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Fuck this guy

Ever since leaving the White House, the worst president in America’s history has mostly kept his stumbling idiot wordhole shut, because he is a man of integrity, and he would never stoop so low as to criticize President Obama, as he explained in 2009:

“I’m not going to spend my time criticizing him. There are plenty of critics in the arena,” Bush said. “He deserves my silence.”

Instead, as always, he’s left the dirty work to all of his bestest buds, like Dick Cheney and Dana Perino and Ari Fleischer and Karl Rove and every other person who ever served in his administration, so he could kick back, send nudie self-portraits to his sister, and attend the occasional fundraisers for peeps who tell Jews they really should accept Jesus Christ into their otherwise hell-bound hearts.

But this weekend, at the annual Republican Jewish Coalition extravaganza hosted at Sheldon Adelson’s Venetian Hotel in Vegas — where Republican politicians beg for shekels from the half dozen or so Jewish Republicans in America — the former literal usurper-in-chief shared his “thoughts” on how President Obama is ruining Bush’s glorious Missions Accomplished in the Middle East:

At one point, he cited Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina, a possible presidential candidate, who has criticized Mr. Obama’s policies in the region. Mr. Bush quoted Mr. Graham as saying, “Pulling out of Iraq was a strategic blunder.”

If there’s anyone who should understand strategic blunders, it would be George W. Bush, who spent his entire presidency blundering all over Iraq and Afghanistan. Would it be super dickish to point out, again, that time Republicans like Graham’s hetero lifemate John McCain considered pulling out of Iraq a victory, for which Bush deserved credit?

Never wrong

Bush also reminded attendees of how he did all that awesome ass-kickin’ and war-winnin’: by talkin’ real tough and killin’ the bad guys dead.

“In order to be an effective president … when you say something you have to mean it,” he said. “You gotta kill em.”

And it was because of George Bush’s meaning it so hard into a bullhorn that he was able to defeat Al Qaeda forever and smoke out bin Laden, dead or alive, except for how that didn’t happen at all because it turned out catching that one bad guy was kind of hard actually. For Bush, anyway. But he did catch other bad guys!

He defended his own administration’s handling of terrorism, noting that the terrorist Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, who confessed to killing Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl, was captured on his watch: “Just remember the guy who slit Danny Pearl’s throat is in Gitmo, and now they’re doing it on TV.”

So even though Bush failed to do any of the things he swore to do while he was president, it’s clear his policies were best, which is why if Obama weren’t such a weak FAIL, he would be following them. Like, say, in Iran:

Mr. Bush voiced skepticism about the Obama administration’s pursuit of a nuclear deal with Iran. Although he had begun the diplomatic effort to press Iran to give up its nuclear program, Mr. Bush questioned whether it was wise to lift sanctions against Tehran when the Islamic government seemed to be caving in, and suggested that the United States risked losing leverage if it did so.

Gee, maybe it is a strategic blunder to pursue the negotiations with Iran that Bush started. Dumb Obama, why can’t he be more like Bush but in a different way? That’s why America needs another REAL president, maybe another Bush even, to swagger just right and defeat all our enemies like George did. Not that he wants to push too hard for his brother Jeb:

He expressed a reluctance to enter the campaign fray, because it could be unhelpful to his brother and unseemly. “That’s why you won’t see me,” he said.

That’s funny, because if George Bush was such a great president who did everything the right way and killed all the bad guys except for the ones he couldn’t catch and the ones who got tossed into Gitmo, why ever would he think it might harm his brother’s chances of becoming president by reminding voters of that time he was president? Dubya was so damn good at presidenting, he even pulled off victories in the Middle East after he left office! Who wouldn’t want another member of that genius gene pool, so we can get back to re-winning all those wars Bush won, until President Obama un-won them, with his strategic blunders. That’s all on Obama; it’s not as if Bush is in any way responsible for the consequences of his presidency:

For George W. Bush, the remarks in Vegas showed he has little respect for how the current president is running the world. He also revealed that he takes little responsibility for the policies that he put in place that contributed to the current state of affairs.

