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The truth is out there. Very, very far out there

Here’s how nutso the Chemtrail People are: they’re actually too crazy for a Tea Partier, Arizona Republican congresscritter Paul Gosar, DDS, who got yelled at by an assortment of chemtrail enthusiasts at Monday’s meeting of the Conservative Republican Club of Kingman. Kingman appears to be a hotbed of Chemtrail Trutherdom, as we’ve reported before. The wingnuts in the audience were not pleased by Gosar’s complete denial of the international weather modification plot — popularly known as chemtrails — that is poisoning us from the skies!

Here’s the video, uploaded by Great Patriot Luca Zanna, host of the “Love, Guns & Freedom” podcast:

Gosar fielded a question from a man identifying himself as Al Pacheco DiCicco [correction: we used the name as written in the RawStory piece, but it’s Al DiCicco all right], who just wanted Gosar to know that:

For the past several years we’ve been testing people’s blood, hair follicles, rainwater, and soil […] I’ve been involved in opposing geo-engineering projects above Arizona as well as elsewhere. We have a serious situation here, where we have submitted information to the Arizona Department of Environmental Quality whose own mission statement is to protect our environment, including our air […]

My body is filled with barium, aluminum, and strontium, and no one’s doing anything about it. That’s why I’m here today. Because we want answers and we want something done instead of being placated and have people make fun of us about “tin-foil hats”? Well, go get your blood tested. You’ll throw your tin-foil hat away, as well as your jokes. This is a serious matter … We all are aware that geo-engineering and solar radiation management is going on worldwide. My questions is: what are you going to do about it, and when?

After the enthusiastic applause died down, Gosar asked, “Okay, who are science guys here?”

Pacheco DiCicco shot back, “We don’t need science!”

Gosar, perhaps a bit surprised at the depth of Pacheco’s honesty, replied “Really?” while another off-camera voice said, “Yes we do.”

Gosar then explained that the whole science schmegegge works a whole lot better when you have data that can be replicated, but then, perhaps sensing that he might be losing votes by opening the door to fantastic impossibilities like evolution or climate change, quickly added that he doesn’t trust the government either, but also cautioned that you won’t win a lot of friends by blaming the United Nations for everything. And then he started spouting a lot of crazy talk about how uranium and barium are elements that are found in higher than normal concentrations in Arizona due to uranium deposits in the Grand Canyon that get kicked up into the air, as if anyone would believe something so nutty, when all you have to do is LOOK UP and see the jets spraying chemtrails every day!!!!!!! And so, right on cue, a woman in the audience called him out:

Chemtrail Lady: We’re talking about what is being dispensed by aircraft…

Gosar: Well, there is nothing there…

(Another voice, maybe the cameraman: Let her finish!)

Gosar: When we start talking to different universities and reputable aspects, [?] there’s no replication they can find at all.

Chemtrail Lady: Because they’re covert operations, so you’re not going to get anyone. You have two eyes, you just need to look up and look up at the sky! […]

Gosar: In some ways I have to start trusting the National Institute for Health…

Chemtrail Lady: We’ve been researching it and studying it for years and years…

Gosar: Who has?

Chemtrail Lady: Many of us, many citizens, we’re up to millions, right now, globally, who have researched this. There is people all around the world testing their blood, the soil, snow*, rainwater. And aluminum, barium, and strontium is not just on the rise, it’s off the charts! It’s extremely concerning, it’s coming from somewhere, it’s global, and the only way that can happen is if it’s airborne. We want it investigated!

*Or what the government tries to tell us is snow!

Gosar tried to mollify her with some stupid stuff about universities and atmospheric science and peer review, but everybody knows that they’re all in on the scam. Also, we bet that the science departments at Arizona’s three public universities will love him for his suggestion that the Mohave County Chemtrails Investigation Club gather their data and take it to the universities — thanks one hell of a lot, Congressman.

This isn’t the first run-in that Rep. Gosar (the Destroyer) has had with people farther out on the “we love America and hate the actual government” spectrum. A couple years back, he got into trouble with some other Super-Duper Patriot ladies for not loving the Constitution enough, and barely escaped alive.

