SHARE

These big David Byrne suits dont' just grow on trees, you know.

Hey, we bet you’d like to read a story about sleazy child-regifting monster Justin Harris that isn’t about his sleazy child regifting for a change, wouldn’t you? Lord knows we have plenty of those already, and the whole sordid mess isn’t nearly finished playing itself out. Instead, let’s learn a bit more about Justin Harris, the small-government entrepreneur who says that government never created a single job — no, really, he said that — and who liked to brag in campaign ads about all the jobs he created at his “Growing God’s Kingdom” preschool in West Fork, Arkansas. Turns out he and his wife, Marsha, had a little help creating those jobs!

While we already noted that most of his funding came from state and federal government grants for low-income kids, now we know the price tag to the good people of Arkansas, their Department of Human Services (DHS), and the rest of the United States: Over $4 million in state and federal funds since 2010. Thank goodness all that money was going to a small-government conservative, or it might have been wasted!

According to DHS, Harris has received more than $4,195,651 from public program funds for his Growing God’s Kingdom preschool since 2010.

The department’s data show the following money has been distributed since 2010:

$547,619 from the USDA for free or reduced lunches for young children
$2.7 million from the Arkansas Better Chance state-funded pre-K
$945,580 from the Child Care Development Fund that helps pay for childcare for qualifying families.

Hey, we thought there was no such thing as a free lunch! But apparently there are $100,000 worth at just one preschool, each and every year! (For the record, we like free school lunches, and we are not the jerk-offs trying to ban them.)

But while that may seem like a lot of money, you have to remember that it was paying for lots of little kids to get a good Christian education, the way Jesus and the Constitution He wrote intended. And after Americans United for Separation of Church and State investigated the pre-school, DHS did tell Harris to knock it off with the in-school prayers, which he said he would, and so he probably did, maybe.

Also, too, you’ll be glad to know that Arkansas Secretary of State Mark Martin isn’t the only Republican coming to Harris’s defense.

Other conservatives have just had it with this unfair witch hunt against a Godly man who didn’t do anything wrong except maybe abandon his adopted children with a guy who later raped one, but come on, it’s not like he had “rapist” tattooed on his forehead. At least not then. Harris’s fellow state Rep David Meeks took to the Face Book to support his pal:

I know this might anger some people, but I don’t throw someone I consider a friend under the bus. Yes, I am speaking of Rep Harris. He is someone I have gotten to know and has built up credibility with me. The tabloid that is doing most of the reporting on this has no credibility with me whatsoever. The experience that I have had with this tabloid is that they are out to destroy Conservatives, Christians and are willing to spin, lie, or make up stuff to do it.”

Yeah, the Arkansas Times probably totally made up the state’s investigation of the daughter’s rape, too, not to mention all the people who spoke to them on the record about what happened. All in the name of making Christian conservatives look bad, the way they do.

Arkansas Gov. Asa Hutchinson explained at a press conference Wednesday that, golly, what with tax revenue the way it is, there’s just no money to really find out what the heck might have happened:

“I don’t think anyone at this table knows all the facts. I don’t think anyone in this audience knows all the facts. And I can assure you as Governor I do not know all the facts,” said Hutchinson. “So it seems premature to start making judgments when all the facts are not on the table.”

Hutchinson said he would like to have a Solicitor General in his administration with subpoena powers to investigate the matter, but a lack of resources prevent it.

“I would like to have as a management tool for the Governor more investigative capability. Now, I’m not proposing legislation in that regard. This is something I see as a need in the state,” he said.

You know, some things are just a mystery, and there’s no way of knowing, unless maybe you spent some money for an investigative job or something like that, and the people of Arkansas are sick and tired of having Big Government take their money and waste it on investigations of every little sex crime that comes along.

Besides, there’s that one legislator’s daycare business that needs funding. You wouldn’t want to take away daycare for the little children, now would you?

[ArkansasMatters / UALR Radio via Daily Beast]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • https://chairmanmaoindc.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/tree-front.jpg

    [2 hours later: Well, Dok, I guess now you know who reads the alt text.)

  • jmk

    The more I read about this guy, the more nauseated I get.

  • LesBontemps

    Pretty sure Justin Harris doesn’t need the the Arkansas Times to make him look bad — he’s doing fine all by himself.

  • Bitter Scribe

    How interesting that the info about the total $$$ received by this fat sack of shit came from DHS. You don’t suppose this is payback for him throwing them under the bus, especially when a DHS official intervened to expedite the adoption in the first place, do you?

    • rebecca

      Yes.

    • Sheesko

      Ah, so you’re beginning to see how this “investigative journalism” thing works. It’s not all about blow jobs.

  • Vienna Woods

    I really hope this guy gets what he deserves. (With AND without votes. It would be nice if the “with votes” was literal- can even Arkansas stomach what he has done? Oh wait- I forgot the comments already made by his fellow GOP. Never mind.)

  • Steverino247

    The true purpose of tax cuts is now revealed (as if we didn’t know already) and that is to hamstring governments at all levels so their enforcement agencies can’t do their work. “Oh, we’d like to investigate stuff like child trafficking for sexual abuse, but, you know, that budget is really tight.”

    • Sheesko

      Bingo. And also, too, if “the people” are starving and can’t afford to put gas in their non-existent cars and have to work (at a job they can’t get to because no car) for food stamps, blah blah blah…see the pattern?

    • HogeyeGrex

      The endgame is anarchy with the carve-out of a police state protecting the corporate interests. The less secure the people are in their lives, the more easily they can be taken advantage of.

      My visions of The ACME Piano Moving Company’s oopsies are not limited to the particular jackass above.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    This isn’t a witch hunt. I just think the Harrises are possessed by demons, that’s all. Locking them away in solitary for a couple, ten years will drives them demons right out.

    • jmk

      I’m sure they would agree to that plan.

      After all…it was their plan for that little girl.

  • docterry6973

    The GOP is just fine with sending tax money to religious enterprises, especially if Republicans own them. Sending tax money to hungry or abused children, not so much.

  • whatwhomever

    All this, and he probably still hasn’t shown himself to be a big enough scumbag to be voted out of office by his god-fearin’ constituents.

