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He knows Jesus hates gays as much he does.

Because it is a day, here is a story about a bigot who needs you to know that he, as a white male (reportedly) heterosexual, is being oppressed, because gay people exist. Introduce yourselves to Brian Klawiter, owner of the Dieseltec auto repair shop in Grandville, Michigan, who took to the FaceSpace on Tuesday morning to say he’s sick of all these gays, and that if one of them has a diesel truck and comes in looking for a lube job, HE AIN’T GONNA GIVE IT! Let’s take a looksee at the various parts of his Very Well Constructed Word Thoughts, and see if we can learn something:

dies4

In this first part, we learn that conservative white people are (duh) victims, and their freedom of speech is being trampled upon. Brian Klawiter knows this, because of the way his Facebook post is going viral and people on the internet are making fun of him. But we also get a sweet taste of that idiot boy mindset that says that conservative white dudes like Klawiter are the REAL Americans, and those liberals need to “earn” the right to be treated equally. But don’t call him a racist bigot! Remember, he is the victim here.

Give us more knowledge!

dies2

YAY GUNS, BOO FAGS! And also “boo cops,” sort of? But here we learn that Klawiter is very funny, as he made a seventh grade-level joke about nuts and bolts and how he will fix your gay truck wrong, just to teach you a lesson about how penises are not supposed to go in butts. “Oh no,” the gays will say, “that ginger man at the repair shop has made our truck fall apart, gay sex is ruined forever!”

Give us a complete non sequitur about how you’re not racist, and spell it wrong:

dies3

YOU ARE THE REAL RACIST(S), for thinking he is the real racist. Wait, we thought we were talking about fags and how Klawiter is definitely NOT interested in jiffying them with lube. We have been fully schooled, we will now go cry to our mommy and daddy and get smacked.

Klawiter told WOOD-TV (heh heh) that if you are a gay and you keep it to yourself, he will get down under your hood and tweak the spot that needs fixin’, but that “if you want to come in here with your boyfriend and you want to openly display that, that’s just not going to be tolerated here.” So wait, we think we get it. If you are a closet case, or if you simply don’t mention your faggotry, you are fine. But if you come in, like gays ALWAYS DO, and say “hey, mechanic, while you’re working on the truck, we’re gonna buttfuck in the backseat if you don’t mind,” then THERE WILL BE A PROBLEM.

WOOD-TV points out that, sadly, there is no Michigan law protecting LGBT people from this kind of discrimination, and the town of Grandville doesn’t have an ordinance either. So you end up with a situation where, in Midland, Michigan, openly gay newspaper editors are allowed to throatcram the town with their gay agendas and the nearby Planet Fitness revokes the memberships of asshole ladies who can’t stand the thought of being in the same room as a transgender person, but in Grandville, you get to deal with shrunken dicks like Brian Klawiter.

Anyway, guess it’s time to set up his GoFundMe, so he can become a martyrdom whore and get rich off the sweet, luscious bigot cash that is now apparently the prize you get for bitching and moaning about how much you hate queers. America!

[Facebook/WOOD-TV]

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  • Guest

    Making a grab for that sweet GoFundMe payday, are we?

  • Donna Rail

    Paging Dr. Freud.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Does Dr. Freud make house calls deep in closets?

      • Blank Ron

        Only if you have some of those cigars he likes.

  • Oblios_Cap

    He seems nice.

    • Amy!

      Bless his heart!

  • dshwa

    Damn, I had “some of my best friends are black” on my wingnut bingo card today, and he missed it. No prizes for me.

  • Spotts1701

    Sounds like the only bolts that need a torque wrench are the loose ones inside his skull.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Discounts extended to Subaru Outbacks, as well, because girl-on-girl action is hot.

    • JohnnyZhivago2

      Is there a Subaru without an Obama sticker on it though?

      • kindness

        And a diesel engine? Nope.

  • Tallmutha

    “Hello, Memories Pizza? I’d like to get 5,000 pepperoni pies delivered to Dieseltec Auto Repair, please.”

  • diogenez
  • dshwa

    Any bets on the chance the work computer has a link to the big dicks page of a pron site?

  • elviouslyqueer

    Klawiter is among those who doesn’t think the city should have a non-discrimination ordinance that includes sexual orientation. “I’ve chosen to put God first in my life and that he owns everything in me and my business and beyond,” Klawiter said. “Since that becomes a priority, I can’t sacrifice on those morals.”

    I’m sure it’s no coincidence that these “morals” also include assault and battery AND violating probation. Bless his gingery heart.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      These asswipes seem to forget that the Intertubes work both ways.

      If you catch my drift.

