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In a bravura performance Tuesday, Ted Cruz crammed an astonishing number of lies about global warming into four minutes of a longer interview with Texas Tribune reporter Jay Root. It was really pretty impressive! Cruz asserted that “we should follow the science and follow the evidence” on climate change, and then proceeded to reel off a whole catalogue of distortions, half-truths, and outright lies that have been refuted again and again. He hit just about every space on the Climate Denial Bingo card; for the sake of our sanity, we won’t refute everything he said, just some of our favorite stretchers.

Cruz began by saying that “global warming alarmists” ignore the “actual facts and the data” about climate, asserting that “satellite data demonstrate that there has been no significant warming whatsoever for seventeen years” — a beautiful bit of cherry-picking that should win Mr. Cruz a seat on the Senate Agriculture Committee. Of course, while it takes only a moment to assert, you need an entire article to explain why it’s essentially a lie. For one thing, 17 years is hardly anything in climate data that show a steady rise over the past two centuries, and there definitely has been warming — mostly in the seas, rather than at ground level. NASA, which owns the damned satellites, disagrees with Cruz on this too. It’s a bit like claiming that because someone who’s dying of cancer has a period of slower tumor growth (in one area, for that matter), they were never sick at all.

Next, Cruz mentioned that in the 1970s, some scientists warned of “global cooling” — never mind that it was never really taken seriously in the scientific press, even if Newsweek did have a panicky cover story about it.

And then Cruz gets to one of our own favorite myths, the idea that because climatologists and activists realized that the earth isn’t really warming (and it definitely is), they adopted the term “climate change” to replace “global warming.” Oh, hey, wrong again! Both terms have been around for decades, and while they’re not precisely interchangeable (since warming in some parts of the globe can cause weirdass weather elsewhere), the last decade and a half’s preference for “climate change” was driven not by the scientific community, but by the George W. Bush administration — good old GOP doublespeak guru Frank Luntz recommended using the phrase in a 2003 memo on how the administration should talk about the environment:

It’s time for us to start talking about “climate change” instead of global warming and “conservation” instead of preservation.

“Climate change” is less frightening than “global warming”. As one focus group participant noted, climate change “sounds like you’re going from Pittsburgh to Fort Lauderdale.” While global warming has catastrophic connotations attached to it, climate change suggests a more controllable and less emotional challenge.

So yeah, “they” changed the terminology — but “they” weren’t the scientific community.

In addition, “global warming alarmists” use fear and intimidation to scare people by labeling them deniers. We’re thinking this has something to do with all the denials of scientific reality that deniers do, maybe. Cruz follows that with a related whopper:

Today, the global warming alarmists are the equivalent of the flat Earthers. It used to be ‘It is accepted scientific wisdom: the Earth is flat,’ and this heretic named Galileo was branded a denier!

That’s pretty cute! Even while saying we should be “guided by science,” Cruz really argues that we shouldn’t trust science at all, because what non-scientists in the Catholic hierarchy thought was true at one time is now known to be false. Funny, that argument sounds rather familiar, almost as if Glenn Beck had said the same thing about vaccines earlier this year. Or every loon with a disproof of evolution or relativity, for that matter.

Oh, and also Al Gore just made it all up to get rich, and if we do anything to cut carbon emissions, single working mothers will starve. Do you want single working mothers (and Exxon/Mobil) to starve? Well do you?

So, hey, that’s pretty good! Depending on your criteria, that’s six or eight separate lies in just four minutes, from a man who says he’s been “following the science.” He didn’t manage to make even a single statement that was unambiguously true.

And now a word from a real scientist, Neil deGrasse Tyson, who said in Florida on Monday that the real enemies of getting anything done about climate change aren’t so much the polluters and big businesses — they’re just going where the market takes them, and where the government lets them go. No, the biggest problem is voters who keep electing climate-denying idiots like Rick Scott and Ted Cruz:

“I don’t blame the politicians for a damn thing because we vote for the politicians,” he said. “I blame the electorate.”

Tyson has a point: a poll last year found that Americans are, in general, less concerned about climate change than people in many other parts of the world. And though most Americans believe climate change is happening, many don’t fully understand why.

Of Gov. Scott’s idiotic (but hilarious) ban on state employees even using the words “climate change” or “global warming,” Tyson said, “The science is not political. That’s like repealing gravity because you gained 10 pounds last week.”

