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Good job, anti-vaxxers

Don’t you love when science confirms what you already knew in your gut because it is just so obvious? Of course you do, you smug self-righteous liberal, and so do we! Of course we were already blaming anti-vaxxers for bringing back measles and spreading them around Disneyland, but a fresh new study confirms that yup, is it definitely scientifically their fault, so let’s blame them even harder now:

Although epidemiologists have not yet identified the person who brought measles to Disneyland, a new analysis shows that the highly contagious disease has spread to seven states and two other countries thanks to parents who declined to vaccinate their children.

Oh, like these parents who believe it is OK to just “meditate” on it and assume Little Junior has a strong immune system, so what’s the worst that can happen? (The worst that can happen is Little Junior gets a completely preventable disease and dies from it, dummies.)

So how did scientists figure out that it is fine and good to blame these anti-vaxxer types for giving Mickey Mouse a formerly eradicated disease? Magic? Witchcraft? Nope!

Using some simple math, a team of infectious disease experts calculated that the vaccination rate among people who were exposed to the measles during the outbreak was no higher than 86%, and it might have been as low as 50%.

In order to establish herd immunity, between 96% and 99% of the population must be vaccinated, experts say.

The researchers did a whole bunch of calculations and science stuff, and you can read all their qualifications — MIT is a podunk safety school, right? — if you must, but here’s the bottom line:

the only way to explain how the measles spread from a single person at Disneyland to 145 people in the U.S. and about a dozen others in Canada and Mexico is that a substantial number of parents have not had their children fully immunized with the measles, mumps and rubella vaccine.

“Clearly, MMR vaccination rates in many of the communities that have been affected by this outbreak fall well below the necessary threshold to sustain herd immunity, thus placing the greater population at risk as well,” the researchers concluded.

So yes, anti-vaxxers, you are officially to blame for this particular outbreak. Thanks so much. Please do continue listening to your favorite quack doctors, like “Dr. Bob,” who tell you it is all right to not vaccinate your kids if it makes you feel better, just let other parents worry about vaccinating their kids to protect your kids, you selfish bastards.

It is in fact NOT fine, and you are rotten parents and rotten people — and yes, we will keep calling you names, even if you think that is “racist,” which it is not, and you are extra dumb for thinking that too — until you stop trying to argue with science, stop diseases with your dumb, and stop putting entire communities, including the Magic Kingdom, at risk.

As we have already yelled, in all caps and with many exclamation points, JUST VACCINATE YOUR KIDS, DAMNIT!!! Because everyone is going to keep yelling at you and calling you names and blaming you for making America sick, because it is all your fault and science proves it, until you do.

[L.A. Times via Think Progress]

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  • Nounverb911

    ..

    • jviscont1

      and his potential hearing loss will allow him to not hear a word they ever say.

  • dslindc

    I avoid not having to vaccinate my damn kids by not having damn kids in the first place, but those of you with damn kids should definitely vaccinate your damn kids.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Has science discovered yet the “self-destruction gene” that abides in us like ISIS or the Goths and Visigoths who destroyed Rome and brought on a thousand years of anti-civilization?….’cause I wonder if that isn’t important…..

    • Lizzietish81
      • Villago Delenda Est

        Do keep in mind, however, that Michelle Bachmann once said that the Renaissance was “a mistake”.

        • Lizzietish81
          • Villago Delenda Est

            Well from a strictly European perspective (which is the only valid perspective there is, so in your face John Green!) it was a thing.

            As long as we understand and take into account the framing, it’s cool. John’s “Dark Ages” piece makes it abundantly clear that the ages were dark pretty much solely from the perspective of the Eurocentric.

          • Lizzietish81

            But even from a European Perspective it wasn’t a thing, it’s more of a historical bias view, in the same way “The Dark Ages” are.

        • BackDoorMan

          I thought she meant the Renaissance Fair, because Marcus looked terrible in the Maid Marion costume.

      • Toomush_Infer

        Yeah, still pretty devastating to earlier basin thought…

      • Virginia Dreaming

        So basically, the European dark ages weren’t so bad, unless you were a serf, then it was pretty much like being a slave in the American south?

