Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-Benghazi!!111!) went on the Fox News Greta Van Susteren program and dropped a surprising bombshell about the House's top secret investigation into Benghazi: The report probably won't be released until 2016, right smack in the middle of the election. Huh! Gowdy says it's silly to suggest the GOP-controlled committee is doing this to try to hurt Hillary Clinton, because “[t]hat assumes the report would be critical of [Clinton] and I don’t make that assumption because we’re still in the process of gathering facts." See? It's just normal stuff, Republicans investigating Benghazi for the 80 gazillionth time, and they don't even know what they're going to find! Probably the same big nothing all the other investigations found, but pay that no mind. Gowdy continued:
If the report is not critical of her, then she would probably want it to come out closer to the election but it’s not going to come out in the middle of 2016. I hope it doesn’t come out in 2016, period. I hope we are done before the end of the year and I say hope because there are certain variables that I cannot control.
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Like, maybe it depends on whether they've found the SMOKING GUN that proves that Hillary Clinton is the Devil. If they haven't found it, we bet it probably won't come out in the thick of the campaign! These are variables that Rep. Gowdy cannot control.
But this is not about Hillary Clinton, except for how it IS about Hillary Clinton. Van Susteren plays a clip of John Boehner explaining this is all Hillary's fault, because she's making it extra difficult for them to get to the bottom of the facts on what actually happened that night. This is TOTALLY true, because she clearly deleted all the e-mails that say "Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, I did Benghazi!" Gowdy also says that they don't know how long this will take, because nobody will give them any of the documents they absolutely require in order to determine that Hillary Clinton personally traveled to Benghazi and killed those people herself. Produce the documents, Hillary!
Clinton's people have, of course, called bullshit:
[Hillary for America Campaign Chairman John] Podesta said in a statement Wednesday the delay was “solely about playing politics.”
“This action is the latest example in a broad concerted effort by Republicans and their allies to launch false attacks against Hillary Clinton’s record and deep experience on foreign affairs and national security,” the statement read.
Podesta noted that the committee's investigation process would be longer than those for Iran-Contra, the Kennedy Assassination, Watergate and 9/11.
Well, why wouldn't it? Only one person died in the Kennedy assassination, thousands died on 9/11, but Benghazi was the only time that FOUR AMERICANS DIED, ALAN. It's a special number, for some reason, to the GOP. Probably because HillaryDidIt. And when they find Big Nothing again, they can keep blaming Hillary, start a new investigation that will last long into Clinton's first term, ever more certain that if they just keep looking, they will findThe Whitey Tape proof that Hillary Clinton personally murdered Vince Foster... SOMETHING, goddammit, they will find something.
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[ Fox News via Crooks and Liars ]
It's compelling evidence.
Have you ever seen a unicorn? Heard of a unicorn sighting?
No?
Never?
Hillary killed them! Scientific proof!
Merde, oui!