Tyson also had some choice words for Cruz, regarding his badgering of NASA Administrator Charles Bolden by suggesting that NASA has no business studying the climate:

“If you’re going to ignore Earth — and no one else is paying attention to Earth the way NASA is — you could be planting the seeds of your own destruction,” Tyson said. “It’d be different if most of [NASA’s budget] was spent on Earth, but that’s not the case.”

Wouldn’t you just love to see Neil deGrasse Tyson talk to Ted Cruz about climate for an hour? Since Tyson will soon be moving his Star Talk program from radio to TV, on the National Geographic Channel (which is, yes, owned by Fox — go figure), maybe Tyson’s booking people could bring the Senator on for a little education session.

[RawStory / Texas Tribune / ThinkProgress]

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  • MsAnthropesMr

    This guy? Again?

  • memzilla

    Oh, to see NGT bitch-slap Cruz, literally and verbally! Who wouldn’t pay munniez to see that!

  • Princeton and Harvard’s reputations sink a little further with each interview Cruz does.

    • memzilla

      Remember when your mom or dad smacked you after every word of loving correction? I’d love to see one of his old professors do that: “Didn’t… **smek** I… **biff** teach… **zetz** you… **kak** better… **whump** than… **fip** that?”… **vompa SHOOM!**

    • JustPixelz

      Dubya went to Yale, then Harvard Business School. A degree from Decatur State is now the gold standard.

  • Lizzietish81

    I got it! He’s one of those fish people from Innsmouth!

    https://tentaclii.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/degen.jpg?w=529

    • memzilla

      Iä! Shub-Cruzurath!

    • HarryButtle

      Not even Cthulhu himself (Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn) would lay claim to Ted Cruz.

      • Lizzietish81

        Come on, think about how Lovecraft always describes his monsters. Pale and flabby. That’s why we cannot look upon Cruz without revulsion.

        IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!

        eta: Plus his cultists are mindless degenerates, holy crap!

        • bobbert

          Squamous, too.

          • Lizzietish81

            I beheld a round head, with a mouth of about a foot or two in diameter, within a yard of my face. The head, with no visible eyes, was pale and flabby from lack of sun and exertion. Its mouth was lined with rows of pearly teeth, so I felt that if anything should fall into it (perhaps myself!), it would be instantly torn to shreds. The lower part of the mouth, going in to the throat, was red and slimy, and visibly curved upwards towards the rest of the ivory body.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      That’s Rand Paul!

    • Blank Ron

      Hey, global warming affects us too.

      – the Deep Ones

    • Blank Ron

      I see more resemblance to the blind idiot god Azathoth.

  • dslindc

    Why oh why can’t willful ignorance be painful . . . even just with votes?

  • onedrewthree

    Republican talking points memo #2484761,
    In the rare occasions now and in the future when our actions are literally repeating the mistakes of history, mouthpieces are to assume the strategy of switching roles. We estimate by twisting all logic to assume the injured party status, we can convince dumb people who vote for us anyway to hold up signs saying whatever we want on the local news. Yours in Satan – Dick Cheney.

  • fratdawgg23

    Ted Cruz is having none of that ‘humility.’

    Cruz is a con-artist in fancy suits and cowboy boots.

    • Blank Ron

      Not THAT fancy

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    …and as Galileo walked away from the Inquisition, he muttered under his breath, “And yet the world still turns, except for the past seventeen years.”

  • janecita

    Could Cruz be Giordano Bruno instead?

    • Anarchy Pony

      No, cuz Bruno was still more correct than ted.

      • janecita

        I just think that “the church”, climate scientists, should deal with Cruz the same way that the Inquisition did with Bruno.

        • SterWonk

          The Inquisition voted Bruno out of office?

          • janecita

            Permanently.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …why even argue with this shyt head? He is either dumbest man In the northern hemisphere or a disingenuous shyt bag that is willing to let the country burn for personal gain!

    • dshwa

      Those are not necessarily mutually exclusive.

  • Cruz and his advisor prep for his next media coup.

    • HarryButtle

      White House Chief of Staff Slugworth.

  • Spurning Beer

    No, Ted, not Galileo. Jim Jones.

  • Conservatives should really just stay the hell away from metaphors. They’re so bad at indirection and abstractions.

    • PubOption

      But they do well at misdirection.

