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As sovereign as you get

Meet Tamah Jada Clark, a “Floridian-American” sovereign citizen who brought a whole new meaning to “swearing before the court” when she recently filed an obscenity-filled court document titled “Notice: To F*ck This Court and Everything that it Stands For” after a judge dismissed a lawsuit that she’d filed. Clark had claimed that her civil rights were violated five years ago when she was arrested in a failed attempt to break her boyfriend out of prison.

Clark’s April 20 rant is a masterpiece of Sovereign Citizen logic, explaining to U.S. District Court Judge Willis B. Hunt that she didn’t believe for one minute he even has the power to dismiss her case:

DO go on...

We’re not entirely clear what she’s getting at here, because, as in any good legal document, she just launches into a refutation without quite saying what it is she’s refuting. But one thing is clear: the judge is an “old, IMPOTENT geezer” and also a “F*cking b*tch.” It’s nice of her to respect the court by adding those asterisks, at least (we’ve smooshed a couple of the pages together here, to save space):

tamah jada clark document 2

As for the judge’s reasons for dismissing her case, if he thinks he can dismiss her, well then she can certainly dismiss him:

The court “takes judicial notice” of blah, blah, blah… Yep. Whatever.

We’re just waiting for her to announce her candidacy!

Elsewhere, Clark explains that she knows her legal stuff real good, because she studied up for a whole month on what’s really going on in this country:

Look here, old man, when I told you I AM Justice — I meant it. It took me about 1 month to study the history of the world and to learn the history and inner workings American jurisprudence, literally. I was born to do this here. Don’t you know that your FBI and CIA have been trying to recruit me since grade school? Lol. But they’re unscrupulous losers like you, so it won’t be happening.

Instead, I will educate the People, and hopefully one day, if we are lucky, why will rise up against you oppressive, lying traitors and hang you all for the crime you have committed against us all.

You see, Judge Hunt’s stupid ruling doesn’t even apply to Tamah Jada Clark and her family, because she is a citizen of Florida-America, not the fictitious entity over which Judge Hunt supposedly has jurisdiction. After all:

[Federal law] applies specifically to federal citizens ONLY; we are not federal citizens. Answer me this, genius: if the original states were in existence before the federal government — with their own constitutional provisions for protecting their citizens’ unalienable human rights — then why would state citizens need to claim protection for those rights under the federal constitution? They don’t. That makes no sense. At all.

Oh, wow, she nailed that one. Federal court precedents also don’t apply to Clark, because, duh, the case he cited was tried in Washington DC, and therefore applies only to people who live in Washington DC, while she is a citizen of Florida. “Our domicile is right here in Florida. You’re an idiot.” Just look around at the peninsula being swallowed by rising tides — does it LOOK like the District of Columbia, stupid? As a mere federal judge, Hunt can’t dismiss her case, because she is a free Floridian, who was “born in Pensacola, Florida and have a legal right to be in the USA, though I am not a citizen or national of the United States.”

You might at this point wonder why Clark even bothered to file anything in a federal court in the first place, since she is not subject to its rulings, but shut up, you are old and ugly, bitch.

This is easily one of the most important legal documents we have ever read, and we’re quite impressed, especially because Clark attaches a 25-page supplement explaining why no one is required to pay taxes. It is from her website, which we could easily read all day, but we won’t, because we fear we may have already numbed several parts of our cerebral cortex already.

We’re not entirely sure Clark will prevail in her quest to overturn her conviction for planning to break her boyfriend out of jail, however, since there isn’t a single word in her document about the gold fringe on Judge Hunt’s flag, which means he only has the authority to try cases involving ships at sea.

If she missed something as obvious as that, she clearly needed to study for at least another month.

[RawStory / Scribd / TamahJadaClark.com]

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  • bikerlaureate

    A sovereign for your thoughts.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Soverign-Citizen: Too stupid to ride the short bus, but not crazy enough for crazy town.

  • ArgieBargie

    What the fuck was all that about?!

  • Spotts1701

    Is that how it works now? “I object to your ruling.” “Noted and overruled.” “Well, you’re an old geezer and a f***ing b****!” “Oh! Well, in that case I rescind my ruling.”

    • T.Clark

      Yea. lol.

    • T.Clark

      Yea. lol.

  • JoeChristmas

    Lucky she didn’t mention anything about climate change because that really would have put her in contempt of court™.

    • Meccalopolis

      caused by gov chem trails

  • jmk

    It’s good she got through the whole history of the world and the US already – things move fast in the manic stage, but the going would have been a lot slower during the depressive stage of her bipolar disorder.

    • T.Clark

      What about the “I’m Richer Than A B*tch and Freer Than A Bird” stage? It’s been going on for quite some time now–and I must admit that I’m enjoying it–but was just wondering if you had any commentary on that?

      • jmk

        Well, cupcake, if you’re enjoying making outlandish and demonstrably silly claims and you’re not harming anyone, then that’s fine. It’s a free country.