        • Lizzietish81

          Well no since the landlord couldn’t sell your children, in fact compared to most forms of slavery in history, Atlantic Slave Trade Slavery was fucking horrific

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ajn9g5Gsv98

          • Virginia Dreaming

            Thanks, as weird as it seems my college chemistry department actively tried to keep us from taking any history or literature courses. We used to joke they were afraid of losing majors. So I really am learning from these from you and these videos.

          • Lizzietish81

            My college was big on everyone taking something in every department. Also I’m a big nerd with a broad range.

            eta: The World History video on Atlantic Slavery is actually more about the horrific conditions endured by slaves.

          • Virginia Dreaming

            I have to admit not thinking about it much, until I took my mandatory world history course and one of the students keep asking the professor over and over (i.e. almost every class period) why there was nothing about women’s roles in ancient history. Finally one day he said, “look history is written by the winners. In most ancient societies men were in “control” and to keep that control they had to minimize women. So you won’t hear much about women until a society advanced far enough for physical strength to be less important.” That has always stuck with me. And so I do try to be a thoughtful listener to history and politics. But for most of my life studying enzymatic pathways and visualizing how molecules fit together has taken most of my mental energy. Then it was teaching others to see those things.

          • Lizzietish81

            John Green does a good job of getting away from what he calls “Great Man History”, interestingly I’m reading a book on the Indus Valley (recommended in his video on the Indus Valley Civilization) and there’s evidence that they and the Neolithic culture that proceeded it were pretty egalitarian, even matriarchal.

          • Blank Ron

            The more I read about history, the more I think Devo had it right…

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QKBA-tmwjI

          • BackDoorMan

            Thank you. I’ve been a fan of John Green ever since I saw the first link you posted. Fascinating series.

          • Lizzietish81

            Also the Crash Course videos are great, Hank (the guy who does sci show) hosts the more science related ones and yes, they are brothers.

    • Lizzietish81
      • Virginia Dreaming

        Actually, I am terrified of a giant man-eating squirrel. I mean, Trump could potentially do a lot of damage.

    • Anarchy Pony

      The period was very civilized, in that indigenous people were constantly murdered for their land and peasants were oppressed and exploited.

  • Anarchy Pony

    Science confirms the obvious.

  • chicken thief

    Ok, science… studies… probability… yadda yadda yadda. I’ll just leave you with this – Jesus didn’t get vaccinated.

    BOO-YAH!111!!!1!!!!

    • Lizzietish81

      I heard it was a false flag by Obama to make us look like selfish morons.

      • nanuq1

        You mean Mormons.

    • he was vaccified, on a vaccifix, by vaccifiers.

    • Virginia Dreaming

      But he only lived to be 33.

      • chicken thief

        But he set up Israel so Bibi could take over and founded our great nation that we can protect from it from them brown and red and blah people. Pretty good in such a small amount of time.

    • But didn’t Jesus die of tetanus from a nail? He should have gotten vaccinated!

  • Lizzietish81

    Meanwhile babies, children with compromised immune systems and pregnant women will continue to be at risk because of your poor decisions. Assholes.

    • Wait — you don’t want transplant patients like me (who can’t get measles boosters becase teh ills) to be able to play Measles Roulette every time we head to a theme park? Bummer! Oh wait…

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Well, like you say, duh. Of course so much of the country just fell off a turnip truck, it seems.

    I despair as we watch the last few trees on Easter Island be cut down in order to move some giant stone heads around (with bad toupees on them…see Rand Paul and The Donald) before we all drown because the Antarctic ice is melting at an alarming rate but gosh it must be a hoax because Boston is buried in snow!

    • whatwhomever

      And Senator Inhofe had a snowball on the senate floor!

  • chicken thief

    Ok fancy schmancy scientists with letters and all after your names – were there any outbreaks of measles at Disneyland before Hillary set up her secret email accounts?!

    BOOM SO STFU NERDY NUMBER SCIENTISTS AND WAKE UP SHEEPLEZ!!11!!!!

    • Land Shark

      I thought the BENGHAZI!!1!!! operation was to destroy the Big Pharma/Agenda 21 planning documents ….