  • LesBontemps

    I wish Justin Harris were right and there actually is a Hell.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Justin is doing an awesome job making Satan look good by comparison.

  • Reddishrabbit

    If only there was a group of people who could investigate possible crimes. Maybe even arrest them. Some type of law enforcement or peace something. And then, maybe an attorney, elected by regions, or say districts who could prosecute crimes. We could call them district attorneys or something. Then again I’m a big government liberal who believe in the whole law and order applies to everyone, not just poor/minorities. Good to know, politicians in Arkansas aren’t investigated in the normal ways.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Time for a little USDA Federal overreach.

    • Blank Ron

      What are you, some sort of radical dreamer?

  • Sheepshagger

    Now listen. If god didn’t want us to steal, why did he give us two perfectly good hands to steal with? Huh? You can’t answer that now.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I cannot answer that now, no. I am using both my hands to plug my ears.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    “Hey, we thought there was no such thing as a free lunch! But apparently there are $100,000 worth at just one preschool, each and every year!”

    I wonder how many of the foodstuffs stuck to Justin’s own ribs because, from the looks of his pictures, he is one hungry boy.

    • Fun with Cthulhu

      i am pretty sure that he’s still charging the parentals for their sprogs’ lunches and that nice government lunch money is paying for his oversize suits.

  • LesBontemps

    How much state and federal funding do you think I can get for my Munchkin Madrassa Child Care Center franchise I’m planning to open in Arkansas?

    • Sheepshagger

      Hey throw in some Munchausens by proxy and you have a winner.

  • westendres

    Beside being a terrible human being, that guys head is way to small for his body.

    • culture_drone

      It’s confusing, I can’t tell if he has a tiny head or giant torso.

      • jviscont1

        like a Macy’s parade inflatable character from last year, some distortion is inevitable.

      • Chick_Tract_Fil_A

        In my best Robert Stack voice: Tonight’s Episode: Weebles Wobble But They Don’t Fall Down.

      • RecreationalPilot

        He’s got girth, and not where it probably counts either.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Yes.

    • jmk

      I can’t help but think of this…

      • Sheesko

        Yes, and?

        • jmk

          And… it makes me happy to think of B. Kliban at any time…nothing more than that.
          I’m not saying I’m one of the “callous sophisticates” laughing at this guy’s tiny head or anything…especially since pretty much the last thing this creepshow makes me want to do is laugh.

          Apologies for the cartoon showing up multiple times – I can’t figure out why and I can’t seem to fix it, either.

  • Wonkaholic

    I’ve heard that Justin has decided that young children’s indoctrination is just not worth all the bad exposure (pun not intended, eww), so his next educational endeavor in West Fork will be in secondary education. Be prepared for (taxpayer supported, natch) West Fork U.

  • Zippy

    Didn’t do anything wrong? Look at that suit! Did Stevie Wonder dress him?

    • diogenez

      Joan Rivers would kick his ass.

  • ArgieBargie

    You know who else is a well-funded, religious extremist, child abuser?

    • Zippy

      AOT,K?

      • ArgieBargie

        Well, Boko Haram and ISIS, for starters.

    • Wonkaholic

      You mean besides the Catholic Church in general?

  • Joseph

    WOW! The state cannot afford to pay for an investigation into what smells a lot like fraud, kidnaping, child trafficking. Looks like the whole sate is incompetant and crooked and should be kicked out out of the Union because Stupid. The state motto is “The People rule”. If would be better if they could read and write and did not molest children.

    • OneYieldRegular

      They sure didn’t seem to have this kind of difficulty while investigating Whitewater.

      • thepoliticalcat

        No, and wasn’t young Asa, #AR’s purported Governor, the loudest of the hounds baying at Clinton’s heels back then?

  • jesuswasablack

    Is that his high school senior picture? Dude looks like he’s 17?

    • Zippy

      Purity ball

      • Wonkaholic

        He went with his dad?

    • shastakoala

      Or his cotillion pic when he was a junior league deb.

    • dimplasm

      I think he’s not a hundred percent male.

      • thepoliticalcat

        Yup. His “three sons” are his wife’s from a previous marriage & he said he adopted the girls because they wanted a bigger family and “couldn’t have any more children.” Highly suspicious, unless wifey contracted Galloping Sterility. She had no problems popping three out of her salad shooter.

        • Sheesko

          I’ve heard about Marsha’s previous marriage before but I’ve found no corroboration for it. There’s a wedding photo of them floating around somewhere. They look hardly more than teenagers. Not that I’m an apologist for the Harrises — light years form that. But if you have proof, would you offer it up for the merriment of all, please? Thanks.

          • thepoliticalcat

            Unfortunately, I think I read it in the comments of one of the million articles I’ve recently read about the schlub. Looked for a while, can’t find it. Knew I should’ve bookmarked it. :P Sorry.

    • Sheesko

      He has that fish-belly-white look of the immature, terrified religious nut that you so often see on reality teehee.

  • Zippy

    C’mon Arkansas. Do you really irrationally hate democrats so much that you’re OK with this guy?

    • Wonkaholic

      Um, yes.

      • Zippy

        frightening, ain’t it

        • Blank Ron

          Not any more. One gets inured to it after seeing it so many times…

    • dimplasm

      Nope. I absolutely did not vote for any of this slime.

    • Baby_Raptor

      Yes, a lot of people here do. I sunk 500 dollars into car repair not long after moving here because someone scratched the hell out of my bumper to get rid of an Obama sticker. There were some not nice words etched there as well.

  • shastakoala

    Too late! Rep Meek’s vapid support of Harris is a demon-stration in futility.

    • thepoliticalcat

      I see wut you did there.

  • diogenez

    Just call him Captain Howdy.

  • HarryButtle

    Does this motherfucker have ANY suits that actually fit him?

    • diogenez

      The only outfit that would suit him is jail house orange.

    • RecreationalPilot

      He and his wife had obviously skipped the whole GLUTTONY thing at bible camp.

      Not just in taxpayer consumables, but in the food he and his wife pass down their gullets.

