Why does Obama hate freedom scams?

You may remember that last summer, Obama’s cabal of Education Department goons went after esteemed for-profit Corinthian Colleges, targeting them for the unspeakable crime of being too awesome and making too much money. Sure, the USDE said it was because Corinthian kept juking its job placement stats to entice more students to enroll in its dead-end programs that turn out students who can’t ever pay back their federal loans, but we know it’s because the socialist Kenyan occupying the White House hates freedom and money. On Monday, the forces of evil won and Corinthian shuttered all its colleges nationwide.

Sure, a metric fuckton of students who were already receiving a sub- to no-par education are out on their ears mid-degree, but let’s face it: the real loser here is us, the American people, because we let our elected officials kill a money-making machine like Corinthian.

For-profit education company Corinthian Colleges announced that, effective today, it is shutting down all of its 28 remaining campuses. That will mean no more classes for approximately 16,000 students attending Corinthian’s various trade schools, including the 150-year-old Heald College. It also means the end of a long collapse for a once-hot company.

The stock, which once traded around $33 a share, is now worth less than $0.02. Corinthian stock peaked in March 2004, but then quickly nosedived after a report that the colleges may have participated in some improper financial aid dealings.

See? Had Obama and the impoverished and jealous career bureaucrats at the USDE only left well enough alone, Corinthian Colleges would still be churning out money for its stockholders at the expense of students, just like God intended. Instead, Obama and California’s Attorney General Kamala Harris literally murdered Corinthian in the billiards room with a revolver.

On April 27, The Wall Street Journal editorial board defended Corinthian, claiming that the “feds and [California Attorney General] Kamala Harris put 16,000 students on the street.” The editorial alleged that the Department of Education (ED) “began to drive Corinthian out of business by choking off federal student aid,” that Corinthian was held at “government gunpoint,” and that an ED “penalty scared away prospective buyers.”

What will the the CEO of Corinthian do now that he won’t pull down $3 million-plus a year? What will the many marketing-related entities that sucked at the teat of Corinthian to the tune of $294 million dollars do without that money? Why wasn’t someone thinking of the real-world damage done when you take vast sums of money away from people who earned it honestly — by dicking over under-informed students?

Oh wait. You know who was thinking of that and striving to protect the all-American goodness that was Corinthian? Our hero, Marco Rubio. Yes, the good senator from Florida with a thirst for justice (and also for actual water) stood athwart Corinthian yelling STOP.

Last summer, Senator Marco Rubio of Florida asked the U.S. Department of Education to “demonstrate leniency” toward Corinthian Colleges by permitting the wealthy for-profit company to continue accessing millions of dollars in federal financial aid while it was cooperating with a federal investigation.

Golly. How do we get a senator to ask the government to demonstrate leniency toward us by permitting us access to gobs of sweet sweet federal cash? This is a definition of “leniency” we were hitherto unaware of but man, now we want a piece of that action. And to think that Corinthian got all that lovin’ from Marco for a mere $5,000 donation to Rubio’s Reclaim America PAC. Surely we can combine the efforts of Wonkette’s not-yet-but-soon-to-be-Twitchy-sized army of overpaid and overfed employees and you, our precious commenters, to raise five large so that we too can enjoy the dulcet dry-mouth tones of Marco Rubio encouraging the government to keep showering us with cash. After all, isn’t that what the New American Century is all about?

[HuffPo/Media Matters/Bloomberg]

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  • MsAnthropesMr

    Yay! Snipy!

    • SterWonk

      Twice in as many days?!

      … not-yet-but-soon-to-be-Twitchy-sized army of overpaid and overfed employees

      Does this mean we’re going to be buying Snipy again? Yay!

  • ManchuCandidate

    No, the executives of these shitty “skules” were slaughtered for their skins to make rich Corinthian Leather couches.

    • PubOption

      They were certainly rich enough.

  • Beowoof14

    Seriously Rubio you shit, I just saw on my TV News, the kids left out in the street with no education as their “college” closed, but don’t worry they still owe a shit ton of money to your friends in the corporate for profit college loan business.
    How anyone votes for these criminals is amazing and annoying.

  • Left Coast Tom

    This post is making me happy that Kamala Harris is running for Senate in 2016.

    • Me not sure

      She can run by my house if she wants …Growrrrrr.

  • This is just great. I’m 12 credits away from my degree in Medical Office Sweeping and this has to happen. Now how’m I going to pay back my $150,000 in student loans?

