Too bad, so sad

Awwwww, sad news for Bigot-Americans. Again:

A majority of Americans believe businesses should not be allowed to refuse services based on their religious beliefs in the wake of controversies in Indiana and Arkansas over gay rights and religious freedom, a Reuters/Ipsos poll found on Thursday. […]

The poll found solid opposition to allowing businesses to refuse services or refuse to hire people or groups based on religious beliefs.

Fifty-four percent said it was wrong for businesses to refuse services, while 28 percent said they should have that right. And 55 percent said businesses should not have the right to refuse to hire certain people or groups based on the employer’s religious beliefs, while 27 percent said businesses should have the right.

Guess that means Regular Americans really don’t care about that “Christian-owned” pizzeria being LITERALLY HOLOCAUSTED just like Anne Frank — a pizzeria that has raked in so much money from the wingnut welfare system, they’re literally giving it away to fellow oppressed Americans, like that Washington florist who can’t do wedding arrangements, even for her favorite gay customers, because of her Bible sexytime “relationship with Jesus.”

Is there more bad news for bigots? Why yes, there is:

The poll, conducted April 6 to 8, also found that 52 percent of Americans support allowing same-sex couples to marry, far more than the 32 percent who oppose it.

Guess that means when the Supreme Court lets us know (soon, guys, so soon!) that it really is A-OK and also constitutional too for gays to do marriage to each other, a majority of the country will be dancin’ in the streets, while a minority of florists and bakers and pizza-makers, and that asshole Bryan Fischer, will be sobbing into their pillows about how this is the end of everything.

Boo. Hoo.

[Reuters / Image credit: Matthew Inman, The Oatmeal]

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  • Vienna Woods

    So, ex-Senator/Never-President Santorum, what was that you were saying??

    • FlownOver

      Whoever the GOP nominates is going to have to shift balance so much between the primaries and the general he’ll be made an honorary Wallenda.

      • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

        Hopefully a Flying Wallenda.

        • Fred Wertham, Jr.

          Better a Falling Wallenda.

          • sohadicouldsplit

            How about a Failing Agenda?

    • Virginia Dreaming

      Nothing important or true!

    • JohnBull

      You’re all a bunch of commie lovin’ snobs!

      Jesus loves you.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        A. One of the above statements is true.
        B. It is not the second one.
        C. Ergo…

    • sohadicouldsplit

      “Anything’s possible with a little lube!”

    • retiredeng

      Santorum. The shitstain of American politics.

  • smashedinhat

    Still, “You snooze, you looze.” Be advised.

  • sillyclucker

    When will The Diary of Pan Pizza be published?

  • cousin itt

    A vast majority of this one Amrican believes Rand Paul has a 99% and fucking up by noon today.

  • freakishlystrong

    There’s that 26-28% that walks among the rest of us, you know, The American Peopleā„¢ that elected our current ridiculous Congress.

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      Mid-twenties, you say? I remember a certain unpopular president maintained approval ratings right around there while the nation made its final swirl around the toilet bowl. I wonder if there is a connection.

      • freakishlystrong


  • dslindc

    Huh, it’s almost like a majority of Americans recognize that business are different than churches. Weird. Maybe we could start voting that way, also too!

    • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

      However, a smaller minority of Americans recognize that business are different than governments. Or should be at least.

  • Virginia Dreaming

    Crying in their pillows? If the abortion question is any guide, they will immediately be trying their best to come up with any possible laws to abridge the rights of people who are gay in many small ways that they hope will add up enough to slake their fear of people who are different from them.

  • whothere

    Word is Marcus Bachmann is gleefully anticipating having that huge, throbbing, pulsing gaygenda shoved down his throat.

  • freakishlystrong

    If only these people could also make the connection between a woman’s right to her reproductive choices and religious zealotry.

    • Blank Ron

      They make all sorts of connections between religious zealotry and all kinds of other things. But they don’t consider themselves zealots…

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Sadly, they actually do, depending on how you frame the question. They really believe that the restrictive legislation won’t also restrict them. Civics, how does it work?

  • HobbesEvilTwin

    Sadly, this may be all the evidence CJ Roberts needs to declare there is no more bigotry towards teh gays and join the mouth-breathers.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors
    • FauxAntocles

      So Kaili is God?