    • dshwa

      I’m shocked I tell you, shocked! (I’m not shocked.)

    • Zippy

      such a nice young Xtian man

    • chicken thief

      Prolly smacked his girlfriend/wife. That’s just what (talk) tough guys do, ya know.

      • Zippy

        kicked his dog, also too

  • spends2much

    Aw, it’s cute where he says that if I disagree with his opinion about homosexuality, then he’ll rig my car so I die in an accident. That’s his right as a good Christian.
    The narcissism required for this sack of garbage to believe himself to be a good person is positively mind-blowing.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      But typical for his foul lot.

    • bobbert

      I may be over-optimistic, but I didn’t interpret that as a threat, just as a shitty analogy, to wit: you can’t put a car together without both bolts (penises) and nuts (in this case, vaginas).

      Stupid, but not actually malevolent.

      • JustPixelz

        Wait, nuts are vaginas?!? I have two (nuts). I think that makes me a lesbian to myself.

        • Blank Ron

          That will save some time.

    • malsperanza

      It’s also an awesome way to attract new customers.

  • Zippy

    So what have we learned from the ginger wrench turner? A) He likes it without lube (plus for being so manly) B) Phil Robertson is gay because he also quacks like a duck C) Bigot boy lacks even the self awareness to recognize that he’s the only one crying to his mama

  • Lizzietish81

    Good thing gays are really obvious.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PCtOryurhw

  • JustPixelz

    No shoes, no beard: No service.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    It’s a travesty that it had to go this far:

    What dealership is selling cars to teh gheys in the first place???!1!1!!?//

    • Lizzietish81

      Well Subaru sells to lesbians.

      • chicken thief

        Mazda Miata for the men.

        • nmmagyar

          Only for Twinks. Daddies have Beemers (or better)

          • Blank Ron

            My quite gay best friend owns an Outback. I wonder if he’s gender confused?

      • ArgieBargie

        (Lesbian) Love – It’s What Makes a Subaru.

  • Tendernob

    “Go forth and make laws forbidding the marriage of people whose sexual practices make you uncomfortable.” ~ Things Jesus Never Said, 43:1

  • ArgieBargie

    Mixing diesel, hate and guns. What could possibly go wrong?

    • dshwa

      Isn’t that the mix required to get your truck to “roll coal?”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Great minds, etc.

    • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

      Sounds like the makings for a country music anthem.

    • JohnBull

      Another lost presidential election?

  • Tendernob

    Also, too, this “Brian Klawiter” person has a record for assault & battery, because Jesus!

    https://opencourtrecords.org/case.php?id=11259

    • Me not sure

      I wonder if the victim was gay?

      • dshwa

        My bet’s on girlfriend/ex-wife, because family values and all.

        • Me not sure

          Oh, well then I’m sendin’ munnies!

    • ryp

      This was before he gave himself over to the Man Upstairs and let His hand guide him. Which sounds kind of gay.

  • Lizzietish81

    Wait. What if a gay man shows up with a gun?

    • dshwa

      And he’s black?

    • JustPixelz

      Do mean a gun or a “gun”?

      • chicken thief

        And is Brian already on the toilet, poised by the glory hole or is he out in the shop?

    • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

      They cancel each other out, and he pays full price.

    • Rabbit_Rebozo

      Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just looking forward to my hands on your crankshaft?

  • Skwerl King

    Old photos surfacing of him in a homosexual affair in 3…2…

    • dshwa

      Scroll on down and read about his history of assault and battery courtesy of alert wonketteer EQ.

  • RoyalUglyDude

    Many stores give you a discount if you bring in your gun. They will even open the safe for you.

  • Shibusa

    Give me a brake. This guy is fuel of shit.

    • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

      I’m shocked that in this day and age, this kind of bigotry isn’t in the rear view mirror.

      • Zippy

        too much junk in the trunk

    • Rufus T. Firefly

      He obviously needs a new tranny.

      • chicken thief

        You have a spare? And not one a them tiny ones – full sized, dammit!!!

        • Rufus T. Firefly

          Are you asking for a friend?

          • chicken thief

            One with really Preznitial looking ties you hoping maybe? Go on, admit it….. :-)

    • CalvinianChoice

      Oil tell you what.

  • crowTrobot

    Michigan is a weird state. I live in the South but most of my family lives in upstate Michigan and it always amazes me the amount of right wing bigotry I see on display when I visit. I’ve seen more Confederate flags and open racism in Michigan than I’ve seen right here in South Carolina. I’m like, “your ancestors fought and died to defeat the Confederacy and, yet, here you are living the Southern white supremacist ideal.”

