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molotov and la hymie!

We come not to bury Bristol Palin, recently affianced betrothed of some guy, but to be really happy for her. Seriously! Not even kidding! Sure, she’s dumb and mean, and her Medal of Honor-winning soldier-person guy is also kind of dumb and mean (judging by this, where he is accidentally eye-fuc-ed by his new fiancee’s mom), but we have seen the men Bristol used to put her vagina on, and we wouldn’t wish them on … Bristol Palin.

So we met Dakota Meyers, Medal of Honor-winning manly guy, with Sarah Palin, being a dick. And we heard he and Bristol were dating a few weeks ago, from alert people with nothing better to do than monitor their Instagram feeds. (That’s cool! Keep those tips coming! What, you want US to monitor random Palins’ pitcher-pages? We do not love you that much.) And now, after two months, they are engaged! We have absolutely zero problem with this. And if it turns out they will welcome another little Palin angel in seven months’ time, we have absolutely zero problem with that too! Let Bristol be Bristol, by which we mean “putting her vagina on people and then pretending she is a virgin.” Fuck dudes, think about what she had to grow up with. Cut the girl some vagina-putting-on-people slack!

Anyhoo, that’s pretty much all we have to say about that, except that we really are happy for Bristol Palin finding a cute, manly guy who is super into her and wants to maaaaarry her, because we are good liberals who are happy even for terrible people when they find love and peace, and we leave being shitty about others’ joy to bad people who have desiccated lumps of dogshit where their humanity should be.

(Which is probably you, in the comments. Don’t think we don’t know you. WE DO.)

$
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  • Lizzietish81

    Good thing you don’t allow comments then.

  • Squirrels05

    Just leave Michael Moore alone, Dakota.

    • Lizzietish81

      My 19 year old cousin had no idea who Micheal Moore was.

      • Baby_Raptor

        Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

        • Lizzietish81

          I’m not sure, but at the time it made me feel old

          • gedjcj

            And AC/DC was the Muzack at the dealership while my Prius was in for service.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Meh. Mazel Tov, you crazy kids.

  • Beowoof14

    Man if she is claiming to be a virgin, she must have a sore ass and full tummy to get this guy.

  • Squirrels05

    May Dakota Meyers keep his soon to be wife off television for the rest of their lives together.
    Allah Akbar !

    • georgiaburning

      good luck with that, the splt in the deal is already written into the pre-nup

  • SnarkOff

    Bristol -n- Dakota: A marriage made in White Trash Name heaven.

    • exinkwretch

      Even money the best man is named either Cody or Travis.

      • MrBlobfish

        All the bridesmaids are named Caitlin.

        • NellCote71

          I am so disappointed. The proper spelling is Katelynn or Catelyn or any variation of the real spelling.

          • MrBlobfish

            Well, it is Alaska. They may even spell it with no vowels.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Bristol and Dakota. Any bets on whether their kids all end up with place names, too?

    • Lizzietish81

      Maybe they’re named after where they were conceived

      • “Howdy, I’m Shed.”

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Pleased to meet you, Shed. I’m ThefiftyyardlineduringthehalftimeoftheRoseBowlgame.

          • “I’m in a ditch. Wanna fuck?”

          • MrCanoehead

            It’s spelled Eminaditch Vannafuk. It’s Russian.

          • Gleem-McShinez

            That’s some rearing you did, Putin’s Head!

          • Steve Zakszewski

            “I can see Eminaditch from my front porch!”

          • TRUE FACT: All Russians are conceived in ditches, but not all ditches are full of fucking Russians.

            Most Alaskan ditches are actually full of drunk Palins humping to death whatever poor dumb thing that happened to stumble in, kind of like the La Brea Tar Pits, only with more Mad Dog 20/20 and STDs.

        • Lizzietish81

          Finally Arthur “Two Sheds” Jackson makes sense.

        • SnarkOff

          “Hi, Shed. I’m Wasted.”

          • “If I had a dime for every Wasted moment that I experienced in a Shed…”

      • memzilla

        Why would you curse a kid with a name like Backseat or Campground?

        • Toomush_Infer

          Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?”…

          • Fun with Cthulhu

            My favourite punchline of all time!

          • fredoandme

            a classic!!!

      • Gleem-McShinez

        “Hi, I’m Indy Butt Palin.

        Look, don’t ask. My mom can claim virginity after having a baby. We don’t question it.”

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        “Tent Meyers” does have a certain panache.

