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Oh now that's just tacky.

As you are reading this, oral arguments are underway in Obergefell v. Hodges, the Supreme Court case which will very likely give Americans full, nationwide marriage equality right in their hetero throats. Reportedly, all nine justices decided to come to work today, which has got to be chapping the wingnut pooterhole of one Scott Lively, who really thinks that Justices Ginsburg and Kagan owe it to the American people, to baby Jesus, and to Lively himself, to recuse themselves from the case. Why? Because they’ve done gay marriages to actual people, which means that they are big libtard homo-sympathizers and therefore have no business ruling on this case:

Standing on the steps of the Supreme Court, Scott Lively, president of Abiding Truth Ministries, told reporters he’s filing a motion with the Supreme Court calling for the recusal of Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Elena Kagan.

“Justices Ginsburg and Kagan, knowing full well that unique legal issues regarding the definition of marriage would soon come before them, deliberately officiated at so-called homosexual wedding ceremonies creating not merely the appearance of bias, but an actual and blatant conflict of interest,” he said.

“In my personal view they have committed an unparalleled breach of judicial ethics by elevating the importance of their own favored political cause of gay rights above the integrity of the court and of our nation.”

Apparently it doesn’t bother Lively that Justices Scalia and Thomas have repeatedly said anti-gay things in the past, which also sort of suggests that they are going to be “no” votes on this one. We guess it’s only okay if you agree with Scott Lively! Also, too, Ginsburg and Kagan did not create “conflicts of interest,” but merely officiated at perfectly legal marriage ceremonies, which is a thing that judges do, sometimes!

This would be a fun time to point out that Scott Lively is currently on trial for crimes against humanity, related to his anti-gay activism in Uganda, which directly led to the country’s now infamous “Kill The Gays” bill. Among other things, Lively told a Ugandan audience in 2009 that gays were at least somewhat responsible for both the Holocaust and the Rwandan genocide, a fresh memory for Ugandans, who live next door to Rwanda. He also met with Ugandan lawmakers and bragged about being the inspiration for the law. So, Scott Lively is KIND OF an evil fuckstick and he probably shouldn’t be standing on the steps of the Supreme Court talking about anything related to human rights.

But, of course, because there are only so many anti-gay activists left, they all talk to each other, so Lively’s pouty demands might sound familiar. In January, it was Bryan Fischer and the American Family Association, demanding that Ginsburg and Kagan take the day off from Supreme Court-ing today, and go play softball or something. Media Matters reports that the National Organization for Marriage (NOM nom nom) is also a part of this hilariously dead end “campaign” to get Supreme Court justices to take the day off so as to prevent any further butthurt on the religious right.

Even shouty Bill O’Reilly got in on the fun last week, relying on misleading Fox reports that suggested that this “campaign” even exists, outside the adult daycare playrooms of the fringe religious right. O’Reilly wordmouthed at his guest that “these ladies must recuse themselves,” due to their obvious gay-loving tendencies. You heard the man, LADIES!

Lively was joined on the Supreme Court steps by Janet Porter, the religious right lady what believes that gay marriage caused that whole Noah’s Ark tragedy, with all the dinosaurs MMA-fighting on the big boat during a pretty darn shitty gullywasher of a rainstorm, which totally happened. Porter was there with a bunch of empty boxes, which “were there to ‘symbolically’ represent 300,000 restraining orders” they want to give to SCOTUS to make them stop being so nice to the gays. They’ll fill those boxes with non-symbolic restraining orders once they find 300,000 people to give a fuck, we guess. Porter, loyal Wonkers will remember, is the one who basically wrote that idiot “Restrain the Judges” bill, recently introduced by Rep. Steve King, which would prohibit SCOTUS from ruling on cases if they are about anything “G-A-Y.”

All this is to say that these people’s plans totally worked, except that they didn’t, because the gays have successfully infiltrated the nation’s highest court, and they are in there RIGHT NOW, being all gay on each other and the esteemed justices. Everybody panic!

[The Hill/SCOTUS Blog]

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  • memzilla

    Finally, SCOTUS throat-cramming I can approve of!

    • JustPixelz

      They’ll never wipe away the stain of Bush v Gore.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        That’s indelible.

      • artem1s

        fine by me, the ones who participated will eventually die in infamy, along with Chief Justice John ‘Hobby Lobby’ Roberts and that shitstain, Roger Tainey.

  • MsAnthropesMr

    Scott Lively is proof that our attempts to suppress the Christians in the US are *not* working. We need to work harder, folks.