      • Sam Hain

        Hey now REAL XTIANS are allowed to pick and choose which parts of the bible they get to ignore…as long as some time in the future they pretend to ask for forgiveness…that’s how it works.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Yep. Looks like they showed up for the last supper and didn’t stop.

    • Sam Hain

      Methinks he’s either a very BIG fan of David Byrne or trying to cover up his expansive, almost equatorial waistline….you be the judge.

      • thepoliticalcat

        I still say “he” is covering up 46-TripleD TITS.

        • LakeLucilleLoon

          From the looks of him he owns ALL the estrogen in that family.

    • Sheesko

      I refer to his suits as hot-air balloons. The term fits him better than the suits do, so there’s that.

  • Sheesko

    Meeks says “tabloid” like it’s a BAD thing.

  • dimplasm

    No, we don’t want to throw piece of shit grifter under the bus, we don’t care about a six year old little girl, however, she’s toast. Conspicuously absent from all of these GOP shitheads is there concern about what happened to this child. They are more concerned about Harris.

  • Seriously

    I wish someone had the balls to investigate every “religious” institution in the country for fraud. And if you make an entire career out of small government you shouldn’t be allowed to take FOUR MILLION from the government you’re always trashing.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I’m pretty sure that about 95% of the “entrepreneurial spirit” exhibited by these Babbittville hillbillies involves simply figuring out how to grift sweet taxpayer money.

      • Sheesko

        You would be surprised by the smarts and outrage of a huge number of Arkansans who are rising from the slime of this horror story. Check out the FB page, “All Harris All the Time” to see what they’re up to. And you can give munnies to the Arkansas Times right this very here: https://www.ioby.org/project/beyond-rehoming-investigating-arkansass-child-welfare-system

        • Steverino247

          They love them some Wonkette over there.

          Oh, and I’m not the DC Bureau Chief who posts here, but I want to know who is.

          • Sheesko

            Oh no, Steverino!

          • Sheesko

            “Oh no, Steverino!”

        • Seriously

          I’m happy to see that. I’m amazed that we actually have to raise money for something like this when you think about the millions CNN spends to cover non-stories.

          I wish the Justice Dept. could investigate this Jesus exploitation/widespread fraud. But you know Justice Dept, run by Eric Holder, a “Scary Black Man”.

  • Bared Bear

    IMPEACH!!! can it be from the human race?

  • dimplasm

    And here’s another little gem. This one is from the Arkansas Democrat Gazette (or the Arkansas DOG as it is not lovingly referred to), the state paper. It is a right wing rag, so, you can see why they are so apologetic in tone in even reporting this.

    • dimplasm

      I didn’t put the dang link…**sigh**

  • OneYieldRegular

    What a ringing self-endorsement for the esteemed Governor of Arkansas, Asa “We must mobilize the nation’s resources to investigate this stain on Monica Lewinsky’s dress!” Hutchinson. “I’d investigate, but my state doesn’t have enough resources and heck I’m just the governor and have no idea how to do anything about that.”

    • rebecca

      “don’t judge we dont know because we will never know because of taxes oh well bye”

  • chascates

    He’s wearing a lapel pin of the Arkansas flag instead of the United States flag so he’s a worthless fucking traitor. Send him to Syria and let him peddle his Jesusocity over there.

    • Steverino247

      For about an hour…

  • Sam Hain

    Every time I read about this puke and his wife and their “childcare” I feel like I’ve contracted some kind of teabaggitis and need a good scrubbing.

    • Steverino247

      Silkwood shower?

  • Slamtundra

    I don’t understand…he already is a management tool. And an asshole. They’re all assholes. Fuck these sick religious fucks.

  • JohnnyZhivago2

    New Arkansas License Plate: Arkansas: We Just Don’t Know

  • jviscont1

    can we just cast Justin in the next Liam Neeson movie and have him do his own stunts?

  • Bill Slider

    Ding, ding, I think we have a winner, the first Member of this new Congress that may get to
    go to jail.

    • Sheesko

      Tom Cotton is in a different legislative body entirely: the US Senate. Harris is a mere Representative in the Arkansas House of Representatives. For a while.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Surprise, surprise, surprise!

    Mammon’s little helper has been doing just fine over the past five years! Still wants to not have to install sprinklers in the day care center, though!

  • cousin itt

    What are facts trading for today on the international exchanges? I believe it’s 1 fact = 1 fuck in most of the world. I’m guessing in Arkansas you couldn’t buy a fact even if you had eleventy thousand fucks.

    • Baby_Raptor

      Oh, there are certain facts that people in this state like. They like the fact that they have the freedom to be uneducated fundamentalist Christians. They like the fact that they’re legally allowed to beat their kids. They like the fact that females are capable of breeding as teenagers–I once got asked if there was “something wrong with me” because I was a 22 year old with no offspring.

      • smartalek

        Clearly.
        You have a 3-digit IQ.
        Defective by definition; completely outside their experience of the universe.
        See?

      • Bitter Scribe

        Yeah, no shit. My sister used to live in rural Virginia, and whenever I visited her, I noticed that every female past the age of puberty had at least one rugrat. Do they issue them if you don’t crank out your own?

  • OrdinaryJoe

    “…sleazy GRIFTING child-regifting Justin Harris…”

    fixed

    • Sheesko

      White bread rap.

  • Beowoof14

    In my best southern accent all I can say is “bless their hearts”.

    • micster50

      I’m in Texas… I know that translates into “eat shit and die”. *lol*

      • dimplasm

        Let me try, I’m southern…Fuck Y’all, child rapin’ shit eaters!

        • Baby_Raptor

          Now, now…You’ll give the poor Southern church ladies heart attacks talking like that! If we’ve learned anything from living in the bible belt it’s that Jesus wants us to be *polite* when we’re condescending pricks!

          • micster50

            *bahahahahahahaha*

          • dimplasm

            Sorry, Fuck Y’all child rapin’ corn holers!

          • Sheesko

            No, no. “Fuck ALL y’all child rapin’ corn holers.” More than four, you see.

          • Amy!

            “Well, yes, dear. Justin … ” (sighs) ” … Justin ain’t right, honey, you understand what I’m sayin’?”

