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A California state senate committee has passed a bill to deprive anti-vaxxers the FREEDOM! to claim their sincerely held personal beliefs trump the rights of their fellow citizens to not catch the measles. As it currently stands, SB 277 does not include an exemption for religious beliefs, which is only fair when you consider how few churches include an exemption for smallpox-carrying parishioners. The bill’s co-sponsor, state Sen. Richard Pan, is a board-certified doctor, so of course he’s spouting the pro-vaccine lies that Big Pharma wants you to hear.

“I’ve personally witnessed the suffering caused by vaccine-preventable diseases, and all children deserve to be safe at school,” said Pan, who is also a pediatrician.

“The personal belief exemption is now putting other school children and people in our community in danger.”

As of press time, it was unclear whether Sen. Pan was aware of how vaccines make kids “suffer retardation,” or if the purported “doctor” had ever even heard of vaccinosis at all.

Here’s one of the protesters at a rally this week explaining her TOTALLY rational fears about vaccines, per NPR.

“I think that everybody should be able to make their own choice. I am afraid that [my daughter’s] big, like, beautiful blue eyes will, like, not focus on me anymore, and, um, she won’t be the kid that she is.”

A perfectly reasonable, baseless fear, and one that is her right to hold as an American! Luckily, Republicans and Democrats are coming together to defend anti-vaxxers’ rights to unilaterally nullify any laws they don’t like, because Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs. Here’s one of the Republicans who voted against the bill in committee, displaying the lack of self-awareness common to his tribe.

Detractors of the bill, including Republican senator Jim Nielsen who voted against it on Wednesday, said it tramples on a parent’s rights, the [Sacramento] Bee reported.

“I have very profound feelings about parental rights and responsibilities and great dismay in American society over the decades how much that parental right, that parental responsibility has diminished,” Nielsen said, according to the newspaper.

Yr Wonket presumes that some pro-vaxxers out there would agree with Sen. Nielsen’s assessment about some parents shirking their responsibilities. Thankfully, he assures us that the free market will efficiently allocate communicable diseases only to those children dumb enough to be born to the truly stupid, so no need for government intervention.

Reaching across the derp aisle to link arms with Sen. Nielsen is none other than Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., son of Bobby Kennedy and husband of Cheryl from “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” who went from zero to Hitler faster than a chemtrail-spewing 747, showing off the Do-As-I-Say-Not-As-I-Vaccinate hypocrisy that keeps food on the tables of Boston Herald opinion columnists.

“They get the shot, that night they have a fever of a hundred and three, they go to sleep, and three months later their brain is gone,” Kennedy said. “This is a holocaust, what this is doing to our country.”

At a rally ahead of Wednesday’s legislative hearing, Kennedy said he had all six of his children vaccinated, but he remains concerned the pharmaceutical industry profits immensely when governments make vaccines mandatory.

Hey, you know who else’s people suffered after a patriarchal figure forged an unholy alliance between government and private industry? You’re absolutely right, the Kennedys have seen a lot of tragedy since Joe Kennedy, Sr. left Wall Street to head up the SEC.

Your move, “science.”

[Reuters / NPRSacramento Bee]

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  • JohnnyZhivago2

    Measles was our gift to native Americans!!! Why all the fuss now?

    • one_who_wanders

      This way it is the gift that keeps on giving!

      • weejee

        Scratches that unnamed itch.

    • Zippy

      smallpox, also too

  • Blank Ron

    And the Kennedy Curse passes to a new generation…

    • PubOption

      Alcoholism?

      • Tansy Geek

        And simpering self-infatuation w/ a profound sense of entitlement.

  • one_who_wanders

    He went full Godwin right away.
    I didn’t know “The Masque of the Red Death” was set in California.

  • kindness

    Maybe Disneyland needs to make a Measles Day.

    • Zippy

      It’s a small rash after all

      • Shibusa

        Fastpasses available for Mater’s JunkScience Jamboree.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    I bet Hitler was big on measles vaccines too.

  • weejee

    Does Kennedy own stock in a calamine factory?

  • “I think that everybody should be able to make their own choice. I am afraid that [my daughter’s] big, like, beautiful blue eyes will, like, not focus on me anymore, and, um, she won’t be the kid that she is.”

    This will happen naturally at about age 13. No vaccine required!

    • PsycWench

      Is this change reversed at some point? Please say yes.

      • I’m still waiting on my 24 year old daughter. Though, to be fair, I was 30 before my parents got their act together.

