SHARE

Angry-baby-Givenchy

Parents these days are so sensitive. A celebrity chef’s new baby food book has been pulled from publication just because it has the slight side effect of possibly killing babies. Do these people not get how the free market works?

Your Wonkette has profiled Pete Evans before. He’s a teevee chef from the Land Down Under who believes that the paleo diet can stop kids from getting autism. Remember it doesn’t take a lot of credentials to cook on camera. It also apparently doesn’t take a lot of credentials to get a parenting book published because Evans was all set to release a new kids’ cookbook soon, and he only gave it the most vomit-inducing title we could imagine: Bubba Yum Yum: The Paleo Way. That noise you hear is the sound of your internal organs shriveling up and dry heaving.

Evans’ problems began when the Public Health Association of Australia was tipped off to some of the health advice in his book, specifically a recipe for DIY baby formula made of chicken liver and bone broth. You see, Evans and his co-authors, mommyblogger Charlotte Carr and naturopath Helen Padarin, believe that regular baby formula, i.e. the substance scientifically designed in sterile conditions to be as close to real breast milk as humanly possible, is too full of chemicals for their liking. They recommend tossing out that nasty “science” stuff and making your own baby formula right in your filthy kitchen. That’s all well and good, right up until health experts discovered their recipe has the tiny problem of “a toxic level of Vitamin A.” Oh dear.

“In my view, there’s a very real possibility that a baby may die if this book goes ahead,” said Heather Yeatman, president of the Public Health Association of Australia.

The formula reportedly contains more than 10 times the safe maximum intake of vitamin A and unsuitable levels of other nutrients for babies. Experts are concerned that parents will falsely believe it is a safe alternative to breast milk.

But what would those experts know? Do they have a teevee show? I think not.

Unfortunately for Evans and fortunately for babies, Bubba Yum Yum (hork) has been pulled by the publisher before it even shipped. Though it does seem even the authors knew their book of fad dietry was full of bunk, since they had the wherewithal to put this disclaimer in the back of the book:

Although we in good faith believe that the information provided will help you live a healthier life, relying on the information contained in this publication may not give you the results you desire or may cause negative health consequences.

This stuff is great for your health, right up until it doesn’t work or hurts you, which might be the best description of fad diets we’ve ever read.

[Special Broadcasting Service / Time]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Beowoof14

    Bullshit from a TV chef, well yeah, that’s part of the job description. Went to Emeril’s place in New Orleans once, it was okay but wouldn’t go out of my way to go back again. Now K-Paul’s Louisiana Kitchen, I line up every time I am in New Orleans..
    And the Paleo diet, more BS, hard to imagine.

  • Tallmutha

    Is there any way to promulgate the theory that voting Republican will make your kids autistic? Because that may be all some people will listen to.

    • MrCanoehead

      There seems to be a statistically significant link between voting Republican and mild mental retardation, but nothing on autism. Sorry.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Correlation is not causation, but in this case I’m pretty sure that one of those things leaves you predisposed to the other.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …wait, you mean that doesn’t work?!?!

  • It’s my right as a man to have babies, then feed them a quack diet that kills them. Incidentally, do you have any Larks’ tongues, wrens’ livers or jaguars’ earlobes for sale?

    • Blank Ron

      Would you settle for peacock spleens? I have extra.

  • Dolmance

    Fermented milk and cow’s blood, eaten while watching old boxing films of Ernie Shavers and Pinklon Thomas, and alternating between hard core pornography from the 70s.

    This is the sort of input that makes a child succeed in the new world we’ve created for them, and fuck the autism. Who cares if they’re autistic? Doesn’t matter.

    Peace… God bless…

    • kindness

      Pubic hair Libelz!!!!!!

  • Land Shark

    I got your paleo diet right here!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Baby Yum Yum? Only if they’re cooked properly.

    • gedjcj

      Infant Tartare libel!

    • spacecat in space

      I prefer them with extra guacamole.

  • schmannity

    Chicken liver and bone broth? Worst crime fighting porn stars ever.

  • eggsacklywright

    And chef Ramsey says: If you’re going to follow the Neanderthal diet, you need fuckin’ passion! Without fuckin’ passion, it doesn’t mean fuckall, yes? C’mon guys, show me the fuckin’ passion!

    • Blank Ron

      At which, Ug bonks Chef Ramsey over the head with a club and tosses him in the pot…

      • kindness

        Neanderthals had pots? Well, sure, the weed variety but actual pots? Me no think so. More likely they put the good chef on a spit and threw him on the fire.