        • micster50

          That works…:0)

      • Sheesko

        Honey, hush!

        • micster50

          *grabbing my fan*
          So sorry…I had the vapors. :0)

  • Baby_Raptor

    Instead, let’s learn a bit more about Justin Harris, the small-government entrepreneur who says that government never created a single job — no, really, he said that —

    Well, if you for whatever reason needed yet another sign of this guy’s idiocy…He worked a job that the government created and then claimed that the government never created jobs.

  • DsMTwoShoes

    Harris is the personification of Tea Party Small Government Republicans.
    A worthless piece of shit that is a waste of oxygen.
    Why he and his wife aren’t in jail for their activities is beyond belief.
    The legal system in Arkansas must be run by 21st century troglodytes.

    • Steverino247

      Twelfth Century True Believers.

  • Incoming Ham

    Growing Grifter’s Kingdom.

    /FIFY

    • cousin itt

      In the beginning, was the Grift, and the Grift was with God, and the Grift was God.

  • dshwa

    I’m running out of words for this. And rat dicks for his defenders.

  • BillWestern

    I’ve commented enough on this scuzball, now I really want to know about his suits. Why is he wearing such oddly large suits? Sure he’s a fatass, but the clothes appear to have been made for for his older fatter dad. Almost as weird as the exorcism shit.

    • Me not sure

      He buys his suits from the same place Ted Cruz does, Honest Ivan’s Used Soviet Suit Emporium.

    • janecita

      He needs the extra space to store all his money.

    • Sheesko

      Marsha makes them in her Women’s Mission crafting workshops. From cloth she buys at the Walmart Mother Ship in Bentonville.

  • HogeyeGrex

    Is it wrong that I want the ACME piano moving co. to drop a fucking piano on this guy?

    • beatbort

      And a nice shrubbery from the Knights That Say NO

  • TootsStansbury

    Ew ew ew. I keep thinking of the song ‘Fiddle About’ from ‘Tommy’ for some reason.

    ETA That and ‘Tubular bells’. Ew.

    • beatbort

      Who is Wicked Uncle Ernie in this scenario?

      • HogeyeGrex

        AOT,K

  • Ryan Denniston

    Well, thank god it went to the school and not all those shiftless farmers in real Merica who are just grifters that are posing. Nothing like having that pimped out Catepillar shit blocking you all the way through the town cause it can only do 25 yet takes 3.5 lanes of traffic, money to the school will totally take care of that!

  • AnOuthouse

    Republicans are shocked that when they do nothing, nothing gets done. I see it a lot in my reactionary red county.

  • janecita

    Huckabee, The Duggars, Harris, Cotton. Are there any normal people in Arkansas?

    • cousin itt

      The Clintons? Ah, err, well you know, sorta kinda?

      • janecita

        Maybe Chelsea, she seems OK.

        • TrufflePig58

          she didn’t have to live much in Arkansas

    • Baby_Raptor

      I like to think I’m somewhat normal but I’m neither famous nor a politician so I might not qualify.

      • dimplasm

        Me too.

    • dimplasm

      Maya Angelou was from Arkansas.

      • micster50

        and you….;)

        • dimplasm

          Yeah, and me. And my kids aren’t self absorbed Thumpers.

          • micster50

            Mine either….imagine that.
            It turns out you don’t have to drag your kids to church every week
            to produce a good citizen.
            I used to curl up with my kids on Sundays and watch Ren & Stimpy. I caught hell for that from some snotty little PTA mom. Her kid is doing time in Huntsville now for deadly assault.

          • sudden_eyes

            Are you in Texas, state of my birth? I am shocked that kind of thing doesn’t happen more often, honestly. The “values” too many people teach their kids are so fucked up. Every time I’m there I picture Jesus facepalming all over the place.

          • micster50

            Yep…been here almost all my life. Over 40 years.

          • Sheesko

            I’m so sorry. Here, drink this.

          • micster50

            It wasn’t always like this. We had Ann Richards and Barbra Jordan with Molly Ivins giving them hell.
            Now …well just gimme the drink.

          • Sheesko

            Ha ha! That’s priceless! Love it.

          • micster50

            “Stimpy….you fat bloated idiot….”

            Christ I loved that show!

          • Blank Ron

            Funny how often that happens.

      • onedollarjuana

        Yeah, and shes’ dead! So see what that gets you?

  • Tom Ford

    Apart from the overall hideousness of this guy’s story, what is up with the giant suit? It looks like a pinstripe parachute fell on him. Like he’s a boy who tried on his Dad’s suit. Like the earnest young graduate, showing up for his first day at work in a suit he borrowed from Tiny, his college roommate. Either that, or he figured it was the perfect look for his “Stop Making Sense” approach to politics and life.

    • James Hoey

      Actually, that’s where he is hiding the four million dollars he scammed. Can’t trust the banks anymore, what with all that reporting they have to do….

    • JoeChristmas

      Joseph A Banks, buy 1, get 3 free, this weekend!

      • BackDoorMan

        …and in the case of this colostomy-bag, they’ll combine all 4 suits into one.

    • micster50

      I haven’t seen him in a suit that fits yet.

      • Tom Ford

        Same here — every suit is the same way!

    • dimplasm

      If he gets a suit that fits you can see his boobs. That’s my guess. I’m not kidding. I am 100% serious.

      • micster50

        You’re probably right.

        • dimplasm

          I would not be at all surprised that he has male genitalia, but female everything else. That would be part of his distraction from himself by his self righteous behaviors and Jesusness. I read one article that the kids weren’t his and they couldn’t have any of their own. It would definitely fit with my 100%, right out of my own head, idea. ANd I bet he doesn’t know.

          • micster50

            He has very feminine features.
            Self loathing has driven more than one person to religion, cults and unfortunately worse.

          • dimplasm

            And a total lack of facial hair.

          • Sheesko

            Not quite. Look closer — especially at the most recent TV interview he did, where you can see the white schmaltz in the corners of his dainty little lips.

            Telling you: creepy doesn’t even begin to describe this guy.

          • dimplasm

            Yeah, but a lot of women have hair on their faces. More than he does. And yes, he is creepy. Very creepy.