  • Nounverb911

    What will Fox news say when the teabaggers riot on the steps of the Supreme Court?

  • Callyson
    • JustPixelz

      WAIT! Thomas has a wife! He participated in a so-called heterosexual marriage ceremony so must recuse himself.

      • PubOption

        Did he manage to say “I do”?

        • Boscoe

          It was implied. …just like when the Founding Fathers “suggested” in the Constitution that a corporation could have sincerely held beliefs…

      • Mehmeisterjr

        A miscegenatin’ marriage, at that. Roll back that one, Clarence.

  • JustPixelz

    “Justices Scalia and Thomas have repeatedly said anti-gay things”

    When Thomas speaks, you can barely see Scalia’s lips moving.

  • kindness

    Seems the same as when Conservatives want local control unless it applies to local fracking or gun rules. Then (if it’s a red state) it’s a one size fits all state approach in ‘the interest of a uniform business community’.

    Integrity must be a foreign word to them.

    • Jared James

      Not at all! Integrity and responsibility are words and ideas very dear to them. As long as they mean “whatever I happen to like at the moment.”

      • Gleem-McShinez

        Also, those are useful words to hurl as weapons at political opponents! People who actually care about having integrity will likely stop and consider whether they are behaving without it, and that’s just the opening the so-called-conservatives need.

  • HobbesEvilTwin

    Clear proof that the majority of Americans are wrong and Scott Lively’s “God” is right.

    wait, what?

  • Nounverb911

    “that gay marriage caused that whole Noah’s Ark tragedy”
    I thought Noah’s Ark was caused by the gay penguins.

    • JustPixelz

      The flood was caused by the only climate change RWNJs “believe” in.

    • Swampgas_Man

      In his defense, unicorns ARE pretty gay.

    • chazmanr

      Still admire that old Noah. It took some real guts to put those termites on his wooden boat.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        I wish he hadn’t taken the boy and girl syphilises.

  • JustPixelz

    Kagan and Ginsberg non-recusal will give them grounds for appeal.

    • chazmanr

      YEAH, WE CAN ALWAYS WIN ON APPEAL! THE CONSTITUTION SAYS SO!!!! oh, also too, BENGHAZI!!!!1!
      -Random Bagger

    • Reddishrabbit

      IMPEECH!!!!1!!!1
      AND NOBAMA TOO!!!!1!!11!!!!11!!1!!!
      AND LYNCH!1!!!11!!!!!!11!!!

    • Toomush_Infer

      ….will give them grifties for appeal (FIFY)….

    • AnOuthouse

      appeal to what? The Supremer Supreme Court?

      • Lizzietish81

        JESUS COURT!

        • ZangoCrudmonger

          Ah you’se liebrels just love the Willie Horton – Barrabas’s (Barrabasi?) back on the street, headed straight to Baltimore.

      • chicken thief

        Diana Ross, white courtesy phone…. Diana Ross, white courtesy phone, please…

        • artem1s

          Stop! in the name of love, before you break my heart!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        To the Higher Court of God, I guess. I sincerely hope that the Secret Service has its shit together re SCOTUS because the nutters are stoked for some Second Amendment remedies.

  • chazmanr

    Yeah, the gays were responsible for the Holocaust in the same sense that Jews were. They were among the victims. This guy has seen thousands of pink triangles and has no idea from which the symbol comes. Hint: If you remove the downward pointing isosceles triangle from the Star of David, you are left with the single triangle that is used as a symbol of the gay rights movement. Gays received a triangle, Jews received a Star of David. Their fates were the same.

    • Boscoe

      Hey, without victims there would be no crimes, amirite? QED

  • Vecciojohn

    Two SCOTUS justices officiated at legal weddings?!? Irmagird!!!

  • Gorillionaire

    Some people need to seriously get laid.

    • jmk

      Yes, but by whom? No sentient being would volunteer to sex up some of these nutbags.

      • Nounverb911

        Marcus Bachma… Never mind!

    • JustPixelz

      Go for it Gorilla-man. Take one for the team.

    • bikerlaureate

      Look, I don’t know how you know me, but just…

      Oh. Right. Never mind.

    • Biff52

      Line forms to the right…

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Well, it’s nice of him to take such a Lively interest in this case.

    • Blank Ron

      Ouch.

  • cousin itt

    You heard O’Doofus, Kathy Griffin–time to let the rest of us have own gheys.