        • Blank Ron

          Yeah, I know, but I was in too much of a hurry to double-check my paleontology this morning.

  • beatbort

    That disclaimer is a classic: “we in good faith believe that the information provided will help you live a healthier life”. Stop right there. They can say, “We said will help YOU live a healthier life, we didn’t say help YOUR BABY live a healthier life, or even live a life at all.” Seems casual at first glance, but you know some sleazy lawyer helped craft it. Sleazy lawyer: “That’ll cover your ass. We all know babies can’t read disclaimers anyway…”

  • beatbort

    My next book: “The Beer and Cigarette Diet (Will Help You Write Like Charles Bukowski)”.

    • SnarkOff

      I prefer the Hemingway diet.

      • beatbort

        Does that include the shotgun for dessert?

        • Blank Ron

          It’s the Hemingway to go, baby!

    • Toomush_Infer

      I prefer the Keroac diet, with a mixture of grain alcohol and delicately smoked herbs…

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Did widdle baby Evans make a messy poo poo in his itty bitty
    bookums? Yes he did! Yes he did!

    *gag*

  • First hit on the Google says “Paleolithic skeletons indicated a life expectancy of 35.4 years for men and 30.0 years for women, which includes a high rate of infant mortality.” But I bet they had hardly any autism.

  • dshwa

    Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble
    Formula burn and formula bubble.

  • SnarkOff

    This is just slightly worse than idiot pet owners who feed their dogs a vegan diet.

    • “We taught a lion to eat tofu!”
      Lion: *wheeze*

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Lion: “Can I just have five minutes alone with these idiots?”

    • kindness

      I had one of those friends back in the 80s. You don’t know how bad I wanted to sneak his (great) dogs a couple beef ribs.

    • Truthiness2U

      It’s the cat owners who try and make fluffy a vegan, that really piss me off. I would say what part of obligate carnivore, don’t they understand? but then I’m like, oh right, all of it Katie.

  • Iron Monkey

    “It also apparently doesn’t take a lot of credentials to get a parenting book published”

    Or to be an expert on autism–cook on TeeVee, get yer boobs out for Playboy, it’s all good.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    I can’t wait for Bill O’Reilly’s new book, “Killing Yuppies”.

  • docterry6973

    But what if he has a sincere religious belief in overdosing babbies on vitamin A?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Doesn’t matter. He’s from a sane country.

      • Blank Ron

        There’s still sane countries? Who’d’a thunk it?

  • RumAddled

    Well as long as they don’t vaccinate them.

  • Sheesko

    I am so over Australians, just in general.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Except the supermodels. Don’t throw out the supermodels with the bath water.

  • Paperless Tiger

    I agree. Megadose of vitamin A is toxic for many people, although it seems to be standard in supplements. There exists a profound misunderstanding of human metabolism, and not just in the Paleo fad diet. Cow milk, for example, is also toxic for a lot of people. This is characterized as lactose intolerance, but it is not really a defect. It is an evolutionary type of human that is not adapted to metabolize cow milk.

    • Skwerl King

      The Iron Hoof of the American Dairy Association has been grazing on our liberties for years.

    • Lex Luthor

      Yes, I suppose it is rather ethnocentric to call it lactose intolerance, since European and West African people are generally the only ones who retain the ability to digest lactose in adulthood. The aberration is the lactose tolerance (“lactase persistence”) in societies with long histories of milk-drinking, not the inability to digest milk sugar, which is common in adult mammals.

    • Sharkey

      OK, but there’s no way I’m giving up Bailey’s.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Babbies have always been able to metabolize lactose. It’s the persistence of this capacity into adulthood that’s recently evolved.

  • Skwerl King

    Let me guess, babies get no dairy products in the Paleo DIE-t because humans did not drink milk.

    • FauxAntocles

      Milk is the worst thing for baby mammals!

      • Msgr_Moment

        Brawndo has what toddlers crave.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        It’s not like the entire class of creatures is named for it or anything.

        • docterry6973

          Well that is just what those ‘scientists’ say.

  • Enfant Terrible

    Sure, the “experts” say that chicken liver and beef broth can be bad for your little ones. But what does Food Babe have to say?

    • Virginia Dreaming

      That depends on which side is paying her.

  • Msgr_Moment

    “We are sorry if anyone was offended by the contents of this book.”

    • Gleem-McShinez

      “It was only meant as a satirical recipe, such as and so forth”

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    We could get rid of all these fad diets in one fell swoop if Obama would just endorse them.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Obama declaring that they’re a really, really bad idea might also get rid of certain problems.