          • Sheesko

            The boys resemble him, though. I suppose Marsha meekly submitted to him for that purpose. Oh God. Now I have to soak my brain in bleach.

          • dimplasm

            I think they are from a previous marriage.

      • Sheesko

        Look at the hands. Mammy always said you could tell a lady by her hands.

        • sw19womble

          Harris is no lady.

          • Sheesko

            I use the term as loosely as any southerner would ;)

        • FlemmishSpy

          Half the room shouts “Big Clit!”, while the other inists “Teeny-weenie!”.

      • sw19womble

        Intersex? That would explain a lot….

        • Amy!

          Ugh.

          It would not explain anything about his behavior or lack of morals, ethics, or basic humanity.

          If you could edit to say that it would explain a lot about his appearance (but even then, I’d kinda wanna take offense on behalf of some friends, who don’t look like baby stormtroopers wearing daddy’s uniform).

    • cheetojeebus

      It’s not just that they don’t fit. They look like they were tailored by a 3rd grade home economics class.

    • Actually, he looks like a middle aged transgendered woman. And have you heard his VOICE? Holy crap. He sounds like a 13-year-old girl.

      • Sheesko

        I agree. And as I have said elsewhere, the hands are small and feminine-looking.

        I’m sure the freakishly huge shoulder pads are a misguided attempt to get a suit large enough to accommodate the gigantic girth of his upper arms and wide midsection. But sweet tears a’ baby Jeebus, why not tailor the result? Have people in AR been laughing about him for years or is it a new thing? America suddenly wants, nay, NEEDS to know.

      • Me not sure

        Oh aunty dear, i was thinking the very thing but was afraid of offending some innocent trans person.

    • Logic of Color

      “I’ve seen David Byrne in a big suit. You sir, are no David Byrne”

      • Msgr_Moment

        This is not my beautiful house adopted daughter!

  • beatbort

    Shut off the money spigot and throw this creep’s ass in the stir.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Okay. What do we do?….

  • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

    So, apparently the religious curriculum at GGG preschool/daycare was a bit more than singing “Jesus Loves Me” and bible stories.”If they got in too much trouble they would pray on the kids, do a circle around them, put their hands on their heads, saying, trying to rebuke demons.” Said former employee, Amber.

    Not so much child development as child de-devilment.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      They’d pray on the kids? I think that’s spelled wrong.

  • James Hoey

    Isn’t this kind of like a REALLY late term double abortion? He gets four million and dumps his kids. What a sterling example of christian love and charity. However, christians do say that God helps those who help themselves, and this putz helped himself big time to millions. Your tax dollars at work, folks.

    • He didn’t really feel any loyalty to those little girls. After all, they weren’t fetuses any more.

      • dimplasm

        They were props.

  • Adam Pack

    If some ingenious hacker managed to change every word on the whole internet to the phrase ‘fuck this bastard’, it would still not even begin to indicate how much I dislike him.

    • micster50

      Ditto….

      • dimplasm

        Amen.

        • micster50

          I was so pissed about this I actually got a post deleted.
          I never get like that, but this guy….he’s a special case.

          • dimplasm

            Me too. He’s a sack of shit. A real sack of shit.

          • micster50

            Not sure what else can be done. I’ve signed a petition…linked the story where and when I could.
            Shy of driving up to Arkansas and getting in his fat pious face I feel like I’ve done what I can.
            I have to say the Arkansas Times is really doing a hell of a job. They aren’t letting up for a second.

          • dimplasm

            I’m here in Arkansas. Most people don’t really even know about it, I don’t think. Just keep linking it, that is what I am doing and mentioning it every time I can.

          • micster50

            Will do. This isn’t a partisan thing with me either, it’s just so fucking wrong.

          • JoeChristmas

            Tack one more on. This guy is the epitome of teabagger, pseudo-xian, hypocrisy.

          • smartalek

            The arrant hypocrisy of the teatard doesn’t make it at least an order of magnitude worse for you?
            I suspect a moral compass in need of a tuneup, or an outrage gland that’s hypertrophied from constant overexertion these past few years.
            An irony deficiency can contribute to either syndrome.

          • Sheesko

            Thank you!

          • Sheesko

            You could give money to the Arkansas Times, which needs it to get more flesh on this story, more eyeballs going through the FOIA docs, etc. Go here:

            https://www.ioby.org/project/beyond-rehoming-investigating-arkansass-child-welfare-system

          • Local Mojo

            I was going to send a nice bouquet, but that is more better.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            But he seems nice, as real sacks of shit go.

          • micster50

            Voted the “nicest sack of shit” by his senior class!

          • dimplasm

            Shit eating, backstabbing, narcissist.

          • Blank Ron

            You too, hunh?

    • TheBidenator

      Yes he’s a gelatinous pile of congealed donkey spunk mixed with the smeared resin of David Vitter’s dirty diapers. Fuck this prick and his hypocritical wingnutty sanctimony…he deserves to lose his seat, his business and probably his kids for this

  • TrufflePig58

    “And I can assure you as Governor I do not know all the facts,” said Hutchinson.

    Oh I believe you Asa, I believe you.

  • micster50

    I haven’t been this angry about a story in a very long time. It’s horrific enough what it took to get those kids into harms way, but the fact that NOBODY in that state seem to give a shit is just infuriating.

    • dimplasm

      To me too.

    • Sheesko

      To be fair, DHS seems to be pretty peeved. Privacy laws prevent them from answering his lies with facts, though. I suppose a sealed deposition could be handed over to a judge, but I’m getting way ahead of where this story is so far.

      • micster50

        You know they wish they could defend themselves.

  • dimplasm

    Yes, the brazenly handsome and lovely and gentle Harris family did use one of the daughters in their campaign ads…against DHS policy.

    http://www.arktimes.com/ArkansasBlog/archives/2015/03/13/justin-harris-used-foster-daughter-in-campaign-materials-against-dhs-rules

  • Donna Rail

    This is going to get worse. And then worser. And then worserer. Makes your average death metal song sound like a toothpaste jingle.

    • dimplasm

      Rumor is that there is more to it. Quite a bit more. Now, if the state GOP can just get us all to forget it before it gets out. That’s what they tried with this.

