Now Grandma gets to go to the Horseshoe, THANKS OBAMA.

U.S. Americans have been lately wondering why their Oklahoma Grandma has been sending them TWO crisp twenties for their birthdays these past few years. Is she sick? Has she reached the point where she can’t count moneys anymore? GOOD NEWS, it is not that, your Okie Mee-Maw is just fine! It turns out that, due to the Affordable Care Act, more popularly known as “Obamacare,” Grandma Rose has a bit more cash to throw around, stemming from Obamacare’s efforts to close the so-called “doughnut hole” in Medicare Part D, a dumb coverage gap that causes seniors to spend many extra dollars per year on prescriptions that they actually need. So far, though, since Black President death paneled all the Olds in 2010, Oklahoma grandmas (and grandpas, and grandsgenders, and also disabled people covered by Medicare who are not “grand” age) have saved $191 million on their prescription drugs, hurray! You know who is going to the race track this weekend? Yes, it is Grandma Rose and her 65,158 best friends:

Oklahoma seniors and disabled people on Medicare have saved nearly $191 million on medicine in the last four years because the coverage gap in the prescription drug program has been narrowed, the administration said Tuesday.

Last year, the savings amounted to $60.3 million for 65,159 Oklahomans on Medicare, according to the Department of Health and Human Services.

The coverage gap, also known as the “doughnut hole,” has been part of the Medicare Part D program since Republicans created it in 2003. The hole meant considerable out-of-pocket expenses once a senior’s drug costs reached a covered limit of about $3,000, and before the senior reached the level where catastrophic coverage kicked in.

That is nice! And also, somehow, the opposite of “death panels”? It’s not just Oklahoma either! Apparently, it’s $15 BILLION nationwide.

Because Wonkette is very good at math (or good at plugging math problems into the search bar), we have been able to calculate that the savings come up to an average of $925 per senior citizen or disabled Oklahoman. What does that mean? More money for your aforementioned birthday, more money for bingo, and also more money to prevent your senior citizen loved ones from being mired in medical bankruptcy and unable to live out the golden years of their lives with any shred of dignity. THANKS OBAMA.

And here is the thing! Obamacare isn’t even DONE killing your grandmother with money. According to The Oklahoman, the intended effects of the law are that the “doughnut hole” will be closed by 2020, which means we are only halfway there! WHOA HEY, you will say in 2020, when Grandma Rose sends you a nice gift card for dinner for FOUR at the Olive Garden, not even for your birthday, but just ‘cuz she loves you. Maybe this Obamacare thing wasn’t so terrible after all!

And sure, we know that, because Oklahoma, many of the people who are currently beneficiaries of this largesse are probably the same fucking Teabaggers who have been holding signs saying, “Keep your government out of my Medicare!” But as we have learned recently, Wonkette is kind of sort of okay with people doing better and not dying/losing everything they have, simply because they are assholes. We paid medical bills for one of the biggest cockgobblers of them all, that anti-Obamacare Arizona sheriff, Richard Mack, who ain’t got no fuckin’ Obamacare, because we are NICE, and also because there’s nothing like saving the world and calling it a dumbfuck at the same time, it gives us The Feels.

So if your Oklahoma Grandma Rose is one of those Fox News-watchin’ patriots, and she’s pretty sure the only reason she’s got this additional money is that she’s been extra sure to turn in every glass bottle she finds lying around Shady Pines, just let her believe that. You get a happier, richer grandma, and more presents, and also the secret knowledge that it only happened because of the evil Muslim in the White House, for whom you voted, twice.

[The Oklahoman]

Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • docterry6973

    Good news, since I will be an old person any day now.

    • Just this morning I put a warmer shirt on over a cooler shirt because you never know what the temperature will be. Needless to say, the shirts do not match in any way. Point being: I am officially dressing like an old person with no fucks to give. I will look forward to my $925.

      • timpundit

        Not matching is the oldster Gateway Behaviour. When you start to shop for pants with elastic waistbands, then you’ll be ready to take on oldster-hood.

        • Blank Ron

          Uh, oh…

      • Lizzietish81

        You could just be turning into a Bostonian. We’re known for not giving a fuck about fashion.

  • schmannity

    She’s proud to be an Oldie from Muskogee.

  • JustPixelz

    If I had $20 for every time the Reptards have voted to repeal Obamacare, I’d have about $925.

  • JustPixelz

    Because of the ACA and recent 401k gains, I was able to retire a couple years early. #ThanksObama

    • NorthStarSpanx

      But how does it account for all my friends on FB that says their healthcare costs have risen 40%?!

      • Steverino247

        They’re lying or passing along incorrect information because they’re too lazy to check out the information themselves before forwarding it to everyone.

        Lost a friend recently due to this. Just kept forwarding all this bullshit. I initially started sending him back the facts with links. Then, I told him it only took me 30 seconds to disprove what he sent. Finally, I asked him what the fuck was the matter with him.

        • Anarchy Pony

          Blah preznit.