        • willi0000000

          it’s odd that for most children . . . between the time you’re 14 and until you reach about 24, your parents go from being the stupidest people on the planet to being among the smartest.

          [not applicable to those who knew their parents were idiots before they were 9]

          ETA – my children still know i’m an idiot but, at least, they now think i’m an OK guy . . . for an idiot.

  • MsAnthropesMr

    ““They get the shot, that night they have a fever of a hundred and three, they go to sleep, and three months later their brain is gone,”

    And that, friends, details the creation of the Tea Party.

  • exinkwretch

    If there was a vaccine that stopped the ghey, you can bet your ass the Republicans would forget all about that “parental rights” bit.

  • Anarchy Pony

    Being incredibly dumb never hurt nobody!

    • Steverino247

      Yeah, when IS stupid going to burn?

      • Anarchy Pony

        Not soon enough.

  • SnarkOff

    Hey, anti-vaxxers: Vaccination actually RAISES A CHILD’S IQ! It turns out that 100 percent of the intellectually gifted children at Snark Off, Jr.’s School for High Achieving Young Geniuses have been vaccinated. The vaccine has to be the cause. It’s science!

  • JMPesq

    So parental rights should trump their kids’ rights to not die of easily preventable illnesses just because their parents are credulous morons? Fuck that shit.

    • Zippy

      Even worse, their parental rights should trump other kids’ rights to not die of easily preventable illnesses.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      So, if parents think it’s a good idea for their kids to open carry glocks and hold up liquor stores, those rights should be held sacrosanct?

      Uh huh.

  • Callyson

    “You anti-vaxxers are welcome to leave anytime you want. In fact, I’ll help you pack.”

    – my avatar

    • toughsister

      Taliban-cpntrolled areas in Pakistan would welcome them.

    • Dorothy Nelson

      In fact, we could use the extra water. You probably take long showers.

  • Callyson

    I am afraid that [my daughter’s] big, like, beautiful blue eyes will, like, not focus on me anymore, and, um, she won’t be the kid that she is.

    “Mom, please stop embarrassing me!”

    – the kid

    • dslindc

      I am afraid that child’s mother, is um, like stupid as fuck, and stuff. Like totally. Um, yeah.

      • OctopiRage

        Miss Teen South Carolina had a kid? Who knew?

  • CalvinianChoice

    You mean Larry & Cheryl finally got divorced?

  • Callyson

    I have very profound feelings about parental rights and responsibilities and great dismay in American society over the decades how much that parental right, that parental responsibility has diminished

    Yeah? Well, I have very profound feelings about childrens’ rights and responsibilities and great dismay in American society over the decades how much that childrens’ right, that childrens’ responsibility has diminished, asshole…

    https://31.media.tumblr.com/c6281f9a7ab6bff552d2522cec4012e0/tumblr_inline_n0ldddLtA51rg0g8s.gif

    • Thank goodness Nielsen no longer “represents” my district. I can still hear his babby-crying over the federal order that our prisons no longer violate prisoners’ rights to not be given cruel and inhumane punishment.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …as a person of DIRECT African descent, I can only relay how many people in Africa would take every drop of vaccine that these idiots refuse

    • willi0000000

      i’m sure that many there would, and have, walked miles to get their children immunized.

      [. . . and here, people won’t get off the couch to vote]

    • Mehmeisterjr

      As the brother of a man who caught the measles in the ’50’s and who barely survived the encephalitis that followed, I can only relay how many people who would have escaped death or horrifying later health problems, and how we would have taken every drop of vaccine that these idiots refuse, if only it had been invented at the time.

      Honestly, “idiots” is too polite. Makes me spitting mad.

  • actor212

    Yew kin haz mah meezels when you pry ’em drum mah cole red hans.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Is it still legal to say “vaccine” in Rick Scott’s Floriduh?

    • actor212

      You have to call it “medically authorized stabbing”

      • Anarchy Pony

        Medically authorized epidermal forced penetration.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          By a company owned by Mrs. Rick Scott, who will bill the taxpayers.

        • Steverino247

          KINKY!

  • chicken thief

    “…and three months later their brain is gone,” Kennedy said.”

    If your offspring are as smart as you, Kennedy, who would even notice?