        • kindness

          And if she can’t quite figure out which room it was she can just name the demon spawn
          Rugburn.

    • schmannity

      Pierre Dakota, but they pronounce it like Como, not Fishing.

    • Steve Zakszewski

      Naw, my money’s on Zima and then Xanax, in honor of Mama Grizzled errrr Gristly errrr Grizzly.

  • memzilla

    I assume the wedding will be catered by Heisenberg & Pinkman.

  • Fartknocker

    I like the Meyers name. It reminds me of a manufactured food product sometimes termed as tube steak, which I am sure Bristol enjoys, being a patriot and American. And pharmaceuticals, since she has some experience with that.

      • OneYieldRegular

        True story: I got thrown out of 2nd grade for talking about that truck in a rude way in class – clearly a precipitating event that put me on the path to commenting on Wonkette.

        • Bitter Scribe

          Dave Barry once rode in it with a couple of young female Oscar Mayer employees and said they got lots of clever innuendo shouted at them by male drivers. He added: “MEMO TO THESE MEN: You should hear what gets said about you inside the Wienermobile.”

          He left that up to the reader’s imagination, but I would imagine it had something to do with cocktail franks.

        • Is there a non-rude way to talk about a giant wiener on wheels in 2nd grade? Were you homeschooled by vegetarian nuns?

          Speaking of which, in college I dated a girl who drove that giant wiener as a summer job, which was/is a very popular and hard to get position. Ironically, she was a virgin who’d never seen a wieiner.

          (Emphasis on “was”… *high fives self*)

      • FauxAntocles

        Idiots! You have to go slower than that.

        • ThatDale

          That’s what she said.

      • Gleem-McShinez

        Assuming Shed Palin (from your other comment) is a boy, apparently this is photographic evidence (using Third Eagle of The Apocalypse methods) prophesying that he’ll turn out gay.

        “Weiner stuck in Shed”
        WAKE UP FUTURE SHEEPLE!

        • Can’t be our friend Shed – the giant wiener plowed into his front door.

          • Gleem-McShinez

            Obviously, then: Shed is a trans! Or, will be.

            DAMN YOU TIME TRAVEL TRANSMAKER OBAMA

      • BackDoorMan

        Was Paul Ryan driving again?

    • Toomush_Infer

      So….Dakota originally (acc. Wiki) meant “friend”…….”my tubestick friend”?….sounds about right….

  • borninatrailer

    Good God, I had not seen that pic before. Grandma Palin is giving an eye fucking like she just swam around that pool in Cocoon.

  • Wild Cat

    Well, an eye-fucking is needed for Bristol. It’s the only orfice she hasn’t yet used as an errogenos zone.

    • Lizzietish81

      as far as we know

    • Sheepshagger

      Wink me off!

    • Gleem-McShinez

      It’s the only orfice she hasn’t yet used as an errogenos zone.

      Or … maybe that explains why she didn’t want her face photographed by the cops after The Brawl.

  • JoeChristmas

    Dude probably will suffer from PTSD, Palin Theatric Stupidity Disorder.

    • Beaumarchais?

      Aren’t we all?

  • jmk

    She would not be an honest woman if she married 6 guys.

    But…wait… she will be “Bristol Meyers”? That’s so awesome.

    • OneYieldRegular

      The kid will have to be named “Squibb.”

      • SnarkOff

        If it’s a girl.

      • chicken thief

        Oscar if it’s a boy.

      • NellCote71

        I think the Palin trend now is to name offspring after guns. So Beretta has already been taken. But that still leaves Bushmaster (in honor of Bristol). Magnum Meyers?

    • MsAnthropesMr

      Just think, if she get gets divorced, keeps the Meyers, and marries a “Squibb”

      • OneYieldRegular

        Aargh!

      • Steve Zakszewski

        Or a Weiner.

    • schmannity

      This will allow her to start manufacturing drugs in her trailer, one rock at a time.

    • angertoad

      Mitt turns out to be right . . . “Corporations are people, too, my friend.”

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Sounds like Bristol got in to the wine coolers again.

    • Flashman

      Wine coolers are part of the meth de-tox program.

  • angertoad

    Dude deserves another medal for marrying into that family.

    • Graham Cracker

      A psychological evaluation would probably do more good

      • Steve Zakszewski

        PTSD ain’t pretty.

      • Jenny

        Nah. A ton of soldiers have “conservative” thinking drilled into their heads. I’m sure he knew and worshipped mama grizzlie long before Bristol got her hands on him.