  • Viva La Tabula Raza

    His presidency should be… interesting.

    • janecita

      Presidency???

      • sw19womble

        “I just hope we can win a primary!”

    • JohnBull

      I don’t think he has the stomach for a presidential run.
      All hat, no battle.

      • Viva La Tabula Raza

        Well, I sure hope he doesn’t realize it till late in the game, if only in the interest of comedy.

        • Monsieur_Grumpe

          I suspect Ted already spends a lot a time under a desk in a fetal position.

    • JohnW

      Maybe he’ll get his permanent residency now he’s no longer Canadian

    • Akira Bear

      Nicknamed “Infinitesimallus.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It does seem a shame we’ll never experience it.

      NOT

  • jviscont1

    one can imagine Galileo telling his inquisitors of how Roman senator Gassius Cruzius was also once mocked.

    • beatbort

      I prefer the senator’s nickname, Biggus Dickus

      • chicken thief

        That’s like the 400 lb NFL lineman being nicknamed “Tiny” in actual dickus, right?

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …and in another case of “you missed the point of the story”:

    Galileo was a SCIENTIST that used the scientific method to come to the conclusion the earth was indeed round. It was the Religous Nut-Bags in church who IGNORED “science” and refused to change their ignorant point of view.

    EDIT: Galieo DIDNT surmise that the earth was “round” and not “flat”. He was the father actually the pioneer for “Heliocentrism”. Which is actually something else Ted Cruz has no clue about

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      And thanks to the printing press, scientists around Europe verified and agreed with Galileo, even if most common citizens were either not aware or took the more Biblical, Earth-centric view. You might say popular opinion on the matter looked somewhat like, I dunno, asking Republicans today about global warming.

    • Anarchy Pony

      Galileo was fighting the church on the issue of geo-centrism. Not the shape of the earth.
      /knowitallism

      • AngryBlakGuy

        …actually, GREAT correction! I was a little to concentrated on rifting on Mr. Cruz for being an epic dumb ass. I think I may have caught some of the “splash damage”. I’m a little embarrassed on this one because I consider myself a astronomical nerd

    • Biff52

      To be fair, pizza are also round.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Pfff, right, Libtard. What do you know about anything?!
      Galileo wrote “Green Eggs And Ham”

  • Viva La Tabula Raza

    “I follow the science.”

    Dude, ‘science’ is not a sports franchise.

    • chicken thief

      Or patriotic country music.

    • Tendernob

      This is a guy who believes that the universe was created in 6 days and that one male and one female had all the children in the world. He follows the science like I follow whoever the fuck those One Directions are.

  • JohnBull

    One of these men will be remembered for centuries. The other we’re trying to forget right now.

  • beatbort

    “Wouldn’t you just love to see Neil deGrasse Tyson talk to Ted Cruz about climate for an hour?”
    It would never last that long. It’d be like the second Sonny Liston-Cassius Clay fight. Over before the First Round ends. Neal deGrasse “Mike” Tyson vs. an ant or a silverfish.

    • sw19womble

      Apart from the fact that Senor Cruz’s lizard brain would stubbornly refuse to admit that he’d been knocked unconscious.

    • wingr47

      Five mins in it would be Cruz clutching His chest “I’m coming to meet Ya Elizabeth…”.

      • beatbort

        And Tyson would be calling him a “big dummy”.
        RIP Fred Sanford

  • deanbooth

    If you dropped Cruz and Scalia from the tower of Pisa, they would hit the ground at the same time. Science!

    • Viva La Tabula Raza

      As Morpheus said to Neo, “Show me.”

      • chicken thief

        I’ve tried that line on ladiez to get them to show me their tits and it never worked. But I didn’t use the “as Morpheus said to Neo” part. That phrase makes the request sound way more Greeky and classical. I’m sure it will work now!

        • Viva La Tabula Raza

          Only if they’ve seen The Matrix more than once…

    • JustPixelz

      They would both keep going into the underworld.

      • ThePuckStopsHere

        Talk about a race to the bottom.

    • Thaumaturgist

      I think you forgot that hot air rises.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I have not met Galileo and I doubt I ever will but, you sir, are no Galileo.