        • T.Clark

          You’re a piece of work

          • jmk

            Oh, I am??

    • T.Clark

      What about the “I’m Richer Than A B*tch and Freer Than A Bird” stage? It’s been going on for quite some time now–and I must admit that I’m enjoying it–but was just wondering if you had any commentary on that?

  • anniegetyerfun

    Oh, bless her heart.

    • Logic of Color

      Ouch! That’s cold, dude

  • JustPixelz

    Evolution isn’t working.

  • Callyson

    • Vecciojohn

      Jeez, looking at this picture I realize I’m turning into my grandmother.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Don’t do it . . . your bladder will go, plus the restroom lines are longer.

    • AngryBlakGuy

      • Callyson

        This is a nice addition to my collection–thanks!

    • T.Clark

      The truth, Grandma. I was telling the truth.

    • T.Clark

      The truth, Grandma. I was telling the truth.

  • SnarkOff

    Oh, dear.

  • CalvinianChoice

    A crazy person who uses correct grammar and spelling. This can’t be real.

    • FauxAntocles

      That’s what I was thinking – if she applied herself to something useful, she’d probably be exceptionally good at it.

      • Meccalopolis

        f**k that wac ass sh*t

      • Logic of Color

        Yeah, but then she would be no fun.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Because apparently she was not very good at jail breaking her hubby.

        • T.Clark

          Yes, I am. I never went to court for what you think was a “jailbreak”. Those charges were thrown out, baby.

        • T.Clark

          Yes, I am. I never went to court for what you think was a “jailbreak”. Those charges were thrown out, baby.

      • T.Clark

        I have: law. And I’m PHENOMENALLY good at it.

      • T.Clark

        I have: law. And I’m PHENOMENALLY good at it.

    • T.Clark

      Because I’m not crazy. I’m a genius. The irony is that most of you all are crazily dumbed-down so much so that you cannot comprehend the concepts presented in that case. You think it’s a “joke”, but I was dropping some serious truth. Oh well, your lost, not mine.

  • laineypc

    Sovereign Citizen= What ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) looks like in adults. (Was going to say When ODD grows up, but in this case, it doesn’t.)

    • Vecciojohn

      Yes it does, doody head.

    • T.Clark

      Aha! You’re so clever for a [bad word redacted].

  • OneYieldRegular

    I might pay good money to see a remake of The Thing with Two Heads starring Tamah Jada Clark and Orly Taitz.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      So, Tamah in the Deacon Jones role, and Orly in the Ray Milland role?

    • OrdinaryJoe

      The clash of legal titans.

    • T.Clark

      I’m not interested in hollywood.

      • Spurning Beer

        Hollywood is going to be interested in you, though. VERY interested.

  • SFRealness

    Well, to be fair, it’s about as coherent as the Alabama Supreme Court decision declaring their authority to uphold Alabama’s same-sex marriage ban in defiance of federal courts…so…maybe if Roy Moore is removed from office again, she can move and become Alabama’s Chief Justice?

    • Jared James

      I heartily endorse this plan. It may be Alabama’s only real chance to overtake Florida as the home of the weird.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Are there some fabulous prizes at stake in this competition for “Home of the Weird”? I know it’s not much of an entry, but Oregon nominates Art Robinson and his “let’s use radioactive waste as foundation material” idea.

        • Jared James

          A respectable entry, but they’ll need to build up quite a bit more momentum to overtake the Conchs.

    • T.Clark

      Yea. Well, if I did–I would turn up and shut sh*t down. Alabama would be on point.

  • Vecciojohn

    Goddamn it I KNEW Andy Kaufman was still alive!

  • Jon Fox

    “Justice Scalia, I would like to refer you to the appellate’s assertion that the trial judge was a bitch ass hoe….”

    • Vecciojohn

      Cert. denied, sucker!

    • beatbort

      I do hope she appeals this and gets to argue her case in front of the U.S. Supreme Court. I can’t wait to hear what she has to say about Justice Thomas.

  • Callyson

    And, fuck, if I had known that legal briefs could be littered with profanity I would have gone to law school after all…

    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lq5g36IMra1qijqv8o1_250.gif

  • dslindc

    Rubio/Sovereign Lady 2016!!!

  • Pookums

    So, was this a writ of habeus fuckthisshit?

    • Vecciojohn

      Habeus your mama’s pore ass!

  • Vecciojohn

    Your Honor, I’d like to move for a bad court thingy.

    • Spurning Beer

      You must be a law-talking guy.

  • Menmy3

    I work in a legal office and we get filings like these on a regular basis…only they aren’t quite as nasty as this one was.

    • T.Clark

      Lol. I take that as a compliment.

  • HogeyeGrex

    She seems nice.

    • T.Clark

      I can be sweeter than pie, or not. Depends on how you approach me.

  • LarryHoudini

    If she truly knew the inner workings of American Jurisprudence, she would have written “Judge Willis B. Hunt, Jr. (hereinafter referred to as a*shole).”
    But good news! I think she may soon have more free time to study law.

