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Boscoe's avatar

Here's a true story: Two nights ago I had a dream that I randomly encountered Billo in a parking lot I was wandering through. It was a younger, even more aggressively assholish Billo. He was harassing someone, so I started snarking at him viciously. He turned his attention to me and tried to snark back, but was pathetically outgunned.

I finally got him irked enough for physical violence, and he says: "okay tough guy, let's settle this man to man". I said something like: "okay, you go find one and I'll wait here". He sneered at me as he took off his suit jacket and wrapped it around his right forearm. I noticed he was clutching a white plastic fork in his left hand as he struck a "menacing ready-pose" that would've made James T. Kirk proud. "Oh, I see what we're doing, we're gonna do it up gladiator-style!" I remarked as I wrapped my coat around my left forearm in kind.

Billo, or course, had to boast that he had more to lose because his jacket was more expensive. I told him he "probably shouldn't have invented a game where it was going to get wrecked then" and then I jumped in and smashed him hard in the face with my wrapped forearm, causing his head to snap back in an extremely satisfying manner.

I dropped my fork, my strategy was to use my right hand to grab his shirt and yank him toward my incoming left forearm smashes. It worked EVERY time, and every time he fell on his ass and then scrambled back to his feet, while mocking ME as if HE were the one who *wasn't* getting his ass kicked.

Interestingly, this wasn't frustrating to me in the least, it actually made it more fun to continue flawlessly dodging his inept attacks and then obnoxiously using the exact same tactic over and over and over and watching him land on his ass again and again, all the while learning nothing...

I'm not big on the idea of dreams having deep meanings, so make of it what you will, but I admit I had a lot of fun relentlessly tormenting and outclassing Billo at every turn...

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It's Just Toomush's avatar

So, you were Billo in your dream? Weird....

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