Sure, it’s not like he almost broke the economy for good and got us into an unnecessary war that has somehow failed to spread peace and democracy throughout the Middle East even though that was totally the plan. Apparently, in Bush’s Bush-addled brain, everything was just fine until Obama took office, even though that is not how anyone in America, save for Bush’s closest friends and family and the idiots at Fox, remembers it, which is why no one is excited about yet another Bush presidency.

Yeah, maybe on second thought, it would be better if George just went back to his Houston mcmansion and kept his mouth shut.

[NYT / Bloomberg]

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  • Viva La Tabula Raza

    I guess him and Obama had a quid pro quo—I won’t criticize your foreign policy if you don’t prosecute me for war crimes.

    • Michael F Bell

      Well, George reneged on his part of the death. Ball’s in your court, Barak

      • Msgr_Moment

        Vote him to vote with votes, godvoteit!!

        • Amy!

          The is the most votely voting comment I have ever voting seen at Wonkette, which does not allow voting comments, any voting way.

  • Viva La Tabula Raza

    it would be better if George just went back to his Houston mcmansion
    Due to city ordinance, only one ex-President Bush can live in Houston at any one time. GHWB already lives there, so Dallas is blessed with the presence of his son.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Before John Stewart does to him what he just did to Cheney….

  • chascates

    I wonder what God speaks to him about these days.

  • Lizzietish81

    Why hasn’t Batman extradited this asshole to the Hague?

    • JustPixelz

      He doesn’t want to get cooties.

  • deanbooth

    …Now, watch this drivel.

  • exinkwretch

    Gosh, I love it when Miss Lindsey goes butch. Mercy me!

  • cousin itt

    What Barack “Fuckbucket” H. Obama might think about now that W has crawled out of his hidey-hole is convening a Truth and Reconciliation Commission and deal with the war criminals among us once and for all.

  • WiscoJoe

    What was it that Teddy Roosevelt had to say about foreign policy? Something like:

    “Scream ‘Axis of Evil’ and diddle with your own micro stick.”

  • georgiaburning

    He should go back to the job where he caused the least harm. The Texas Rangers are bringing back one drunk, why not two?

    • Blank Ron

      ‘He should go back to the job where he caused the least harm.’
      You’re right. Think Barb would mind having that zygote re-implanted?

  • beatbort

    Finally, a voice of reason, sanity and intelligence.
    I speak, of course, of Pres. Obama

  • smashedinhat

    Never too late to add a little chlorine to the old gene pool!

    • elviouslyqueer

      And by “chlorine,” you mean H2SO4, right?

      • Biff52

        That’s what Chavez said!

  • elviouslyqueer

    Oh, STFU, Dubya. Doesn’t Rick Perry have some brush that needs clearing at Niggerhead?

  • “Now watch this drive.”

  • MrBlobfish

    I really just don’t spend that much time on him, to be honest with you.

  • Toomush_Infer

    He should wait until history restores his reputation …………………………………….

    • FauxAntocles

      Rethuglicans will get around to rewriting that history just as soon as the repeal Obummercare.

      Oh, wait, they’re already on it – never mind.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      After the human race is extinct and another billion years of plate tectonics destroys all evidence that we were ever here, then the damage to Bush’s reputation will have been repaired.

      • Spotts1701

        Boy are you the optimist. I figured on the heat death of the universe, myself.

        • Blank Ron

          Dreamer. Clearly the best he can hope for is proton decay.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    “George W. Bush, who spent his entire presidency blundering all over Iraq and Afghanistan”

    You might say he’s been riding the blunderbus.

    • Msgr_Moment

      It is not a very long bus.

  • Virginia Dreaming

    If it weren’t for trash, dubya would have nothing to say.

  • say wha

    From one “artist” to another:

    “The secret to doing anything is believing that you can do it. Anything that you believe you can do strong enough, you can do. Anything. As long as you believe.”
    Bob Ross (RIP)

  • Geo H. Bush, revisionist historian’s most difficult challenge yet.

  • Joshua Norton

    Chimpy’s Middle East negotiating advice to Barry:

    Use more tongue.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      That picture taken from the box cover of “NOT A Coherent Foreign Policy, the XXX Parody!”