    • Biff52

      One of my neighbors is a lesbian former GM assembly line worker. I admire how goddamned tough she had to be to make it through to retirement age. Now she lives part time out west, and up on Bois Blanc Island the rest of the year.

      • crowTrobot

        One of my Uncles, on the good side, was the union leader at a GM plant for decades. He is a staunch Democrat who fought against racial discrimination within the union, sometimes at his professional peril. He’s also an ardent feminist who has three amazing daughters that have become my favorite cousins and really good people. This part of my family is who I always enjoy visiting with. Some others I have to listen to Rush Limbaugh while I’m in the car with them. Ugh.

  • dslindc

    Oh good. It has been so long since someone bigotsplained that they are a deeply oppressed white, christian, man.

  • schmannity

    Will he do rim jobs on straight cutomers?

    • chicken thief

      Righty tighty, lefty loosy!

      * I’m not sure why I think that line fits there, but fuck it, it’s there now.

      • Me not sure

        I love loosey.

        • Zippy

          Don’t tell that to Eric Garner

          • Me not sure

            Can’t, cigarettes killed him.

          • Zippy

            I knew smoking was bad for you…

          • Me not sure

            Yeah, you can’t breathe eventually.

      • topjob66t

        6 weeks ago I had cataract surgery on my left eye. I’m all prepped and lying on the gurney while a resident and the surgeon are trying to secure the dual optical thingy they use. They messed with it for about 5 minutes and I finally said “Righty tighty, lefty loosy!” They fixed it then. Meanwhile I’m thinking ‘today I go blind’. It turned out okay though. And you put that line there so I can finally tell that story.

      • Blank Ron

        Only if you don’t own a pre-72 Chrysler.

  • say wha

    Sounds like SOMEBODY has been huffin’ the fumes again.

    • shastakoala

      With all those guns around it’s possible there’s a “It’s my right to have a lab” in the back room.

  • Rufus T. Firefly

    “…all bolts and no nuts…”
    I think he’s got that backwards.

  • azeyote

    hey being the hippie that I am, I drove though Oklahoma in 1970, had van problems – went to a garage – they loosened all my lug nuts – got about a mile when my tires flew off and we crashed big time – these folks don’t just hate gays – they just hate.

  • Shibusa

    One wonders if Brian Klawiter has ever been rear ended by a Probe.

  • exinkwretch

    Sounds like his business specializes in those jacked-up 3/4- and 1-ton pickups with the monster tires and such. Name one out gay man that would choose such a ride. I’m waiting.

    • Me not sure

      Probably fondles truknutz every day.

    • chicken thief

      Scott Brown?

    • Biff52

      Gotta be some coal-rollin’ log cabin republicans out there somewhere.

  • LarryHoudini

    CO-EXIST YOURSELFS, LIBTURDS
    ***creates COEXIST bumper sticker using cleverly placed swastika, assault rifle, SS symbol and burning cross; submits to Cafe Press; gets rejected; smashes every empty bottle of malt liquor in the house***

  • chascates

    “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce
    you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to
    you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not
    notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your
    brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log
    in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye,
    and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s
    eye.”
    –Matthew 7:1-5 ESV

    • dshwa

      Why you gotta bring Jesus into it? This here’s about religion!

      • Blank Ron

        Hot dog, we have a wiener!

    • ThePuckStopsHere

      I know, right?

  • And yet in that picture he looks like he’s furiously masturbating to the very thought of servicing the gays.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    “YOU ARE THE REAL RACIST(S), for thinking he is the real racist.”

    But logically wouldn’t he be the real racist for thinking that we are the real racists for thinking he is the real racist and so forth forever?

  • Spurning Beer

    And if those gays think they are going to come in here and get an oil change and filter for their diesel wedding limousine, they can forget it!

    • Hardly Ideal

      I guess I can forget about him fixing up the Gayroller, too.

  • JohnBull

    Will he service his new customers by giving them head jobs?

    • chicken thief

      He draws the line at boring and stroking. Except for those ‘special’ customers….

      • badphairy

        Ring job. Nuff said.

  • Lizzietish81
    • dshwa

      Holy overcompensation, Batman!

    • Me not sure

      Fucked up, but never fucked in.

    • MrBlobfish

      So, the driver is a pussy? Does he take dear old mother to the beauty shop in that?

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    Sounds like most of the jobs at this shop ARE IN FACT put together BY nuts.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    “Too many of us say nothing”.

    Really? From here it looks like NONE of you say nothing.

    • dshwa

      No shit, this is the first time I’ve ever heard someone rant on about this stuff before.

  • chicken thief

    Thank god! Brian got the word out just in time as there were caravans, nearly shutting down I-90 and I-196, of obviously gays flooding into Grandville to have Brian check their nuts and “get their motors purring”.

