Bill O'Reilly: Hillary Clinton To Murder All The Poor White Christian Men, Goodbye America

The world's greatest and bravest and most honest award-winning war correspondent and objective reporter, Bill O'Reilly, offered his own Hot Take on Hillary Clinton's chances of beating all the Republicans to a bloody pulp in the 2016 election. In O'Reilly's fair and balanced nonpartisan analysis, Clinton has the clear advantage, and the reason will amaze you!

Our traditional American values are under siege nearly everywhere. If you’re a Christian or a white man in the USA, it’s open season on you. Therefore, Hillary Clinton has an advantage. She can run a general campaign -- first woman in the White House! -- and I’m going to help you by increasing the entitlement society. It will take a very articulate and tough-minded Republican to defeat her.

Good thing Hillary Clinton is neither white nor Christian, because otherwise it might be open season on her too. But with her affirmative action ovaries, she should be able to beat the inarticulate, weak-minded white Christian men, like Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio. (Though she might have a harder time against Hispanic Jeb Bush, if he decides to run.)

This is not the first time (or the second time or the hundredth time) that O'Reilly, godfather of the War on Xmas, has warned his viewers that it is "open season" on right-minded white men of faith like Bill O'Reilly. In March, he deftly explained why the Liberal Media was attacking his bookKilling Jesusand the made-for-TV movie based on it:

The truth is, it is open season on Christians in America, and faith is not held in high esteem in the halls of Manhattan media operations. A movie like Killing Jesus is a noble endeavor, even if you didn’t like it.

Whatisnew is that O'Reilly is just lookin' out for Clinton and even offered some friendly advice to help her destroy white Christian America once and for all:

Also, Mrs. Clinton would be well-advised -- well-advised -- to distance herself from from Media Matters and the other guttersnipe organizations who use despicable, dishonest tactics to attack those with whom they disagree. If you embrace the smear merchants, Mrs. Clinton, we will have something to say about it.

Yes, we are sure O'Reilly and the rest of his colleagues at Fox News will be quite put out if any organizations use "despicable, dishonest tactics" to attack those with whom they disagree, because Fox owns the patent, trademark, and copyright on that.

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But not to worry -- O'Reilly promises he is "gonna be fair to Hillary Clinton," because even though her ladyparts give her a clear advantage in today's feminized America, O'Reilly doesn't "think gender matters one bit." Which is why, while being very fair (and balanced, we presume) to Clinton, "If this War on Women business is resurrected, we’ll have something to say about it."

Yes, Mr. O'Reilly, sir, we're sure if anyone starts pearl-clutching unfairly about how conservatives treat women -- and especially women who run for office -- you will have some deep thoughts about how it's all bullshit, there is no war on women, but Democrats are the REAL sexists, and won't someone please think of the men for a change?

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That's only fair.

[ Media Matters ]