Do you still have any doubts or questions whatsoever that yes, you should definitely vaccinate your kids, and no, you should not believe debunked “studies” that vaccinating your kids is bad? Really? Have you not paid any attention AT ALL?

Fine. Then here is Sen. Elizabeth Warren at a Senate committee hearing on Tuesday about whether vaccinating your kids is good (it is) and whether you should do that (you should).

Warren begins with a very polite, Warrenesque statement about how it is even possible that eradicated diseases are making a comeback, and we are, as always, in awe of the senator’s ability to talk about stupid people without once saying, “Damn, but these people sure are stupid.”

When the polio and measles vaccine became available for the first time, parents lined up to make sure their kids would be protected. They’d lived in a world of infectious diseases that destroy children’s futures, and they desperately wanted to leave that world behind. These vaccines work so well that the memory of these diseases has faded, and the importance of vaccination has become less obvious.

Warren then addresses Dr. Anne Schuchat, one of the witnesses appearing before the committee.

“Dr. Shuchat, you are the top immunization official in the United States,” Warren says. “I just want to walk through the science on this with you.”

But is Dr. Schuchat really the right person to ask? Actually, yes. She is the director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases, and before that, she was director of the CDC’s National Immunization Program, and before that, she was the acting director of the National Center for Infectious Diseases, and so on and so on.

In other words, she is not just A Expert, but The Expert, on immunization and disease control. Like, even more of an expert than self-certified ophthalmologist Rand Paul or Playboy model Jenny McCarthy.

So let’s walk through the science, one last definitive we-should-never-ever-need-to-do-this-again (but we know we will, sigh) time:

WARREN: Is there any scientific evidence that vaccines cause autism?


WARREN: Is there any scientific evidence that vaccines cause profound mental disorders?

SCHUCHAT: No, but some of the diseases we vaccinate against can.

WARREN: The diseases can, but not the vaccines. Is there any scientific evidence that vaccines have contributed to the rise in allergies or autoimmune disorders among kids?


WARREN: Are there additives or preservatives in vaccines that can be toxic to kids?

SCHUCHAT: Not in the amounts that they’re in in vaccines.

WARREN: Is there any scientific evidence that giving kids their vaccines further apart or spacing them differently is healthier for kids?

SCHUCHAT: No, it actually increases the risk period for children.

WARREN: So it adds to the danger?


WARREN: Is there any scientific evidence that kids can develop immunity to these diseases on their own, simply by eating nutritious foods or being active?


WARREN: How do the risks of a child responding negatively to a vaccination compare with the risks of skipping vaccinations and risking exposure to a deadly disease?

SCHUCHAT: Vaccines are safe and highly effective, and it’s important for parents to know that they’re the best way to protect their kids.

WARREN: So I think every parent wants to protect their children, and parents should know that all of the credible scientific evidence suggests that modern vaccines are safe, modern vaccines are effective, and modern vaccines are our best chance of protecting our children from diseases that can kill them. Is that right?

SCHUCHAT: That’s right.

WARREN: Thank you.

Do you still have any questions? No, you do not, they have all been answered. Vaccinate your kids, the end.

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  • Last Hussar

    History became legend. Legend became myth. And for two and a half decades, childhood diseases passed out of all knowledge.

    You may imagine Senator Warren in a white floaty dress with no underwear if you so wish.

  • NCSteve

    OMG! The Big Pharma Argle Bargle Blargh Conshpirashy got to Warren! It’s the only possible explanation!

  • Kathy

    Well that was simple and to the point. I wish everyone would understand how very accurate Schuchat’s answers are and follow her advice to vaccinate!

  • somewhere in the middle

    I strongly believe that vaccinations are sensible, and I’m grateful for the scientific advances that makes it possible for my kids to be protected against some heinous diseases. That said, pushing information that glosses over the potential risks does not help the cause.

    Granted, if you tell people that there is a very low risk that a DTP shot will kill their kid, and that the risk is far outweighed by the risks if they get one of those diseases, they’ll run screaming into the night. But they’re doing that anyway. Warren and Schuchat should not downplay the small risks of giving vaccines. Instead, they should compare mortality and morbidity statistics between pre-vaccination and vaccinated groups.

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