So gross

  • Those Duggars, all trillionteen of them, are super tight with Jesus, as we know from their reality teevee show and occasional stumping for Republican candidates. And Jesus, apparently, was totes down with torturing animals, for the LOLZ! Derick Dillard, who is a Duggar-in-law married to one of the girl Duggars, Jill apparently, was having a grand ol’ time sledding at the Duggar home and wanted to share his fun on his InstaFace page, where he proclaims, “Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. I seek to glorify Him with my life.” Watch him glorify the shit out of Jesus by sledding right toward this cat, while at least half a million fellow Duggars crack up, hahaha, dumb cat, why didn’t you get out of the way?

    Sledding with friends and family at the Duggar home :-) #smallestsled

    A video posted by Derick Dillard (@derickdillard) on

  • No selfie sticks at the Smithsonian:

    “For the safety of our visitors and collections, the Smithsonian prohibits the use of tripods or monopods in our museums and gardens,” a news release from the institution says. And effective starting Tuesday, “monopod selfie sticks are included in this policy.”

  • Ahhh, memories of youthful indiscretions:

    It was only last month that a federal criminal complaint revealed that hotel scion Conrad Hughes Hilton III—brother of Paris, crasher of luxury vehicles, and all-around spoiled brat—had perpetrated a 10-hour, proletariat-bashing rage-a-thon aboard a trans-Atlantic jet. Now GQ can exclusively report that last week, Hilton entered into a plea agreement with prosecutors. Today, on Hilton’s 21st birthday, it seemed an excellent time to relive the events of July 31, 2014, aboard British Airways flight 269 from London to Los Angeles.

  • ZING!Screen Shot 2015-03-03 at 4.21.03 PM
  • Don’t you just love those studies that confirm something you’re addicted to already is good for you? Like having a glass of wine every night or mainlining coffee?

    Drinking three to five cups of coffee a day may reduce the risk of developing clogged arteries, which in turn might reduce the risk for heart attack, a new study suggests.

    “We found that drinking three to five cups a day was associated with less calcium build-up in the arteries,” said researcher Dr. Eliseo Guallar, a professor from the department of epidemiology and medicine at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health in Baltimore. […]

    Guallar said that this study cannot show a direct cause-and-effect relationship between coffee and reduced calcium in the arteries, but noted that the association between these factors is very strong.

    Good enough for us!

  • Our pals at Happy Nice Time People have a fun list of EPIC FAIL knockoffs of popular TV shows:

    When the broadcast TV networks aren’t rebooting old series or remaking foreign shows, they’re unabashedly stealing concepts from other channels that have blundered their way into a hit somehow. Sometimes it’s a modest success, like The Mentalist’s serious take on Psych or The Ghost Whisperer’s booby-er take on Medium. Other times, it’s just embarrassing…

    Go check out the list and add your own nominees in the comments, which we do not allow.

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  • MsAnthropesMr

    Science once again triumphs. What I read from that study is if you think coffee enemas are good for you, you’re putting it in the wrong hole.

    • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

      At a minimum dear readers, wait until the coffee cools off a little.

      • AmusedAmused

        And don’t add any sugar or milk or chocolate to it, that’s disgusting.

  • cousin itt

    Aiming for pussy is how there got to be so many Duggars.

    • for Jesus no less.

    • Msgr_Moment

      Well I make the pussy shriek
      with the blades of my sled
      She knows she’s gettin’ it from me.

      Ooops, wrong RWNJ?

    • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

      Maybe he got tired of abusing that one?

      • Blank Ron

        Or she got tired of it.

  • Lizzietish81

    Bah! Fringe was what X-Files really wished it could be.

    • MsAnthropesMr

      I like Fringe too. And the acting was better than the X-Files. Of course, some of the furniture in the X-Files emoted better than Gillian Anderson. Of course, she is pretty good in “The Fall”, so that may have been due to the directing…

    • I totally agree…with the exact opposite of what you said.

      (Although! John Noble is awesome).

  • dslindc

    I love coffee!

  • Msgr_Moment

    Do coffee enemas reduce the calcium in Uranus?

  • Lot_49

    The Wand of Narcissism takes another hit. How sad!

  • anniegetyerfun

    There’s no way I’m giving up coffee OR wine, but every time a study comes along that tells me that something “may” be good for me, I know I can await a follow-up study in 6 months’ time that proves that it will kill me and my entire family

    • Biff52

      Right. What’s the new guideline on cholesterol, again?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The trick is to know when to stop reading the studies. Someobody, somewhere, said a glass of wine every night was good for me, and I say, fuck anybody who tries to prove it wrong.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Dumb Duggars got it all wrong as usual.

    • Biff52

      Hope the kat got a discounted lift ticket.