    • dslindc

      Don’t worry, I’m sure there’s another for-profit college where you can pivot into a Dental Office Receptioning program (no transfer credits accepted).

    • Anarchy Pony

      Luxury automobile theft?

      • Callyson

        Darryl Issa, is that you?

        • Whale Chowder

          Did they mention arson? No they did not. Obvs. not Issa.

    • Me not sure

      For just an additional $30,000 I’ll apply those credits to a Law Office Sweeping Degree.

    • Oginikwe

      Join the Corinthian 15 and don’t pay them back. The DOE was remiss in policing these grifters.

  • Fly

    Politically Marco Rubio is a cheap whore.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      Ouch, I just had an unfortunate mental image of Rubio in a hooker outfit. And now you do too. You are welcome.

      • MrBlobfish

        My Rubio fantasy hooker has gold lame hot pants, thigh-high boots and a feather boa. Yours?

        • Anarchy Pony

          Miniskirt, fishnet stockings, tube top.

          • AntiDerpomeme

            I was thinking along the lines of Pony’s choice (a classic!), but I like the idea of combining the slutty aspects with something that accurately illustrates his political astuteness, so, this…

          • JohnBull

            Ruth Buzzi hairnet, green Crocks, third tit.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Carmen Miranda fruit salad hat FTW!

    • RevZafod

      He’s not alone.

      • Vecciojohn

        It’s always the ugly ones that insist on running around half naked.

        • BackDoorMan

          … anyone who doubts that need only tune into the Jerry Springer show – on any given day.

          • RevZafod

            Just be thankful Christie wasn’t in the cartoon. I’ll spare you any images here, but if you’re brave or foolish enough, try Google Images for “fat man in speedo”.

            And yeah, I wear a Speedo, but it’s this style.

          • RevZafod

            Tho, to be honest, on me it looks more like this.

          • BackDoorMan

            Thank you. I am neither brave nor foolish enough to consult The Google on this… I’ll take your word for it. A fully-clothed Christie is enough to invoke nightmares, and I have trouble sleeping as it is (probably should stop watching the “news” channel before I nod off).

      • Weldon Thomas

        Such a strange appeal these shameless skanks have for Mr. Moneybags there.

    • BackDoorMan

      Even the cheapest of whores doesn’t match the moral turpitude of Marco Rubio.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    This is why smart families like the Duggars homeschool through the PhD level. Plus keeping the kids home lets you use them as indentured servants to do the chores.

  • AntiDerpomeme

    I love a good Snippy appearance!

    The speedy and final death to all of those for-profit “colleges” cannot happen soon enough. It makes me so angry that these institutions take advantage of gullible kids looking to better their lives, giving very little in the way of education but getting obscenely wealthy for this ‘service.” And if that’s not bad enough, the kids are stuck with ridiculous loans that many will struggle their whole lives to pay off.

    For the 2nd day, I refer you to a very-enlightening John Oliver piece about these very shady organizations:

    • The problem with the loans extends to the public system as well, unfortunately. It’s not like we have billions that could be diverted to more education grants instead of sending people overseas to murder for the empire all teh freedomz evar!11!!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Well, it’s not like there are billions just sitting around in hedge funds to make even more billions that won’t be used to build infrastructure, or provide health care, or create good wage jobs in places like oh, I don’t know, Ferguson MO, and Detroit, and Baltimore…

  • MrBlobfish

    Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

    • Blank Ron

      Who cares? They’re out of the house for a few hours every weekday.
      – far too many ‘parents’

  • FZsdaughter

    This is everything that’s wrong with America in one story.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Needs moar rampant imperialist militarism.

    • MrBlobfish

      Needs moar crumbling infrastructure.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Needs more light beer.

      • chicken thief


    • Lot_49

      Needs moar privatization of things that are were once inherently governmental in nature.

      • Vecciojohn

        Damned socialized Army.

        • Lot_49

          Stealing work from the job creators at Blackwater/Xe.

          • SterWonk


      • SuspectedDemocrat

        They were doing a pretty good job of privatizing the public’s money.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Their specialty.

          • Blank Ron

            Now this is what they should have been teaching.

    • JohnBull

      Needs more sad endings. This one the bad guys were eventually caught.

      • Blank Ron

        Found out, yes. Caught? Dunno yet.