          • Steverino247

            That’s that sad part. The guy is black!

          • Anarchy Pony

            Hmmm, I guess it’s just stupidity then.

        • NorthStarSpanx

          No doctor can help with that problem.

      • Tess

        There are people for whom that is true – self-insured people who had a bare-bones catastrophic plan that didn’t cover much. The plans tended to be cheap because they had high deductibles. In many cases, a base Bronze plan is quite a bit more, because it covers more. But that is not a large number of people.

    • artem1s

      so your part of the 47% now? Thanks Obama!

  • Wonkaholic

    I don’t know about you’alls, but I’m gettin’ sick and goldurn tarred of Obummercare always shoving their lib’rul homo munnies down my throat!

    • Shalimar

      GlaxoSmithKline has a new pill to help you with that. They were developing it for thrush but it didn’t have any effect so marketing is searching for alternate uses.

  • Lizzietish81

    My grand mother is a die hard democrat thank you very much.

    • Tess

      The in-laws switched from Dem to Hard R right about the time they hit 70 and discovered jebus (again) in what I would politely call a charismatic evangelical church (fill in your own impolite, probably more accurate descriptor). Also about the time they discovered well-known gold tout Porter Stansberry and a bunch of currency conspiracy theorists.

      • Lizzietish81

        I’m sorry. My Grandmother is 91 and politely bitched out a neighbor for assuming she was conservative.

  • Msgr_Moment

    Wait a Cotton-picking(TM) moment, here. Isn’t that $15 billion the same amount that was spent for recreational herb in Colorado this year? Gramma? Gramma? Why are you giggling at the TV like that?

  • Spurning Beer

    By the time I qualify for Medicare, I hope that Medicare Part G (or Ganjacare) will have been enacted.

  • cousin itt

    There are fewer and fewer Olds on the road anymore. Death panels are the reason people1!!1

    • Msgr_Moment

      I thought they were all blown off the road by Toronados.

  • JohnBull

    Just think, if they turned off Fox News for a week and allowed their blood pressure to return to semi-normal levels, they’d stay alive for a couple more years to send you a Cold Stone Creamery gift card, too!

    • Toomush_Infer

      I heard that FOX News is officially changing its name to GET OFF MY LAWN! (TM)….

      • Shalimar

        Clint Eastwood would never sell them the rights.

        • Toomush_Infer

          How about The Chair? – ’cause that would fit, too…..

    • Mickey Donovan

      And you could afford to send them a gift card for the Stone Cold Cemetery in return.

  • Spurning Beer

    So there are no actual donuts involved here? It’s because of Michelle Obama, isn’t it? We old people like donuts, dammit.

    • Zippy

      and no cakes we liek

  • OneYieldRegular

    If it helps keep my old relatives from going to those get-rich-quick seminars where Donald Trump is always a guest speaker (via video), I’m all fer it.

  • Lizzietish81

    Doesn’t Obama realize that giving these takers money is just encouraging to live longer?

    • Virginia Dreaming

      And the Lizzietish we know and love is back. Is that enough fluffing for now ;-)

      • Lizzietish81

        My ego is feeling tumescent indeed.

        • Toomush_Infer

          Because tumor or tuber…..?

          • Lizzietish81

            I watched a lot of porn this weekend.

          • Anarchy Pony

            Bunk, etc…

    • Mehmeisterjr

      They’re going to live longer and it will discourage them from finding jerbs. Why, I saw one of them buying crab legs with her own money. My idea is that we need to toughen up our grannies, not spoil them. (That idea came to me as I was riding in my car elevator.)

  • Sam Hain

    Yeah,yeah, that’s all fine and good but BENGHAZZZZIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Toomush_Infer

    And now….Obamacare! is officially awarded its exclamation point – at last!….

  • Spotts1701

    I thought the extra money was from hoarding sugar packets and those little creamers from the diner.

    • Barley_Brains

      And those little soaps and shampoo bottles Mee-Maw pockets the morning after her all-night sexy-time trysts at the Motel 6.

      • david green

        Ewwww! I’m an oldz and still, Ewwww.

        • Dudleydidwrong

          Hey! I’m an oldz, too. Keep going, Mee-Maw. Let me know when its my turn.

  • Nounverb911

    “since Black President death paneled all the Olds in 2010”
    I thought General Motors death paneled the Olds in 2004?

    • Viva La Tabula Raza

      Pontiac and Saturn, too.

      • Lizzietish81

        And Flint MI

        • Blank Ron

          Collateral damage. Oopsy!

  • ManchuCandidate

    More money to be spent at Oklahoma’s many casinos. Everyone wins!*

    *except the player and GOPer grannie death panelers

    • OzarkTroutBum

      But Granny does love her nickel slots and free wine spritzers so keep them coming. Plus with the players cards she gets a free buffet now and again so she gets a little protein to go with it. Its all good.

  • rocktonsam

    this Obama, is there anything he won’t hope and change?

    • Lizzietish81

      Wall St?