    • T.Clark

      I’ll remember that for next time. Thanks.

      • LarryHoudini

        Oh, hi Tamah.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    in a failed attempt to break her boyfriend out of prison.

    Typical big government sympathizing LIEbural. Jason is her husband, Dok!

  • Joshua Norton

    She definitely has a potential career writing wingnut amicus briefs for the SCOTUS!

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Actually she would be good at ghosting the TeaJudge opinions written by Justus Thomas.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Maybe she was his law clerk for almost a month.

        • OrdinaryJoe

          Or she stopped by for a can of Coke. Arghhh.

  • Joshua Norton

    It took me about 1 month to study the history of the world and to learn
    the history and inner workings American jurisprudence, literally.

    Translation: She spent a month binge watching “Judge Judy” reruns.

    • Logic of Color

      and Mel Brooks’ “History of the World”, we assume.

      • Vienna Woods

        Certainly not John Green’s Crash Course World History, though.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      So 27 days in February or 30 days in March?

      • T.Clark

        It was between the months of May and June. Seriously. Though I know you’re just a dumb f*ckoff.

  • JMPesq

    That language she used is really offensive – I mean, “Lol” is stupid and inappropriate even for anonymous comments on the internet, but in a court filing? That shit’s just not right.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      lol

      • Anarchy Pony

        Rotflolmaobbqwtf?

        • elviouslyqueer

          Bqhatevwr.

    • Biff52

      Also, come ON–it’s Florida. It’s pronounced (and spelled) lawl.

    • T.Clark

      That was the point, b*tch.

    • T.Clark

      That was the point, b*tch.

  • jesuswasablack

    In other florida news hero gyro-copter mailman needs some cash to keep his old white ass out of jail, if you’all want to help click here:

    http://www.gofundme.com/sn8gc2s

  • zerosumgame0005

    Wait sec, this could be fun! According to her “logic” anyone denied voting rights cannot get a passport so they could no longer be considered “federal citizens” or even state ones since they are denied an ID to vote. Therefore they have no obligation to follow state OR federal laws. What kind of fun could all those people have with that?

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Unless the judge’s first name was ‘Mike,’ this could not be more perfect.

  • Joshua Norton

    then why would state citizens need to claim protection for those rights
    under the federal constitution? They don’t. That makes no sense. At all.

    Translation: Your Honor, I object! Because shutup, that’s why!

  • Biff52

    At first I thought this would be about the crowning of Loretta Lynch, but I’m not at all disappoint.

  • JMPesq

    I hate to break it to you, crazy lady, but most of the members of that sovereign citizen movement you subscribe to don’t consider you to be one of the citizens; the concept originated with the white supremacist Posse Comitatus movement.

    • Meccalopolis

      well, as a sovereign slave… she is entitled to less than nothing. oh well

      • T.Clark

        And as a miscreant sycophant, you are entitled to my foot up your a*s. Thanks for listening. :)

        • Spurning Beer

          Ooh, ooh! Now do me!

        • Meccalopolis

          I am honored by your personal reply.

          Although I don’t go out of my way to get noticed, i.e., filing hilariously absurd and amusing legal briefs, how does this make me a sycophant?

          I’ll cop to being a miscreant, though

    • Villago Delenda Est

      She’s a mud person…property, basically, as far as the “sovereign citizens” are concerned.

  • $50 million to the first attorney to use “Lol” in an oral argument in court. $50 million in sovereign citizen moneyz, that is, which are unfortunately only good in the Republic of Clubseal, and then only for hand-drawn pictures of my cat.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I see your $50 million in sovereign citizen moneyz, and raise you 100 million quatloos!

    • Biff52

      Still, that’s a lot of pictures!

      • Depends on the price tag, potential customer.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Sovereign citizen money is still going to be worth more than bitcoins in the long run. At least SCM is backed by the full credit of You Don’t Know Who You Messing With, Old B*tch.

    • T.Clark

      The lawsuit was for $20 billion.

    • T.Clark

      The lawsuit was for $20 billion.

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    I’m out of order? This whole court is out of order!

    • TheBidenator

      Bitch!

      • T.Clark

        B*tcha*s hoe to be exact.

    • T.Clark

      That’s right.

  • Spurning Beer

    Her thought processes are on a par with your Palins and your Bachmanns, but her grammar and spelling are surprisingly good. Except for the f*king asteri*ks.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …just when I think my home state couldn’t turn the “batshit crazy” up any higher, somehow they find that next level!!! At this point we are clearly in a competition with ourselves!

    • Spurning Beer

      Pensacola represents!

      • Jaime Oria

        Pensacola – it’s the Surreal Thing.

      • splashy79

        No, it’s Pepsi-cola.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Nigel Tufnel is SOOO jealous.

    • Biff52

      It’s a “-duh” state thing–Floriduh, Nevaduh…

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Alabamduh, South Carolinduh, Texass, Kansass.