Next time Gosar attends a town hall, he should come in the form of a large and moving Torg. Many Shuvs and Zuuls will know what it is to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, we can tell you!

[RawStory / Love, Guns, & Freedom]

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  • chicken thief

    And aluminum, barium, and strontium is not just on the rise, it’s off the charts!

    And apparently they makes people really fucking stupid!11!!!!

    • bikerlaureate

      I read that the only way that could happen is if it’s airborne.

      • Boscoe

        -Just like Ebola and Teh Ghey!

        • willi0000000

          Teh Ebola Ghey was a B29

          • Blank Ron

            I would LOVE to see the nose art that would go with this.

          • Gleem-McShinez

            You probably don’t.
            Fatman: Rush in a skirt, Littleboy: up the skirt

  • MrBlobfish

    “We don’t need science!”
    That should be on a t-shirt.

  • handyhippie65

    jet fuel is similar to kerosene. so if it is in diesel exhaust, it is in chemtrails. like 18 wheelers in the sky.

  • laineypc
    • Bitter Scribe

      I know, right? If these morons lived in Oklahoma, what do you want to bet they’d say all this stuff about frackquakes is a lot of librul lies, now let me tell you about this strontium aluminum that’s fillin’ mah brain…

    • nmmagyar

      One of the only shitty things that we didn’t have to worry about in this god-forsaken, shit-hole of a state is now happening. If it was just the Permian basin area (west Texas and it’s ugly cousin – I’m looking at you Hobbs) I wouldn’t care. But there is also some activity up around the four corners.

      • That part of the country is literally going to be an uninhabitable hellscape when the groundwater runs dry and the second dust bowl rolls in.

    • Blank Ron

      It’s no fun if it’s real. If it’s real you might have to eventually face *gasp* FACTS!

  • chicken thief

    “…we have submitted information to the Arizona Department of Environmental Quality…”

    So the guy the doesn’t trust the gubmint submits his ‘data’ to the gubmint then goes to a gubmint town hall meeting to bitch to a gubmint official that the gubmint didn’t do anything about it?

    I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that fucker ain’t a member of Mensa.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, he seems to be a bright as a kitchen table, but not as useful.

  • whatwhomever

    “My body is filled with barium, aluminum, and strontium,”
    This fellow should be more worried about the poop filling his head.

    • unStunned

      Couldn’t count the times i’ve had blood work done, but I don’t believe these three elements were included in the screen.

      Ask your doctor if Barium, Aluminum and Strontium are right for you.

      • I feel like the Aluminium spelling fits best in this context.
        ~

        • mtn_philosoph

          My old chem(trails) teacher used to joke that the doctors who practiced nuclear medicine would either Helium, Curium or Barium.

      • MrBlobfish

        If you ranting lasts more than four hours, consult a physician.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        If your doctor is Dr. Art Robinson, he’ll say “Hell, yes! Let’s use radioactive waste for the foundation of your house!”

      • BackDoorMan

        … and ask him if you’re healthy enough for sex. If he says “yes”, tell him to hook you up.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Oh gee. A guy who got elected by morons has to deal with morons. I have to go cry now.

  • RoyalUglyDude

    These loons should know that if their Congresscritter is a dentist, he can already read their thoughts. (Because of the computer chips in their molars, duh).

  • RoyalUglyDude

    This calls for some Tom Lehrer.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYW50F42ss8

    • Vienna Woods

      That is what has been running through my head since I started reading this.

  • ArgieBargie

    I’m pretty sure the “Love, Guns, & Freedom” site is owned by The Onion.

    • willi0000000

      you could be onto something there . . . what if The Onion crew is koch funded and out to destroy the world via thousands of nutter websites?

    • Msgr_Moment

      A panda walks into a penitentiary, fucks a prison guard, then pulls out several semi-automatics, and makes her open all the cells. As he is leaving, he throws a book at the guard’s feet…..

  • azeyote

    my body is filled with the chronic – so there.

  • cousin itt

    Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
    A: If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.

    I’ll show myself out.

    • cheetojeebus

      Stay! You’re not boroning me.

      • vivian

        Thank you and Good Nitrogen.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Oh, carb-on!

    • Amy!