      • Anarchy Pony

        The tpp?

        • chicken thief

          His moose-limb religion?

          • Lizzietish81

            Sam Winchester Libel!

    • david green

      Well, he keeps insisting on remaining black. This doesn’t help his approval ratings.

    • Keeping Chelsea Manning in jail?

  • RoyalUglyDude

    Thanks, Obama.

  • Serolf Divad

    I call bullshit: If all these extra moneys are from Obamacare then why are they in U.S. American Dollars and not Iranian Rial?

    • Because an Iranian Rial is quite literally not worth the paper it’s printed on.

    • Captain Sarcasm

      A right-winger who is into Bertrand Russell. There’s something you don’t see every day.

      • Serolf Divad

        New to Wonkette?

  • Toomush_Infer

    You do know that being pissed off is what keeps my mom (93 last week) going strong….

  • beatbort

    All of that money belongs to the pharmaceutical companies! Give it back, Obama!

  • MrBlobfish

    As seen on Fox. As if.

    • jmk

      HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ohhhhh that’s rich. Good one!!

  • Shalimar

    Wonkette is kind of sort of okay with people doing better and not dying/losing everything they have, simply because they are assholes.

    I sympathize, but I’m still really pissed off that assholes rarely ever suffer any negative consequences for being horrible people. The rare bad things that happen to them are all chance, rather than punishment for being dicks.

    • I thought the rule was we can hope bad things happen to them as long as we add “…with votes!” to the end.

    • laineypc

      I always wonder what came first: being an asshole or having shitty things happen to you.

    • Isn’t being an asshole a negative consequence in itself? If not, why don’t we all become assholes?

  • Callyson

    Two of the comments on The Oklahoman are hilarious:

    That stupid OBAMA, saving people $ like that, it’s Communism!
    Why in my day we just followed the Bible and when people got sick they died!

    Notice, when it’s good news, they call it “The Affordable Care Act”. When they want to dog it, they call it “Obamacare”.

    They KNOW that most of the Tea-Base is too dullard to know they are one in the same.


  • Wild Cat

    I thought Oakies subsisted by drinking the withered breast milk of mothers of stillborn children in California. Was I lied to in Great Depression class?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Somewhere a big pharma CEO has to settle for a new Maserati every two years, not one, and only has three hookers available to him full time, not five, and the amount of coke he has to snort off their asses has been reduced proportionally.

    This is a tragedy that is fully Obama’s fault.

  • txb23

    You Wonketteers keep using words like “cockgobblers” as if that’s a bad thing. Please don’t make us almost want to like people such as Richard Mack (who clearly is A Idiot) by labeling them “cockgobblers,” which is actually something we rather approve of, regardless of the gender of the person who supposedly gobbles cock. It’s as if you don’t actually like “cockgobblers” yourselves, the way you throw the word around, and if that’s the case, it would make us have a sad.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Our photographic representation on the next post had a line about that. Because this is a family blog, and involves one of the seven, I won’t repeat it, but you people all know what I’m talkin’ ’bout here. You’re sophisticates. You’ve been around. You’ve been indictable under the UCMJ for it. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

  • a_pink_poodle

    Can’t Obama get death panels right?!

    • david green

      No FEMA camps, no Obamaphones, no abortionplexs, no death panels… The man is incompetent.

  • Me not sure

    Kids don’t know how good they have it these days. my grandma only gave me quarters and I had to rub her feet to get that! Thanks Obama!

  • say wha

    Won’t someone please think of the poor pharmaceutical conglomerates?

    • laineypc

      Oh I think they were behind it! More prescriptions Will Be Filled! Yay! Win-win!

  • Baby_Raptor

    Yes, it is Grandma Rose and her 65,158 best friends:

    Grandma has a LOT of best friends. Clearly Obamacare helps social opportunities too!

  • Darthhippy

    I used to sell Medicare insurance to people who where losing their group retirement benefits and this was the biggest hurdle. Cause it was such a huge costly income draining bad idea. I would talk to people all the time who would say I like Bush but for this damn medicare part d and they knew who done did it.

  • Biff52

    Hah. By 2020, all of us Olds will be dead.

    Thanks, Obama.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Howz that? I thought Zager and Evans promised me that I’d be around until the year 2525, takin’ majic learnin’ pills and choosin’ offspring from tubez. Damn Obama ruined my future.

  • TheBidenator

    So all of the olds are using the extra savings to buy up all the bullets because they just know Obama is comin’ for their guns and freedumbz. I’m sure the first part of that statement will make absolutely zero dent when mee-maw and the others are down clapping for Ted Cruz and his campaign slogan of “I’ve got mine, FUCK YOU”

  • sillyclucker

    So now all the horrible people waiting on grandma to die so they can collect their inheritance have to wait longer. THANKS OBAMAAAA! !!

Previous articleHero Ted Cruz Will Save Us All From NASA Studying Our Climate
Next articleTeevee Pastor Needs Most Luxurious Private Jet on the Planet, For Jesus