        Well, “-duh” and “-ass”, anyways…

        • calliecallie

          Oklahomduh, West Virginduh, Indianduh. I like this game
          I don’t know what to with Michigan and Ohio.
          Really nobody does. Ba-dump-cha!

          • chicken thief

            In Indiana it is pronounced ‘in-duh-ana’.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Arizoned-out?

      • Anarchy Pony

        I-duh-ho.

        • T.Clark

          You certainly are.

    • T.Clark

      I wasn’t raised in Florida. I was raised in Arlington, VA. I am more of a Virginian than a Floridian. Sorry, but you guys’ standard of education is low.

  • Jaime Oria

    “Tamah Jada Clark”? No idiosyncratic punctuation or capitalizations to her name – f’rinstance “TamaH/Jada/ClarK” or “Tamah.Jada.CLARK” – at all? Sovereign Citizenship FAIL

    PS I am not a crackpot.

  • hornheat

    If she weren’t blah the Cliven Bundy crowd would love her!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Today, Sean Hannity’s special guest is this crazy lady, except no because blackedness, lol.

  • PsycWench

    I don’t think her month of speed-reading legal crap educated her on what a judge can do to you. But she could be fixin’ to find out.

    • Blank Ron

      The month she spent also reading all of world history should have covered that.

    • T.Clark

      Not a damn thing to me. Just watch, baby.

    • T.Clark

      Not a damn thing to me. Just watch, baby.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Ah, Florida…..

  • Motherlicking? Motherchecking? Motherbushwhacking? …

  • elviouslyqueer

    Oh gurl, you totally had me at B*TCH A*S.

    • T.Clark

      Yea. I did dat. Huh?

  • Capt.Jim

    Jeebus Crist Loretta Lynch has got to go to work on the first day of confirmation,she is not going to be happy with this bitch

  • Wm Kiernan

    I’m not buying this at all. What kind of Sovereign Citizen would ever write “You’re an idiot” instead of the idiomatically correct “Your an idiot”?

    • FauxAntocles

      I thought it was “Your A Idiot”…

      • Blank Ron

        Oh, sure, if you want to be pedantic about it…

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Must have had auto-correct turned on – although I’m surprised she’d submit to the illegitimate authority of a non-Floridian-American word processor.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Must have had auto-correct turned on – although I’m surprised she’d submit to the illegitimate authority of a non-Floridian-American word processor.

    • T.Clark

      Well, friend, I’m a genius.

  • calliecallie

    THIS is how the Revolution begins…

    • T.Clark

      EXACTLY. Now you are beginning to better understand my actions. And, YOU’RE WELCOME, by the way.

  • JD Mulvey

    This is the most impressive piece of legal writing since Bush v Gore.

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      a million upfists to you!

      • Jared James

        I regret only that I have but one fist to up for my country.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    When will these nutters create their own “Supreme Court of the Free Republic of Florida” or whatever, and file their bugfuck crazy papers with judges who are also into this “sovereign citizen” woo?

    As an aside, if you were married to this loon, you might or might not want to get broken out of jail… I wonder if she asked.

    • noen

      Many of them already have. They’ve held mock trials and everything, then they break for the salad bar.

    • noen

      Many of them already have. They’ve held mock trials and everything, then they break for the salad bar.

  • You left out the best parts:

    She concludes her filing by pointing out to the judge that he is old and presumably near death, which she says is “good” because he is a “treacherous, lying, spineless, bastard son-of-a-bitch” who deserves to spend eternity in hell.

    “I couldn’t give two fucks about you or what you have to say,” Clark tells the judge. “Fuck you, old man. You’re a joke. Your court’s a joke. You take it up the ass; and you suck nuts. Lol.”

    • Jared James

      I object to the use of the Elizabethan semicolon in the context of juxtaposing stuffing his cheeks with chestnuts and having buttsex, although she did correctly apply the term “lol.”

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        The judge will definitely chew her out for putting “and” after a semicolon.

        • Spurning Beer

          F*cking activist judges.

  • noen

    I love the link to a David Icke YouTube video on her web page. Checkmate you sheeple!!

  • FlownOver

    At last we’ve found a worthy successor for Hon. Kris Kobach, Kansas Secretary of State and former Professor of Law.

  • FlownOver

    At last we’ve found a worthy successor for Hon. Kris Kobach, Kansas Secretary of State and former Professor of Law.

  • Toomush_Infer

    It’s good ta be da King….

    • T.Clark

      Yes, it certainly is. Well, actually, I’m the queen. Don’t believe me? Re-read that Notice, baby.

    • T.Clark

      Yes, it certainly is. Well, actually, I’m the queen. Don’t believe me? Re-read that Notice, baby.

  • JohnE_o

    I’m pretty sure the Sovereign Citizen crowd would consider her a 14th Amendment Citizen, not a natural-born citizen…

  • Guest

    Tell me this is snark. It must be. No one is that deluded. At least no one on the outside.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Forget it, Jack. It’s Florida.