      • Blank Ron

        I don’t think it’s working.

  • JoeChristmas

    This guy needs an orange ill-fitting suit.

    • Sheesko

      Presumably you don’t mean this…

  • micster50

    I don’t want him to just resign…they had better shut down that thing he calls a school as well.

  • Donna Rail

    Not to go all heavy, but here’s Matthew 18:6:

    Matthew 18:6 But he that shall scandalize one of these little ones that believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone should be hanged about his neck, and that he should be drowned in the depth of the sea.

    — Wonder what happens to child abusers in prison? Hmm.

    • Sheesko

      Eric Francis is finding out. Praise Jeebus.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Jebus didn’t follow the Rules for Radical Common Taters.

  • can we have some warblogging please?

  • Mr. Wonderful

    “He is someone I have gotten to know and has built up credibility with me.”
    God, they’re such morons. No, wait. Scratch that. What I meant was, “God? They’re such morons. DO something.”

  • dimplasm
    • micster50

      Can’t wait for the books those kids are going to write.

      • dimplasm

        I know. Some therapist somewhere is going to be rich.

      • sw19womble

        Their kids are going to be able to write?

        • micster50

          Good point.

        • dimplasm

          They can tweet and facebook. Not well, but…

  • sw19womble

    … and so to Step 4: the Social Conservatives flock to his defence and start yelling “no, you’re the liar!”

    • dimplasm

      Which they did, right on cue.

    • weejee

      While their sad and shiny salesperson pantz are smoldering.

  • Me not sure

    What’s all this about Jesus’ pre-school? I’m pretty sure that he didn’t go to pre-school, he went to Egypt.
    His father (oops, I mean that Joseph guy ) home schooled him in wood shop.

    • Blank Ron

      So he’d have a career to fall back on just in case that whole ‘messiah’ thing didn’t work out.

  • Esteban Rey

    Scratch a “small guvmint conservative” who wants to “stop dehr spending,” find someone who managed to find a way to live off of federal largesse.

  • Arkansas judges are wingnuts, like the rest of the political ecosystem there. They’re not gonna do squat.
    ——
    Beyond rehoming: crowdfunding an investigative project

    March 13, 2015 by Lindsey Millar

    The Times has just launched a crowdfunding campaign to
    support a large-scale investigative project into Arkansas’s child
    welfare system. We’re raising money through ioby.org, a platform that
    supports do-good projects. Donations are tax deductible. /more/
    —–
    ~

    • MCowan

      I checked and they have exceeded their goal so yay for the good humans out there.

  • FZsdaughter

    Though the mills of God grind slowly; Yet they grind exceeding small

  • Drew Miner

    For sure those suits aren’t free they are however, 2 for one, and they’ll throw in the raccoon carcass, left over from when they harvested the “wool”

  • dimplasm

    Doktor Zoom,
    Could you make his face a little less creepy? Surely there is a veil, or a welder’s mask or something you could slip over his so that I don’t have to look at his creepy as crap, smiley, smarmy, shit-eating grin? I think it’s traumatizing me.
    Thanks,
    Dim P. Lasm

    • Zippy

      maybe a hockey mask

      • Virginia Dreaming

        That is Jason, not Justin. Both are both psychotic monsters, but only Justin is real.

    • TheBidenator

      How about a giant cartoon boxing glove?

    • sw19womble

      New publicity photo – At Home With the Harrises.

      • Jenny

        Slipknot is at least entertaining and possess the ability to harmonize. =/

    • blaid droog

      rick scott?

  • Walter Wellstone

    Yes, state money for freedom and for liberty and for liberty and for freedom.

  • ibwilliamsi

    “And I can assure you as Governor I do not know all the facts,” said Governor Hutchinson.

    No shit, Sherlock.

    • bikerlaureate

      Well, he’s not an encyclopedia editor.

      • ibwilliamsi

        He’s not a “Jughead” comic book, but he comes close.

  • MrBlobfish

    Help me out here, Wonkers. Multiple exorcisms and the children were still unruly. I take from that that God doesn’t work.

    • dimplasm

      Either that or the devil is the strong one in that relationship.

    • BackDoorMan

      From what I remember of my Catholic indoctrination, “… and on the seventh day, the Lord rested”. I don’t recall anything about Him getting back to work on Monday. So yeah, He’s probably retired. (arbitrary religious capitalization because, indoctrination)

      • MrBlobfish

        Possibly. But if their car was still making a strange clicking sound wouldn’t they go running back to their mechanic?

      • Virginia Dreaming

        My Catholic indoctrination was not nearly as fun as my liberal indoctrination. Did you have the same experience?

    • Walter Wellstone

      Let me put it this way: exorcism is like trying to jack off without touching yourself. In other words, it’s an exercise in futility, just like praying.

      • sw19womble

        See also, expecting a Republican to admit they did something wrong.

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      The second you stop rebuking them demons they just reoccupy them poor ‘lil children. Sneaky suckers.

  • MrBlobfish

    Also too, hire a new tailor.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Adopt a child and put her to work sewing.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      And rehome the old tailor.

  • sillyclucker

    Maybe it’s just me but that looks like a woman with a buzz cut wearing a suit. Also, TOO MANY STRIPES !

    • blaid droog

      This fools suit looks like he got in a time machine and went back to the 60’s and bought it at Robert Hall.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        The punchline: “No, Robert Hall.”

        But what was the setup?

    • hvdv

      He looks like an overgrown baby who married his sister. All of which would have been fine, had Pious McLiarpants here not been a morally bankrupt grifter who only cares about children if it suits his wallet. I don’t even believe in hell, but he’s still going there.

  • Virginia Dreaming

    Why are Arkansas republicans trying so hard to protect Harris? I’m guessing they don’t want to have to dodge questions about how this %&&*(^ managed to get 4 million dollars out of the state government.

    • zerosumgame0005

      that or they really don’t want anyone to dig father into it because so many of them are involved…

    • Leema Raven

      4 million seems like an awful lot for a private pre-school.

      • dimplasm

        And in Arkansas. We are a very poor state.