  • dshwa

    Congrats to them. Although tempted to put the over under somewhere between Brittany Spears-who the fuck was that guy and Kardashian-NBA star, I’m going to be generous and say 2.5 years.

  • smashedinhat

    I would tape a picture of her mom under all the chairs at the reception. Because I am mean.

  • dshwa

    So basically she’s marrying Track. I suppose it’s better than marrying her dad.

    • chicken thief

      I was working on a “how does Dakota feel knowing he’s the second soldier drinking from that trough” joke, but thought the reference might be too vague. Thanks!

      • dshwa

        Who wants to marry a virgin? Way to much work to teach them sexytimes.

  • runfastandwin

    I put the over under at 27 months.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Not 9? Err, 8?

      • chicken thief

        That’s the other pool.

        • Gleem-McShinez

          What’s the line on “Brawl at wedding reception?”

          • ThePuckStopsHere

            Bout the same as the KY (the college hoops team not the jelly) loozing to the Hampton/Manhattan winner.

          • Smirnonn

            Odds are 5:1 on.

    • Jeff Berard

      I’ll give you the points and take 18

    • chicken thief

      I don’t know. The man has a MOH, so you know he can take some shit. I might go 30.

    • Flashman

      If Dakota goes the full 27, I will personally nominate him for another Medal of Honor.

      • fredoandme

        and he’d deserve it this time.

  • Wild Cat

    Hail! The depleted uranium in his seed may bringeth forth to us a new Savior!

    • Reagan II?

      • Wild Cat

        Being that GHW Bush served both Reagan terms as proxy fascist-in-chief, I’d say Reagan I.

        • dowl

          Bush Meyer?

    • Gleem-McShinez

      Damn, another name we won’t be able to type at Wonket??

  • Jus_Wonderin

    No shotguns were involved? WTF?

    • Gleem-McShinez

      You use rifles when hunting wolves from helicopters, DUH

    • ThatDale

      Those are for the reception.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Dakota: Run.

    RUN.

  • kindness

    Just like in days of old when a couple got married, the King got ‘first dibs’ if he so chose. (it’s good to be King, Mel Brooks has said) Does this mean Caribou Barbie now gets firsteese to knock this (poor) guy back to the Stone Age come nuptuals day?

    Conversation at breakfast the next day would be entertaining, no doubt.

    • Blank Ron

      I think I just threw up in my mouth a little…

      • Bill Slider

        Or, a lot.

  • Olav_Pompatus

    Mazel tov! Where do we send our muneez? That is what they’re looking for, isn’t it?

  • schmannity

    Have they registered at Wonkette Bazaar yet? I’d sure hate to miss out on giving them some OHJB and Liz Warren mugs.

  • docterry6973

    A medal of honor winner has everyone’s respect. I wish them well, and i wonder if she will continue in her public life. The part that does not involve the police, I mean.

    • Baby_Raptor

      Except PayMe’s. Wasn’t she one of the people who crowed about how we were degrading the MoH by giving it for “feminine” things like saving lives instead of “manly” things like shooting up an entire unit by oneself?

  • diogenez

    Yeah yeah yeah.

    Is she pregnant?

    • chicken thief

      Or her mother? They seem to tag team this ‘carrying a baby’ stuff.

      • wilson201

        This.

      • diogenez

        Mommy dearest?

    • BackDoorMan

      That’s what I was thinking. I can just imagine the Palin family meeting… “oh, SHIT, not this again! This time we gotta git you married off right proper like… and we kin jes say the babby is premature when it gits here.”

  • “Dakota Meyers.” He sounds like a guy who does gay porn, but he sure doesn’t look like one.

  • JMPesq

    “Dakota” is not a name, people. Sigh. I blame that guy who was in Miami Vice back in ancient days.

  • Joshua Norton

    “putting her vagina on people and then pretending she is a virgin.”

    I can’t help but wonder if her hymen gets in the way when she has sex.

    • chicken thief

      All her men are high but she only does them one at a time, allegedly, so no, they aren’t in the way.

  • Jeff Berard

    Wait, you mean Bristol was making with the sexytime before she got the Walmart CZ ring?

    No white dress for you Bristol Palin. Slut.

  • say wha

    I wonder where the bachelorette party will be held?

    • MrBlobfish

      You know they will be arriving in a stretch Hummer.

  • dshwa

    How long before the sex tape gets released?

    • Steve Zakszewski

      I made the mistake of watching the Tanya Harding sex tape. I will not make a similar mistake again. My days of looking at bad car wrecks are past me.