  • PsycWench

    “I have very profound feelings about parental rights and responsibilities to infect their own children, and the children of others, with preventable diseases that cause great suffering and possibly death and great dismay in American society over the decades how much that parental right, that parental responsibility has diminished”
    Fixed it for you

  • AntiDerpomeme

    Praise be to Zorn, we really are living in the Stupid Ages.

  • chicken thief

    OT, but I wonder if Kennedy ever choked on a Cheryl pube like Larry did.

  • Serolf Divad

    My religion requires that my kids get some horrible, communicable disease and pass it on to your kids. Also, my God insists that I sit in an aisle seat on the airplane and when the cake is cut I get a piece with an icing flower decoration on it.

    • PsycWench

      Does this God also insist that you be allowed into an already closed class and that you get extra time for exams and extensions for papers? Because I think I may be acquainted with that God.

      • toughsister

        I had one such harpy in a class. Even the Student Handicapped Services at my campus was sick and tired of her.

    • toughsister

      My religion requires me to say FUCK YOU to anti-vaxxers

    • Villago Delenda Est

      My God insists that if you try to take my aisle seat on an airplane, i throw you out the emergency exit in flight…with votes, of course!

  • chicken thief

    “I am afraid that [my daughter’s] big, like, beautiful blue eyes will,
    like, not focus on me anymore, and, um, she won’t be the kid that she
    is.”

    That’s called “growing up”, Protester Lady. Get over it.

    • crunchyknee

      But, like I’m going to like keep my like kids beautiful blues eyes bright for like forever, like. She’ll always like like me.

      • willi0000000

        i suggest a glass jar and some formaldehyde.

    • toughsister

      Growing up? And if that creature were a fish, would she also be able to climb trees?

    • timpundit

      “Therefore I am having her stuffed at the the Teddy Bear Factory so she can stare at me with those blue eyes forever.”

    • Mehmeisterjr

      And anyhow, are those eyes beautiful and blue or only like beautiful and blue?

      • LaylaOhGee

        They’re mildly attractive and teal.

    • Yup, in ten years or so those big like beautiful blue eyes will be rolling constantly at her, because her daughter will be a teen and consider her parents the stupidest humans on Earth. In this case, she’ll be right.

  • RumAddled

    What if if my parental right is to beat the shit out of my kid? It’s a slippery slope folks

    • CalvinianChoice

      And that slope ends with the right to treat your kid’s meningitis/diabetes/cancer with prayer instead of medicine.

  • crunchyknee

    Sheesh, people sure are hepped up on goofballs.

  • Shalimar

    “They get the shot, that night they have a fever of a hundred and three, they go to sleep, and three months later their brain is gone,” Kennedy said.

    Dude, the shot is just a red herring to confuse you. The aliens stole their brains. They only take victims who just got their shots so no one will realize what’s really going on. I have special, child-size hats that will protect your children, for just $30 plus $3000 in taxes and handling charges (fucking government takes everything, amirite). I know it sounds like a lot, but your child’s brain is worth it.

    • CalvinianChoice

      I wish this Mommyblog allowed comments, cause you nailed it.

  • beatbort

    OK, an idea:
    Since the anti-vaxxers will not shut up or comply, then let’s just move them all to an isolated island off the coast of California, the way all the lepers were sent to Molokai, in Hawaii. That way, we can keep an eye on them, occasionally send them a robot-navigated raft with supplies.

    • Left Coast Tom

      What did the sea lions do to deserve the anti-vaxxers?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I’m sure if we conslut with Rand Paul, Rafael Cruz, or Tom Cotton, we can find some pretext.

    • willi0000000

      raft? . . . raft? . . . there was something about a raft . . . it’s been bugging me for the last three years.

  • timpundit

    WTF happened to this Kennedy???

    • CalvinianChoice

      He was OK until he got his MMR..

      • Steverino247

        He was okay until he met his wife, probably.

        • bobbert

          Nah, he’s been sort of cray cray for a long time. He’s got See-Conspiracy-Everywhere Disorder. The problem is, he’s sort of right about some of ’em, but he’s got no filter.

          Edit: Of course, I can kind of understand why he might have SCE Disorder.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Olivia Benson would disagree with RFK the lesser.

  • Tendernob

    Sirhan Sirhan shot the wrong RFK.

  • whitroth

    Y’know, this is sort of adding to existing law. Federal law.

    “The federal government derives its authority for isolation and quarantine from the Commerce Clause of the U.S. Constitution.