  • Guest

    My religion says their religion is bogus. My religious freedom requires that they have none, or at very least practice in basements and back alleys. Also, my religion demands that my religious tenets are taught in school, and not theirs, and are put on sculptures on the lawns of city halls and municipal buildings. But not theirs, seeing as how mine has precedence.

    • Blank Ron

      Oh, yeah? Well… well… MY religion says YOUR religion sucks! So there!

      • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

        My Pope can beat up your Pope.

        • Dudleydidwrong

          Oh, yeah? My pope on a rope gets me cleaner than your lord on a cord.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Never forget that inherents of received truth religions cannot, by definition, be tolerant. Because if my god has told me that my truth is the only truth, how can your truth possibly be true. Ipso facto.

      Oy. Is it too early to start drinking?

      • sohadicouldsplit

        A Bloody Hail Mary seems most appropriate.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Antonin Scalia, is that you?

    • Vecciojohn

      Everything you say is true. Unless you’re a Jew or something.

  • Msgr_Moment

    “Fifty-four percent said it was wrong for businesses to refuse services,…”

    Why does America hate America?

  • Blank Ron

    This is why representative government doesn’t work. It is WAY too easy for minority opinions to hold sway over the will of the majority.
    … which, I suppose, is why said minority likes it so much. After all, we’ve had centuries to fix it, and yet here we still are. *grumbles*

    • BeckyLB

      I get what you’re saying,I think, just don’t forget, not too long ago, LGBT rights was the minority opinion.

      It’s kind of the government’s job, to operate in such a way to prevent tyranny of the majority.

      • Blank Ron

        You’re quite right. I may have been unclear.
        I would posit that the issue of LGBT rights has in fact followed majority opinion – or at least, the opinion of that portion of the electorate who actually cared one way or another. Once the issue became public, an increasing number of people believed that they deserved equal rights, until the various legislatures finally responded and began granting said rights (to a group of people who should never have had to ask in the first place, but that’s another rant for another day.)
        Does that sound right? Or have there been other factors that I’m unaware of? American politics aren’t the easiest thing to follow from the other side of the 49th Parallel…

        • BeckyLB

          Ohh, you’re perfectly right! It fits in with my “community” hypothesis. Back in the day, there wasn’t much support for LGBT rights, because LGBT didn’t “exist”. I mean, they existed, but nobody was admitting to it out of fear.

          Today, everyone knows at least one gay person, indirectly, and it’s hard to deny rights to someone you know.

          In the past, “majority” rule was (and still is in places) used as a way to deny LGBT rights. Hence my government comment about tyranny of the majority.

          • Blank Ron

            That’s it right there. “Majority.” Big diff between having a majority and actually being in power.
            And at this point I will admit that it’s no better Up Here. Canadians don’t vote FOR things, we vote AGAINST things. And spend the next five years complaining about it…

    • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

      A Parliamentary system would do the USA a world of good.

      • Spurning Beer

        It would be Funkadelic, in fact.

        • MrBlobfish

          America needs to give up the funk.

          • jmk

            Naw… we want da funk. We need da funk. We gotta have dat funk.

      • Blank Ron

        I’ve heard that a lot, in various places. It’s probably true. But it’s still representative – if I write an email to my MP concerning a current issue, he still gets to ignore it if it doesn’t dovetail with the current Conservative Party platform.

  • Akira Bear

    I’ve talked to some wingnuts at length and they honestly believe that LGBT people are attacking them simply by minding their own business and going about their lives. Basically, they have declared war on LGBT’s. I don’t know how we can make any progress with “thinking” as illogical as that. Teabillies don’t mind their own business. They don’t even understand the concept.

    • MrBlobfish

      Don’t worry. Reinforcements have been called up.

      • Walter Wellstone

        Fabulous, darling.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Those crazy gun bunnies….

      • Blank Ron

        I just had the coolest idea for the Toronto Pride Parade. I wonder if that pink and blue Centurion tank’s still in the compound at CFB Borden?

    • BeckyLB

      The wingnuts just want LGBT people to get back in the closet, where they “belong”. It’s easy to discriminate against an unknowable, rare “other”. By simply existing, LGBT are becoming part of the community. It’s hard to discriminate against someone you know.