      • schmannity

        Ugh. In the words of Nancy Kerrigan, “why me, why now?”

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Eeew.

    • BackDoorMan

      I’d say it’s in Editing, but given the Palin Studios production values I doubt that’s holding up the process. Maybe they’re still trying to “get it in one take”?

  • Jus_Wonderin

    What color will her wedding dress be?

    • MrBlobfish

      Camouflage.

      • fredoandme

        pink camo.

    • ViveLaRes

      Moose-Blood Red

    • Blank Ron

      White. And don’t ANYBODY say a word.

    • BackDoorMan

      … and will it have grass stains? Also, too… will Dolce & Gabbana be approached to design it (free of charge, ‘natch) since they have such love for “traditional families” that the Palins so obviously embody?

  • MrBlobfish

    Registered at Cabela’s, are they?

    • chicken thief

      Bartles and James also too.

  • hornheat

    I wonder if the wedding will be televised, like Paula Deen? $$$

  • Steve Zakszewski

    I guess they decided after the Palin clan didn’t fare too well in their last drunken brawl that more muscle was needed in the clan and Gristle dutifully gave it up for Family. Molotov, you crazy kids!

  • Mavenmaven

    Well, we know which one of them wears the gorilla suit in the family.

  • TheBidenator

    Hey….given that it’s Princess “Bartles and James” Palin is marrying another classy individumal add a wee bit o’ alcohol and we can get another one of these:

    http://www.themudflats.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/drunkenrumpus.jpg

    Think of the joy that’ll bring, people.

    • 1ucille_bluth1

      I don’t know how you can draw an accurate depiction of the wedding dinner when it hasn’t even happened yet.

      • TheBidenator

        What’s past is prologue- this picture is a dramatization from an excellent account of the infamous Palin brawl of 2014 (yes that is sweet Bartles and James on the left punching a guy in the face- excellent form I might add).
        http://www.themudflats.net/archives/44433

    • Smirnonn

      Ah, I think I recognize that piece – Adriaen Brouwer, Interior of a Drunken Brawl, c. 2014, yes?

    • Zyxomma

      Attributed to Jeanne Devon of The Mudflats.

  • Being one of the Gayz, I was much more delighted that Kathy Griffin had sex with Levi Johnston.

  • Bared Bear

    i can’t wait to see this one in playgirl, too.

  • Candy Apple

    I don’t expect this to last, and that makes me a bad person.

    • AntiDerpomeme

      And probably a realist too, also.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    So let’s see… if my calculations are correct, it was Dakota that “dragged her by her feet around the lawn.”

    And apparently it wasn’t “dragging.”

  • wandajayne

    The happy couple is registered at Billy Jim Bob’s Bait and Tackle of Wasilla where you can peruse the crotchless camo thongs, Exxon Valdez gravy boats and pricey designer meth bags to find that “Always Perfect” gift.

  • chicken thief

    I bet Sarah has already thought of 999 ways to grift off her future son-n-laws MOH.

    • Steverino247

      Not authorized. She will certainly try, but I’m sure he got “the talk” about how to behave, post-medal.

      • KatieAnnieOakley

        Behave – like when he held up the “F-U Michael Moore” bullseye poster in January?
        .

        • Blank Ron

          They don’t make CMOH recipients like they used to…

        • BackDoorMan

          Whenever I see this pic, it seems to me that Sistah Sarah is looking at her future SIL’s package, and from the look on her face she obviously approves… (possibly thinkin’… “ma baby Bristle gunna be such a lucky girl!”)

  • Enfant Terrible

    Watch out for her right hook, Dakota.

  • chicken thief

    This is bad news for Glenn Rice’s son.

  • Gleem-McShinez

    Does anyone know if the couple is registered anywhere for wedding grifts?

    • ThePuckStopsHere

      Hey oh!

    • Me not sure

      Cabela’s and whiskey of the month club?

    • OrdinaryJoe

      I think the bride will be OK with a plain white envelope stuffed with twenties.

    • gratuitous

      If she takes his name, she’ll be Bristol Meyers. I would advise you to shop accordingly.

      • O.O

        • SterWonk

          I was waiting for someone to post that. I was not disappointed! :-)

      • Meccalopolis

        they could have a baby named squib

    • Smirnonn

      Excellent. Just excellent :)

      I’d presume the Wasilla 7-11??