    • Tendernob

      Needs moar sadness. OH HEY HERE’S SOME:

      According to Slate, “a small survey of online students noted that 17 percent surveyed had no idea if they attended a for-profit college or not.”

    • Redgyal

      Needs moar racisms against the blahs. (low hanging fruit)

  • Anarchy Pony

    God bless america! Where you can run a scam and have the right wing media sing your praises and bash the people that shut your scam down.

  • Angry_Cop

    Oddly enough, one of the few jobs that you can actually obtain with one of these worthless degrees is in law enforcement.

    I wonder why that is?

    • Virginia Dreaming

      And now we know where the Baltimore PD got its officers.

      • Blank Ron

        Ferguson and Cleveland also, too.

  • FauxAntocles

    Stupid Obummer! It doesn’t matter where the cash comes from as long as it comes to me!

  • Respiteini

    Good. Now they just need to forgive the loans Corinthian students took out and this will be all better-ish.

    • Lot_49

      Uh, “no” is the official response on that suggestion, being as how banks are involved and they DO NOT LIKE to “forgive” loans.

      • Oginikwe

        The Corinthian 15 say different:

        the Corinthian 15 have called a “debt strike”—evidently the first of its kind in U.S.history. The former students have declared that they cannot and will not repay the federal loans they took out to attend the college and are demanding that the DOE cancel their debts. Not surprisingly, they allege that Corinthian defrauded them by running a “predatory lending scheme” and using “illegal debt-collection tactics,” among other wrongdoing.

        The Downfall of For-Profit Colleges (02/23/2015):

        • Villago Delenda Est

          The executives of these obvious scams need to be hunted down and subjected to various things that would violate the Commenting Rules (if Wonkette allowed comments) such as audits, fines, and public revelation of their sexual kinks.

        • Blank Ron

          Hopefully not the last of its kind. These are some brave kids, given that banks have fewer qualms about fucking up people than even the cops.

  • Biff52

    It’s a start.

  • beatbort

    Now’s the time to buy Corinthian Colleges stock! Like the University of Phoenix, it will rise from the ashes.

    • VirginiaLady

      Try this one secret hot tip to make millions on penny stocks!

  • Toomush_Infer

    Whhuuuttt? Somebody’s gettin’ paid?????…..

  • Virginia Dreaming

    If we took all that money, put it into public schools, so they could offer courses that help to train students for jobs/life instead of jails it might actually accomplish something. Maybe even offer some of these life/job classes to people who are returning because they realized that the freedom of being an unemployed graduate is not as much fun as they thought it would be. And it might actually create jobs in the process of preparing people for jobs. (Instead of just making a few more rich hucksters.)

    • Blank Ron

      And your point is…?

      • Virginia Dreaming

        at the top of my head?

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    This is because Obama failed Grifting 101 in college. SHOW US THE TRANSCRIPTS!!!111!!!!

  • VirginiaLady

    I’m still waiting for Bams to give my kid free college for the first 2 years. By the end of that my 2 cent stocks should have grossed enough to make us all fabulously wealthy!

    • Vecciojohn

      Keep reinvesting those dividends!

  • Callyson

    The Wall Street Journal editorial board defended Corinthian, claiming that the “feds and [California Attorney General] Kamala Harris put 16,000 students on the street.” The editorial alleged that the Department of Education (ED) “began to drive Corinthian out of business by choking off federal student aid,” that Corinthian was held at “government gunpoint”

    Do I dare go to the source?

    It’s good that Education Department regulators don’t oversee drone strikes. Behold how DoE’s blunderbuss assault on the for-profit Corinthian Colleges has harmed thousands of students and employees.

    Oh, for fuck’s sake.

    To mitigate the political damage, DoE is deputizing financial aid counselors to help Corinthian’s student refugees. Yet most community colleges don’t offer Corinthian’s vocational programs and flexible schedules, and many for-profits don’t accept Corinthian’s credits.

    Which speaks volumes about who really harmed the students and employees, now doesn’t it?

    • Vecciojohn

      Gee, you mean the phony baloney credits from Corinthian won’t transfer to some other phony baloney for profit school?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        If you didn’t pay them for the credits, why should they give them to you? They’re not like credits from a real school, where they represent something you’ve learned.

      • SuspectedDemocrat

        Gentlemen! We have to protect our phony baloney jobs!

    • TheBidenator

      You mean it’s all the gummints fault, don’che?