  • Reddishrabbit

    Thomas officiated Rush’s marriage (second I think). I think he should recuse himself, clearly he partakes in making a mockery of marriage.

    • That’s all just part of the pro-beard agenda that’s so popular amongst closeted right wingers…

    • Vienna Woods

      Well, obviously wasn’t the Catholic 3rd marriage.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Also too, if the unicorns had had guns on the ark, they’d still be here. Just sayin’.
    Edit: this was supposed to be a reply to NounVerb.

    • Boscoe

      I think it works even better as total non-sequitur!

  • Spotts1701

    Apparently one person decided he was going to try and get his point across by yelling about fire and brimstone outside the courtroom. Police dragged him away.

    • chicken thief

      How’s his spine? Oh, he was white? Never mind…

  • RoyalUglyDude

    The male justices should do what the dudes on my local town council did. They all got up during a debate, went to the men’s room, and decided how to vote. Then they came back and voted as a block. The two women on the council never knew what hit them.

  • jesuswasablack

    I don’t know about RBG but I know that “broad” Kagen is in a softball league, that alone should get her ass recused!

    • AnOuthouse

      probably drives a Subaru.

      • Objectifer

        While wearing Birckenstocks.

  • Greg Fuderer

    haha… he wrote “oral”

    • mailman27

      And “Greek” lol.

      • MasterSkrain

        And “Reach Back”!! hee-hee!

  • Reddishrabbit

    I wonder if all the wingnuts who panic about international law in the Supreme Court will be upset about Alito’s reaching back to ancient Greek definition of marriage during the oral argument?
    Ha, who I’m kidding.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I’m still waiting on Scalia to utter at least two “argle bargles,” then clutch his chest and keel over because his dildo shorted out and fried his scrotum.

    What? A girl can dream, can’t she?

    • Belasaurius

      if only they allowed cameras in there so we could see that

      • artem1s

        I’d settle for a beautifully rendered sketch by the court sketch artist. Or even a video re-enactment by the John Oliver puppy court.

        • Biff52

          Puppy abuse!

    • Gleem-McShinez

      his dildo

      Wait, do you mean Alito, or Thomas?

      • nmmagyar

        Yes

  • docterry6973

    I think Scalia and Thomas should recuse themselves for putting their own religious beliefs ahead of the Constitution. That won’t happen either.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Oh for FUCK’S sake. Alito just compared same sex marriage to incest AND polygamy. Because my marriage is just like a Very Special Episode of 19 Kids and Counting Meets the Cast of Big Love.

    • Belasaurius

      is there a live report feed somewhere?

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      And he got the painfully obvious answer back. Who makes the medical decisions in polygamy? Do they take a vote?

      • laineypc

        and what do the wedding cakes look like and who will make them?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Alito is aware that polygamy was perfectly OK in the Old Testament, right?

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    O’Reilly wordmouthed at his guest that “these ladies must recuse themselves,”

    Because of menstruation?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Scott Lively needs to SHUT THE FUCK UP, DONNY.

    • Objectifer

      He’s out of his depth.

  • Enfant Terrible

    If Scott Lively were to fall into a vat of salted rat dicks, no one would be able to find him to pull him out.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Talk about your straw in a haystack….

  • Toomush_Infer

    They should recuse themselves because they’re women and, therefore, the only justices capable of being lesbians. That makes sense, doesn’t it?…

    • Boscoe

      …But the bible doesn’t say anything about lesbians, only “men laying with a man as a woman”!
      Loophole! (…is my new euphemism for “scissoring”.)

  • AnOuthouse

    A big vat of Preparation H for all the butt hurt haters. Hope you don’t get an ass infection.

  • Lizzietish81

    Remember when Scalia excused himself during the 2000 election because his son was representing Bush?

    • Biff52

      Different obvs, because not gay? Maybe.

  • JD Mulvey

    I call on Scott Lively’s secret boyfriend to reveal yourself publicly. I know you’re out there somewhere.

    • Lizzietish81

      Please, he’s chained in a closet somewhere, like Rocky.

      • Whale Chowder

        What does Bullwinkle have to say about that?

    • MasterSkrain

      Seriously, if you were that’s douchenozzle’s boyfriend, would YOU want anyone to know about it?

  • PirateCafe

    Can Lively be shipped to the Hague to face charges of crimes against humanity? Please?

    Interpol, we know where he is. We won’t stop you. We’ve got your back on this one!

  • chicken thief

    According to Lively’s logic (?) who could ever hear a case regarding property rights since all the justices are likely home owners?

