Wingnuts Add 'Did Not Go To Paris' To Barack Obama's Articles Of Impeachment

Allah willing, we are very near the end of the news cycle for the outrage over President Obutthole insulting all of civilization by not going to Paris for this weekend's anti-terror unity rally because he’s secretly an Islamist clearing the way for Zombie bin Laden to conquer Europe and establish the caliphate argle bargle glurrrrrrrrrgh. Soon skipping this very important rally with other world leaders will be consigned to the long list of Obama’s Katrinas, a list that includes Fast and Furious, the IRS, BENGHAAAAAAZI!!1!, golf, Hawaiian vacations, not adopting a shelter dog, expressing empathy for historically oppressed minorities, being black,winningcrushing two presidential elections, the beer summit, and being black again. To name just a few.

Except…it seems the world leaders who were in Paris didn’t so much march as hang out on a heavily guarded street for a photo op. 

(A) different perspective on the leader’s portion of the march has emerged in the form of a wide shot displayed on French TV news reports.

It shows that the front line of leaders was followed by just over a dozen rows other dignitaries and officials – after which there was a large security presence maintaining a significant gap with the throngs of other marchers.

Can anyone imagine the reaction among the wingnuts if Bamz had hopped on Air Force One and flown over to Paris -- with his entire security contingent -- to stand in a line with a bunch of other heads of state, including Mahmoud Abbas, for a carefully stage-managed photograph? We would have had four days of “How much is this costing the taxpayers?” and “How dare Obama make this about himself!” and “Reagan would have been bombing the terrorists, not wasting time standing around with other leaders so the moose limbs know how we feel about them!”

Of course, our military under Obama’s orders was still bombing ISIS even while the president was not in Paris, which has more of an immediate effect on Islamic fundamentalists than a unity rally. But let’s not point this out and slow the nuts down when they’re on such a roll.

Our favorite maiden aunt Peggy Noonan crawled out of her bottle of ketamine just long enough to weigh in. 

Would massive U.S. security have inconvenienced others? Then make the security around the president less massive, less an imposition. There is no law that says it must be as Caesarian, and alienating, as it is.

No law, no. But is there a need? Last we checked, this president got death threats at a far higher rate than any of his predecessors. We’re old enough to remember when Peggy was castigating the Secret Service for incompetence; now she’s questioning whether it should pull back a little so Obama can stand out in the middle of a street in a city that just a few days before saw a significant terrorist attack by Islamic fundamentalists. Back into the ketamine bottle you go, Ms. Noonan. We’ll see you Friday.

If you had Katie Pavlich in the “Which idiot pundit will tie not going to the rally to BENGHAAAAZI!!1!” pool then congratulations. Check the 9: 00 mark of this clip to see your bet pay off.

We never know where he is. We never know where he is. We still don’t know where he was the night of Benghazi. We have no idea what he was doing when that whole thing went down. He was doing things that were not up to the level obviously of what he should have been doing and paying attention to the 3 A.M. phone call.

We are becoming convinced that Katie Pavlich is actually two excitable leprechauns stacked on top of each other, wearing a blonde wig and a cheap off-the-rack outfit she got in a two-for-one sale at Ross Dress for Less. Someone please forward this link to her so she can finally put to rest the mystery of where Obama was the night of BENGHAAAAZI!!1! We would do it ourselves, but for some reason she has blocked us on Twitter.

The weirdest reaction to us was the variation on the theme that Obama was opposed to the message of the unity rally because he doesn’t like to admit Islamic terrorism is a problem. This was best personified by rejected Walking Dead extra Stuart Varney, who said that Obama “didn’t like” the message of the rally because it was “vigorously anti-terror, vigorously in favor of free speech.” We wish Obama hated free speech that much, because then maybe he could order twits like Stuart Varney off the damn air.

Someone at the wingnut brick shithouse Flopping Aces knows that manly man George W. Bush would have stood tall and gone to France, whereas “in the aftermath of what some are calling France’s 9-11, Obama hid.” Yes, everyone remembers how Dubya took charge after he learned about the 9-11 attacks, sitting paralyzed in front of a room full of first-graders before running to his plane and flying off to an undisclosed location for the rest of the day where he could contemplate sending thousands of other people’s kids off to die in a useless war. By all means, Obama should emulate that guy.

Ah, but then television critic and fetid weasel scrote Rep. Randy Weber of Texas topped them all with this nonsense. 

The one time Obama isn’t basically Hitler, the wingnuts want him to be more like Hitler! But for the right reasons. Or something. We’re not even sure anymore.

Obungler better shape up though, or so help them, the wingnuts will continue to impotently shake their tiny fists of fury until they all stroke out. Won’t that be a tragedy.