      On the bloody morning after
      One tin soldier rides away.

  • Mahousu

    What do you expect with Barium Obama as president? And did you know the government swapped out all the tin foil in stores with aluminum? So when you try to protect yourself, it gets even worse?

    • LinnieMae

      It’s a plot by Big Foil. They’re in cahoots with Barium.

  • unStunned

    The last good thing to come our of Kingman, AZ was Andy Devine. And that was a long, long time ago.

    Still, it is amusing to see the Republicans having to reap what they have sown. It’s like showing up at your family reunion and being mortified.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Twang your magic twanger, Froggy!….

  • bumfug

    The bitter tears I weep over the lunacy in this country are leaving crusty deposits of aluminum on my cheeks.

  • cousin itt

    Not to mention the galactic conspiracy involving the unobtanium futures market.

    • Msgr_Moment

      I thought it was upsidaisium.

  • MrBlobfish

    Is it every airplane? Only one airline? Is it in the fuel or dispersed separately? Who puts it in the fuel or loads it elsewhere? If elsewhere, does the pilot release it? Does he have orders where to release it? Is it just aluminum, barium, and strontium? Do different areas get different quantities? Are they dropping it on other countries? How do the people who do this protect themselves and their families? When did this start? On who’s orders? Do these pants make me look fat?

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      Yes.

    • Grokenstein

      AOT,K.

    • SufferinSuccotash,Entitled

      You ask too many questions. Vee haf vays of dealing with your sort.

    • mailman27

      Lose the pants.

    • Smibo

      Yes.

    • LinnieMae

      No time for all those questions. Just ruuuuuuunnnnn! Ruuuuuunnnnnn for your liiiiiiiiiiifffffeeee!

      Can you imagine running on that much adrenaline all the time? That can’t be good.

    • toomanyrappers

      Benghazi.

  • Fuckers voted for Gosar, they deserve their fate.

    http://www.american-buddha.com/ghostbust.248c.gif
    ~

  • JustPixelz

    “My body is filled with barium, aluminum, and strontium, and no one’s doing anything about it.”

    My body is filled with peanut butter, cheese fries and booze. And, I’m warning you, no one better do anything about it.

    • zerosumgame0005

      Would a bottle of whiskey and some Cheeto’s help?

    • Left Coast Tom

      Mine will be filled with wine in a few hours. Please don’t “rescue” me.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Can I get some Cheeztrails flights over my house too plz?

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    THEY ARE ALSO PUTTING FLOURIDE IN THE WATER, SHEEPLE!!!

    • zerosumgame0005

      well, there go our bodily fluids down the drain

      • Rainwater and grain alcohol for everybody!
        ~

        • OrdinaryJoe

          I’ll drink to that.

        • FauxAntocles

          90… more… minutes…. must… hang…. on….

        • Toomush_Infer

          I would, but I’m afraid the string in my legs has given out…

  • Adrian

    Those aren’t “chemtrails” they are Serf-Enabling Rainbows.

  • deanbooth

    “You’ve gotta tell them. You’ve gotta tell them! Tinfoil hats are made out of people!”

    • shastakoala

      So if chemtrails really are responsible for poisonings they really can eat their hats.

  • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

    I wonder what the appeal of this Chemtrail idea is? I mean other than going to to an airshow where the contrails are tinted and thinking ” what else are they putting in?” or maybe associating planes with crop dusting? Humans are an odd bunch.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Technically speaking at an airshow they’re not contrails, just colored smoke.

      • Cranky Man

        We don’t need technicals, ugh, technishuns, err, USA USA USA.!

  • Grokenstein
  • Spotts1701

    My body is filled with barium, aluminum, and strontium
    Great, three of the most common elements found on the planet Earth. That’ll narrow down the source.

  • CountryShank

    There’s a lot of strontium and other radioactive elements in the environment, much of it from nuclear bombs that were tested around the planet in the last 20th century. It will be around for a long time. No great conspiracy there.

    • nmmagyar

      And much of that testing was done right next door to Arizona. Just saying…

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Given the level of stupid that comes out of Arizona, you sort of wonder if “they” may be testing something by spraying it on the people there.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      It would a explain a lot. But what’s the motivation? Fraternity prank by some nerds out at CalTech?

