Tucker Carlson And Brother Buckley Double-Team Lady In Most Sexist Bullsh*t We've Seen Today

Turns out walking piece of barely human garbage and professional Fox News dick-sucker Tucker Carlson has a brother named Buckley (yes, we know, and we can only imagine Tucker's life-long fraternal envy, since he must have been named for one of the lesser   racists ). And although we only learned of Buckley's existence seconds ago, we are not at all surprised to also learn that Buckley is just like his brother: a piece of barely human garbage.

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BuzzFeed has obtained a series of emails between New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio's spokesperson Amy Spitalnick and the soulless scumbag staff of Tucker Carlson's internet toxic waste dump, Daily Caller, where apparently Tucker occasionally allows his brother to also pound his fists on a keyboard and call it "writing."

Ms. Spitalnick had the audacity to contact Daily Caller because -- and hold on to your hats! -- it had posted a story that was incorrect. After much back and forth -- in which Ms. Spitalnick provides a video and transcript, and the Daily Caller staff still refuses to issue a correction because haw haw haw like a chick is going to tell them what to do, ballscratch, assscratch, burp -- Tucker Carlson offered some gentlemanly constructive criticism on how to not bea woman doing her job"whiny and annoying":

Dear Amy,

Thanks for your email. You believe our story was inaccurate and have demanded a correction. Totally fair. We are going over the transcript now.

What [editor Christopher] Bedford complained about was your tone, which, I have to agree, was whiny and annoying, and I say that in the spirit of helpful correction rather than as a criticism. Outside of New York City, adults generally write polite, cheerful emails to one another, even when asking for corrections. Something to keep in mind the next time you communicate with people who don’t live on your island.

Best,

Tucker Carlson

Now, you'll have doubtless already gone ahead and hit the Buzzfeed link to see what Tucker Carlson was referencing. So which was the whiny part? The part where Spitalnick says, "It is disingenuous at best for you to suggest the mayors were calling for anything else. Please correct the story now"? The part where she says, "That is simply wrong. Watch the video and you will see the context – and, most importantly, I am telling you now as a mayoral spokesperson that they were highlighting the President’s plan as an 'ideal reference point' for what the funding should be. So please correct the story now."

Isn't it weird how two people can see the same thing and interpret it so differently? Weird! When we see that, we see a woman doing her job, concisely and to the point. But we guess when Tucker Carlson sees "whiny" Amy Spitalnick asserting her demand for a correction, he sees her demanding something really different, really ridiculous, like maternity leave, or equal pay for equal work! LOL!

Anyway, Tucker's brother Buckley went on to virtually high-five his more-famous, more-successful, less-Charlie Sheen-looking brother, via reply-all, for his awesome comeback that totes put that cunterson in her place, and he used some not-nice words to say so.

Great response. Whiny little self-righteous bitch. “Appalling?” And with such an ironic name, too… Spitalnick? Ironic because you just know she has extreme dick-fright; no chance has this girl ever had a pearl necklace. Spoogeneck? I don’t think so. More like LabiaFace.

We would give you a moment to gird your loins and prepare your comments at the irony of someone named "Buckley" making fun of someone else's name, but frankly "Spitalnick" sounds pretty ethnic -- probably Jew? -- so you can see why it would be hilarious to the Swanson frozen dinner heir.

Tucker Carlson insists it's all in good fun, and calling Amy Spitalnick a whiny bitch without ANY SEMEN ON HER CLAVICLE AT ALL, because who would even wanna nut on that guffaw guffaw hork FART was meant, like, super-nicely. And hell, it probably was. In fact, they probably do speak that way even about women they like, the good ones, the ones who aren't such cuntfaces as Amy Spitalnick obviously is, doing some dumb fuckin' "job" instead of blowing Buckley Carlson at his whim, as is his Swanson frozen dinner birthright. For shame, Amy Spitalnick. Don't you know what you owe your social betters, the Carlson boys?

[ BuzzFeed ]