  • cousin itt

    He’s just a Satanic mechanic.

    • Lizzietish81

      S&M!

    • Beezelbubbles

      Dammit, Janet!

  • nmmagyar

    Hi there Mr. Moderately Attractive Ginger,

    If you think that “You work without contracts” you apparently are as stupid as you look. Every auto shop I have ever dealt with (and I used to own an MG – so I have probably spent more time in shops than you have). When you get the keys to someones vehicle you have entered into a legally binding agreement, they even usually sign a piece of paper. If they don’t pay you, you are able to keep their vehicle and under a Mechanic’s Lien you can take that paper to the state for a title to it and sell it.

    • dshwa

      Moderately attractive? How charitable of you.

      • nmmagyar

        I actually have a “thing” for pudgy gingers. I’m working on it (with Chuck Todd’s help. Or because of Chuck Todd. Chicken. Egg. Who the fuck knows anymore)

        • Blank Ron

          So do I. She and I just haven’t set a wedding date yet.

      • chicken thief

        Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder…

        • kindness

          Needz moar goggles.

          • Beezelbubbles

            The goggles…they do nothing!

      • MrBlobfish

        Probably stinks like ass.

  • customartist

    City of Grandville says he doesn’t even have a business license.

    But the Real question is, will they now give him one after he’s threatened to sabotage automobiles, which could then endanger the general public?

    City Manager: Ken Krombeen
    (616) 530-4980

    And check out the Mechanic’s Rap Sheet.
    Assault & battery for starters.

    https://opencourtrecords.org/c

    • chicken thief

      Wait a sec…. did Joe the Plumber lose weight and move to MI?

    • Unforgotten

      OH….noes! He ain’t a nice guy? A decent law abbiding guy? An honest-to-(you know Who)-taxpayer-no-moocher-working-class guy?
      Who could have thought of that (besides people with a funcional brain)?

    • OctopiRage

      So, Ragey McFucknuts is so butthut he has to take it out on others, who’d of thunk it.

    • TrufflePig58

      Assault and battery – no doubt he beat up a fag, like that even counts. Who’s the victim there, clearly it was the guy who was so offended by some limp-wrist that he had to kick his ass and then do 30 days in jail!

      oh, and here’s the full link: https://opencourtrecords.org/case.php?id=11259

      • JustPixelz

        Um … how does he get a gun? OH WAIT! I forgot about The Amendment.

  • Bill Slider

    He will suck my bolt, but not my nuts, got it.

    • kindness

      No Teabagging for him then? Oh my that is going to hurt.

  • Leema Raven

    Translation: Please send money

    • Hardly Ideal

      I don’t have money, but can I pay him in snakes?

      • Leema Raven

        Yes, yes you can.

      • OctopiRage

        Exposure dollars, please.

    • OctopiRage

      This seems to be the new bigot business plan, don’t it?

  • Jerry

    So I need the truck worked on and it’s gonna hafta be there a while, so I call my cousin to give me a ride, so while I’m filling out the paperwork, Cuz pulls up in his Prius, and oh Jeezus on a triscuit, he’s wearing a shirt with a flower on it, some piece a crap his new girlfriend bought him, and the next thing you know, Cuz and me are surrounded by a bunch a mechanics tellin’ us to get lost. Now the truck’s plumb broke down and I have to drop a bunch of $$$ to get it towed to the next town to get it fixed.

    Thing is, Cuz’s new GF is smokin’ hot. We shoulda brought her along.

    • Biff52

      Of course she’s hawt, why else do we wear dumb shirts they get for us?

  • “I will put your vehicle together with all bolts and no nuts.”

    Another soggy-brained tea head conservative obsessed with nuts.
    http://www.festivalstalker.de/content/pictures/imageupload/301.jpg

  • laineypc

    I wonder if he would refuse service to hawt lesbians.

    • dshwa

      Only if they don’t let him watch.

    • nmmagyar

      I thought all Lesbians knew how to fix cars. It’s in the genes – along with playing softball and liking Melissa Etheridge

  • timpundit

    Go Fund Yourself.

  • OneYieldRegular

    “All bolts and no nuts” seems to describe this guy pretty well.

    • OctopiRage

      I’d say all nuts, but that’s just me.

  • Sebastian Melmoth

    I remember about thirty years ago a BDSM & leather queen visiting Texas from San Francisco asking me, “Do you know why cowboys have their names embossed on the middle of their belts? It’s so truck drivers can know who they are fucking.” Well, Brian, Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.

  • chicken thief

    He just wants to get the Nuge to do a commercial for him.