  • shaar dula

    ok i have to say this. this is one of the few legal documents that i could actually comprehend. whether i agree with its content or not is a different matter. but atleast i could comprehend what was being said.

    legal jargon and medical jargon really gives me the headaches. wtf can’t they talk in simple sentences that ordinary people can understand?

    how would you like if the instructions to your toaster were written with units, measures and operational sequence from electrical engineering and used words/phrases such as “whereas”, “whereto”, “to whom so ever concerned”, “aforementioned”, “thereof”, “including but not exceeding”, and contained 14 pages of glossary?

    I’m all for simplification legalese and medicalese. Straight simple sentences in active voice, with common words and none of the verbosity. is this too much to ask? all eye-vee league hoity-toity cant stoop down and use lingo us plebs can comprende?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “wtf can’t they talk in simple sentences that ordinary people can understand?
      You wouldn’t pay us nearly as much if you knew how simple the job actually was.

      • Sheepshagger

        Don’t tell them dood. You may have good standing, but we all remember the first rule of law club.

        • ThePuckStopsHere

          Is it: Don’t get caught spanking it under your robe while court is actually in session and you are the presiding judge?

          • Sheepshagger

            I’ll allow it.

    • T.Clark

      Because the point is to confuse you. They don’t want you to understand what is taking place. Wake up people. I was telling/showing you the truth. Check me out on facebook. I am the truth. Straight up. (This is Mrs. Tamah Jada Clark).

  • Enfant Terrible

    Damn, that is some *epic* ranting. This lady snarks herself.

    • Blank Ron

      Pretty typical for your Sovereign Citizen types. They rely heavily on the MEGO effect.

    • Me not sure

      Judge : “Are you trying to show contempt for this court?”
      Defendant : “No, your honor, I’m trying my best to hide it.”
      Apologies to Mae West

    • Spotts1701

      “Silence, or you will be held in contempt of this court.”
      “I have nothing but contempt for this court.”

  • Serolf Divad

    Her legal reasoning is basically sound, suffering only from a lamentable paucity of latin. According to google translate, “bitch ass” in Latin is “canis asinus.” She should pepper her documents with a few of those.
    https://translate.google.com/#en/la/bitch%20ass

    • Me not sure

      Fecus equis!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Te ipsum , iudex

        • Me not sure

          Ah, the benefits of a classical education.

  • Blank Ron

    So she’s Justice? Then I’d like to know where she’s been lately, because she sure hasn’t been doing her hob.

    • Paul Zimmerle

      I think that’s just her superhero name. She’s C-ranked – you know, those county-level superheroes you don’t hear much about until some supervillain rolls over their turf.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I, too, am a delusional narcissist but too modest and unambitious to qualify as Sovereign Citizen. I hereby declare myself a Thruppeny Bit Citizen, which makes me exempt from maritime law every other Thursday.

    • nice_marmot

      Watch out, mateys! There’s about to be some mad booty plundering on alternate Thursdays from here on out!

    • Captain Kraut

      Maritime law, you say? Better have that double checked by Sauncho Smilax, Esq.

    • T.Clark

      I am a narcissist. A beautiful narcissist. Check me out on facebook, hoe.

  • chicken thief

    All the mad legal skillz of Oily Taint but with Tourettes and a tan.

    • A Bashful Nobody

      Perhaps this actually is Oily in a different body? Shut up, it could happen!

      • chicken thief

        Realtor, dentist, lawyer, body snatcher….

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          Wetter, hotter, tighter…

  • guppy06

    Did we just use “Lol” as a word (not even as an acronym, but a word) in a legal document?

    /drink

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Yes, that “lol” (henceforth the “lol” of the first part) in the herein aforementioned “lol.”

    • T.Clark

      Yep. I sure did. And what? I do what I want.

  • guppy06

    A black, female teabagger? I think we can call off the GOP primaries now…

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Bill Kristol will no doubt suggest her for the Veep slot on the ticket with President-elect Cruz.

    • ThePuckStopsHere

      Have Ben Carson and this person ever been seen together???

  • Biel_ze_Bubba
  • The Big Truth

    A sovereign citizen who represents herself has a g*dd*mn m*th*r f*cking b*tch-*ss little sh*t dumb f*ck for a client.
    Also, I’d sarcastically thank Obama, but he has no standing here!

  • Thaumaturgist

    Silly goose. Getting recruited by the FBI and CIA doesn’t give you sovereign immunity; getting HIRED by the FBI or CIA gives you sovereign immunity its.

    • T.Clark

      F*ck them both. I’m not interested in either. How about that? I’m Mrs. Tamah Jada Clark (really), and I approved this message. B*TCH!

  • Relativicus

    Huh, she is not at all what I pictured a sovereign citizen to look like. I always thought they were taller.

    But I do enjoy the fact she filed a Yahoo! comment as a court motion.