    • BackDoorMan

      Judging from what I’ve seen of the Palin grifterbilly mansion, I’m guessing MalWart for the high-end stuff, and Dollar Tree General for everything else.

  • Adam Pack

    I had not seen that Daily Caller ‘article’ before. Wow, some people are just delightful, aren’t they? Lovely wedding photo, though.

  • Steverino247

    So, a Medal of Honor recipient (they’re not called “winners”) has decided to involve himself with the Palins. Well, he won’t run into any tight spots, so he should be okay.

    • Smirnonn

      He’ll probably get himself a purple heart for said involvement.

    • DahBoner

      The hell you say.

      He won that medal from the claw machine in Wal-Mart fair and square…

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    I look forward to reading about the wedding brawl reception. And fer chrissake, will somebody please get video this time?

    EDIT: looks like Bidenator had the same notion an hour ago. Slow snark is no snark, on Wonkette!

  • AmusedAmused

    Aww, it will be yet another heartwarming story of Real Americans (TM). A living room with a shaggy carpet, a brood all dressed in faded fatigues and bearing names like Prarie, Tilden and Hruck. Mac & cheese with spam on weeknights, chased with milk; Chik Fil A and Budweiser on special occasions. Some binge drinking, maybe a quickie affair, a few light slams now and then. If any of this leaks to the media, accusations of a liberal conspiracy trying to destroy a great American family. Cheesy wedding vows renewal. Blood-curdlingly creepy international adoptions. Lots of talking about God, and butt-sechs, and talking about butt-sechs, and talking about talking to God, and talking about talking to God about butt-sechs. Asking God for guidance (on how to keep your godd-d meathooks from hurting people and other stuff). Godgodgodgodgodgodgod, because vourdalaks with processed meats permanently hanging from the spaces between their “teeth” are nothing if not spiritual. Beer. Sermons. Leaving to spend more time finding God. Probably somewhere at the bottom of a liquor bottle. Or a Xanax bottle. The end.

    • Blank Ron

      Now that would be worth subscribing to the Grifty McGrifterson Channel to watch.

      Oh, wait, no, it wouldn’t.

    • KenRob

      Wait – you missed “And they lived happily never after.” Oops, meant to say ever after. =)

  • Mellybel

    You people don’t sound like them there good liberals Rebecca was talking about. Your comments are all horrible!!! Wonderfully horrible!

    • AmusedAmused

      I know, I’m terrible :)

  • 3FingerPete

    Bristol finally gets to experience sex (except for that first time which really wasn’t her fault because she was tipsy and kind of sleepy so it doesn’t really count).

  • OrdinaryJoe

    This is what comes when the VA is all f’d up and there are no job programs for returning vets.

  • Steve Hyman

    Next bar room brawl the Palin clan stands a better chance now.
    I hate myself for that one but what the hey!
    I also see a reality show on the horizon. “Bristol Meyers Crib”

  • GarColga

    I hope Dakota likes mac and cheese, and Popsicles!

    • nanuq1

      Taco Bell Crunch Wraps on special occasions.

    • tim345

      Thats burnt mac and cheese.

      • KarenJ

        Or mac and cheese with little metal particles in it…

        Or contaminated Velveeta homemade mac and cheese…

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    By Palin standards, Dakota’s not even a weird name. Although among the liebruls, it be a girl name, just saying.

    • MyLovelyNose

      Dakota? That was a cigarette brand they were marketing in the 90s to the Bristol Palin crowd (a course, then she was just a mean streak in her mama). Girls with sullen somber faces and guys with redneck long hair, playing guitar around a campfire. “You may be ill-bred and stupid–but there’s a cigarette just for you.”

    • mtn_philosoph

      Wyoming, Utah — boys’ names
      Montana, Minnesota — girls’ names
      Dakota — can go either way
      Idaho — make up your own joke.

      My dubstep name was going to be Illin Noize, but it’s already taken. My hipster country band, on the other hand, will be called Whiskey ‘n Sin.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Also, too, does this mean my dream reality show of Wife Swap featuring Jessa Duggar and Bristol will happen? Virgin and Whore! But which is which?

  • Capt.Jim

    So the dude is a glutton for punishment ,I can’t imagine entering into a life that not only involved runt cunt but then he has to put up with mama cunt. I pity the fool

  • Toomush_Infer

    Excuse me – it’s pronounced “bristle”…

    • Meccalopolis

      rhymes with gristle

  • A Big Sarcastic Fairy!

    Can we just not care about this village bicycle?