    • Blank Ron

      I can, however, see him being one of the guys who had the Dialogue banned.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    How to disprove climate science:

    1) Look for the biggest hot spike in the temperature record… 1998!
    2) Do the math: 2015 – 1998 = 17 years!
    3) Draw a straight line across those 17 years
    4) Repeat ad nauseam, “See? No warming! For (checks math) 17 years! In the troposphere! According to remote satellite microwave sensors and not ground thermometers! Suck it, libtards, I did the math!”

  • HarryButtle

    Simply holding an unpopular scientific opinion doesn’t make you Galileo, Ted. 99 out of 100 times, it makes you A Idiot.

    • beatbort

      or a moran

      • chicken thief

        or a Teatar…. never mind. That would be repetitive.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Or Hitler.

  • SuspectedDemocrat

    What a Simplicio!

    • Candy Apple

      Eso es la verdad.

  • JustPixelz

    “That’s like repealing gravity because you gained 10 pounds last week.”

    But that’s what the metric system is for. A 250 pounds blob of fat like, say, Ted Cruz would weigh only 113 Kg. That’s over a loss of over 125.

    And if we switched to Celsius, temperatures will drop significantly. Instead of sweltering in 100ºF, we’d enjoy a cool 39ºC.

    • Thaumaturgist

      I personally would really support repealing gravity. Seems to me, there’s a constitutional problem with the current law of gravity. Because Galileo.

      • ryp

        Let the states decide!

        • Blank Ron

          Voters in the ‘lard is a food group’ states would be all over that…

  • jviscont1

    my question is, if someone gets insurance through healthcare.gov and their identity is stolen, do they go away, forevs?

  • sillyclucker

    Neil DeGrasse Tyson couldn’t speak to Ted Cruz. He doesn’t speak idiot.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      They could bring in Megan Kelly as a translator. She’s fluent in both.

      • wingr47

        sarahsarahsarah

        • Blank Ron

          Griftzilla only knows how to speak gibberish

  • chicken thief

    You libtards are just sayin all that shit ’cause Hillz is quaking in her pantsuits at the thought of facing a real true American Patriot conservative in the general.

    • wingr47

      Really think Cruz will be the nominee??? WE are doooooomed!

      • chicken thief

        I think he has about the same chance of being the GOP nominee as mah main man Louie Gohmert. Well, maybe slightly better than zero since Cruz is actually running.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    Climate change only became a big issue after Obamacare was proposed…. Coincidence??

  • Vienna Woods

    ” Or every loon with a disproof of evolution or relativity, for that matter.”

    Yeah, I see that a lot from people claiming that Shakespeare didn’t write Shakespeare, also, too.

    • Blank Ron

      Well, he didn’t!

      – Francis ‘Frank’ Bacon
      – Christopher ‘Chris’ Marlowe
      – Edward ‘Ed’ de Vere
      – William ‘Bill’ Stanley

  • OneYieldRegular

    So Ted Cruz (R-Yawn) has decided to go with a tattered fourth edition of The Karl Rove Playbook: taking an expected line of attack on oneself and turning it 180 degrees onto your attacker.

    Galileo, by the way, had nothing to do with the flat-earth people, who’d been proven wrong some 150 years before. Cruz has no idea what he’s talking about. He knows that. He also knows that his target audience doesn’t know that and doesn’t care.

    • onedollarjuana

      Pythagoras figgered out that the world is round, six centuries before Christ walked on water. Ted Cruz is no dummy. He knows exactly how to pander to the mouth-breathers to get his goals.

      • And he knows our corporate media belongs to the Church of Both Sides Do It and his strategy is time-tested.
        ~

      • Virginia Dreaming

        I forget his name, but a Greek mathematician actually calculated the earth’s diameter pretty accurately using shadows and triangulation. To best of my knowledge there was never really a time when really educated people thought the earth was flat, only uneducated people, or those steeped in religious thought did.

        • doktorzoom

          That would be Eratosthenes, whose discovery was featured in the very first episode of Carl Sagan’s original Cosmos — I think maybe to remind us that we’ve always been a clever species, current political examples notwithstanding.

          • Virginia Dreaming

            Thanks Doc, I taught Eratosthenes’ method one year in my geometry class. But I am typical science geek in that the discovery (and method) are more important than the discover’s name. (Either that, or I’m getting older and have a harder time remembering things :-)

  • nice_marmot

    Ted Cruz, (R) Texas, graduated from Princeton University, obtained his juris doctorate from the Harvard School of Law, and earned his PhD in Scientificiness by repeatedly reading some parts of The Bible.