    • Bitter Scribe

      I always thought they were whiter. Does she seriously not know that most “Sovereign Citizens” are racist loons?

      But I do give her credit for spelling all those long words correctly.

    • say wha

      3/5 of a Sovereign Citizen maybe.

      • T.Clark

        Ha, ha–very funny reference to “blacks” being considered as 3/5 of a person. “Very cute.” But you’re the slave here, sweetie. I just cursed at the judge and am here now to be able to curse your b*tcha*s out too. The jokes on you f*ck boy.

      • T.Clark

        Ha, ha–very funny reference to “blacks” being considered as 3/5 of a person. “Very cute.” But you’re the slave here, sweetie. I just cursed at the judge and am here now to be able to curse your b*tcha*s out too. The jokes on you f*ck boy.

  • JD Mulvey

    Being a Floridian, wouldn’t she have been a subject of the King of Spain, whose title then passed to the United States government following the Adams-Onis Treaty of 1819?

    I’m curious about when exactly she dates the beginning of the “sovereignty” of a black woman in a former Spanish colony.

    • cleter

      But if she doesn’t recognize the US federal government, she might not accept the 1783 Treaty of Paris which ended the revolution and legitimated the US and transferred control of Florida from England to Spain. So, maybe she’s English? Maybe she’s REALLY old school and doesn’t recognize Spain’s 1565 claim, and thinks of herself as French.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    The only flag she recognizes is a modified Gadsden with the motto “You’re Not the Boss of Me.”

    • nice_marmot

      “Your Old Punk As* Is Not the Motherf*cking Boss of Me, B*tch.”

      • Mehmeisterjr

        A distinct improvement!

  • Shibusa

    She’d be great on Fox & Friends.

    • nice_marmot

      I don’t know, her legal analysis seems a little too highbrow for them.

      • Amy!

        And there are no legs in evidence, as yet.

  • kfreed

    Precious. Perhaps ‘sovereign citizen’ Tamah Jada Clark could take an extra week and study up on that ‘states’ rights’ section in American History for Dummies (specifically the part on ‘civil rights’)… maybe a field trip to Bundy Ranch and an introduction to fellow states’ rights aficionado Cliven Bundy would contribute something to her understanding of the sovereign citizen movement:

    “Behind the recent surge of nullification bills in state legislatures there is an ongoing battle for the soul of the GOP—and the future of the union itself. The nullification movement’s ideology is rooted in reverence for states’ rights and a theocratic and neo-Confederate interpretation of U.S. history.” http://www.politicalresearch.org/2013/11/22/nullification-neo-confederates-and-the-revenge-of-the-old-right/#sthash.0vb5LLd0.dpbs

    While she’s at it, she should probably submit her court document to the ‘Stupid Criminals’ archives… for there is no reason on earth that this stunt shouldn’t be shared with the whole wide world:) http://www.viralnova.com/stupid-criminals/

  • nice_marmot

    I’ve got fifty self-printed sovereign currency units* that says within 24 hours she’ll have at least three competing job offers from Tea Partiers.

    *not yet widely accepted as legal tender

  • bargal20

    Her website is a legalese Time Cube.

    • Jared James

      It’s quite a work of High Art. Reads a bit like Stephenie Meyer’s early work, in that it is sprinkled with randomly-placed SAT words, some of them even used correctly.

  • Notreelyhelping

    I have this feeling she bills by the minute.

  • LoveSW_Prequels

    Possibly the first use of “lol” in a submitted court doc?

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Further evidence of her keen legal mind and gravitas…

      • T.Clark

        You’re spending you’re time talking about me. Further evidence of my reverence and legendary status. Don’t be mad…

      • T.Clark

        You’re spending you’re time talking about me. Further evidence of my reverence and legendary status. Don’t be mad…

    • T.Clark

      No. I had actually used it earlier on in that same case. (Not being sarcastic). Really. I was laughing at them all along and throwing jabs. I know my sh*t. I’m here, ain’t I? You better get a clue…

  • alnnc

    She had me until she brought up the claim about the original states preceding the federal government. She might want to check out a US history book. Florida was not one of the original states and therefore did not precede the feds. But she got me back with the claim about not having to pay taxes.

    • JD Mulvey

      The venerable legal principle of ‘wishful thinking’…

    • T.Clark

      B*tch, I could write a U.S. History book. I NEVER claimed Florida was one of the original states. You’re dumb. Re-read the paperwork idiot.

      • david green

        Boy, alnnc, she really burned you.

    • cleter

      Florida was Colony 14 but it didn’t want any of that crazy rebellion bullshit the other 13 colonies were doing, so they stayed loyal to England and sat the revolutionary unpleasantness out.

  • CripesAmighty

    Ok, Wonketeers, which one of you is really Ms. Clark? Come on, fess up. That’s some world-class performance art/trolling, right there.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    So, did the boyfriend ever get out of jail? Inquiring minds need to know.

