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One of the couple's fans, who calls them by their real names Bonkers & Yip-Yap. Child may or may not be related to Yr Wonkette.

On Tuesday, plaintiffs in Obergefell v. Hodges journeyed to the Supreme Court from many faraway exotic lands — Tennessee, Kentucky, Ohio and Michigan to be specific — so that their case, to bring marriage equality to themselves and, by extension, to America, may be heard. If you have not heard about this news, you may read this Wonkette Legal Analysis of what went down in that courtroom!

Wonkers might remember that, in January, we chit-chatted with Thom Kostura and Ijpe DeKoe, the Tennessee plaintiffs better known to their friends as Bonkers and Yip-Yap, about how excited they were to get to go Supreme Courting. Now they have gone there and because FULL DISCLOSURE, they are friends with yr Wonkette, they agreed to let us yammer some questions at them, for our readers’ perusal and gratification.

So here we have a WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE, MUST CREDIT WONKETTE!!! interview with Kostura and DeKoe, as they bask in the afterglow of going to the Supreme Court to tell everybody what’s what about gay marriage. Also, they were very rude to your Wonkette, but not as half as rude as they are to us in person, which is why we love them.

Thom and Ijpe, with creative Dirty Homo sign in background. Time Mag pic of the year?

WONKETTE: So, you got to go to the Supreme Court yesterday! Was it exciting? Tell us about all that.

DeKoe: Almost as exciting as getting a phone call from our own personal Wonkette, but with more meaning. Frankly it was all overwhelming, exciting, and will go down as one of the most significant moments of my marriage to Thom.

Kostura: It was incredible. We were only admitted for Question 2, regarding recognition, which is exactly what our case is about. We were legally married in New York, and moved to Tennessee due to Ijpe’s military assignment. Most impactful to me was our attorney Doug Hallward-Driemeier’s use of our personal stories as part of his 5 minute rebuttal at the end.

WONKETTE: So! How exhausted are you two right now? Tell us about what the past few days have been like.

Kostura: We’re spent. We had a friend’s memorial to attend on Saturday, Ijpe’s father got married on Sunday, we traveled to DC for oral arguments on Tuesday, and now we are talking to you! We cannot wait to get home and invite you over to dinner.

WONKETTE: We accept your invitation! So, you’re famous now, getting to be on the Nightly News with Not Brian Williams and shit. How are you handling the fame?

Kostura: Pretty good. We made it onto Wonkette’s radar again, which has got to count for something, right?

DeKoe: My people will get back to you on that.

WONKETTE: You two met at Boy Scout Camp when you were teenagers. Then you got married years later! How is that working out for you? Still like each other?

Kostura: …

DeKoe: …

[Ed: This is a lie, they love each other so much it’s gross, and also inspiring to everyone else, even opposite marrieds.]

WONKETTE: Did you force a baker to bake a gay cake for your gay wedding?

Kostura: No, we bought pizza instead.

DeKoe: Duh.

WONKETTE: So besides being gay marriage culture warriors, you do other things. Ijpe is in the Army and Thom is a magnificent artist, having just finished an MFA at the Memphis College Of Art. We know what the Army does, but tell us about Thom’s art!

RainfallNo2

[Ed: Their reply was snarky, so we banhammered it with our delete button. Thom’s website is here. You should go to it and learn how he makes these incredible pieces, which are co-creations between the artist and RAINSTORMS. If you are interested, they are for sale!]

WONKETTE: So, fingers crossed, this may be The Big One, the one that gives marriage equality to the entire US and A. Aren’t you glad yr Wonkette introduced you to the people who convinced you to join this case?

DeKoe: We’re delighted that Tennessee Equality Project and the Memphis Gay and Lesbian Community Center are behind us. True, we did decide to join this case over cocktails. But it was the best decision we ever made.

WONKETTE: Thanks for not answering our completely self-serving question, GUYS. Anyway, there you have it, Thom Kostura and Ijpe DeKoe are the best, and they will be your new gay overlords when SCOTUS rules in June, hurray! And they will make your Wonkette dinner, very soon, once they get a chance to breathe, or whenever we demand it, because we deserve it.