  • Hey, white, employed, churchgoing gun-owners? If you really want to deflate my ego, go ahead and prove my presumptions wrong by not being enormous, lying bigots. You’ll totally knock me on my liberal ass, and that’s what you want, right? Give it a try.

  • MrBlobfish

    This freedom they always talk about? Is it to be a dick? Ignorant? Wasteful? Spiteful? I know, I know. aot,k

  • shastakoala

    Some days it’s just not worth chewing through the fan belt. Sigh.

  • MrBlobfish

    He’s just tryin’ to get a date with one of the Palin gurls.

  • Metadude

    Is that a choker he’s wearing? Hmmm…

    • It is a manly, muscular, manly, metal, manly JESUS choker, w/ a cross on it, O.K.?

    • The choker keeps gayness from leaching up from your dirty bits and reaching your brain.
      Also too, bloodflow.

  • jesuswasablack

    “if you are a gay and you keep it to yourself”
    My bet is that Mr. Klawiter had an unnatural encounter at the rest stop recently and is afraid his playmate is gonna go public, time to crank up the “I hate the queers” premptive machine!

    • Logic of Color

      “if you are a gay and you keep it to yourself”

      yeah sounds like the voice of experience

  • The next step for B.K. :

    Neo-Nazi: I Hate Gay People ‘With A Passion’ And I’ve Killed Others

  • chrisvogel

    This, and all of those that follow, cannot be a surprise to anyone. Firstly, it is exactly what is intended by all of the moronic “Religious Freedom Restoration Acts” that over 20 states have passed. Secondly, it is further evidence, if it were needed, as to what Christians are really like.

    • Tansy Geek

      You’re probably right but I prefer to think he’s a lazy jerk with a failing business and plan so clever he could brush his teeth with it. All credit to Blackadder.
      Also assume brushing his teeth is something he would actually do.

      • Beezelbubbles

        Baldrick libel!

  • timpundit

    I say we turn his FB page into a Internet Dating sight for Michigan gays.

  • kindness

    Gee thanks for the rebuild of my diesel. Say, you don’t mind if I pay for it with all these $3 bills I have do you?

  • Logic of Color

    What if I buttsecks my girl in the back seat while my truck gets serviced? Me, being a guy, am not putting it in the correct hole, or is that just a technicality? OK, what if I find a third hole? What if I straight-sex Mrs. Klawiter on the premises? Oh wait, that’s adultery, which Is Bad. Oh! Oh! I Know!…what if I straight-sex Mrs. Klawiter aka his Mom, and she’s divorced? Would that be OK? If I brought a gun would help?
    Who do I fuck to get my truck fixed, since apparently truck-fixers really really care??!!

    • Tansy Geek

      As long it’s not up on the lift, maybe fucking the truck itself would be a good option.

      • Blank Ron

        Could be problematic if he has one of those 5″ diameter exhaust pipes.
        Or not?

  • Gleem-McShinez

    So, wait. Is he running for President or not??

  • TheBidenator

    Can goats take over this jackhole ginger’s site? Not that anyone would be able to tell the difference but still, this guy is begging for it.

  • gomerel

    I thought the line about fixing your truck with no nuts was pretty funny.

    • Tansy Geek

      I figured he was talking about his own or maybe not adding the free Trucknutz he throws in if you come in on a Thursday for an oil change.

  • Biff52

    This guy right here is why I hate Paultards.

  • Politics_Nerd

    I think I have an idea for a sure-fire niche business. LGBT-friendly Wedding Pizza and Diesel Repair. Stay tuned I gotta set up the kickstarter real quick….

  • I’m thinking of starting a GoFundMe to help me open a pizzeria/floral shop/car repair place that won’t turn away anyone based on their sexual preference, except any woman who openly says she would mate with this cretin.

  • elpinche

    Performance for Duramax, Cummins, and Powerstroke, RAM trucks…..no wonder this closet case is so frustrated.

    • Zippy

      needs moar quick lube

      • nmmagyar

        True Story – the Guy who owned the Zip Lube franchise in Albuquerque was gay (and friend of mine).

    • A Bashful Nobody

      Holy smokes! And most of those engines are like 6.7 liters huge!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Blank Ron

        Size queen!

  • AnOuthouse

    Is there a computer program that creates the wingnut posts? because they all are the same and its really getting boring listening to their drivel.

    • Blank Ron

      If they’d spring for the paid version they’d be getting more variety.

  • AnOuthouse

    Unemployed, White, church going, gun owners describes my neighbors. And yes, they are racist conspiracy theorists too. I don’t think having a job or not has much to do with it.

  • FlownOver

    Aww, he’s just upset ’cause they keep sucking his cock.

    • RC

      Or won’t.