    • JD Mulvey

      “Honey, I know you mean well –but please don’t help me with my case anymore.”

  • JVisconti

    with Rubio giving up his Senate seat in 2016, the ever thoughtful voters of FL need to know more about this lady.

  • janecita

    Get your sh*t right b*tches, the man wasn’t her boyfriend, he’s her husband!!#&#@&&

    • JD Mulvey

      … and don’t you EVER disrespect her family with your $@%$!! UNWORTHY MOUTH again, effin’ IMPOTENT judge &#!?% geezer!!

      @&%#%!!!!

      • Jared James

        I believe you neglected to append the term “lol” to your pleading, which elides a telling legal criticism on her part in a particularly injurious way.

  • ThePuckStopsHere

    Still a better lawyer than Ted Cruz.

  • handyhippie65

    i refer you to the case of rubber VS. glue. wherein we, being represented by rubber, assert it stuck to you. the defense rests.

  • Outzie

    Finally, a Florida Woman worthy of FLORIDA MAN! This paragon of stupidity bases her argument on the original 13 colonies preceding the Federal government. She seems to be unaware, though, that the Federal Government (Constitution, 1789) preceded the “State of Florida” which became a state, at its own petition, in 1845.

    • Jared James

      Florida Woman lets no piddling dates stand in her way! This is about states’ rights! and individual rights! and federal tyranny! She does not back down, just because the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor!

      Principle first! nonsense immediately after!

    • Cindyinencinitas

      Plus, excuse me, but she read the whole history of the world and the US America so she knows lots of stuff and you don’t so there.

      • T.Clark

        I did read study the history of the world in a month. You mad bro? I’m smarter than you realize, friend. You better take another look at this. (Yes, it’s really me). Check me out on facebook, loser.

        • dshwa

          Shypixel, we have a distinguished guest! Break out the red carpets and snazzy drapeties and buntings and such.

          • T.Clark

            I prefer to be called a legend.

          • Cindyinencinitas

            Well I don’t think we should be Facebook friends. I’d hate for your name to hit some watch list for consorting with the lunatic fringe.

          • dshwa

            I’m sure you do.

        • Cindyinencinitas

          While I don’t pretend to possess an encyclopedic knowledge of everything plus Florida, I have learned one useful thing from a career in the law and that is impulse control because judges, like nuns, don’t always have a well-developed sense of humor. good luck to you, though.

        • Cindyinencinitas

          While I don’t pretend to possess an encyclopedic knowledge of everything plus Florida, I have learned one useful thing from a career in the law and that is impulse control because judges, like nuns, don’t always have a well-developed sense of humor. good luck to you, though.

          • T.Clark

            I don’t need luck. I have encyclopedic knowledge and other-worldly wisdom. I’m a boss. A legend. Deal with it.

    • T.Clark

      No I don’t. Just shut up. Multiple dummies have said the same thing–but they, like you, have no idea. Lol.

      • cleter

        If you don’t recognize the US federal government, then I guess you don’t recognize the US federal government acquisition of Florida from Spain in the 1820s, which I guess makes you Spanish.

        • T.Clark

          I never said I don’t recognize the U.S. government. How foolish. I said I’m not a citizen of the U.S. government. But you, being the “genius” that you are, DO consider yourself a citizen of the U.S. government. Go re-read the Founding Charters and hopefully you may, one day, get a clue.

    • T.Clark

      Outzie, you’re such an intelligent idiot that there’s no point in even trying to save/awaken someone like you to the Truth. I’m a bringer of the Truth–a Messenger. And as history tells us, people ALWAYS try to attack the messenger; especially the most ignorant people. Like really…The 13 Original Colonies, which later become sovereign and independent states (see Declaration of Independence–1776) WERE in existence before the Federal Government that was erected in 1787 via the U.S. Constitution. Do the math…And it doesn’t matter that the State of Florida, in particular, did not precede the erection of the Fed. Gov., as Article IV, Section 3, Clause 1 of the Fed. Constitution provided for the admission of new states in the Union on EQUAL FOOTING with the original states of the Union. Re-read the Founding Charters, Outzie, because as it now stands, you haven’t a clue about the proper functioning of the Country in which you live. My level of understanding far surpasses that which you could even imagine. Hence, I am still here, still talking stuff.

  • DahBoner

    Who put the quiver in dah Judge’s liver?
    http://media.giphy.com/media/AsRLtAbfJa6eA/giphy.gif

  • DsMTwoShoes

    IIf I didn’t know any better, and I don’t. I would say this woman bears a remarkable resemblance, in writing style to the the Evangelical Consortium. Known euphemistically by the nom de plumes, ozzie56, Susie Simpleton, Mauser98 just to name a few.
    It is nice to finally be able to have a face to go with the pseudonyms.

  • Fly

    Tamahs’ regular job is as a lawyer for the family research council.

    • Betty J Rousey

      Hehe… good one. :-)

    • T.Clark

      Tamah doesn’t have a job. She kicks it and chills while you take your broke a*s to work. I own businesses; I don’t work at them, baby.

