Rudy Giuliani: Why Can't Obama Be More Like That Nice Rapist, Bill Cosby?

Gather round, kids, because America's Favorite Has-Been Mayor Rudy Giuliani has some more thoughts about how President Barack Obama is terrible at being black. And president.

But wait, didn't Giuliani recently say Obama is hardly even black at all, because he had a white mom AND white grandparents, ergo, you cannot say Giuliani's racist words about the president are racist? (Actually, you can say that, and you should. Every time Rudy flaps his facehole.) Yes, he did say those words, but weeks ago, and now Mayor 9/11 is back to hating on Obama's black half again. Fun!

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So how is the president being a terrible half-assed black-at-least-this-week president this time? Giuliani appeared on wingnut radio AM970 with host John Gambling to explain, and you can listen too if you feel the desperate need to throw up in your mouth.

These two flesh-covered sacks of noise pollution were agreeing with each other that yes, the shooting this week of two police officers in Ferguson, Missiouri, is definitely the fault of the president and the Justice Department, because, as Giuliani explains, "It all starts at the top. It’s the tone that’s set by the president." And just look at how the president's wrong tone is murdering everyone, would ya? Hey, you know how "an African American president" could be better at presidenting while black? Just, like, hypothetically?

And if an African American president stood up and said -- I hate to mention it because of what happened afterwards -- the kinds of stuff that Bill Cosby used to say, the kinds of stuff that Imam Pasha says at the Malcolm X mosque: this is our responsibility.

Darn, don't you just hate it when you can only think of two black guys in the entire country whose opinions you actually respect, and one of them turns out to have raped damn near every woman in America? (Oh right. "Allegedly." We have to say that because despite more than three dozen separate allegations, Cosby has not been convicted, except by The Media -- mostly CNN -- who is simply trying to destroy Cosby for telling all those hard truths about whatever.)

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So what would Giuliani like the president to preach like an imam while wearing a Cosby sweater?

If he stands up and he says, "You see my family. My two daughters, my wife, the way we’re together, et cetera. This is the model, this is the model we need. And this is what we gotta build toward. We gotta figure out how to build toward that. Of course we’re going to help single-parent families, of course we’re going to do that. And a lot of kids come out of single-parent families and they’re fine. But the model has got to be mom, dad, kids. Mom and dad helping with the homework, mom and dad involved in school." And particularly to talk to African American men about the large incidence of crime.

Insert all your sighs and groans and head-smacking expressions of exasperation here. Because yeah, WE KNOW the president has said stuff like that when speaking directly to black communities, including the ones with men in them, about how to Do Being Black better.

But according to Giuliani, that has never happened, despite his many attempts over the years to offer some friendly advice to all of Obama's friends and colleagues. In fact, he's "told people in this administration who I am close to" that the president is really squandering his big chance to make his mark on history:

This president has a chance to leave a legacy that no other president will have a chance to leave until we get another African American president. And who knows when that’s going to be, right?

Right! Because Americans certainly won't make the mistake of electing a black man again for a good long time, at least not if Giuliani has anything to say about it! (Thankfully, he does not.)

The opportunity is now there. He doesn’t do it, he doesn’t take advantage of it. I explained it this way to a person very close to him -- it was a private conversation, and I can’t, I’d get the poor guy in trouble if I told you who -- and I said, "This is like Nixon going to China. Nixon could go to China because Nixon was a strong anti-Communist going back to the McCarthy era. So he could go to China, and he wouldn’t get criticized. If Kennedy had gone to China, who knows what would have happened, right?"

Well, this guy has credentials as an African American. We know that he loves his background, respects his background, cares about his background. We know that he’s a good man. I disagree with Barack Obama on almost everything, but I think Barack Obama’s a good family man, and he’s a good man.

President "This Guy" will no doubt be pleased to hear his credentials as a black man, and his background, now meet Giuliani's approval. That's a nice evolution from Giuliani's not-so-long-ago insistence that he does "not believe that the president loves America" because "he wasn’t brought up the way you were brought up and I was brought up through love of this country."

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Ah, but now Giuliani likes Obama well enough, even if he thinks Obama is personally responsible for all the crime in America, plus, "He’s ruined the Middle East." If only Obama would take his cues from an alleged rapist, he'd really have Giuliani's heart and mind, except for how Giuliani has neither, he is dumb and evil, the end.

[ AM970 via NYMag ]