    • PorridgeGun

      Next he’ll be giving the President advice on the ladies.

      Benny Hill versus James Bond springs to mind…

      • H0mer0

        I heard the theme music from “Jaws” playing as I viewed the first photo series

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Rarely is the question asked: Are our ex-President learning?

  • BearGHAZI

    Does this mean he no longer gets to be the beloved ironically kool ex-prez all the hipsters love?

    • PsycWench

      The Republican Maynard G. Krebs?

    • Bitter Scribe

      These would be the same people who pay a lot of money for bicycles with one gear and no brakes, right?

  • JustPixelz

    What Would Dick Cheney Do? Then do the opposite.

  • Poly_Ester

    In W’s case, age has not brought wisdom, he still doesn’t know what he doesn’t know.

    Perhaps if 41 had invaded Iraq when he had the chance, he could have spared 43 the agony of the fubar.

    • FauxAntocles

      The difference would be ISIL would have come into existence 10 years earlier.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Bypassing OBL?
        And we might be done with them by now!
        Alternative universes are cool places . . . I wonder if there’s one where St. Ronaldus Reganus croaked early in his career.

        • H0mer0

          with votes! (I tried to vote absentee from Europe in ’84.)

        • Blank Ron

          Like, oh, 1950?

    • Beaumarchais?

      Remember that then-Defense Secretary Cheney argued against it.

    • david green

      I seem to recall that 41 was smart enough to see that finishing the invasion and killing off Saddam was a bone head move and wanted no part of it.

    • Smibo

      It must really suck to live in a world of wall-to-wall “unknown unknowns”. Then again, if ignorance truly IS bliss, he might very well be the Happiest Man In The World, but for that one pesky word that keeps him up at night:

      “Hague”.

  • Virginia Dreaming

    It’s kind of sad when the smartest Bush seems to be Jay’s dog, Duke.

    • jmk

      Hell, the plate of beans on the can is smrter than Dubya.

    • chicken thief

      Jar-Jar libelz!!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Nope, still don’t miss him.

  • Paperless Tiger

    That fanatic reportedly thought he was fighting the battle of Armageddon against Gog and Magog. That’s what made him useful for the banksters, who played him like a fiddle. They were able to crush emerging nations in the ME. The fact that it also put the USA in hock to them forever was a big bonus too.

  • YourMom

    This one’s easy to explain: pile on Obama-then link Hillary to Obama-help idiot brother Jeb.

    • chicken thief

      Then Jeb can point to Hillary and say “SHE VOTED FOR THE WAR AND I DINT!!!”.

  • Spotts1701

    Oh go back to your coloring book, George.

  • Ryan Denniston

    It was Bush who signed the agreement to withdraw troops from Iraq. Oh, to be HW, what a poor father.

  • Msgr_Moment

    That nose. Has he had surgery? Is he transitioning?

    • r m reddicks

      Snorted too much Koch.

    • BackDoorMan

      Transitioning into a human being? Medical science hasn’t advanced that far. Neither has Dubya, come to think of it.

  • Metadude

    Random wars, economic collapse, and Hurricane Katrina. Good times!

  • Welp, whatever honor he displayed keeping his mouth shut for the first six years of Obama’s terms just flew out the window. Reminding us that no matter how low they have gone in the past, or how long they manage to cling to a plateau of civility, eventually they will surprise us by diving even lower.

  • Sebastian Melmoth

    Bush’s McMansion is in Dallas, not Houston, but the sulfurous reek that Hugo Chavez detected at the UN is still in the air, especially when the wind blows in a certain direction.

  • chicken thief

    Am I the only one that believes that Obama had no real choice but to pull out of Iraq when he did because that was the date agreed upon by Bush in a SOFA in 2007?!

    Whether that is technically true or not, Bush did sign a SOFA with Iraq calling for the withdrawal of our troops along essentially that time table – so Bush is bashing Obama for doing what he, Bush, negotiated.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      A real President would never abide by international agreements. Didn’t you read Cotton’s letter from Congress?