  • Dr.Zoidberg

    Eh, who needs babies anyway.

  • Toomush_Infer

    If only he would try out the bile recipe I’ve prescribed for him….

  • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

    The Public Health Association of Australia is interfering with potential future Darwin Award winners.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Both Fred and Alley agree: feed this putz to Bam-Bam….

  • Randy Riddle

    How about a few good words for leeches and bloodletting?

    • Axomamma

      Leeches are in fact a very useful weapon in the medical arsenal. Don’t be lumping them in with the truly crazy.

      • Randy Riddle

        Unfortunately, the leeches we have the NC state legislature aren’t as useful.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          That’s because you aren’t grinding them up and extracting their spittle.
          Do that, and I’m sure things will improve considerably.

  • AntiDerpomeme

    Blerg, if “Bubba Yum Yum” is the best a guy can do for titling a book, don’t expect it to be packed with a lot of high-falutin’ fancy writin’ or that elitist science and nutrition crap.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Look, I agree this book was out-of-line. It is satire, after all. But don’t the babies have a personal responsibility to look out for their own well-being? Why should Big Oz stick its nose into family decisions?

    Edit: I just realized it’s the Nanny State in action!!!!!!11.11.!!.1!

    • Rick Hill

      I think that we should wait till they are old enough to make an informed decision on their own before we start forcing our dietary ideologies on them.

  • Jason M

    Incidentally, “Bubba Yum Yum” will now be my stage name when I realize my lifelong dream of becoming a performing ladyboy in Thailand.

  • Tendernob

    What’s with all the pseudo-science Australian chef scandals lately? First this chick who claimed her diet cured her (fake) cancer, and now this guy.

    • bobbert

      Gah. I have two friends who are, right now, going through the chemo and radiation tango for brain tumors. What a piece of shit this woman is. (Oh, and worried about her privacy).

      • anniegetyerfun

        My mom just got done with her radiation. When she was first diagnosed, certain family members thought it might be a good idea to talk to her about an all-juice diet that would be even better for her than chemo. Fortunately, my mother is not A IDIOT.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Australians are just like Americans, only harder to understand, and with fewer guns.

    • Josh Finlay

      Have you ever heard of evolution? Maybe you should just keep eating your oats, rice and bread. Stuff that, incidentally, has only been around for 10,000 years.

  • Bared Bear

    but if they’re demon babies (i.e., gay babies) then jesus approves of smiting them early.

  • Mavenmaven

    The paleo diet, bringing us back to the days when infant mortality was over 50%

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Also pulled from the publishing list: Yummo, Yummo, Babby Chewy, Childcare the Natural Way by A. Dingo. We’ll get that infant mortality rate above 50% or die trying.

      • pollosmoky

        Currently on Cheryl Tunt’s top 10 list of baby shower gifts!

    • Josh Finlay

      You’re an idiot. Infant mortality wasn’t 50% because of the diet they ate. It was so high because of the rate of infection, the risk of predation and the scarcity of food and water. Get your facts straight.

      • Platos_Redhaired_Stepchild

        “Recent estimates suggest that malnutrition (measured as poor anthropometric status) is associated with about 50% of all deaths among children. Although the association between malnutrition and all-cause mortality is well documented, the malnutrition-related risk of death associated with specific diseases is less well described. We reviewed published literature to examine the evidence for a relation between malnutrition and child mortality from diarrhoea, acute respiratory illness, malaria and measles, conditions that account for over 50% of deaths in children worldwide.”

        LIke these facts?

        http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11100616

        • Josh Finlay

          This is modern child mortality rates you dimwit!

  • Lex Luthor

    The crazy thing about this is that the real paleo diet would be breastfeeding your kid to age 4 or 5. Ok, it’s not the only crazy thing about it. http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/explainer/2012/05/time_magazine_breast_feeding_cover_how_nursing_worked_in_prehistoric_times_.html

    • pluky

      Problem there is that mommy would have to be carrying sufficient body fat to support prolonged lactation. There are reasons why the Venus of Willensdorf had her proportions.

    • mtn_philosoph

      So simple, even a caveman cavewoman could do it.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I think we’ve settled by now that if you believe something in good faith, its truth doesn’t matter.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The Hobby Lobby decision is proof positive of this.