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Area 51 was secretly compromised and taken over by aliens who are trying to test out how to serve man.

        • Blank Ron

          The hint of strontium adds a certain piquancy to the richness of the aluminum.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            “It gives a walnutty aftertaste, to offset the citrus highlights”

        • LinnieMae

          Aww, you beat me to it! “IT’S A COOKBOOK!!!!”

  • Villago Delenda Est

    My body is filled with barium, aluminum, and strontium
    Actuallly, buckaroo, it’s mostly water, and in your case there seem to be more that trace amounts of idiotium.

  • SufferinSuccotash,Entitled

    Sooner or later those loons will have to go to sleep!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRVfGMjdGh8&feature=youtu.be

  • OneYieldRegular

    It’s really too, too bad that a representative from a party known for thinking that God created the earth 6,000 years ago, that humans can’t possibly be impacting the climate, and that Barack Obama is a Kenyan-born Muslim communist fascist has to deal with all these nutty people spouting crazy theories.

    • willi0000000

      yeah . . . whatever happened to that faith that man would never be allowed to disturb the natural balance?

  • Left Coast Tom

    Kingman Arizona, huh? I’ve driven by the place…I guess if I do so again “stopping” wouldn’t be a good idea.

    • Vecciojohn

      God no, that place is right in the chemtrail path!

      • TootsStansbury

        There’s a reason it’s called fly over country. It’s a TRAP!!!11!!!!

  • SufferinSuccotash,Entitled

    But all those contrails are really Clint Eastwood coming to save your ass from a 50-foot tarantula.

    https://youtu.be/BPw81RbJhAM

  • Toomush_Infer

    Sooo….no to dinosaurs, no to climate change….but watch the fuck out for “chemtrails”….well, happy trails to you….

  • Fly

    If you’re looking for chemtrails just follow Rushs’ anal orifice. You can do so by putting your ear up to any AM radio.

  • Vecciojohn

    Just what is it about us Republicans that attracts so many damn loonies?!

    • nmmagyar

      I think there are just as many loonies on the left, but we don’t give them a microphone and a national audience.

      • SterWonk

        I don’t know, the “extra-crunchy granola” segment of the anti-vaxers seem to have a pretty sizable audience… :-(

        • LinnieMae

          Yeah, I used to think that irrational paranoia was only for right-wingers, then I realized that the left has its own fear-driven looniness, just over different issues. With the right, it’s over threats from government or from unknown “outsiders”, like immigrants or One World Order conspiracies. With the left, corporations are the boogeymen, especially related to health and food. Along with anti-vax, there’s every variety of anti-science woo. I came to that sad realization about my people when I started exploring my own anti-science beliefs. Now I’m in a no-(wo)man’s land in between. But it feels good to shed the fears and have a better grounding in reality.

          • Ike Carumba

            Long-time stoner friends from my hippie days also believe in power spots, weather-altering contrails, spooky flying saucers, hollow earth theory, flat earth theory, illuminati-danger EMF-danger (no cell phones are allowed in their house), vaccination-danger on and on. Don’t know how much longer I can hang with these folks. It’s so frustrating when semi-smart people prefer paranoid fantasy to reality (especially when there’s plenty of real danger to worry about… like the nazi in the White House).

        • nmmagyar

          But they don’t have a whole TV network

    • Toomush_Infer

      Starting so high on the curve?…

  • LoveSW_Prequels

    “Okay, who are science guys here?”
    “We don’t need science!”

    Amazing

    • SufferinSuccotash,Entitled

      So how did all those funny-sounding elements get discovered in the first place?
      Sheesh!

      • Blank Ron

        Aliens. Duh.

    • willi0000000

      ‘science’ wouldn’t have them.

      “The good thing about science is that it’s true whether or not you believe in it.”
      – Neil deGrasse Tyson

      • doktorzoom

        Yeah, well we’ll be taking down that Tyson character tomorrow…

  • Shalimar

    My body is filled with barium, aluminum, and strontium, and no one’s doing anything about it.?