    • chicken thief

      Ok, I got off my lazy ass and googled my own shit… Bush signed it in 2008. My bad.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S.%E2%80%93Iraq_Status_of_Forces_Agreement

      • Beaumarchais?

        That’s such a coincidence! Bush also signed “Obama’s” TARP legislation.

      • Steely_Fan

        No harm, no foul.

    • Zippy

      Not to mention that the result we see was inevitable, no matter what date we tried to pull out. That’s why hawks like Walnuts are completely full of shit- Iraq was going to blow up and fall apart a year or two after we pulled the thousands of troops holding it together, no matter when we did it. Had we done so earlier or five years later, the results would have been the same. The idea that if we’d only waited a while before we pulled out, things would have been different and successful is absolute nonsense. That result was preordained the day we went into Iraq and deposed Saddam- there never was a good exit strategy. This is just more GOP historical revisionism, “if only we’d exited differently”…

      • Biff52

        I always thought Iran was their exit strategy.

        • Zhu Bajie

          No, the Rapture and the Second Coming was Bush’s exit strategy.

      • sosuume

        W had figured it out and negotiated the inevitable mess for the next guy.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Please, do not further confuse the deserting sack of shit with facts.

    • r m reddicks

      You mean presididn’t’s are constrained by previous presinuts agreements? Cotton libelousness!

  • Fly

    After bringing peace to the middle east George Bush is disappointed that Obama destroyed all that he worked so hard to destroy.

  • D_C_Wilson

    Wait, Dubya talked about the Middle East and nobody pelted him with water balloons? He wasn’t laughed at and then yanked off the stage by a giant vaudeville hook? People actually listened to what he had to say about this topic?
    WTF?

    • chicken thief

      Seems like someone might have thrown a shoe or something at least…..

      • vivian

        a votey shoe

      • D_C_Wilson

        You’d think. Damn, what a missed opportunity.

      • BackDoorMan

        A soulless shoe would be fitting.

    • Jeff Furlington

      It’s the conservative inverse-meritocracy at work. They always reward fuckups.

      • BackDoorMan

        … Carly Fiorina can vouch for that.

    • r m reddicks

      I did take my shoes off and then I realized it was my computer monitor. Quite a disappointment.

      Edited because chicken thief was ahead in line. Sorry, c.t.

    • Biff52

      This was the Jewish Republican Coalition, generally favorable to warring against Muslim nations.

      • D_C_Wilson

        So what is the “Jewish Republican Coalition”? Eric Cantor, Bill Kristol, and their wives?

        • Beaumarchais?

          It’s Shelley Adelson and his dingleberry groomers.

          • david green

            That is why I hate rich people. Adelson has dingleberry groomers, and I have to groom my own. It ain’t fair!

  • Mary Sandoras

    “That’s why you won’t see me,” he said.

    What part of that doesn’t he understand?

    • Zippy

      AOI, K

  • Peacenik2012

    Dubya is an effing idiot. He makes Sarah Palin look like Stephen Hawking.

  • Bitter Scribe

    What’s the over/under on when Jeb will start saying, “Brother? I have a brother? What are you talking about? I’m an only child!”

    • Vienna Woods

      Jar Jar Bush LIBEL!!1!

      • handyhippie65

        jar jar bush! that is too good. one is just as annoying, and clueless as the other.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    “the worst president in America’s history”

    James Buchanan libelz!

    • Bitter Scribe

      To be fair about it, Buchanan was handed a shit sandwich. Dubya got a prosperous economy and a government surplus.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Yes, but Buchanan did diddly to fix what he was given.

        Then again, the deserting coward created out of whole cloth the mess he left Obama.

      • Rufus T. Firefly

        Actually, Buchanan helped make that shit sandwich and personally handed it to Lincoln.

  • dsmith

    He and Cheney are yet to be convicted war criminals.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Q. When will we see Dubya and his Dick VP travelling overseas?

    Ans.: When the Hague is no longer in business, or hell freezes over. And, who can blame them? War crimes trials are a bitch.