  • Virginia Dreaming

    What kind of a person would try to cure their gay child, but not protect them from measles?

    • blaid droog

      a kristian?

    • Logic of Color

      Actually the anti-vaxxers are often educated liberal types. Weird, I know.

      • Virginia Dreaming

        There are plenty of rich, white, liberal anti-vaxxers. But there are quite a few are who are also pretty homophobic as well.

  • chicken thief

    See. Mickey has the measles and he’s still smiling.

    ~ Jenny M

    • Mehmeisterjr

      “If Donald has the bird flu and Goofy has rabies, we are all fucked,” said Snow White.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Tangentially on-topic: Vladimir Putin was out of sight for about ten days. One of the ruors was that he had the flu? Does that mean that Putin is an anti-vaxxer? (Asking for a tovarich.)

    • Logic of Color

      I heard he has “Coup”

    • Lizzietish81

      I think he was having his brain transplanted into a healthier body by a mad scientist.

    • chicken thief

      Schock resigns and Putin ‘disappears’ for a few days… I’m not going to suggest that the two incidents are related, but it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  • schmannity

    Can we still storm the factories and break up the machines or is that against “science” too?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The Luddites get such a bad rap. They were not so much anti-technology as they were anti-asshole capitalist.

      • Anarchy Pony

        What they were was anti technology that would destroy their livelihood.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          True dat. They could read the writing on the wall. But, hey, I’m sure some of them found new jobs fixing treddels.

          • Blank Ron

            Why, was one of the fly rods out of skew again?

  • Spotts1701

    “But science is pocket of Big Pharma, so why should we listen to it?” – condensed anti-vaxxer response

  • dshwa

    For those who like to read nerdy things, Incognito, The Secret Lives of the Brain has an excellent section on why people believe stupid and easily disproven conspiracy theories. It helps me not go crazy thinking about how dumb you have to be not to vaccinate your kids.

  • laineypc

    See once again our hard earned taxes at work doing dumb stuff like confirming things we already know.

  • TheBidenator

    Oh sure you just want people to vaccinate their kids because it’s some sort of post-birth abortion conspiracy to bring about UN Agenda 21 and make us servile to racoons who have been seeking to conquer us ever since they saw Davey Crockett’s cap. Why do you hate America, Kaili Joy Gray?

  • JustPixelz

    All I can do is write a deleted comment (if those are even allowed).

    You libtards like to pretend to know everything but you DON’T. Big Pharma wants to control OUR BODIES with poisons and forced injections. WAKE UP! Since HITLER started mandatory vaccinations, thousands of helpless children have been diagnosed with AUTOPSY! Stop spewing hate and intolerance you ignorant SHEEP.

    Whaddya think Dok?

    • Bitter Scribe

      I can’t speak for Dok, but “diagnosed with autopsy” is what really sells it for me.

      • nanuq1

        That’s usually fatal.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Not if you take Hucksterbee’s Dietary Supplement.

    • Nuke90210

      Wow….I’d like to say that’s a troll but with these idiots there’s no way to tell. I’m scared.

    • JAWs

      You could just do a cut&paste of the idiocy on display in the comment section of the LA Times. Reading just a few of those shows that we apparently need to start immunization against stupidity as well, since the anti-vaxxers seemed determined to spread that around too

      • Blank Ron

        Oh, if you could develop a vaccine against stupidity you’d have Banting, Best and Pauling rising from their graves to shake your hand…

    • doktorzoom

      “A” for content and all caps, “C-” for spelling, which is too frequently correct.

    • Me not sure

      Do vaccines cause libtard too? Daisy, daisy, giiive meeee yerrrrr answeeeeer doooo…………..

  • JAWs

    I’ve said this before, but it still surprises me that this is an issue in two thousand mutha fuckin fifteen! Maybe next we could “debate” such other contemporary curiosities, like whether portraits steal your soul, or if the metric system is a tool of Satan.

    • Fun with Cthulhu

      There is no debate, the answers are Yes and Hell Yes, respectively.

  • Me not sure

    Disneyland! Best homeschooling day ever! Then sick days!

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