Bobby Jindal Is BFFs With Some Duck Dynasty Guy, Let's All Vote For Him Now
So much sexciting news in the wacky world of Republican presidential primaries! Ted Cruz is in, Rand Paul is in, and now Bobby Jindal ... well, he's still making up his mind about whether he'd like to one day be the question to aJeopardy!also-ran answer, but at least he's got a great idea for a running mate: that dude fromDuck Dynasty. No, not daddy Phil Robertson, who only resists the temptation to cut off your penis because the Bible tells him so. One of the prodigal sons (there are so many, they are practically the Duggars). The Louisiana governor is talking about his bestie, Willie Robertson, "icon" and "hero of many":
"He's a great guy, I think he'd be a great running mate. It'd be a huge pay cut for him, so I'm not sure he'd be willing to do it."
Is Jindal joking? Maaaaaaybe. But then, we figure he's always joking, because how could a guy who believes in exorcisms and creationism, but not volcano monitoring, cuz that's dumb "science," possibly expect to be taken seriously?
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Obviously, we are all for this winning ticket. We'd love to see the whole Robertson clan out there, stumping with Gov. Jindal, teaching us 'bout how abortion is good or maybe not -- who knows? -- and how to do Bible sex the Robertson way and how to Cajun rub your meat (not a euphemism).
Of course, if Jindal decides to wimp out because the growing GOP field is so dad-jeans intimidating already, the Robertsons can still look forward to their Duck Dynasty musical, opening soon in a Vegas near you.
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[ The Des Moines Register via The New Civil Rights Movement ]
These happy relationships between reactionary republicans with fascist goons like Robertson tells us all we need to know about these candidates: they are crypto-fascist Dominionists and as such, they are anti-democratic water carriers for the oligarchy. They use all this religious twaddle to obscure to their co-coreligionists the policies they will support for the uber wealthy will in fact hurt them. But if they can delude the crypto-fascist bible humpers that gay marriage is the greatest threat to mankind then the oligarchs will keep funneling millions into their campaigns.
Yeah, gays are ruining us, certainly not little things like the horrifying drought in the west that certainly isn't caused by human activity. Yeah, we need to worry about your Christian rights.
That jump in food prices? Hey, that's just the engine of democracy, the free market, and your damned lucky you have it. The oligarchs get the free money and you duped Christians get the chaff.
But, please, I'm not endorsing the other side of the Demopublican Party as they are no better in getting the oligarchy power out of our lives.
This is really funny because on the same day US Weekly was reporting that Cafeteria Christian Willie was in Mexico officiating over the wedding of his Bambi killing pal Jason Aldean who happens to be an adulterer and a recent divorcee.
I guess sinnin against the Bible is OK if you do it south of the United States of Jesus border.