[Photo of Thom & Ijpe via Thom’s Facebook, taken by the amazingly talented photographer from NCLR]

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  • MsAnthropesMr

    Even when you interview people, you still don’t allow comments. Good job.

    And given the nature of those lovely gentlemen, exactly whose hair were you braiding?

    • PubOption

      Well, Trix didn’t get pregnant braiding hair with KBJ. (Have I just argued against gay marriage?)

  • JustPixelz

    I went to the Supreme Court once as a tourist. While there I hoped to see one of the justices to get a ruling on whether I know how to dress myself. (There is a strong difference of opinion on that in the Pixelz household.) Sadly, no justice. So no peace (for me).

    • Just wear what you did yesterday…. precedent doncha know.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      I gave up on the whole dressing myself thing years ago. I go to Brooks Brothers and buy 7 identical blue shirts and 5 identical khaki pants. You should try it. It’s like Garanimals for adults.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Brooks Bros (or the female equiv) doesn’t work for me, because all their clothes clash with the pink hair.

        • MsAnthropesMr

          Oh, Brooks Brother’s women clothes, IMHO, are atrocious. Instant dowdy. But then again, I can barely dress myself. Any thing by Anna Sui, however….

        • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

          The pink hair and the blue lights?

      • pstockholm

        So, that’s two pantless days a week? Not bad.

        • MsAnthropesMr

          I work from home two days a week. Just gotta make sure what the webcam sees.

          • JustPixelz

            Anthony Weiner, is that you?

    • Mary Sandoras

      I also too have that defective gene that leads to an impairment in fashion. My daughter refers to me as a trailer trash fashionista extraordinaire. If you stick with the traditional sweat pants and hoodies, no one will ever expect more of you.

      • I am the worst gay ever when it comes to fashion. I can’t even.

        • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

          I pick up some of your slack on the straight side. My wife IS the Fashion Police.

        • nmmagyar

          I’ll fight you for that title. My Mr. is horrified that I have “everyday” and “good/formal” flip-flops. My goal in life is to go an entire year without wearing a shoe with laces. Or pants.

          • Blank Ron

            Shoes with pants? You mean footie pyjamas, right?

          • Seek

            I have 5 pair of black flip flops that range from formal to casual to squalid – my Mr is also horrified. They get over it eventually, I hope.

  • FauxAntocles

    So exciting to be a part of history!
    Does that make them historic or historians?

  • Me not sure

    I went through a reception line and met Justice Scalia, right after he was confirmed, at a conference where he was speaking. He was every bit the pompous asshat you’d expect, even then. Good luck, boys.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      You had your chance to kick him in balls then and you blew man.

      • Lizzietish81

        He was busy blowing a man?

        That is an awkward position from where to kick someone’s balls.

        • Me not sure

          People do that in a reception line? I always just shake hands. Live and learn.

          • MsAnthropesMr

            Only reception line I’ve ever been in was my wedding. Didn’t happen there.

          • Me not sure

            Savin’ it for the honeymoon!

      • Me not sure

        He was new, I just didn’t know how bad he would be or how long he would last,

    • zerosumgame0005

      I sure hope you had some hand cleaner to wipe all that sulfur and brimstone off after shaking his hoof

      • Me not sure

        There was a guy with Handi-Wipes at the end of the line.

        • Sam Hain

          bleach, gotta use bleach or the hoofprints become indelible.

  • JustPixelz

    Here’s hoping for good news from SCOTUS for Yip Yap and Bonkers. But let’s not forget Bush v Gore and Citizens United and Hobby Lobby. Closing arguments Mr. Pacino?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWE-oaP5mwg

  • Fly

    Why don’t they look more gay? congratulations anyway.

    • Whale Chowder

      Right? They just look like…people. How am I supposed to hate them when they aren’t even wearing lavender hot pants or going shirtless or something?

      • zerosumgame0005

        and not a single pair of ass-chaps on display!

        • People just shake their heads sadly when I wear my lavender assless chaps. It’s not the effect I’m after.

          • Me not sure

            You need not elaborate further.

          • pstockholm

            Spoilsport. I was going to go with POGTFO.

          • Blank Ron

            If you forgot the silver piping down the leg seam, well, that would explain everything.

      • Fly

        I know, Josh Duggar fits the model far more convincingly.