  • lljktechnogeek

    Midland (the location of the Planet Fitness in question) isn’t exactly a city that could be considered “nearby” relative to Grandville. The two cities are as far apart as Bridgeport, CT and Providence, RI. (Or, if you’re a west coast liberal instead of east coast, as far apart as San Diego and LA.)

    • nmmagyar

      120 miles is not “far” by most western state standards. Anything under 4 hours is “close” to us.

      • Beezelbubbles

        In Colorado, 120 miles is “just up the road”. If you hit Wyoming, you’ve gone too far.

        • OrdinaryJoe

          LOL. How many times did I hear directions that went, turn left at Cheyenne?

  • Callyson

    But if you come in, like gays ALWAYS DO, and say “hey, mechanic, while you’re working on the truck, we’re gonna buttfuck in the backseat if you don’t mind”

    All this time, I’ve been wondering what I should do while a mechanic is working on my car. Thanks, gays, for the tip!

    http://twilight.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/139413250304.gif

    • NotALiar

      Just the tip.

  • Tony Alexander

    i predict that this whole xtian ‘i won’t server no dirty gays’ go fund me ponzi scheme will go full-on bear stearns (circa 2008) in no time flat.

    • Bear OmNomNom

      I predict several stern bears will attack it!

  • Tio_Doidinho

    Now THAT is the premise for the gay porn movie of the decade. “Hott Xtian Ginger Butt Busters XXVII”, here we come!

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Not that I have a diesel or would ever darken his door, but how would he know I was gay? Is there some kind of card I need to show????

    • Bee-Doo

      You have to drive straight as you put your truck in his bay.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Seriously, this shit pretty much writes itself.

    • JD Mulvey

      The fact that you can’t fix your car yourself… dead giveaway.

    • He is gay, he knows.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      The throw pillows you have placed ever so perfectly across the back seat.

  • JD Mulvey

    Okay, the nuts and bolts thing is pretty funny.

    • HolyCow!

      I guess he just wants to kept all the nuts to himself. So greedy.

  • HolyCow!

    We gays don’t need straight ginger diesel mechanics. That’s what lesbians are for.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I was so sad to learn that it wouldn’t be energy efficient to shoot these guys into the sun.

  • FLdispatches

    This is the LEAST surprising thing I could imagine, having grown up near Grandville. This lovely fella sounds like he could’ve been one of my former classmates, actually! (They are easy to recognize: Hillary is a Feminazi and a closeted lesbian, Monica is simultaneously a slut and a poor innocent defiled by that awful man-whore Clinton, Rush is the font of all wisdom, Bush Pere’s visit to the area in the 1992 campaign was the highlight of their lives, and did I mention they are mentally still middle school students living out the early 90s in a sort of Groundhog Day scenario, minus Bill Murray and anything that makes life worthwhile?)

    Thank White Republican Jeebus I escaped West MI and made it to FLORIDA! Yay, me!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Out of the frying pan and into the swamp.

  • Dear Michigan LGBT folks. This guy is NUTS so you should BOLT from his shop.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      WASHER hands of him.

  • I am a Christian. My company will be run in ways that reflect that. That’s why I’m going to fuck you in ways that you didn’t think possible and when I go to church on Sunday I will be bathed again in the blood of Christ and make me all nice and clean. Remember…Christians are perfect…just forgiven.

  • Guest

    They guy probably feels rejected because no self respecting gayster would hit him in the face wth a pie.

  • TechYes

    West Michigan is nothing but Alabama with snow.

    • churl

      Hey! Alabama has snow and they believe in… climate change.

  • teddy21

    When you’re doing things in a Christian way like using someones logo to imply representation that’s not real, you should probably just keep your pie hole shut. Seems Mr.Dieseltec has a big ole Cummins logo on their web site and facebook page and they are not a certified Cummins shop. By mid day today Cummins sent out a release stating that fact and that they had contacted Mr. Bigot Dumb Ass to let him know he has to take their logo down. Something tells me others (such as Ford) will be doing the same soon.

    • Bear OmNomNom

      Yep… as a matter of strict legal technicality, the use of intellectual property requires an intellect.

  • OneYieldRegular

    I hope he’ll be so principled as to refuse treatment next time he ends up in the ER when the attending physician happens to be gay.

  • ThatDale

    No wonder I am not “racists, privileged, bigot conspiracy theorist”—I am only white, without all that other stuff. He may have a point.