    • Blank Ron

      … most community colleges don’t offer Corinthian’s vocational programs and flexible schedules…

      To be fair, this is 100% accurate. Community colleges only offer an actual education, and a realistic chance of getting a job in that field. Plus they kinda like you to show up for class.

  • Vecciojohn

    A conservative is one who stands athwart history yelling “Waaaaaah!”
    -William F. Buckley, Jr. (R-Right Wing Catholic Heaven).

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Right Wing Catholic Heaven: A wholly owned subsidiary of Lucifer Properties, LLC.

  • Callyson

    How do we get a senator to ask the government to demonstrate leniency toward us by permitting us access to gobs of sweet sweet federal cash?

    “Thank you for your generous kickback contribution!”

  • Warham Pendrich

    How about the staff and teachers who lost their jobs with no warning because their school was supposed to be purchased by a non-profit organization. Between CCI and the state of NY, somebody screwed up the deal. Oh, these people were not paid vacation time nor did they get cobra.

    • Cowpocalypse_Now

      That’s just the invisible hand of the free market working it’s magic. Free from the shackles of public assistance from an overbearing gov’t. So the wingnuts should be rejoicing should they not? Checks all their boxes.

    • Oginikwe

      The new normal in the US of A.

    • TrufflePig58

      Meh. If you’re working for an obvious scam like Corinthian you should know your days are numbered. I’m sure there are good people, etc etc, people who really tried to educate kids and couldn’t get a better gig, sure, I’m sure that happened. But working for a criminal enterprise is not a job you should count on for your retirement.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    It certainly is an outrage that the CEO had the nerve to pay himself like he was a football coach.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “The Department of Education began to drive Corinthian out of business by choking off federal student aid.”
    Teabagging morons who want to cut student aid say what???

  • chicken thief

    Their diploma’s came wrapped in such fine leather, though…

    • jmk

      RIP Ricardo Montalban…

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      And its graduates can sit on their “thickly cushioned seats” collecting unemployment.

      Amazing what you can learn from wikipedia, for example Corinth is located somewhere in New Jersey.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Paris is in Texass, you know.

        “Once they’ve seen Paree, how are you going to keep them on the farm?”

        • Blank Ron

          Buy cuter-looking cows?

  • Flashman

    Absent from the WSJ op ed was a listing of all its staffers and interns (excluding janitors) holding Corinthian degrees. Or maybe it was in there and I didn’t see it (because it doesn’t exist)

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They’re not on the payroll, so it’s pretty easy to ignore them.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    The stock, which once traded around $33 a share, is now worth less than $0.02.

    Just goes to show, education is a terrible investment. Isn’t that right, Kansas?

  • SK

    Corinthian’s loss could be Liberty university’s gain. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

    • vivian

      That’s funny, I heard he was unemployed.

  • TheBidenator

    Waiiitttt…..aren’t wingnuts usually bitching about how everyone (except the military) needs to get off the public dole and aren’t they usually trying to cut/privatize student aid programs….? These people make no fucking sense, I’d assume this news would create a wingnut ‘gasm but the hypocrisy is so thick no wonder they have the consistency of piss…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Piss is a lot more consistent, and has much more integrity, than your average wingnut. So I’m calling piss libel.

    • Wingnuts are totes OK with any business enterprise that lets more money changers in the temple, so to speak. So a for-profit, publicly traded college that sells loans to poor people is right up their alley. And if the government bears the risk of default, so much the better.

    • D_C_Wilson

      That’s because you don’t understand how free market capitalism works. It’s all about harvesting natural resources in the most efficient manner possible. In this case, the student loans are the natural resource. Now, they could work hard to give students a decent education, but that’s too inefficient. Besides, once they have the student loan money, what’s the point? The marketing department did their job. Money spent on quality education is just waste overhead.

  • VandeGraf

    Too bad Obama keeps hassling larcenous villains. I mean, larcenous villains gotta eat, too! Plus, after the financiers, banks, and boardroom denizens get through, there’s still a little jingle laying around. Can’t let the poors have it, or the muddled classes. They’d just waste it on food and clothing.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I hope this gets thrown in Rubio’s face, over and over again, as long as he’s in the race.

  • RoyalUglyDude

    Now what am I supposed to do with my Pell Grants, play online poker?

    • Mahousu

      Better chance of success that way.

  • Annie Towne

    Rubio’s not just a whore; he’s a cheap $5 trick streetwalker sort of whore.

  • Kurk Schoner

    Hooray! Snipy is back!

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