  • Charismatic_dairy_goats

    I was very worried for a baby I never met, when I was in the checkout line at Whole Foods and heard the following:
    Young Blonde Mom dressed in height of fashion: “Is it safe to give soy milk to a baby?”
    Whole Foods Cashier with dreads: “Sure!”
    Who needs pediatricians, nurses, or dietitians, when the Whole Foods cashiers are so willing to give great advice on infant nutrition, free of charge? Plus they don’t waste your time by asking how old your baby is, what other foods you give it, any known allergies, or any other health context information. Cashiers are definitely the ones with the answers.

    • Ergoetal

      “Cashiers are definitely the ones with the answers.”
      Yes, right. Because they’re the ones with the money. And the ones with the money are the ones with the answers.

    • pluky

      No!!! Nowhere near enough calcium.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        That’s what the bone broth is for.

        • pluky

          I was referring to the soy milk (unless fortified). Even bone broth might not do it though. One would have to seriously acidify the broth to break down the hydroxyapatite thereby releasing the calcium into solution. Bottom line, breast feed!

  • Greg Comlish

    I could not be happier that the Paleo community has finally produced somebody who is not only doctrinaire, moronic, and dangerous, but is also a preening fame whore who craves attention and is completely oblivious to the damage his message is doing to his cause. The Paleo movement has its very own Sarah Palin.

    • anniegetyerfun

      I was on a Paleo-esque diet a few years back (and honestly, it was great; I’m diabetic and it controlled my blood sugars amazingly. While I am off it now because I’m fucking knocked up, I fully intend to go back on it again as soon as this little bastard is born; also, it’s obvs not for babbies). Anyway, I went on the diet (prescribed and supervised by a physician) before the term “Paleo” went all mainstream, and I was thrilled to see that it was taking hold – that is, until I realized that literally every website that I came across that promoted the same diet was literally a side-project for a Men’s Rights nutjob. Because in addition to loving meat, these dudes seriously wish that they lived in a time where it was legal* to club a woman over the head and drag her back to a cave for sexy time.
      *Most likely legal in some states.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Initially, all a caveman had to do was go out and club a mastodon to death and drag the carcass back to the clan, and the caveladies would all be swooning over him.

        Then some proto-mra asshole figured out a shortcut: just club the ladies. 80,000 years later, we still call them neanderthals.

  • Well, if you’re trying to mimic the Paleo experience, this book would have given you one: A high infant mortality rate. Of course, the societal benefit would have been to prevent people who believe in this from passing their genes on.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      You don’t have to kill yourself to get a Darwin Award… bumping off your kids earns equal credit.

  • anniegetyerfun

    High protein diets can help in treating severe seizures in children. Did this guy read about that and get “epilepsy” confused with “autism”? Are the words pronounced the same in an Australian accent? I know they don’t have as many vowels as we North Americans do.

    • Whollyholeyholy

      I am pretty sure there is a kid in my child’s class whose parents are pretending does not have autism, instead attempting to rebrand it as food allergies and try to cure some noteworthy behavioral quirks with a restricted diet.

      • anniegetyerfun

        Food allergies are the new delayed vaccination schedule. (I am not mocking but allergies; those are serious)

        • Whollyholeyholy

          Agreed. Serious allergies are serious, and I feel terrible for kids or adults dealing with them. It’s like the Industrial Revolution never happened when preparing food in some of those houses–I guess we’re full circle on Paleo diet!

  • Whollyholeyholy

    Well, at least they were going to feed the little things instead of starving and ignoring newborns a la BabyWise.

  • Me not sure

    Shut up and eat yer yak!

  • Beware: the baby-killer book will soon be available as an ebook.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Does Amazon give half a crap about the books they peddle? Maybe they could be discouraged from even carrying this trash.

  • tihond

    Are fat babies a huge problem?

    • pluky

      Actually, infants are supposed to lay on a good bit of body fat early on. We are born relatively lean (need to fit the escape hatch!), but require a reservoir to draw during the growth spurts up to the toddler stage.

  • I’m pretty sure that babies in the wild regularly kill birds and eat their livers.

  • boll ocks

    Hey there, I’m aware I’m necroposting. Just wanted to say that I’ve never seen a site that agrees with my political views and also takes these super-hippie anti-vaxxer and paleo idiots to task the way you guys do, so I am expressing my admiration and my support. Also for the simply hilarious one-liners that you appear to regularly deliver, thanks!!!!!

Previous articleNew York School Profanes American Flag With Arabic Pledge, Burn It All Down!
Next articleTennessee Church: Know Who Else Wanted Equal Rights? SATAN!