      • Blank Ron

        Have you ever BEEN to a ski slope?

        • Suttree

          Have you ever tried to put skis on a cat? Puss n Boots it was not.

          • david green

            I can’t believe a cat would put with all that stuff when there was a warm fire in the lodge, and probably a saucer of cream,. My cats hate snow. When it does snow they won’t move more than a couple of feet from the wood stove, even tho the whole house is warm.

  • stankbait
  • NorthStarSpanx

    What else do you expect of Dominionists?

  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    Next up, “Ow, My Balls!”

    • Hardly Ideal

      When the first things you hear in the morning are cat abuse and confirmation of rampant racism in Ferguson, I could actually go for something as uncomplicated as Ow, My Balls!

  • As a cat lover I probably should have been more disgusted, but all I could think was, “Damn, it doesn’t take much to amuse a Duggar.”

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    So my plan to live out my twilight years on booze, chocolate, and coffee is solid, then?

    • ahughes798

      I have a friend since high school, and I am an old, who at one time had a drinking problem. He’s been sober for 30 years now, but when he turns 70, he’s going to start drinking again, and I will join him, Jah willing.

      • Biff52

        I can’t tell your friend how to live his life, but to me that sounds like a monumentally bad idea, being on the same path myself.

        • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

          I’m only drinking half-heavily. So I can start now at 60.

      • Dolmance

        When I turn 70 I am going to start shooting a mixture of heroin, ketamine, cocaine and boner pills, four times per day.

        My old age is going to be short and sweet.

  • MrBlobfish

    Don’t worry. The cat will get its revenge. The cat always gets its revenge.

    • david green

      I do hope that they all forget to check in their shoes before they put the shoes on.

  • katydid13

    I’m probably more ragey about the cat thing than is deserved, but my 18 year old cat was just diagnosed with diabetes on top of being really fricking old. Regulating his blood sugar is requiring get a blood drop from his ear for testing. That’s exactly as pleasant as it sounds. And this guy is hurting a cat for fun. SMH

    • Also, and not for nothing, fuck the Duggars. Just generally, as well as for specific reasons.

      • katydid13

        This is far from the worst thing about the Duggar’s but it’s the most rage inducing to me at this moment. Which given that they also have actively tried to take away the civil rights of people I love might indicate I’m not entirely rational.

      • Sheesko

        I would really rather not. Not any of them, not for any amount of money. Well, maybe $100,000,000 and change in case the car breaks down.

    • Sheesko

      I love you for taking such good care of your elderly cat. He is a lucky kitty.

      • katydid13

        Thanks. I think my father thinks I’m nuts. But I’ve lived with this cat for 16 years. That’s longer than I lived with my sister. He’s my buddy.

        • Sheesko

          This I get. Totally. I’ll beat up your father for you if you want. ;) And now, back to the wonking…

  • beatbort

    Somehow the name Duggar is just perfect for this family. It suggests cow teats and root vegetables and willful ignorance.

    • Thatsit Fortheotherwon

      Dunger would be better.

  • MOG253

    Remember that old tale about cats stealing your breath….heh.

  • Blank Ron

    “Guallar said that this study cannot show a direct cause-and-effect relationship between coffee and reduced calcium in the arteries, but noted that the association between these factors is very strong.”

    Especially if you take your coffee WITHOUT cream.

  • say wha

    And if he kills the cat, he can use that baking sheet to cook it up later.

  • ThatDale

    Okay, I have the coffee/wine/chocolate thing covered. Any news on 5-lb bags of Jelly Bellies?

  • old_redneck

    There’s something positively Freudian about a Duggar in-law running over a pussy with a cookie sheet.
    Lots of aggression on display. Could it be he’s not getting any?

    Meanwhile: Moto-Cat to Duggar: Sleep with one eye open — I know where you live!!

  • Mehmeisterjr

    It is a widely-recognized fact that people who kill cats for pleasure eventually wind up killing lower life forms, like people.

  • malsperanza

    Romney puts his dog on the roof of the car.
    Sarah Palin thinks it’s adorable for her kid to stand on his service dog.
    Duggars try to run over a cat.
    Some complete sociopath in the Arkansas legislature gives sells rents a little girl to a rapist.

    What do all these people have in common?
    1. They are devout Christians, fond of telling the rest of us that we lack morals.
    2. They are devout Republicans, fond of telling the rest of us that we lack morals.

    Whatever the fuck is in that Bible, it must be in the bits I skipped.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Look, I get it that people get offended and angry. Maybe they let their feelings run away with them. But Derrick, if anybody is to blame it’s Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber. Run a cookie cutter over him if you must (with votes.) But the cats are innocent, innocent, I tell ya.

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