    • artem1s

      Also, married too, some (all?) of them. And they all breath air and drink water, so no ruling on any environmental stuff. Really it’s time to just do away with the court altogether idnit? I mean they are totally activist on all the things the fundies hate, so wouldn’t it be easier to constitutionally amend them out of existence?

      • DahBoner

        And the entire Supreme court were once foetus, so conflict of interest on Abortion.
        http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view6/4623774/beavis-and-butthead-laughing-o.gif

      • Jeff

        Sotomayor is divorced, Kagan never married, Ginsburg widowed, Thomas is married to a prominent conservative activist whose income he’s often neglected to report and whose organization has frequently taken positions and submitted briefs on cases before the court, Scalia’s wife does work for “Crisis Pregnancy Centers”, an issue the court has ruled on, Breyer’s wife is a member of the British aristocracy, Alito’s wife was a law clerk, but now seems to be out of the workforce, Roberts is married to a high powered corporate lawyer.

        Hmm, seems like you could find a few scandals in there. Oddly, they don’t seem to be with the liberal justices.

    • handyhippie65

      hey now, logic is one of dem tools o’ the debbil i been heerd of, ain’tn it? we don’t like yur kind round hyar! hey skeeter, run get muh whuppin stick! we gots one of dem gay-luvin logic users hyar!

  • dslindc

    LOL at so-called human, Scott Lively.

  • VandeGraf

    Scott Lively actually lives in a closet at Abiding Truth, and at night comes out to run Filthy Lies Ministries.

  • Fly

    If Jesus had died for Wonkettes sins, his whole shtick would have been about the abuse of snack foods.

  • JoyP

    “Some say” Lively is a closeted homosexual.

    • Boscoe

      I just read it in the post above mine, so it MUST be true!

  • MasterSkrain

    Well, since senile old Pat says that the occasional drunken blowjob is O.K., that must be a HUGE relief to Scott Lively and his boyfriend!
    Now they can BOTH go out partying more often!

  • handyhippie65

    just think in another generation, the oldtimey, evangelical, theocratic tyrants will have died off. couldn’t have happened to a nicer bunch of folks.

    • jim2011

      … is what everyone was saying circa 2000 … or 1990 … or 1980 …

      “Operation Demographic Deathwatch” needs death panelling ASAP.

      • Blank Ron

        It’s Obamacare. It’s allowing the oldtimey, evangelical, theocratic tyrants to live longer, so we will be infested with the damned things for longer than anticipated. Thanks, Obama.

        • handyhippie65

          ok, this time, thanx obama.

    • janecita

      It won’t happen. There is, a new generation of crazy Duggars reproducing like rabbits. We’ll have brainwashed bigots for a while.

      • handyhippie65

        boy, you’re a bubble popper, that’s what you are. poppity pop pop pop. i can’t hear you, lalalalalalala. they’re almost gone, they’re almost gone.

  • EscherEnigma

    Per the argument of the “cons”, SSM is damaging to straight marriages. So shouldn’t any justice in a straight marriage recuse themselves? After all, per the arguments of the cons, they’ll be ruling on something that directly impacts themselves.

    • JD Mulvey

      You’re ignoring the most important conservative legal principle, which is that they –and they alone –are entitled to dabble in rightwing stupidity, but only at a time and place of their choosing and they are not required to be consistent.

      It’s the venerable dictum of “Cum possim wingnut, ubi debeo wingnut.”

  • DahBoner

    Huh huh huh huh.

    You said ‘oral arguments are underway’
    http://media0.giphy.com/media/4M2pr8DR6n0tO/200w_d.gif

  • UnsaltedSinner

    I can only assume that Scott Lively will have a nasty encounter with Haggard’s Law some day.

    • Alex Grey

      OH NOES!!!

  • Stacey H

    Here’s hoping that President H. Clinton places President Obama on the Supreme Court during her terms.

    • MrsReardon

      Im gonna let you finish, but Elizabeth Warren would be the best Justice ever that Madame President could nominate.

  • Nothing will ever top NOM’s Two Million for Marriage social media campaign, or 2M4M … if there is a God, he’s got my sense of humor.
    https://youtu.be/3CkFGe3JJDc

  • MrsReardon

    They are not homosexual weddings; they are fucking just plain ole’ “So called weddings. ” You hetersoexual fuck taco.

  • MrsReardon

    They are not homosexual weddings; they are fucking just plain ole’ “So called weddings. ” You hetersoexual fuck taco.

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