    I don’t understand. Assuming that something in the environment or food is actually putting poisonous chemicals into our bodies in some way, why are you sure it comes from vapor trails you see in the sky? Who benefits from paying lots of money to spray poison on all of us? How do they benefit from all of us being poisoned? Do the people making these decisions get exposed themselves?

    I read this when I was young too: http://resource.rockyview.ab.ca/rvlc/ela7/English7D2L/1Unit/ZAnswerKeysExams/LAEXAM1.htm (This version I found online is missing the last question and answer between the sisters; the work she went back to in her garden was spraying pesticide)

    The difference being, aliens aren’t expected to need a reason for wanting us all dead. People don’t approve spending billions of dollars on a government program without having some purpose.

    • Anarchy Pony

      The least insane theory regarding the “chemtrails” is that they are an undisclosed geoengineering project designed for slowing global warming by introducing reflective particulate matter to the atmosphere(such projects have actually been proposed). People that believe this think the consequences are widespread pollution and contamination by the fallout of the chemicals used in the process, not directly intentional poisoning. The more loony versions generally involve new world order/illuminati depopulation and/or mind control conspiracies.

  • This crowd could use some common sense, otherwise known as “unobtanium” in Kingman, AZ.

  • mrpuma2u

    Never mind that Aluminum is the third most common element in the earth’s crust….

    • Duke

      Stop doing science

  • Spurning Beer

    Alright smart guys, how did cheetonium get into their bloodstream, huh?

    • Gleem-McShinez

      “Yeah Science Government Guy! Explain that! I have my head way up my own ass so there’s no way it got in through either of those places!!1”

    • riledupone

      It was an unlabeled additive to mountaindeutonium.

    • LinnieMae

      It’s even funnier that I’m hearing that in Homer’s voice.

  • Vecciojohn

    Some scientists say that the major building block of the universe is hydrogen because it’s the most plentiful element, but my theory is that the universe is made out of stupidity, because it is more plentiful than hydrogen.
    – Frank Zappa

    • Steverino247

      At least in this part of the universe…

    • LinnieMae

      The Bozone Layer … It’s the clowns.

  • mailman27

    My body is filled with blood. ITS RAINING BLOOD SHEEPLE111!!!1!!!

    • Anarchy Pony

      OH GAWD! NOT THE BLOOD SHEEPLE!

      • mailman27

        I wasn’t suggesting that it was raining punctuation. IT NEVER RAINS PUNCTUATION!11!!1!

    • Dear lord, look at all this iron and calcium in your system. Call a medic, stat!

      • willi0000000

        not to mention large quantities of carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and nitrogen!!!!!

        [all found in explosives also, too]

        • Amy!

          We’re all …

          (wait for it)

          … DY-NO-MITE!

          (ba-dum tish. applause track)

  • ThisNameInUse

    These are the people who keep the Republican Party in business.

  • Rick Hill

    The bottom line is that these folks have never in their lives looked up and saw contrails, they only recently appeared.

  • John Strycharz

    I’d like to spray these fuktwits with upsidasium, so they can inspect vapour trails up close!

  • diogenez

    Schadenfreude at its best. The GOP has spent years nurturing and exploiting these lunatics.

    • Blank Ron

      I cling to the hope that it backfires on them, sooner or later.

      • When it does, the echo of the backfire will shake the universe and mankind will stand back in stupefaction

  • Cowpocalypse_Now

    Jesus titty fucking christ on a stick. Whenever I think humans can’t get any dumber a story like this comes along.

  • unclejeems

    Well, Mr. Pacheco is certainly full of something. Probably not barium and aluminum, though.

  • chascates

    I wonder how many of these knuckle draggers were carrying guns?

  • Celtic_Gnome

    These people sound like they’d fap to Snowpiercer.

  • TootsStansbury

    Barium goes in poop comes out. You can’t explain it!

    • PubOption

      Lower GI check?

  • I’ve been huffing a lot of platinum and iridium because I wants me a positronic brain.

    • Blank Ron

      Don’t you DARE incorporate the Zeroth Law into your matrix!

  • TootsStansbury

    I’ll never understand these people. The Tea Party is just some fake populist, outrage propaganda outfit set up to convince the rubes to vote against their own best interest out of spite and hatered of everyone who is not them. Their masters are vandals bent on recreating this country in their sick, fascist, plutocratic ideals.