      • Vecciojohn

        They probably didn’t wear their leather gear to court. Big phonies.

  • Lizzietish81

    I for one welcome our Fabulous New Overlords.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Especially because they have really really well-fitting suits.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Justin Harris libels!

      • Blank Ron

        If I have to become gay to finally find a suit that fits me, then I have a couple of calls to make.

    • Me not sure

      I don’t, they’ll probably make me redecorate. My color palette is off.

  • MrBlobfish

    More importantly, which one is Yip Yap?

    • MsAnthropesMr

      The one who isn’t Bonkers, duh!

    • EvanHurst

      Bonkers in the front, Yip-Yap in the back. YEP, sounds like a sex thing, now that we typed it.

    • Gawd. Isn’t that what people always ask gay couples?

  • docterry6973

    They seem nice, considering that they want to cause the end times and send us all into Satan’s eternal hellfire.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      You say that like it’s a bad thing.

      • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

        You get a pretty bad rap here.

      • Reddishrabbit

        I like the coloring books myself.

      • fka_donnie_d

        Heaven for the climate, hell for the company –Twain

    • zerosumgame0005

      GO TEAM SATAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Just watched the Not Brian Williams video link, because I wasn’t ragy enough yet this morning. Once again I am reminded that the left just allowed the right to cram their “traditional definition of marriage” down our throats (both sides do it!) as “being between a man and a woman.” I’m sorry, the “traditional definition of marriage” is that it is a union of people who choose to live together under a civic contract recognized by the government, with the government bestowing rights, privileges and recognition not available to people who are not in recognized civil marriages. It has nothing to do with gender, or religion for that matter.

  • NerdWithNoName

    That “Dirty Homo” sign in the background of the photo is quite disturbing. This issue can really bring out the worst in some people.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, when you’re dealing with “Christians” it doesn’t take much to bring out the worst in them.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      “This issue” being religion?

      • Blank Ron

        They’re Christianists. They have nothing to do with ‘religion.’

  • dslindc

    Bon Bons are a carb, and we all know that Teh Gheys™ don’t eat those, so that must be false! Thanks, Obama!

    • We make an exception for poppers and lube bon-bons.

    • geoffalnutt

      Ersatz gheys?! Whut’s nex? Aerosol cheese?

    • Enfant Terrible

      Mimosas, strawberries and creme fraiche, or GTFO.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    The problem with that nice, simple, traditional definition of marriage (“between a man and a woman”) is that it’s not just simple, it’s simple-minded.
    The “traditional” definition, for most of the “millenia” mentioned by Justice Roberts, included subservience of the woman, if not outright ownership of her as chattel. So let’s call bullshit on the sanctity of the “traditional definition” . . . modern society has obliterated most of what it used to contain.

    • Enfant Terrible

      I’ve been very patient, but it’s high time that the Supreme Court affirms Traditional, Family-Friendly, Biblically-Based Marriage, which includes the Right to Have and Hold Concubines!!! How is this country ever going to get on the Right Track and Get Right with God if we can’t have our Concubines???

  • Vecciojohn

    Bonkers/Yip-Yap 2016! Thanks for helping cram the gay agenda down our throats!

  • Sam Hain

    Well after your dinner date Yr. Wonkete ( Why wasn’t I invited?), would you mind sending one of those fine gentlemen over for a renovation consultation on my fabulous new office, I’m thinking Downtown Abbey themed?

    • Enfant Terrible

      “Downtown Abbey”

      I’d vote for “Uptown Funk You Up”, but we can discuss it.

  • Enfant Terrible

    “WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE, MUST CREDIT WONKETTE!!!”

    No police lights or dancing badgers? Your production values are slipping.

  • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

    I’just leave this here. http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur

  • elviouslyqueer

    I call bullshit. There is not nearly enough profanity for that to be a true Wonkette interview. Also too, at least one question should’ve been: “So, you were close enough to Scalia. Did his robes smell more like mildewed goat’s balls or three-day-old dried cum and a really garlicky marinana sauce?”

  • Lazy Media

    I would like to pour one out to former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Adm. Mike Mullen, who bullied the reluctant service chiefs into admitting that they could dump the no-homo for the military without the slightest problem. Salute!

    • mtn_philosoph

      ¡Salud!

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