    • Robert Ivey

      1. Its fairly obvious he used political influence to adopt the kids.
      2. Its even more obvious he was abusing them
      3. Its even more obvious he was using his political influence to prevent an investigation by DHS.
      4. Its even more obvious his preschool owes the government a few million dollars for violations.
      So it isn’t about protecting Harris so much as protecting themselves from criminal prosecution.

      • Baby_Raptor

        Everything you said, 5) Republicans always protect their own no matter what, 6) Ditto fundie Christians and 7) Martyrbation. Ride the fake persecution money train!

  • dimplasm

    You know, it’s not like the little girl was important or anything. Not like she was somebody. Just a foster kid. Poor. Trash, really. If she were worth anything, this wouldn’t have happened to her because someone holy and godly would have given a damn. She should just get over it. Move on with her life and let Harris get on with his. That’s really what the GOP thinks. Every statement they make is about Harris. Nowhere is this little girl and what was done to her in their swooning and protesting over the poor treatment of Harris.
    Well, guess what GOP? We do care about it. Your fetus worshipping shit holing, pathetic mewling won’t make this to away. Your re-writing, re-framing, “squirrel” yelling attempts to make everyone forget won’t work. Justin Harris will be remembered for this. And so will everyone else who has dared to try to minimize this asshole’s actions. They have become yours.

    • sw19womble

      The problem for them is that, if they admit out loud that anything happened to the girls, then the shadow of some level of responsibility looms in the background (should be solidly in the foreground, I know, but we’re dealing with Social Conservatives here) and the Harrises have always only had the best interests of their meal-tickets/charges at heart.

      The phrase “Defending the indefensible”comes to mind – at least for everyone outside the cramped little Arkansan Republican Bubble, it seems.

    • Logic of Color

      Naw, that little girl just wasn’t “boot strappy” enough, right?

    • VirginiaLady

      Agreed. It’s not like she was an embryo or fetus. They have rights. But borns? F ’em.

  • SighSperling

    What’s with this guys’ suits?!?!

    • sw19womble

      Watched “Big” too many times as a kid.

      Might explain a few other things about him too….

    • FauxAntocles

      Maybe his head is just too small – might explain some things.

      • Msgr_Moment

        When Big Joan sets up
        Her hands are too small
        She’s out of reach

        • beatbort

          I think the more appropriate song off this classic album is “The Blimp” (“It’s the blimp, oh God, it’s the blimp!”

          • Msgr_Moment

            Gimme dat old time religion
            Gimme dat old time religion
            Gimme dat old time religion
            It’s good enough for me
            …aw, it’s good enough for yooooooou!

          • darnyoudarnyoutoheck
    • Logic of Color

      Yeah I mean where the hell is his flag pin? Why does he hate America?

    • Spurning Beer

      My theory is that he lost about 150 pounds in the past couple of years. Either he had bariatric surgery, or had a special exorcism to drive out the demonic adipose tissues.

      • dimplasm

        Mine is that he has boobs. I’m not kidding. I’m not judging him for that, but I think he is hiding something behind that loose fabric.

        • MCowan

          He could have gynecomastia…which can be a side effect of medications or is also present in some disorders such as Klinefelter syndrome.

          • H0mer0

            I don’t think he could have provided sperm for the three boys if he had Klinefelters, but then again we can’t see their faces to compare with his (and I appreciate your attempts to protect the innocent) to see if they too possess the rosy-cheeked, hair-helmeted Cary Elwes baby-face. BTW, that “butch” haircut to make him look more manly was ill-advised..just sayin’)

          • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

            The boys are his stepsons.

        • H0mer0

          yeah, he knows we are looking….he wants us to look.*

          *Family Guy reference(some of the phrases might have been changed to protect the innocent or because I misremember stuff as I get older and have less time to watch cartoons)

      • bikerlaureate

        It must be difficult to target only the evil adipose, and spare the adipose required to live.

    • Leema Raven

      It’s the only way he can hide his man boobs.

  • Amy!

    Petition!

    Dear Wonkette,

    Please relax the commenting rules for radicals in the cases of child rapists and those who enable them.

    Thank you for your consideration.

    (submitted because I have no snark, just … rage, the sort that turns my vision to a red-tinted blur)

    • sw19womble

      It’s cases like these where we need to be at our most restrained. You can see the so-con machine has already moved into “the Harrises are the real victims here” mode.

      Why give them any more nails for them to self-administer the crosses they have to bear?

      Kill them with votes at the next election.

      • Amy!

        Do you honestly think so?

        In the article, the interlocutor seems to say, at least twice “based on the things that Justin Harris said,” and respondent Mark Martin replies, “you can’t believe that tabloid!”

        I don’t think we exist in the same reality, and I don’t know that venting the vituperative rage that I feel is truly apt to poison the well. That well done had two little girls thrown down it. No amount of pissing and cussing I do is gonna make it less palatable.

        • Bezoar

          While I’m sympathetic to what you are saying and how you feel, and I “liked” your comment, it remains true that the world is full of stories equally bad and worse, and changing that is going to take a lot of emotional control. It’s the kind of thing that can only be accomplished in a dead calm.

        • sw19womble

          It’s the difference between the Harris apologists jumping up and down and screaming about “death threats on the interwebs”, and them only being able to complain about us wanting Harris to be dunked in three-week old custard while the Stanford Marching Band plays badly-arranged Zappa songs in formation around him, for eternity. With votes. :)

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Revenge is a dish best served cold. Grits is a dish best served not at all.

  • blaid droog

    it seems the best way to earn money in this country is to proclaim that you suck the dick of jesus and then beg the evil big government for money so you can teach others to suck his dick too.

    • BehaveYrself

      And it keeps the poors poor. Hand them free daycare, submerse them in the bible instead of science, literature, and math, vilify higher learning as “librul”, and wait for the next generation to procreate. Denying women’s health care, works, too…Keeps the little ones comin’ in faster, all under the guise of god’s plan.

  • cousin itt

    If this same Justin were to be awearin’ a hoodie rather than a suit from the Big Boyz department of Sears, no one would give him any cred whatsoever, no sir, noway.