    Oh, shit. We’re talking about the chemtrail loons. Never mind.

  • Bren

    https://youtu.be/o-zoPgv_nYg

    I think there is something to this strange chemicals that people from Arizona have in them. We saw it during McCain’s run for President when he showed us he had a load of Bombbombbombiran in him.

  • Fly

    I found some crazy shit at the 420 fest in Denver,but I did not see crazy shits like these people except in Colorado Springs.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    You’d think you could make these people go away by pointing up in the air and saying, “Look! A jumbo jet!”

  • Callyson

    Now we know why the Food Babe and Dr Oz make bank…

    • Enfant Terrible

      Not to be a grammar cop, but it’s “Are you a idiot?”

      • a is for preceding consonants, where as an is for preceding vowels

      • Ike Carumba

        Saxo the Grammarian – you are an idiot

  • Paperless Tiger

    In fact the airborne radioactive waste from the era of nuclear detonation experiments has only now saturated the atmosphere, and spread out evenly. Meanwhile, the radiation that does fall from the atmosphere does not break down, but accumulates in soil and water, poisoning everything it touches in perpetuity. – Wake Up World.

    Don’t worry. It will be gone in a few billion years.

  • You can’t spell Crazy without AZ.

  • Guest

    There are millions of them, so start locking your doors.

  • Iron Monkey

    I know it has been a while but Al Pacino has really let himself go since he played Roy Cohn in “Angels in America”.

  • Me not sure

    Everyone knows that chemtrails are not the government’s fault but are caused by gay-married flying flatulent monkeys from the ACLU and the Illuminati-abortionist New World Order! ….
    WAKE UP AMERICA THEY’RE COMING FOR YOUR BIBLES AND GUNS !

  • tiredofdogma

    Oh wonkette, you’re slipping. The guy’s name is Al DiCicco, not Pacheco. There is a wealth of no shit material out there for you. Here’s a taste:

    Arizona chemtrail activist runs for County Supervisor

    REPUBLICAN PRECINCT COMMITTEEMAN, AL DICICCO, FROM GOLDEN VALLEY, ARIZONA HAS SUBMITTED ELECTION PAPERS AND ALL REQUIRED SIGNATURES TODAY TO RUN FOR MOHAVE COUNTY SUPERVISOR DISTRICT 4

    • doktorzoom

      Ah, sorry — was using RawStory’s identification of the guy, but you’re right — he’s in the YouTube comments as “Al DiCicco” — will update. Thanks!

  • Steverino247

    I’ll be driving through Kingman, AZ on Sunday. I’ll be sure to lower the windows and fart as much as I can.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Take your barium enema first!

      • Steverino247

        PFFFFT, Mission Accomplished

  • Poly_Ester

    These people believe in chemtrails but not global warming? Interesting.

    • LinnieMae

      It always amazes me how conspiracy theorists can hold two mutually exclusive beliefs without any obvious cognitive dissonance.

      • Gregory Brown

        They aren’t smart enough for the necessary cognition. It has been proven that stupid people are not smart enough to realize they’re stupid.

        • LinnieMae

          So then we’re in an irreversible downward spiral with these nuts, eh? Well, FML.

    • LinnieMae

      It always amazes me how conspiracy theorists can hold two mutually exclusive beliefs without any obvious cognitive dissonance.

  • Biff52

    I’ve spent a goodly percentage of my life in the desert, including too many years near the town Art Bell calls home. You haven’t lived until you’ve actually listened in on a “normal”, matter-of-fact conversation on chemtrails. These are true believers.

  • cessnadriver

    I have a picture of a B-17 making contrails. Blows them away.

    • Lazy Media

      THAT’S HOW FAR BACK THE CONSPIRACY GOES!

      • chicken thief

        But still masterminded by the devious and nefarious Barack HUSSEIN Obama, right?!

        • LinnieMae

          Shhhhh! Now you must be killed.

        • Lazy Media

          Well, duh, of course. He doesn’t have that time machine for nothing.

