It’s been five years since President Obama signed the Affordable Care Act — aka Obamacare, aka The Just Like Hitler Health Plan To Socialize America To Death, aka Romneycare but without abortion coverage, aka the health insurance reforms as originally imagined by the conservative “think tank” the Heritage Foundation — into law. Don’t bother looking out your window to see if the world has ended yet; we already checked for you and, against all odds, we’re still here.
And Republicans are still promising to repeal the ACA and replace it with … well, never you mind, they’ll figure that part out later. After their sweeping victory in the 2014 election, John Boehner and Mitch McConnell swore that once they ruled the House and Senate and could show those obstructionist Democrats how Real Grown-ups Really Do Leadershipping, they’d focus on jobs and the economy, by “renewing our commitment to repeal ObamaCare, which is hurting the job market along with Americans’ health care.”
Last week, House Republicans revealed their new budget fantasy, in which they promised — again — to repeal Obamamcare, because those first 56 times didn’t count, everything is different now, since Mitch McConnell is in charge of the Senate and doing a real bang-up job of Getting Things Done and telling those weenie Democrats who’s in charge and what is what.
Never mind that Obamacare has been a success, if you consider expanded access to health care for millions of previously uninsured Americans a success, which you should because it is. Or if you consider it A Good Thing that people are saving money thanks to reforms in the ACA, like in Oklahoma, where Medicare recipients have saved around $191 million on their meds, which doesn’t suck.
But only a selfish bastard who hates America and freedom would want to save money on health care. Real patriots refuse to purchase health insurance if it means President Obama made that opportunity available to them: like Sheriff Richard Mack, who loves America so much, he refused to purchase insurance and would be drowning in all those medical bills he and his ill wife have accumulated if not for dirty liberals donating money to him on the internet.
Maybe the Beg For Money On The Internet Act of 2015 will be the Republicans’ plan to replace Obamacare, which they swear they’ll have any day now. Really. Honest to heck. It’s just that they’ve had to spend so much time suing over Obamacare, and voting dozens of times to repeal it, and warning us about how it will kill us all (especially our grandmas and Sarah Palin’s children), and trying to find sob stories from people whose lives have been destroyed by Obamacare — except for how that has yet to be true even a single time, WEIRD.
But they’re going to get on that SO soon, just you wait and see. How soon? Soon soon!
“Committees are continuing to work on that and I’m sure we’re gonna see one soon,” House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) told reporters on Thursday when asked if there’s a Republican replacement to Obamacare.
“How soon?” a reporter pressed.
“I think we’ll see one soon,” the Speaker reiterated.
“One that covers 16 million people?”
Boehner didn’t answer. He quickly moved on.
Meanwhile, the president issued a statement pointing and laughing at John Boehner and his non-answer about his non-plan:
Today, tens of millions of Americans with pre-existing conditions are no longer at risk of being denied coverage. Women no longer have to worry about being charged more just for being women. Millions of young people have been able to stay on their parents’ plan until they turn 26. More than 9 million seniors and people with disabilities have saved an average of $1,600 per person on their prescription medicine, over $15 billion in all since the Affordable Care Act became law. More than 70 million Americans have gained access to preventive care, including contraceptive services, with no additional out-of-pocket costs. And the law has helped improve the quality of health care: it’s a major reason we saw 50,000 fewer preventable patient deaths in hospitals over the last three years of data.
But the Republican replacement plan will probably do all of that and EVEN MORE. Just as soon as they come up with one. Soon. They promise.