  • Jenny

    You know what honestly, good for her. There’s hope for everyone, probably.

  • SCK

    Aw shucks, I’ve been found out. Now I needs to be nice.

  • ViveLaRes

    Are they registered at the Levi’s Outlet?

    • SterWonk

      All the Internets for you today!

  • gedjcj

    154 comments are too many to read through to find out if someone already asked “Who?”

  • Sheesko

    Dakota? Da-KO-ta?!? OMG what will they name the child? Let’s cast lots. I’m betting on North if it’s a boy, South it’s a girl. Awww if it’s kittens.

    And don’t think I’m not pissed about the no kittens last week because I am.

    • fredoandme

      da fuq.

      • mtn_philosoph

        “DaFuq” — that name gets my vote!

    • ShriekinViolet

      Oh, too drunk to be clever but their offspring will be named something horrible like Brikola (think those Ricola adverts).

      • Slinger

        Name will be “Trapped”, that’s how Dakota will soon feel.

      • mtn_philosoph

        All in all, I’d vote for Brickindawal, but I am not sure that BristDak know about that one.

      • Joseph

        Offspring? Won’t that violate her parole?

    • Smirnonn

      Bristol… Meyer… so it’s gotta be “Squibb.” Or Glort, Trunk, Blart, etc.

      • mtn_philosoph

        Could eventually have playdates with little Glaxo Smith-Kline.

      • JD Mulvey

        “Abilify” has a nice ring to it.

  • wilson201

    It’s all fun and games till she goes on a bender and punches him in the face.

    • RecreationalPilot

      I guess one of the Pre-Marital questions should be:

      If a woman hits you, do you believe it’s OK to strike her back?

  • Sam Hain

    Yeah Dakota, good luck with THAT…better you than me.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Oh man. Can you image what that wedding reception’s going to be like? Somebody better have a camera.

    • JD Mulvey

      They will ALL have a camera. And TMZ’s phone number.

    • DahBoner

      I hope there’s a LOT of King Sized Shrimp…

  • gedjcj

    So that Daily Caller piece has all of 15 comments (16 if mine gets approved) all disapproving.

  • sillyclucker

    I’m predicting a new reality show in their future.

  • amindofitsown

    Jerry Springer will be doing a live show from the reception.

  • DrLager

    my guess is, even as thick/hick as this Dakota dude is, after swimming a few laps in the palin pool, he’ll be looking for a towel and looking to hit the shower to wash the stink off

    • Wombat

      Apparently, he’s planning to run for office. If one were a cynic (one is) one might have some Thoughts about why he might jump straight into marriage after two months of an acquaintance with the most (in)famous scion of an attention-seeking political footnote who still might have at least a few good contacts.

  • Amy!

    Errrr. Wikipedia has his last name as “Meyer” rather than “Meyers”. Is Wonkette correct, or Wikipedia? Google seems to like the less-an-ess version better.

    If Wonkette misspelled the name of a MoH recipient, could it be corrected, please?

  • honestyingov

    Can we please ask that they NOT be able to breed?

    Mr Dakota thinks it’s cool to play with the kids while his gun sits there on the nightstand…feet away?

    Because in his own words that’s “THAT’S just how WE roll.. ha ha “…? (His Instagram account)
    (Arrogant and Stupid= Perfect match for Bristle ) But what about the kids?

  • ibwilliamsi

    Will she wear a thong gown?

    • diogenez

      hahahahaha

  • sw19womble

    Dakota? Don’t know. Don’t care. If they’re happy together and it will stop a Palin from annoying the outside world then it’s a win-win for everyone.

    Fingers crossed for them (and us).

  • RecreationalPilot

    Is there an OVER-UNDER on IF/WHEN Bristol’s first PTSD SHINER will occur?

    • PirateCafe

      I’d be more worried about the MOH recipient, not Brisket.

  • DahBoner

    Brisdull knew it was Meant To Be when he said:

    Did I ever tell you you look just like my sister?

    http://media0.giphy.com/media/whoUVmgt8uAuY/200w.gif

  • dsmith

    It’s good that he has combat experience.

  • Ducksworthy

    Having the same strain of Herpes does not mean you’re made for each other.

  • PirateCafe

    An open note to the MOH recipient:

    You are being used by the Palin family as a prop because of your MOH. You would be well advised to run in the opposite direction. Do not stop running until you are safely a continent away from the Snowbillies From Hell.

  • Arcturus

    What does this guy do for a living? Or is he going to get in on the sweet Palin long con?

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