  • DahBoner

    And Jesus said let your hard-earned tax money go into the hands of the greedy who throw their own children into the arms of child-raping perverts, probably never…
    http://media2.giphy.com/media/10C5xbZwvsFs64/200w.gif

    • JustPixelz

      There was Lot and his daughters, but no tax money was involved.

    • bikerlaureate

      We can be assured that the goal is to train oodles of “students” to vilify those in need and slice through the bootstraps, in Jesus’ name.

  • Spotts1701

    I wonder when his little slice of heaven was audited to ensure federal monies were spent appropriately.

    Hey, they got Capone for tax evasion so it’s worth a shot.

  • MrCanoehead

    There’s something about that expression that seemed just a tad familiar…

  • geoffalnutt

    “Jesus pre-school”, you say? I’ve always been much more interested in pre-Jesus school. Way “pre”.

  • VirginiaLady

    If I had the ability to, I would investigate this fat fuck 7 ways to hell for FREE. Sounds like the “friend” who’s defending him needs some observation too. Birds of a feather and such like.
    Still gonna be worse revelations about the day care.

    • BehaveYrself

      No word yet from the rapist who turned himself in, no questions asked. Has the tabloid Arkansas Times made a visit to the state pen yet?

      • dimplasm

        It’s the Benton County jail. Supposedly the state prisons are full. And the last I heard, the prisoner had used up his visits for the month. So, I would guess, probably.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Two weekends in a row of this over-dressed, underbrained Cretin of God has whipped up a lot of santorum… please find us some other snarkable substance…

    • dimplasm

      Which is exactly what he wants. All this to go away so he can continue just as he was. Thanks, but no thanks.

    • mrpuma2u

      While I empathize with you that there is a dearth of fapability here, this sleazebag needs all the exposure the internets can muster. Let’s hope he dies a political death of a thousand cuts.

  • Drew Miner

    The level of writing you guys have brought to this story is just phenomenal. Thanks for getting the facts, bringing the outrage, and shining the light.

    • bikerlaureate

      Say dat. There should at least be a “Pulletzer” in it for Trix and the wonkoverlords.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    So, a major daily newspaper is a tabloid when i says bad stuff about conservatives. I can’t even imagine what title they’d apply to something like WorldNetDaily.

    • Robert Finne

      Thats called daily reading.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “The news.”

  • Leema Raven

    It just gets deeper. Keep Digging and put this slob away for good.

  • JiGGLeBiLLy

    Someone should investigate the possibility that Harris is the leader of a ring of pedophiles.

    • Esteban Rey

      I think he’s hiding the pedophile ring inside his oversized suits.

    • Cismontane

      ..or just put him away for tax fraud. That works for me too.

  • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

    No one seems to have noticed that Harris claims a family income of only $27,000. (Mrs $12,000, Mr $15,000) This strikes me as vanishingly unlikely.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Hmmm . . . by declaring an income that low, I wonder what other goodies they get to take from the evil big Gubmint. Subsidized health insurance, maybe?

      Harris’s suits fit him better than the “true conservative” costume he wears in public.

    • Vienna Woods

      Well, that would explain the cheap suits, anyway.

    • Cismontane

      So.. in other words, there could be a tax fraud thing going on here too. Hey IRS, do you still have any staffing left after Congress finished with you to investigate this piece of excrement?

      Of course, Congressional Republicans will accuse them of singling out conservative groups again… even overtly execrable ones.

    • dimplasm

      Especially if you’ve seen pictures of the house.

  • AndInThisCorner

    Ugh!!!
    I wish people could literally drown in their own hypocrisy!!

  • Bobo Yeats Druid-Jones VIII

    Being a good Christian servant and all, I’m sure he spent all that money exactly the way it was supposed to be spent! I’ll bet he doesn’t even take a salary. I mean, if you’ve seen this guy, he’s just a little waif of a man who looks like he’s had to skip a meal or two. Oh, the things we do for kids!

  • noen

    He just wanted to have his own plantation. That is what this is all about.

  • Nick.Trite

    My parents adopted twice (plus had three, including me) and have fostered nearly as long as I’ve been alive. While I’ve seen some shit with kids who’ve been let down by both their birth families and by the system, I can’t imagine how completely heartless you would have to be to convince a little girl that you were going to give her a loving home and then throw her away when she becomes inconvenient. What terrible, awful, horrible people. I hope that he does meet Jesus someday and he’s called to account for this.

    • Land Shark

      Mr. Biel-za-bubba already has this vile, pathetic non-Christian on his appointment calendar.

    • Katie Doyle

      From what I’ve read, it really wasn’t even about convenience. She was some sort of experiment for these nutballs. Had she started quoting bible passage and singing hymns as soon as the “exorcism” was completed, they could have taken her on the road to little bible church congregations to be oohed and ahed over. These people are whatever the word is that conveys creepy beyond creepy.

  • kfreed

    Remember this Kathryn Joyce article from 2013? “Orphan Fever: The Evangelical Movement’s Adoption Obsession” (re-homing is a thing otherwise known as child trafficking for fun and profit): http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2013/04/christian-evangelical-adoption-liberia

    *Get a stiff drink before wading in. This makes the pedo priests in the Catholic Church seem like the lesser of two evils.

  • Cismontane

    $4 million dollars in public funds for an indoctrination and exorcism center for religious extremists?! I thought we were at war with ISIS (or would be if Congress ever got around to authorizing it), not fracking financing it.

  • mho mosqueda

    Growing God’s Kingdom has a ‘tweet’ page too.

    https://twitter.com/RehomeMeNow

  • PirateCafe

    Someone please tell me that his pipeline of green from the government has ended. His school should be shut down, he and his business should submit to a forensic audit, and he and his wife should be wearing convict uniforms.

  • Katie Doyle

    Didn’t have the money to investigate, but have all the money in the world to pay this fat doofus. If Arkansas ever wants to be known as anything more than the cousin marrying, Walmart and chicken raising capitol of the south, the citizens needs to stop electing people based on their knowledge of bible verses.

Previous articleHere Are Barack And Michelle Obama On Television, So Probably Someone Is Mad About That
Next articleThe Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Will Sue Obama For Stealing The Internet