free” with a $72 subscription to a health newsletter”
    Well there you go old Huck-a-buck was giving away the cure, it was the “health newsletter” asking for the &72, you liberals are just jealous cause Hillary don’t talk to GOD, she takes her orders from Bill and Satan!

  • Mehmeisterjr

    “You know, I don’t have to defend everything that I’ve ever done.”

    Albatross!

  • guppy06

    “You know, I don’t have to defend everything that I’ve ever done,”

    Only if you want to be president.

    • Jen_Baker_VA

      It’s not like he has to show his birth certificate, or his collage transcripts, or talk about his preacher, or….
      wait……

      • Boscoe

        Sigh. Huck makes this so easy it’s hardly even fun anymore… :(

  • Jen_Baker_VA

    idk why anyone would ever believe what this guy says about health. He looks about half as healthy as Bob, and Bob is like 100 years old

  • Rabbit_Rebozo

    In Huck-a-Boo-Boo’s favor I will say that, though it may not cure anything, a good cinnamon roll, like a couple of pieces of bacon, almost always at least makes me feel better

  • Mintie

    So if elected President, Huckabee will use the national census information to force his version of Amway on all US citizens? I believe I shall factor this possibility into my voting decisions.

    • Oginikwe

      No, Amway would be Gov. Snyder from Michigan.

  • dsmith

    “This proves I’ll be a great president” what a con artist. This is so close to Oral Roberts selling prayer cloths for a “Charitable” donation or water from the Red Sea that has the power to cure illness.

    • Blank Ron

      Water from the Red Sea can cure illness. If the illness is dehydration.

      • eddi

        The Red Sea contains salt water. It causes dehydration if you drink too much.

        • Blank Ron

          Which would be his business model. Grift that is self-renewing. Brilliant!

  • With a name like Huckabee’s, it has to be grift.

  • Doug Langley

    At last – Republicans finally reveal their plan to replace Obamacare.

  • docterry6973

    What could be more Presidential than sanctimonious lying?

  • VandeGraf

    While you can’t cure stupid, for six payments of 19.95 you can cure doofus with one Acme Coyote Doofus-Away capsule and a hearty breakfast every morning, some good parents, an education, and a Buddhist retreat annually. Just like magic, No More Doofus! AC Doofus-Away! No more acting like a putz!

  • Eric Bacon

    He isn’t wrong about presidents being snake-oil salesmen.

  • DahBoner

    Can we celebrate future never gonna be President Huckleberry with a big slice of cake?
    http://cdn.picsauce.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/diabeetus.jpg

  • ThatDale

    Say, you know who else promised simple health remedies that turned out to be not very conducive to living?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Every naturopath ever?

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