Topless Lady Steals Jesus, For God

via FEMEN

So this happened. On Christmas Day, after Pope Francis sang a rousing round of "Happy Birthday, Jesus" from his special balcony on St. Peter's Basilica, a lady who'd forgotten to put on a shirt that day bum-rushed the crowd of people who'd gathered for the party to steal the little plastic Jesus from the nativity scene, with the words "God is woman" inked on her chest. The woman is a member of FEMEN, a super-radical-even-for-us-radical-feminists feminist group who, as far as we can tell, is taking down the patriarchy by being topless in public. We're not sure how that works exactly, but the woman who stole baby Jesus was apparently carrying out the group's "Massacre of the Innocents" campaign :

The campaign is dedicated to the criticism of the [sic] senturies-old Vatican stance on women's rights for own body and reproductive function. The maniacal desire to control women's fertility is a common trait of many religions, National Socialism, nationalism and other antediluvian, anti-humanist ideologies.

On the one hand, yeah, we get how the Vatican has some antiquated views on the ladies. On the other hand, we're not sure what the point of this particular political act is or how it's supposed to persuade New Pope to consider updating the church's doctrines on ladies to something a little more current than, you know, the times of actual baby Jesus.

And yes, you sick pervs, there is video. You're welcome.

The Vatican po-po easily apprehended the Jesus-stealer, who is now rotting in Vatican jail, while her FEMEN sisters no doubt plan their next topless stunt to demand her release.

[ Daily Mail / FEMEN ]