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Just lay back and enjoy the bullshit

Oh hey there, Arizona, how are you being terrible this week? Trying to help poors by taking away their health care so they learn how to not be poor? Nah, that was weeks ago! This week, the Arizona House and Senate have passed a bill to restrict abortion — yes, again — that includes a creative amendment requiring abortion providers to inform their patients:

It may be possible to reverse the effects of a medication abortion if the woman changes her mind but that time is of the essence.

That’s in addition to the long list of unnecessary information doctors are already required to recite at least 24 hours before the procedure — like the “probable anatomical and physiological characteristics of the unborn child” and that “medical assistance benefits may be available for prenatal care, childbirth and neonatal care,” which is just too adorable since, would you believe it, the state is trying to get rid of that too! (See above re: trying to take away their health care. AHEM.)

So what could possibly be wrong with telling women it “may be possible” to undo their abortion when they leave the clinic full of regret for murdering their unborn baby, whose anatomical characteristics probably include body parts and everything? We already know how most women — and men! — regret their abortion and usually can’t even sue anyone over it, let alone get it reversed.

We’ll let Dr. Eric Reuss, from the Arizona Section of the American Congress of Obstetrics & Gynecology, explain:

There is absolutely no evidence-based data that the process can be reversed. If passed, our state government will force physicians to impart hearsay to their patients.

Oh. So it’s yet another example of “pro-life” legislators trying to write their science fiction fantasies into law. Sure wish we could say we were shocked and amazed, except that we see this happen All. The goddamned. Time.

The amendment is so absurd that even “pro-life” Republican Rep. Regina Cobb spoke in opposition:

She said administering high doses of the hormone progesterone to block the abortion pill’s effects has not been studied, and was worried lawmakers were adding unproven medical procedures to state law.

“We just don’t know the causes or what could happen after the medication has been given,” Cobb said.

Of course that didn’t stop her from voting for the bill anyway. Because babies! And ladies! And pro-life blah blah FART DERP UGHHHHHH!

The bill now heads to Doug Ducey, the new Republican governor who makes the last Republican governor look like a radical commie hippie liberal. He hasn’t yet said whether he will sign, but he sure hates abortion and ladies so, you know, probably.

Congratulations, Arizona Republicans, you should be real proud of yourselves for continuing your long-standing tradition of not caring whether the things you say and do have any basis whatsoever in reality.

[Cosmopolitan/Senate Bill 1318/Arizona Republic/Arizona Republic again]

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