      • LIT_Fag

        Gays in the closet, wimminz in the kitchen.

    • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

      TBaggers believe they are being attacked by atheists, too. What could be more religion-neutral than atheism? TBaggers are not, in general, smart enough to know the difference between the prefixes “a” and “anti.”

    • Blank Ron

      Srsly, why does it always have to be war? War on drugs, terror, Christmas, poverty, religion, gays, raccoons (look it up) and on and on. What’s wrong with discussing things over dinner?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Discussing things over dinner is so gay….

        • BackDoorMan

          … I thought that was brunch?

      • Akira Bear

        They all seem to have barely controlled misplaced rage. It takes very little for them to foam at the mouth. I also think that mob mentality is how they bond with each other. I think in their groups, gathering together to hate a target is also socialization time. It’s how they feel connected.

        • BeckyLB

          It’s all part of evolutionary adaptations they don’t believe in. Way back in our primate days, it was safer to band together into groups. Having an innate dislike of “other” groups helped with securing resources and avoiding predators.

          We don’t have those kinds of issues today, but the programming is still there. It’s not hard to tap into it for a quick endorphin rush.

          • bobbert

            This. If anything does kill off humanity, it will be the baked-in tribalism.

          • Akira Bear

            I think you’re on to something. I think that level of rage makes them high.

        • Blank Ron

          Oh, right, the contemporary version of the Two-Minute Hate.

      • Billy Rubin

        (Dinner with raccoons would not improve things.)

        • Blank Ron

          Beats dinner with wingnuts. For one thing the conversation’s better, and raccoons are WAY less judgemental. Especially if you’re serving fish.

          • david green

            But they have really awful table manners, rarely using the right fork for the fish.

      • Akira Bear

        OMG, there really is a war on raccoons.

        • Blank Ron

          That’s why I keep the assault weapons and rocket launchers IN the house.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Same percentage of Americans who get their information from Fox News. Ailes must be very proud.

  • Alex Grey


  • Spurning Beer

    The real lede here is the 27-32 percentage who believe discrimination is fine and same-sex marriage is wrong. The must be the same people who listen to your Limbaughs and are open to voting for your Santorumses.

    • BeckyLB

      Just remember, to those people, being LGBT is totally just a “lifestyle choice”, and it’s all about giving in to your depraved sinfulness instead of being strong for Gawd.

      Take solace in the fact that every year, the bigots get more and more marginalized. It’s a slow process, but we’re getting there.

      • sohadicouldsplit

        Keep asking said bigots to recall exactly–or even approximately –when they made that most momentous “decision” to be heterosexual. Such a profound life-directing event must surely be retained in ones memory no? NO? Witness THAT or GTFO.

        • BeckyLB

          It’s even better when you catch one who IS LGBT, and is doing their damndest to repress it. Those types are more than happy to tell you all about how they decided to go straight, and their daily struggles.

          I love informing them that no, same sex attraction isn’t a “thing” heteros deal with.

          • txb23

            For some reason, it never occurred to me until just now exactly why so many assbag conservative Teapublican idiots think that being gay is a choice: because they themselves have been CHOOSING STRAIGHTNESS SO HARD, in spite of their true selves. You can kind of see the logic in that, I guess.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            “Don’t think about dick, think about pussy! Don’t think about dick, think about pussy!”

          • Blank Ron

            You’ll be in your bunk…

          • BeckyLB

            Look at what our secretly gay person is working with. They get bombarded by everyone they know about how being gay is just a sinful choice, brought on by weak willpower. They spend every day trying to fight it, and be good little heteros just like the pastor said.

            Humans really bad about projecting ourselves onto others. Our gay friend here, because he knows no better, assumes EVERYONE faces the same “demons”. Not only that, the hetero people he sees guidance from all tell him how simple it is to resist. The hetero people have been making that choice all their lives (not being an actual choice makes it super easy, see).

            The sad part about it, is that gay people in these situations tend to end up dealing with lifelong issues with things like depression, or turn into the most rabid homophobes ever to reaffirm just how hetero they are.

        • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

          I know exactly when I decided. It was when Shiela Larson showed me her thingie in fourth grade.

          • sohadicouldsplit

            “You young sir are officially certified!”

            *stamps document*

            I saw my first vag when I was five, and with astounding precocious maturity promptly announced: “Girls have two butts!!”

            Still turned out gay. Even though I later dipped my stick in the pond (if you get my cruder meaning) a few times and will happily report that a vagina is a wonderful thing to have experienced; no mystery at all why het-men and like-minded ladies are so enamored by them. But man bits are my focus– again, since I was five (and those details are for another forum entirely!!!).

    • bobbert

      And think W was a fabulous Preznit.

  • I’m all…

    • Apparently Wonkette also doesn’t allow gifs. That would be funnier if you could see the “U Mad?” part. I’m sad to say it, but I may have to report Wonkette to the gay commissariat over this.

      • AntiDerpomeme

        I asked a bit earlier, and a helpful Wonketeer told me that while you can’t directly post animated gifs in Disqus, you can host ’em somewhere and then embed the image via HTML tag. I haven’t tried that yet (two steps! Quelle horror!) but I’m betting it works based on all the fun GIFs Callyson shares.

        • These are words I almost never say: that’s too hard for me.

        • Callyson

          Aw, I knew I was becoming known for using gifs!

          And yes, that’s pretty much what I do to get them: I even have a “Gifs” file in my bookmarks that has a growing collection. Something tells me they’ll come in handy when 2016 rolls around…

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    54%, 55%… so there’s a small subset of people out there who think it’s OK to tell your gay employee to refuse service to homosexuals, because Jesus.

    • Gil

      As my grandmother used to say ” Dear, assholes will always be with us.”. I think it is in the Bible somewhere. She was very religious.

    • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

      The funny thing is that most ‘necks don’t have anything like a functional gaydar. They’d be positively shocked to find out how many of their employees are.

      • BeckyLB

        Hey, as a bi, transgender redneck, I resemble that remark!

        Then again, I’m kinda an old school redneck. I’m all about working hard, playing hard, and being friendly. Respect for everyone, and always have a cold beer and another burger on the grill for when friends drop by. Catching lightning bugs at dusk, the ol’ fishin’ hole, and big Sunday breakfasts.

        Us real rednecks, we don’t go for all that being a bigot and disrespectin’ people. That’s trailer trash there.

        • Strepsi

          That’s almost exactly what David Letterman called “real Hoosier Hospitality”, which is why he’s been repeatedly ripping Gov. Pence a new hole.

          • BeckyLB

            I happen to be a born Hoosier myself, and Letterman is telling the truth!

            There’s no shame in being a redneck, and liking those rednecky things. Hell, I’ll go out muddin’ with the best of ’em. I know how to rig a trot line, field dress a deer, all that.

            Being a bigot isn’t a part of it. If you got time to be a bigot and “worry ’bout other peoples issues” as grandma said, then you obviously ain’t working hard enough!

          • Blank Ron

            Y’all are making me ashamed to be the son of bigoted middle-class Westmount Anglos… I heard that bloody N-word coming from my father far more often than I ever did from any three Americans.

        • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

          In the distant past I lived in Alabama, Oklahoma and Texas. Knew some fine folks in all those places. Knew some ‘necks, too – something about being an asshole when you don’t have to be one, as opposed to a matter of where you were born.

      • Strepsi

        Like every choirmaster and piano player in every church in the USA. If everyone came out to their loved ones, we would not even be having this “debate”.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I can’t wait until one of these assholes decides to refuse service to a Jew. Or a woman. Or a Catholic. (They’re already getting away with refusing service to Muslims, sorry guys)

    • Spurning Beer

      Age discrimination is only illegal for individuals over 40, even without deeply held religious superstitions beliefs. How many discrimination-fans would tolerate being told that they wouldn’t be hired or sold a six-pack of Busch Light because they were over 30, or under 40?

    • BeckyLB

      In the US, refusing service to a Jew, woman, or Catholic all falls under Civil Rights Act as protected classes.

      It’s the one thing wingnuts really don’t grasp. Protected classes aren’t about people. It doesn’t say “you can’t discriminate against African-Americans”, it says you can’t discriminate based on race.