  • Relativicus

    I used to have one frustratingly unanswerable question — where do the jokes come from? — that came to me when I heard the first space shuttle joke three hours after the explosion. This was pre-internets, people, and I was in Syracuse, NY! We don’t have joke-makers in Syracuse, NY, (I think?). We just have jokes. So I had that question and I will never get an answer to it. But, I was okay with having it so long as it was the only one. Now I have two, because I have no idea how random people with Faces Pages get to be nationally known for the dumbass things they say. Surely, there’re no Wonketeers who were friends with Klingerhuffer before he said his dumbass things. And probably none of Klitswiper’s actual Faces Pages friends disagree with the dumbass things he said. So why do I now know Klockbiter said dumbass things on his Faces Pages? And where do the jokes come from?

    • vivian

      It’s jokes all the way down.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Used to have? Sounds as though you still have the question(s). Short answer – 42.

  • HolyCow!

    That’s right gay men. Brian wants your nuts and if he gets your nuts, he’s keeping them all to himself.

  • BeckyLB

    I love how all these “We don’t serve gay” fucksticks only seem to exist in backwards little hick towns. Sure they’ll say it there, they aren’t risking any business.

    I want to see one of these “No Homo” people say their piece in a nice big city. Some place with a thriving LGBT population. Not Asscrack Nowhere, where there’s like, 1 gay person in a 100 mile radius.

  • Me

    Pretty sure this dude gave me a blowie in the back of his truck once…

  • Brian Klawiter is in the closet big time.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    When this clown ends up in prison, I’m sure his ideas about buttsechsing will change.

  • dude is screaming for a kilt.

  • Gristle McThornbody

    I find it amazing that dimwitted ‘phobes like this idiot claim some moral imperative to refuse service to people he considers sinners. And yet, the book he supposedly gets his morals from explicitly commands him not to judge. Doesn’t he think his god can take care of the sinners when the time comes? Really, it just seems like he’s asking for a smitedown from the big guy. Well, he would be if the big guy actually existed.

    And, since everyone on earth supposedly is a sinner, I would think he’d be morally obligated to not do anything for anyone at any time, ever. Good luck with that, bubba.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Maybe he figures that since he has already been judged (guilty of assault and battery), he now has a free pass to judge.

  • SallyMae49418

    OK. Here’s what I don’t get about the kind of rants this guy did on his Facebook. Why is it the “rainbow parade” that always gets targeted by these kind of people? Is he down with BDSM? If I were into that and came in with my submissive flaunting my “lifestyle”, would he refuse to service my car or put the bolts back in all wrong? He’s not ranting about the town hooker. If I were a high end escort and came in dressed to kill and handed him my business card offering him a two-fer would he put the bolts back in my car all wrong? Why is it the “moral” issue these people are always ranting about are the “queerz”? You never hear them slinging shit ’bout anything else! Just the queerz! I wonder if he’s going down on his girl or wife? Is that moral or OK or is that none or anyone else’s business in his book? Can the pastor ring his wife’s bunghole or is that none of anyone else’s business in his book? I wonder exactly where this guy draws all his lines and what makes him the master moralist for the whole world? I wonder if he ever screwed out of wedlock and if that was OK in his world? It ain’t in the Bible. If he goes down on his girl or ringing her bunghole and the local grocery store owner thinks that is immoral, is the grocery store owner justified in packing all his groceries in bags with holes in the bottom? Live your life according to what you believe is right and wrong all day long. Preach about it. Shout about it. Talk about it. Advocate for it. Argue for it. But, refuse business service to someone over the fact that they don’t agree with you and live it and then say you’ll put the bolts in wrong if it’s clear to you they don’t? Hey dude, come to my place of business because now that I know who you are, I’ll make sure you get great, er, “service” ;) . Leave the rainbow parade alone, dude. No one is forcing you to screw anyone you don’t want too, or hide who you do screw, by punishing you with a service you pursue on the open market. Why would you try to force someone to do so?

  • Objectifer

    Guess I’ll have to get my Cummings serviced somewhere else.

  • Cowpocalypse_Now

    The grift goes on. You would think that the rubes would have started to catch on once Joe the unemployed plumber came onto the scene.

  • Bear OmNomNom

    …So two trucknutz are awesome, but four are terrible? I’m confused. Damn you, evil librul Common Core math class, for rotting my brain!!1!

  • SallyMae49418

    Fear the queerz! Fear the queerz! Them damned queerz that make up a whole 4% of the US population! Hey, you idiots, 96% of the damned population being just like you ain’t enough to make you feel safe? Geeze, louise, you feggin’ eedjuts! Take back ‘merca frum dem dayum queerz messin’ up our mo-rayals, damn it! We heterosexuals only repereseyent 96% of the dayum popalashun! Dem dayum queerz. Gonna make sure day dayum bolts fall out comin’ in my dayum gayraj. 96%! Imagine! Only 96% of the dayum popalashun is straight, mayan! Dem dayum queerz is rernin our socitee, I tell ya! Just dayum well takin over! Fear the queerz!