    Federal isolation and quarantine are authorized for these communicable diseases:
    Cholera
    Diphtheria
    Infectious tuberculosis
    Plague
    Smallpox
    Yellow fever
    Viral hemorrhagic fevers
    Severe acute respiratory syndromes
    Flu that can cause a pandemic

    Federal isolation and quarantine are authorized by Executive Order of
    the President. The President can revise this list by Executive Order.

    Under section 361 of
    the Public Health Service Act (42 U.S. Code § 264), the U.S. Secretary
    of Health and Human Services is authorized to take measures to prevent
    the entry and spread of communicable diseases from foreign countries
    into the United States and between states.

    The authority for
    carrying out these functions on a daily basis has been delegated to the
    Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).”

    Oh, and it also says, in a sidebar, “Federal isolation and quarantine are authorized by Executive Order of the President. The President can revise this list by Executive Order.”, so our Beloved Evil Tyrannical President can just issue an executive order, and bang, all our precious liberties to spread communicable diseases is GONE!

    mark “is Republican-voting a communicable disease?”

    • OctopiRage

      Wait, Constitutional backing for FEMA camps?

  • Angry_Cop

    The local school board meeting was flooded with scores of lunatics last month as the rumor (true) was that they were going to vote their support for 277. Much to my surprise, the wingnut on the board introduced the motion and it passed unanimously (most of the local opponents, at least the PUBLIC ones, are lefties, it won’t hurt him any.) The wailing and butthurt took on such epic dimensions the cops had to clear the place out. Unfortunately, this will just accelerate the local demands for full charter schools, so that the special blue-eyed Aryan snowflakes can maintain the purity of their bodily fluids, but that would have happened anyway without this. Fuck those people. You’ve got to be some kind of extremely stupid, uninformed, and uncaring person to not have your kids vaccinated.

    Science, thankfully, is not open to negotiation with your feelings.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Far in the future — after chickens have completely faded from history, due to their extinction by being fucked to death — people will wonder aloud:
    Which came first? The Brain Disappearance Holocaust, or Anti-vaxxers?

  • Strawberry Shortfuse

    Not a week ago an anti-vaxxer popped up in my feed (crunchy west LA parenting group, so we get a lot of them) and one of her arguments against vaccinating was, I kid you not, that those diseases aren’t so dangerous anymore “because modern medicine can work wonders!”

    I have a do-not-engage policy on the topic these days but that one almost drew me back in with the sheer gravitational power of its circular non-logic.

    ETA: Oh, FFS, it followed me here.

  • richardgrabman

    Greetings from Mexico, measles free since 1995. Well, we have had two cases, both foreigners who’d been to California.

    • bobbert

      Oh, stop it with the First World bragging.

    • SadDemInTex

      I have also heard that there are very, very few diagnosis for autisim there as well. Is that true?

  • DahBoner

    Kennedy said. “This is a holocaust, what this is doing to our country.”

    NO BUBBIE’S CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP FOR YOU!!!
    http://media0.giphy.com/media/lWkgR8PmKjlqo/200w_d.gif

  • Guest

    Satan wants us all vaccinated. Jesus wants us pristine, in our birthday suits, running through the sprinklers.

    • david green

      No sprinklers in California.

      • Guest

        Whoa, yeah, that’s a bad deal: they got them some Hollywood, but got them only a drizzle of water. I was them, I’d move east.

  • Andrew

    Since anti-vaxxers will believe every single conspiracy theory out there, why not create a new conspiracy theory?

    The them the anti-vaccination movement was started by the government as a form of population control. Wake up sheeple, they want your kids to get sick and die so they won’t have to pay them welfare when they inevitably drop out of elementary school at the age of 21.

  • Me not sure

    Look at it this way, if her eyes stop focusing she could become the Governor of Wisconsin. See, all better now.

  • SadDemInTex

    This issue is as divisive as our politics today. There is no possibility of dialog between these two views while people are passionately blinded by the thought of their children suffering harm (and I think we can allow that this is driving the rhetorc of both sides). Jebus, we can’t have a decent conversation about universal healthcare and “countless” people think the Prez is a Kenyan Muslim who can’t be allowed to prez while blah. It seems pointless to me to snark about the idiots who have ridiculous reasons for not vaccinating their children.

  • “I am afraid that [my daughter’s] big, like, beautiful blue eyes will, like, not focus on me anymore, and, um, she won’t be the kid that she is.”

    I believe that’s called “becoming a teenager”.

    • Amazeballs

      Which, in fact, she may prevent by refusing to immunize her child.

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