      I’ve seen the “Well I’m a white christian male I don’t get protection huh?”. Wrong! A white christian male is protected under Race(white), Religion(christian), and sex(male). Anyone caught discriminating against our hypothetical falls afoul of the Civil Rights Act. Now, the fact that a WCM doesn’t face discrimination in any acceptable degree in the US is a different story.

      • Vecciojohn

        Us white guys aren’t oppressed? Oh yeah? Then how come they now let ladies have tee times on the weekends at my club?

        • BeckyLB

          You poor gentlemen, wilting under the thumb of the oppressive matriarchy! May I suggest a magazine to help take one’s mind off the anguish?

          (yeah, I knew you were kidding :) )

          • LaylaOhGee

            That pic is just…perfect, in so many awful ways. A million up chevrons to you!

  • OneYieldRegular

    These idiots don’t stop for a second to realize that such policies can be turned right back around against them. For example, say, by business owners who have a strong religious belief in a loving God, and don’t want any of that ignorant hatred in their supermarkets, department stores, banks, car washes, dog-grooming salons, or wine & wafer emporiums.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They NEVER think things through.

    • BeckyLB

      Sadly, most businesses are run for a profit/livelihood, and pissing off the majority non-LGBT customer base is a quick way to have your family go hungry.

      I’ve mentioned in the past, I run a small computer repair business as a side hobby. Gets me beer money and such, but I don’t depend on it to live. I’ve turned away a few bigot customers with “I’m sorry, it’s against my moral convictions to do business with a straight person.” Hey, as long as sexual preference and gender identity aren’t protected, it’s totally legal!

    • Vecciojohn

      Well damn it, if people would use their naughty bits the way God intended we wouldn’t have to think about these things!

    • jmk

      I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve tried to explain to these dimwits that the best way to guard against the imposition of sharia that they’re always screaming about is to strengthen the separation of church and state…but they never, ever, ever, ever get it.

  • nightmoth

    Somebody on the Atlantic comments board made a good point: What if a Sunni refuses service to a Shia? But the comment got ignored because the Xtians were in a Bible verse war with each other—even I succumbed briefly but there are just Too Many Verses to cherry pick in a scripture battle.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Those words…I do not think they mean what you homophobes think they mean.

  • Tony Alexander

    it’s kinda funny when you think about the fact that if these fire-breathing xtians literally followed EVERY word in their silly little story book, there’d be way, way ,way fewer of them running around.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They’ve made a number of attempts, some of them with some success, at this very thing.

  • dimplasm

    Enjoy your bigot party, while it lasts Haters. In the near future you’ll have time for actual hobbies and stuff. You can get your fantasies out of other people’s bedrooms and just download porn like other, normal, Xtians.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Most of us are actually godless communists, but we’ll never admit it.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Hello, I’m Zango, I’m a godless commie. What’s the next step and I heard it was open bar around here?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        An open bar? Dream on. Wonkette does not even allow comments.

      • Barley_Brains

        Perfect 12-step program: 1) admit you are a communist: 2) admit you are a godless communist: 3-11) drink 9 extremely bitter IPAs; 12) revel in the buzz of truth, joy and the dream of free beer.

  • Callyson

  • Me not sure

    I’m reasonably sure that Biblical marriage includes sheep and goats, because shepherding and goat tending can get very lonely. Especially on the weekend.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    27 to 28 percent support religious discrimination, eh? That figures. The Crazification Factor strikes again:

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I wonder what part of that 27-28% oppose miscengenation. My rough guess, AOT,K.

      • Anarchy Pony

        You are correct sir!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Well, you’ve got the 25% who still think Dumbya was the bestest preznident ever, Obummer is a Kenyan Muslin Socialist, and Benghazi!!!!!!1!. No poll is ever going to find less than 25% support for any sort of religious-conservative fuckery.

  • bobbert

    There’s that 27% (or so) again.

  • m3bosha

    This is the end.
    My only friend, the end.

  • blaid droog

    reputedly the emperor Nero would have xtians dipped in oil and set aflame to light his garden at night. and xtians today think they are being persecuted. they haven’t a clue.

  • Can’t hardly wait.



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