  • Ryene A.

    No one’s dragging the big kid out of the community sandbox, just asking him to stop pushing others out and share the space instead; but in his mind, it’s either all his, or the mean old grownups are taking it away from him. *sigh*

  • Paperless Tiger

    Be sure to get your Judy Garland CDs out the car before you take it in, or no nuts for you.

  • Ranina

    “Hey, let’s see if this guy will fix our limo…”
    “Maybe if we give him a good deal on some oil..”

  • Blank Ron

    ‘Observe, Watson. Although this man claims to make his living repairing diesel-powered vehicles, you will notice that his face is remarkably clean and free from any sort of oily residue. He is also wearing a great deal of jewelry, which mechanics abhor because of the possibility of it being caught up in machinery. From this I deduce that his business is failing and this is merely a publicity stunt, and that his intent is to obtain monies via GoFundMe or some similar means.’
    ‘Egad, Holmes, how do you do it?’

  • PirateCafe

    I wonder if he thinks his hourly labor rate isn’t thievery? IMO, anything over $20/hour for a mechanic is thievery, but that’s just me (and based on my limited experience.)

    • Politics_Nerd

      Most shops are $85/hr or more. You gotta pay rent, etc with that $.

      • PirateCafe

        Oh, I know, I know. Then there’s the mark-up on parts, shop materials, payroll, etc., etc., etc.

        Friends are shop owners and I’m basing my opinion on my experience as a customer and observer.

        Frankly, anyone changing a water pump on my vehicle, or brake lights, or windshield wipers, etc., does not deserve $85/hour. (Of course, these are things I can do myself.)

  • thats cool. I only came in to get my car checked over, not my political and lifestyle checked over by some wacko half-wit. Think i might go to that other mechanic round the block thanks!

  • Also… wants people to come into his business armed and loaded with weapons?
    That’s either a death wish or a durp wish!

  • rrgrqr

    http://bluenationreview.com/top-engine-manufacturer-to-homophobic-repair-shop-stop-using-our-logo/

    “At Cummins, diversity is a core value. We are not affiliated with this business and are notifying them to stop using our logo.”

    • ziggyman911

      Again we see the very reason Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed the sickness of homosexuality pushing their self on everyone except me or else will keep pushing because it’s something we will never allow the sickness to be a part of our lives it may be on every corner of our lives but I think God that there is a separation between that which is evil and that which is good. Sodomy is still an abomination like it or not your day of judgement is fast approaching and the Supreme Court nor Obama and his left wing oppressors will not save you it will be all they can do to run for their selfs there will be no where to run nowhere to hide judgement is coming through the righteousness of a holy God. I hope his business doubles.

  • rrgrqr

    http://www.mlive.com/news/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2015/04/no_business_license_for_auto_s.html

    “Anti-gay auto shop owner fights attempt to license business, claims government intrusion”

  • Joel Dent

    I’m pretty sure I saw this guy down at the bathhouse “servicing” quite a few of us queers.

    • Joel Dent

      We’d all brought our guns, and he was giving a deep discount on lube jobs, as well as body work.

  • geoffalnutt

    If he had just a breath of sense he’d have the teeniest beginnings of rudimentary pre-stupidity. He does not.

  • lather

    My Girlfriend passed away and they started a GoFundMe for me the same week as that Pizza place got 800K..
    Doing the right thing doesn’t always pay in cash but the ways I grew in doing the right thing were priceless..
    RWNJ’s! Kindly as possible go fuck yourselves!
    My place in heaven may not be guaranteed but I have been doing the right thing for 20+ years and if all the bad things I did when I was a kid send me to hell then I will be seeing everyone of those bigots who donated there and will be punching each one in the nose..

    (Kidding.. there is no H&H)

    http://www.gofundme.com/JoeForRhea

  • RJ (TO)

    It would be total awesomeness if someone brought their gun in and not only got a discount but everything in the cash register and office safe as well!

    If it quacks like a duck indeed.

  • Marceline

    Apparently GoFundMe has decided they no longer want to be the go to site for right wing grifters.

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026519217

  • unionthuggery

    I didn’t know that unions meant you didn’t have to supply quality work for your pay, or that having your workers under contract was a bad thing.

  • Otto66

    On behalf of the sane liberal people who live in Michigan, I’d just like to say how sorry I am that bigoted idiots have learned how to use the intertubes and display their stupidity to Facebookers. Glad to see “GoFundMe” shut him down. How soon before he goes on Faux Spews to cry about “political correctness”?
    Again, sorry.

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