  • shaar dula

    oh yeah. this is what was missing from the discourse, GWB’s reductive/revisionist commentary on things he messed up. that should be complete a circle, yes sir.

    • shaar dula

      no i mean, the gaad apparently speaks to him. he didnt tell him about the debauchery of flirting around Truth? Perhaps because in the biblical sense only Truth can be debauched about, others such as Barbara, Margaret et al, you owe strict loyalty to, but “truth” she deserves no such thing. fukk her.

  • Me not sure

    In other news, former President Pot throws racial slur at President Kettle

  • TheBidenator

    Dubya was such a great preznit that no less than three countries have arrest on sight warrants issued for him…outdo that, libtards! Yeah, I thought so

    • D_C_Wilson

      I’m pretty sure Kissinger has more warrants written with his name on them.

    • willi0000000

      i seem to recall that several towns in Vermont have similar standing orders.

  • mailman27

    Every day he’s not in an orange jumpsuit is another day down the crapper.

  • TheBidenator

    This is telling of how far tiny wingnut heads have been up asses about Dubya: I remember Faux Nuuz praising him for his ‘leadership’ when the country was falling apart courtesy of the Community Reinvestment Act signed under Jimmy Carter…..seriously, oh and the Democratic congress was at fault for the economy because well, no reasons anyone could name just because.

  • AnOuthouse

    I could not imagine intentionally wanting to hear the slurry voice of that idiot ever again. He makes my skin crawl.

  • Joseph

    I see he still can’t dress himself.

    • BackDoorMan

      “Does this brooch make me look smrt?”

      • Beaumarchais?

        No. Neither will Rick’s glasses.

  • AnOuthouse

    I can understand the revisionist history being pushed by the party hacks but, GW, you failed to negotiate a status of forces agreement not Obama. Stop lying. The troops left Iraq whenever they did because of you. Own it.

  • OneYieldRegular

    For chrissakes, what the hell is he doing in Vegas? Time’s a wastin’! There are puppies waiting to be painted!

  • FZsdaughter

    Beggars belief.

  • laineypc

    Dear George,
    “It may be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others”.
    -Ashleigh Brilliant.

  • Anarchy Pony

    The region would certainly like to thank georgie for creating the conditions that led to the rise of isis.

  • Derp perp

    Daddy bush resides in Houston. Shrub resides near Dallas.

  • Mr Corrections

    To be fair to Bush, the worst President in American history was actually Reagan.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Disagree, if only because Reagan was more constrained by Congress than Bush ever was.

      • Mr Corrections

        Almost everything bad that is happening now is ultimately Reagan’s fault.

        Plus, he got away with crimes that dwarfed Nixon’s.

    • Zhu Bajie

      Bush II made Reagan look smart by comparison.

    • Objectifer

      Nobody remembers Buchanan. Bad as the Shrub and Raygun were, Ole Doughface stumbled and bumbled us into the Civil War.

      • Mr Corrections

        He’s also a really strong contender!

        • Unforgotten

          ‘If you are as happy in entering the White House as I shall feel on returning to Wheatland, you are a happy man indeed’

          Is this the kind of thing that a POTUS says to the guy (Lincoln) who was about to succeed him? And forget the whole mismanagement of the ‘slavery issue’, just by vetoing the Morril Act would make him one of the most short-sighted idiots that became POTUS ever!

          • H0mer0

            maybe his boyfriend was withholding buttsechs unless he vetoed it.

    • PorridgeGun

      “Well…”

      • PorridgeGun

        “There you go again.”

      • handyhippie65

        i was a soldier in 85′. i’m glad he liked them. and it is a perfect example of the similarities between the taliban, and evangelicals. even “ronaldus magnus” as rush calls him, thought so.

    • Steely_Fan

      Bobbert made the same assertion over on the Snake Oil thread the other day. Here’s what I wrote:

      Maybe. Having just read “The Invisible Bridge: The Fall of Nixon and the Rise of Reagan by Rick Perlstein” I know there’s plenty of evidence to support Reagan for the title. But, in view of Shrub’s failure to prevent 9/11 and his subsequent authorization of the invasion of Iraq at the bidding of his NeoCon puppet masters, which tanked the economy, resulted in the death and wounding of thousands of Americans and tens of thousands of Iraqis, ran up trillions of dollars of debt, and brought us to the sorry state of affairs that is the middle east today, I gotta give Reagan the #2 spot. Just my $.02.

