Congressmoron Louie Gohmert Quite Displeased With 'Our Republican Females'

Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert, one of spittiest ragemonkeys the GOP has to offer, is feeling lots of upset feelings this week, and it is because House Republicans were forced to cancel a vote on their 20-week abortion ban bill that was scheduled to coincide with the anniversary of Roe v. Wade .

The bill, as you will recall, was pulled because a group of Republican Congressladies, in a spasm of accurate PR analysis, realized that the Republican Party looks stupid and terrible when they rage around about "legitimate rape," which this bill clearly did with its police reporting provision. The GOP ladies were like, you know what, Congressbros, let's not do this right this minute, okay? We will not be voting for this bill today, it is too soon in the new Congress for us to look like freaks on the issue of rape, sorry, but we will definitely help you ban all of the abortions. And the time when we will help you do that is LATER.

[contextly_sidebar id="o80ehDZFKgZ0TpSAhx5AEAHseJRcRPDS"]In a Tuesday conference call with supporters, Gohmert diagnosed the real problem underlying why this bill was yanked, and if you guessed the problem is the repellent way Republican men talk about rape, you are WRONG. The real problem is "Our Republican Females." Tell us more, Louie:  

"I’m told that they’re still going to bring it back, but because there was such division among our Republican females, they pulled the bill that day [...] And that was extremely unfortunate, and it sent the entirely wrong message."

You know what sends the wrong message and really hacks us off? When Our Republican Females just flat out refuse to do what they're supposed to do, which is to shut the hell up and vote to pass every single anti-choice bill the way Jesus ordered them to in the Constitution. It is so anger-making when Our Females start having independent thoughts about how the party is perceived, or how perhaps voters have nuanced views about rape and abortion, or how ladies mostly hate it when rape gets mansplained to them. Our Females are never supposed to have thoughts like that, especially about issues like abortion and rape, which do not even affect them at all!

One way to avoid the problem of Our Females thinking they have some leverage over bills they cosponsor would be to just introduce anti-choice bills so odious that not even Our (let's face it: very, very conservative) Females would want to sign on. Look, here is one now! It is H.R. 492, a mandatory ultrasound bill! What could possibly go wrong with a bunch of dudes cosponsoring a bill to force ladies to have ultrasounds, plus "the opportunity to review them" before obtaining a totally legal medical procedure? This issue has never caused any problems for dudes in legislatures anywhere!

None of Our Republican Females have fallen in line and cosponsored this one yet, and until they do, they will not be able to leverage their support to influence the legislative process. Oh, snap, Republican Males, you have figured out how to be the very worst! Again!

[ TPM / Huffington Post , Image via Raw Story ]