          • Gregory Brown

            He’s also been to Mars, when he was a teenager, using a special teleportation system developed at the 2-year College of the Siskyous, in Weed, CA.

          • LinnieMae

            Well yaaaaa. That’s how he went back and dummied up that birth certificate. And he thought we’d never know. Ha!

      • chicken thief

        But still masterminded by the devious and nefarious Barack HUSSEIN Obama, right?!

    • Ron Noname

      That’s how WWII was won, with poison rather than guns, bombs and those real human beings who died from them.
      S/

  • smashedinhat

    As scientific conspiracy theories go I much prefer http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Project_Blue_Beam over chemtrails.

  • LinnieMae

    You know, these Tea Party candidates humor these nutjobs to vote for ’em, they deserve it. Sit on the big boy side of the podium and see how it feels now.

  • Esteban Rey

    I don’t get why people get so worried about Chem Trails. Just get a spray bottle with some white vinegar and you can clear them right up. Plus I don’t really get enough barium and strontium in my diet anyway.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      ^^ Windex.

  • celtic_buddha

    How could they have missed all the unobtainium found in blood samples? It has been leeching into the atmosphere ever since the Resource Development Administration has been transporting from Pandora and poisoning us all. It will turn us all into the tree-hugging Gaia groupie Na’vi.

  • nelore

    Top notch Republican mealy mouth Marco Rubio will soon face the Chemtrail Lady.

  • Morrison2525

    So, for explaining the aluminum in their bodies, they’ve ruled out the wearing tinfoil?

    • Me not sure

      We know it isn’t antiperspirant!

    • Guest

      And the Barium is obviously from Obama, they changed the name from Barackium to hide that. Same symbol though.

    • Guest

      And the Barium is obviously from Obama, they changed the name from Barackium to hide that. Same symbol though.

  • TheBidenator

    ….and they fail to see the parallels between these anti-science raving wingnuts and their own anti-science wingnuttery….

  • Ron Noname

    A chemtrail is what’s left on the mirror after you’ve snorted a line of meth.
    No wonder these life forms see them.
    Treat them with kindness, hold up the rock so they can slither back under from whence they came.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    What do we do when the citizenry are crazier than the tea-baggin lawmaker?

  • Donna Rail

    Sciene fiction is a whole lot better when you’re not drunk.

  • Donna Rail

    Sciene fiction is a whole lot better when you’re not drunk.

  • Poly_Ester

    I’ll probably be killed for saying this, but its become so obvious. Its not CO2, CHEMTRAILS CAUSE GLOBAL WARMING!!!!!!!!!! It all fits together, Glenn Beck will be so proud of me!

    • DahBoner

      Actually methane from cows contribute more to global warming than Transportation, but try to tell that to a cow!
      http://media.giphy.com/media/GIxTb0MpZtiow/giphy.gif

      • Poly_Ester

        The cows are there as a result if human activity, animal husbandry, so the methane is still anthropogenic.

  • DahBoner

    Orville and Wilber Wright never left vapor trails!!!!!!1!1!
    http://media.giphy.com/media/kFnylFBxULalq/giphy.gif

    • LinnieMae

      OMG!!!! SEE HOW OFTEN THOSE PLANES ARE FLYING THAT SAME PATH?! SEEMS LIKE EVERY MINUTE!!! THERE’S SOMETHIN’ UP RIGHT THERE!!

      RUNNNNNNNNN, PEOPLE!!!!

  • timpundit

    My world is a little off kilter here….I have these odd feelings of …respect(?) for this tea guy. How am i suppose to process this, now??

    • LinnieMae

      Lie down until it passes.

  • YourMom

    Chem trails is where the far, far left and the far, far right find common ground. Not kidding. The ones I know who rant about this are pretty far left.

  • YourMom

    And this says it all:
    After the enthusiastic applause died down, Gosar asked, “Okay, who are science guys here?”

    Pacheco shot back, “We don’t need science!”

    • LinnieMae

      Uh-oh. At that point, things could get tense. Maybe he could’ve planned a little song-and-dance in case he found himself in the middle of an exercise in futility like that. Or maybe he could get Bill Nye the science guy to come along, and tailor the information to the level of the crowd.

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