  • sw19womble

    Josef Goebbels would have been proud.

    • Remember when Anne Frank oppressed all the poor blond people?
      ~

      • Anarchy Pony

        She really negatively impacted their sincerely held belief that there should be no untermensch.

      • Blank Ron

        And all the poor Nazis wanted to do was send her and her family to camp. For free.

  • dshwa

    What fascinates me about the science deniers is how they think science requires faith, the same as any religious belief. No kids, there’s two things about science that make it different: First, there’s a set process to doing science. Second, it has to be repeatable and verifiable by anyone who wants to test it. Third, anyone can do it, if they have access to the equipment and the basic knowledge of the subject. Anyone can buy a telescope, track the movement of the planets and their own observations and math will confirm that Galileo was right about the planets. And that’s true or all science, and completely the opposite of how religion works.

    • Viva La Tabula Raza

      To paraphrase Trotsky, You may not be interested in science, but science is interested in you

  • LoveSW_Prequels

    1. Aggressively deny climate change.
    2. Claim God will destroy us all for teh Gay marraige
    3. Gay marriage is legalized and becomes increasingly accepted whilst the climate goes to shit.
    4. Yell “SEE, TOLD YA SO!!!!” as the Earth is destroyed

    WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!!!!!

    • Land Shark

      5. ????
      6. Profit!!

  • Anarchy Pony

    I really wanna take a votefork to this lying scumsucker.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Votecleaver.

      • Land Shark

        VoteBat™

    • Gleem-McShinez

      I suggest we rename the guillotine to “The Poll-o-tine.”

      Polls include votes, see?! And if you pronounce it a certain way, Canadians will be drawn to it!

  • Gotta love how quickly these god-botherers throw religion under the bus when it suits their persecution narrative.

    • jmk

      Given the expressed views of the angry idiot who raised him, I’ll bet you ten donuts that this smirking assclown doesn’t consider Catholics to be TrueChristians ™, and so he can cheerfully throw the Catholic Church under any number of buses and still feel all virtuous.

      • Hardly Ideal

        As Scumbag God once said, “Over 9,000 denominations worldwide… choose wisely!”

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          And how many different versions of the Bible?

  • DahBoner

    That’s rich, Ted Cruz calling SCIENTISTS Flat Earthers.

    Especially since the Bible says the Earth has four corners, edges and ends (Isaiah 11:12, Revelation 7:1, Job 38:13, Jeremiah 16:19, Daniel 4:11, Job 38:13, Job 37:3, Job 28:24).

    And the sun rotates around the Earth (Ecclesiastes 1:5).

    And you can see the whole Earth from the top of a mountain, something that would not be possible if the Earth is round (Matthew 4:8).

    http://media.giphy.com/media/qdomms1Kdx8Yg/giphy.gif

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      Isn’t it funny how God took the same cosmological view as bronze age tribes in the middle east, instead of using his vantage point to see that the world is round?

      • laineypc

        He didn’t want to be the spoiler, silly!

    • Hardly Ideal

      Nevermind that ancient Greek sailors knew Earth is round because you see a ship’s sails come over the horizon first, then you see the hull.

      • DahBoner

        Ancient Greek Sailors: But the Earth isn’t flat. It’s round because you see a ship’s sails come over the horizon first, then you see the hull.

        Bible Authors: Yada, Yada, Yada. Talk to the hand!!!!!

  • Duke

    Climate change is different in Canada

    • Blank Ron

      Snow falls, snow melts, you can’t explain it.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Poor, victimized Ted Cruz.

    My heart pumps buttermilk for him.

    • Blank Ron

      Really? Mine threw up a little.

  • Candy Apple

    You know what? I thought I was ready for the fuckwittery this time around. I watched these assholes embarrass themselves in 2008. And what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? Because I managed to survive the jaw-dropping dumbfuckery that was the 2012 election more or less intact. But now, as I watch Numbnuts here call ME a “flat earther” for accepting the conclusion of satellite photos that I can see with my own eyeballs, I realize that I’m not ready to take this crap again.

    • ez

      Candy, the sad fact is that their stupidity in 2008 did not kill them. Now they are back, just as stupid as ever but with more experience in being so stupid they stink.

    • Yeah, but that photo of the earth is flat, so global warming is a hoax and Solo shot first.