      Add Tricky Dick into the mix and you have the trifecta of incompetence and deceit. See: “America’s Stolen Narrative: From Washington and Madison to Nixon, Reagan and the Bushes to Obama” by Robert Parry.

      • Mr Corrections

        I guess it comes down to whether you think self-serving treachery (Reagan), ass-covering sleaze (Nixon), or sheer bumbling idiocy (Bush II) is worse. Something else to think about, though, is that many of the really bad decisions of the Bush presidency were made by a bunch of neocons trying to finish all the business they started in the Reagan years.

  • BackDoorMan

    … shares an IQ with its namesake…

    • Floridatexan

      The dog is smarter.

  • I’d be content to let Bush dig a grave for every person who died as a result of his Middle East expertise.
    That’s the nicest thing I can say about him.

    • PorridgeGun

      *cough*

  • Zhu Bajie

    I was hoping he’d taken up full-time opium smoking or something.

  • Mavenmaven

    Funny, Bush will forever be commemorated by Iran as the man who created the Greater Shiite Empire.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Ah, Georgie, we hardly knew ye.

  • PorridgeGun

    Bush, 6 months after 9/11:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMVdh8vdJfs

    “Bin Laden determined to strike in US”

    August 6, 2001, presidential daily briefing (36 days befre 9/11):

  • Callyson

    Individual who presided over an unnecessary war and an economic implosion says what now?

    http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–Acvng_Yq–/to0nat1r2ig3xgfay5ke.gif

  • cheetojeebus

    Where to start???*

    *Try to map this out and you’ve basically got the wiring diagram for the LHC at Cern.

  • Amy!

    To be fair, people should listen when GWB speaks about policy and diplomacy fuck-ups in the middle east.

    With the possible exception of Dick Cheney, there is no one with greater experience in the field, in the twenty-first century to date.

  • Steverino247

    It would be a Federal offense for me to express an opinion regarding George W. Bush.

  • RoyalUglyDude

    Don’t go away angry, George. Just go away.

    • Cowpocalypse_Now

      I hope they try wheel out ‘the decider’ as often as possible. More Cheney too.

  • riledupone

    In that picture, he looks like he’s dressing up as a General on the Christianists side of the War on Christmas (TM).

  • willi0000000

    “In order to be an effective president … when you say something you have to mean it,” he said. “You gotta kill em.”

    that one statement completely defines shrub . . . the president’s duty is to kill people

    NO! you asshole . . . a president’s duty is to lead the country, to promote the welfare of its citizens, to govern wisely, to be a good example, to show the rest of the world what civilization should be all about . . . not to murder those who disagree with you or have something you want and won’t just give it away to you.

    the only good thing that might come from shrub’s terms in office is the hope that we never have another president that is as bad.

    • motmelere

      sad to say, this field of candidates make him look decidery.

  • DahBoner

    “Pulling out of Iraq was a strategic blunder.”

    WHAT George W. BUSH is trying to SAY is that he’s PARTIAL to cream pies…

    http://s3.amazonaws.com/gmi-digital-library/e4c193db-5ef4-47ae-888b-b964dcf699db.jpg

  • motmelere
  • Blank Ron

    I think it’s cute when he plays dress-up.

  • Cowpocalypse_Now

    Republicans must be in serious in trouble if they are bringing out the Texas sized dummy to try get their 2016 push to the white house in gear.

  • gallbladder

    Hey W, you stupid fucking cunt, remember this little gem? How’d all that good ‘ol American bravado work out for you in the end? Not too good, huh?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKdbZWNqF00

  • Don

    Is this the worst the libs can find on Bush “trashing” Obama? I was expecting so much more, but I guess if Bush has one redeeming quality it’s class. After all, Bush never bashed Obama in either of Obamas elections, whereas Obama is constantly bashing Trump.

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