  • Cindyinencinitas

    Where was she on 4/20? We coulda had so much fun! Smashing windows and setting cop cars on fire. Story of my life: missed opportunities. Good luck, honey.

  • dshwa

    Honestly she sounds like she needs a psych eval and help.

  • david green

    Well, after reading her comments, and tho I suspect she is very uncomfortable to be around, I find I do sort of like T.Clark. Especially in comparison to most Teabaggers I know.

  • BlueMonkey

    Is she Mia Love’s anger translator?

  • nelore

    The Floridians strike again.

  • Incoming Ham

    She seems nice…

  • T.Clark

    I’m only a Messenger, trying to help awaken the People to the Truth of the rampant fraud and corruption that has befallen the Country. The Founding Fathers never intended for the Nation to be in its current state of utter stupor. There was, believe it or not, once a time when the average American had considerable knowledge of both law and civics–as both of these subject areas were (and still are) integral to being a responsible citizen/American. Sadly, though, 99.9% of the population has put down the Founding Charters and picked up iPhones and other devices that serve as useless distractions. As a result, the Country as a whole is paying for the very low civic i.q. of the People. I mean, why do you think it is that the Federal Government continues to slowly but surely encroach upon American rights and freedoms, such as privacy? As neglect of civic duty and understanding increases, so does governmental infringement upon unalienable rights that are to be secured by the Bill of Rights in state constitutions and secure from encroachment by the Fed. Gov per the Bill of Rights in the Fed. Con (Articles of Amendment I-X). I find it funny that so many people on these internet blogs and other “news outlets” take the time to try to criticise me for my words in (only one of TWO) federal lawsuits, in which I was the PLAINTIFF (not the Defendant), yet just about NO ONE is doing what it is that they’re supposed to be doing. Did the Founding Fathers not instruct ALL Americans to keep a watchful eye upon state and Federal governments in order to safeguard the rights of the People? Is it not ALL of our responsibility to be independently studying up on the ways of our Forefathers? Do you know how much LESS-educated and LESS-intelligent the average American is these days in comparison with their earlier American counterparts? Shamefully less! That’s how much. There can be NO DOUBT in anyone’s mind that “something” is not quite right about the present functioning of “The System”. CLEARLY, what takes place these days is by NO MEANS representative of the concepts of Liberty, Justice, or the other unalienable rights mentioned in the Country’s Founding Charters. But, rather than even consider the possibility that “hey, maybe this woman is who we’ve all been waiting for to come along and help save us from our own self-induced systemic servitude”, you all attempt to attack me? So TYPICAL of small-minded, IGNORANT subjects of mental and economic slavery…Laziness, greed, and cowardice have shamefully become “the American way”. This is no longer the land of the free or the home of the brave. What’s brave about bowing down to an overly-oppressive Fed. Gov. taxing you up the “you know what”, because you’re too afraid to speak up or ask questions? Nothing. That’s called COWARDICE. And how many people, out of the 300+ MILLION Americans in this Country, have actually taken the time to read through, study, and truly understand the laws that govern their everyday life? Less than a fraction of a percent! That’s called LAZINESS. And what’s free about waking up every day, scrounging around like animals to try to make ends meet, then rushing to eat your probably sh*tty and unhealthy food within the allotted 30 min-1 hour time period GIVEN you, before rushing back to work with your head down and tail between your legs like a pathetic dog taking orders from someone you secretly hate, but don’t have the guts to stand up to for fear of losing your means of paying your bills? Face it: Americans live to work, they don’t work to live. That’s called SLAVERY. You’re debt slaves. You know it. I know it. Everyone knows it. You should be embarassed and HUMBLE, as opposed to so quick to open your big, STUPID, ignorant, cowardly, slave mouths. Like really…You’re SO dumb that the Fed. Gov. tells you you’re free, gives you EXCESSIVE entertainment outlets to keep you distracted, and uses propaganda to convince you that the rest of the world is jealous of you and your pitiful lifestyles, which in turn, encourages you to PRETEND to be happy; and to PRETEND to not realize that your Fed. Gov. has stepped WAY out of bounds LONG time ago. But not even you all are THAT DUMB. Deep down, you know this sh*t sucks…Lol. I just so happen to be smart enough to have figured it all out from a legal standpoint, I’m bold enough to take a stand–even if that means I’m standing by myself, (which apparently I just about am, lol)– and have, ironically, come to try to help you MORONS. But honestly, most of you are ingrates who have foolishly attempted to mock and/or ridicule me and don’t deserve my help–like the many peoples before you who too have attempted to assassinate their Saving Grace . Now ain’t that a b*tch…smh. And guess who you’re going to be trying to call on when they’ve got your a*sess lining up at concentration camps in a state of declared emergency a.k.a MARSHAL LAW?… LOL.

  • Bella Rosa

    Great article poker online.

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