  • Biff52

    Who puts that much faith in satellites, anyway? My HiDef TV has been borked for the last 10 days, therefore satellites can’t be trusted.

    • SuspectedDemocrat

      We’ve had no satellite TV for SEVENTEEN YEARS!!!111

  • Tendernob

    I don’t believe 2+2=4 because I follow the math.

    • Candy Apple

      That’s right — 2 + 2 = 5.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        THERE.ARE.FOUR.LIGHTS!

        • Candy Apple

          That was an excellent episode.

  • elpinche

    I’m not ready for this shit.

  • Tendernob

    Global warming? Pfft. My freezer still makes ice cubes. Riddle me that, Scientists.

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    Meanwhile, in the ‘ray of hope’ category, my very red town, in a very red state just announced that it will be getting 100% of its energy supply from renewable sources (contracts are signed for both wind and solar) starting in 2017 AND they did it not because of the environment, but because it made economic sense.

    • Blank Ron

      If you can’t depend on their brains, appeal to their wallets.

  • Robert Weiler

    The minor difference between Cruz and Galileo is the facts supported Galileo and they contradict Cruz. Other than that, they are exactly the same.

    • Blank Ron

      Galileo was half-Canadian?

      • Hardly Ideal

        Italian, which is apparently Far-Eastern Canada

        • Blank Ron

          I was going to make a comment about his family living near Eglington and Keele, but only other Torontonians would get that…

  • Candy Apple

    Okay, here’s the play: Cruz goes balls-out Bircher Society to energize the base. They throw money at him like never before because he speaks their truth. But he knows he’ll never be president. He doesn’t intend to win. He’s just shilling for the war chest they’re going to award Mr. Middle Of The Road that the wingnuts would never vote for. Cruz will keep taking donations, then bow out gracefully and endorse Jeb or whoever and give all that sweet sweet Bircher money to him.

    • Mormos

      I’m pretty sure he’ll find a way to keep some for himself.

      • Candy Apple

        Oh, naturally. It’s all part of the grift — that and possibly his own Fox News show.

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          Same with Ben Carson. He’s not running for president. He’s auditioning for Fox News.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t think this assclown is ready for primetime, because you can’t make undeniably mockable statements and also have one of the most punchable faces ever, and not draw the ire of the entire connected modern world.

    He’s going to really wish he hadn’t Goebbeled so much shit during this interview.

    • Gleem-McShinez

      “Mordor wasn’t even half as punchable.”

  • Mormos

    I am reminded of that twilight zone episode. The one with the pig people, cause Ted Cruz is a pig person.

  • chascates

    Is there a way this could lead to Cruz being burnt at the stake?

  • Virginia Dreaming

    Cruz does not accept that life evolves, even though we have seen humans producing and influencing that evolution. Why are we surprised that he doesn’t accept that climates can evolve and that humans can influence that evolution. (Although, strictly speaking climates don’t evolve, they develop or change, since evolution involves reproduction. And I have never seen baby climates.)

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    “Wouldn’t you just love to see Neil deGrasse Tyson talk to Ted Cruz about climate for an hour?”

    What we would really like to see is Mr. Tyson beat the living shit out of Ted Cruz for about an hour! Can I get a “here, here”?

    • Candy Apple

      With votes!

  • Me not sure

    How about we replicate Galileo’s gravity experiment by dropping Ted off of the Tower of Pisa head first?

  • Beaumarchais?

    Blaming us for changing global warming to climate change when Frank Luntz actually did that is uncannily like when Mitch McConnell blamed Obama for signing the TARP legislation, which W did in October 2008. They know it’s a lie and they know they’ll never be called on it. These aren’t people with a different point of view—they’re liars.

  • agathman

    They laughed at Galileo, and he was right!
    They laughed at Copernicus, and he was right!
    They laughed at Einstein, and he was right!
    They’re laughing at me, so … QED!!!1!!

  • Adam Pack

    I actually prefer ‘climate change’ to ‘global warming’, because apparently some idiots don’t understand the word ‘global’, and will say things like ‘if there’s global warming, how come I have this snowball’ (they will then say ‘derp derp derp EMAILGHAZI’, because that is what idiots like to do).

    • Oginikwe

      “Climate chaos” seems a better term to me.

      • Adam Pack

        Or ‘ohshitohshitohshit we’re all going to die’, which is what I call it in my head. While I’m hiding under my desk, crying.

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