She is TRYING to save America

Great Christian Patriot Hero Crazy Lady Christine Weick is saving America, y’all, from energy drinks and gays and Muslims. Especially the Texas kind.

On Thursday, when some Texas Muslims tried to pass as Texas Muslims by holding their creeping Sharia annual event, code-named Texas Muslim Capitol Day, some real patriots were there to scream at them and tell them they are not really Texican, and they are not really Americanian, and go home and be Muslim somewhere else. Like this real nice lady, Christine Weick, who grabbed the microphone to preach The Good Word About How Muslims Are Bad:

I proclaim in the name of the lord Jesus Christ over the capitol of Texas: I stand against Islam! And the false prophet Muhammad! Islam will never dominate the United States, and by the grace of God, it will not dominate Texas.

Then she walked away, with some nice police officers following her, while she shouted “Jesus Christ is the lord and savior!” (in case you’d missed it the first time) and then some other incoherent shouty-ness and then: “Muhammad is dead!” As is Jesus, we might point out. Ahem.

If that shouting sounds vaguely familiar, it should. Christine Weick is the totally not insane lady who crashed a prayer service at the National Cathedral in November to testify that Jesus did not die on the cross just so Muslims could sit in his National Cathedral! And, as we learned, she also has some Really Neat Ideas about how Monster energy drinks are Satan’s juice because the “M” is shaped a certain way, which is related to the Hebrew alphabet, which sort of looks like a “666,” plus also the way the “o” in “Monster” appears on the can, plus the name of the company, plus some other things, and no, she does not seem to be joking about this.

Yeah. That lady.

So naturally she was in Texas to do her thing — now that she’s living in her SUV full-time, by choice, so she can easily cruise around America to scream at Muslims wherever they might be hiding in plain sight. She’s not the only one who had a problem with Muslims trying to take over Texas by admiring its capitol. State Rep. Molly White, elected by the wise voters of Texas to make laws for them, demanded on Facebook, like a serious legislator, that all Muslims everywhere apologize for terrorism or else they can just suck on her Israeli flag. Texans of a certain persuasion (the bigoted kind) do not care for Muslims, no sir, and thank American Jesus they have a friend in Rep. White.

And let us not forget the stirring display of southern hospitality in Garland, Texas, just a couple weeks ago, when some Muslims held a conference to denounce Islamic terror, just like Real Americans are always telling them to do. And some Real Americans showed up and told them to shut up, go home, the First Amendment doesn’t apply to them, praise Jesus!

Texas, man, it’s a hell of a drug. Almost as bad as energy drinks.

[Big h/t to Wonket operative “Eric,” if that is his real name.]

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  • mormos

    How does society put such crazy to good use, that is the question. Crazy is as crazy does, let’s just let her loose in the right direction. Point and shoot – so to speak.

  • jeff B

    letting Texas into the Union was one of the stupidest things the country ever did, the only thing dumber was when Lincoln didn’t say, see you later, see how things work out for you southern moronic tea billies.

  • I say we let these knuckleheads try to create their own country, let’s give them Alabama — they seem to have about 90% of the elected positions there already — and see how it goes. We will use drones to monitor them 24/7 and document the event for future anthropologists to figure out.

    • Jared James

      We’ll also need to fortify the border heavily, because the first they’ll do is invade to distract from internal disagreements and because they have a solely gun-based economy.

      • We’ll just put up speed limits signs in metric, that’ll keep them away.

      • Msgr_Moment

        Gun-based economy sort of takes care of itself. Just sayin’.

  • When it became the last western apartheid state after South Africa was freed.

    Folks forget, but the crazy Christianists in the USA supported the apartheid regime in S. Africa, when the boycotts started in the late 1970’s onward they went nutso defending apartheid by quoting the bible, and spouting off a litany of cloaked and not-so-cloaked racismisms.

  • I drank three on Halloween last year because that was all the host had besides water and if my heart was beating was so loud I couldn’t hear anything on headphones.

  • ITKenn

    Please don’t judge all of us in Texas because of these lunatics.

  • Incoming Ham

    “By the grace of God” sort of implies it is up to Him to decide if America will stay a Christian Nation ™. As Job can tell you, god is a temperamental, impulsive, capricious, spiteful motherfucker. This could go either way.

  • joyanne

    The woman is an idiot. She gives Christians a bad name.

  • bobbobitybob

    We talk all the time about ‘crazies’ and roll our eyes at the cutting irony of “totally not insane, lol”. But the politics and theology of this obscure the fact that this woman really is a bit mentally ill. The “Monster energy drinks are of Satan” fixation makes it as plain as day. That’s just very typical neurological weirdness somewhere on the schizoaffective spectrum, for an amateurish guess. She’s teetering on some brink between being high-functioning and conventional enough in her ideas to be considered a fully autonomous individual, and being homeless or institutionalized. Whether she’s saying Obama eats white babies as part of his Satanic devotions, or that Rand Paul is a disguised alien lizard, she’s someone who should probably be treated with a certain amount of sympathy, exasperating as that might be.

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